the bug - craze up your life!

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The Bug’s Bucketlist

Win a festival ticket !

What about Alex?

Crazy

Moments

April 2014

Editor’s noteBy Kate Sytnik

"If today was the last day of your life would you want to do what you are about to dotoday? If not, it's time to change" – Steve Jobs

When I was a child, meeting with friends was fairly simple. If I felt like seeing someone, Iwould just go to my friend's house and bug her mom to let her do the homework later.Now, however, things are slightly different. If I miss someone, we have to start planninga meeting at least two weeks ahead. And when we try to do so, we have to do all sortsof exquisite circus tricks and manipulations with our agendas to match schedules.

Once we grow up it becomes way too easy to be absorbed in routine and turn on theautopilot cycling back and forth from home to work. Snippets of unconditionalhappiness, sprinkled through our day by a generous hand, are left unnoticed or in thebest case taken for granted. But what if you were to find that today is the last day ofyour life? Would you do what you are about to do? If not, it seems like change is tiredof waiting at your doorstep.

Well, you might say that it sounds corny and taking things to the extreme is not thewisest choice to make and we totally agree with you; however, this month we would liketo give a taste of what it’s like to go beyond the borders of normality. Celebrating April'sFool’s day, we are encouraging you to craze up your life.

In a witty editorial, Ernest Thiesmeier discusses what this mesmerizing word 'crazy'means and points out to its outstanding relativity (p. 5). He further explores ourperception of craziness chatting to several students to discover their own personaldefinitions and experiences (p. 10).

In a sophisticated essay Anne-Sophie Halbertsma shares her idea of a perfect last day(p. 7). Meanwhile Xandra Daswani urges you to experience a burning sensation ofpresence by trying out extreme sports (p. 15). Picking up the bat, I talked to AlexWhitcomb about the biggest challenges in his life and the idea of having a comfortzone (p. 17).

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Editor’s Note By Kate Sytnik

But it can't be all that grave and serious, right? Life is never unidirectional, the coinalways has two sides (as the Bug has two sides this month). So tossing ours, we flip itaround with some goofy bloopers that we bugged out of our classmates (p. 31).Deepending your growing sense of delusion, we expose our vulnerable poetic naturewith poems written in our native languages and Google translated them especially forour dear readers (p. 22).

Going even further we not only share our bucket lists but also offer a crazy to do list foryou to compete for a ticket to Amsterdam Sensation (p. 36)! But before tackling ourchallenges, check out the second part of our chat with Alex to get a daredevil crashcourse (p. 19). Need more tips? Turn to the Life Advice section by Noah Bloem (p. 27).

We hope we gave you enough reasons to craze up your life, so go out into the worldand challenge yourself. Forget the worst-case scenario adult-like attitude and bespontaneous, try something new and explore your limits. Otherwise, you will neverknow what you are truly capable of. I can guarantee that once you start you will bepleasantly surprised. The most important thing is to brace yourself and make the firststep. It doesn't have to be insanely reckless, just do something to step out of yourcomfort zone. There is no need to climb Kilimanjaro to do so (although, that would beimpressive), perhaps for you that is just having the courage to talk to people instead ofmessaging them on Facebook or facing your fitness problems and replacing the cozyelevator with taking the stairs.

However, coming back to our idea of duality and balance, once you've challengedyourself be wise enough to know when to stop, pat yourself on the back and sigh out"That was cool". Because your example might as well inspire others to get out of theirown way too.

Shake things up and make great memories,

Sincerely yours,

Kate Sytnik, Editor-in-Chief

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Content

SeriousBusiness

Editorial:Embrace the

CrazeBy Ernest

Thiesmeier

Creative Writing: The Last Day

By Anne-Sophie Halbertsma

Student Interviews:CrazinessBy Ernest

Thiesmeier

What Get’s YourAdrenaline

PumpingBy Xandra

Daswani

Staff Profile I: Seriousness with

Alex WhitcombBy Kate Sytnik

: 5

7

10

15

17

Beyond the Borders

Staff Profile II: Crazyness withAlex WhitcombBy Kate Sytnik

Poetry Page:The Life and

Times of Google Translate

Compiled byNoah Bloem

Life Advice: Craze Up Your

LifeBy Noah Bloem

Picture Page: Crazy TimesBy the EUC

students

Flex Page: The Bug’sBucketlist

By all the Buggies

Crazy ContestFor all you

Daredevils!!

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22

27

31

33

36

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Editorial:Embrace the CrazeBy Ernest Thiesmeier

What is crazy? And is it something bad?

I guess that depends on the perspective from which you look at it. A policeman thinksit’s annoying. A scientist sees it as interesting. And your grandmother thinks it’s scary. Ifshe isn’t crazy herself.

Craziness as a state of mind is not a new invention. People have been dubbed as crazyfor centuries. In the past they were put in cages. Today they get drugged. Apparently,nobody really likes crazy people.

But what is craziness, anyway? Crazy can incorporate pretty much everything. A hermitcan be called crazy for living in a cave for 30 years. An office worker can be called crazyfor spending 30 years in the same bureau. It is anything that can be consideredshockingly abnormal. Of course, that does not necessarily have to be a certain lifestyle.There are many well-known acts of craziness in our world. A shockingly abnormal act bya normal person. Or a shockingly normal act by an abnormal person. What could thatbe? An office worker bringing a living pig to the bureau. Or a hermit buying a steak atthe supermarket.

But there is more to the concept of craziness. It is a label, always applied by a bystander.A crazy person is not aware of being crazy. For a hermit it is the most normal thing inthe world to live in a cave and think about the astonishing growth of toenails. For anoffice worker it is the most normal thing in the world to sit in an office and think aboutthe astonishing growth of stock values. But I dare you to show one of them a video ofthe other’s lifestyle. They will most certainly label each other as crazy.

It can also be quite useful to define something as crazy. Often it is even necessary tolabel certain things as crazy. Why? The answer is simple: If nothing is crazy, then what issane? The office worker cannot lead a normal lifestyle if the hermit counts as a perfectlysane man. And the hermit cannot justify his cave dwelling if he accepts office work asjust fine. Both of them need to put a label on the other one, otherwise things just don’twork.

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Editorial: Embrance the Craze By Ernest Thiesmeier

This pretty much brings us to the conclusion that there is no such thing as normal. It isa matter of perspective. The act of becoming crazy can be easily explained from thispoint of view. If the office worker suddenly decides to grow a beard and become ahermit he will be seen as crazy. At least by all other office workers. If the hermitsuddenly decides to shave his beard and find a job he will also be seen as crazy. At leastby his hermit friends.

What both of them did was to radically change their worldview and their perception ofnormality and craziness. This act can only be seen as crazy. And maybe as normal.Because the outcome of it might be very beneficial for the person. The hermit canfinally buy steak in the supermarket and stop worrying about beard lice. The officeworker can finally reflect on his life and find pleasure in simple things. Maybe theybecame much happier after going crazy.

If that works in real life? It’s on you to find out.

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KEEP CALM

and

EMBRACE THE CRAZE

Creative Writing:The Last DayBy Anne-Sophie Halbertsma

Were the world to collapse by the impact of a meteor, a nuclear explosion, an extra-terrestrial invasion or some other natural disaster. Or were God finally to decide that Hecould no longer witness His humanly creations destroy the once carefully constructedEarth. Or were it my own body turning against me; cancer, aids or depressionintroducing the end of my life. Whatever the cause, twenty-four hours would be all thatrested me.

If such a scenario became truth, I would not be the person to accept fate, muffle myselfaway between my blankets, eat Ben & Jerries until I feel sick, watch Bones and awaitdeath. If I were to know my time and date of departure, I would make my last momentsworth living for. I would make those hours define the person I am, the person I want tobe and the person I want to be remembered as. I would complete my life in one day.

Revaluing my priorities in life would be part of my morning meditation. After havingspent half an hour in my own spiritual reality, bathing in the early morning sun, listeningto the comforting sound of the awakening world with all its optimistic birds and slowlydrifting away on the smell of freshly made coffee, I would emerge from my bed andstart the day. Dressed in comfortable yet paradoxically dazzling daywear, I would gathermy cheerful EUC friends and enjoy a breakfast of royal allure with them. We wouldlaugh, make fun of ourselves and cuss the devil away in our eternal joy.

My way would then lead me to the Hague where I would meet all my crazy, sociallyawkward high school friends in the park. Our time together would be defined by softguitar music, tremendous amounts of food and deep, touching and ridiculeconversations exploring the difficulties of life and the nearing end of it.

Then, meandering along the sea on the Scheveningen beach, together with my oldestand dearest friend, we would have a laugh at all that happened and come to theconclusion that there must be something close to an afterlife since a world without thesouls of our loved ones bound to each other in some sort of way would not be much ofa world at all.

While walking home, the sun would paint my shadow on the tiles, and I would try andcatch it as I used to do. I hope that the thought of time taking away all that I care aboutwould not keep me from singing my heart out and living my colourful fantasies for thelast time. I hope that I would find the strength to once again forget about thehorrifying, painful and distasteful things and see the beauty around me brighter thanever. I hope that instead of running, I would walk fierce and confident.

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Creative Writing: The Last Day By Anne-Sophie Halbertsma

Arrived home, my fingers would dance their last dance on the piano and create thesong of my existence. I would caress my stuffed toys as if I were three again andcontinue my way to the living room where my grandparents and aunt and uncle wouldbe seated. Together with them and my parents and brother, we would share amacaroni-and-cheese dinner and afterwards go through all the old photo albums. Andwhen all the old memories would revive and blur the borders of time and space, wewould realise how blessed we were with our lives and the love we shared.

Since I haven’t yet found my partner in eternity and my parents and little brother arethe spill of my existence, the last hours of the day would be devoted to them. We wouldtake the plane to Switzerland; honouring all the blissful holidays we lived there. Wewould taste the last sunbeams glistering over the mountain ridges while looking out onthe vibrant valley beneath us. We would feel protected from saddening thoughts by thesoft summer breeze, the soothing whistling of the grass, the twinkling songs of thebirds and marmots and the rippling of the river on the rocks.

When stars would appear in the darkening sky, we would descend to the chalet, gatheraround the fireplace and open our doors to any family members willing to share thefinal hours of the night with us. All seated cosily around the flickering flames, we wouldslowly sink away in the slumbers of our souls. Glints of satisfied smiles would fill theroom together with faces occasionally lightened by the fire, soft voices veiled by thedark, the glowing sensation of each other’s presence and the reflection of love in oureyes.

And when the old cuckoo-clock would be ticking away the last minutes of the day, wewould find gratitude in our souls, peace in our hearts and contentment with ourcompleted lives.

We would be ready for eternity.

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Student Interviews: CrazinessBy Ernest Thiesmeier

ZaireWhat does crazy mean for you?

Crazy means something so out of theordinary that you start scaring people. I’dsay that there is a scale of craziness: from0, like not at all, to 10, very crazy *laughs*.A little bit of crazy is fine because thenyou are just special and stand out of thecrowd. But if you go too crazy, then youstart being like Geert Wilders and shit likethat. You need to contain your craziness.

What is the craziest thing you have everdone?

*laughs* I don’t know if I can say it in thisvery family friendly magazine. Thecraziest thing that I’ve done… I thinkcrashing a wedding was pretty crazy. Butthen again that makes me sound like aweak bitch. I’ve done crazier shit. So yeah,I don’t know. I don’t think I can nameone.

What kind of crazy thing do you still wantto do?

You know what’s cool about crazy stuff? Ican’t tell you something that’s crazy that Iwant to do right now because it wouldn’tbe spontaneous. That’s the thing aboutcraziness. It’s always impulsive. So I can’tsay for sure what kind of crazy stuff Iwant to do. Because at the moment I amdoing it, it’s just like: “Holy shit I did this.”And afterwards it’s just like: “That wascrazy.” Right now I won’t be able to tellyou what kind of crazy stuff I will do nextmonth or next week. Or even today.

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Student Interviews: Craziness By Ernest Thiesmeier

ClaraWhat does crazy mean for you?

*laughs* Something eccentric. Maybecraziness is somewhat like a circus. Thatwould include circus clowns and peoplethat deviate from the norm. You alsohave the psychopath crazy. But you know,I don’t like that crazy. The circus crazy isvery nice, though.


I shaved my eyebrows and I shaved halfof my head. I guess that’s pretty crazy,especially for a girl. I’ve also piercedanother person. And I pierced my nosemyself. I used to have a shitload ofpiercings before which I did all by myself.That’s pretty crazy you know, everythingcan go terribly wrong.

Also, when I was younger I used to sneakout of my house in the middle of thenight. I jumped out of the window on thebottom floor. And then me and my friendwould just walk around and demolisheverything. Once we found some high-heeled golden hooker shoes, and wewere walking around with themeverywhere. Then I hit my toe on the wallbecause I tried to get off the heel, andthat hurt like a lot.


To leave everything behind. You know, goand join the circus. Do your own thing,kind of. Just start something weird andcrazy.

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RekaWhat does crazy mean for you?

Being random and doing something thatyou wouldn’t dare to do under normalcircumstances.


I fucked up my 21st birthday becausesomebody had put something in mydrink and I woke up in McDonald’s in themorning in Tokyo without my passportand felt awesome.


I think of doing the same for my 31st

birthday as I did for my 21st, actually.

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ArjunaWhat does crazy mean for you?

I think for me crazy is when we go out ofour comfort zone. Do something thattotally challenges what we know. That’sbeing crazy, not necessarily breaking stuffor anything.


I did a crazy thing after my high schooldegree with some friends. We said “Yeah,let’s go to London by bike.” So we boughtbikes because we didn’t have any andpacked some stuff. Yeah, it wasn’t reallyplanned. We got lost one hour afterleaving Paris. So that kind of sucked. Buteventually we made it and it was crazy,indeed. We went through a lot of shit anda lot of people just randomly helped us. Itwas really, really crazy because if it wasn’tfor being really lucky, we would havebeen dead.


I still want to do some inevitable drugs,like mushrooms and stuff. I haven’t donethat but want to try it. I also want to dowhat my grandmother did. She hiked upMt. Kailash. That’s the second highestmountain in Asia, it’s in the Himalayas. Todo that, you need one month of intensivetraining, but I want to do it as soon aspossible.

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SigneWhat does crazy mean for you?

In my opinion, crazy means doingsomething insane or dangerous, that youwouldn't normally do on daily basis. Onlywhen you are bored and want to havenew adventures that you will neverforget.

What is the craziest thing you ever did?

Once my friend and I swam in a fountainin the city center of Riga because it wastoo hot outside.


I want to jump out of the plane with aparachute one day

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What Get’sYourAdrenaline Pumping?By Xandra Daswani

We all have that one exhilarating thing that gets our adrenaline rushing through ourveins and our energy sky rocketing. Whether it be skydiving or just having an intenserun through the forest. It does not have to be crazy, but it is something that gives usthis immense high; a feeling that we can conquer anything.

For me, the crazy, adrenaline rushing activities I like doing are cliff diving and freediving. They sound the same but these are two completely different things. What theydo have in common though, is they both involve the ocean, which is my favorite placeto be, and you have to have the right mindset to do either.

Cliff diving is basically free falling into the water whilst free diving is diving without anyoxygen supply, just using the air you inhaled before going underwater. Yes, both ofthem do sound crazy and life threatening but it is something I do often in summer.These kind of activities give me a feeling that I am in my own world, even if for a shortperiod of time, letting me enjoy everything life has to offer. Moreover, it gives me anamazing race of energy assuring me that I can do anything I set my mind to. In thesemoments I feel like I am on top of the world.

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What Get’s Your Adrenaline Pumping? By Xandra Daswani

I asked a few students how they get their dose of adrenaline. Here are some of theanswers.

“Going to Rock concerts gives me this adrenaline rush I never feel by doing anythingelse…it’s like my own personal high.”

“When I go kitesurfing in the summer, there is always this margin of me being takenaway by the wind and crashing or landing my tricks…it gives me such a pit in mystomach that I love.”

“Definitely skiing, especially because it’s outdoors and when you are in your elementyou can go really fast and try crazy new things…but without injuring yourself, of course.”

If you haven’t found anything that most people will say, “don’t you think that is a littlecrazy for you?” then try it! If you think it will give you that excitement in your life(without damaging your body) then do it! It should be something you enjoy and keepsyou leaping in excitement.

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Staff Profile I:Seriousness with AlexWhitcombBy Kate Sytnik

Alex Whitcomb, a red-headed Zimbabwean, who also happens to be EUC Student LifeOfficer, seems like the most easy-going and carefree person you can ever imagine. Ifyou are passing through the gloomy corridors of Noordsingel building and hear anechoing laugh, you can be sure that someone is chatting with Alex in the hall. So it wasa no-brainer for the BUG to pick the staff member for the interview with month, as itseemed like Alex is a perfect candidate to provide us with some crazy stories. Indeed,we got what we were looking for. But we were also privileged to discover a moreserious side of Alex that he rarely exposes. Now we are eager to share our revelationswith you.

What was the biggest challenge in your life?

I’ve done many challenging things like cycling to France and Germany, running a halfmarathon. These are the things that you are not sure you can do in the beginning butonce you are done it is like ‘I just did that’. But the most challenging would definitely bemy solo hitchhiking trip to Romania, because that was bloody scary. Actually, weplanned to do with my friend but he dropped out and I felt like I needed to step out ofmy comfort zone so I decided to go for it nonetheless. I was terribly nervous at first,but in the end I am glad that I had this experience, having met all those quirky localpeople and got into all sort of adventures.

Sounds like a life-changing experience, indeed. What is the main lesson that you’velearned during your trip?

You need to trust people more than you are predisposed to because it appears most ofthem are nice and ready to help. Many people went out of their way to help me:grannies were taking extra bus to put me off at the right spot and some single Russianwoman picked me up at the side of the road and gave me a lift despite a chance of mebeing a maniac. So I would say trust is something we should do more often.

Well, for many people that requires stepping out of their comfort zone. How would youdefine yours?

My comfort zone and insecurities have a lot to do with a fear of failure. Even though Ilove starting up new things, I have to be three hundred percent sure it will work out inthe end. I generate a lot of doubt for myself and I am still learning to tell people to bequiet sometimes.

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Staff Profile I: Seriousness with Alex Whitcomb By Kate Sytnik

Do you do anything to fight it and re-define the boundaries of your comfort zone?

I try to link up with people and surround myself with those who possess the qualities that Idon’t have so that we can help each other out. However, in general I found that your comfortzone is like a muscle: the more you push against it the more you tire yourself out. There aretimes in your life when you just need to snuggle in your safety shell so that you can havestrength to move forward afterwards.

What makes your life meaningful?

I love spending time with different people and getting to know them. It is fascinating to seehow you can influence each other. More personally, it is important for me to create an impactwith what I do, to make a difference in the world with my work. It may be even invisible toothers, but if I can go home and realize that I’ve created something today, it is all that matters.

What would you do if today was the last day of your life? Would you try to embrace the presentmoment or would you prefer to reflect on the past?

I would probably go to the mountains. It is a very special place for me, there you can purely andsimply feel what you feel without the pressure of civilization. I would definitely like to spend thisday with my family and girlfriend and remember all the great moments that we had together.But I would also give some energy to myself and take time to reflect on my own. And after thatI would literally jump into the present and go paragliding. That’s my plan for the last day. I’velearned that life is a balancing act: you can neither be constantly present in the moment nor is itrealistic to be stuck in the regrets about past. These two, past and present, always go hand inhand and you can end up feeling empty if you miss one of these parts. It is really important toknow the right time when to live in the moment and when it’s better not to.

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StaffProfile II: CrazynessWith AlexWithcombBy Kate Sytnik

What’s the coolest April fools prank you’ve evercame up with?

It was in when I was still studying at theCollege. We had a special student board foracademic affairs that was spammingeveryone’s mailboxes with newsletters that Iwrote. So a week before the Fools Day I sentan e-mail announcing that next Wednesday(April 1st) we are getting a new color printerinstalled in the computer room and the firstday will be free printing for everyone. So I waslike ‘Yes, guys, if you have all those documentsyou need to print, go ahead!’. Now the thing isthat we had separate buildings on campus andthe computer room was in the one far off thebeaten track on the top floor of the building.Also, Wednesday used to be a sort of‘recovery’ day after Tuesday party night sousually there were not many people coming tothe university. On Wednesday I was justchilling outside, having totally forgotten aboutthe master plan, when I saw a crazy crowdcoming to school in order to get a colourprint. This might sound weird now, but back inthose days we didn’t have colour printing yetand so the announcement was prettybeckoning. You can’t imagine how pissed offthose hung over guys who had to climb allthose stairs were – in terms of impact wetotally nailed this one! *Laughs*

What was the most embarrassing moment inyour life?

Oh, I had a really painful moment in theschool choir. We had a Christmas service and Iwas supposed to sign a solo part of the carol.We got in the church, my friends and I feelinghysterical because for once we got to be withthe girls: I went to a boarding school, so boysand girls were usually separated. The organresounded through the chapel, I was standingin the front and I had to sing but I felt sonervous that once I opened my moutheveryone turned to the back to see what washappening, my voice being so squeaky andshaky. That was definitely awkward.

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Staff Profile II: Craziness With AlexWithcombBy Kate Sytnik

What is the top five of yourbucket list?

Well, first skydiving. Then,going to India for more thantwo months. The third onewould be climbing Kilimanjaro.Because of my roots, fourth issetting up a university inZimbabwe. The last one is notoriginal at all, but having afamily, a really big family. Iwant at least a boy and a girl,but my ideal is six kids,although I guess I would haveto negotiate that with my wife.But I am sure we could get itdown to four. (Laughs)

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Staff Profile II: Craziness With AlexWithcombBy Kate Sytnik

What is the stupidest thing you have ever done?

Well, I’ve done some silly stuff while being drunk.The really reckless one was when my friend and Idecided to mix up vodka and juice into our‘refreshment’ bottles for our hockey practice. So inthe half time everyone was taking it easy, sippingon the water, while we were getting seriouslyhyped up, making too many jokes and runningaround. In the end we had to pretend we were illbecause there were people asking to take a sipwhen their bottle got empty. It is really stupid andyou hate it afterwards when you get this drymouth feeling but at the moment it was fun.

Which qualities that children usually have do youthink adults lack?

Personally, for me it is respecting other people forwho they are and not throwing oneself intomaking superficial judgments right away. Besides,a sense of inexorable enthusiasm for everything:for the world, new ideas and adventures. I don’tlike the word too much, but really beingoptimistic. Having grown up, it is really easy toplunge into hardcore realism which often timesresults in hopeless pessimism. Adults tend to gettoo stuck in their head, so some spontaneity andfearlessness won’t harm as well. For instance,when I was eight and my sister was ten, wedecided to organize a surprise anniversary partyfor our parents so we just went around theneighborhood and invited everyone to join in.Now you would think about norms, privacy, etc.but back then it was just as simple as showing upat the neighbor’s door.

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Poetry Page:The Life and Times of

Google TranslateCompiled by Noah Bloem

Der NasenhaiBy Ernest Thiesmeier

Der Nasenhai ziehtseine Bahnen,

weiße Spur im tiefen Dunkelnass.Er ist mächtig aufgeregt

während er seine Runden dreht,ist er doch der Geilste.

Die andern Fische konsterniert,Schalengetier schaut interessiert.

Er ist und bleibt der Geilste.

The Nose Shark

By Google Translate

The Nasenhai drawshis tracks,

white trail in the deep dark waters.He is mighty excited

as he makes his rounds,he is the coolest.

The other fish in consternation,Scarf cornered animal looks interested.

He is and remains the hottest.

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Although the title may indicate that the following texts are indeed a biography ofeveryone’s favourite language translator, that is in fact not the case. The truth is that thefollowing texts are the literary visualizations in the dark twisted caverns that make upthe minds of the wonderful authors of The Bug. In a brazen attempt to represent ourproud and crazy nationalism, we have written each poem in a different language. Andfor the sake of sheer entertainment, we have allowed our dear friends at Google toliterally translate each of our creations. So, go forth and celebrate a look into ourimaginations and the translations thereof. Just a warning in advance: the translationshave been untouched and my own Dutch could certainly use improvement. Enjoy!

The Life and Times of Google Translate

Sint en Piet zijn al een tijdje weg

By Noah Bloem

Sint en Piet zijn al een tijdje weg,En wat is dat nou toch een grote pech!Want ik heb nog nooit een Nederlands

gedicht geschrevenDie niet gaat over Sint Nicolaas z’n leven.

En Nederlands is voor mij een eerste taalMaar niet m’n beste…..um…en Humberto

Tan is kaalIk moet toch blijven rijmen en rijmen

Het moet uiteindelijk wel op iets lijken.Oh shit, daar gaat het al helemaal fout,Nou ja, mijn bolletje ijs is tenminste nog

koud.

Je moet altijd kijken naar de lichtere kant van het leven,

En het helpt ook om te leren zweven.Maar men zweeft niet zo mooi.

Het liefst ben ik een uil, maar dan niet in een kooi.

Nederlands spreek ik goed vloeiend,Maar Nederlands schrijven….dat is niet zo

boeiend.Het slaat nergens op, maar dit gedicht

Heeft wel een belangrijke bericht.En dat is om het leven nooit te serieus te

nemenAnders krijg je veel te veel problemen.

St. Peter have been away for

a whileBy Google Translate

St. Peter have been away for a while, And what the hell is that still a big luck!

Because I've never written a poem Dutch That is not about St. Nicholas's life.

And Dutch is my first language But not my best ..... um ... and Humberto

Tan is bare I have to stay fit and rhyme

It must seem to end up something. Oh shit, that's all completely wrong,

Well, my scoop of ice cream is at least still cold.

You should always look at the lighter side of life,

And it also helps to learn to hover. But it does not float so beautiful.

Ideally I'm an owl, but not in a cage.

I speak fluent Dutch well, But writing Dutch .... that is so fascinating.

It makes no sense, but this poem Has an important message.

And that is to never take life too seriously Otherwise you get too many problems.

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Тщетныеусилия

By Kate Sytnik

Палка, селедка, цветочки, листочки -Это, пожалуй, все примочки,

Которыми вооружили поэта в школе,Но теперь когда он на воле,

Не будет предела экспериментам вформе,

И содержание избежит краснойцензуры,

Хочется создать что-то безумноепоневоле,

Бросив вызов корректуре профессуры.

Всего две строфы выстраданы,А великие русские поэты уже унижены;Если бы Пушкин увидел это творение,

Он бы счел это за большоенедоразумение.

Надеюсь, он не перевернется в гробу,Пока я пишу следующую строку,

Но чтобы быть увереной наверняка,Закончу свою повесть поспеша,

Оставив лавры для более талантливогосмельчака.

Vain EffortsBy Google Translate

Stick, herring, flowers, leaves -This is perhaps all the gadgets,Which armed poet in school

But now when he will,

There is no limit in the form of experiments,

And avoid the red content censorshipI want to create something crazy

captivatingChallenging professor's proof.

Just two stanzas are gained,And great Russian poets already

humiliated;If Pushkin saw this creation,

He'd found it a big misunderstanding.

I hope he does not roll over in his grave,As I write the following line,

But to be sure sureI finish my novel in a hurry

Leaving laurels for more talented daredevil.

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Lala Mi GaliñaBy Xandra Daswani

Lala mi galiñaTa kana, ta kometa grita, ta kore,ta trapa, ta kita

tur kos den mi kas

Mi a kwé e galiñaP’en sigui ta kibratur kos ku mi tin

Pa trèk un bon sòpi;un sòpi Lala!

Lala My ChickenBy Google Translate

Lala my chicken,it walks, it eats,

it screams, it runs,it stomps, it takes

everything in my house

I took the chickenbecause it keeps breaking

everything with I have

To make a soup;A soup Lala!

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Je Danserai SeuleBy Anne-Sophie Halbertsma

Quand le vent amène Des chuchotements d’amour Quand les arbres se penchent Sur les pétales de velours

Quand les oiseaux sifflent Et les enfants se taisent Quand les nuages déroulent Des mémoires qui pèsent

Quand la chaleur brule Et les fleurs se cachent Quand la rivière ronronne Et tout tombe en place

Car tout continue Quand le jour se termine Et s’en retournent au lit Les vicissitudes des routines

C’est dans ce monde étrange Que je vivrai avec plaisir Je découvrirai ses mystères Je démontrai ses délires

Oui.

Je danserai seule Chanterai à haute voix J’étendrai mes ailes En exclamant ma joie

I Will Dance AloneBy Google Translate

When the wind blows Whispers of love When the trees bend The velvet petals

When the birds whistle And children are silent When the clouds held Memories that weigh

When the heat burns And flowers hide When the river purrs And everything falls into place

Because everything continues When the day ends And they go back to bed The vicissitudes of routines

It is in this strange world I live with pleasure I will uncover its mysteries I showed her delusions

Yes.

I will dance alone Sing aloud I will spread my wings Exclaiming my joy

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Life Advice:Craze Up Your LifeBy Noah Bloem

Well, I can certainly relate to your situation, I hadthe same issue for several weeks while I wascamping solo in the forests of Siberia in the winterof 1997. I kept dreaming that Boo (from MonstersInc.) was trying to eat me. And I know what you’rethinking, “How could you see Boo when MonstersInc. had not been released until 2001?” Well, thetruth is, I do have limited abilities to predict thefuture. So, putting that aside, I should speak ofhow I rid myself of such horrid nightmares.

You see, the key to fighting a dream adversary isto defeat it in the dream. Clear enough. Thenagain, I doubt your challenge will be very difficult.I mean, how can you even compare a little,robotic, face-painted, evil circus fool with aresourceful, intelligent, sneaky, quick, and overalldemonic and deadly two-year old who isn’t evenafraid of the monsters in her closet? No, I don’tthink you can. Regardless, what you should do ischallenge the small clown to a Dream Duel©.Notice that I do have that term copyrighted, so ifyou choose to utilize it, watch out for the legalrepercussions. I am not forgiving.

I believe somewhere in the laws of living indreams it is stated that one cannot refuse such aduel, so if you challenge your clown, be ready fora fight to the death. In your dream, of course. It’snot an actual fight to the death, although if youlose, it’s likely that your clown will haunt youforever, no biggie. As for how to defeat yournemesis, that’s up to you. Personally, I found thatturning myself into a giant paper dragon wasquite effective in winning my own battle. But nomatter what strategy you choose to employ, goodluck.

Dear Bug,

I’ve been having some troublesleeping lately. It’s not that I’mnot tired, I work harder thanmost. In fact, I’ve written seven2000-word essays this weekalone just for fun. I’m notentirely sure why I think it’s agood idea to discuss theinfluences of modernistMalaysian literature upon thesuccesses of small business inEcuador in long academicpapers, but it is certainlydraining my energy. As such, Ireally do need my sleep, butcan’t get it. The fact is that I’mafraid of sleeping. The thing isthat I keep having the samedream. I keep seeing a small,robotic clown that keepschasing me around differentEuropean cities (which tend tobe the setting for my dreams)in an attempt to pull my pantsdown. I don’t want my pantsto be pulled down. How do Istop these dreams so that Ican sleep in peace?

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Well, for those of you who don’t know (though ifyou’re a regular reader, I’m sure by now you knowthat I am not only a Jack of All Trades, but aMaster of all trades), I actually run several charityclinics for the recovery of this exact addiction. Ihave found, through much experimentation, thatmy 10-step program is the most effective methodof combatting such ailments. Unfortunately, Idon’t have a clinic open in Rotterdam (althoughthere is one scheduled to open in January 2015),so here’s a list of the 10 steps I recommend. Goodluck with your recovery.

1. Admittance – Admit that you are indeed apancake addict and you are powerless againstit. Your life cannot be managed.

2. Belief – Come to believe that there is a higherpower that can save you and bring you backto sanity.

3. Give yourself up – Give up your life to thehands of your higher power (Me, in this case)and trust that it will take care of you.

4. Search – Search deep inside for your ownmoral strength and inner power.

5. Define – Define the exact wrongdoings of youractions and admit it to yourself and yourhigher power.

6. Spiritual Connection – Meditate for severalweeks until you discover your own inner spiritanimal (Mine is an owl).

7. Request – Humbly ask your spirit animal andyour higher power to cleanse yourself of allsins.

8. List – List all the people you have harmedthrough the actions connected to youraddictions.

9. Ask for Forgiveness – Visit each person youhave harmed and ask for forgiveness. Theunrequited quest for pancakes may haveresulted in the creation of many enemies. Becareful, not all have the kindness in theirhearts to forgive.

10. Preach – When you have finally found it inyourself to give up the lustful image ofpancakes, spread the word and preach aboutthe dangers of excessive pancakeconsumption.

Dear Bug,

I’ve recently realized that Ihave an absolutely insaneobsession with pancakes. And Imean obsession. It is gettingout of hand. I haven’t eatenanything other than pancakesfor the past 3 and a half weeks.I’ve recently celebrated abirthday with my idiotic Frenchfriend and we ate pancakes fordinner. Luckily there were a lotof pancakes, and just toillustrate my obsession, I ate77…and the party only lastedan hour. O.o I’m afraid thishabit may cause me to gain apound or two and I’m fairlysure it’s not great for my heart.What should I do to recoverfrom this ridiculous addiction?!

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Screw it, I think that it is time to break thisdamned 4th wall. That’s right. I’m talking to you,reader. Because, to tell you the truth, I’ve had it upto here with all this nonsense. And you knowwhat, I blame you. I know, I know, I could just aseasily blame my colleagues and quite obviously,they must take part blame too (Particularly you,Ernest. Yeah, I’m looking at you. You know whatyou did). The sheer audacity they have! To themethis ridiculous issue on the attribute thatestablishes the exact essence of my regular article.Blasphemous, I say!

Dear Bug,

I write for my school magazineand I’m in charge of the LifeAdvice column. The definingcharacteristic of the wholesection tends to revolvearound a sense of nonsensicalcraziness and writing this hasbecome a defining aspect ofwho I am as a person. Theissue is that this month’sedition of my magazine isthemed “Craze up your life” Inother words, I have lost themonopoly on crazy! Myunique selling proposition hasgone from being life-definingto being the norm! How can Ideal with this sudden influx ofcompetitors in the market ofcrazy? They’re encroaching onmy territory and I don’t like it.

29


But I should get back to you, my reader. For thiscould all have been avoided. Or at least, it couldhave been if you were more proactive. You see, Iwrite all of my own questions (except for one,which I challenge you to find) and it takes awayfrom the connection that you (my reader) mayfeel to my writing. The reason for this is not simplybecause I am unquestionably the grandest beingon this planet, but more so because I neverreceive any questions to answer. I know for a factthat not a single one of you is perfect at life, but Iam. So you should be coming to me for advice.And yet, each day, I check my emails and not asingle question appears. And I will remind youthat the option is always open to [email protected] with all your questions.

Perhaps if you had sent in questions, I would nothave to resort to this silly outburst of dramatictruth. In fact, I feel quite underappreciated. I workhard, day and night, slaving on the black andwhite keys that are nestled together, forming mykeyboard. With only the stale light of the laptopscreen illuminating my visage. I struggle throughincessant back pain, carpal tunnel, insufferableloneliness, and even have to resort occasionally todouble-checking facts on the internet! I’ve evenfought off three heart attacks to bring you thesemasterpieces. All in the hopes that perhaps I canforge a single smile on one of your faces.

And what do I get in return? Nothing. That’s right.Absolute squat. My own colleagues have evendared to challenge my authority on the crazy. It’streason, I say. Treason! And rather than receivingthe glory I deserve, I have nothing. I sit alone inmy room, crouching in the darkest corner, hidingmy sorrowful tears from even the smallest ofcreatures that sneak into my dwelling. And theworld tumbles down around me. And still I fightthrough, wearing a mask when I come to school.Just to pretend that I really am OK. I really don’tneed help from anyone. And perhaps that wouldall be true. Perhaps I truly could be the God that Iam meant to be. If only I were appreciated, justwith a single smile. Think about it. This one is onyou.

30

mailto:[email protected]

Picture Page:Crazy Times

31

Crazy Times

32

Flex Page:The Bug´s Bucketlist

By all the Buggies

Kate1. Voyage around the world

2. Make a radical change in the life of at least 100 people

3. Run a marathon

4. Do bungee jumping from Auckland Harbour Bridge

5. Hike up the Himalayas

Noah1. Create a world

2. Visit a significant amount of all continents

3. Eat at a 3-star Michelin restaurant

4. Get something named after me

5. Get a tattoo

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The Bug´s Bucket List

Xandra1. Scuba dive the Great Barrier

Reef

2. Climb one of the tallest mountains

3. Backpack through Southeast Asia

4. Successfully free dive

5. Attempt to go sky diving

Anne-Sophie1. Do something rebellious (yet

to be defined)

2. Go road-tripping in Australia and the United States, living the musician's life

3. Make a living of art, any art

4. Have a passionate, ferocious, grandiose, ruthless and vivacious love affair

5. Set up an autarkic hippie community

34

The Bug´s Bucket List

Ernest1. Visit every major city on

earth

2. Meet a dictator in person

3. Eat ice-cream on the North Pole (90°N, 0° W)

4. Eat a 500 Euro bill

5. Go to space

35

Crazy ContestFor all you daredevils!

Now that we’ve told our story and equipped you with all the theory, it istime to go into the wild and actually do some crazy stuff! Here’s the list ofchallenges around Rotterdam that we dare you to take. We promise aproper reward for all the humiliation and dirty looks. Document how youtackle the challenge and send in your photos/videos [email protected] to win a ticket to SENSATION in Amsterdam on the5th of July.

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1 Dress like a historic figure/superhero for several days

2 Ride an inflatable bed in the Kralingse Plas

3 Start a flash mob during a lecture

4 Break into the Nieuwemarkt building

5 Be a street performer at the market

6 Dye your hair in different colors that aren’t natural

7 Crawl across the Erasmus Bridge

8 Pretend to pass out on public transport

9 Film yourself saying 10 cheesy pick-up lines

to students at Woudestein Campus

10 Go in Albert Heijn wearing only underwear and a coat

mailto:[email protected]

Editor

Kate Sytnik

Authors

Noah Bloem

Xandra Daswani

Anne-Sophie Halbertsma

Kate Sytnik

Ernest Thiesmeier

Layout

Anne-Sophie Halbertsma

Cover photo

Koen Wies

Contributors

Signe Berzina

Zaire Krieger

Arjuna Mani Hiffler

Reka Paul

Clara Schauman

Alex Whitcomb

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[email protected]

38

the bug - craze up your life!

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