The Big Meal by Dan LeFranc

Sam: HiNicole: Hey, Sorry I’m lateSam: It’s okay. You wanna sit downNicole: Oh yeah. Thanks.Sam: Here, let me get your chair (He does)Nicole: Oh, you don’t have to. Okay, wow, chivalry. That’s intense.Sam: OkayNicole: What’s your name again?Sam: My? Sam, my name’s Sam.Nicole: I thought it was something else.Sam: I’m pretty sure it’s SamNicole: I’m NickySam: Oh yeah, I knowNicole. My parents named me Nicole, but just look at what your mouth does when you say it, Nicole. It’s weird.Sam: I think it’s prettyNicole: Yeah, you would. You totally would.Sam: Okay.Nicole: Well, not, uh….All right. So not to be up front but I, uh, I’m not really looking for anything serious right nowSam: Oh, yeah. Did it seem like I-?Nicole: No. No, no, no. I just want to be clear,’ cause I just got out of this long-term thing with this total, um, clingy narcissistic asshole, and I’m looking for you know someone to pass the time with or whatever, but not like “a relationship.”Sam: No, I get it, it’s coolNicole: You know what I mean? Sam: Oh, yeah “relationships”

they’re so…

Sam: Yeah, it’s like I look at my parents and they’re, I don’t know, intense, I guess, and uh, hopefully you’ll never meet them soNicole: Yeah, I don’t anticipate meeting your parents Sam: Yeah…Nicole: This is totally casualSam: YeahNicole: So that means if this goes anywhere beyond tonight, which I’m not saying it will, we should keep this as, uh, as anonymous as possible, you know? Like, I really don’t wanna know about your life and I really, really don’t want you to know about mine.Sam: Sure. Oh, okay.(pause)Cool. That’s cool. But can I ask you what you like to drink? ‘Cause I really wanna buy you a drink. (Smiles)Nicole: Oh, oh yeah, sorry, yeah (Smiles) Okay, let’s have a drink (Drinks).Sam: Cool (Drinks) How is it?

Nicole: Good.Sam: Yeah I really like this one (pause)Nicole: You wanna get out of here Sam: Should we order? Sam: What?Nicole: You wanna mess around?Sam: Uh…I am a male.Nicole: Like, right now? ‘Cause no offense, but this date I kinda painful.Sam: Uh. Yeah, yeah.Nicole: Then let’s go

(shift)