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  • The Auckland University College Magazine.

  • ehamptaloup and Edmiston,

    University Booksellers, STUDENTS can be supplied with TEXT

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    i t tention to our unri\ • •

    ' I P t ' W m l P " ' M P GENERAL LITERATURE,

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  • The K I W I The Auckland University College Magazine

    JUNE, 1914.

    Volume Nine. Number One.

  • Examinations.

    Examinat ions are a little way off a t jpresent ,

    but it is only right to warn you that the present

    is the right t ime to prepare for them.

    In the first place, are you feeling able for the

    strain ? If not, see that you are. In this pro-

    c e s s , first of all ask yourself if your eyes are

    quite satisfactory, you cannot always tell yourself,

    so lose no t ime in making sure by consult ing

    W h o holds the HIGHEST LONDON QUALIFICATIONS in

    N e w Zealand for SIGHT TESTING, being a Prizeman

    of the S p e c t a c l e Makers ' Guild, which degree is |the

    HALL MARK of a Qualified Optician.

  • WHAT THE KIWI WANTS.

    E V E R Y new Editor, probably, thinks himself a new broom, and starts with lofty ideals for the conduct of his " r a g ; " he is like the leader of a Reform Government, who thinks that all his predecessors were either fools or rogues. But, like the leader of a Reform Government, the new Editor finds the task harder than he expect-ed; one by one his lofty ideals are shattered. The Editor is, of course, a willing horse, and the willing horse always gets more than his share of the work. Apart from the physical im-possibility of such a transmutation, we do not expect the Editorial chair to be a bed of roses; but we do expect the vigorous co-operation of our fel-low-students. This year, we must ad-mit, the co-operation has been more vigorous than usual, but it has too often been of the wrong kind.

    What, then, do we want ? ' Con-tributions,' of course, but contribu-tions of a special nature. First, they must be interesting to students; ob-viously, therefore, we cannot accept discussions of political or social ques-tions in general—be they never so well written, they must go elsewhere, for they do not interest us as students, and it must be remembered that the Kiwi is a College magazine, pub-lished for students. Neither do we, as a rule, want information; we get a sufficiency and even a surfeit of that in the lecture room.

    The Kiwi is, necessarily and in great part, a record of College doings; Club reports are, therefore, necessary. As a previous editor of the Kiwi

    once remarked, the general opinion is that anyone can write club reports, and as a matter of fact anyone does write them. A good club report can-not be written in five minutes. Of course, five minutes is enough to write down a list of meetings and the amount of the subscription, but these are not what we want. The results of the meetings would often be really interesting. If the Debating Society, for instance, gave each term a list of all speakers in debates, it would show in a convincing way what interest was taken in its proceedings. Naturally we must have special articles on such functions as the Tournament or the Carnival, but these are generally ar-ranged for privately by the Editor. One very welcome form of contribu-tion would be short paragraphs on amusing incidents of Club or Com-mon-Room life, or even of the Lecture-room. Such incidents, while they are beneath the dignity of an official re-port, are often too good to pass un-recorded. W h y not, dear readers, note them when they occur, and send them in to us for publication ?

    But the Kiwi is more than an official record. W e need articles of literary interest — stories, verse (poems, if possible), travel notes, causeries. They need not be " hum-orous "—humour is one of the most difficult forms of composition, and un-less your attempt at humour is really humorous, you had better be a dog and bay the moon, or a kitten and cry mew. Besides, there are so many other kinds of " interest" : senti-mental, tragic, pathetic even the

    3

  • straightforward and sadly neglected interest of unsophisticated and uncon-taminated common-sense. As Anthony-Hope says, " Unless one is a genius, it is best to aim at being intelligible."

    Again, we have to serve a great variety of tastes within the limits of a small number of pages, each contain-ing some four hundred words. How, then, can we even consider an article which runs to over five thousand words, and which is of doubtful inter-est to the majority of students P

    Above all, contributions should be in good form; the work of the edi-torial staff has been increased enor-mously by the form in which our con-tributors have presented their articles. Some (almost all, we may say) are puffed out to twice their due length by verbosity; some are illegibly writ-ten, and often unpunctuated; some, again, were written on dirty scraps of paper, with no margins for altera-tions, and sometimes even on both sides of the paper. No " real " editor would look at such " stuff"—the technical term.

    An Editor is always a patient drudge, and fully expects a consider-able amount of work; but it is not fair to him (even though he be a personal friend) to send in articles so wretch-edly presented that no printer could possibly understand them. Of the present number every article but four had to be copied out before it could be sent to the printer. Do you wonder, then, that we have sometimes been unpleasant, and that sometimes all our words have not been Sunday-school words ?

    W e wish, however, to thank those who have sent in articles, even those who wrote in pencil or on both sides of the paper. A more general interest in the Kiwi seems to have arisen this year. W e trust that you, whose contributions have not been publish-ed, will not give up in anger or des-pair. Profit by the advice given here and in the " Answers to Correspond-ents," and try again for the next number.

    T H E E D I T O R .

  • THE EASTER TOURNAMENT.

    ( B y W . S . L Y F T E N . )

    IN Auckland, the public is only too ready to scoff at students and all their undertakings; the newspapers patronise us, if indeed they take any notice of us, and the wise public, which looks always to the daily paper for guidance, tolerates when it cannot ignore us. So it is that the tournament comes and goes almost unnoticed. This should not be; the tournament is more than a mere ath-letic competition; it is more than a brief, crowded holiday for the for-tunate few who can take part. With-out it the Colleges, in so far as they are represented by the students, would be in danger of becoming mere local " swat-schools," separated and estranged by the selfishness which so readily springs up in this demo-cratic country. But the Tournament shows the student that there are other places than Auckland, that there are other Colleges than ours, and that to obtain the most from his University life, he must look beyond the narrow and gloomy precincts of this our cherished shirt factory. (Do not give up, dear reader; it is not all moral-ising. I have said so much to mitigate my existence as semi-official chroni-cler of the 1914 Tournament at Christchurch, and the length of my story. Indeed, you must consider yourself lucky; I could easily have doubled its length.)

    Our team was one of the largest, and perhaps the strongest, we have ever sent to a tournament. W e even felt that we had some hope of leaving the Spoon in the South ; and the novel sensation did much to re-lieve the tedium of the long railway journey. Of course some choice spirits did their best to spoil our comfortable tranquillity; a fearful and wonderful Glee Club was form-ed, and babbled most unjustifiably of green fields, of goldfish, and of gentle zephyrs. Fortunate it is that the members of this club run better than they sing. Otherwise—let me not think on't. To continue. Even the extra express arrives at Welling-ton some time; we had time to have tea (and our manager added a hair-cut) before we went on board the Moeraki. Here we ran foul of some fifty Victoria College students; and you may judge that the boat was crowded—eighty odd students would be a crowd on the largest of boats. Despite the superior numbers of the enemy, honours and sore throats were evenly distributed after the duel of songs and war-cries. The re-mainder of the journey to Christ-church was tranquil and entirely un-eventful.

    We arrived, of course, on Good Friday, and spent the day most be-comingly in solemnly admiring the

  • various show places of the city, after we had been eivically received.

    On Saturday the real business be-gan; and forthwith the chilling frost of failure settled on our calm optim-ism ; for the tennis matches went all against us. But we refused to get cold feet, and, though the wise ones who arrange the athletic points be-fore the event gave us, as a rule, a maximum of three, we continued to place our quiet confidence in the spoon-winners of the previous year. In the evening, the Debate. It was a scene of wild disorder; cat-calls, motor-cycles,* drums, trumpets, bells, rendered the speakers practic-ally inaudible ; it is to their credit that they all finished their speeches. It seems strange that those very stu-dents who would be the first to raise an outcry if a race or a game of ten-nis were interrupted, did their best to make a farce of the Debating con-test. To me, whose experience of Tournament Debates had been con-fined to the last one held in Auck-land, the disorder was a complete surprise. The controllers of next year's debate must endeavour to pre-serve quiet; and Auckland students must show the visitors that, even if we cannot always win debates, we can conduct them in a just and seem-ly fashion. And it does not neces-sarily mean that all noise and hilarity must be abandoned; but a decent silence should undoubtedly be main-tained during the speeches. In the intervals even a repetition of the Battle of the Eggs, though perhaps expensive, would not be theoretically indecorous. But I am moralising again.

    Sunday was a good day, as it should be.

    But Monday was a better: the wea-ther followed Professor Wall's in-structions most faithfully. "We lit our pipes, pulled up the knees of our trousers, and settled back in our seats to watch our fellows winning glory for themselves and all of us. True, the 220 was a bit disconcerting, but the Long Jump made up for it.

    Taking things right through, we did not have the best of luck, but we need not complain. To lose the Wooden Spoon, to retain the Relay Cup, and to get second with ten points was a very good day's work, and we of the grandstand felt that we had not smoked our pipes, pulled up our pants, and settled back in our seats for nothing.

    On Monday evening we had two attractions; some of us went to the " New Brighton touch," and some to the sterner touch in the Choral Hall, where our only boxer added further scalps to his belt by winning the heavy-weight championship. The New Brighton affair was all right in its way, but when one gets up in years one loses interest in walking a pier, even by moonlight, and in danc-ing, and in singing foolish songs. No doubt it was very pleasant for the young folk. They all said it was a roaring success, and they certainly appeared to enjoy it.

    Tuesday brought further sad re-sults at the tennis courts; the North v. South cricket match also started; and then, of course, there was the Tournament Ball. I cannot describe it. Some inspired poet, who has but to call on the Muse and she floods his soul with song, must chronicle that great night. It was—but I simply cannot describe it—no! for I was not there.

    *"? "—ED. " Yes . "—W.S.L . " ! " — E D . " W h y not?"—W.S.L. ! " - E D . 6

  • Wednesday was full of sorrow; the cricket match was finished but not ended, or ended but not finished (what they call a drawn game, I be-lieve). But that was not the cause of our sorrow; it was the relentless 7.40 train which bore us sadly down to the Maori. Again a smooth, but perhaps a less uneventful trip. Wel-lington was done « V amdricaine ; but even in the short time, the V.TT.C students showed us what Wellington hospitality is; they went to no end of trouble showing us round, and wound up by inviting us to a very fine morning tea at " Kirk 's . "

    A fall of snow at Waiouru, sundry tangoes on various station platforms, another and even more terrible glee club, a considerable amount of sleep, and you have all that was exciting about the return journey.

    A few words on the various con-tests may perhaps interest some:—

    Tennis.—Our most terrible disap-pointment on the trip was, of course, Duthie's failure. He was defeated in the first round by Andreae of Otago. Andreae is a fine player, but it can-not be imagined that he would have won if our champion had not been right out of form. Not that it was a fluke; on the day Andreae thorough-ly deserved to win; he found Duthie's weaknesses and fed them. It may have been general staleness, or it may have been the asphalt courts (for this year our players had not practised much except on grass courts). What-ever the cause, Duthie was not the

    player we know him to be. E. Ohl-son played a rattling good game with Duthie in the doubles, and they were beaten only after a long struggle, in semi-darkness, both sets going to 8-6. Frater played most pluckily in his match against Gotz, and when he was one set down, and 2-5 in the next set, he wore his opponent down by very steady play, and led at 6-5, only to lose the next three games and the match. He suffers very severely from a weak service, but his play is wonderfully dogged, and he deserved a better fate. The play throughout the tournament was of a high stand-ard, and though Canterbury gained all the five points, the matches were for the most part very even.

    Debate.—The debate was entirely spoiled by the rowdiness of the stu-dents present. It must be ad-mitted that they were absolutely im-partial in their annoyance of the speakers, but interference, however impartial, in such a contest is inex-cusable. Victoria won the Scroll, and the verdict could scarcely be questioned, even by the most pre-judiced. Our speakers, who were placed second, did well, considering that neither has the natural advant-age of voice possessed by some of their opponents. Their speeches were admirably planned, and in point of subject matter Phillips's speech was probably the best of all. But in the uproar it was difficult to follow the speeches at all closely.

    7

  • ATHLETIC SPORTS.

    Putting 161b. Weight Championship. J. Boyne (O.U.) 1 W . J. Mansell (C.U.C.) 2

    Distance: 34ft. 6£in. Points : O.U., 2 ; C.U.C., 1.

    One Mile Flat Championship. A. Hudson (V.U.C.) 1 E. Bishop (O.U.) 2

    T ime : 4m. 32s. (record). Points : O.U., 3 ; V.U.C., 2 ; C.U.C., 1. Hudson went to the front from the

    start and made his own pace all the way, finishing very strongly.

    220 Yards Flat Championship. W . J. Mansell (C.U.C.) 1 G. Barton (O.U.) 2

    T ime : 24sec. Points : O.U., 4 ; C.U.C., 3 ; V.U.C., 2.

    Long Jump Championship. E. S. Harston (A.U.C.) 1 C. L. Young (C.U.C.) »

    Distance: 21ft. 5in. Points : O.U., 4 ; C.U.C., 4 ; V.U.C., 2;

    A.U.C., 2. Harston was the first man to win an

    event for us since 1908.

    120 Yards Hurdles Championship. First Heat.

    M. R. Stewart (A.U.C.) 1 R. Harris (O.U.) 2

    T ime: I7sec. Second Heat.

    E. S. Harston (A.U.C.) 1 G. Fisher (O.U.) 2

    T ime: 16 l-5sec. (record). Harston won easily.

    880 Yards Flat Championship. E. Bishop (O.U.) 1 J. W . Olphert (A.U.C.) 2

    T ime: 2min. 8 l-5sec. Points : O.U., 6; C.U.C., 4; A.U.C., 3 ;

    V.U.C., 2. Jacobsen led for a fair distance, but

    could not last; Olphert sprinted a trifle too soon, and was just beaten on the tape.

    Hammer Throwing Championship. J. M. Boyne (O.U.) 1 A. C. A. Sexton (A.U.C.) ... t

    Distance: 131ft. 5in. (record). Points: O.U., 8; C.U.C., 4; A.U.C., 4;

    V.U.C., 2. Sexton threw well, but could not hope

    to equal his more experienced opponent. With coaching he should do very well.

    100 Yards Flat Championship. R. L. Christie (O.U.) 1 W. J. Mansell (C.U.C.) 2

    Time: lOsec. (record). Points : O.U., 10; C.U.C., 5 ; A.U.C., 4 :

    V.U.C., 2. Forsdick was very close up, third, and

    might easily have got second with a little luck.

    One Mile Walk Championship. A. B. Sievwright (V.U.C.) ... 1 J. Ross (O.U.) 2

    Time: 7min. 6sec. (record). Points: O.U., 11; C.U.C., 5 ; A.U.C., 4;

    V.U.C., 4. Our only walker, Thomas, could not

    start owing to a very heavy cold. Siev-wright and Ross led easily, and the former won the sprint home.

    High Jump Championship. G. Fisher (O.U.) l A. C. Aitken (O.U.) 2

    Height : 5ft. 4£in. Points, O.U., 14; C.U.C., 5 ; A.U.C., 4;

    V.U.C., 4. Forsdick jumped well, getting third

    with 5ft. 3in.

    440 Yards Flat Championship. W. J. Mansell (C.U.C.) 1 E. S. Harston (A.U.C.) 2

    T ime: 53 l-5sec. Points : O.U., 14; C.U.C., 7; A.U.C., 5;

    V.U.C., 4. Harston appeared to get blocked going

    along the back. He left his sprint too late, perhaps owing to the very small straight to the track. He just failed by a yard to catch Mansell (who was quite done) after having been a long way be-hind. It was a magnificent effort, and deserved a greater reward.

  • 120 Yards Hurdles Championship. Final.

    M. R. Stewart (A.U.C.) 1 E. S. Hartson (A.U.C.) 2

    T ime: 16sec. (record). PointB: O.U., 14; A.U.C., 8; C.U.C., 7 ;

    V.U.C., 4. An easy win for our men. Harston

    started poorly, and did not seem to be moving well over the first few hurdles. Stewart ran finely.

    Three Miles Flat Championship. A. Hudson (V.U.C.) 1 H. Will iams (V.U.C.) 2

    Time: 15min. 24sec. (record). Points: O.U., 14; A.U.C., 8 ; C.U.C., 7 ;

    V.U.C., 7. Hudson had to make his own pace

    again, and ran magnificently, creating a University record, the standard 15min. 30sec. never having been broken before.

    440 Yards Hurdles Championship. M. R. Stewart (A.U.C.) ... ... 1 G. Fisher (O.U.) , C. L. Young

    (C.U.C.) , dead heat ... 2 Time: 62sec. (record).

    Points: O.U., 14*; A.U.C., 10; C.U.C., 7*; V.U.C., 7.

    Stewart ran a very well-judged race. He fenced well, and had a good sprint left for the end.

    One Mile Relay Race. A.U.C. (Harston, Forsdick,

    Grice, Cox) 1 Time: 3min. 39 l-5sec. (record).

    Grice and Cox ran particularly well. Harston, considering the amount of work he had done during the day, also ran well—they all did.

    Tug-of-War. Won by O.U.

    INTER-ISLAND CRICKET MATCH.

    This was the first of what it is hoped will be an annual series. Unfortunately only two days could be allowed for it, and it was consequently drawn. W e cannot afford space for a full description of the match. The scores were: South 278 (A. P. Alloo 75, Tweedy 76, A. W . Alloo 24, Young 23, Luttrell 22, Walker 24) ; North 279 (Dempsey 96 not out, Atmore 47, Broad 31, Gray 25, Airey 24). South 218 for one wicket, innings closed (Luttrell 112 not out, Tweedy 59, Young 22 not o u t ) ; North 129 for 3 wickets (Airey 62, Atmore 13, Broad 30 not out) .

  • PERSONAL NOTES.

    The Kiwi extends a hearty wel-come to Professors JOHNSON, O W E N , and W O R L E Y . In D R . W O R L E Y ' S case it is really a welcome home, and his appointment is doubly gratifying. All have quickly adapted themselves to the conditions which hamper our work; we wish them success and good-luck.

    if if

    Another old student who has come back is M R . V . R . JOHNS, lately ap-pointed Demonstrator in Physics— where has mechanical skill and inge-nuity will find full scope.

    U f It-

    Three of our Rhodes' Scholars— M R . K . SISAM ( 1 9 1 0 ) , M R . A . G .

    M A R S H A L L ( 1 9 1 1 ) , a n d M R . A . W A L -

    LACE ( 1 9 1 2 ) — a r e still in residence at Oxford. Curiously enough, all three are sitting for their Final Schools this month. Good luck !

    •If if if

    M R . J . THOMSON M A C K Y has gone to Knox College, Dunedin, to study for the Presbyterian ministry. W e hope the change of College will bring him a change of luck.

    1f 1f If

    M R . J . M . COLE has gone to Edin-burgh to study medicine. MR. E. K A V A N A G H (not unknown at Carni-vals) is already at that University.

    Miss T . D. TOMPKINS is teaching at the Waikato High School. It will, be difficult to fill her place at College.

    If If 1f

    M R . D . B . W A L K E R a n d M R . M . M .

    HOCKIN are studying medicine at the University of Otago. Mr. Walker was in the Southern team in the Inter-island Cricket match at Easter.

    if IF IT-

    M R . S. H O W A R D ELLIS is still a busy man of law in Fiji. He has not, however, forgotten his old Col-lege, and the deeds of students still call forth his genial satire. W e shall send him a copy of the Kiwi and await developments.

    1f If If

    M R . R. F. ELLIS (brother of S. H. Ellis aforesaid) is continuing his agricultural studies at Hawkesbury College, Richmond, N.S.W. After a badly sprained ankle, he intends to give up Football. He says that the game over there has " not enough science and too much rough play."

    1f If 1f

    Another old student to come back to College life is M R . S. K . PHILLIPS , who brings an imposing array of ab-breviations, which we spare the reader. May he continue (as he has begun) to be an efficient and popular conductor of the Musical Society.

  • WE WANT TO KNOW

    WHO were the bashful young man and woman that asked the Rev. Canon Nelson, " Please, sir, is this the Registry Office?" Also, what they really meant.

    11 11 11 WHO was locked in the Library

    while the Futurist Art Club was hold-ing its recent enthusiastic session in the corridor. And why the said pri-soner was unable to make himself heard.

    if if it

    WHY the D— Society makes its notices of meetings resemble the ad-vertisements of the late Wonderland; and whether a quieter style would not be better.

    ir ir f

    WHY a certain student persists in wearing a College badge super-imposed upon an old Grammar School hat-ribbon, and whether he is more deficient in sense of beauty or sense of fitness.

    If IT 11

    W H E T H E R the segregation of the sexes in lectures is not a laudable custom, worthy of perpetuation.

    If ir ir

    W H E T H E R a sleeping-berth on the Wellington train is preferable to re-duced fares and the company of the Tournament team.

    WHY certain individuals omit all titles of respect in addresses of the notes they expose on the letter board, and whether members of a University College are not (technically) gentle-men.

    H H If WHY the Minister for Education is

    still postponing the discussion of a College Site, and yet reiterates that " the matter must be settled with the least possible delay."

    ir ir u W H E T H E R an Ambassador is not

    expected to take up his residence in the territory to which he is accredited. And if not, why not. Also, whether it is necessary for him to learn the language of the said territory.

    ir ir ir W H E T H E R the close attention given

    to women students in the evening labs, is due to fear of " Suffragette outrages."

    if if ir How the long pink lady's glove

    (long lady's pink glove P pink lady's long glove ? lady's long pink glove ?) got there.

    If If If W H E T H E R there is to be an "official

    set " at the Graduation Dance, and whether the choice of its components is not likely to set off an unofficial set-fo.

  • CURIOSA MATHEMATICA.

    T H I S is not a mathematical lecture in disguise; but I think a few curiosities (culled from various sources) will show that Mathematics is not the un-interesting subject it is sometimes considered.

    It is astonishing, to begin with, how limited is our conception of num-ber. We cannot conceive, even, what a million means—what then of the enormous numbers with which astronomy has to deal ? We say that Alpha Centauri, the nearest fixed star, is twenty billions of miles away. But what does this immense number mean ? Even light, travelling with the (in-conceivable) velocity of 186,000 miles per second, requires nearly four years to traverse this gulf of space. And what about a really distant star, such as Beta Crucis (the second brightest star in the Southern Cross) ? The light that strikes your eye the next clear night had already left the star when Yasco da Gama' first sighted it.

    Anothetr almost incomprehensible thing is the way in which Geometri-cal Progressions mount up. A pair of blowflies, for instance, can produce 10,000 eggs, which mature in a fort-night. If every egg hatches, produc-ing equal numbers of either sex, which then proceed to multiply at the same rapid rate, at the end of six months the swarm would cover the whole globe, land and sea, half a mile deep everywhere. Swat that fly !

    Cricket offers some interesting points. When the eighth batsman goes in, how many wickets are there

    to fall? Some will rashly say ' two,' some ' three,' but those who know will say ' four ' (the 7th man is still in). In a certain match last year, in the first innings A took 5 wickets for 30 runs, and Y, 5 for 31; clearly A has the better average. In the second innings, A captured 3 wickets for 12 runs, and Y 7 for 29; again A has beaten Y. Yet in the whole match Y has the better average. A takes alto-gether 8 wickets for 42 runs, averag-ing 5£ per wicket, and Y 12 for 60, or 5 runs per wicket.

    This suggests mathematical falla-cies. Of these the best are algebrai-cal. I do not claim that 1 is equal to 2—but here is the proof:

    Suppose a — b Then ab — a* ab - b2 = a1 - 62 6 (a - b) = (a + b) (a - b) b = a +b b = 2b 1 = 2

    What could be clearer ? What gambler could imagine that

    the odds against his tossing a coin so as to bring down f heads ' 200 times in succession are 1,606938,044258,99027 5,541962,092341,162602,522202,993782, 792835,301375 to 1? How often we hear a bridge player exclaim, " I've got the same hand as I had last deal"—little thinking that the chances are 53644,737765,488792,839 237,440000 to 1 against it.

    In the great temple at Benares (says M. de Parville), beneath the great dome which marks the centre of

    12

  • the world, rests a brass plate in which are fixed three diamond needles, each a cubit high and as thick as the body of a bee. On one of these needles, at the Creation, God placed 64 discs of gold, the largest resting on the brass plate, and the others getting smaller and smaller to the top. This is the Tower of Brahma. Day and night unceasingly the priests transfer the discs from one needle to another ac-cording to the immutable laws of Brahma, which require that only one disc be moved at a time, and that it be placed on a needle so that there is no smaller disc beneath it. When the whole 64 discs shall thus have been transferred to another needle, tower, temple, and Brahmins will crumble into dust, and with a thun-

    derclap the world will vanish! But there is no cause for immediate anxi-ety. The number of transfers of single discs which must be made is 264 — 1, i.e., over 18 million billions, which must take thousands of mil-lions of years.

    " Freaks of figures " are common enough; but here is one not common-ly known:

    9 X 9 + 7 = 88 9 X 98 + 6 = 888 9 X 987 + 5 = 8888 9 X 9876 + 4 = 88888 9 X 98765 + 3 = 888888 9 X 987654 + 2 = 8888888 9 X 9876543 + 1 = 88888888 9 X 98765432 + 0 = 888888888 9 X 987654321 + ( - 1 ) = 8888888888 9 X 9876543210 + ( " 2 ) = 88888888888

    L E S M O N D .

    [Our contributor's M.S. does not end here—but we think perhaps this much is enough at one go.—ED.]

    13

  • SOCIAL SERVICE LEAGUE.

    T H E R E is a growing recognition among the students and graduates of our Colleges that the education we re-ceive—many of us with the help of the State—carries with it an obliga-tion to give out something in return, in some form of social work. During the Summer Conference of the Australian Student Christian Move-ment, held at Cambridge two years ago, this feeling took concrete shape in the forma-tion of a Social Service League among the members of the Auckland delegation. Many of them were tea-chers of country schools, in districts where social and religious life were at a very low ebb, or non-existent. Some had started reading clubs, liter-ary societies, or Sunday schools; but all felt the need of some organisation which would keep its members in touch with one another, and so give encouragement and useful exchange of ideas. In the city, of course, numerous organisations exist for social work; but even so, there is scope for such a League in introduc-ing University men and women to agencies through which they may work to the best advantage.

    A similar organisation in Welling-ton has for two years run ' settlement' clubs in the city—one for girls, in which plain sewing, cooking, and physical culture have been the prin-cipal activities; one for boys, where night classes have been held for working boys who wished to continue their education up to ' proficiency' standard.

    Our League in Auckland has not, so far, worked on such a scale. Bible study circles have been organised among the nurses at the Hospital; one member is carrying on a Sunday night meeting in Freeman's Bay. Others found work last year in the Y.M.C.A. and the Y.W.C.A. At the Woodville Conference last January, a representative committee was set up to recommend methods of work to the Leagues in the four centres. As a result, it has been decided that, rather than multiply new agencies, the Leagues shall work, as far as pos-sible, through the Young Men's and Young Women's Christian Associa-tions, where there is ample oppor-tunity for work—social, educational, or religious.

    The Committee has also published a set of questions relating to social conditions, which each League mem-ber will be asked to investigate for his own district. It is hoped that, from a report so compiled, valuable statistics will be obtained.

    Membership of the Auckland Stu-dents' Social Service League is open to all past or present students of Uni-versity or Training College, and to any member of the teaching profes-sion. Only three meetings are held in the year—at Easter, and in the June and September school vacations. Though the movement here is still almost in its infancy, the last annual meeting, held at Easter, was most encouraging. The objects of the League should commend themselves to all students; and the members of

    14

  • the Executive hope that many new thing practical can be accomplished members will join this year. We are before the year closes. confident that, with their help, some- K E N N E T H J. D E L L O W , President.

    [Mr. Dellow's article really needs no comment, but a few words in support may be not out of place. This Social Service scheme rounds out the work of the Christian Union, which, it is not infrequently felt, makes too great demands of personal piety, and devotes itself too exclusively to personal spiritual culture. But about this Social Service there is nothing selfish. Further, though the inception of the scheme came from Christian Unionists, it need not be an exclusively religious matter; it ought to appeal to all (and they are probably many) who feel that, as members of a community—city or state—we owe the community more than merely the useful work we do for a living. Social Service means a good deal more than running Sunday schools or evangelistic meetings; when we help the less-fortunately situated members of the community to improve their physical or mental condition, or even to have an innocent " g o o d time," we are doing a very real service to society.—En.]

    CHRISTIAN UNION PICNIC.

    [We think our readers will prefer this " extract from a letter," with its various " touches of nature," to the official report—for which we take the opportunity of thanking the official reporter.—ED.]

    THE chief event of the beginning of April was the Christian Union Con-ference picnic at Henderson. We left at 9 in the morning, returning at 9 at night, and had a scrumptious day. I hope they have some more C.U. outings, but I am afraid they only come once a year.

    It rained heavily the first part of the morning, but cleared up beauti-fully just after we reached Hender-son. The half-mile walk from the station was a muddy one, but the country was so delightfully fresh. We carried a good deal of the land along with us, and one of the ladies was much exercised in preventing the land from taking her goloshes in re-

    turn. This was ingeniously prevent-ed by the help of string, provided by the Travelling Secretary.* The morning was spent in a church near the farm where we were to picnic; we had addresses and discussions (on " A Model Bible Study " and " The Use of Social and Mission Study " ) until after one o'clock, when the train brought us a contribution of Training College students, and Mr. Rees-George with the teapot. W e then re-paired to a paddock for lunch. The women had provided the tucker and cups, and the men contributed a vari-ety of fruits, which were eaten con-tinuously for the rest of the after-noon. After a hilarious lunch—

    * " ! "—ED. 15

  • there are 110 cliques among these stu-dents—we went boating on the Swan-son River until four o'clock, when we returned to the camp. An ad-dress was given by Miss Wilson on the " Aims of the Union," and fol-lowed by " interjection " speeches by some of the students (all men, by the way). After that we had tea, made a bonfire of the rubbish, and teased a tame Jersey (only the men again, by the way) which came sniffing round for scraps and turned up its nose at apple-cores. W e then march-ed up to the house of our host, Mr. Wright, gave three cheers, the Col-lege haka and yell (the men), and marched up the road, singing Gau-deamus to the accompaniment of drums (the billy beaten with a stick, and the teapot beaten with its lid).

    Then we had an evening session in the church. Impressions of Woodville Conference were given by three stu-dents who had been to a conference

    for the first time. W e walked very soberly to the station, in fours or fivee (according to the width of the road), packed ourselves into one long rail-way carriage with two foreign occu-pants who, after some deliberation,! departed into another. Some of the more serious of the students kept us amused with songs and tricks. One man lost his hat through the window, which tribulation was greeted with roars of laughter. Another hat was sent round for donations, and a liberal response of empty caramel papers was made. However, he got the last of the caramels—after the bag had been handed round twice—and was apparently so cheered that he com-posed an ode to his hat, and gave a short history of its life.

    When we reached the station it was with regret that the day was over, and that more students had not avail-ed themselves of such a pleasant and profitable outing.

    t Was it necessary?—ED.

    APOLLO AMONG THE PEDANTS.

    WHO can say that our students are not intellectual, when they even woo the Muse—and, apparently, other ladies also—in the terms of Science? We know not whether more to lament that poetry and sentiment should be BO garbed, or to rejoice that they can so rise superior to their garb.—ED.

    C H E M I S T R Y ALUMINATES LOVE.

    A SCIENTIFIC student, who was chemicTy inclined, Had fallen deep within the snare that Cupid had entwined; But love had played him false, and now his heart was full of care; He tried to find in chemistry relief from his despair. He studied Alexander Smith, and Newth, and Shenstone, till His mind was full of chemistry—his heart, of sadness still. So now he tried to write a sad poetic verse instead; But, being thus confused, he failed, for this is what it said:

    16

  • TO MOLLY.

    ESTRANGEMENT fell upon my love, and made my molecule; And all that love and hope argon, which used my life to rule. Since as a child that love krypton, since those fond days of old When santichlors was real to me, she ne'er has been so cold As now. Acetylene, gaunt cares makes me e'en wish to die; My apatite for pleasure's gone, my tungstics fast and dry.

    ELLBOHOB.

    STAR-STRUCK.

    I WENT to the observatory to scan the star-lit skies, But all the stars that I could see were in a lady's eyes.

    The moon in calm serenity was shining forth on high; But all its silvery light was dimmed by radiance from Her eye.

    The fiery glow of Betelgueuse, Antares, and of Mars, Was naught beside Her laughing lips, redder than reddest stars.

    The ' coal-sack' of the Milky Way, as dark as all is fair Around it, was less raven than the blackness of Her hair,

    But—Eta Argus' fickle flame, his short supremacy, Was more enduring than the love She ever felt for me.

    And Alpha Centaur's double glow which twinkled high above Was not so double as the tongue which told me of Her love.

    STRLLATTUS.

    CAEMINA PRIUS AUDITA.

    A student of English, besieged by an importunate Editor, submits the following poem. The lines may have a somewhat familiar ring, but a mind saturated with learning refuses to entertain originality

    ' BENEATH those rugged elms, that yew-tree's shade,' ' Where smiling Spring its earliest visit paid,' ' A transient calm the happy scenes bestow/ ' To chase the charms of sound, the pomp of show.' ' Beneath the shelter of an aged tree,' ' By numbers here from shame or censure free,' ' A youth, to Fortune and to Fame unknown,' ' Boldly proclaims that happiest spot his own.' ' No further seek his merits to disclose/ 1 Else—he was seldom bitter or morose.' ' Haply some hoary-headed Swain may say /

    " ' Since I have your good leave to go away,' ' Blest with an age exempt from scorn or crime,' ' Procrastination is the thief of Time.' ' But wherefore would you hold me here so long? ' ' Now the rich stream of music winds along;' ' These ears, alas ! for other notes repine'— ' O blest Retirement, friend to life's decline!' ' I am not bid for love, they flatter me.' " 'Ful l well they laugh'd, with counterfeited glee.' ' In those curs'd walls, devote to vice and gain,' ' He chid their wanderings, but reliev'd their pain.' ' Their welfare pleas'd him and their cares distrest'— ' Slow rises worth, by Poverty depress'd.' ' (What oft was thought, but ne'er so well express'd.) 5

    17

  • SOME IMPRESSIONS.

    D E A S P E N E L O P E , —

    You will be wanting to bear about my impressions of Auckland, and I must give them to you as they came to me. The first thing I noticed about Auckland was the large number of small hills. I may say the impression was strongest in the muscles of my legs, but it wore off in time.

    There is a University in Auckland. It is very old and quite worn out, but a new one is not yet in site.* That is, the building is old, but some of the inmates are quite fresh, f No one is allowed to study at the University be-tween the hours of 1 and 4 a.m. This is so that the rooms can be aired.

    There is a song they sing here, called " Wil l ye no' come back again ? " It refers to ' hydrotite ' overcoats, hats, and ladies' umbrellas, which are temporarily absent from their respective position, viz. College Hall, students' heads, and ladies' cloakroom. It is some relation to that ode—

    'Tis better to have loved and lost, Than never to have loved at all—

    and is very touching when sung with feeling.

    * !—Ed. f !!—ED. § !!!—]

    Many students attempt to draw the profs, during lectures, but the draw-back to this amusement is evident when the profs, draw attention to their inattention, and they find they have drawn a blank.§

    There is a Museum here. Take my advice: don't go near it you'd be seized as a specimen. I escaped only with difficulty. I think the students are starting a museum, too, for I see some sort of notice stuck up about a Kiwi. The Kiwi, you know, is a night bird and seen only in the dark. They feed this one with worms (chief-ly book-worms) ;|| but I think it would be cheaper to give it a slug. The Rifle Club could see to that.

    I have seen some striking fashions since I commenced my sojourn here. I think they've got a motter—" Al-ways dashing and bright," and they seem to say,

    " I wear but little here below," If Nor wear that little long."

    These remarks, of course, do not ap-ply to the University.

    And now I feel I must close for the present.—Yours as ever, B.

    ». || !!!!—ED. H !!!!!—ED.

    18

  • A MOTOR PROBLEM.

    LBT M be the driver of a motor-car moving with a velocity V. If a suf-ficiently high value be given to V, the car will ultimately reach pc; then, in most cases, V = 0. For low values of V, pc may be neglected, but if V exceeds a certain previously deter-mined finite value v, it will gener-ally be necessary to square pc, after which V will again assume a positive value, and will continue as such, un-less pc happens to be a member of a recurring series.

    By a well-known elementary theo-rem, the proof of which is left to the reader, (pc)2 = pc -f- Isd; but the squaring may sometimes be effected by substituting X s (i.e. XXX) for Isd. This method is preferable, if Isd be small with regard to M. In such a case, X would be a function of the complement of M* If Isd be made sufficiently large, pc will vanish.

    Now if jp be substituted for pc (which may happen if the difference between M and pc be great), the solu-tion of the problem is more difficult. No value of Isd can be found which will effect the squaring oijp, for—as is well known, (jp)z is an imaginary

    quantity. The method of procedure in such a case is to add KC to M. W e then have an inequality—hence the identity is not proved. It will be ob-served that after this the locus of M will be in the direction opposite to pc.

    NOTES : (i.) The value of Isd re-quired to make pc vanish can only be found by trial. Although no general rule can be given, it will usually be found to vary directly as the value of l»d with regard to M. The deter-mining factor is also intimately connected with the personal equa-tion of M and pc.

    (ii.) Should the value of Isd applied to pc be the 'mean' value, pc and M will still be in opposition.

    (iii.) The increment of V may or may not have been caused by an in-ternal increment to M. Thus it will be necessary to differentiate. This is usually done by determining whether the path traced out by M between two given points is a straight line.

    L . J . C .

    •Surely our contributor means either the compliment of M, or the c o m p l e m e n t o f pc.—ED.

    19

  • TO CORRESPONDENTS.

    AUTHOR of Une Plainte Ancienne : Wliy attempt the most difficult form of composition in the most difficult language on earth ? Not more than half-a-dozen Frenchmen (out of 40 millions) can write "vers libres;" the population of New Zealand is only about .026 of that. As for your verses, they are not merely free, but ' licentious ' (not meaning, of course, what you mean). The sentiments are just as sound as the rhythm (but far less original) ; the rhythm is just as good as the rhymes ; and the rhymes are horrid. Try again in English, won't you ?

    PRO PRUDENTIA : Well , wot abaht it ? KOROMIKO: (1) Verse ( ? ) W h y ? (2)

    Joke ( ? ) A frog is too solid for the Kiwi. (3) Prose ( ? ) Look up Hone Tiki again; you make-a te Maori 'peak too much-a rike te Pakeha; my wurra ! yeh ! Not too much point, either. You can do better; try again, won't you ?

    LEGERDEMAIN : Six months without the option.

    HIAWATHA : Here are a few of your lines—you richly deserve to have more quoted:

    Then the little Science students Learnt of every germ the surname, Every Diatom and Desmid, Every Bacillus and Coccus, Knew the zoogonidangium, Diagnosed the chloroplastids.

    Not very satisfying to a botanist,

    we should think—meaningless to anyone else. But we have seen worse parodies. Try again in Eng-lish, won't you ?

    PHOENETIC (sic) : ( 1 ) Weak aunt yew sit. (2) Once upon a time, when a certain train on a certain Railway reached the ticket-station, an old, old man, with a long white beard (and a Boy Scout's hat) handed out, with shaking fingers, a half-ticket. " What is the meaning of this?" said unto him the guard. " If you p-p-please," said the old, old man, with the long white beard (and the Boy Scout trousers), " I-I-I was under t-t-twelve when I got in at Helensville. (Your joke has a long white beard, too.)

    PHILOLOGUS: N.G. Try again in English, won't you ?

    OLYMPIA : W e infer that the Ladies' Common-Room Club has purchased new curtains, and that the old ones are being submitted to bacteriologi-cal examination. Interesting facts, certainly. But what, in the name of the Immortal Gods, have the Immortal Gods to do with it? Glory be to Allah!

    MOTHER OF TEN : The Kiwi was first published in 1905. The earliest extant discussion of the College Site appears in the October number of that year, where it is proved that the Government House Grounds are Crown lands, in which the Gover-nor has no rights whatever.

    20

  • CLUBS AND SOCIETIES.

    CRICKET CLUB.

    THH Cricket season of 1913-14 was the most disastrous in the history of the Club. The First Eleven, as usual, won 4 matches and lost 6; but, as this record was achieved against weaker opponents than ever before, the figures are some-what misleading. The Second Eleven was much below its former strength, and finished at the bottom of the Grade; and the Third Eleven was composed mostly of Grammar School boys. There are several reasons for this falling-off. The temporary loss of the Domain foresha-dowed a broken and unattractive season, and some members preferred to stand down for a year. The practice-wickets were even worse than usual. But the most serious reason, and perhaps the most urgent problem in University Cric-ket, was the fact that any promising schoolboys are snapped up by the Dis-trict Clubs before they become eligible to play for " Varsity." When they do qualify, the Club cannot attempt to per-suade them to come over from other Clubs, and, in the absence of an invita-tion, they are lost. The Club's source of supply is so restricted that it ought to have first call on the services of eligi-ble players, and, unless conditions im-prove, it may become necessary to ask the Association for redress.

    It cannot be said that the First Eleven was strong. The batting depended far too much on the first-wicket partnership, which maintained a wonderful con-sistency, but could not hope to succeed without better support. The real needs were a batsman of class to go in first wicket down, and a hard-hitting batsman of the Ellis type to ride rough-shod over the bowling.

    With these additions the batting would have answered all demands, for it never before seemed so full of possibilities at the lower end of the list.

    The most valuable batsman was Cara-dus, who made a distinct advance on any previous form. His batting is quite

    lacking in power, but his timing and placing are so good that, on hard wic-kets, his rate of scoring is quite as fast as the average. On slow wickets, it seems almost impossible to hit his stumps, and only the wicket-keeper stands near enough to catch him. In spite of his falling away toward the end of the season, no one has so nearly filled the vacancy left by Alan Wallace.

    Wonderfully consistent though he was, Airey may feel a trifle disappointed with the season's work; but it has really been a most valuable experience for him. Hitherto purely a fast-wicket batsman, he found it necessary on the many slow wickets to strengthen his back-play; and, quickly adapting himself to conditions, he was soon able to score soundly and well. When at last the hard wickets came, he found that he could not make some of his forward shots with the old freedom, and spent the rest of the season in blending the two styles. It was really a period of development, from which he emerges a sounder and more finished batsman. As his fielding has improved until he is now one of the best cover-points in Auckland, he should be an Auckland rep. in the near future.

    Player, casting aside the ways of the potterer, and using his reach and strength, fulfilled his early promise and was the best all-round player in the team. His legs are still too conspicuous a feature of his batting, but he is gradu-ally subduing them, with excellent re-sults. Rowe and Sutherland were both useful, the former's ability to trounce loose bowling standing the team in good stead. The season was too short for Sutherland, who was just finding the bowling easy when Cricket went off the scene. Graham started well, but fell right away, and Taylor is still grappling with his form. Perry, brought into the team in mid-season, easily kept his place, and played some bright innings.

    The bowling suffered from lack of variety. The sole aim of every bowler was to uproot his opponent's stumps with

  • a medium-pace ball. No one would atoop to chicanery or guile. For a match or two in mid-season, just the type of bowler needed seemed to have been found in Col-vile, but, almost before he had worked into form, he left the district. The bowl-ing, like the batting, depended almost entirely on two men. Taylor at no time reached his best form, but even so he was the steadiest bowler on the side, and in consequence often had to bowl for long spells. Though some of his old nip was missing, he was again one of the best bowlers in Auckland. Player quite fulfilled the high expectations of last sea-son; bowling from a great height, he was almost unplayable on a wicket that helped him. He does not know enough at present to get good batsmen out on true wickets, and the effort to impart extra spin impairs his length, but there is no young bowler in Auckland with such possibilities.

    Fenwick, who has been such a con-sistent bowler for the Club in the past, never struck form, and no one else could be depended upon to get wickets. From the general condemnation for lack of artifice, Vickerman must be excepted. No one seemed to understand his intri-cate system, the batsmen least of all, and it almost made one a fatalist to see him go on to bowl, and at the appointed time dismiss the batsman in whatever way he thought fit. He took 10 wickets at very small cost, and was invaluable as a breaker of stubborn partnerships.

    The fielding was patchy, and the Club should devise a scheme for fielding prac-tice, particularly the matter of returning to the wickets.

    But the team could boast of strength in one direction—captaincy. Graham is a thoroughly good captain, and his tact, judgment, and enthusiasm kept the team together through a very trying season. Even defeat cannot diminish his popu-larity, his dignity, or his cheerfulness.

    At the beginning of the season, the Second Eleven, with wise foresight, elected two captains—but they did not prove nearly enough: before the end, they had elected some half-dozen more. Under such conditions, only a miracle could have brought success. Still, the team was keen, and included some pro-mising youngsters. A team, consisting mostly of Grammar School boys, was playing enthusiastically in the Third Grade. The only encouragement offered by the Association was two byes in suc-

    cession—the Association delights in these playful little vagaries.

    Having no home ground, the Club tem-porarily lost the moral influence of its lady supporters, not to mention the more tangible comfort of afternoon tea. At once a certain carelessness in dress and demeanour made itself apparent. One player proposed to eke out his bowling by the use of black trousers; but the climax was reached when the Beau Brummel of the team took up his station at cover-point, resplendent in a sea-green shirt. However, the Club's fair sup-porters have promised to return to their allegiance next season.

    Apart from the question of member-ship, the Club's greatest needs are better practice wickets, a good ground bowler, more fielding practice, and more con-fidence.

    LITERARY CLUB.

    After a year of inactivity, the Literary Club held its Annual General Meeting on Thursday, 2nd April, when it was un-animously decided that the Club was worthy of resuscitation. The finances are most satisfactory, and everything points to a most successful future. The great thing is for every member of the Club to be willing to take an active part in readings, and not be content to assist as a listener.

    A reading of the Merchant of Venice was given on the 7th May. The Club was fortunate in having the services of several former members, including Miss Cottrell (who read Portia), and of Mr. Archdale Tayler (Shylock). Considering adverse circumstances — the impossibil-ity of holding even one full rehearsal, and the absence, at the Territorial camp, of many members of the original cast—the performance was extraordinarily suc-cessful. The audience was (for a College audience) fairly large, and very appre-ciative. The closing " c e r e m o n y " of the evening was a supper in the Ladies' Com-mon-room.

    The Club proposes to hold, at short intervals throughout the year, meetings of varied character, which should appeal to all classes of students. All students are eligible for membership, and the objects of the Club are such as to recom-mend it to all who are connected with the College.

    C. H . A. SENIOR, Hon. Sec.

    22

  • KIDS' CLUB.

    The above Club was inaugurated at a meeting held in College on Wednesday, April 1st. Various speakers pointed out that, though a number of College socie-ties ministered to the social, intellectual, political, physical, and even the spiritual needs of older students, the younger and smaller members of the College were in such a position that the more mature students " looked down their n o s e s " at them; what was needed was a defensive and offensive alliance. The motion to form a Club was carried with enthusiasm. There was some conflict of opinion re the name of the Club. " Flapper Society " was suggested, but, in spite of the mathe-matical acumen with which the Chairman pointed out that, in accordance with sta-tistics, the probability of the female mem-bers of the Society being at any given time in the majority was very great, it was decided that male persons could not properly be said to ' flap,' and the more epicene nomenclature of KIDS ' CLUB was finally adopted (one member inter-jecting that the appellation of ' k i d ' " g o t his g o a t " ) . After discussion, it was de-cided that the badge of the Club should be : on a ground of heraldic blue, a feed-ing-bottle proper, with the motto Maxima debetur Pueris Reverentia (a motion to add, after the word Pueris, the word or words Puellisque, was overruled, the Chair pointing out that Pueri would naturally embrace Puellas). It was de-cided to restrict the membership to such Students of the Auckland University Col-lege as have not yet ' put up their hair, ' or whose nether garments conclude not less than 6 (six) inches above the ankle ; provided always that any student actually wearing the uniform of a Boy Scout, Girl Scout, or Senior Cadet, should be admit-ted to any meeting of the Club. On the question whether membership should be restricted by any age or size limit, it was unanimously decided that any older or larger Student possessing the nerve to wear the costume of the Club, was en-titled to all the privileges of membership. It was further resolved: (1) That, in ac-cordance with the Club's motto, one of the special objects of the Club be the dis-couragement of the use of strong tobacco or language in the Common Rooms (sic); (2) That the Chancellor of the University be approached with a view to having the matriculation age reduced to 14* years; (3) That the Christian Union be

    asked to establish a Junior department, meetings to be held, if necessary, at the same time as the meetings of some other Society; (4) That the Secretary be recom-mended to keep the Minutes of the Club in words of one syllable. After light re-freshments, in the form of ABC biscuits, Mellin's Food, Glaxo, and humanised milk, the meeting was adjourned.

    O. U. KIDD, Secretary.

    MEN'S COMMON ROOM CLUB.

    This Club continues its popularity, and the advantages it offers are still appreci-ated by the majority of students. It is particularly gratifying that a large num-ber of freshmen are availing themselves of its privileges.

    Ping-pong, as usual, is much in evi-dence, and both old and new students find relief in this game from the weari-ness of lectures. The provision of tea to members continues to add much to the popularity of the Club. The comprehen-sive library is also a source of great en-joyment.

    Indeed, if members were as ready to pay their subscriptions as they are to en-joy the many privileges the Club affords, its prosperity would never be in doubt. All things considered, however, the club may reasonably hope to have as success-ful a year as usual.

    V E B E R . B R O W N E , H o n . S e c .

    LADIES ' COMMON ROOM CLUB.

    Little was done by the Club last year. At the end of the year we decided that we should entertain the Men's Common Room Club, so all arrangements were made for a moonlight picnic which, for a time, had every prospect of being a huge success. But circumstances (not the wea-ther) were against us this time. Owing to the strike and the general upset re-sulting therefrom, it was thought hardly advisable to hold the p icnic ; so it was postponed till some time this year. As yet, however, no favourable opportunity has offered itself. On the first Monday of vacation a social was given, to which the members of the Men's Common-Room Club were invited. The evening passed off more successfully than was at one time imagined.

    N . T I Z A R D , H o n . S e c .

    [ Indeed, we thought the evening was " eminently successful."—ED.]

  • ATHLETIC CLUB.

    Enthusiasm for aught but books and learning is rarely displayed in our Col-lege. On the few occasions when the over-powering lethargy, which has settled on us, is thrown off, things of note are done.

    The Athletic Club is fortunate in that during the last two years this lethargy has grown beautifully less, until at the present time even the pronounced pessi-mist dares not dispute the fact that there now exists something akin to enthusiasm among supporters of the Athletic Club.

    Undoubtedly the revival of interest has been largely instrumental in improving the achievements and prospects of the Club.

    The objects of the Club are two-fold; primarily to send an efficient team each year to compete at the Tournament, and secondarily to promote social life among College students. That the Club's Cinde-rella Dances have added considerably to College social life is an established fact. Already this year the Club has held a dance which proved even more successful than its predecessors. The next dance is announced for the 20th June.

    Opportunity was taken at the last dance to present certificates to the winners at the Inter-faculty Sports in December, and standard badges to the members who broke standards this year in the Easter trials. Professor Segar, who made the presentations, showed considerable inter-est in the " Wooden Spoon "—the reward of the least fleet—and made the interest-ing discovery that the inscription " A.U.C." alone adorned its silver shields. He expressed the hope that before an-other year had passed we would have changed the Spoon for the Shield.

    An innovation in the form of an Inter-faculty Sports Meeting was largely re-sponsible for the improvement in our team this year. Many of our men who competed at this meeting continued the training thus begun, and subsequently faced the starter at Easter in the best of form. M. R. Stewart, who broke both hurdle records, and E. S. Harston, who also competed successfully, are two cases in point.

    That the meeting was a success speaks highly for the ability of the Executive President of the Club (Mr. H. A. E. Milnes), and of our hard-working secre-tary (Mr. N. R. W. Thomas). The mem-bers of the Club take this opportunity of

    thanking these two officers for the good work they have done.

    The Inter-faculty Shield was won by Education, 44£ points. The points gained by the other faculties were as follows:— Law 16^, Science ]0, Arts 3, Commerce 2.

    COMMITTEE M E M B E R .

    [We wish to apologise for any mistakes in this report. The MS. was writen in pencil and practically illegible; it had to be transcribed before being sent to the printer.—ED.]

    R I F L E C L U B .

    Interest in rifle shooting has varied con-siderably. Last year a team was selected to shoot for the Haslam Shield—a shield which is open for competition among the four University Colleges of New Zealand —but owing to adverse weather conditions the match could not be fired in time. Thanks, however, to the energy of Mr. L. J. Comrie and one or two others, the match was fired early in the first term of this year, the respectable score of 653 out of a possible 840 being put up by the eight men. Commons, who was one of the team of New Zealand Cadets that went to Canada some time ago, was top scorer with 95 out of 105. The following week, at a very enthusiastic meeting con-vened by Mr. L. J. Comrie, a Rifle Club was formed, and officers elected. The Club was fortunate in securing Professor Owen as Honorary President. The Pro-fessor is a keen all-round sport, an excel-lent shot with the fowling-piece, and is moreover desirous of mastering the Lee-Enfield. The Club's Executive at once got to work and made certain recommen-dations for the meeting of the Tourna-ment Delegates at Christchurch. Owing to an error in the conditions under which the team had fired for the shield it was found necessary to re-fire the match. This was done on April 25th, after four days' notice, in heavy squalls and driving rain, consequently the total secured was con-siderably less, amounting to 464. None of the other Colleges, we believe, has fired this year, so if this score is confirmed by the Tournament Delegates, the Rifle Club will, in the first year of its existence, have the satisfaction of winning the shield. The members of the team were : Comrie, Cox, Downer, Harston, Hudson, Jame-son, Kinloch, and Worley.

    N. R . W . THOMAS, H o n . Secretary.

    24

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