7/29/2019 Success Secrets, Beliefs and the Power of the Past

1/2

Success Secrets, Beliefs and the Power of the Past

I was working with a client of mine (we'll call him Bob) and he was telling me

about how his entire adult life he had been a "failure." And, he continued "It

wasn't for a lack of trying..." Bob had started several businesses, and failed.

His oldest son had just recently entered college and he felt helpless to aid hisson as he had to take on student loans and a job to pay for his tuition. I

probed a little further into Bob's past, as well into some of his recent

business dealings. I learned that he had a rather comfortable upbringing on

the east coast, but had endured painful bouts of loneliness and alienation as

his parents, both doctors, were seldom around. He had heard over and over

again the story that he, an only child, was the product of a "Hot night in

Cabo..." and "not part of his parent's original plans." His parents often

traveled to exotic locales, as he spent summers and holidays with his grandmother on a little farm just

outside Omaha, Nebraska. His grandmother, though sixty years his senior, was his best friend... his

only friend. During the blizzard of 1975 when he was nine, and again in the care of his grandmother ashis parents "trotted the globe," his best friend fell ill. Barely breathing and uncharacteristically still, he

called 911 and set out into the storm for help. One of the worst blizzards in recent history, he didn't

make it far into the blinding whiteout and rushed back to her side. Two hours later as help finally

arrived, he cradled his grandmother in his arms - she had died nearly an hour earlier.

Now here we are in my office on a beautiful fall day in Los Angeles, over 35 years later. The hurt he still

feels is palpable. His continuous failures, he contends, are what he calls his "curse." His having lost the

majority of his inheritance to bad investments and business ventures over the previous decade, offer

even further proof of his "Lifelong losing streak." he reasoned. Remarkably, while he wasn't

particularly fond of his deceased parents, he didn't blame them for his misfortune. "God hates me."

he passively stated. As he continued to tell me his story, it his apparent that he had reached outbefore for help which only furthered his disillusionment "And don't give me crap about the law of

attraction... it doesn't work. I did nothing to attract these hardships to me, no more than those

starving kids in Africa have... or the little girl with cancer." he barked. "We all have a plan... a purpose,

even if we don't understand it." I countered. As he pondered my response, several things were clearly

apparent:

1. He blamed himself for not only his many financial misfortunes, but also the death of his

grandmother, "If only I had pushed through the storm..." he had said. Not only was his blame severely

misplaced, but he never forgave himself.

2. Based on his past (the way he perceived it), he was destined to live a life full of hardships and

turmoil. He wholeheartedly believed that he deserved what was happening in his life, and worst yet,

expected no better. His limited belief systems both confined and shaped him, thus his perceived

"curse."

3. Bob, was beholden to deep-seeded conflicts that ensured his business ventures would fail. On a

subconscious level Bob's relationship with considerable wealth had an negative overtone that carried

7/29/2019 Success Secrets, Beliefs and the Power of the Past

2/2

into his adult life, so while Bob wanted to increase his wealth on a "conscious" level, the power of the

negative association of wealth in his subconscious continually sabotaged him.

Our lives are filled with choices and it is those "choices" that will shape who we are and what is we

will accomplish. If we choose to let the burdens of our past influence our current decisions, our future

will remain undoubtedly dim. If we "expect" only the worst in life - the universe, without fail, will

deliver. If we are unable to forgive, then we have only hindered our own growth. If you lack the abilityto believe, to believe with unwavering emotional intent, then you will definitely fail. Always, be on the

lookout for those inner conflicts that will derail you. It has been said many times that "We are what we

believe we are." And, yes there are many factors that play into that, both culturally and economically,

but for those of us fortunate enough to live during this time period of great scientific and cultural

advances, in the greatest Nation on earth... what's our excuse? It is our duty, to find our purpose,

believe in it, experience it and utilize it to better the world in which we live.

Bob did eventually break the cycle, and is no longer the victim of misplaced blame and an ill conceived

belief system. His two year old real estate business generates revenues in excess of $5 Million dollars

annually, and his focus has shifted from the hardships of the past to the blessings of today and his

hopes for the future.

I'll end this blog with a quote from a star that embodies a system of "self belief" second to none...

"Why be realistic? Being realistic is the most common traveled road to mediocrity. Why

would you be realistic? It just seems like such a ridiculous idea to me to embrace the idea

that, 'its not going to happen' or 'that its not real' because as soon as you say it, you

made it real."

Will Smith

Take time to reflect on your past and learn from it, absorb what is useful and discard the rest. Broodover it, and it will surely stifle you.

Anthony Sparks, Mind Propel

http://www.mindpropel.com/http://www.mindpropel.com/http://www.mindpropel.com/