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report: Ben Renshaw

Its official. We are now working longer hours than any other countryin Europe. A recent survey by the Department of Trade and Industrys(DTI) Work-Life Balance Campaign and Management Today magazine,paints a poor picture of working conditions in the United Kingdom. An

increasing number of employees are working more than 60 hours a week,including one in every eight women - more than double the number ofwomen doing so in 2000. As a nation of workaholics, stress has becomethe norm. If were not stressed we can start to wonder what is wrong with us!However it is not possible to sustain success when stressed; eventually yourperformance will suffer.

symptomsLets take a closer look at stress. The clinical definition for stress is whenpressure exceeds our perceived ability to cope. It is different from pressure.Pressure can be energising. It motivates us to do things, we can enjoy racingto the finish line. If you experience more than three of the following thoughts,behaviours or feelings you are probably feeling a bit stressed.

Increased alcohol or caffeine consumption

Anxious

Low

Unable to concentrate

Out of control

Irritable comfort eating

Reduced work performance

Accident proneness

Disturbed sleep patterns

Tension headaches

Indigestion

Skin complaints

Rapid weight change

If you do find yourself auditioning for a part in High Anxiety take the followingseven steps:

stress is an invitation to change somethingIts time to ring the changes. Stress is like a red light that appears on thedashboard of your car. It is a signal telling you that you are running on emptyand are out of balance. Whenever you are feeling stressed, recognise thatyour body is telling you to make a change for the better. If you do not takeaction, you will receive louder and more frequent signals. Recognise stress asa sign that your work-life balance is under threat use it as an impetus to act.

your lifeproof

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success with stress startswith inner listeningListen to your stress; dont block it.What is your stress trying to tell you?Are you working too many hours?Are you not giving yourself enoughrest? Are you over-worrying? Listenfor information. What is your stresstrying to teach you? Be ready tolearn something. How is your stresstrying to help you? Be open toreceive a great gift. It pays to listenfast because otherwise themessages just get bigger andlouder. Schedule some quiet timeto listen carefully to the symptomsthat youre experiencing.

ask for helpAt The Happiness Project we have asaying: If you are alive you needhelp! Asking for help is a sign ofstrength, not weakness. You win noextra points for not asking for help. Infact, all you get is extra struggle,extra pain, extra burden and extrastress all unnecessary. Living solo,without help, is pride before a fall. Itis not wise or clever. On your ownyou are destined to mountain-climbover molehills and never reach yourtrue peak. Without help, is it youagainst the world when it could be you and the world. Make sure youask someone you trust and respectfor that extra support now.

discover the fearStress always operates with its accomplice fear! The trouble with fearis that its frightening! This is even more the case if you refuse to look atit. Fear plays tricks on your mind. It will dress you up as a victim of theworld. Yet you are not a victim. Through taking responsibility for yourselfyou transform your experience of the world. The world becomes yourfriend and you can relax. The most important thing to remember aboutfear is that it is yesterday. It is always referencing the past. Forexample, I have coached financially well-off people who habituallyoverwork, not because they need to but because they once had nowork, or because they grew up poor. Discover the fear that is drivingyour stress. Is the fear a fact or is it False Evidence Appearing Real?

take actionA colleague once said, The universe rewards action. There is nodoubt that once we start taking action to stress-proof ourselves, it hasa ripple effect. We begin to feel in control of our lives again. We startto see things with a fresh perspective. Our energy and zest for livingreturns. The key to taking action is to start small. When stressed itstempting to try and change the whole of our lives, which simply leavesus paralysed again. A good question to ask yourself is, What is thenext step to take that will make a measurable difference to my stresslevels? Write it down. When are you going to do it? Decide a definitetime and then act.

relax, relax, relaxIts a crazy business. I know that when I relax I handle stress well. Thetrouble is that when Im stressed, relaxation is the hardest thing to do!We must find a way. This is the beauty of exercise, which I dont needto tell you about. As you know, when we do regular exercise it trulymakes a difference. But you have to listen to your body. If youreexhausted then maybe its going to be more beneficial to rest, ratherthan workout. The one technique always available to help you relax isrelaxed breathing. A normal, healthy breathing pattern tends to falterand collapse at the sight of stress, so learning how to control yourbreath is very often the first step towards successful stress proofing.Try the following exercise to enjoy calm breathing within 60 seconds: Breathe deeply (use the bottom part of your lungs) Breathe slowly (6-8 breaths a minute) Listen to the sound of your breath as you inhale the air coming in

through your nose Listen to the sound of your breath as you exhale the air coming out

through your mouth Repeat for 60 seconds

have funWoody Allen once said, Most of the time I have no fun, the rest of thetime I have no fun at all! Fun is probably the last thing on your mindwhen youre stressed but bringing back the fun helps you to see stressdifferently and to conjure up solutions. The traditional response tostress is fight or flight. By choosing the fight option you may decide totackle the stress head on and try and go the full 15 rounds. Often thisoption involves working even more hours to combat the stress, whichcan only compound the problem. Opt for the flight option and youdecide to remove yourself from the stress. Taking a long haul flight andstaying on a desert island may seem appealing but wont deal with thereal cause. Choose the frolic option and let fun back into your life.Meet up with good friends. Rent your favourite funny movie. Play somesport just for the fun of it. Have a massage. Do whatever makes youfeel good to be alive again!

Ben Renshaw, is an inspirational speaker, success coach and author. For further informationabout The Happiness Project courses and for his new book Balancing Work & Life visitwww.happiness.co.uk or call 01865 244414.

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