stress prevention in 6 steps -...

S T E P 3 A P P R A I S E : C O G N I T I V E R E S T R U C T U R I N G

Stress Prevention in 6 Steps

6 steps overview

1. Assess: Raising Awareness

2. Avoid: Unnecessary stress; problem solving

3. Appraise Cognitive Restructuring

4. Accept: Mindfulness

5. Activate: Building resilience

6. Attune: Social Support: using emotional intelligence skills

Introduction

This program is built on a surprising premise...

Most people believe that stress is the result of outside forces they can’t control.

But in truth, a surprising amount of stress, maybe the #1 source of our stress is…

Survey says:

Our own thinking.

Albert Ellis Quote: Mankind is the only animal that can think about his thinking.

Cognitive Restructuring: Changing the way you think about Stress

Define cognitive restructuring

Talk about your stress.

Stress mediators

A+B=C equation

Five methods for changing your thinking during a stressful situation

Using this approach to manage your stress

Most people believe that events & circumstances cause stress

Hans Selye, defined stress as: your body’s reaction to demands placed on it.

It’s not so much what happens to you but how you take it.

Definition of Cognitive Restructuring

Cognitive = Thinking, knowing; relating to your perception.

Restructuring= Reorganizing, rebuilding or changing.

Cognitive Restructuring = Reorganizing the way you perceive the world. (syn.) reframing.

Or: Changing the way you think during a stressful situation

The origins of Cognitive Therapy

• Developed by Dr. Albert Ellis and Dr. Aaron Beck

• Ellis and Beck focused on a patient’s conscious thoughts.

Dr. Albert Ellis

Dr. Aaron Beck

These ideas have been around for over 2000 years:

Epictetus: “People are not disturbed by things but by the views they take of them.

Marcus Aurelius: “If you are pained by any external thing, it is not this thing that disturbs you, but your own judgement about it.”

Shakespeare: “There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.”

What’s your stress?

Make a list

The difference between stress and stressors

Is there a stressor that someone isn’t bothered by?

List of stressors

Traffic jam Flat tire Meetings Difficult boss Deadlines Multiple bosses Angry customers Sick children Snow Losing things Arguments Car repairs Money issues College costs

Stress mediators

Stressors

Stress Sensitivity

Sense of Control

Cognitive Defenses

Physical Coping

Stress You Experience

Introduce next slide

How can we improve our cognitive defenses?

Do the hokee pokee.

Mind is constantly running an inner dialog

This is a stupid idea

Do we have to do this?

Who’s idea was it to hire this guy?

What could we possibly learn from doing the hokee pokee?

I’m going to talk to Turney at lunch about this guy

This inner dialog goes on about EVERYTHING we do

Internal dialogue and negative self-talk

• We are constantly running a play by play commentary or what Plato called an “internal dialogue” inside our own heads that comments on the success, value, viability, truth, ease and difficulty of every single activity we engage in. A lot of this is negative…

• Psychologists call this: Negative self-talk

Negative self-talk

• This situation is completely hopeless.

• Why does this stuff always happen to me?

• I’ll never get this project finished on time.

Internal Dialog

Can anyone guess what you might say to yourself the first time you try something new like skiing, or learning some new technology or acting in a play?

Now imagine what your internal dialogue would be like if you made a mistake.

Negative self-talk

We have hundreds of negative thoughts a day

It even includes negative self-talk about ourselves.

I’ll never amount to anything.

I’m a complete failure

I’m a terrible parent.

So how do we stop it?

I’m going to make a fool

of myself

• The Activating event

• Plus Belief

• Equals the Consequence

A+B=C

A+B=C

Flat tire is A

Belief about tire is B

How you feel inside is C

A+B=C

Same A +

Different B

Whole different C

Most People believe that A=C

That a flat tire, a lost set of car keys, a traffic jam and an angry boss automatically equals stress.

But now you realize that you have a choice.

That you CHOOSE how you want to think at B.

A+B=C

Introducing the letter D

D stands for dispute or disputing your overly negative thinking.

Where you exaggerate

A+B=C

How to change your thinking at point B

Become aware of your negative self-talk

Talk back to your negative thinking

Keep your stress in perspective

Shift your focus forward

Avoid the blame game

Practice being grateful

Cognitive defenses

Talk back to your negative thinking;

Disputing

Listen for the words always or never

Notice what isn’t true

Cognitive Defenses

Keep Your Stress in Perspective

Will you even remember this in a week?

Think of it on a scale of 1-100

At the end of the day, come back and solve your problem the next morning when you are fresh.

Cognitive Defenses

Shift your focus forward

When we’re stressed we’re problem-oriented

We lose our creative problem-solving ability when we’re stressed

Say to your self: How can I solve this problem

Cognitive Defenses

Avoid the blame game.

When you blame other people for the bad things that happen to you hand over responsibility for fixing it to someone else

Taking responsibility gets your control back.

Cognitive Defenses

Practice Gratefulness

Make a list of what you have to be grateful for.

Treat other people well

Make a point of thanking anyone for any thing.

A+B=C

• The Activating Event + your Beliefs = the Consequence

• An A+B=C sequence:

– Choose an A from the list

– Your Irrational Belief:

– The Consequence of A+B

– What’s your D?

• The Activating Event + your Beliefs = the Consequence

• An A+B=C sequence:

– Choose an A from the list

– Your Irrational Belief:

– The Consequence of A+B

– What’s your D?

A+B=C

All our opportunity for personal growth lies in the small space between stimulus and response.

Stephen Covey

A=Stimulus

C=Response

B is the small space.

Simply recognizing you’re A’s will open up space at B

The difference between CR and positive thinking

Positive thinking puts a positive spin on a negative event

CR only asks you to eliminate overly negative thinking

CR focuses on the truth - never sugar coating bad things.

15%

10%

15%30%

10%

10%

7%

3%

Minor annoyances

you probably

won’t remember

the next day.

Worry-based

stress that will

probably never

happen.

Anger-

based

stress that

is already

over – but

you’re still

holding on

to.

A

perception

problem.Wouldn’t have

occurred if

you’d allowed

more time.

Garden variety

problems requiring

a solution.

Second hand stress

that belongs to

someone else.

Real stress you have to cope with

3%

Copyright 2006 James E. Porter

Review:

Stress Mediators

Negative self-talk

A+B=C

D stands for dispute

Stress mediators

Stressors

Stress Sensitivity

Sense of Control

Cognitive Defenses

Physical Coping

Stress You Experience

Negative self-talk We have hundreds of negative thoughts a

day

Internal dialog comments on everything

I can’t stand it. It’s too difficult. This stinks. This is stupid

Who is this guy and why did I come to this stupid program?

Doing the Math is

a stupid idea

A+B=C

The Activating Event + your Beliefs = the Consequence

An A+B=C sequence:

A flat tire is an A

Your belief that flat tires are awful is B.

Kicking the tire in frustration is C

Most people are unaware of B; that A=C


To A+B=C, Ellis added: D

You can talk back to your negative thoughts and Dispute them.

You can choose how you want to think and react.

Things upset me.

I upset myself.

Change the way you think about stress.

Keep your stress in perspective

Contact info

A+B=C


An A+B=C sequence:

Being criticized by your boss is A

Your Negative Beliefs:

The Consequence of A+B

A+B=C


An A+B=C sequence:

Getting passed over for a promotion is A

Your Negative Beliefs:

The Consequence of A+B


To A+B=C, Ellis added: D

You can talk back to your negative thoughts and Dispute them

stress prevention in 6 steps -...

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