stop whining start winning 21

8/11/2019 Stop Whining Start Winning 21

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by Karl Bimshas

Stop WhiningStart Winning

in 21 Days or Less


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2010 by Karl Bimshas Copyright holder is licensing this under the CreativeCommons License, Attribution 3.0.http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/us/

Photos from iStock.com and private collection.

The Stop Whining and Start Winning in 21 Days or Less program derives fromthe book How to Stay When You Want to Quit; Re-scripting your life fromwhiner to winner and is available at Amazon.com

Published by BimMedia, San Diego California

Feel free to post this on your blog or email it towhomever you believe would benefit fromreading it.

Thank you.
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Why We Whine and How We can Win...FAST

Have you noticed that there are a lot of whiners in the world?Some people whine about the economy, the government, theNFL, their own ill-conceived New Years resolutions, theirfaltering relationships, or their job.

Whine, whine, whine.

Do you whine? Yeah, you probably do, or you wouldnt bereading this.

Over the next 21 days Im going to help you move from awhiner to a winner.

Key pieces of this guide have been adapted from my book, How toStay When you Want to Quit; Re-scripting your life from whiner to winner.

For the next 21 days,or faster if youre an overachiever, I will pose questions, exercisesand thought starters aimed at helping you get over yourself and get working on somethingproductive.

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Too harsh?Not for you? Then tell a friend or someone you love whos been goingthrough a tough time to check out this guide because Im confident theyll get something

from it that will help them stop their whining. Truly, so will you, even if you dont want toadmit it right now.

I guarantee theres something going on in your life that youve beenwhining about.

So how bout you cut it out.

Its time to make things better.

As you work your way through the next 21 days youll find ideas that you can apply tovirtually any job and any position in any organization.

I use the word organizationthroughout this guide. You can substitute company, family, group, posse, whatever works

for you.

Good luck and have fun on this journey. You are about to take control of your approachand attitude toward life.

Lets get going!

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Day 1 - Where are you now?

Imagine youve just finished a day of work

1. How are you feeling right now?

2. When you look in the mirror, describe whom you see.

3. What do you think you sounded like to people who may have overheard yourconversations today?

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4. Is your job fun? Why or Why not?

5. Whats changed from the first day you started your job? (Was it your job thatchanged, or you?)

6. What if neither you nor your job changed? Would you be happy to keep doingwhat youre doing now for the next five years? (If no, you must learn to recognize,respond and thrive with change.)

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7. Do you have a sense of purpose in what you do? Why or Why not? (If you do havea sense of purpose, what is it? Are you living on purpose?)

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Day 2 - Come on, Get Happy

Look outside your work.Is there anythingmaking you happy?

Find something that has nothing to do with your presentcondition.Look for a diversion, something different that gets youup and going, gets you excited.

Wouldnt it be cool to feel excited or passionate about something?

List three things that currently make you happy.

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1)

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Day 3 - Defending Your Happy Place

If youve given it some thought and paid close attention toyour emotions, youll eventually find your happy place.This place or thing is going to become a major touchstonefor you.

It is going to be able to bring a smile across thatsourpuss face of yours. Youre going to do yourdaydreaming about this place.It will spur you into actionand ultimately get you through the day.

Your sanctuary may be as large as your home or perhapsits a favorite seat at the local coffee shop.It might be astretch of beach or a particular bench in the park. If youhavent identified it yet now is the time to find your happyplace, your peaceful spot, somewhere to contemplate life.

It might not be a concrete place for you.It might be time. Time spent with family andfriends, or reading a book or painting.Either way itll fill a spot in your heart and youllneed to nurture it with strong love, time and appreciation.

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Know your happy place, its there youll find a sense of peace, happiness and excitement.Thats why you need to nurture it, to make it strong enough to defend itself in your

absence.

What or where is your happy place?

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Day 4 - So, You Wanna Be A Star

Sometimes you come across people who feel that what theyredoing is just a job.They dont feel like they get enough and theyeven think theyre owed something.Their job is a mismatch forthem. The person should go away because they bring Low Valueto the team.

They are a Greatness Inhibitor.

Some people wish things could be better. They may not love what

theyre doing, but it pays the bills and they at least have someambition. Theyve had moments of greatness and liked how it felt.These people shouldplace themselves where they can make the greatest contribution, because right now

theyre of Moderate Valueto the team, but they arePotential Stars.

To make dramatic improvements, start hanging out around the people who seepossibility. They often problem-solve away from work and have a mutual feeling that theirjob enriches a part of their life and part of their life enriches the job. Begin to imitatethem because they are rare; they are the leaders. They feel obligated to continue toperform and enrich themselves and others.

They are Highly Valued Stars.

Review the Value Matrixbelow.Which one best describes where you are today? Whatare you going to do to progress through the Value Matrix to ensure you stay or become ahighly valuable star?

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Day 5 - Complaining is Fun

We all like to tell people how weve beenwronged. And if we havent been wrongedbadly enough we like to embellish it a little soeveryone knows the pain we are feeling.

Its avictim mentality that gives us needed attention.

Think about it.When you hear other people

complain about their situation, dont you thinkof all the alternatives that person could havedone to avoid their pain? Dont you think, evenif just briefly, that they sound like a patheticloser?

What do you regularly complain about?

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When you feel lost and act like youre floundering there may be somedays you feel likeall the smart people have left your organization. Actually, the smart people have modifiedtheir attitudes to match their new circumstances.

Can you identify them?

Are they inyour circle?

They need to be.

They can be the lifeline that stops you from sinking anyfurther.

Who are these people?Try to identify five.

How are you going to spend more time with each of them?

Make the time now to plan your approach using the log below.

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Day 6 - Beware the Three Donkey Day

Believe it or not, people are generally good. Very few wakeup each morning and commit to screwing you in some way.You need to beware the Three Donkey Day.

If during thecourse of your day you find yourself encountering threeseparate people you feel are complete donkeys, then its

probably you who is being the ass. Take a deep breath andkeep your mouth shut before you make a bigger fool ofyourself than you already have.

When was the last time you came across three donkeys?

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Reflecting back on that day, who was the biggest donkey? (If it wasnt you, you maywant to think again or ask someone who was with you.)

Knowing what you now know, what will you do different in the future?

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Day 7 - Dont Blame It On Burnout When Youre

the Arsonist

You may think youre burnt out, but dont blame it onburnout when youre the arsonist. When you moan andgroan to the people who are putting up with you and all yourcrap and say youre feeling burnt out, it ticks them offbecause its a load of garbage. As a human being you are

capable of sustaining a lot of realpain and hardship.

Youre blessed with a brain that has the capacity to solvealmost any problem set before it.You are just being lazy. Youdont want to hear it but at its core its true.

Sure its hard.

Its like a bowl of leftover food you come across in the refrigerator.

Maybeyou dont like what you see, but you need to do something with it.

Youve got choices.

1. You can try to change it into something more palatable.2. You can choose to ignore it for a little while anyway.3. You can choose to get rid of it.

Move on and find something else.

The same applies to you and your job.

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Which do you choose?

Change It

Ignore It

Get Rid of It

Maybe youre frustrated.

Sometimes its hard to get motivated to do anything. People areintrinsically motivated by one or more of three things.

1. Personal growth and development,

2. Enhancing an important relationship,3. Working on something bigger than ourselves and leaving a legacy.

What motivates you?

Personal Growth

Important Relationships

Legacy

If you need to get better control of your attitude, surrounding yourself with positivepeople is an obvious start.

Each morning its up to you.

You can wake up, drag yourselfout of bed, look out the window and say, Good Lord, its morning or you can hop up,take a deep breath and say, Good morning Lord.

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Day 8 - Making a Positive Difference

As you begin to realize what it was that you had wantedto do in the first place, you may feel a growingfrustration.

Perhaps you feel that the people around youare not moving fast enough.

Theyre not making thesame self-discoveries that you are and it is beginning totick you off.

By now you should be convinced that if you continue tobehave in the same glum manner you have been acting,you will build momentum and speed toward a much-deserved outcome. Unfortunately, that outcome willprobably not be a positive one. Youre not doomed, butyou need to change your approach toward the peopleyou work with and it doesnt have to be complicated.

As a start, in true servant-leadership fashion, you shouldbegin to ask others,What one thing can I do for youthat will most help you make a positive difference?

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You see, you probably owe your coworkers more than youve been giving them. Youshould ask a few questions of yourself first.Once you know your own answers beginasking the same of your coworkers one on one.

Honestly answering these questions willcreate a positive and proactive buzz, the likes of which you probably have not seen inquite a long time.

With that newfound energy you can then direct the momentum that will give you fargreater odds of reaching a satisfying destination.

In this activity your leadership not your management, is crucial.It is important to reflecton some biblical wisdom that the shepherd is there for the flock, not the other wayaround.

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Day 9 -Why Are You Still Here?

Ask yourself, Why am I still here?Keepprobing until one or more of the three intrinsicmotivators are revealed.

For Personal Development.

Because of enriching experiences with

others.

To work on leaving a legacy.

Why are you still here?

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In which of these areas do you feel you could make the greatest positive impact?

Customer Satisfaction

Employee Satisfaction

Profit Revenue Growth

Now, review all the choices that you made and answer the question, What am I goingto do tomorrow to get started?

Review your answers. Find linkages and hold yourself to your commitments.

Be open tothe answers and make it your mission to respond to the requests of anyone brave enoughto provide you with honest feedback.

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Day 10 - Fix Whats Wrong

It takes true commitment to change.Doing it even if its hard or youdont feellike it.The world is filledwith enough poor leaders whonegatively affect the lives of otherpeople. You must keep your

commitments to others at all costs.

This is about responsibility andapplies to anyone who has formal orinformal influence over a team ofpeople.As a leader, people dependon you.

Anyone you come in contact

with you affect or influence in some way.

If you are not totally and completely there,you cannot protect your people from downsizing or a corporate initiative that everyoneknows is foolhardy. Unless you exert a positive influences, these changes, will fester andresentment will grow and that would be catastrophic.

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Do not let it happen!Protect your people by any means required. Focus on improvingtheir jobs, outlook, and life. If youre lucky youll feel better about yourself too. If not,well at least youre not the dead weight dragging everyone else down.

You might be so completely apathetic as to have adopted the, So what, I dont care,what difference does it make? attitude. That might be one of your problems. Itsimportant that you find something to start to care about. To know that you can make adifference and in fact its your human responsibility.

When something is wrong and you know its wrong or there is a direct or indirect assaultto your values, beliefs, mission, goals or people, you need to fight back.Do what is righteven if its not correct.

Find a role make a difference.

Dont complain express.

Take astand.

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Day 11 - Check Your Vision

If youve been doing the recommended exercises to this point,youve probably been hitting some emotions you didnt knowyou still had and hopefully its been challenging and invigoratingto you.

Hold on to that because you need to pay attention tothose feelings and fight for what you need.

Lobby for change.

Be brave and run to things not away fromthem. Operate from a position of inner strength not externalweakness.

You are better than the problem that is set before you.

If youre still here working through this, you must care and truly want to make adifference. Good for you! Now, can you define it?What is the difference you truly wantto make?You wont have to try hard; the answer is sitting right on the surface. Something

is spurring you on. Theres a vision you have that is aching to be realized.

Now is thetime to breathe some new life into it.

What lofty ideal do you want to achieve?Dont be put off by other peoples definition oflofty.

Your vision has to be seen through your eyes first.

Make it a good one.

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Write down or draw your vision or picture of success.

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Day 12 - Crumbs and Spilled Drinks

When people ask, How are you?dont mumble,Fine. When they ask, Can I do anything to help?dont say, No. Seek and ye shall find, ask and ye shallreceive.

Very little will drop in your lap.

Come to think of it, thethings that normally drop in peoples laps are crumbsand spilled drinks and the answers to your challengesarent in that!

Begin to tell people forcefully, calmly, professionally what you need them to do, so youcan do your job.

Let them know if they cant provide excellence, it will be difficult for

you to deliver excellence.

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Day 13 - Ask for Help

It may be time to start looking for something new tapthe network.Ask for help.People like helping peoplereach their goals.Know your goal.

Goals are easy to find.

What things do you do at workthat you enjoy?

Working with people?

Creating

presentations?

Analyzing data?

Every time you find thatpassion, pay attention to yourself and see what yourespond to.

Spend more time doing that. Can youdescribe how it feels?

Probably pretty darn good.

Enjoy it.

Relish it.

Do everything you can to repeat it.

Ignore,delegate or trade the rest if you can because its the passion-inducing moments that aregoing to bring you happiness and personal success.People like to follow leaders who arepassionate and competent so keep working on your skills and your strengths.

Dont get lazy.Know your strengths.Dig up any number of personal assessments or askfive people who you interact with daily what they think your strengths are.Look forthemes that are repeated and begin to focus on those things.Refine your strengths.Let theothers atrophy you werent built to do them anyway so dont worry about them.

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Day 14 - Find the Upside

Make sure your network is not the only thingworking. The fish dont always bite; the balldoes not always go through the hoop. Changingyour attitude takes effort too. Whats going on inyour world that you can use to your benefit?

Act like the boy who walked into a room full ofhorse manure.While his father grimaced andplugged his nose, the cheery boy excitedlyproclaimed, Theres got to be a pony in heresomewhere.

So get optimistic and turn everything into an upside.Make a game of it.When you do, a

boring training class becomes a test of endurance.

Got a thick new policy manual toread?

Time to practice speed-reading.

Youre a champion problem solver!

Keep a log ofthe problems you successfully solve each day.Track and improve your average.Measureprogress.

You need to make time for yourself.

Take a break from the madness.

If you can, get awayfor a while, even if its just for an afternoon or a lunch hour.

Get away from your job and

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work on something else.Anything.Make the best grocery list the world has ever seen.Wax your car.Clean your closet.Play. Go buy a set of Lego Bricks and build something.

Just make sure youre active and that youre engaging as many of your senses as youcan.Sitting on the couch with a pint of ice cream watching reruns of Friends does notcount.You need to move your mind, body and heart. When youre done, there needs tobe something you can look at with a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.Go doit.

Then answer the question below.

What did you do that moved your mind, body and heart?

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Day 15 - What Do You Want?

Take an inventory of what it is you want.It is readilyavailable or do you have to go someplace else for it?Would you?

Maybe youve gotten comfortable with all your

complaining. People seem to be giving you pity andyouve been playing a great victim.Keep it up and youcould keep doing what youve been doing until you retireor die, whichever comes first.

But thats no way to live, so how about spending sometime working on you?What do you want to do with

yourself? Youve got to have a clue. Reach back into yourchildhood if you need to.

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What did you want to be when you grew up?Why?

Examine that in todays context. Is it still appealing?

If not, why not? If yes, then why theheck arent you doing it now?

Think of yourself as an actor on a television show.

You want to contribute toward gettinghigh ratings each week so the show avoids cancellation; you want to get renewed eachseason.So, you act and perform in a way that leads to the shows success and you

eventually earn awards.

Remember, you want to be a Highly Valued Star, not a GreatnessInhibitor.

Go ahead; list your ten best excuses for not pursuing your dreams.

Write them down.

Prioritize them just like you would your goals.Next, problem-solve them.Get rid of thebarriers.Those SOBs are keeping you from your dream.

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Day 16 - Review Where Weve Been

Lets take a moment to review whereweve been and notice how far youvealready progressed. The first thing youneeded to do was acknowledge andhonor the change that was occurringaround you.You had to figure out howyou were going to deal with itand learn

how toget happy.

Once you identifiedthat, you had to be prepared to defendand protect the things that made youhappy.

Next, you needed to beware of the Three Donkey Day.You learned that it was foolish toblame what you were going through on burnout when you were acting like an arsonist.

You had a choice.

You could change, ignore things for a little while, or move on, but youhad to do something.

You rediscovered what motivates you and remembered the wayyou felt when you first got your job and why you wanted it in the first place. And that itwas up to you to choose your attitude and approach.

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You needed to become less selfish so you began asking people, What one thing can I dofor you that will most help you make a positive difference? If you found people werebeing negative you started to challenge them, asking them why they were still doing what

they were doing. You figured out your learning styleand began to identify in yourself, andothers the places where you could begin to make the most positive impact; in customersatisfaction, employee satisfaction or profitable revenue growth.You knew that talkingabout it was a good start, but not enough, so you built weekly action plans around eachgoal. You know its crucial to set goals with measurements and timelines, accomplishingthem without that is more luck than effort.

You learned that you needed toprotect your peopleat all costs. To improve their jobs,their outlook and in fact, their lives was one of your key roles.

Youve learned to run tothings not away from things.

You now understand that its better to operate from aposition of strength not weakness as you continue to identify your vision.It makes sensethat people like to follow people who are passionate and competent and because of thatyoucontinuously refine your strengths.

It wasnt easy.

You had to consciously get optimistic and turn everything into an upside.

You trained yourself to find the pony in nearly every situation.It helped a lot to list yourten best excuses for not doing something to see how foolish you were truly acting.

Now youre ready to learn about The Four Musts.

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Day 17 - Strong and Pervasive Leadership

The Four Mustsare the things every organization, family orteam need for optimal performance.Now that youre a winneryour role is to act as curator for each of the musts. The firstmust is about a leadership.

There must be a strong leader and strong, pervasiveleadership.

Charisma is not leadership, although it can act as a helpful toolto quickly gain the acceptance of an audience.Effectiveleaders share a passion for and a record of accomplishments.

Strong leadership is demonstrated daily by a person or a group of people who are honest,

forthright, markedly visible and approachable.

Leaders fulfill their insatiable need to be out in front regularly.

When not actually walkingon the front lines then they talk with people who work there, both in town hallmeetings and in one-on-one settings. They remember that just as the shepherd is there forthe benefit of the flock, leadership is there to serve the people and they take thatresponsibility seriously.

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Do you have a passion for a record of accomplishment?

What are your top three accomplishments?

1)

2)

3)

How often do you talk to people who are on the front lines of your organization?

Its one thing to talk like a leader quite another to act like one.

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Day 18 - The Vision Thing

The organization must have a repeatablecompelling vision and sense of purpose.

If possible it should be a clear and concisesingularvision. Every activity that theorganization tackles must be able to foster a

closer linkage to that compelling vision. Itmust be memorable and easily repeatable sothat every message, action and strategysupports the purpose with their obviousconnections.

The clarity of the vision should be worded and promoted in a way that others can

understand, support, be excited by, grow some passion around, and be inventive indiscovering numerous ways to achieve that purpose. Too often people spend too muchtime and energy trying to create a literary masterpiece instead of a clear, easy to followand understand vision. Its a terrible waste of resources.

Leadership is about inspiring people not tiring people and putting them to sleep.

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Does your organization have a repeatable compelling vision and sense of purpose? (If itdoes, what is it?)

Does it excite you or anyone else?

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Day 19 - Overwhelming Optimism

There must be a sense of overwhelming optimism.

The compelling vision is not only the day to day, hereswhat we need to do and why,but the over arching, here

is our place on earth, heres our legacy, heres the goodthat we wish to do. Living that is what creates a legacy.Knowing that is what helps create positivism.

That positive approach has to be all-encompassing.

Tolerance of rampant apathy or negativism is a weakness.If optimism is not visible in practice, alarms shouldsound and priority given to overcoming whatever theobstruction may be.

This does not forego the crucial role of devils advocate and challenging viewpoints but to leave negative feelings or remarks unchecked, even in the simplest day to daytransactions, is to enable the contagion.Counter the virus with positive encouragementand recognition. You dont want to be a Pollyanna with everything that can be just asdangerous.

But negativity is an acid that corrodes everything. It must be neutralized.

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Are you more optimistic now than before you started this program?

How do you handle apathy or negativism when you encounter it?(What more couldyou do?)

How do you recognize those who are positive?

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Day 20 - Meaningful Recognition

There must be a regular diet of meaningful recognition.

Positive reinforcement, thanks and praise are the nutritionalcomponents of a healthy workforce, the helium that lifts theorganizational balloon to new heights. It is a currency thatmany organizations are afraid of spending yet its value canbe limitless.

Ignoring it, or withholding it until the perfect

moment, can result in at worst, a bankruptcy of humanpotential, and at best, leave people with a feeling ofemotional deficiency.

All people want to do a good job, regardless of whichmotivations they declare to be driven by; the rewards oflearning new experiences, enhancing important relationships

or legacy building. People will respond to those who noticewhat they have already contributed with an even greater performance.

Its amazing.

Many times people think about thanking people for a job well done butthinking is not the same as doing it. The best of intentions are still only intentions.Tomake an impact you must actually dosomething.

Make a plan and recognize people for the good things theyre doing.

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Day 21 - Final Thoughts

Here we are at Day 21!

For the last three weeks I posed a series of questions, exercises and thought starters aimedat helping you get over yourself andget working on something productive.

Im sure you found concepts that can apply to virtually any job and any position in anyorganization. Maybe it provided inspiration to begin moving your mind in a more positivedirection.

My intention of these last 21 days was to help inspire you to maximize your strengths andcontinuously improve yourself and your organizationby using the powers of vision,passion and action.I believe doing so can, in some way, help positively energize ournation and contribute to greater peace, prosperity, fun, understanding, responsibility andliberty in the world.

Now its up to you. Its time to put yourself back in the drivers seat of your career andyour life and begin pursuing the dreams, hopes, and aspirations that youve beenmoaning about all this time.

People believe in you.

I believe in you.

Now, believe inyourself and get to work.

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Share your comments, progress or tips on theReflections on Leadership blog, the Karl BimshasConsulting page on Facebook or on Twitter usingthe #whiner21 tag.

Heres where to learn more about Karl Bimshas Consultingand finding the a-ha within:

Email:[email protected]

Web: www.karlbimshas.com

Blog: www.reflectionsonleadership.com

Call: 619.717.6204

Write: Karl Bimshas Consulting

P.O. Box 83983

San Diego, CA 92138-3983

About the Author

Karl Bimshas is the author of several business andinspirational books and programs (available on amazon)designed for leaders and artists who want to achieve more.He owns an independent consultancy that helps professionalsdiscover the a-ha within themselves and their organizations.
http://amzn.to/BimBookshttp://amzn.to/BimBookshttp://www.reflectionsonleadership.com/http://www.reflectionsonleadership.com/http://www.karlbimshas.com/http://www.karlbimshas.com/mailto:[email protected]:[email protected]://twitter.com/karlbimshashttp://twitter.com/karlbimshashttp://twitter.com/karlbimshashttp://twitter.com/karlbimshashttp://www.facebook.com/KarlBimshasConsultinghttp://www.facebook.com/KarlBimshasConsultinghttp://www.facebook.com/KarlBimshasConsultinghttp://www.facebook.com/KarlBimshasConsultinghttp://www.reflectionsonleadership.com/http://www.reflectionsonleadership.com/

stop whining start winning 21

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