SOCIAL MEDIA AND TEENSParenting in a Digital World

Nanci Schiman, MSW, APSW

GOALS1. Gain insight into today’s GenZ/iGen generation.

2. Develop understanding of social media apps

3. Learn about adolescent brain development,

decision making and behavior

4. Gain tools for talking to our teens

5. Learn options for parenting and establishing family

guidelines

THE iGENS• Spending slightly less time on homework

•Waiting to get drivers license

• Dating less frequently

• Delayed physical sexual activity

• Increased parental monitoring

• Less likely to go out without parents

• Decline in entering workforce

• Less alcohol consumption

• Less conflict with parents

GOING OUT WITHOUT PARENTAL SUPERVISION

0

0.5

1

1.5

2

2.5

3

1976 1982 1988 1994 2000 2006 2014

12th Graders 10th graders 8th graders

# of times

per week

SUMMER EMPLOYMENT

16-19 year olds employed in July. # of hours worked/week has

declined from 15 in the 70’s to 9 in the current decade.

ALCOHOL USE

Percentage of 9 – 12th graders who have used alcohol in the past 30 days

CONFLICT BETWEEN TEENS AND PARENTS

Conflict = 3 or more fights/arguments between teen and parent over past year

HISTORY OF SOCIAL MEDIA

• 1980 – Compuserve introduced first online interaction

• Mid-1990’s – Yahoo, AOL, Amazon, Classmates, 6 Degrees

• 2001 – Wikipedia

• 2002 - Friendster

• 2003 – LinkedIn; MySpace

• 2004 – The Facebook (only for Harvard students)

• 2004 – Flickr for photo sharing

• 2005 - YouTube

• 2006 – Facebook; Twitter

• 2007 – Smartphone with touch screen/iPhone released

• 2010 – Instagram (purchased by Facebook in 2012)

• 2012 - Snapchat

US POPULATION USE OF SOCIAL MEDIA

PERCENTAGE OF TEENS USING SOCIAL MEDIA

POPULAR AMONG TEENS

PERCENTAGE OF TEENS WATCHING 3+ HOURS OF TV/DAY

TEENS AND VIDEO USAGE

TEENS AND MESSAGING APPS

APPS, APPS AND MORE APPSTHE BIG THREE

• Snapchat

• Instagram

• Twitter

TEXTING

• Standard phone

texting app

• Messaging through

Facebook, Snapchat

• WhatsApp; Kik;

GroupMe

VIDEO CHAT:

• Facetime

• Skype

• Messenger

• WhatsApp

CONCERNING APPS

AND BEHAVIORS

• Secret Apps

• Hide It Pro

(Audio Manager)

• Calculator% (ios)

• Burn Note

• Omegle (chat)

• Secret accounts

• Sexting

• Internet/gaming

addiction

TEXTING/VIDEO APPS

IMPACT OF SOCIAL MEDIA

PROS

• More connected

• Can teach social skills

• Integral part of 21st

century world

• Networking

• Pursing interests

• Positive support

CONS

• Cyberbullying

• Sexting

• Gaming Addiction

• Isolation/Depression

• Disrupted/limited sleep

• Limits communication skills

• Questionable/unsafe sites

THE TEENAGE BRAIN

The amygdala controls emotions –

fight or flight response. Highly

developed in teens. Contributes to

impulsivity. When parents ask “what

were you thinking??” . . . the reality is

often our teens weren’t!

Frontal cortex controls logic, decision

making. Isn’t fully developed until age

25. Insurance car rental companies

charge higher rates to those under 25.

Teens often act without the full benefit

of the frontal cortex.

SCREENAGERS: GROWING UP IN THE DIGITAL AGE

HTTPS://WWW.YOUTUBE.COM/WATCH?V=WCT5JCCXMPW (START AT 2:40)

FEELING LEFT OUT

Percentage of 10 graders who agree with ‘I often feel left out of things’.

Girls are more susceptible because of the way they engage in social media

DEPRESSION AMONG TEENS

Percentage of 12- to 17-year-olds experiencing a major depressive

episode in the last twelve months, by age group

SYMPTOMS OF DEPRESSION

Times per month 12th graders experience psychosomatic symptoms of

depression.

COMMUNICATING THE MILLENNIAL WAY

2 dimensional vs 3 dimensional communication. Texting and email takes away the 3rd

dimension of facial expression, body language, tone of voice. More open to

misinterpretation. Disinhibition to say things online that wouldn’t be said face to face.

TEEN VOICES

• What are kids saying?

• Don’t over do it or we’ll just close off

• Show that you trust us and we’ll be more honest with you

• Educate yourself about the issues that concern you

• Come from a place of caring rather than fear

• What are kids doing on social media?

• Connecting with friends and family

• Sharing pictures and information

• Creating digital memories

• Passing the time/relaxing

• Why do teens lie or withhold information?

• Privacy/Don’t want to share everything with parents

• Multiple accounts serve different purposes – not always negative

• Concern that parents will overreact/take away access to technology

HOW TO TALK TO YOUR TEEN

• Timing is everything; avoid HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired)

– bring your ‘A’ game to the discussion.

• Fact check your automatic thoughts. Are your fears real or

driven by your amygdala?

• What is your goal of the conversation? Information gathering,

sharing, alleviating concerns, venting?

• Ask open ended questions.

• LISTEN. Teens (and all of us) want to feel validated, respected.

• Build trust with your teen to increase honesty. Be a role model

by demonstrating honest behavior.

SETTING BOUNDARIES

• Parenting by the seat of our pants – can leave us prone to

reacting rather than responding, leveraging consequences that

we later change. Undermines our credibility.

• Set appropriate boundaries and clear, consistent

consequences. Let teens know in advance, follow through if

rules are broken.

• Reinforce positive behaviors! Catch your teen doing things

right.

• Network. It takes a village

• Know your motives. What do you want to achieve as an end

result?

• Every family is different. Every child is different. Fair is not

equal.

QUESTIONS