snow white man

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    Snow-White Man -script-

    Teacher: Bolcas Claudia

    Writers: Rus Bianca

    Cuc Andreea-Teodora

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    Denis Derecichei

    Class X-A

    Snow-White Man (writing a text message): We were supposed to

    meet three days ago. U didnt show up. Im starting to worry.

    (tearing the petals off a flower): She loves me; she loves me not.

    She loves me; she loves me not.

    Princess (text message): Sorry dude, couldnt make it. XOXO

    Rival(text message/facebook chat): Hi there, whats up?

    Princess(text message/facebook chat): Sorry, Im a little busy

    right now. Chat u later.

    All the dwarfs come walking towards SWM on Pink Panther

    theme song. They all start talking in the same time.

    Dwarf #1:My God, you have a foe!

    Dwarf #2: OMG, Armani just canceled their new spring

    collection.

    Dwarf #3: I have a test paper tomorrow.

    (Dwarf #4 says nothing, plain, straight face)

    Dwarf #5:LOL theres a guy hitting on your girl!

    (Dwarf #6 laughs)Dwarf #7 (after everyone stops talking, with a contemplative

    gaze): My hair looks pretty good today!

    3 paparazzi follow Dwarf #7 around

    SWM: Girls, girls! Slow down! No.4, tell me what just

    happened.

    Dwarf #4: Not in the most frightening dream you could have

    forseen this dark hour coming, for oh, fierce wolves are

    Dwarf #2 (stops her):Another guy is after your girl.SWM reacts weird, then goes to The Mirror.

    SWM: Mirror, mirror on the wall, whos the cutest of them all?

    The Mirror:Its about time you looked at yourself; look at that

    nasty beard of yous, you could most certainly use a shave. And to

    answer your question: Yes, for the moment you are the cutest of

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    them all, but theres one that, with you out of the way, could

    become the one.

    Rivals Father (on the phone):Fight him, son. With my help,

    you will find your way to your beloved princess heart. Heres

    what youll need: one leg of stinky frog, a red Deep Marshesworm, one moles eye, a rats tail.uhm the rest Ill get from E-

    bay and ship it to you by UPS Ground Service along with the

    instructions. Uhm... by the way, dont forget to buy your mommys

    monthly ration of poisoned ivy next time you come over.

    Rival (on the phone):Sure thing! Love you daddy. Bye!

    Narrator:Time is passing by, the potion is ready and so is The

    Rival; he knows where SWM will be today, and so, he acts

    quickly: he pours the potion in the Burger gravy that McDonaldssells.

    The Waitress: One dead meat dragged through the garden! Oh,

    sorry sir, what can I get you?

    SWM: 10 Big Mac menus with everything and a cherry on top,

    pretty please. (BIG smile)

    Narrator:But The Rival lacked patience and attacked

    SWM as soon as he got out of the fast-food.

    Music starts song: I feel pretty

    Narrator: Ooops, sorry! Yo, Dj, thats my playlist!

    Music starts again Mission Impossible theme song. The two

    fight, one of them hits a tree. Music stops.

    Tree: Dude, dont hit me, I have a soul. And by the way, just so

    you know, if it werent for me, youd all be dead right now!

    Music continues, and so does the fight. They both fall dead on

    the ground. The princess shows up and walks hasty and worried

    towards SWM.

    The Princess: Oh ,no! Youre dead. Maybe my sweet lips onyour cheek shall give you life once more. (She kisses him on the

    cheek ) Hmm, that didnt work.She slaps him while saying

    Wake up dude, wake up! ...(after not succeeding in waking him

    up) OK, now Im hungryShe eats and dies. SWM and The

    Rival wake up.

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    The Rival: Yo man, your blacksmith is worthless, I dont know

    how much you pay him but

    SWM (interrupts him): What? You talk about my sword, my

    blacksmith, you come into my hood and insult my family. What

    about your dad? Hes not even capable of preparing one efficientdeath potion. All he managed to do was to make us fall asleep.

    The Rival leans over to the princess and tries to wake her up.

    The Rival: Dude, I think she s dead eating that burger killed

    her, it must have been one too many.

    SWM:Wow, I can almost hear my mommys voice saying what

    she always used to say

    SWM Moms Voice: Sweety, how many times did I tell you?

    Eating junk food is bad for your health.The Rival: That is so cool! I just had the feeling I heard your

    moms voice. You know when I was a young girluhm boy and

    my mom used to shower meooops! Anyway, she used to tell me

    another thing

    The Rivals Moms voice: Sweety, how many times did I tell

    you? Do not mess with someone elses girlfriend

    Narrator: No tree has been injured during the making of this

    play. The stunts youve just witnessed have been performed byexperts. Do not try this at home!