snow white man
TRANSCRIPT
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Snow-White Man -script-
Teacher: Bolcas Claudia
Writers: Rus Bianca
Cuc Andreea-Teodora
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Denis Derecichei
Class X-A
Snow-White Man (writing a text message): We were supposed to
meet three days ago. U didnt show up. Im starting to worry.
(tearing the petals off a flower): She loves me; she loves me not.
She loves me; she loves me not.
Princess (text message): Sorry dude, couldnt make it. XOXO
Rival(text message/facebook chat): Hi there, whats up?
Princess(text message/facebook chat): Sorry, Im a little busy
right now. Chat u later.
All the dwarfs come walking towards SWM on Pink Panther
theme song. They all start talking in the same time.
Dwarf #1:My God, you have a foe!
Dwarf #2: OMG, Armani just canceled their new spring
collection.
Dwarf #3: I have a test paper tomorrow.
(Dwarf #4 says nothing, plain, straight face)
Dwarf #5:LOL theres a guy hitting on your girl!
(Dwarf #6 laughs)Dwarf #7 (after everyone stops talking, with a contemplative
gaze): My hair looks pretty good today!
3 paparazzi follow Dwarf #7 around
SWM: Girls, girls! Slow down! No.4, tell me what just
happened.
Dwarf #4: Not in the most frightening dream you could have
forseen this dark hour coming, for oh, fierce wolves are
Dwarf #2 (stops her):Another guy is after your girl.SWM reacts weird, then goes to The Mirror.
SWM: Mirror, mirror on the wall, whos the cutest of them all?
The Mirror:Its about time you looked at yourself; look at that
nasty beard of yous, you could most certainly use a shave. And to
answer your question: Yes, for the moment you are the cutest of
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them all, but theres one that, with you out of the way, could
become the one.
Rivals Father (on the phone):Fight him, son. With my help,
you will find your way to your beloved princess heart. Heres
what youll need: one leg of stinky frog, a red Deep Marshesworm, one moles eye, a rats tail.uhm the rest Ill get from E-
bay and ship it to you by UPS Ground Service along with the
instructions. Uhm... by the way, dont forget to buy your mommys
monthly ration of poisoned ivy next time you come over.
Rival (on the phone):Sure thing! Love you daddy. Bye!
Narrator:Time is passing by, the potion is ready and so is The
Rival; he knows where SWM will be today, and so, he acts
quickly: he pours the potion in the Burger gravy that McDonaldssells.
The Waitress: One dead meat dragged through the garden! Oh,
sorry sir, what can I get you?
SWM: 10 Big Mac menus with everything and a cherry on top,
pretty please. (BIG smile)
Narrator:But The Rival lacked patience and attacked
SWM as soon as he got out of the fast-food.
Music starts song: I feel pretty
Narrator: Ooops, sorry! Yo, Dj, thats my playlist!
Music starts again Mission Impossible theme song. The two
fight, one of them hits a tree. Music stops.
Tree: Dude, dont hit me, I have a soul. And by the way, just so
you know, if it werent for me, youd all be dead right now!
Music continues, and so does the fight. They both fall dead on
the ground. The princess shows up and walks hasty and worried
towards SWM.
The Princess: Oh ,no! Youre dead. Maybe my sweet lips onyour cheek shall give you life once more. (She kisses him on the
cheek ) Hmm, that didnt work.She slaps him while saying
Wake up dude, wake up! ...(after not succeeding in waking him
up) OK, now Im hungryShe eats and dies. SWM and The
Rival wake up.
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The Rival: Yo man, your blacksmith is worthless, I dont know
how much you pay him but
SWM (interrupts him): What? You talk about my sword, my
blacksmith, you come into my hood and insult my family. What
about your dad? Hes not even capable of preparing one efficientdeath potion. All he managed to do was to make us fall asleep.
The Rival leans over to the princess and tries to wake her up.
The Rival: Dude, I think she s dead eating that burger killed
her, it must have been one too many.
SWM:Wow, I can almost hear my mommys voice saying what
she always used to say
SWM Moms Voice: Sweety, how many times did I tell you?
Eating junk food is bad for your health.The Rival: That is so cool! I just had the feeling I heard your
moms voice. You know when I was a young girluhm boy and
my mom used to shower meooops! Anyway, she used to tell me
another thing
The Rivals Moms voice: Sweety, how many times did I tell
you? Do not mess with someone elses girlfriend
Narrator: No tree has been injured during the making of this
play. The stunts youve just witnessed have been performed byexperts. Do not try this at home!