Why listening to the voices and views of children and young people should be the basis for promoting their social and emotional competence.Sir Al Aynsley-Green Kt.

Professor Emeritus ,University College LondonFormer Children’s Commissioner for EnglandChair, Anglican Diocesan Board of EducationPatron, Childhood Bereavement Network

The death of a loved one – a devastating life experience challenging emotional resilience

• Harrowing stories• Enormous courage• Opportunity to meet• Ability to talk about and share grief• Understand they are not alone• Receive personalised support• Allow life to continue• It’s possible still to have fun• Successful role models despite tragedy

Winston’s Wish December 2009

Celebrating the memory of a loved one

Bereaved children today: death is the great taboo subject*

An under-recognised and often poorly managed issue

• ~20,000 children each year• A child experiences bereavement every 22 minutes

Who can they turn to?

The huge diversity of need

• Wide range of family structures, resilience and beliefs

• Range of ages – toddlers to adolescents• Expected death• Unexpected death• Violent death

A massive challenge to the design and delivery ofeffective support services

No one size fits all!

Cautionary notes• Crucial importance of not making bereavement a

pathological entity with a sense of failure• Many children and families cope well, but we

should not underestimate the overwhelming challenge

• ‘In many ways it is not so much who died and how and why, what really matters is the child’s attitude to the family death, how they make sense of it, and what story they tell to people they trust’

• 10-yr follow up of supported children show that they can and do grow up with a resilient mind set and achieve their full potential

BUT: overall, bereaved children • Visit primary care more• At risk for immediate and long term mental health

problems• Have low self esteem and may be bullied• Difficulty forming relationships• At risk for physical and sexual abuse• Teenage girls increased risk of pregnancy• More likely to misuse substances and commit serious

crime• More likely to be taken into care & excluded from

school• Underachieve

Where does this fit on your radar screen?

• ‘Nobody understands’• ‘I’ve got nobody to talk to’• ‘I get bullied at school and the teachers punish

me for not doing my homework on time’• ‘I really needed help when my mum died’

If families can’t help, who can they turn to?

Many young people tell us:

Death is a reality for every schoolDeath of a • Student• Teacher or other member of staff• Parent or family memberDeath can be• Expected• Unexpected• Violent or traumatic

Should schools be better prepared?

Essential resources

+ Knowledge of local support organisations

Let’s celebrate wonderful people

The Laura Centre, Leicester Helen and Douglas House, Oxford

Wonderful practices

The ‘Little Room’ Helen House

Penhaligon’s Friends

What do bereaved children need?

• Information and education on what death means

• Encourage to talk about how they feel • Understand and express their grief• Meet others and share experiences• Opportunities to remember• Access to support

What does this mean for schools & primary health care? – think adult think child!

Grief in childhood – a paradigm for emotional and mental resilience.

• Recognising that there is an issue• Getting facts• Listening to children and young people• Providing appropriate and accessible services• Adequate and auditable training• Underpinned by research• Effective political advocacy for resources The crucial need for someone to turn to!

Listening to grief in young people in prison

Lancaster FarmsWerringtonFeltham

Unresolved grief ++

A vision for the future: • In every locality children, young people and

families will know how to access expert support appropriate to the family or child’s needs.

• In every school there will be staff trained to understand how to support emotional needs of grieving children.

• A National Virtual Centre for Grief in Childhood for excellence in research, teaching and training to support service delivery

What does this mean for you?

A searing commentaryon childhood today:

• Excessive individualism• Soaring family breakdown• Commercialisation• Overly-competitive education• Dire poverty

The Good Childhood Inquiry 2009

What does this mean for emotional well being and resilience?

International league table UNICEF Report Card 7

The context of emotional and mental health in childhood:• 1 in 10 children has a diagnosable mental health

disorder• Highest rate of self harm in Europe in UK • Particularly vulnerable groups

– Asylum seekers– Young carers– Children in care– Disability– Children who have been abused– Bereavement– Hidden harm - young people with drug or alcohol issues

Who can they turn to?

• 300,000 children with drug misusing parent• 850,000 children with alcohol misusing parent -

Impact of Fetal Alcohol Spectrum• 160,000 children of prisoners• Parental mental health: < 50% of adult mental health

users are parents• Domestic violence: 700,000 recorded episodes in 1

year• 175,000 young carers in the UK – high risk of mental

health problems

Who can they turn to?

Exposing hidden harm:

Listening to those with physical and learning disability

Who can they turn to?

The burden of mental health for schools

In a 1000 student secondary school, at any one time:• 100 will be suffering significant mental illness• 50 pupils will be seriously depressed• 10-20 pupils will have an obsessive compulsive

disorder• 5-10 girls will be affected by eating disorders• 35-60 are bereaved of someone close

BUT:– Only 25% of CYP with clinically significant mental

health problems will be accessing the services they need.

Who can they turn to?

How can we promote emotional resilience• Someone to turn to

– Confidentiality– Non-stigmatising– Appropriate setting and environment– Properly trained staff– Whole school environment– Crucial importance of the head teacher

• Primary SEAL(Social & Emotional Aspects of Learning)

• Secondary SEAL• UNICEF Rights Respecting Schools• Roots of Empathy

A School Drop-in CentreThe ‘Tic Tac’ centre Paignton Community College

Someone to turn to – in school

Someone to turn to – drop in centres

Weymouth

Hove

Someone to turn to:

• The staggering success of Child Line• Exposes the huge unmet needs of children

& young people• Many thousands are unable to access the

services

We need more people for children to turn to

A framework for responsible listening & action - UNICEF Rights Respecting Schools

Children from RRR

Schools in Andover,

Hampshire

Respect, Responsibility and Rights

‘Rights Respecting’ (RRR) ethos

• Evaluation suggests wide benefits:– Improved empathy & pro-social behaviour (less bullying

and aggression)– Enhanced school democracy– Increased personal confidence and enthusiasm for

learning– Greater awareness of international issues– Greater support for diversity and inclusion

• Being introduced in pre-school settings• Rights Respecting Communities in Hampshire:

continuity across ages and services

Investing in parenting: Roots of Empathy

Witnessing baby development: - the basis for empathy and parenting

Winnipeg, Canada

Can we promote RoE here?

The Melksham Resilience Project

Wrap-up!!• Someone to turn to• Bereavement – services, organisation, training and

research• Childhood today, and international indicators• Mental and emotional ill health – context, burden

and impact on schools• Awareness of the needs of the most vulnerable• Promoting emotional resilience• Listening to the voices of children and young people• What works and how do you know you do any good?

So, what does all of this mean for YOU?

Identify one Action you will do tomorrow that you hadn’t thought of until now!!

Thank you for listening!

www.aynsley-green.com