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If you are winning all the time

then you are not trying hard

enough to lose

-Unspoken quote from my Dad

Seven Awesome Lessons My

Dad Taught me

By: DuaneAnderson

have to be

one of the

luckiest kids

on the planet

to have a dad

like mine. My

dad taught mea lot. As a child

and as an adult.

But in many ways

its what he didnt

teach me that was so

awesome. The hidden lessons,

the wax on wax off, paint the fence

moments is perhaps where I unintentionally

learned the hardest and the best lessons.

Lesson One

Anything worth doing is worth doing

Excellently

If there was one thing that my dad taught

me it was excellence. He was and still is a

meticulous planner. A furious executor and

a glorious measurer of the results.

He demanded excellence from me. He

demanded good grades from me. He

demanded that I give me best in all areas of

life. That didnt always mean an A.

Sometimes it meant a C if that was truly my

best. Sometimes an A was not good

enough.

I can remember being in the third

grade and learning my

multiplication tables.

He worked with me

and worked with

me. One night I

was up in the

kitchen very late.

I was crying but

he kept pushing

me to learn

them. To this

day I am damn

good at

multiplication.

He was an excellent

basketball player too and an

even better coach. He taught me the game

very excellently. He never let me beat him.

It pissed me off at the time why I couldnever win. I got so angry and hungry to

beat him but I never could. On some level it

seemed that he was hardcore. Dare I say

Clint Eastwoodish. One might think he took

some pleasure from beating his son. But

whether the lesson was intentional or not it

taught me to be hungry for the win. Life is

big. Sometimes you get your shot blocked.

Life is never going to let you win. So you

find a way to get your shot off. You

change. You try different things until you

find something that works. If you are still

failing you have not found the thing that

works yet! Be aggressive and take it to the

hole. Oh yeah, and go to your left.

I

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Lesson Two

Choose Your Battles Then Fight

He was hard on me as a basketball player

but he also backed me up. I can rememberbeing at the Bethlehem Baptist Church in a

youth league game. I got called for

traveling. I did not travel. But there I was

12 years old. I was wronged. I remember

my dad telling me from the sidelines, Son,

dont argue with the referee. I will do it.

He cant call a foul on me I know some

parents and others might have thought that

this was over the top. And it was kind ofcomical as he was being escorted out of the

gym. But it taught me tofight when you

are wronged. More importantly it taught

me to fight for others when they are

wronged.

Lesson Three

Be one step ahead of your competition

I loved football growing up. I never played

organized football but every day when my

dad got home from work, without

hesitation; after the sun went down he

would come out to the street and throw the

football with me.

But with a Dad like mine, this was not just

the casual back and forth throwing. It was a

spot- on lesson. He taught me differentpatterns. The fly pattern, the post pattern,

the crossing route. He taught me to turn

inside, then outside. The whole nine yards,

so to speak.

He taught me the timing, when to cut,

when to fake, and when to expect the ball.

If you werent ready for the ball you got

smacked in the face. Just like in life. This is

stuff they teach in the advanced leagues.You even see it in the NFL.

You cannot hesitate to throw the ball. If

you wait for a player to be open to throw

the ball its too late. If you wait until the

opportunity is perfect, its too late.

It also taught me an important lesson.

Always be a step ahead of your

competition. Always be ready for whateverlife throws at you. Prepare. Practice and

then Act. Pull that trigger. If you hesitate

to act life might just smack you in the face.

Lesson Four

Always Demand the Best of Yourself

As a basketball coach for some of teams I

played on, he was harder on me than the

rest. He demanded more out of me. He

would not hesitate to sit me down if I did

not perform. I can remember being a high

school aged kid playing in the adult league

with my dad. Thats right an adult league.

My dad always told me that to be the best

you have to play against the best. If you

play people you can always beat you wont

get to the next level. These are words that I

later heard Michael Jordan and Magic

Johnson and Larry Bird say. And what a

pivotal wow moment that was.

What did that teach me? Well for one, it

taught me to always demand the very best

from myself. Always expect the very best of

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myself. Has my life always been excellent?

Heck no. But has the pursuit of excellence

always been there? You better believe it.

It still is. I am still hungry and driven and I

dont settle for anything less than my best.

Lesson Five

Pay Your Dues There is no substitute for

hard work

Later in life I got a job at the Marley Cooling

Tower Company where my dad had worked

for many years. It was not until then that I

really understood how witty he was. At a

glance you would think that he was a

jokester and never did any work. He did

have fun at work. He was driving a forklift

taking it easy and there I was sweating my

ass off on the assembly line. It was totally

unfair. But as time went on I realized that

you have to pay your dues. That applies to

most things in life. You dont walk into a

company and become CEO. The expert is

anything was once a beginner. You have to

work hard. There is no substitute for hard

work.

Lesson Six

Dont be afraid to fight, but use your head

Yes this is almost the same thing as Lesson

two. Its that important. .

Getting back to the earlier example of

standing up for others. I really saw this at

work when I watched my dad as a Union

Steward. He was sharp. He really knew his

stuff. He wasnt one of those stewards that

was pro union and anti-company. If a union

person was wrong, he was not afraid to tell

them that. But if you were wronged, he

would go to bat for you and it was nothing

short of watching a maestro lead a fine

symphony. He knew when to sound thetrumpets. He knew when to have a soft

flute solo and he knew when to bring in the

loud Tubas.

He not only knew the contract inside and

out, he knew what the company was going

to say before they even said it. He knew

what the outcome of any given grievance

was going to be before it was even decided.

He was so good at what he did that one of

the plant managers often approached him

to settle disputes because they knew he

was the most level headed steward. And

he flat out got stuff done.

Lesson learned. Sometimes you fight and

sometimes you dont. If you are wrong,

correct the mistake and move on. If you are

right sometimes its not the right battle.

But if it is the right battle bring in the Tubas

and kick some ass!

Lesson Seven

Your Excuse is Invalid

My dad had been heavy since I can

remember. I never knew him any otherway. If you would have seen our kitchen

table growing up you would have thought

we were feeding 10. Nope. Just 4.

Then one day in the late 80s he decided to

take up running. I didnt think anything of

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it. But every night he would trek to

Southern Parkway and run. Hed make it

farther and farther with each passing day.

Suddenly he began losing weight and

running faster and faster.

He was committed, dedicated and he

defeated the voice in his head that I am

sure told him he could not do it. He got to

where he was running all the time. He

started running in 5K, 10K, the mini

marathon, the Triple Crown. He did the

unthinkable. He did the unimaginable. He

defeated his negative inner dialogue. He

crushed it like a boss!

The lesson? Your excuse is invalid. If a

middle aged overweight man can suddenly

start running and lose weight and conquer

the mini marathon, any obstacle I come up

against could likewise be defeated.

Many times I have thought of that over

the years. I am now 43 years old. Im

about the same age he was when he first

started running. I am going to use his

example to do the same thing. Being

diagnosed with diabetes I need to do

something anyway. I am going to take up

running. I am going to get into shape and I

am going to run in a 5K by the fall. I am

going to run the mini marathon in 2014!

Pictured : John Anderson

Circa: 2006

Pictured: John Anderson

Circa: 1975