seng 2014 - giftedidentity · 2014-10-26 · coping (healthy or not) the same traits of giftedness...
TRANSCRIPT
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression: Tools for Parents
and Teachers
SENG 2014 Saturday
July19, 2014
©2014 Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC
Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC
©2014 Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
Introduction Who am I? Psychotherapist in private practice Specialist in gifted development
and high sensitivity (works with children, teens, adults, couples, parents and families)
Adjunct Faculty at St. Mary’s College of California
Co-Founder of Gifted Identity Certified SENG Model Parent Group
facilitator Parent of a gifted child You?
Agenda Importance of anxiety, mood disorders (depression) and
gifted traits Specific needs of the gifted population Gifted Identity Project results The problem
Tools Scaffolding Modeling Awareness and Mindfulness Relaxation exercise
Summary Discussion and Questions
©2014 Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
Anxiety Gifted children… may worry to excess (relates with differences in level of
awareness; for example a very young gifted child might be overly aware of potential mishaps or hazards)
can be perfect perfectionists (impacts anxiety) are sometimes vulnerable to stressors that don’t often
impact same-age typically developing children (such as global or environmental issues, their impact on other people or the world, meaning of life, finding their place and reason for existence)
might be more reactive than many typical children (seemingly small worries can feel huge)
can be incredibly intense and/or highly sensitive, which can contribute to anxiety
©2014 Grace Malonai,Ph.D.,LPCC
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
Depression Gifted children… may suffer from existential depression– this is not common in
typically developing children may have a higher risk of suicide are sometimes vulnerable to stressors that don’t impact
typical children, such as world politics, differences in values and morals between various populations, global change and limitations, space travel, etc.)
tend to be more reactive than many typical children can be incredibly intense and/or highly sensitive
©2014 G. Malonai
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
Reference: Webb, J., Gore, J, Amend, E, & DeVries, A (2007). A Parent's Guide to Gifted Children. Great Potential Press: AZ
©Copyright 2014 Malonai and Duncan
Diagnosis in the Family
0% 10% 20% 30% 40% 50% 60%
No/NoneDepression
AnxietyADD/ADHD (Attention Deficit Disorder)
BipolarOCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder)
DyslexiaSensory Processing Disorder
Asperger'sDysgraphia
ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder)NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)
Children (n=365) Parents (n=365)
Q11 and Q29: Shown Side-by-Side: Have You or Your Children, Ever Been Diagnosed or Misdiagnosed
With Any of the Following?
©Copyright 2014 Malonai and Duncan
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
Gifted Traits and Excitabilities
0% 20% 40% 60% 80%
Rapid speech - 0No/None
Compulsive organizingPreference for fast action and sports
DepressionImaginary friendsMagical thinking
Nervous habits and ticsVivid dreams
LonelinessTimidity and shyness
Detailed visualizationCompulsive talkingImpulsive behavior
Feelings of guilt/sense of responsibilityPhysical response to emotions
SleeplessnessDaydreaming
Participant (n=371) Other Members of the Household (n=380)
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
©Copyright 2014 Malonai and Duncan
0% 20% 40% 60% 80% 100%
Problems adjusting to changeFeelings of inadequacy and inferiority
CompetitivenessLove of poetry, music and drama
Intolerance of hypocrisyAnxiety
Theoretical thinkingExtremes of emotionLong concentration
Concern for othersSensitive to smells, tastes, or textures
Heightened sense of injusticeLove of problem solving
Asking of probing questionsGood sense of humor
Avid readingIndependent thinking
Deep curiosityAnalytical thinking
Love of knowledge and learning
Participant (n=371) Other Members of the Household (n=380)
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
©Copyright 2014 Malonai and Duncan
Coping (healthy or not) The same traits of giftedness that are uniquely wonderful
may also contribute to anxiety and depression Anxiety and depression can be overwhelming Children aren’t born knowing how to cope, but gifted
children often work hard to cope — in order to accommodate their particular challenges, such as over-excitabilities.
They might use negative coping skills– such as acting out, developing fears and hesitation (which can be protective), phobias and perseverations, tantrums, depression, or depressive irritability and moodiness.
©2014 Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
Turn the challenges into strengths Negative coping behaviors might offer quick fixes to
immediate overload of uncomfortable feelings (such as intense anxiety)
Even though negative coping can be ineffective or troubling in the long run, using negative coping skills might be the best they can do (without support)
Gifted kids are usually fast learners and can improve the way they manage anxiety, depression, uncomfortable feelings and/or overexcitabilities
When they are supported and managed positively, challenges can be come strengths
©2014 Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
Overview of the Problem We want our children to thrive even when facing anxiety
and depression; They want that too Gifted Children are often aware of anxiety and
depression issues, but don’t necessarily understand them, know how to identify the problem, or know what to do —they just feel different or bad; They might believe that something is wrong with them
Maladaptive ways of thinking or coping (behaviors) can interfere happiness, self-esteem and social development, and can promote anxiety and depression
Parents and teachers can help children develop positive coping skills to manage anxiety or depression
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
©2014 Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC
Today’s Three Concepts Scaffolding: Provide appropriate support Modeling: Whether you realize it or not
Awareness: Mindfulness, Support, and Practice
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
©2014 Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC
Concept #1: Scaffolding
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
©2014 Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC
Concept #1: Scaffolding Scaffolding doesn’t take over a building, nor become
the building, and when it isn’t needed, it is taken down. Scaffolding can enhance learning Scaffolding promotes improved self-esteem and self-
efficacy, which can have the long-term impact on reducing anxiety and depressive symptoms
Scaffolding helps to address asynchrony 3 Parts:
Holding on Letting go Sticking around
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
©2014 Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC
Reference: Kegan, R. (1998) In Over Our Heads. Harvard University Press: MA.
Part 1 of Scaffolding: Holding On = Acceptance
Acceptance for who they are As they notice and feel your acceptance, it is easier to
accept themselves Asynchronous development: use voice and tone for the
youngest emotional age presented, while your vocabulary meets them intellectually
I’m happy to see you!
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
©2014 Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC
Support for who they are Help them discover their own traits, and to help build their
own concept of who they are Don’t assume gifted children already know their strengths,
skills, and especially their efforts, just because they are gifted (Gifted children often assume that everyone can do or think as they can)
Promote self-understanding in more than one venue—for example, do projects that reflect their particular characteristics (such as making a collage or gardening—exactly what doesn’t matter as long as the focus reflects their characteristics)
Say out loud! (This is part of who you are)
Part 1 of Scaffolding: Holding On = Support
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
©2014 Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC
Help them discover their strengths, skills and efforts Point out strengths and skills as soon as you see them: “I
notice how long you have been reading—that is a wonderful strength”
Acknowledge and celebrate their efforts: “You really put a lot of effort into practicing the violin”
Part 1 of Scaffolding: Holding On = Acknowledge
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
©2014 Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC
Part 2 of Scaffolding: Letting Go = Stretch
Challenges them to go further (beyond roadblocks or stagnicity)
Stretches their strengths and skills Points out ways to improve Holds a vision of possibility and transformation
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
©2014 Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC
Letting Go is especially helpful for gifted kids because many tasks are easy for them, and they can quickly spiral
downward emotionally if they get stuck with tasks that are challenging, particularly emotional tasks
When challenging gifted kids to “go further,” help them see beyond the plateau they may have reached
Help them visualize the next step in their project or emotional challenge Emotional challenge example: “You breathed through the
worst of it. The feelings are like waves; you’ve gotten through the bigger set, and now there are more, but they will be more manageable because you know you can get through them. I can see you starting to relax. Keep breathing, you can do it.”
Part 2 of Scaffolding: Letting Go = Visualize
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
©2014 Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC
Letting Go also means pointing out ways to grow and improve, and hold that vision of possible improvement for them
Example: Tell them how you see the colors, the grey, the light and the dark (even if they only see the dark)
This Letting Go holds out a vision of possibility and transformation.
By the way, for hands-on learners, use other media, such as paper and markers.
Part 2 of Scaffolding: Letting Go = Grow
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
©2014 Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC
Part 3 of Scaffolding: Sticking Around
Provide a safe place to try out new possibilities without fear of loss or failure
Allow for changes in light of new abilities and adjusted needs
Sticking Around helps new growth to be more permanent and continuous
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
©2014 Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC
Concept #2: Modeling Capitalize on the fact that
you are a model of appropriate behavior
Gifted kids often easily learn vicariously through observing you
Works great for kids who are resistant
Research supports its efficacy
Requirement: practice your own self-awareness
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
©2014 Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC
Components of Modeling Behavior
Purposefully create a positive model of behavior
Set the stage for success Practice!
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
©2014 Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC
Purposefully Create a Model for Positive Behavior Seek an opportunity to demonstrate a positive way to
respond to a situation that would likely trigger a maladaptive response in your child, if that same thing happened to her or him
Address the resolution or solution, but also speak to the underlying problems or concerns
Talk it through out-loud, as if talking to yourself– maybe even under your breath, which could make it more powerful
Be authentic, yet remain appropriate. This is a real life situation (Gifted kids especially will see right through a dramatization)
Use feeling words, self-calming, “I” statements, and be sure to create a positive plan.
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
©2014 Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC
Purposefully Create a Model for Positive Behavior
Identify a trigger Talk it through Model your internal dialogue
by saying it out loud. Use a feeling word Be realistic and authentic Model a skill
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
©2014 Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC
Modeling: Prepare ahead of time to set the Stage for Success Identify an opportunity to
demonstrate a positive way to respond to a potentially uncomfortable situation
Prepare with a positive attitude Discuss ahead of time so there aren’t
any surprises (get agreement ahead of time, if possible)
Put a positive spin on it
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
©2014 Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC
Modeling: Practice! Use a feeling word Refer to yourself (you are the model) Rehearse, and say it out loud Be authentic Model a skill
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
©2014 Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC
Concept #3: Awareness and Mindfulness
What is awareness? Mindfulness is a skill that can be learned
by even very young children Mindful-awareness takes practice Mindfulness helps you to be more
aware of a complete spectrum of what is going on emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically with yourself
It is more than just paying attention, it is a type of opening, like a flower blooming (opening in awareness)
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
©2014 Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC
Tools For Increased Mindfulness and Awareness We’ll focus on:
Getting the big picture (greater perspective) Becoming aware of triggers (prevention) A few tools I use in my practice that are easy to implement Taking on a new view using a different lens What is going on right now Using what you already have Paying attention to success Importance of breathing A brief exercise
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
©2014 Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC
Awareness and Mindfulness: See the Big Picture Take on a new perspective– zoom out for
the big picture Counter hyper-focusing (if needed) and
promote seeing things through multiple perspectives
Change perspective in situations when it is not easy or natural (build mental muscle)
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
©2014 Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC
Be Aware of Triggers
Trigger identification Study the trigger Get a new perspective
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
©2014 Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC
Tools to Help Set the Stage for Greater Awareness
Stop and Think STAR(r) – Stop Think Act Review (repeat if
needed)
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
©2014 Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC
A Different View Reframe (and Frame again) Shift awareness to a new perspective
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
©2014 Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC
Awareness and Mindfulness: Talk About Right Now
Talk about feelings Choose a consistent time to talk Name feelings out loud
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
©2014 Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC
Awareness and Mindfulness: Use Tools That You Already Have
Use tools such as sticky notes for mindfulness in the classroom or at home
Give a student a sticky note to acknowledge a need
Let a student place a sticky note on his or her desk to express a need
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
©2014 Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC
Awareness and Mindfulness: Pay Attention to Success
Recognize positive feelings Do something fun Point out simple pleasures
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
©2014 Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC
Open Awareness
Teach children to be mindfully aware Teach them to discover and take care of
their needs through increasing self-awareness.
Mindful-awareness exercise
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
©2014 Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC
Awareness and Mindfulness: Breath Naturally
Keep breathing naturally Bubble breathing and belly movement
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
©2014 Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
Summary Importance of looking at depression and anxiety in the
gifted population Needs of gifted children in light of their gifted traits Scaffolding: Provide appropriate support Modeling: Whether you realize it or not Awareness: Triggers and Tools
Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
©2014 Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC
Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC (LPCC 252) Address: 2940 Camino Diablo, Suite 150, Walnut Creek, CA 94597 Phone: 925-954-6229 Fax: 925-269-8052 Email: [email protected] Website: www.TheraThrive.com
Gifted Identity™ Project Email: [email protected] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/GiftedIdentityProject Website: www.GiftedIdentity.com
Discussion | Examples | Questions
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Helping Gifted Kids Cope with Anxiety and Depression
©2014 Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC
I’d love to hear from you!