SeeingTheWayVolume2

DiscerningTimelessTruthinTraditionalBuddhistTeachings

ArunoPublications

CopyrightSeeingTheWayVolume2

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ArunoPublications,ArunaRatanagiriBuddhistMonastery2HarnhamHallCottages,Harnham,Belsay,NorthumberlandNE200HFUK

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ISBN978-09568113-3-2

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Copyright©2011HARNHAMBUDDHISTMONASTERYTRUST

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PrefaceThefirstvolumeof‘SeeingtheWay’wasprintedin1989.Ourteacher,theVenerableAjahnChah,hadbeenseriouslyillforanumberofyears.PublishingthiscollectionofDhammatalksinEnglishwasonewayofexpressingourloveandgratitudetohim.

Numerousrequeststoreprintthatoriginalanthologyhavebeenmadeovertheyears.Thetwodecadesthathavepassedsincethattime,however,havefoundtheshapeandsizeofourcommunitychangeconsiderably.Hence,ratherthanreprinting,Idecidedtooffera‘SeeingtheWay’,VolumeTwo.

DuringAjahnChah’svisittoEuropein1978heaskedhisseniorWesterndisciple,AjahnSumedho,toacceptaninvitationtoestablishaTheravadaBuddhistmonasteryinBritain.NooneknewhowthingswouldunfoldbutAjahnChah’srecommendationwastosimplylivethebhikkhulifeandwaittoseewhathappened.

Now,aswebegintheyear2011,AjahnSumedhohasreturnedtoliveinThailand,andwereflectonwhathappenedduringthoseinterveningthirty-fouryears.NotonlywasaTheravadatrainingmonasterywellestablishedintheUK–CittavivekainWestSussex–butAjahnSumedhofurtherinitiatedandsupportedthebuildingofsevenothermonasteriesaroundtheWesternworld:anotherthreeinBritain,andoneeachinItaly,Switzerland,theUnitedStatesandNewZealand.SothisbookalsohonoursthededicatedcommitmentofAjahnSumedhototherenunciatelifeandthemanypreciousgiftshehasgivenus.

ThisnewcollectionoftranscribedtalksandessaysbyeighteenmonksandnunsaimstopresentasnapshotofthecommunityofWesterndisciplesofAjahnChahasitisnow,in2011.IncludedamongthecontributorsaremanyofthosewhosetalkswereinVolumeOneof‘SeeingtheWay’.Alsoincludedareseniormonksandnunswhoarecurrentlyservingasleadersofthisfamilyofmonasteries.Thelayoutofthechaptersisdeterminedbygeographicallocation,astructurethatIhopewillgiveapictureoftheworld-widecommunity.Butreadersshouldfeelfreetoreadthechaptersinwhateversequencetheywish.

Howevertheyareread,IexpectthatyouwillrecognizeDhammathreadsconnectingallofthem.Oneofthemostevidentthreadsisthatofrelinquishment.Perhapsinthecontextofthemodernconsumerculture–̵it’sWesternandEasternvariations–̵thereisariskofBuddhismbecominganotherexpressionofself-seeking:doing‘my’practice,developing‘my’attainments,gaining‘my’insights.

AjahnChahleavesusnoroomfordoubt.Inthequestionandanswersessionthatformstheintroductiontothisbookhemakesitveryclear:thereisnothingatallwecanclingto;everythingmusteventuallyberelinquished,includingourmostpreciousideasaboutpractice.Ichosetoreprintthispiececalled,‘WhatisContemplation’fromthefirst‘SeeingtheWay’,soreadersmightgleanasenseofthewayinwhichDhammaistaughtinthistradition.Fromstudyingsuttaswerecognizetheimportanceofsolitude.YetsomewhatparadoxicallyitisSangha,orspiritualcommunity,thatshowsushowtotrulybenefitfromsolitarypractice.Inthecompanyoftheteacherweintuitarightrelationshiptotheinnerlife,withitsjoysandsorrows,successesandfailures.AjahnChahwasruthlessinhisencouragementtoustosurrenderourselvesintopractice,holdingnothingback.Hedidit,however,withawarmth,andoftenasmile,thatmadeallthedifference.InthefollowingpagesI

trustyouwillsensesomethingofthisgenerosityofspiritwhichnaturallyshinesforthfromthosewho,withcommitment,havedevelopedthisway.

InthefirstdiscourseAjahnSumedhoinspiresustowardsawakeninginhistalk‘TheDhammaisRightHere’byfocusingdirectlyonthepowerofapurifiedawareness.Hespeaksoftheescapehatchthroughwhichwecanenteranewlevelofunderstanding,freefromtheundermininghabitsofclinging.LateronAjahnSucittodiscussesthewisdomthatknowshowtoreleaseoutofourlife-story,withitstragedies,heroesandvillains.Heemphasizesthatsuchlettinggoisnotanunwillingnesstorespond.However,thatsteadinessandcompletenesscanbefoundinaqualityofawarenessofwhatis,whenweceaseclingingtoopinionsabouthowthingsshouldbe.AjahnKhemasiriinhistalk‘RightOrientation’reflectsonthefirsttwofactorsoftheEightfoldPath.Hepointsoutthatrenunciationpracticeisforeveryone;notjustforthose‘goneforth.’Andthattheessenceofrenunciationisfoundinwhatwedoontheheartlevel,notjustontheouteraspectsorformsofpractice.

AjahnPasannoinhiscontributionconsidersspiritualfriendshipandcommentsonhowbringingmindfulnessintoallareasoflife–formalpracticeanddailylifepractice–equipsuswiththeskilltomakewisechoices.Hediscusseshowcultivatingmindfulrelationshipleadstoatangibleincreasedabilityintakingresponsibility.AjahnViradhammodirectsourcontemplationtowardsthevalueofcommunityandthewaypracticeofpreceptssupportslettinggoatthesametimeaswemaintainempathy.Wewillallfaceobstaclesaswetravelalongthispathtofreedombutwisecompanionshipcanprotectusfrombecomingtoodistractedorlost.

AjahnTiradhammohighlightssomeofthecausesforbecominglostandshowsushowtorecognizewarningsigns.AndbothAjahnSundaraandAjahnCandasirispeakaboutequippingourselveswellforthejourneyaheadwithconsciousappreciationoftheblessingswehavealreadyreceived.Timelyreflectionontheseblessingsshowsuswehavemorethanenoughtofullygiveourselvesintothistraining.

Ifwehadn’theardwiseteachingsorifwedidn’tliveinabenevolentandtolerantsocietywewouldn’thavethefreedomtoinvestigateastheBuddhataught.Yeteventhoughweareindeedblessedwithgoodfortuneatthistime,outofheedlessnesswecancreateobstructionsforourselvesandothers.Complacencyisoneofthem.WemightgainsometranquillityandinitialinsightfromourmeditationeffortsbutthisisnotyettheheartwoodofwhichtheBuddhaspoke.Relinquishment,lettinggo,abandonmentisthegoal.Inhistalk,‘TheRealPractice’,AjahnJayasaroagainoffersclearguidanceonwhereourprioritiesmustlieifwereallydolongforliberation.

ItishopedthatreaderswillfindwithintheseofferingsinstructionandencouragementrelevanttoapersonalseeingofthatwhichtheBuddhasaw,2550yearsago.AsAjahnSumedhoemphasizes,thisteachingis,‘...notjustaniceidea,orBuddhismperse.It’sactuallyaclearpointinginaspecificdirection–atyourheart.’IfyourinterestisinstudyingaboutBuddhismyoumightnotfindtheseteachingshelpful.Whenwefirstencountertheseteachings,itistrueweneedtofindconfidenceinourconceptualunderstandingofwhattheBuddhataught.ButlearningalotaboutBuddhismcanalsobecomeadistraction.Ifwefailtolookintherightdirectionoureffortsfindusbecomingevenmoreentangledinthemyriadouterdistractions;weloseourway.ThankfullythoughDhammafriendsareonhandtohelpusoncemoretofindthisway.

Considerablevariationinperspectivesandstyleamongtheteachersandteachingsrepresentedinthisanthologyisnoticeable.Withinthismixtheremightevenappeartobecontradictions.Onsomepoints

thecontributorsalmostcertainlydonotagreewitheachother.Buttoleranceofdiversityissurelyahallmarkofahealthycommunityandisworthnurturingandsustaining.AjahnChahmanifestedconsiderableskillinthisarea;whileemphasizingtheinnerpractice,atthesametimeremainingalertandsensitivetooursurroundings.

Obviouslywithoutthecommitmentandeffortofthesegoodfriendsthisbookcouldnothavebeenmadeavailable,soforthatwearetrulygrateful.Gratitudeisalsoduetoallthetranscribersandeditorsofthesetalks.Considerableskillisneededwhenconvertingatalkintothewrittenword,toomucheditinganditceasestosoundlikethepersonwhogavethetalk;notenoughandthereaderfeelschallengedtofindanymeaning.IwishtomakeparticularmentionofRonLumsdenwhoserigorousandsubtleassistancehasbeenamajorelementinbringingthisprojecttofruition.MayIalsoexpresssincereappreciationfortheKataññūtaGroupinMalaysiawhosegenerositywastheinitialinspirationforthisprinting.

Mayallbeingsseethewayclearly.

MunindoBhikkhu

16thJanuary,2011

IntroductionThefollowingsessionofquestionsandanswerswithAjahnChahisreprintedfrom‘SeeingtheWay’VolumeOne.Itisincludedherebywayofanintroductiontothisnewcompilationasatributetoourteacher.Also,quitesimply,becauseitissuchaclearanddirectteachingitisworthreadingagainandagain.

Rareinthisworlditistofindabeingwhohassocompletelyarrivedatunshakeablepeaceandremainssoconsistentlytruetohistradition.Fromthedayhe‘wentforthfromhometohomelessness’,asitsaysinthetraditionalBuddhistscriptures,AjahnChahlivedalifeofsimplicityanddiscipline.AlthoughhebecamewellknownthroughoutThailand,andlateraroundtheworld,hewasuncompromisinginhisrespectfuladherencetothemodestwaysoftheTheravadanforesttraditionofwhichhewasapart.Throughout,hemaintainedadignitythatwasatthesametimebeautifulandinspiring.Thisorthodoxapproachdidnotmeanheshiedawayfrommakingradicaldecisionsiftheywerecalledfor,orthathewouldavoidunfamiliarsituationsjustbecausetheywereuncomfortable.Hisyearsofaustere,solitary,forestpracticeattestedtohisabilitytoturnfrustrationsintofuelforprogresstowardsthegoal.OncewhenAjahnChahwasaskedwhatmadehimdifferentfromsomanyothermonkshesaiditwasthathewasdaring.Hedaredtogoagainsthabitsthatdidn’taccordwithDhamma,whileotherssimplywentalongwiththestatusquo.Evenifattimesthepathappearedovergrown,ifhesawthatitledtoliberationhefollowedit.

Thiswashowhepractisedandthiswashowhetaught.Hedidn’tofferadoctrineortechniqueandinsistwegowithit.Trulyhedidn’tmindifweagreedwithhimornot.Hehadnothingtosellandnothingtoadvertise.Ononeoccasionhespokeabouthowthesanghashouldonlyadvertiseitselfbywayofinnerstillness.Onanotheroccasionhereferredtohimselfasagrandoldtreethatstillproducedsomeberries.Thebirdsthatcameandateofthesefruitsgossipedaboutwhethertheyweresweetorsour,agreeableornot,butforhimitwasalljustthechatteringofthebirds.Whatmatteredwashowtohelpbeingsbefreefromsuffering,notwhetherhewasapprovedof.Hesoughttoopentheheartsandmindsofthosebeingsstillcaughtinthevortexofself-perpetuatingdelusions.Hiswordsandhisexampleconsistentlypointedinonedirection:theheartofclarityandkindness.

WhatIsContemplation?

ThefollowingteachingisanextractfromasessionofquestionsandanswersthattookplaceatWatGorNorkmonasteryduringtheVassaof1979,betweenVenerableAjahnChahandagroupofEnglish-speakingmonks.Somerearrangementofthesequenceofconversationhasbeenmadeforeaseofunderstanding.

Question:Whenyouteachaboutthevalueofcontemplation,areyouspeakingofsittingandthinkingoverparticularthemes–thethirtytwopartsofthebody,forinstance?

Answer:Thatisnotnecessarywhenthemindistrulystill.Whentranquillityisproperlyestablishedtherightobjectofinvestigationbecomesobvious.Whencontemplationis‘true’,thereisnodiscriminationinto‘right’and‘wrong’,‘good’and‘bad’;thereisnothingevenlikethat.Youdon’tsittherethinking,‘Oh,thisislikethatandthatislikethis’etc.Thatisacoarseformofcontemplation.Meditativecontemplationisnotmerelyamatterofthinking–ratherit’swhatwecall‘contemplation

insilence’.Whilstgoingaboutourdailyroutinewemindfullyconsidertherealnatureofexistencethroughcomparisons.Thisisacoarsekindofinvestigationbutitleadstotherealthing.

Q:Whenyoutalkaboutcontemplatingthebodyandmind,though,doweactuallyusethinking?Canthinkingproducetrueinsight?Isthisvipassana?

A:Inthebeginningweneedtoworkusingthinking,eventhoughlateronwegobeyondit.Whenwearedoingtruecontemplationalldualisticthinkinghasceased;althoughweneedtoconsiderdualisticallytogetstarted.Eventuallyallthinkingandponderingcometoanend.

Q:Yousaythattheremustbesufficienttranquillitysamādhitocontemplate.Justhowtranquildoyoumean?

A:Tranquilenoughfortheretobepresenceofmind.

Q:Doyoumeanstayingwiththehere-and-now,notthinkingaboutthepastandfuture?

A:Thinkingaboutthepastandfutureisallrightifyouunderstandwhatthesethingsreallyare,butyoumustnotgetcaughtupinthem.Treatthemthesameasyouwouldanythingelse–don’tgetcaughtup.Whenyouseethinkingasjustthinking,thenthat’swisdom.Don’tbelieveinanyofit!Recognizethatallofitisjustsomethingthathasarisenandwillcease.Simplyseeeverythingjustasitis–itiswhatitis–themindisthemind–it’snotanythingoranybodyinitself.Happinessisjusthappiness,sufferingisjustsuffering–itisjustwhatitis.Whenyouseethisyouwillbebeyonddoubt.

Q:Istilldon’tunderstand.Istruecontemplatingthesameasthinking?

A:Weusethinkingasatool,buttheknowingthatarisesbecauseofitsuseisaboveandbeyondtheprocessofthinking;itleadstoournotbeingfooledbyourthinkinganymore.Yourecognizethatallthinkingismerelythemovementofthemind,andalsothatknowingisnotbornanddoesn’tdie.Whatdoyouthinkallthismovementcalled‘mind’comesoutof?Whatwetalkaboutasthemind–alltheactivity–isjusttheconventionalmind.It’snottherealmindatall.Whatisrealjustis,it’snotarisingandit’snotpassingaway.

Tryingtounderstandthesethingsjustbytalkingaboutthem,though,won’twork.Weneedtoreallyconsiderimpermanence,unsatisfactorinessandimpersonalityanicca,dukkha,anattā;thatis,weneedtousethinkingtocontemplatethenatureofconventionalreality.Whatcomesoutofthisworkiswisdom;andifit’srealwisdomeverything’scompleted,finished–werecognizeemptiness.Eventhoughtheremaystillbethinking,it’sempty–youarenotaffectedbyit.

Q:Howcanwearriveatthisstageoftherealmind?

A:Youworkwiththemindyoualreadyhave,ofcourse!Seethatallthatarisesisuncertain,thatthereisnothingstableorsubstantial.Seeitclearlyandseethatthereisreallynowheretotakeaholdofanything–it’sallempty.

Whenyouseethethingsthatariseinthemindforwhattheyare,youwon’thavetoworkwiththinkinganymore.Youwillhavenodoubtwhatsoeverinthesematters.

Totalkaboutthe‘realmind’andsoon,mayhavearelativeuseinhelpingusunderstand.Weinventnamesforthesakeofstudy,butactuallynaturejustishowitis.Forexample,sittingheredownstairsonthestonefloor.Theflooristhebase–it’snotmovingorgoinganywhere.Upstairs,aboveusiswhathasarisenoutofthis.Upstairsislikeeverythingthatweseeinourminds:form,feeling,memory,thinking.Really,theydon’texistinthewaywepresumetheydo.Theyaremerelytheconventionalmind.Assoonastheyarise,theypassawayagain;theydon’treallyexistinthemselves.

ThereisastoryinthescripturesaboutVenerableSāriputtaexaminingabhikkhubeforeallowinghimtogooffwanderingdhutangavatta.Heaskedhimhowhewouldreplyifhewasquestioned,‘WhathappenstotheBuddhaafterhedies?’Thebhikkhureplied,‘Whenform,feeling,perception,thinkingandconsciousnessarise,theypassaway.’VenerableSāriputtapassedhimonthat.

Practiceisnotjustamatteroftalkingaboutarisingandpassingaway,though.Youmustseeitforyourself.Whenyouaresitting,simplyseewhatisactuallyhappening.Don’tfollowanything.Contemplationdoesn’tmeanbeingcaughtupinthinking.ThecontemplativethinkingofoneontheWayisnotthesameasthethinkingoftheworld.Unlessyouunderstandproperlywhatismeantbycontemplation,themoreyouthinkthemoreconfusedyouwillbecome.

Thereasonwemakesuchapointofthecultivationofmindfulnessisbecauseweneedtoseeclearlywhatisgoingon.Wemustunderstandtheprocessesofourhearts.Whensuchmindfulnessandunderstandingarepresent,theneverythingistakencareof.WhydoyouthinkonewhoknowstheWayneveractsoutofangerordelusion?Thecausesforthesethingstoarisearesimplynotthere.Wherewouldtheycomefrom?Mindfulnesshasgoteverythingcovered.

Q:Isthismindyouaretalkingaboutcalledthe‘OriginalMind’?

A:Whatdoyoumean?

Q:Itseemsasifyouaresayingthereissomethingelseoutsideoftheconventionalbody-mind(thefivekhandhas).Istheresomethingelse?Whatdoyoucallit?

A:Thereisn’tanythingandwedon’tcallitanything–that’sallthereistoit!Befinishedwithallofit.Eventheknowingdoesn’tbelongtoanybody,sobefinishedwiththat,too!Consciousnessisnotanindividual,notabeing,notaself,notanother,sofinishwiththat–finishwitheverything!Thereisnothingworthwanting!It’salljustaloadoftrouble.Whenyouseeclearlylikethistheneverythingisfinished.

Q:Couldwenotcallitthe‘OriginalMind’?

A:Youcancallitthatifyouinsist.Youcancallitwhateveryoulike,forthesakeofconventionalreality.Butyoumustunderstandthispointproperly.Thisisveryimportant.Ifwedidn’tmakeuseofconventionalrealitywewouldn’thaveanywordsorconceptswithwhichtoconsideractualreality–Dhamma.Thisisveryimportanttounderstand.

Q:Whatdegreeoftranquillityareyoutalkingaboutatthisstage?Andwhatqualityofmindfulnessisneeded?

A:Youdon’tneedtogothinkinglikethat.Ifyoudidn’thavetherightamountoftranquillityyou

wouldn’tbeabletodealwiththesequestionsatall.Youneedenoughstabilityandconcentrationtoknowwhatisgoingon–enoughforclarityandunderstandingtoarise.

Askingquestionslikethisshowsthatyouarestilldoubting.Youneedenoughtranquillityofmindtonolongergetcaughtindoubtingwhatyouaredoing.Ifyouhaddonethepracticeyouwouldunderstandthesethings.Themoreyoucarryonwiththissortofquestioning,themoreconfusingyoumakeit.It’sallrighttotalkifthetalkinghelpscontemplation,butitwon’tshowyouthewaythingsactuallyare.ThisDhammaisnotunderstoodbecausesomebodyelsetellsyouaboutit,youmustseeitforyourself,paccattam.

Ifyouhavethequalityofunderstandingthatwehavebeentalkingabout,thenwesaythatyourdutytodoanythingisover;whichmeansthatyoudon’tdoanything.Ifthereisstillsomethingtodo,thenit’syourdutytodoit.

Simplykeepputtingeverythingdown,andknowthatthatiswhatyouaredoing.Youdon’tneedtobealwayscheckinguponyourself,worryingaboutthingslike‘Howmuchsamādhi’–itwillalwaysbetherightamount.Whateverarisesinyourpractice,letitgo;knowitallasuncertain,impermanent.Rememberthat!It’salluncertain.Befinishedwithallofit.ThisistheWaythatwilltakeyoutothesource–toyourOriginalMind.

InEurope

TheDhammaisRightHere

AdaptedfromatalkgivenatAmaravatiMonastery,in2010

LuangPorSumedhowasborninSeattle,USA,in1934.HereceivedordinationinNongkai,NEThailandin1967.FortenyearshetrainedunderLuangPorChahandmovedtotheUKwhereheestablishedCittavivekaMonasteryin1979.In1984hefoundedAmaravatiMonasteryandwasthere

for26years.LuangPorSumedhonowresidesinThailand.

‘Aswedevelopthepracticeofmindfulness,webegintooperatefromspontaneityandfromwisdomratherthanfrompersonalviews’.

Weallhavetheabilitytoreflect,toobserveandwatchthemind:tobetheobserverofmindstatesratherthanbecominglostinthem.Allthesemindstatesweexperiencecanteachus.Thisisanimportantmessage.Welivenotonlywiththeresultsofourownkammabutalsowiththecharactertendenciesofthosearoundus.Untilwelearnhowtowatchthemindintherightwaywesufferunnecessaryfearandanxietyfromtheendlesslychangingconditionswithinandaroundus.

SoonafterIjoinedtheSanghaIwastakenbyAjahnChahtomeetaveryseniormonk,LuangPorKhao.SomebodyhadgivenAjahnChahaPhilipstaperecorder.Thisisbackinthe60s,whentherewereonlyreels,notevencassettes.AjahnChahlovedgadgetssowithhistapeswevisitedalltheseoldAjahnsintheNorth-EastandAjahnChahwouldrecordthem.AtthistimeIstillcouldn’tunderstandtheThailanguageverywell.SoonthisoccasionIdidn’tunderstandmuchofwhatwasbeingsaidandjustsatthereuntilitwastimetoleave.EventuallyAjahnChahandAjahnMahaAmornwhowaswithhim,gotuptoleave,butLuangPorKhao,whowassittinginawheelchairbeckonedformetocomeover.Hecouldn’tspeakEnglish,buthegavemeaprofoundsermon.Hesaid,inThai,‘ThetruthofDhammaishere’,andhepointedtohisheart.Itwasabrilliantteaching.Icouldn’tunderstandthelanguageverywell,butIcouldunderstandthat.Ithasstayedwithmeeversince.Thatmessageisthewayofreflectiveobservationofsuffering,itscausesandtheabsenceofsuffering.YouseeandknowtheDhammainyourheart,notfromwhatpeopletellyouorbyreadingaboutitinbooks.

Buddho

Overtheyears,invariousways,allofushaveattimesbeencaughtupwithandcarriedawaybyourfeelingsandreactions.Takeamomenttoobservehowthesethingsaffectus;whetherit’sinreaction

tothepeopleyoulivewithorthesocietyyoulivein,thewaypeoplelookorwhattheysayortheirtoneofvoiceandsoforth.Allofthishasitseffectonyou–youfeelsomethingcomingfromthem.TheawarenessoffeelingisBuddho,theBuddhaknowingDhamma.Whenwedon’tobserveit,we’recaughtupinreactiontofeeling.We’rehelplessvictimsofourfeelings.Whenthingsaregoingwell,pleasingandpleasantwefeeloneway.Whenpeopleareinsultingorabusivethenwefeelanotherway.

AjahnChahalwaysemphasizedreflectingupontheeightworldlydhammas1.Weinvestigatetheseeightworldlydhammasandseethatineachcaseoneisthepositiveandoneisthenegative.Takesuccessandfailure:wewanttobesuccessfulandwedreadfailure.

AjahnChah,however,wouldsaythatbothsuccessandfailureareofequalvaluewhenyou’recontemplatingfromBuddho,ratherthanfrompersonalpreference.Considerpraiseandblame;whenpeoplesayyou’reawonderfulteacher,andthey’lldoanythingforyou,itfeelsoneway.Whentheysayyou’rehopeless,andtheycan’tunderstandanythingyousay,itfeelsanotherway.That’sTathātā(thewayitis).Thingsareastheyare.Bothformsoffeedbackareofequalvalue.Becauseyourattentionissuchthat,onapersonallevel,youwantpeople’spraise,respect,appreciation,gratitudeandlove.Andyoudon’twanttheirblame,disappointment,aversionorresentment.That’stheegomanifestingbywayofinclinationtowardsthepleasantandaversiontotheunpleasant.IntermsofBuddho,Dhammo,Sangho,awarenessembraceseverything.Buddho,throughawareness,isobservingthepleasantnessofbeingpraisedandtheunpleasantnessofbeingblamed.

TheMiddleWay–MajjhimāPatipadā

Tosomepeople,theMiddleWaysoundslikeamediocrity,inthatyoujustcompromisewitheverything–noextremes,justlivinginawaywhichispusillanimous.Iliketheword‘pusillanimous’.Itmeans‘smallminded’oracowardlypersonthatdoesn’thavemuchpresence,justtryingtogetby.IsthatreallytheMiddleWay?Intermsofdualisticextremities,likepraiseandblame,orsuccessandfailure,doestheMiddleWaymeanthatweshouldn’tdelightinsuccessorpraiseandweshouldjustignoreblameorfailure?Onthatlevel,oneisopposedtotheother.IntheMiddleWay,it’sBuddho–thewayoflookingattheextremitiesthroughthecultivationofawareness,ratherthanawayofpromotingoneselfasapersontryingtosucceedintheworld,orjustdriftingoutofit,fearingit,gettinglostinpusillanimity.

Harmony

AjahnAmarorecentlyreferredmetoanotebyThānissaroBhikkhu,onthePaliwordsammā,asinsammā-ditthi,sammā-sankappo.Thewordsammā,speltinthisnote,means‘onpitch’.It’slikeawordforharmonyorsoundwhichis‘onpitch’,andvisammāis‘offpitch’.ThānissaroBhikkhusaysthatthroughoutancientcultures,theterminologyofmusicwasusedtodescribethemoralqualityofpeopleandacts.Discordantintervalsorpoorlytunedmusicalinstrumentsweremetaphorsforevil,andharmoniousintervalsandwell-tunedinstrumentsweremetaphorsforgood.Sammāalsomeans‘even’.ThereisapassagewheretheBuddharemindsSonaKolibisa,whohadbeenover-exertinghimselfinthepractice,thatalutesoundsappealingonlyifthestringsareneithertootautnortoolax,butevenlytuned.Thissimilealsoaddsmeaningtothetermsamana,whichistranslatedasmonk,ormonastic,orcontemplative.Sothetruecontemplativeisalwaysintunewithwhatisproperandgood.

RightUnderstanding

Usingthewords‘right’and‘wrong’,inrelationto‘rightunderstanding’and‘wrongunderstanding’,istoostrongIthink.They’retoofixed–‘thisisrightandthat’swrong’.Ifyousaythatonethingisrightandanotheriswrong,andyouwantthemiddlepointbetweenthem,yougetablandmixture–itismediocrity.Withsammā-ditthi,youseerightandwrong,notfromtryingtoblendthemtogether,butthroughseeingthemfromthispositionofawareness;oneisinharmony.Onecanrelatetoactions,speech,livelihoodandtoresponsestolife,throughwisdomandthroughbeingawareoftheappropriatenessoftimeandplace.Thiscomesthroughwiseintuition,throughharmony,throughseeingthingswithasenseofbalanceandtranscendence,withtheunconditionedawarenessoftheconditioned.

TranscendentReality

Theword‘transcendence’soundslikeyou’reaboveitallbutthat’snotwhatImean.WhenIusethatword,transcendenceismorelikeseeingboththeunconditionedandtheconditioned,whichgotogetherandarenotopposedtoeachother.Inthismoment–hereandnow–asaconsciousentity,wehavetodealwiththeconditionsofthephysicalforms,withthesenses,emotions,memories;ourkammaandourhabits.Ifitissaidthatweshouldn’tbeattachedtotheconditioned,itsoundslikewe’vegottogetridoftheconditioned,andthenwhatwe’releftwithistheunconditioned.Doesthatmeanthen,thatifIletgoofthebody,itdisappears?OrdoIjustgointoatranceandnolongerfeelanything?Or,isitthattheunconditionedmindfulnessincludesthebody,thefeelings,thereactionsthatIexperiencethroughpraiseandblame,successandfailure?

Theconditionedandunconditionedarenotopposed–thatkindofdualismdoesn’tapply.Ourpracticeoffersaparadigmofwholeness,completeness.It’sdevelopingaharmoniousbalance,wherewecanrespondtocontingenciesinvariouswaysthatareappropriatetotheparticularsituationinthemoment.Itisnotnarrowlydefinedintermsofmoralconductas‘rightlivelihood,rightunderstanding,rightaction,rightspeech’,whichiswhatwereadinbooks.It’sabouthavingtheabilitytorespondtotheconditionsinthepresent,throughdiscernment;thatisrightunderstanding,orsammā-ditthi.

It’sveryimportanttoseehowwetendtoabsolutizetheextremitiesofexperience.Takeheavenandhell:heavenbecomesanabsolute,hellbecomesanabsolute.Trueandfalse,rightandwrong,goodandbadarethesame.Religiousterminologycandothisalso:‘myreligionisrightandifyoudon’tagreewithmethenyourreligioniswrong’.Thisisoneoftheproblemswefaceintheworld:eachpersonfixes,absolutizestheextremitiesortheconditions.

PractisingTheMiddleWay

TheMiddleWayisimportant,butreallyit’sthepracticeorthepatipadāthatisthepoint.Majjhimāpatipadā,beingpresenthereandnow,withtheconditionsthatyou’reexperiencing.Thatis,watchinghere,beingawarehere.Thiscansoundlikebecomingacoldobserver.Sothat,whenpeoplesay‘you’rewonderful’or‘you’reterrible’,youabideinasuperiorindifferencetobothpraiseandblame.Practisingmindfulness,however,doesnotinvolvethinkingweareimmediatelybeyondalltheworldlydhammasandhavenothingtodowiththemanymore.

Aswedevelopthepracticeofmindfulness,wedofindwebegintooperatefromspontaneityandfromwisdomratherthanfrompersonalviewsaboutrightandwrongorwhatsomeoneelsesaysorwhatsocietywants.Forexample,wemightbegintoobservehowwebecomeself-consciousaboutwhatthe

neighboursthink;iftheypraiseorblameus.Wetrytoactinawaythatispraisedbythesociety,outoffear,ratherthanoutofunderstandingorwisdom.Weworryaboutoffendingpeopleorofsayingsomethingwrongorof‘rockingtheboat’.It’sacontinuousexperienceofdis-ease,toalwaysbeworriedaboutwhatotherpeoplethink.Thiscanberecognizedaswelearntowatchourminds.

Whenwe’retrulyawareofourownsenseofworryaboutwhatpeoplethink,wecandiscernthatwhatisawareofthisisnottheworldlydhammas.Awarenessknowstheworldlydhammas,theegoandthesenseof‘me’,rightandwrongandgoodandbad.ThisinsightintotheNobleTruths,then,givesussammā-ditthi.Mindfulnessbringsusintoaharmoniousrelationshipwithallconditionedphenomena,andthismeansthateverythingweexperiencethroughconsciousnesscanbeseenforwhatitis.Ourresponse,then,isappropriatetothetime,theplaceandthepeoplewe’rewith.

TheEscapeHatch

Theescapefromtheborn,thecreated,theformed,theconditioned,therefore,ismindfulness.Itistheescapehatchtotheunborn,uncreated,unformed,unconditioned.Ithasnoquality–itisn’tsomethingascientistcanprove–youhavetoknowityourself.Itisanintuitiveawareness.ThethirdoftheFourNobleTruthsistherecognitionofthecessationofconditionedphenomena.Inotherwords,toletconditionscease,wehavetoletgoofthem,becauseallconditionsarebornorcreated,theyariseand,ifwejustleavethemalone,theydotheirthingandsubside.Inotherwordswhatarises,ceases.We’retheobserverofitspresenceandabsence.Thatisalevelofawarenessthatisnotblockedorobstructedbyattachmentandignorance.

Awarenessisadiscerningability;itseeshownottocreatesufferingaroundtheconditionsthatweexperienceinthebodyandintheconditionedmind.Theunborn,uncreated,unformed,unconditioned,andtheborn,thecreated,theformed,theconditionedarenotopposedtoeachother–oneholdstheother.Withoutthisparadigm,we’djustbehelplessvictimsofconditioningwithnopossiblewaytodealwithit.We’djustbeprogrammedearlyinlifeandcontinuetooperatelikeacomputer,untilsomebodychangedtheprogramorthebatteriesworeout.

Desire

Withmindfulnesswecanseedesire.Thisrealmisadesirerealm.Thisisadesireform–itsnatureisdesire.It’stanhā,it’salwaysseekingrebirth.Thisiswhere,whenweinvestigatepaticcasamuppāda(dependentorigination),webegintoseehowthedesiresaresuchthat,aslongasthere’savijā(ignorance),thenwetendtobecaughtupindesires,andalwaysseekingrebirth.Whenweareboredordisillusioned,wewantsomethingpleasant;wedesiretoberebornagaininapleasantorexcitingsense,whetherit’smentaloremotional.Thisisaformofrebirth;adesiremovingtowardsawombofsomesort,somethingtogetborninto.

TheBuddhistteachingistogettoknowdesire.It’snotaboutgettingridofit.It’snotcondemningdesireassomethingbad,orthatwe’vegottoconquerorgetridofit.Ashumanindividuals,wehavedesireforms,andthisisadesirerealm.Thisisthewaythingsare.Desire,forexample,istheconditioningthatmotivatesustoseektoprocreatethespecies,ortodomanyotherthings.Theonlypossiblewaywecanrecognizethedeathlessrealityisthroughmindfulness.Wecan’tcreatethedeathless,andit’snotsomethingseparatefromuswhichistobefound.Practicemeansrecognizingit,wakingupandobserving.Justbytryingtoimaginedeathlessrealityandlookingforit,wemissit,becausewe’renotawareofityet.

RealizingTheDhamma

Whenwecultivatemindfulness,webegintodiscerninordinarysituations–notjustwhenweareonmeditationretreats.Thisdiscerningability,aswerecognizeitandappreciateit,becomesself-sustaining.Therigorousvolitioninvolvedinstructuredpracticebeginstofallaway.What’sleftisawareness,andtherelationshiptothevipakka-kamma(theresultofpreviousintentionalaction)thatwe’reexperiencinginthepresent,whateveritmightbe.

WhentheBuddharealizedtheDhammaatthetimeofhisenlightenmentheinitiallythought,‘Nobodycanunderstandthis,becauseitisintuitiveknowledge’.Howareyougoingtoteachintuitiontosomebody?Howdoyouformulateit?Wordsthemselvesaresolimited;they’reaboutextremities.Yougettangledupinyourthoughtsandviews,andwe’reallhighlyconditionedtoseethingsfromculturalattitudesandpersonalkamma.Inthefilm‘TheLittleBuddha’therewerefantasticscenesoftheBuddha(beforehisenlightenment)sittingunderthebodhitreeasvariousbeautiful,frighteningandmonstroustemptations,runningthewholegamutoffearanddesirepresentedthemselves.TheforcesofMāra,weresaying,‘Whoareyou,sittingundertheBodhitree,whodoyouthinkyouare?Getoutofthere!’ThenTaranitheMotheroftheEarthcameforthandsaid,‘Hehasmypermissiontobeinthisplaceofenlightenment.’Thenoutofherhaircameaflowofwater.Shewashedawaytheconditions,andtheasceticGotamacouldreflect.

Onbecomingenlightened,anotherdeityappeared,urgingtheBuddhatogoforthandteachtheDhamma,astherearethosewithonlyalittledustintheireyes.Thisisquitesignificant,becausetryingtoteachtheDhammaisnotaneasythingtodo;it’ssoeasytogetcaughtintheintellectandtoholdontodogmasandreligiouspositions.SowhenyoureadtheBuddha’sfirstsermon,whichistheFourNobleTruths,noticetheskilfulnessofthatteaching.Ihaveagreatrespectforthisbrilliantteaching,butitdoestakepatipadā–ittakessincerepractice.It’snotjustaniceideaorBuddhismperseIt’sactuallyaclearpointinginaspecificdirection–atyourheart.

Watchyourheart,observe.Betheobserver,betheknower,notthecondition.Mindfulnessistheescapehatch.

SoIofferthisforyourreflection.

1Eightwordlydhammas:praise/blame,gain/loss,happiness/unhappiness,fame/insignificance.

Invincibility

AdaptedfromatalkgiventothemonasticcommunityatWatPahNanachatin2011

LuangPorKhemadhammowasborninEnglandin1944.HebecameasamaneraatWatMahadhatin1971andwasordainedasabhikkhuatWatPahPongin1972.HeaccompaniedLuangPorChahtoLondonin1977andhasbeenactiveinprisonchaplaincyovertheyears.In2003hewasappointedOBEforservicestoprisoners.In2004,hewasappointedChaoKhunwiththeecclesiasticaltitleof

PhraBhavanaviteht.

“Yougetfitbylearningrestraintandlearningtorelyonsimplicity.”

NormallyIamtobefoundlivinginasmallforesthermitageintheveryHeartofEngland,notfarfromStratford-upon-Avon.IlivemylifethereasaforestmonkmuchasIlearnttoliveitmanyyearsagoundertheguidanceofAjahnChahatWatPahPongbutwithadifference.WhileweweretogetherduringhisstayinLondonin1977,withhisagreementIacceptedandbeganwhatturnedouttobealongstandingcommitment–somehavecalleditalongsentence-toenableBuddhismtobeavailabletoprisonersinBritishprisons.YearsagoIobservedthatwhilemostpeoplecouldeasilycometothetempleiftheywantedto,prisonerscouldnot,sowemusttakethetempletothem.Andthatmissionhasovertheyearsgrowntowherenowittakesupagreatdealofmytime,notonlyinvisitingprisonsandprisoners,butinadvisingprisonsandthePrisonServiceonBuddhistmatters,andinleadingAngulimāla,theBuddhistPrisonChaplaincywithitsteamofBuddhistchaplains.ButonceayearIleaveallthisbehindandIgobacktomymonasticroots,toWatPahPong,tojointhegrandoccasiononthe16thJanuary,theanniversaryofAjahnChah’spassing,whenwegathertopayourrespectsandtoprocessaroundtheAjahnChahchediwherehisrelicsareenshrinedandwherehisbodywascrematedataStatefuneralin1993.

IdothatandImaintainadeterminationtodothateveryyearbecauseIvalueenormouslythecontributionthatAjahnChahhasmadetomylifeandthelivesofthousands,perhapsmillionsofothers.IamverygratefulthatIwasabletogotoThailandandordainandpractiseandlivewithhimatWatPahPong.Itookmyselfthere,Iwasn’tinvited,butIwasacceptedandallowedtostayandIwasfedandcaredfor.ThepeoplewhosupportedWatPahPonganditsbranchmonasterieswereextremelygeneroustome,toallofusfromoverseas.Theywelcomedus,theysupportedus,putfoodinourbowlseveryday,andenabledustolivethelifeofaBuddhistmonkandtopractisemeditation.Weweresolucky:wehadamarvellousplaceinwhichtodevelopourselvesandwewereinthepresenceofanextraordinaryteacher,althoughashebecamemorefamous,beingclosetohimbecameincreasinglydifficult.ButIwasespeciallyfortunate.ForalmostayearIstayedatWatKeun,a

placewhereheusedtocomeonoccasions,usuallywithoutanywarning,tohaveafewhoursrestandstaythenightandthenwewouldhavehimtoourselves.Lateronin1977,whenhewasinvitedtoEngland,Iwentalongaswellandfortwomonthslivedparticularlyclosetohim.Thatwasagreattime,especiallywhenyoureflectthathehasn’ttaughtnowforthirtyyears:thelast10yearsofhislifehewasbedriddenandcouldneitherwalknortalknordoanythingforhimselfandnowit’salmosttwentyyearssincehepassedaway.Thosethenwerespecialtimesthatwon’tcomeagain;thegenerationsmoveonandtimeandtidewaitsfornoone,neithermannorwoman,monknornun.

NowasIamgettingolderIamanxioustokeepalivetheexampleandthetraditionthatheestablished.Whathetaughtwasnotjustpracticalbutrevolutionaryinitsimpact.Hemadethewholebusinessofbeingamonkreallywork.Inmanymonasteriesandtemples,ascaneasilybeseen,thedisciplinesandthetraditionsarenotupheldandnooneseemstocareortoseemuchpointinthem.Neitherthemonkstherenorthelaityseemtograsphowthemonasticdisciplineandtraditionsrelatetopracticeanddevelopment.ButAjahnChahunderstoodandhemadeitallwork.Hewasofcourseanextraordinarycharacter.Hewasverykind,epitomisingmetta,butfirmandunyieldinginhisprinciples,andhecouldbeveryfierce,turninginaninstantintothemostterrifyingspeciesofmonk-eatingtigeryoucanimagine!Heexpectedagoodandproperstandardtobemaintainedandacceptednothingless.WehadtodoourbesttofitinbutasforeignersfromtheWestwewereoftenprivileged,andcertainlyheenjoyedourpeculiaritiesandwasamusedbyourclumsinessandmistakes,butstillhewasdeterminedtopushusandstretchusandoftenitfeltmorelikebeingthrowninatthedeependandexpectedtoswim.Hewasunique.Therehavebeenveryfewteachersofhisstatureandveryfewtraditionsthathavehadanythingliketheimpactthathehad,especiallyinsucharelativelyshorttime.

Ofcourse,walkingroundthechedieveryyear,makingofferingsandbowingisn’tthatdifficult.Reallyit’stheeasybit.Didn’ttheBuddhasaythatthebestwayofreverencinghimwasbypractisingwhathetaught?AndthesameoughttobesaidofanygreatBuddhistteacherorofanyteacheratallworththename.Butthat’salwaysthedifficultbit,especiallywhenit’saBuddhistteacherofthestatureofAjahnChah.

TocallyourselfaBuddhistimpliesfollowingwhattheBuddhataught,endeavouringtopractiseashedidandtryingtogowhereheled.BuddhistmonksoughttobepractisingtheVinayaandalifestyledesignedandpurpose-builtfortherealisationofNibbāna.Well,that’swhatitoughttobebutI’mafraidthatnowadaysformonksandforallsortswhocallthemselvesBuddhistit’snotlikethat.FormanytherealpurposeinbeingaBuddhistorBuddhistmonkhasbeenlostorperhapsneverreallyunderstoodorevenknownatall.Andthat’swhythebigbeastsoftheThaiForesttradition,thelikesofAjahnMunandAjahnChah,havebeensoimportant.I’mnotsurewhetheryouwouldcallAjahnChahareformerforhewasinmanywaysdeeplyconservativeandtraditionalbutheunderstoodthesuper-objectiveofthosetraditions,thoseBuddhistteachingsanddisciplinesandhemadethemwork.

WhenIfirstarrivedinBangkokImetafriendwhomIhadknownwhenwe’dbothattendedtheoldWatBuddhapadipaatEastSheenontheoutskirtsofLondon.HehadsetoffbeforemeandhavingtravelledinIndiahadfetchedupinThailandandI’dheardhewasalreadyaforestmonk.I’ddoneIndiaandtheHolyPlacesandnowIwasinThailand,anewlyordainednovicenotquiteknowingwheretogoorwhattodoandsuddenly,quiteunexpectedly,thisfriendandIwerefacetofaceonaBangkokpavement.Irememberhissayingtome,“Ifyouwanttobearealmonkthenthere’sonlyoneplacetogo,WatPahPong.”Well,thatwasit,whatcouldIdoafterthat,whereelsecouldIgo!ButwhenIdideventuallygettoWatPahPongandhadbeenacceptedandallowedtostay,Ijustcouldn’tat

firstgraspwhatwassospecialaboutAjahnChah,whichdidn’tmakemeexactlypopularwithsomeoftheforeignmonkswhowerealreadythereandwhohaddevelopedastrongfaithinhim.Butthen,evenbeforeI’dbeguntofallunderhisspell,Ididcatchontowhathehadcreated:aformidableopportunity,asuitableplaceandsupportiveenvironmentequippedwiththeeffectiveandpowerfultoolsofthebhikkhulife.

Forthoseyoungeronesjustbeginning,justsettingoutonthispath,myadviceistodothememorisingandlearntheskillsofmonasticlifewhileyoucan.Youmightnotbelieveitnowbutlaterinlifealotofthingsbecomemoredifficult.IcanrememberwhenLuangPorChahbecameaChaoKhunandwasmadeanupajjhāyahehadtolearntheordinationchanting,especiallythelongsermoninPalithatisgivenattheendofabhikkhuordination,andhecouldn’t.AndIwassurprisedthatheofallpeoplecouldonlywithgreatdifficultylearnsomethingnew.FurtherbackwhenIwasanactorandattheNationalTheatre,mybosswasLaurenceOlivier,inhisearlysixtiesandatthetimeprobablythemostfamousactorintheworld,andhecouldn’tlearnhislines.Foroneplayhehadtohaveacopyofthescript,openattheappropriatepage,readywithhisglasses,onalecternandplacedinthewingsbyeveryentrancesothathecouldhaveaquicklookbeforehewenton.ThenIcouldn’tunderstandit,butIdonow.Sodon’tputoffestablishingyourselvesfirmlyintheVinayaandtheskillsandtraditionsofthebhikkhulife.Learnthemwellwhileyoucanandtheywillstaybyyouandserveyouthroughallmanneroftrialsanddifficulties.

Andtherewillbedifficulties.Practisedwell,thismonasticlifewillmakelifedifficultforyouandthenwillmakeiteasy.Why?Becauseitwillshowupyourkilesāsintechnicolourandwithnowheretogotoavoidthem,increasinglyyou’llhavenoalternativebuttofaceyourdefilements,livewiththem,watchthem,understandthemandlearntoletgoofthem.That’swhy,havingmadelifedifficultforyouitendsupmakingiteasy.

AjahnChahmadethebhikkhulifeworkbykeepingthingssimple.WehavetheVinaya,wehavetraditionalwaysofdoingthings,wehavemeditationpractice,andyearsbackwehadfewbooks.Hesawourdependenceonbooksandtriedtobreakusofit.Irememberhimsayingtousthatweshouldtrynottoreadforatleastayear.InfactwehadhardlyanythinginEnglishtoreadandthatdidmakeitquitedifficultforustolearnthedetailsoftheVinaya.WehadcopiesofthePātimokkhaandtheVinayamukha(TheEntrancetotheVinaya)volumesoneandtwo,butthatwasaboutit.Therestwehadtoworkoutorstruggletofindoutfromothermonks.Andthatdidkeepitallprettysimple,whichIhaverealisedastheyearshavegonebyisthebestway.Don’tcomplicatethings,keepitallsimpleandstraightforward.Learntojustdowhathastobedone,observetherules,goouttodowhateverworkthereiswhenitistimetowork,sitandmeditatewhenit’stimetomeditate,anddoyourbitandplayyourpartinthelifeofthecommunity.Thenitallworkswellandyoucanreflectonyourself,watchyourself,andknowyourself.Livingandpractisinglikethatkeepsyourmindrelativelyclearandyoudon’tthinktoomuch.Thinkingtoomuchyoucanreallygetyourselfinaterribletangle,yourmindturningandtwistingthiswayandthat.Don’tdoit:keepyourmindclearandconfrontyourkilesā.

Interestingly,intheWest,itseemstomethatBuddhistsdon’twanttoknowtoomuchaboutkilesā.Theylovereadingandtalkingaboutcompassionandallthatinspiringstuff,butdiscipline,eventhefiveprecepts,isn’tpopularandkilesāhardlygetsalookin.Butreallyinordertodosomethingaboutourlivesweneedtounderstandwhatitisthatisspoilingourmindsandcomingbetweenusandrealpeaceandhappiness.ThisBuddhistlifeleadsyou,wellitdoesn’tleadyouanywhereelsebutadirect

confrontationwiththesedifficultiesandachancetounderstandthemandbefreeofthem.AstimegraduallyremovesusfurtherandfurtherfromthedayswhenAjahnChahwasaliveandactive,weseesomeofthepracticesanddisciplineshemaintainedslipping.Ofcoursethere’salwaysagoodreasonnottositupallnightontheObservancenightsorkeepthevariousdhutangasthathavecharacterisedthetraditionestablishedbyAjahnMunandhisdisciples.Buthonestly,aren’tthosegoodreasonsreallykilesā?That’swhythesedisciplinesareimportant,theyshowupourshortcomingsandhelpustogoagainstthem.Whenweabandonthesepracticesweareindangerofgivingintoourdefilements.Droppingthemcanbeaslipperyslopethatendswithyouhavingnopracticaltoolsleftwithwhichtodevelopandshapeyourself.Sobecareful.

Thedefilementsthatspoilourmindsareessentiallygreed,aversionanddelusion.Whenyouwatchyourself,youseevariationsonthesethemesallthetime.Linkedtoyourdelusionisthisstrongattachmenttoself,ego,andallthetroublethatbrings.Itisinvaluabletobewatchful,tobegintoseetheseinnerattitudes,andthenasitprogressesyourpracticetakesyoupastthattoobservingthenatureoftheseattitudes,howtheycomeandgo,riseandfall.Itisimportantthatyouareabletowatchandseeallthisforyourself,wearenotinterestedinjustlearningwhattheBuddhataught.Yes,headvisedthecontemplationofwhateverisexperiencedasimpermanent,sufferingandnon-self.Butyouhavetodoit,youhavetoseeitforyourself;andtoexperienceit.Buddhistteachingandpracticeisaboutexperience,itisnotabouttheory.Itisnotsomecomforttaleorstory,orvieworopinion.Itisaboutliving:livingexperience.Itisguidingustoinvestigateourexperienceandbegintounderstandit.Withthatunderstandingcomesthispricelessabilitytoletgo.OneofthethingsAjahnChahbecamefamousforwastalkingaboutlettinggo.Nowit’seasytoparrotthat,butyouhavetotrytounderstandwhatitmeansandhowtoletgo.Youletgoofattachmentsbyunderstanding,byseeingandknowingforyourselfwhatyoudo,yourhabitsandwhatyourlifeisabout.Yes,thispracticeisaboutcalmingandconcentratingthemind,butitisalsoaboutdoingthatforapurpose,notjust‘blankingout’,whichpeopleoftenassociatemeditationwith.Itisaboutsharpening,andlearningtoinvestigate,turningyourattentioninward,watchingandbeingincreasinglyhonestaboutwhatyousee.Itisafabulousapproachtothisproblemoflife.Allthetechniquesandallthetraditionsaretheretodrawyoutolookcloseratyourselfandtobeableeventuallytoletgo,andtobeatease,tobefreefromyoursuffering.

IcanremembervividlylisteningtoLuangPorChahandwatchinghimashetoldustonotfeedthekilesā.Thekilesāsareliketigers,hesaid,andifyoufeedyourtigerhegetsstrongerandstronger,heroarsandhedominatesyourlifeandisreallydangerous.Butifyougraduallywithdrawhisfood,ifyoustopfeedingthattiger,thenwhathappens?IrememberLuangPorChahactingitoutforus,“Hegetsweakerandweaker,andeventuallyhewilldie.”Soitiswithyourkilesā.Iamafraidthatifyouignorethedisciplinesyouendupfeedingkilesāandthenyourdefilementsgatherstrength.Sobecareful,disciplineshelpus,theyhelpustoseeourkilesāandtoconfrontthem.Thatiswhythosegreatmonks,inwhoseshadowswewalk,keptthesedhutangapracticesverystrictlyandverycarefully.

Discipliningyourselvesanddenyingyourselfafewthingsbuildsupyourabilitytoendure.Youbuildupyourstrength.Andthatisimportanttoo,youhavetoexercisetostretchyourself,tomakeyourselftougherandbetterabletocope.NowadaysinEngland,Iamofagenerationthatworriesabitwhenweseechildrentakentoschoolbycar,takenhereandtakenthere.WhenIwasakidIwalkedtoschoolfromtheageoffive.Iwastakentoschoolonce,andafterthatIwalked.Weweretaughttolookafterourselvesandbeindependent.Ifwewerebulliedthenwesoonlearnthowtohandleit.Butnowadaysitisallsafeandeveryonehastobenanniedandlookedafter,andofcoursepeoplearenotfit.Ajahn

Chahusedtosaythatgoodmonksarelikegoodsoldiers,theycancareforthemselves.Youneedtobelikethatbutyoudon’tgetlikethatbybeingsloppyorhavingtohavesomethingtostickinyourmouthatallhoursofthedayandnight.Yougetfitbylearningrestraintandlearningtorelyonsimplicity.Itwillstandyouingoodsteadlateron,asyougrowyouwillbetougher,youwillbeabletostanditanywhere.Butifyouareafraidofthecold,afraidoftheheat,afraidofmosquitoes,afraidofbugsandonethingandanother,itwon’thelp.Sobepreparedtostretchyourself,thenasyougrowyouwillbeabletocopewithalmostanything.InmykutiinEnglandIhaveaphotographofLuangPorChah,onehegavetomyparentswhentheyvisitedmeinThailandin1974.AjahnManapohascommentedthatinthatpictureLuangPorChahlookslikehecouldhandleanything.Thatiswhatyouneedtobelike.Youarenotmakingyourselfpreciousandspecialandinneedofspecialtreatment.Youhavegottogettowhereyoucanhandleanythingandanyone.Youdothatbyfollowingthediscipline,tighteninguponyourself,pushingyourself,beingarealwarrior.Byandby,itwon’tallcomeatonce,youwillbecomethatinvinciblesortofpersonbecauseyourmindwon’tbetroubledbyanythingandthat’swhereyouhavetogetto.Sobecarefulofalltheseluxuriesthatcomeyourwayandthespecialcareandattentionyouget.OnceayearwhenI’minThailanditisverynicenottohavetocarryanythingformyself,it’sjollynicetobefussedover,andIadmitIquiteenjoyit.Itdoesn’thappenwhenIgetbackIcantellyou,althoughAjahnManapoisverycaringandhasbeenabsolutelybrillianttomeinthetenyearshehasbeenwithme.Butapartfromthat,whenIgoouttotheprisonsIdon’tgetanyspecialtreatment.Ihavetocarrymyownstuffandputupwithpeopleshoutingoutatme,sometimesrude,sometimeswitty.AndinawayIwelcomeit.Lifeisabitmoredifficultbutthat’sallrightbecauseitkeepsmesharp.Idon’twanttogetflabby.Thisisakindofwarning.Youareinforestmonasteriestotrainyourselves.Youareheretofreeyourselves,todevelopthatinvinciblemind.Sokeepthingssimple,justdowhatyouhavetodoeachday.Doyourduties.Keepitallsimple,direct.Youwillbenefit.Addalittlebitofhardship,itwilldoyougood.ThatwillenableyoutoreaptherewardsofAjahnChah’slegacy.Andyouwillalsobeaddingtothemeritofwhatyouaredoingbymaintainingthatlegacy.

Onelastpoint,whenIvisitedSomdetBuddhajahnrecently,hisadvice,whichherepeatedseveraltimes,wasforusnottochangeanythingandtokeeptogether.

TanChaoKhunBhavanaviteht(LuangPorKhemadhammo)OBE

WhatYouTakeHomeWithYou

FromatalkgivenatInsightMeditationSociety,Barre,Massachusettsin1999

AjahnSucittowasborninLondonin1949.Hereceivedbhikkhuordinationin1976inThailand,cametoBritainin1978andwaspartoftheoriginalgroupthatestablishedCittavivekaunderAjahn

Sumedhoin1979.AjahnSucittohelpedestablishHarnhamViharain1981thenAmaravatiin1984,andin1992becamethethirdabbotofCittaviveka,whereheremainstoday.

“Whenyouhandlethepresentwithmindfulness,thefuturewillbeconditionedbyawarenessandjoy.”

Whenit’stimetoleavetheretreatorthemonastery,youhavetoleavethesituationandthestructure.You’regoingtohavetoputasidethesilence,supportandcompanionship.Youcanonlytakewithyouwhatisyours–theawareness,theskillsandtheunderstanding.That’swhyweuseroutinesandstillnesswithoutattachingtothem–becauseyoucan’ttakethemwithyou.It’sfinetocultivatethemduringretreat,butthesilenceitselfisnotthemainbenefit.Rather,themainbenefitsaremindfulnessandwisdom.Weareinvolvedwithmeditationinordertorealizethatourpsychologicalspacecanchangeradicallyforthebetter.Andwealsopractisejustforthebeautyofpractice,fortheskillsandthehappinessthatarise.Thesecanstaywithyouifyoucarrythemwiththewisdomofrightunderstanding.

YouCanTakeMindfulnesswithYou

Mindfulness,theabilitytobearwitness,isatremendouslypowerfulandskilfulfactorofmind.TheBuddhacalledmindfulnesstheflood-stopper.Itstopsthefloodsofgreed,hatred,anddelusion.Withmindfulness,wegiveourselvesachoicewithregardtofollowingwhatarisesinthemind;andkeepingthatchoiceavailableissomethingyouwanttogoondoingbecausethemindalmostlongstogettrapped–andthereareplentyofsights,sounds,flavoursandideasthatcansweepyouawayoutofawareresponsibility.Soaswecarryabodywithusallthetime,wecanusethatasabaseformindfulness;aplacewherewecanstopthefloods.Wecanturnourattentiontothebodyandjustrefertothebodyinthebody,asitis–thatis,assensations,energiesandformratherthantheimpressionsofbeautyoruglinessthatidentificationimposesuponit.Withthoseimpressions,thebodyisalwaysasourceofanxietyandagitation.Butwecanknowthatthat’sjusthowthebodyis.It’sathirty-year-oldbody,asixty-year-oldbody,orwhatever.Itbehavesthisway.Itgetsill;itlosesvitality.That’swhatitdoes.Wedon’thavetomakethatasourceofpainorhorror.Thebodyisthehomebase,theplace

wherewelearntorefertothebodyinthebody,notasasourceofvanityordesire,butjustasitis.Andwecanrefertootherpeople’sbodiesinthesameway.

It’smuchthesamewithmind-states;theydon’thavetobeburdenedwithagitation,shame,defenceorconceit.Withmindfulnesswebearmind-statesinmind,butnotinahypnotizedway.Insteadmindfulnessistobeconjoinedwithfullawareness.Fullawarenesstunesintotheethicalnatureofourcurrentmind-state;also,itisalerttothechangingnatureofwhateverweexperience.Sowhenmindfulnessandfullawarenesscomeintoplay,theyguideustowardslettinggoofthebadandaffirmingthegood,withoutmakingadramaoutofthem.Withoutthisskilfulwayofrelating,wejustidentifywiththemindstatesandrelatetothemwithshame,conceitandbuildupprogramsofneedingtocontroleverything,impulsiveness,fault-findingorself-pity.Theserelationalprogramsbecomeourthumbprints–soclosethatwedon’tevenseethem–yetwecanstampthemoneverythingandeveryonewecomeintocontactwith.Thecheck-pointiswhetherwecanrelatetomindstateswithresponsibilitybutwithoutmakingabigthingoutofthem.Canwerelatewithoutattachment,withoutstickingourthumbprintsontowhatarises,andallowastatetobeasitis?Mindfulnessandfullawarenessmakeitpossibletodoso.Andamazinglyenoughthisgivesusclaritytoletthestatepass,learnfromit,orengage–whateverisappropriate.

Soasyouleaveheretakeamindfulwayofrelatingwithyou.Noticewhenmeditatingonbreathing,howweputdemandsontoasimplethinglikethebreathing.‘Ineedtogetconcentrated!’Wecangetintoaversionaswell.‘I’muselessbecauseIcan’tbewiththebreathing.’Butthereisareleasefromrelatingintheseways.Wecanlearntotrust,toallow,tobecontentwiththewayitis.Thenthemindcanrestinthatcontentment,andletthatnaturalcalmsupportmindfulnessofyourbody’sbreathing.Thensamadhiarises–notoutofforcingthemindontothebreathbutoutofarelationshipofease,contentment,trust,andsteadiness.

Ourentirelivesareaboutthepossibilityofrightrelationship.Aswelearnthis,everythingopensup.Therewillalwaysbesomethingtorelateto–fromthemostintimatetotheglobal,fromoneotherpersontoacommunity,groupornation,fromthelivingtothedead.Truerelationshipisadynamicexperience,isn’tit?It’snotafixedorstaticthing.It’sawayofbeingthatinvolvestheopennessandtheskilltobepresentwiththewayitis.Ifwedon’tdothat,therelationshipbecomesdistortedwithprojections.Consider,forexample,howmanyhumanrelationshipsgetdistortedbecausetheyfollowthewrongimpulses.‘Iwantyoutobethisway.You’vegottobelikethisforme.’Aslongaswe’recomingfromself-interestwe’llalwaysseethingsintermsofhowwewantthemtobe,andthiscanonlybeaverylimitedperspective.Followit,andthere’sdisappointment,bitterness,andbetrayal.

Butthere’sawayoutofthat,throughDhammapractice.Thisbringsusmoreclearlyintolife.It’snotaboutlatchingontoaparticularfeeling,mood,perception,orsituation.Dhammapracticeslikemindfulness,patienceandclarityhelpustorelatetowhat’sgoingonwithmorespaciousnessandlessdemandsandpressure;onecanevenlearnaboutone’sstickinessinalightway.‘Oh,Iseewhat’shappening.Themindisdoingthis.’Wecanletgoofit.Thenlifeisbasedonclarity.It’sinteresting.It’ssomethingyoucanempathizewith.Whenwegetstuckinourself-perspectives,wegetcrankyandstubbornanddefensive,rigidorinflamed.Soweneedtokeepusingmindfulnessandfullawarenesstolearnnottotakeourownperspectivesasultimate.Thenwecangrowintermsofempathy,clarityandease.

Ifwecancultivateinthisway,wearriveatwhatiscalledatammayatā,whichmeans‘notmakingout

ofit.’Thingsarehappeningastheyarerightnow.Atammayatāisthewisdomthatrelinquishesmakingthingsoutofarisenphenomena.Butit’snotanunwillingnesstorespond.Itmeansthatwedon’tkeeprunningourhabitsandcompulsiveprogramsthroughlife.Weleaveourlife-story,withitstragedies,heroesandvillainsbehind.Thiswiserelinquishmentcomesthroughmindfulnessandawareness.Thatis,themindtunesintothewaythingsarerightnow,andfindsthatitfeelssteadyandcomplete.Anditfeelsmoreintouchthisway,thanwhenitgoesintojudgmentsandopinionsandtriestomakethingshappeninaccordancewiththem.Awiserresponsecanthenarise,asandwhenandhowitfits.

Somindfulnesssupportswisdom,thewisdomtorecognizethedifferencebetweenhowthingsaregoingandthehabitualimpressionsandreactionsthatweconstructaroundthat.Andaswebegintoseethingsaschangingeventsratherthanfixedrealities,themindcomesoutofitsownfrozenorcompulsivestates.Inthatawakening,themind’scentreshifts.Itfeelssteadyyetlight.Oncethereisaccesstothislightness,thisnon-attachment,itcanprogressivelydeepen.Westopgettingsointenseaboutourhabits,andaccordinglyapproachthemmoreskilfully.Weapproachthemfromthenon-attachmentthatdefusesanddischargesthem.

LivingtheDhammarequiresaskilfulhandling,agentleunravellingofourtightly-heldcomplexities.Whenwecanhandleourmind’sviewsandenergies,thenwecanshareitsrichpotentialwithoneanother.Ratherthanconstantlyintensifyingmeandmine,wecanlivelightly,share,andenjoy.Wecanactwithoutmakingabigdealoutofit.Andabasisforactionwithnon-attachmenttopraise,blameandself-imageryisagreatthingtotakewithyou.

YouCanTakeUnderstandingwithYou

Youcantakeunderstandingwhereveryougo,bylookingoutforthreesigns.Thesesignsmaynotsoundveryattractive,becausetheyarethequalitiesofunsatisfactoriness,impermanence,andnot-selfthatcanbediscernedinourexperience.Intermsofconditionedreality,thesethreesignsaretruemarkersthatrunthroughwhatwesee,think,taste,feelanddo.

Thinkaboutthese.Thereis‘unsatisfactoriness’(dukkha).Thisdoesn’tmeanthateverythingismiserableandwretched;itmeansthatthereisasenseofincompleteness.We’dlikethingstobeconsistentandordered,buttheyrarelyare.Unsatisfactorinessoccursindifferentways.Firstofallthereisthenaturallawofthingsbreakingdown,orbeinginconsistent.Thisiscalled‘sabhāvadukkha’:thewaythatnatureis.Thereispain.Theworldisalwaysunresolved.Lifeisn’tfairanddoesn’thavestraightedges.Relationshipskeepgoinginandoutofkilter.Wecanconceiveoflifeasifitshouldruninstraightlines,butyouwon’tfindastraightlineintheuniverse.Evenlightbends.

Wecanhoweverbeupright!Intermsofmorality,andofhowwerelatetowhatwe’rewith,wecanbethatbalanceduprightnessthatwitnessesthewobblynatureofexperienceandmakespeacewiththat.Andwecancontemplateanyunsatisfiedfeelingthatcomesintoourminds.Thisformofdukkha(sankhatadukkha)issomethingthatourmindscompound;andit’sanexperiencethatwecandosomethingabout.Inthissensedukkhaisafeelingthatoccursasaconsequenceofwantingthingstobefull,complete,reasonable,steady….Mostpoignantlyitoccursaroundphysicalpain,orthesenseofseparationfromtheloved.Thisiswherewe’rereallytested,astowhetherwegointofrustration,depression,ordenial;whetherwereactandcompoundanunsatisfactorymind-setaroundthedukkhaofbeingalive–orwhetherweuseDhammatomeetandcomeoutofallthat.

TocomeoutofthosereactionsisthecruxofDhammapractice:throughthispracticewedevelopthecapacitytomeetthesabhāvadukkhawithpatience,compassion,andequanimity.Andtogeneratethesequalitiesinourselvesatthisveryimportantmeeting-placeiswhatmindfulnessandfullawarenessareabout.

Thesignofdukkhaisnotacausefordespair,butratherapointertowhereweneedtoletgoofnaivetyandgrowmatureinlife.Throughmeetingdukkhawecomefullytolife.Lifeisflowing,rhythmicandcomeswithforcesthatwecan’tcontrol.Topassthenthroughdukkhatoaserenecentreinourselvestherehastobethedevelopmentofgreatstrengths,greatfaithandgreatheart.Thereforeweshouldtaketheexhortationwithustopractisewithwhateverdukkhaarises;it’sthisthatmakesusgrow.

Thesecondsignisthatofimpermanence,inconstancyoruncertainty–anicca.Considerthewaythatexpectationestablishesthingsinthefuture,howitsetsupthewishforthingstobethiswayorthatway.Thesignofimpermanencechallengesthat:aniccaalsocarriestheimplicationofcompleteuncertainty.Frommomenttomoment,thingsareshiftingandchanging.Youcan’tanticipatewhat’sgoingtocomeup.Youdon’tknow.Whatdoesthatdotoyourplansandsenseofsecurity?Itcanfeelscary,butthissign,likethatofdukkha,catalyzesthedevelopmentofgreatheartandgreatfreedom.

Aniccaisverygoodforhelpingusbreakoutofoursenseoftime.Timeisanabstraction.Wecreateitasalinearthing,somethingthatmovesforward.Butcontemplatethat.Howlonghasthisweekbeen?Tendays?Someonesaidthatyesterdayfeltlikeforty-eighthours.Andyet,what’stensecondsofpain?Howlongisashower?Howlongisacoldshower?

Timethenisameasureofdesire–desireforcontinuity,desireforacertainoutcome.Itparalyzesusintoexpectationandanticipationordreadandworry.Weskipoverthepresentmomentandgetlostinsomethingweimagineisoutthereinthevirtualrealitywecallthefuture.Onecanspendone’slifethinkingaboutthefuture–forexample,‘WhenIgethome,I’ll...’Butinthepurestsense,thereisn’tanyfuture.Weareonlyeverhere.

Howgoodishavingafutureanyway?It’saburdenwhenitmakesyouthink,‘Oh,I’vegottodothis.I’vegottodothat’or,‘It’sgoingtobelikethisandlikethat,’or,‘maybethere’ssomethingIshouldbeorcouldbe…WellmaybeIcould,orperhapsI’llneverbeableto....’Whatdothesethingsfeellike?Wecanspendquitealotoftimeinmeditationtryingtoputasidethepastandthefuturebecausewe’vebecomesoattunedtothatwayofexperiencingthings–thepastandthefuture.That’sourconditioning.Meditating,tryingtogetintothepresentmoment,cantakequiteabitofskill.Butthemorethatonecanabideinthepresent,theeasierthemeditationwillbe.

Inthisrespect,thecapacitytoliveinuncertaintycanhelp.Wecandevelopthecapacitytolivefreefromthepressureoftime.Butit’snotaboutimaginingthattherewillbenofuture…that’sanotherexpectationaboutthefuture.No,theskillsthatyoudevelopinbeingfullytunedintothepresentandmeetingandmanagingwhatariseswillsupportafuturebasedonclarityandbalance.Thefuturearisesoutoftheconditionsinthepresent,sowhenyouhandlethepresentwithmindfulness,thefuturewillbeconditionedbyawarenessandjoyratherthanbyanxietyandbias.Joycomesfromtheinitiativeandthecouragetomeettheinconstantandtheuncertain.Takethosewithyoutoo!

Thethirdsign,‘not-self’,anattā,isforthepsychologicalcontext.Ifyoulookatanywayinwhichyousenseyourself,youseethatitalsodependsonaninferredother-than-self.Becauseofthissense

of‘me’thereisalso‘theother ’,the‘whatIshouldbe,whatImightbeseenas’andsoon.Thetwofacetsgohand-in-hand.Thingsonlyexist,arenotableorrecognizable,becausetheiroppositesalsoexists.‘Thisisme,thisismine.Iendattheedgeofmyskin.Otherthingsexist,too,andtheyareoutthere,somewhereelse.’Wheneverthere’sanexperienceof‘mine’,there’sanexperienceof‘nothingtodowithme’.There’saplacecalled‘away’whichissomewhereelse.‘Idon’twantthissoIthrowitaway.’‘Nothingtodowithme.’Onagloballevel,youcanseetheresultsofthiskindofthinking.Thisiswhatallthepollutionisabout,isn’tit?We’realwaystryingtofindapitinwhichtoburythings,dumpthemovertheside,orlooktheotherway.It’sgone!It’sgoneaway.Butthereisn’tany‘away.’Wehavewaysofswitchingofffromwhatwecan’tbear.Butreallytherearen’tanyfinal‘aways.’Thedarksideliveswithus,doesn’tit?Anditonlygetsdarkerifwedon’tmeetitwithwisdomandcompassion.

Thereisn’tanygettingawayfromyourmindeither.Aslongasit’sexperiencedinawaythatsuggeststhatyouareaselfwhocangetawayfromyourthoughts,emotionsandmemories,thenyouhaven’tdevelopedtherightrelationship.Whenyoulearntorelateappropriatelytothethingsthatyoudon’tlikeaboutyourself…whenyoustoptryingtogetawayfromyourself…thenyoubegintoexperienceyourselffromadifferentbasis.Yourelatetotheseexperiencesastheyarise,ratherthandenyingthemas‘notme’orgetstuckinthemas:‘ThisiswhatIam.’Andit’sthesamethingwhenrelatingtoothers:ifotherpeoplearealways‘gettinginmyway’and‘takingupmytime’and‘botheringme’,it’stimetoconsider:‘Whatdoesthisshowmeaboutmymind-set?Whatmakestheothernessof“otherpeople”?’Isn’tittheviewthatimaginesseparateselvesatthecentreofit?Andaren’talltheseselvestintedbyourbiasesandreactions?Butwithmindfulawarenessoftheexperienceofselfandother,weseethatitisthesetintsandassumptionsthatreallyformself.Itisthis‘self-view’thatclogsupourabilitytorelate.

Wecancolourlifewiththedarknessofourownignorance,biasorinabilitytobewithwhatarises.Buthowlonelyitiswhenwefollowthisself-view!There’salackoftrust,alackofease,alackofsharing.Peoplecanfeeldreadfullyaloneandthatexperienceofalonenessisevenmoreconsciousingroupsofpeople.Youmaynotevenexperienceitwhenyouareonyourown.AlonenessisasenseofalienationfromtheotherswhoIsensearoundme.Someoftheloneliestplacesarecitiesorrailwaystationsorairports.Therearethousandsofpeoplemillingaroundallbeing‘other ’.Onecanfeelquiteconfused,threatened,evenfrightened.There’snothingmorefrighteningthanacrowdofpeoplebeing‘others’.

Withunderstanding,wecanworkwiththemechanismsthatmakeitthatway.Wecanlookintoourpsychologyandrelaxtheactivitiesthatreject,dismiss,screenout,orpushawaythe‘other ’.Ifyou’realittlespeckinanindifferentorhostileuniversethenyou’vegottogetsomethingandhavesomethingandbesomething.Youbecometheonlyplaceofsafetyandcontrolinthecosmos.That’satoughjobdescriptiontoliveupto,butthattightness,thatsenseofalienationiswhat‘self-view’doestoyou.Sotaketheexhortationtolookinto‘selfandother ’withyou;itcanunfoldintogreatcompassionandfreedom.

LetGreatHeartTakeYou

Dhamma-practicecangiveyoutheboundariesofmoralityandthebuoyancytoallowyoutobewith,butnotoverwhelmedby,theupsanddownsanduncertaintiesoflife.Youfeelyourselfbeinglived,breathedinandout.Andwhenyouopenintothissenseofanuncontrolledease,youcanexperience

thegreatheart.Thisisthesensethatcanfeelunconfinedbyseparation.Itcanwidentoembracethehurt,andinthatwideningsensebeastill,serenecentre.Fromgreatheartcomemettā,theinclinationtowardswell-beingforoneselfandothers,karuna,thecapacitytoreceiveandempathizewithanotherperson’ssuffering,muditā,asenseofenjoymentatanother ’ssuccessorhappiness,anduppekhā,theeven-mindednesstoserenelybewiththeoceanasthe‘wayitis’.

IfyoucanmaintainthisDhammacultivation,youcanpassmoreeasilythroughtheloss,thegrief,thepain,andtheillnessthatcomesupinlife.YougettotrusttheDhammaofyourheartratherthanbeingclenched,holdingon,fearing,orresisting.Youmaynotknowthefuturebutyoucanknowthatmindfulness,awarenessandcalmarebetterthanfear.Youknowthatlivinginaself-absorbedwayishurtfulandrendersyouconfused,clumsy,andeventuallyimpotent.Wecanknowthisandstaywiththatknowing.Andforamoment,whenyoufeelaqualityofjoyandopeningthatcomesthroughthat,thenstaywithit.Thisistheheartofthepractice.

SoDhammapracticeisaboutbeingfullyaliveandstayingalive.It’saboutthebrightnessandthevitalitythatcomefromconnectingtoalivingsystem.Itdoesn’tmeanit’salwaysgoingtobeacomfortableride.Butonceyoubegintounderstandandlightenupaboutthecomfortableanduncomfortable,thenyouexperiencethebalancethatenablesyoutoride,tofloat,toconnect,toshareinthisgreatWay.Thisiswhatlifeisabout.Thisisbeingaliveratherthanjustexisting.

RadiantNon-Belief

AdaptedfromaSundaynighttalkgivenatArunaRatanagiriMonasteryin2010

AjahnMunindowasborninNewZealandin1951.HereceivedthegoingforthfromSomdetÑānasamvarain1974andspenthisfirstRainsRetreatwithAjahnThate.In1975hewasreordainedbyAjahnChahinWatNongPahPong.In1980hejoinedAjahnSumedhoatChithurst,laterbecoming

abbotofArunaRatanagiriin1991whereheresidestoday.

“Thosewhoareenergeticallycommittedtotheway,pureandconsiderateineffort,composedandvirtuousinconduct,steadilyincreaseinradiance.”thebuddha

Thisisverse24fromtheDhammapada.ItcomesfromtheAppamādavagga;‘thesectiononheedfulness’.TheBuddhagavethisparticularversespecificallyinthecontextoftheteachingstolaypeople–butprinciplesofDhammaapplyequallytothosewhohavegoneforthtolivetherenunciatelifeandtothosewholivethehouseholders’life.

AsIreadthistext,thewordthatstandsoutformeis‘radiance’–thelastwordofthestanza.Whatisitthatmakesapersonradiant?’Myfirstteacher,VenerableAjahnTatehadleukaemiafor20yearsandhewasalreadyquiteoldandquiteillwhenIwasthere.Thedoctorshadsaidhewasn’tgoingtoliveverylong,butheremainedwellandwasinhisninetieswhenhedied.Hewascertainlyaradiantbeing.Andhewassomebodyyouwouldsaywas‘pureandconsiderateineffortandcomposedandvirtuousinconduct’–oneofthosepeoplewho,assoonasyoumeetthem,fillyouwithadmiration.

Butonealsomeetsradiantindividualsfromtimetotimewhoarenotconsiderateandcomposed;peoplewhocanbecharacterizedasfundamentalists.I’vemetsomeradiantpeoplewhogoonaboutthisorthatArchangeloraboutIntergalacticBeings.Someofthestoriesthesepeopletellaredefinitelyweird.Yetthey’reveryradiantwithbrightshiningeyesandfullofenergy!SoitisworththinkingabouthowonecanberadiantandbrightandenergizedyetnotunderstandingDhamma,notmovingtowardsliberationfromsuffering.

LettinggoofattachmentsiswhattheBuddhawastalkingabout.Fundamentalistscultivateattachments–theyaccessradiancefromclinging.Clingingcanindeedleadtoaccumulatingpower.Religiousfundamentalistsandalsopoliticalfundamentalistshaveacharismathatcanattractalargefollowingofbelievers.Thereareenvironmentalfundamentalists,medicalfundamentalists.Fundamentalismisa

conditionofthemindwheretheconsciousnessconstrictsandcontractsdowntoaveryfewpossibilitiesandgivesthebelieversastrongsenseofcertainty.Fundamentalismdoesn’ttolerateambiguityordiversityorcomplexity.It’sasimplisticapproachtolife,veryfirmlyheld.Itrejectsandfeelsthreatenedbyuncertainty.Withinmyownfamily,I’mveryfamiliarwithfundamentalists’beliefsystemsandwithpeoplewhoareradiantandpositiveandfullofenergy.Butit’snotapaththatleadstorespectfordifferentapproachestolife.

ThepathofpracticetowhichtheBuddhapointedto–thepathexemplifiedbyAjahnTateandAjahnChah–isnotapathoffindingradianceorenergy,well-beingorstrength,in‘grasping’,butin‘lettinggo’;includinglettinggoofbeliefs.Ifwegraspatbeliefswecanfindradiance,butitwon’tshinelightonthepathtopurityandunshakeablepeace.Whenwegraspandbecomeidentifiedwitha

belieforaviewweimposeaconstrictiononourheartsresultingintheforceofconvictionwhichcanbeimpressivelyenergizing.ButthatisnottheapproachtheBuddhawasencouraging.Inonesenseheencourageddisbelief;orperhapsitismoreaccuratetosayheencouragedustowithholdbelief.Craftingourpracticealongthelinesofwithholdingbelief,alongthelinesoflettinggoofbeliefsistrulybeneficialandsafeforourselvesandforothers.Andifwecanseehowthisbringsopennessofheart,freedom,energyandalivenessandalsopossiblyradiance,thenwewillwanttobringitintoallaspectsofourlives.

WiseChoices

It’simportantthatweseehowthisworksinmeditation.Thereweare,sittingonthecushion,focussedonthemeditationobject.Wehavethesensationofthebodybreathing,andexercisethedisciplineofstayingwiththis.There’sasenseofeaseandpresence–anawarenessofthismoment,notgettinglostinthepastorinthefuture–beingpresentwithouttakingsides‘for ’or‘against’;‘right’or‘wrong’.Wedothisforawhileandthensomethingarisesinourconsciousness,like:‘I’dliketothinkaboutsomethingelse:thatmovieIwantedtosee...’So,whatarewegoingtodonow?We’vegotachoiceatthatpoint.Arewegoingtofollowtheimpulsetothinkaboutwantingtowatchthatmovie?Orarewegoingtocomebacktothemeditationobject?That’sthepointwherewecanchoosetoexerciserestraintandifweunderstand–ifwedothiswithmindfulness–weequipourheartwiththeskillofabidinginopennessanduncertainty.Wecometoseethatwedon’thavetoclingtoideas;wedon’thavetobecertainaboutlifeorcertainaboutthefuture.

Thefundamentalistwithin,ortheclingingmind,demandstobesure,wantstoknowstraightaway.It’slikewhattendstohappenwhenyougetaletterfromthedoctor–youmaybehadsometestsdone–andthedoctorsaysyou’vegottocomeintotalkaboutit,andyoustartthinking:‘Ohmygoodness,Ihadthesetestsandmaybesomethingiswrongor....’Thetruthiswearenotsure,wesimplydon’tknow,andwhathappensisthatwegointoworry,intofearandanxiety.Howdowepulloutofthat?Howdowenotbelieveintheconditionsthatariseinourmind:worry,anxiety,desire,illwill?Thesearetheconditionsthatdisturbourmeditation,thesearetheconditionsthatruinourlives;howdowenot‘become’them?Thisiswhereformalpracticeandmeditationaresoimportant.

Indaily-lifepracticeweexerciseskilfulrestraintandthatisnecessary.Informalmeditationpracticeweworkwithrestraintonadifferent,moresubtlelevel.Whatwelearnatthisdeeperlevelcanhaveaprofoundandlife-changingeffectonoureverydaylife.Aswepatientlyandconsistentlyobservethetendencytobecomecaughtinthemovementsofmind,likedesireandillwill,anewunderstandingemerges,naturally.Wesimplyseeforourselvesthesanityofchoosingnottofollowdistractions.We

seetheconsequences.We’renotjustdoingitbecausetheteachersaidtodoitorbecausewe’retryingtodevelopsomespecialstateofmind.Weareexercisingrestraint–wechoosenottofollowtheconditions–becausewe’reinterestedinfreedom,notconstriction;whentheseconditionsariseinourmindwelearntonotbelievewhattheytellus.It’saboutgrowingup.

Itcanfeelsotemptingtofollowadesirelike,‘HowcanIgettowatchthatmovie?’or:‘HowcanIgetmyownbackonthatpersonwhotookadvantageofme.’Ortofeelworried:‘...whenIsaidthat,IwonderiftheythoughtIwassayingthisinstead....’Butintruthwearenotobligedtobelieveinthestoriesourmindtellsus.Wecanchoosetoexercisediscernment;toexercisemindfulnessanddiscovertheveryrealpowerthatcomesfromlettinggowithunderstanding.Whenourmindsareconditionedbyhabitsoffollowingsensualdesire–gratificationthroughgraspingatsensuality–thenthat’swhatwedo,wegraspatit.Sensualdesirecomesupandwegraspatitandwebelieveit’sgoingtogiveuswhatwewant.Andthen,ifwegetwhatwewant,wefeelmomentarilyhappyandpleasedwithourselves,orifwedon’tgetwhatwewantwefeeldisappointedandtrytoforgetaboutit.Fromapracticeperspectivewedon’tstoptherebutwestudyit.Wethink,‘Well,believingindesiregotmeintoalotoftroublelasttime,so...’Butusuallywedon’tdothatifourdesiresarefrustrated,wejustsay,‘OK,I’lljustgoforsomethingelseandtryhardertogratifyitnexttime.’Weareaddictedtodistraction.

Whendesirearisesduringmeditation,thewisethingtodoistocomestraightbacktothebreath.Ifit’stoostrongadesireandthatpullsatus,wemightneedtoturnattentionandactuallylookatit.Choosingtorestrainthemindfromfollowingthedesire,stillawareofthewholebody/mind,notgettingpulledinto‘right’or‘wrong’,‘should’or‘shouldn’t’;it’sjudgement-free,here-and-now,wholebodyawareness.Wechoosetoinvestigatethedesiringthought.Wepracticelikethisuntilweseethroughitandcanseeit’sa‘con’:‘It’sa“con”andIdonotbelieveinit.’Thisisnotbecausewehavegraspedatdisbelief.Graspingatdisbeliefisjustthesameasgraspingatbelief.Ratherweconsider:‘Whatistherealityofthisdesire?DesireappearstobetellingmeI’vegottograspatit,believeinitandfollowit.Butdoesdoingsoreallyproducewell-being?WhathappensifIgraspit?Igetfiredup;Ifeelagitatedandrestless.Itdoesn’tmakemepeaceful.’

Ifwepersistinthispracticeofmindfulnessenquiry,thenweunderstandhowwedon’thaveto‘believe’togetenergized;wedon’thaveto‘believe’tofeelgood.Infact,we’rechoosingtonotbelieve.Notbecausewe’reforcingourselvestonotbelieveinit.We’rechoosingtonotbelieveindesire;tonotbelieveinthatparticularmovementofthemind,notbelieveintheapparentreality.Orinthecaseofillwill:we’veseenthroughthe‘con,’‘Yes,itdefinitelydoesfeelthatwaybutIdonotbelieveortrustinthatfeeling;inthewishtohurtsomebody.’

CreativityorCompulsion

Initiallyweunderstandconceptually,orevenintuitivelyfeelfor,howwiserestraintworksbutthatdoesn’tmeantosaywewillfullyappreciatethebenefitsimmediately.Butifwedon’tfallintothetrapoftryingtoohardorinbeingtoohesitantorlazy,hopefullyonedaywewillseethroughit.Overandoveragaininourmeditation,wemustwillinglycomeback,willinglyrestrainourselvesfromfollowingtheapparentrealities–thestories.Itmightfeelterriblycreativetofollowourfantasies.Indeedinmeditationitoftendoesfeelthatway.Butifwecan’tchoosetonotfollowthemthenthey’renotreallycreative,it’sacompulsiveregurgitationofoldstuff.Wearemerelycaughtupin–andthereforedefinedby–theoldwornoutconditioningofourmind.

Compulsiveproliferationisverydifferentfromcreativeengagement.Ifyouarebeingdriven,that’scompulsiveproliferation.Youmaymanagetogetalotofthingsdonebybeingtotallycaughtupincompulsiveproliferation.Youcanbeproductiveandgetpaidalotofmoney.Alotoftheworldislikethisbuthowmuchwisdomcomesfromthisapproach?Howdeepdowegoinourinvestigationofrealityandhowmuchgenuinecontentmentcomesfromit?

Ifinterestinreality–dhammachanda–isaliveinusthenevencompulsiveproliferationissomethingwecanchoosetoinvestigate.Withmindfulnesswenoticethecompulsivethinkingandwechoosenottomerelyfollowit.Sittinginmeditationandthesecompulsivethoughtscomeup.Itseemslikeanobsessionbutwedon’tjustdismisstheobsession,itissomethingwechoosetoinvestigate.Wecanlearnfromthesethoughts:‘WhatisthisfeelingthatI’mfeedingon?WhatisitthatI’mconvincedby?WhatisitthatIseemtobelievein?’Wecanreallysimplifyalotofourpracticejustbyseeingwhatitisthatwe’reconvincedbyandthenlookingatituntil,oneday,werealize:‘Idon’thavetodothatanymore’.

Remember,it’snotgraspingatdisbelief–butfindingwecanletgoofbelief.Wegetafeelingforthisandallsortsoflimitationsandobstructionsinourlifebecomemoreworkable.Youstillletfeelingsfeelthewaytheyfeel–youcanstillletthemfeelreallyuglyandirritatingandoffensive,butyoudon’tbelievewhattheytellyou.‘Ishouldreallybeafraidofthis,Ishouldbeterrifiedbythis,butno,Ijustdon’tbelieveit.’Thisalsoisawaytowardsradiance.Thegreatbeingswhohavepractisedforalongtimearenotradiantbecausethey’reattachingtobelief;ifanythingthey’reradiantbecausetheydon’tbelieveinthewaysamsāraappearstobe.

ThereisatalkAjahnChahgavethathasbeencalledNotSure!–TheStandardoftheNobleOnes.SomeofyouwillbefamiliarwithitIexpect.Herehe’stalkingaboutwhathappensifthethoughtoccurstoyou:‘Oh,I’masotapānna,I’veattainedthestateofbeingaStreamEnterer.’AjahnChahtellsustogoandaskthesotapānnaandwhattheywilltellyou,‘It’snotsure.Everythingisnotsure.’Thewayofbeingfully,radiantly‘notsure’isverydifferentfromtheradiancethatcomesfromgraspingatbeingsure.

HeedingthesewordsofAjahnChahhelpswhenperhapswecomeacrossotherteachingsandothertraditions;wemightfeel,‘WellI’mnotsureaboutthingsandI’mnotconfident,’andyoustarttodoubtaboutyourpractice.Becarefulandletinterestguideyou.Ifyoubelievetheapparentrealitythatsaysyouarepatheticandhopelessthenyoujustmadeyourselfpatheticandhopeless.Thefeelingof‘I’mnotsure...’canbeobserved.Itisperfectlyfinetofeelnotsure.Wearenotobligedtobelievethewaytheworldofthesensesappears.

Andsowhatwestarttodiscoveristhatthere’sanincreasedcapacitytolivewithbeing‘notsure’.Ifwewanttolookatourprogressinpractice,wedon’tlookathowmuchmorecertainwe’rebecoming,welookatourcapacityforaccommodatinguncertainty.Ifyouwantabarometerforprogressinpractice,lookathowskilfulyouareatholding‘notsure’.It’sverydifferentfromwhatmostspiritualdisciplinesteach.Exercisetheskillofbeingmindfully‘notsure’,applyitandtryitout.Rememberthisisnotjustanothertechniqueorpositionwegraspinoursearchforsecurity.Reallytryitoutinyourformalpracticeandindailylife.Starttoexperimentwiththeresultofrestrainingthemind’stendencytograspatwantingtobesure.

SubtleEffort

Weneedtobeverysubtleinapplyingmindfulnessbecauseourhabitsofengagingexperiencewilfullyaresuchthatevenwhenwehearatalkaboutrestraint,thetendencycanbetobecomewilfulaboutit.That’snotwhatismeantbybeing‘composedandvirtuous’.That’snotwhatismeantbybeing‘considerateandpure’.‘Pureandconsiderate’isaboutacarefulinvestigation.‘Composedandvirtuous’isaboutasensitivereceptivityoftheconditionsforthesakeofenquiry.Wearen’tjusttryingoutatechniquehere.Ratheritisourinterestinrealitythatmotivatesus.

Thetendencytotakeupthepracticewilfullyisoneofthethingsthatkeepstrippingusup.Anditisoftendirectlyrelatedtoillwill.Maybethisisjusta‘manthing’andsowomenwillhavetotranslateitintotheirownexperience.But,formen,thereissomuchcompetitiveness;wegetintothis‘argy-bargy’–thisongoingcompetitivefeelingof,‘I’vegottowin.IfIdon’twinwhoknowswhat’sgoingtohappen–theworld’sgoingtocometoanend?I’mgoingtodie!’That’swhatourchemicalsaretellingus.Sayingitlikethiscansoundlikeanexaggerationbutifitweren’tthisextreme,whywouldwebehavethewaywedo?Itsoundsridiculous,doesn’tit?Losinganargument–well,sowhat?Butmenargueinthiskindofwaybecauseofbelievingintheappearanceofthemovementsoftheirminds,‘IamsurethatsomethingterribleisgoingtohappenifIlosethisargument.’Oncethehormonesgetactivated,‘I’vegottofight,I’vegottowin.IfIdon’t,it’sadisaster,there’llbeseriousconsequences.’Ifweallowourselvestobelieveinit,that’showwebehave.Unawarenesshasseriousconsequences.

WhenIwasgrowingupmyolderbrotherwasbiggerandstrongerthanme,butIhadasharper,smartertongueandI’dexercisemyspeechonhiminanunpleasantway.Not‘pureandcomposed’or‘consideredandvirtuous’–justkilesā,defilement,compulsivebehaviour.Sooutofunawarenessofreality,throughnotseeingthetruthofhurtfulspeech,Icultivatedaharmfulhabit–harmfulformeandforothers.Butwithwiserestraintandcarefulenquiry,wecanstarttolearnfromourhabits;thatthat’snotgoingtogetuswhatwe’relookingfor.Itdoesn’tleadtopeaceandcontentment.

Believinginthemovementsofthemindisbeingaslavetotheworld.Inrealitywearenotobligedtobelieveinillwill.Wedon’thavetowinanargument.Wecanloseanargumentanditisnotadisaster.Theoppositeofthewayitappearsisthecase,infact;onceweknowwedon’thavetofight,wefeelsafe.Knowingwecanloseisanothergoodbarometerforpractice.Ifyou’regettingcaughtupinanargumentseeifyoucanjustsay,‘Ohwell,OK,maybe.’Butagainbeonthewatchthoughforthetrapofturningthiseffortintotakingafixedposition:‘Byrefusingtoplaythisgamewithyou,I’mgoingtowin.’That’snotiteither.Werememberourselvesinthemoment:thisissati;theself-remembering.Werememberourselvesandreflect:‘Idon’tneedtobelieveinhavingtowinthisargument.’Onceagain,choosingtonotbelieveisdifferentfromgettingenergizedbygraspingatdisbelief.

SteadyPractice

Comingbacktoourverse,ittalksabout‘steadilyincreasinginradiance...’.Ithinkintoday’sworld,theageofthemicrochip,it’shelpfultoponderonthevalueofbeingsteadyinourpractice;nottoofast,nottooslow.Todayit’sallaboutspeed,manypeoplehavebecomefranticwiththeelectronicage–thelatestApplegadgetissomephenomenal,powerfulandextraordinarilybeautifulpieceofelectronicwizardry.Partofournervoussystemmightbeabletorelatetothiswizardrybutnotallofourbeingworkslikethat.Thewholebody/minddoesnotoperateatthatspeed.Thepromiseoftheelectronicageappealstoonlyonepartofwhoandwhatweare.Withoutappreciatingthevalueofsteadycultivationandwiserestraintwecanbecomeintoxicatedbythemythsthatthesemodern

wizardstellusandbemanipulatedbydesire,forgettingthatourfleshdoesn’tfunctionatthatspeed;ourbonesdon’tbehavelikeatouch-screenmonitor.Alargepartofwhoweareoperatesaccordingtogentlerrhythms.Ifweforgetourselvesandfocusononepowerfulportionofourbeing,ignoringotherdimensions,weloseourway.

SooverandagaintheBuddhagaveustheseimagesof‘steady’development.Thereistheteachingoftheimprintofthehandonthetoolofacraftsman:acarpenterusingachiselforalongperiodoftimeandeventuallyyoucanseetheimprintofthecraftsman’shandonthehandleofthechiselthathe’susing.Anotherimageisofwaterslowlydrippingintoawaterbarrel:‘drip...drip...drip...’,gradually,gradually,onemomentatatimethebarrelbecomesfilled.TheworldatthetimewhentheBuddhawalkedinitwasn’tdrivenbythemicrochip.Yettherewasgreedandillwillasthereisnow.Peoplesufferedfromunawarenessaswedonow.Inourtimetheconsequencesofallowingourunruly,uncultivatednaturetodictatehowwelive,arepotentizedbytechnology.Perhapsoursufferingismoresevereasaresult.Butweneednotbedisheartened,becausetruthisstilltrue.Dhammaistimeless.Wecanhaveconfidencethatbybeingenergeticallycommittedtotheway,bygraduallyrealizingaradianceborneoutoflettinggo,bynotbelievinginthewaytheworldappears,wecanstillreceivethesamebenefitsofpractice.WithrightrestraintandskilfulinvestigationwesteadilyapproachwhattheBuddhacalledasokam,virajam,khemam:alifethatisfreefromsorrow,freefromobstacles,unshakeablysecure.Iwouldliketoleaveyouherewiththisinspiringimage.

Thankyouverymuchforyourattention.

Forgiveness

AdaptedfromaSundayafternoontalkgivenatAmaravatiin2010

AjahnAmarowasborn1956inEngland.HewasordainedasabhikkhubyAjahnChahin1979andtrainedinEnglandfrom1979-1995withLuangPorSumedho.In1996hebecameco-abbotat

AbhayagiriMonasterywithAjahnPasannoandstayeduntil2010when,onLuangPorSumedho’sretirement,hetookoverasabbotofAmaravati.

“Whenwearealwaysreadytoforgiveothersandletgoofcarryingaroundanykindofgrudge,thennooneneedstobeafraidofus.”

Inmosthumancultures,thereisalonghistoryofvengeance.Whenweexperiencesomekindofhurt,wefeelaninstinctualurgetocauseharminreturntothatwhichhashurtus.It’sareactivehabit:wewantourrevenge.Wemayalsobelievewehavesomekindof‘official’sanctiontopunishsomeone.TheBibleisfrequentlymisquotedassaying,‘Vengeanceismine,sayeththeLord.’Orwemayfeeladutytorestoreourhonour.That’sthebasisofso-calledhonourkillings,inwhichthefamilyhonourorthespiritualhonourhasbeendefiledandtherightresponseistokilltheoffender.Ifwejustforgiveandforget,wemaythink,we’renotdoingourduty.

EvenreflectingonthisintermsoftheBuddha’steachingsonkammaandvipaka(actionanditsresults),wemaybelievethatwrongdoersshouldbepunished.Orwemayask,ifweallreceivetheresultsofouractions,whydopeoplewhobehaveinterriblewaysoftenseemtogetawaywithit?Murderers,robbers,politicianswhoripeverybodyoffleftandright–manyofthemseemtobeenjoyingverycomfortablelives,thankyouverymuch.Andsomepeoplewholiveveryvirtuousandbeneficiallivesseemtobesufferingalot,oratleasttheirlivesarenotanyeasierorbetterthantherestofours.Sowherearetheresultsoftheiractions?

Side-by-sidesuttasintheMajjhimaNikāya(numbers135and136)addressthesequestions.Inthefirstone,theShorterDiscourseontheNatureofAction,theBuddhadescribeshowthereisacorrespondingresultforeverykindofactionordisposition.Ifwe’reverygenerousormoral,thenwe’llberebornlookingbeautiful.Orifweliveharmlessly,thenwe’llbegiftedwithalonglife.Heliststhematchingconsequencestomanydifferentactions.Buttheninthenextdiscourse,theLongerDiscourseontheNatureofAction,thesamecommonquestionscomeup:Whydon’tpeoplewholiveanimmorallifeexperiencesomekindofimmediatenegativeresponse?Howcometheyseemtogo‘unpunished’?Andwhydoterriblethingshappentogoodpeople?TheBuddhathenexplainsthat,

whilethereisaninexorablelawofactionandresultthatfunctiontogether,wecan’tpredictexactlywhenorhoworwheretheresultsofaparticularactionwillripen.

Thisteachingcanbehardtoaccept.Mostpeoplewanttoseeimmediateresults.Ifsomeonehasbrokenintoourhouse,wewanttoseehimtakentocourtandcharged.Weareeagertoseejusticedone.It’snotenoughtosay,‘Well,maybeinafuturelife,thisperson’sgoingtoloseallhisbelongings.No,I’dratherseehimgotojailnow.’That’saverynaturalresponse.Butwhenwecarryaroundthatkindofresentmentandnegativity–themodelof‘aneyeforaneye,atoothforatooth’–wemaynotrealizethatweareactuallyharmingourselves.

Irecentlyheardagoodstorythatillustratesthispoint:onceuponatimeamanwaswalkingalongapath.Hehappenedtocatchhisfootonalumpofdriedmudandtrippedandhithisnoseontheground.Hisnosebled,andhefeltasuddenrageattheEarththathadhurthim.Hestoodupandshookhisfistatit.‘WhathaveIeverdonetoyou?!’heshouted.‘Youstubmytoes,youmakemedirty,youmakemetiredwalkingupyourhills,andyoumakemefallgoingdown.I’vehaditwithyou!’Hestompedoffhomeandgothisshovel.‘I’llshowyou,’hegrowled.‘I’llshovelyouaway,ifittakesmetherestofmylife!’

Themanviciouslyjabbedhisspadeintotheground,scoopedupsomeearth,andflungitintotheair.‘That’soneshovelfulgone,andheregoesanother!’hegruntedtohimselfashetossedupasecondscoopofdirt.Heworkedandworked,diggingfuriously,tryingtoshoveltheEarthaway,onceandforall.Allafternoonhedugupearthandthrewitintotheair,payingnoattentiontoanythingelse.Henevernoticedthathewasdigginghimselfintoahole.Wemighthearthatstoryandlaugh,meanwhileforgettingthelasttimewedidthesamething:‘Hereallydidmewrong,andIamgoingtocarryaroundmyresentmentforever!’Wecanreallydigourselvesintothoseholes.

Inconsideringforgiveness,ontheotherhand,webothacknowledgetheharmthat’sbeendoneandwelookforawayforwardthatcanhelpusall.Weask,‘What’sgoingtobeofbenefitbothtomyself–sothatIdon’thavetocarrytheburdenofaversion,hatred,negativity–andtotheotherpersonorpeople?’It’simportanttounderstandthatforgivenessdoesn’tmeanglossingovertheharmthat’sbeendone,pretendingthatitdoesn’tmatter.Itmeansfindingthemostskilfulresponse.

Inthe‘SharingofBlessings’chantistheline,‘Thosewhoarefriendly,indifferentorhostile;mayallbeingsreceivetheblessingsofmylife,maytheysoonattainthethreefoldblissandrealizetheDeathless.’Onaninstinctuallevel,whywouldwewanttosharetheblessingsofourlifewithsomeonewhoishostiletowardsus?Whywouldwewanttoshareourlimitedamountofgoodkamma,toofferupthegoodnessofourlives,toevil-doers?Wouldn’tthatbecondoningtheiractions?

Whatmakesthispracticesopowerfulistherecognitionthat,yes,thisperson’sactionsareharmful,butmorenegativityisonlygoingtomakethingsworse.Similarly,justbecauseIloveyouandrespectyournatureasalivingbeingdoesn’tmeanIapproveofallofyouractions.Itcanbeveryeasytoconflateotherpeoplewiththeiractions:ifIdon’tapproveofwhatyoudo,thenIshouldfeelbadlytowardsyou.InpractisingDhamma,werealizethatthosearetwodifferentthings.Wecancultivateloving-kindness,respectandforgivenesstowardsanotherbeingbutatthesametimeheartilydisapproveoftheiractions.Thisisanextraordinarilyimportantprincipletobringintoourculture.Theactofwishingwelltoeventhosewhodousharmisarecognitionofourcommonhumanity,ourcommonnatureaslivingbeings.Itisarecognitionthatcarryingaroundresentmentonlycreatesgreaterdivision,greaterdisharmony,andgreaterdiscordandsowstheseedsofgreatersufferingin

thefuture.

Wecancontemplatethismanytimesduringthecourseofaday.Sayweencountersomebodyinourfamily,atwork,orinthegovernmentwhoseactionswedisapproveof,andthenwethink,‘Ican’tstandthatperson’or‘That’sreallyupsetting.’Noticethat,seethatreaction,andconsider,‘Theiractionsseemharmfulanddestructive,butthat’snotcauseformetocultivatenegativityandaversiontowardsthatotherperson.’

TheBuddhatalkedintermsofwholesomenessandunwholesomenessbutneverintermsofanabsoluteevil.Thisisanotherhelpfulprincipletodigestintermsofcultivatingforgiveness,compassion,andloving-kindnesstowardsotherbeings.ThediscoursecalledtheRebuketoMāra(MajjhimaNikāya50)tellsofanencounterbetweentheBuddha’ssecond-mostseniordisciple,Mahā-Moggallāna,whowasgiftedwithpsychicpowers,andMāra,theBuddhistversionofSatanandtheembodimentofallunwholesomeness.MāraistryingtocauseMahā-Moggallānatrouble,butMahā-Moggallānaimmediatelyrecognizeshim.Mahā-Moggallānathentellshim,‘Youknow,inapastlifeIwasaMāra,too.MynamewasDūsī,andmysisterKālīhadason,whowasyou.Iusedtobeyouruncle.’

Here’soneofthegreatsaintsoftheBuddhisttraditionwhousedtobeanembodimentofevilinapreviouslife.Eventually,hepulledhimselfoutofanextraordinarilydarkwayoflivingandreachedfullenlightenmentastheBuddha’ssecond-highestdisciple.Whatthisstorypointstoisthatnobeingisunredeemable.Whetherit’stheharmdoneonafamilylevel,onalocallevel,onanationallevel,intermsoftheBuddhistunderstandingofthings,nowrongdoingisirreparable.

Thisisalsoareallyimportantprincipleifwearesomeonewhosuffersalotfromguiltorfromfeelingsofimperfectioninourselves.It’softeneasytoforgivethewrongdoingsofotherswhileourownshortcomingsaretheoneswe’remostcriticalandnegativeabout.Wemayhavealotofself-criticism:‘There’sthatonethingIdidthatwasirrevocablybad,thatterriblemistakeImade,theunforgivabledeedpeoplekeepremindingmeabout.Ireallydon’tdeserveevertobehappy.’Whenthatsortofthinkingarises,bringinasenseofscepticaldoubt,asuspicionthatperhapseventhemostghastlywrongdoing,theworstmistake,thegravestharmisforgivable.

I’mremindedofaverypoignantdialogueIrecentlyhadwithawoman.Onedayyearsagoshehadtakenherchildrenandsomeofherniecesandnephewstotheseaside.Oneoftheniecesgotintotroubleinthewater,andtheauntdidn’trealizethatherniecewasstrugglinguntilshedrowned.Thiswomanwastheresponsibleadultandshehadn’tbeenpayingattention.Herniece’sdeathwasherfault.Eversincethenshehascarriedaroundthatguilt,hauntedbyafeelingofresponsibilityandgriefatthelossofherniece.Partofhermindsaid,‘Ican’tbeforgiven;itwasmyfault.’

It’simportanttorecognizethat,yes,wedofeelregret.Butthat’snotallofwhoweare.Wedon’tbrushasidetheharmthat’sbeendone,butwealsodon’tcreateself-viewaroundit,makingitintoanidentity.Werecognizethetransgressionandthenmoveonfromthere.

Anotherstorycomestomind.OnedayafriendofourscalledJuliewastidyingupinherlivingroomandnoticedthatalittleglasshorsewasmissingfromitsplaceonthewindowsill.Sheaskedheryoungdaughter,‘Sophie,doyouknowwhathappenedtothelittleglasshorse?’Thelittlegirlfrozeand,withablanchedlookofterror,gasped,‘Don’tknow.’Hermother,beingveryastute,asked,‘Shallwetrythatagain?Whydon’tyougooutoftheroomandthencomebackin,andI’llaskyou

thequestiononemoretime.’SoSophiewentoutandcamebackinagain,andJulieasked,‘Sophie,whathappenedtothatlittleglasshorsethatsitsonthewindowsill?’

‘Ibrokeit!I’msorry,I’msorry,I’msorry!’

‘Oh,that’sashame.Thatwasasweetthing.Iwonderwherethepiecesare.Maybewecanstickitbacktogetheragain.’

‘Oh,doyouthinkso?!’

TheyfoundthepiecesofbrokenglassthatSophiehadtriedtohideawayandcreatedalittletaskofgluingthehorsebacktogetheragain.Ratherthanscoldingherdaughterforbreakingtheornamentorfornottellingthetruth,thismotherfoundawaytorecognizeamistakewithoutcreatingmoredifficultyandpainoutofit.

Inourworldtherearemanysuchwayswecandealskilfullywithwrongdoingandharm.Onamuchgranderscale,oneofthemostpowerfulexamplesistheTruthandReconciliationCommissioncreatedbyNelsonMandelaandthepost-apartheidSouthAfricangovernment.Peoplewhohadbeenresponsibleforextremelyharmfulanddestructiveacts–securityforces,thepoliceandarmy,governmentofficialsaswellastherebelagitators–cameforwardtotalkthroughwhathadbeendone,toaccountfortheiractions,andtoaskforforgiveness.Thereweresomevery,veryintenseexchanges,buttheoverallresultoftheseeffortshasbeenextraordinarilyhelpful.ManypeoplecanhardlybelievethatSouthAfricatransitionedtoademocraticallyelectedgovernmentalforminvolvingtheblackAfricancommunitywithouttherebeingahugeamountofmilitaryconflictandbloodshed.Obviously,therearestillmanystrugglesinSouthAfricaeventoday,buttheirswasaverypowerfulandpublicexampleofhowwecanacknowledgeourownwrongdoingsandhowwecanforgive.

TheactofrecognizingourfailingsandaskingforforgivenessisalsocentraltotheBuddhisttradition.Whenwepartcompanyatthemonastery,oneofourcustomsistoformallyaskforforgiveness.Saywe’vebeenonretreattogetherorspenttimetogetherwithagroupofpeopleoraparticularteacher.Partofsayinggoodbyetoeachotherisbyperformingasimpleforgivenessceremony.WereciteaverseinPali.Itmeans,‘ForwhateverIhavedonethatisheedlessbybody,speech,ormind,whateverIhavedoneintentionallyorunintentionally,thatmighthavebeenharmful,upsetting,ordistressinginanyway,Iaskforyourforgiveness.’

Oneofthemostbeautifulaspectsofthisceremonyisthattheteacherorthepersonbeingaddressedalsosays,‘Iforgiveyou,andpleaseforgivemetoo.’Thisreciprocalprocesstakesplaceevenwhenanextremelyjuniorperson,someonewhoisveryyounginthetraining,istalkingtoanextremelyseniorperson,evensomeoneregardedasafullyenlightenedbeing.Yes,it’strue:anarahantcanannoyothers!Inaskingforforgiveness,we’rerecognizingthatweaffecteachother.Eventhoughwemighthaveverygoodintentionsandaqualityofconductthatfeelsabsolutelyharmoniousandpure,wecanstillannoyotherpeople.Ourgoodnessitselfcanbereallyirritating;thatwedoeverythingsowellcanbeextremelyupsettingtootherpeople.Sothisceremonyisaverybeautifulwayofclearingtheslatewhenyoupartcompany.

Althoughthisformofaskingforgivenessisritualizedandcanbeseenasaroteexchange,it’simportantthatwemeanwhatwearesaying.Ironically,theceremonyispowerfulevenwhenwedon’t

reallymeanwhatwe’resaying.Wemightbethinking,‘Well,youreallyareoutoforder,andIdon’twanttoforgiveyou.’Theveryfactthatwe’rehangingontothatattitudeisrevealedatthemomentwhenweputourhandstogetherandsay,‘Pleaseforgiveme,andIforgiveyoualso.’Whenwerecitethosewords,werecognize,‘Oh,there’ssomethingherethatdoesn’twanttoletgoandforgive.WhydoIwanttocarrythatred-hotironball?Thisisharmingme,andit’sharmingtheotherperson.’Eventhoughtheceremonymightbeformulaicinsomeways,itholdsupamirrortoournarrow-mindednessandourself-cherishing.Ifweareabletoacknowledgethat,thenweknowthatthethingtodonextistoletgoandbehumbleenoughtoletourgrudgedissolve.

TheBuddhahadavarietyofotherwaystosortoutdisputes,conflicts,anddifficultiesinthecommunity.Werecitealistofseveneveryfortnightwithourrulesoftraining.Thelastoftheseiscalled‘coveringoverwithgrass.’Basically,thismeansagreeingtodisagree.TheBuddhawasanamazingjudgeofhumannature.Herealizedthatsometimeswejustcan’tagree.Inthatcase,sincewestillhavetolivetogether,wecan‘coverthingsoverwithgrass.’

Thequalityofabhaya,orfearlessness,isalsorelatedtothequalityofforgiveness.Whenwearealwaysreadytoforgiveothersandletgoofcarryingaroundanykindofgrudge,thennooneneedstobeafraidofus.ThemonasterywhereIlivedinCaliforniaiscalledAbhayagiri,orFearlessMountain.InPali,abhayameans‘fearless’andgirimeans‘mountain.’ButvisitingThaipeoplewouldoftenseethenameAbhayagiriandthinkitmeans‘ForgivenessMountain,’becauseintheThailanguageapaymeans‘forgiveness.’Thisslightdriftofmeaningisreallynotsosurprising,sincenobodyneedstobeafraidwhenweforgivethem.

Givingfearlessness,orabhayadāna,isoneofthesuperiorqualitiesofgenerosity.Forgivenessisnotjustsomethingthatbenefitsourselves.It’snotjustfreeingourownheartfromaburdenofnegativity,resentment,orthedesireforrevenge.It’salsoagifttoothers.We’reofferingafreedomfromfear.Forgivenessmeanslettingpeopleknowthatwehaven’tgotanythingagainstthemevenifthey’vedonesomethingworthyofcriticism,thatwe’renotgoingtoblamethemforsomekindofharmfulornegativeaction.We’reabletosay,‘No,Ihavenoillwilltowardsyou.I’mnotcarryinganyresentment.’Whensomeonerealizesthattheydon’tneedtofeelthreatenedbyus,there’satremendousreliefandhappiness.

IreadastoryaboutthisrecentlyinoneofMalcolmGladwell’sbooks.Hedescribedhowawomanwronglyidentifiedamanasherattackerinanidentityparade,andhewassenttojail.Twentyyearslaterfurtherevidenceappeared,anditbecameclearthatshehadbeenmistaken.Whenthemanwasfinallyreleased,shewenttoseehim–withincredibleanxietyandtrepidation–andapologized,‘I’mterriblysorry,Ireallymadeagenuinemistake.’Toherastonishment,hehadnonegativitytowardsher.Hesaid,‘Youknow,weallmakemistakes.’Soshereplied,‘Butyou’velosttwentyyearsofyourlife.Yourentireyouthwasspentinthejail.’Buthesaid,‘Well,youdidn’tmeanit,soIholdnothingagainstyou.’

Thetwoofthemhadawonderfulencounter.Theybecamefirmfriends,andtheynowtravelaroundtellingtheirstoryanddoingworkshopsonreconciliationandrestorativejustice.Hisfreedomfromresentmentandthebeneficialrelationshipthathascomefromthatissomethingtheyaregivingasagifttosociety.

Wemaythinkthatoncewe’veforgivensomeoneorbeenforgivenourselves,thenwe’llbebacktosomekindofneutralpoint.Butlettinggoofasenseofnegativityalsoallowspowerfulpositive

forcestocomethrough.Thatwomanexperiencedgreatgratitudetothiswonderfulmanwho’dbeenlockedupforsolong.Whenwedevelopthequalityofforgivenessandlettinggoofanyresentmentwemayhavetowardspeoplewhohaveharmedoroppressedusinsomeway,thenweopenuptocompassion.Wecanrecognizewhataterriblestatetheymusthavebeenin,inordertohavecarriedoutthoseactions.

AsateenagerIusedtohavealotofnegativitytowardsmyfather.WehadveryintensedifferencesofopinionandIwouldscreamandwritehimoffasnarrow-minded,bigoted,andsoon.Icarriedaroundthisterriblenegativityandcriticismofhim.ThenwhenIgottotheageoffortyorso,Istartedtoseethingsdifferently:Whyonearthshouldhehaveknownwhattodoasaparentofaflowerchildinthe’60sand70s?Hisfatherwasbornin1863.HegrewupinanEdwardianfamilyinthe1920s,goingtoaghastlyboardingschool.WhyshouldIexpecthimtobecompletelylovingandunderstanding?Helivedinatotallydifferentuniversefrommine.

WhenIbegantothinkthisway,whatcameforthwereatremendoussenseofforgivenessandanenormousbrightnessandcompassion.Ithought,‘Hedidareallygreatjob!WelldoneDad!’Partofmecouldn’tbelieveIwasthinkingthisway,becauseitboresuchastrikingcontrasttowhathadbeentherebefore.ButIfoundarealcherishingandrejoicing,arealqualityofappreciation,evenforsomeonewhoI’doncefelthaddonemesuchharm.

Thustheactofforgiveness,whenitcomesfromagenuinespiritualplaceintheheart,ismoreasignofstrengthratherthanbeinganykindofweakness.Furthermore,itcanbringforthgreatjoyandadelight,abrightnesswithinusandinthosearoundusaswell–itisarealfor-giving,agivingforth,imbuinggreatblessingsuponall.

AsubhaPractice

AdaptedfromatalkgivenatAmaravatiMonastery,in2010

AjahnVajirowasborninMalaysiain1953.HemetAjahnChahandAjahnSumedhoattheHampsteadViharain1977.HebecameasamaneraandreceivedupasampadāfromAjahnChahatWatPahPongin1979.AjahnVajiroreturnedtoEnglandin1984,andassistedwiththeestablishmentofAmaravati

BuddhistMonasterywherehepresentlyresides.

“Thiscontemplationleadstobeingreadytogivebacktonaturethatwhichbelongstonature;tonottakingourbodysopersonally.”

Iwouldliketooffersomethoughtsonthecultivationofasubhakammatthānaor‘ReflectiononTheUnattractive’.Wehaveastandardpracticeinthemonasteryofregularlyrecitingtheasubhachant.Thisisrecommendedparticularlyforallsamanas,allrenunciates,butIwouldencourageeveryonetoconsiderit.ItisoneofthefewpracticesforwhichIreceivedpersonalinstructiondirectlyfrommyPreceptor,LuangPorChah.Itiscertainlyuseful.Likeanypracticehoweveritrequiresrepeatedapplicationofefforttobeeffective.Oftenpeopledonotparticularlywanttodoasubhameditationyetitisapowerfulandeffectivetool.Itisworthnotingasweconsiderthissubjectthattraditionallythispracticeistobecombinedwiththecultivationofmettā-bhāvanāormeditationontheheartofloving-kindness.

Asubhakammatthānaisaboutseeingthingsastheyreallyare,inabalancedway.Theformthemeditationtakesoffersanantidote,acontrast,totheusualwayofviewingthings.Usuallyweseeabodyasawholething;welookatpeopleandseethemasblobs.Wetendnottonoticethatthebodywearelookingatisactuallymadeupofmanybitsandpiecescoupledandcobbledtogether.Oneparticularaspectofasubhapractice,whichformsanearlypartofthepabbajjāceremony,orthe‘goingforth’fortherenunciant,istheconsiderationofthefiveexternalthingswhichweimmediatelyobservewhenwelookatabody.Theencouragementistolearntoimaginethesefiveelementsofthebodyseparatelyinourheartsandminds:thehairofthehead,thehairofthebody,thenails,theteethandtheskin.Duringthepabbajjāceremonythepreceptorinitiatestheapplicantintothismeditationbyhavingthemrecitethefiveobjectsforwardsandbackwards:Kesā,lomā,nakhā,dantā,taco;thentaco,dantā,nakhā,lomā,kesā.Itisunfortunatethatforsomethisistheironlyencounterwiththepractice;theyneverthinkaboutitagain.Thereisgreatbenefittobefoundindevelopingthispractice.

Hairofthehead.Usuallypeoplemakeabigdealoftheirhairandotherpeople’shair–theyinvestalotinitandidentifywithit.Whenwelookatsomebody,ourconditionedwayofviewingistoseethewholebodyjoineduptogetherasaperson.Whenwethinkofsomebody,wehaveanimageofthewholeofthem;somethinglikeaphotograph.Butifwejustsawapileofhair,wouldthatbringupanimageofthepersonconcerned?Andthinkaboutit;whendoesthehairceasetobepartoftheperson?

Fromoneperspectivethiswayofseeingthepartsofthebodyisquiteobvious,buthowoftendowerecollectthatthisishowtheyreallyare?Orisn’titthecasethatweprefertodismissthisawarenessandmoveontosomethingelsemoreattractive?Andyetitisreallyakindnesstonotidentifythehairoftheheadasbeingtheperson;tonottakeitasanythingmorethanitis,justhair,hairofthehead.

Thehairofthebodyincludesfacialhairandtheotherlessvisiblepatchesofhair,allofwhichregularlycomesloose,getscaughtinplugholesandstuckoncakesofsoap,floatsaroundthebathroomandsometimesaroundotherpartsofthebuilding.Whenaretheyyours,andwhenaretheynotyours?Howmuch,andforhowlongisthehaironyourbodytrulyyourstoown?

Andthenails–whenyouclipyournails,atwhatpointdotheyceasetobepartofyou?Doyoupayattentiontowhatyoudowiththem,andifyouseenailclippingssomewhere,doyoutakethetimetonoticethem?Ordoyouthinkthatonlythebeautifulbitsonyourfingersareyou?Theteetharetheclosestwegettoseeingaskeleton.Whenwelookatsomeone’steeth,weareactuallylookingattheirskeleton.Peoplearesometimesscaredorupsetbyskeletons,butweallcanrealisethattheteetharethevisiblepartoftheskeleton.Andthatissomethingwecanreflectonwhenlookingatourownteethorotherpeople’steeth.Andtheskin,ofcourse,isthelargestorganofthebodyandthepartwhichcoversupalltheotherparts;themuscles,thefleshandthefatandunderthemthewrigglybitsandtheslimybitsoftheinternalorgansandtheguts.Onceagain,theskinisanareawedonotparticularlyliketoconsiderasaseparatepiece.Butwecanrecognizethetoughnessoftheskinasacompletebit,apartofthebody.Itisinterestingtoseeorimagine‘our ’bodywithskinremoved.Weseethispartiallyorinbitswhenthereisagrazeorotherinjury.

Andthosefivearejustwhatwesee:thehairofthehead,hairofthebody,nails,teethandskin.Ofcourse,thepracticethattheBuddhasuggestedwasmorecompletethanthat,becauseitdealtwithalltheotherpartsofthebodyaswell–flesh,sinews,bones,lungs,heart,spleen,liver,bowels,entrails–allofit.

TheapproachLuangPorChahrecommendedwastomakeitpartofourwalkingmeditation,butitcanbedoneinotherwaysaswell.Asmanyofyouwillalreadyknow,walkingmeditationisthepracticeparticularlyrecommendedinourtraditionforcultivatingwisdom,paññā.LuangPorChahsuggestedforthepracticeofasubhakammatthānatowalkinmeditation,andattheendofthepathtostartimaginingseparatingoffandthrowingbodypartsdown–hairofthehead,hairofthebody,nails,teeth,skin,andalltheotherpartsofthebody–andleavingthosepilesthrownawayateachendofthewalkingpath,asameansofnottakingthebodyanditspartstoopersonally.

Itissaidtobeakindnesstogiveallofthisbodythatwecarryaroundwithusbacktonature.Thebodykeepsoozingfromnineholes,andasitoozes,anythingthatcomesintocontactwithit,suchasclothing,ofcoursebecomessoiled.Thisiswhywewashourclothes–atleast,Ihopewedo–andkeepthingsclean.Eventhebodiesofinsectsandotheranimalssoilthethingswithwhichtheycomeintocontact.Thestuffthatcomesoutofthebody–fromtheears,theeyes,thenose(thinkoftissues),themouth–oozesandsoils.Andwhataboutfoodthatcomesintocontactwiththemouth?Andthere

arealltheporesoftheskin,manymillionsofpores,whichalloozetoo.Thebodyisoozingallthetime,producingsweat,greaseandgunkandtherest,andmessingthingsup.Ofcourse,lookedatinoneway,thefactthatitdoesallthisandmanagestofunctionsowellismarvellous.Knowthatasubhacontemplationisnotmeanttocausestress.WhenIpractiseit,whathappensisthatasenseofcalmnesscomesoverme,asensethatthisishowitisnow.Thereasonthepracticeisencouragedforeveryone,notjustrenunciatesisbecauseallbodiesarethesame.Mybodyisnodifferentfromanyotherbody:weallsharethisexperienceofoozingallovertheplaceandmakingthingsdirtywhenwecomeintocontactwiththem.

Thereareindeedmanyaspectsofthebodywhicharewonderful,butwecanfindinspirationbyoftendwellingonitslessattractiveaspects.Thiscontemplationleadstobeingreadytogivebacktonaturethatwhichbelongstonature;tonottakingourbodysopersonally.Thisisjustthewayitis,quitemarvellousandjustpartofnature.Thepracticeisaboutlearningtoswitchfromseeingabodyasawholepersontoseeingthingsinanotherwaythatisalsotrue;anewkindofawareness.Noneofthisisuntrueormadeup.Itisjustawayofviewingwhichwemightnotparticularlywishtodwellinbecauseitarousesfeelingswhichmakeusuncomfortable.

ButtheLordBuddhaandotherteachersthroughtheyearshaveencouragedustodwellinthisawareness:toviewthebodyasjustacollectionofparts.Hairofthehead,hairofthebody,nails,teeth,skin,flesh,sinews,bones,bonemarrow,spleen,lungs,heart,kidneys,allthebigparts.Bowels,entrails,undigestedfood,excrement,bile,blood,sweatandtears,fat,grease.Strangestuff–oilofthejoints,synovialfluid,whateverthatis–andfinallythebrainandurine.Wecarryallthisaroundwithusanduseitfordifferentpurposes.Thewayitallworksseemslikemagic,butit’sjustthewaythatitis.It’sjustthismuch.Wegiveitsomuchimportance;generatesomuchexcitementaboutit.Andsincewehaveattachedtosuchaworldlywayofviewingit,alotofrepetitionisrequiredbeforetheshifttotheotherwayofperceiving,anasubhaawareness,isestablished.

Indevelopingthispracticesomepeoplechoosetotakeoneparticularaspectofthebody.Ithinkonemonktakesbones–recollecting:bones,bones,bones–lookingatpeoplebutseeingskeletons,sothatwhenlookingatsomeoneatfirsttheminddoesnotreallynoticemuchmorethanjustskeleton.Whatdoyouusuallynoticewhenyoulookatsomebody?Wedwellonthewhole,giveitaname.AndofcoursethisbodythatIcarryaroundallthetimeislikeeverybodyelse’sbody.Youcannoticehowitgrowsalittleolderfromoneyeartothenext,developsbags,nolongerworksorholdstogethersowell.Youcanseeitstartingtosagalittlehereandthere,towrinklealittlemore,tobecomealittlelesstaut.Youcanalsogivetimetonoticinghowandwhenthebodycomesintocontactwiththings,andwhenthingsdropoffit.Pauseforamomenttonoticehow,asitmovesthroughlife,thebodymakesthingsalittledirtier;becausethatisitsnature.Youmightmakeaspecialefforttokeepthingsclean,butevenasyouarecleaning,somethingisoozingandmakingsomethingelsedirty.Contemplationofthebodyinthiswayispeaceful.ItmaynotbeparticularlyexcitingbutIhavefounditveryinteresting.

Rememberthatthroughoutthepracticeourintentionshouldbegroundedinasenseofwell-wishing,ofkindness,asenseofeaseandhappiness,independentofconditions.Howmuchofthepainandstressinyourlifehascomefromthewayyouviewyourbody;yourself-image?Observethetendencytoidentifywiththebodyandyourthoughtsaboutit–tootall,tooshort,toofat,toothin,nottonedenough.Allofthisisamistake,anerrorofperceptioninsomeway.Thebodycanalsobeviewedinanotherwaythatismorepeaceful.Thereisjustthistoit–hairofthebody,hairofthehead,

nails,teeth,skin.Whenthesepartsareseenseparately,thebody’spersonalityevaporates,andthatispeaceful–atleast,itisforme.Thebodyisjustthismuch;itisnotsupposedtobeanyotherway.Thisisthewayitworks,whatitshareswithallanimalbodies.Allothercreatures,fromdustmitesthroughtoelephantsandwhales,thesmallesttothebiggest,dothesamesortsofthingsandhavethesamebasiccomponents;theyallmoveandinteractwiththeenvironmentandleavetraces.

Youmightfeelyoudonotwanttodoasubhakammatthāna.AndIcanrememberdislikingcertainrecommendedpractices.However,seeingclearlythenot-likingornot-wantingtodoaparticularpracticecanalsobeasourceofinsight.Beingawareofthesenseofresistancecanleadtoinsight;thatlikingordislikingisjustanotherhabit.

Forthosewhoreallyseethevalueofrenunciationpractice,developingasubhakammatthānacanbringjoyandbetrulyhelpful.Buttomentionagain,thispracticeisnotonlyforfulltimerenunciants.Ioncetaughtaretreatforabout60laypeopleintheUS,whereIwaswithAjahnPunnadhammofromtheArrowRiverForestHermitageinOntario.HesuggestedIteachasubhakammatthāna.Ithinkhemayhavebeentryingtoteaseme,butIdiditanyway.IgavetheretreatantstheinstructionasIhadreceivedthemfromLuangPorChah,andsuggestedthatiftheywishedtheycouldtryit.Afterwardsreportscameback–maybetheywerereluctanttogivenegativereports,buteverybodywhoreportedsaidtheyfounditwasextremelyhelpful.Peoplecommentedthattheyfounditagreatwayofpractisingwiththebodyimageintermsofpullingitapartandnottakingitsoseriously;discardingit.SoIthinkitworks,itcanworkforeverybody.Ihaveenjoyeditmanytimesandfounditveryhelpful–thesenseofrelinquishingthebitsofwhatIusuallythinkofmyselfasbeing,andimaginingthemasjustapileofstuff.Thebodyisjustapileofstuff:asealedbagofskinfilledwithunattractivethings.Infactitisnotevenquitesealed,becauseitleaks.Itisreallyvaluableexamininginthisway.

Anysortofawakeningwhichwemayexperiencewillbewithinthisbody.Itwon’thappenelsewhere,sowemightaswellusewhatwehave,whatwelivewith,andlearntobeflexibleandalive,andseethingsdifferentlyfromourmerelyhabitualwaysofseeingthem.Thisrequirespractisingbeingenlightened.SoIencourageallofustopractisethisaspectofenlightenment–seeingthingsasseparatepartsratherthanjustasanapparentwhole;asthebits,ratherthanthewaythebitsareputtogether.

IfasubhakammatthānaispractisedintherightwayItrustthatitwillleadtoawholesomesenseofdisenchantment,nibbidā,whichisliberating.Nibbidācanbetranslatedasdisgust,andforsomethiscarriesasensethatitissomehowbad.Butconsider,‘gusto’istodowith‘flavoursome’.Disgustiswhatariseswhenthingslosetheirflavour,losetheirenchantmentorattraction,orcapacitytohookandpull.Whenthingsarenolongertastythereisasenseofeasefulness.Thatease,thateasefulness,thatpeaceisanindicationthepracticeisworking.

Maysuchastatebetheresultofyourpractisingasubhakammatthāna.

RadicalPurification

Adaptedfromatalkgivenatthe25thanniversaryofHarnhamMonastery,2006

AjahnChandapālowasborninEnglandin1957.Heenteredmonasticlifein1980andtookupasampadāwithAjahnSumedhoatCittavivekain1982.HehasstayedatalltheEuropeanbranchmonasteriesaswellasspendingoneyearinThailand.In1993hewasinvitedtoSantacittarāmain

Italyandhasbeentheabbottheresince1996.

‘Someimportantinsightsseemedtooccurinthosefirstyears;fullyrealizingtheseinsightscomesaswegraduallylearntointegratethemintoeverydaylife.’

ThemonasteryhereatHarnhamiscelebratingitstwenty-fifthanniversary.Ingeologicalterms,twenty-fiveyearsmaybejustablinkofaneyelidbutthefactthatsomeoftheyoungermembersofthecommunitytodaywerenotevenbornwhenthismonasterystartedgivesussomeideaofthisspanoftime.Mypartintheearlydevelopmentwasverysmall.Backthenin1981,Iwashereforaboutsixmonthsonly,butsincethenI’vebeenabletovisitregularlyandasI’maNorthernerIdohaveaspecialinterestinthedevelopmentofthismonastery.Formeit’sbeenabouttwenty-fiveyearsalso,inmonasticlife,sothishasgivenmeoccasiontolookbacktodayatthosefirstbeginningsandreflectonhowthingshavedevelopedsincethoseearlytimes.

Ididmyfirstten-dayretreatasalaymanwithAjahnSumedhoatOakenholt,nearOxford,inEasterof1979andthat’swhenagroupofmeditatorsfromNewcastlefirstexpressedtheirinteresttoAjahnSumedhoinofferingaplaceinNorthumberlandwheremonkscouldcomeandpracticemeditation.ItwasthisthateventuallyledtomyjoiningAjahnSucitto,asananāgārika,andourtravellingtogethertoHarnhamtohelpestablishwhatwastobecomeourfirstbranchmonasteryinBritain.

BuildingaMonastery

WecamehereinMarchofthatyear.AjahnSucittohadsaidweweregoingtooccupyasmall,simplecottageonahill–quitebasic,butthelaypeoplewereplanningtodotherenovationwork.Alltheywantedustodowastolivehereandpractise.Well,itdidn’tturnoutlikethatexactly.Thecottagewasindeedsimple:fourrooms,twoupandtwodown,withakindofextensionoutthebackwhichhadadirtfloor;thatwhichisnowthekitchen.Wehadonecoldwatertapwithabucketunderneath;

eventuallysomeonecameandplumbedinawashingbasinwhichseemedatthetimelikeamajordevelopment!Therewasatoilet,butitdidn’thaveaproperwallyet,justascreenyoucouldpullaround.Theyhadmadeaholeinthewallbutnowindow.IrecallthatonedayattheendofApril,therewasasnowblizzardandAjahnSucittofoundabouttwoinchesofsnowonthetoiletseat.Wegottogethersomepolytheneandbitsofoldcarpetandtackedthemupovertheholeinthewallsowecouldusethetoiletwithoutfreezingtodeath.

Althoughitwasprettybasicwewereyoungandfeltlikepioneerssowewillinglyenduredthehardshipsthatcameourway.Atthesametimetherewasalotofpositiveenergyaround.Wewereinspiredtobestartingsomethingnew.Iwouldgetupfirstthinginthemorningandlightafireintheroomwherewe’ddomorningpuja.I’dgointothebyre–nowwherethemonkssleep;thenitwasthecoalshed–andgetsomewoodandcoaltogetthefiregoing.DuringthesittingIwouldgetroastedononesidewiththeothersidefreezingcoldandtherewassomethinginmethatwantedtogetupandturnaroundtowarmtheotherside–butyouwerenotsupposedtodothat.EventuallyAjahnSucittodecideditwasbetternottolightthefireatall,thatwaywecouldbeuniformlycoldwhichhethoughtwouldbebetter.

InthoseearlydaystherewerenoAsianBuddhistsparticipating,onlyasmallgroupoflocalpeoplewhocameoutattheweekend.They’ddosomeworkandbringfoodandwerereallyinterestedinDhamma.ForthemostpartAjahnSucittohadtorelyonmetodoallthecooking.Irememberstudyingcookerybooksbeforegoingtobedatnight,worriedaboutwhatIcouldcookthefollowingmorning.CertainlyIcouldn’tcountonfindingalltheingredientsinthelarder.Butwithabitofingenuitywemanaged.

IofferedtostayontoassistduringthethreemonthsRainsRetreat(vassa)thatyearsoitcouldn’thavebeentoobad.Asitturnedout,however,insteadofitbeingaretreatinthewayonemightexpect,foratleastthefirstmonthwehadahugeamountofbuildingworktodo.Weputadamp-proofcourseallaroundthebuildingwhichinvolveddrillinghundredsofholesintothegranitewallswithadrillweborrowedfromChithurst(andruined)whichwasnotpowerfulenoughforthejob.Andtheninwhatisnowthereceptionroomweuncoveredanoldinglenookfireplace.Weplumbedinastoveandinstalledafluewhichinvolvedgettingupthechimneyandgettingcoveredinblacksoot.Atonestagewemovedadoorway,knockingamassiveholeinoneofthemainwalls.Ican’trememberwhattherealpointwas,therewasaplan.Thenextabbotchangeditbacktohowitwasoriginally.

Eventuallywestoppedallthephysicalworkandwentintoamonthlong,veryintensiveretreat.We’dgetupatthreeinthemorning;meetatthree-thirty,thenaftermorningpujaalternatesitting/walkingmeditationthroughtheday–anhoursittingthenanhourwalking.Wedidn’thavebreakfastinthosedays;justacupofcoffeethencontinuedmeditating.Themealforthedaywasatten-thirtyandwewouldstartagainatmidday.Therewasanhour ’sbreakintheevening,fivetillsix,andthencontinueformalpracticeuntilelevenatnight.

InpreparingthemealIwasinstructedtomixeverythingtogetherinalargeplasticbucket–oneofthoseonesthatisusuallyusedformoppingthefloors.IwastoldtosimplyofferthistotheSanghaatthemealtimealongwithaladle.Thiscametobeknownasthe‘bucketpractice’,astorysomeofyoumayhavealreadyheard!ThefirstcoupleofdaysIfeltabitqueasyasaresultofeatingthismixed-upfood,butafterawhileIgotusedtoit.Itwas,infact,verystraightforward.Youcouldgetasenseofhowmuchyouneeded–justtwoandahalfladles–youweren’tthinking,‘wellI’lltakeabitofthis

andabitofthat’.No,justtwoandahalfladlesandpassthebucketdown.

Understandably,however,thelaypeoplewhoweregenerouslyofferingthisfood,weren’tsohappyaboutit.Andinfactitdidn’treallyaccordwiththespiritofourTrainingRules(Sekhiya-vatta)whichsetouthowwemustacceptalmsfoodappreciatively.Soeventually,afterasubtleinterventionfromAjahnSumedho,the‘bucketpractice’wasdropped.

TalkingAboutPracticeandDoingIt

Meanwhiletheretreatwasgoingon.Therewerecertainlyphysicalhardships,butthereallydifficultpartwasthepsychologicalaspect.ThewayIhadbeenlivingasastudentpriortomyjoiningthemonasteryhadn’texactlypreparedmeforthis.ButsomeoftheearlyinsightsIhadhadwhenIfirststartedpractisingdidstandmeingoodstead.

AtuniversityIhadafriendandweenjoyedtalkingaboutBuddhistconceptsandthepracticeofmeditation.Thenonetimewejustdecidedtostopallthetalking,tostopwhatweweredoing,andsitandbestill.Wedidn’thaveanyformalmeditationexerciseinmind,juststoppingandbeingstillandturningattentioninwards.Thisexperiencegavemeasignificantinsightintothepotentialofthemind.Isensedakindofuntappedpotential.Itwasanintuitionabouttheminditself–notjustthecontentsortheactivityofthinking–butaninnerawarenessorspaciousness;theminditself.IhadasenseofthesourceofthingsandhowmaybethiswasthekeytoansweringallthequestionsIhadaboutwhatwasreallyimportantinlife.Therewasasenseofdiscovery,likeopeningupanotherdimension.Andwithitcameastrongintuitionthatdevelopingthisdifferentperspectiveonlife,thisspiritualdimension,wassomethingreallyworthwhile.ItwasthenIhadthefeelingthatmaybemeditationwasthekey;awayofactualizingthispotentialofthemind.ItwasafterthisexperiencethatIappliedmyselftolearningabout,andbeinginstructedin,meditationtechniques.EventuallyIdidtheten-dayretreatwithAjahnSumedhowhichImentioned.

TherewasanothersignificantdiscoveryduringtheperiodwhenIwasdoingmyMaster ’sdegree.Itwasthedaybeforethefinalexamsandoneoftheotherstudentscametoaskmetohelphimwithhispreparation.Thisfellowwasoneofthosetypeswhomanagetoirritateabsolutelyeveryone.Andheirritatedme.Hehadn’tmadeefforttoattendlecturesordohiscourseworkandnowhewasinterruptingmypreparationtime.AfterawhileIgotridofhim,withoutbeingrude,butIwasleftinastateofemotionalturmoil.Ifeltintenselyfrustratedandannoyed,atmyselfandhim,andwasnotatallinafitstatetopreparefortheexam.Iendeduplyingdownonmybed,curledupintoakindoffetalposition.ThensomethingcametomethatAjahnSumedhohadbeenteachingaboutmettapractice.Itwasn’tfollowingtheformaltechniqueofspreadingloving-kindnesstothispersonthenthatoneandsoon.Ratheritwassimplyrelaxingandallowingthingstobe;acceptingandbeingatpeacewiththingsastheyareinthemoment.IfoundIcouldrelaxandletthemindbeatease,allowingthatstatetobethere.Inwhatseemedtobeaveryshortspaceoftimethewholemoodwastransformed;Ifoundmyselffeelinglighter,somuchmorepeaceful.Ifeltaninnerglowthatwasquitemiraculous.AndIwasnowinamuchbetterframeofmindtopreparefortheexam.IrealizedthatbeforehavingstartedpractisingmeditationI’dprobablyhavedealtwiththesituationbygoingdowntothepubforafewdrinks,endingupinnotsuchagoodstateatall.

AtthetimeIdidn’tpaytoomuchattentiontothoseearlyexperiencesinpractice.ButasIreflectbacknowonmyyearsofmonasticlife,itseemsmuchofwhatIhavebeendoingovertheseyearsisapplyingthoseinsights–integratingthemintoeverydaylife.Thetrainingoffersaroutineforadaily-

lifepracticeofdevelopingawarenessasweattendtotheordinaryactivityofbody,speechandmind.Itcantakealotoftimeandskilltolearnhowtodealcorrectlywiththeissuesthatcomeupandobstructus.

Themindisverytricky.Forinstance,whenwehaveexperiencedsomeinitialinsightswetendtoassumewecanusetheseinsightstodealwithwhatevercomesup:nexttimewe’refeelingrotten,we’lljustapplythetechnique.Butitdoesn’twork.Thatoriginalexperiencewasspontaneous;withoutexpectation.Weweren’tdoingitasastrategy.Whenwedoitasastrategyitisnotthesamething.Butnevertheless,havinghadsuchanexperiencemeansweknowit’spossibletoaccessthiskindofinnerstateof‘allowing’.Weareawarethatthemindhashabitsandstrategiesandwelearnhowtograduallypurifyourapproach.

IntolerableIntensity

So,onthatfirstretreatatHarnham,thoseinitialexperiencesinpracticegavemetheabilitytoworkonsomeoftheemotionalandpsychologicalturmoilIhadgonethrough.Iwasfacedwitheventsandoccurrencesthatwerequitenewtome.OnedayIfoundmyselffullofrage,reallyinastateoffuryaboutsomething.AtfirstitwasquitefrighteningbecauseI’dalwaysperceivedmyselfassomebodywhowaseasy-going,quiteaplacidcharacter,andhereIwasinatotalrage.Whatwaswonderful,however,aboutencounteringmyselfonthatlevelofpassionwasthatIfoundIdidn’thavetoactonit.Eventuallythemoodfizzledoutonitsown.Then,lookingatitafterwards,IrealizedIhadn’tactedoutofthatrage;notwithbodyorspeech.AndIhadn’tsuppressediteither.Thisbroughtagreatsenseoffreedomandoftrust.Ihadallowedmyselftoexperiencesomethingintenseandpowerfulyetnotbecaughtintoitoroverwhelmedbyit.

Thefirstweekofthatretreatfeltlikeanemotionalroller-coaster.IrecallthinkingImusthaveexperiencedthewholerangeofstatespossibleforahumanbeing.It’sanexaggerationofcoursebutitfeltlikethat.ThereweretimeswhenIwasreallyinspiredandfullofjoyandatothertimesI’dbemiserableanddespairing.Isawhowundependablethemindcanbe,howchangeable.

ForawhileduringonemeditationsittingIbegantodwellinnostalgia.IrememberedareallynicegroupoffriendsIusedtohangoutwithatuniversity.SuddenlythethoughtcametomethatallthesepeoplehadmovedonandIcouldneverhavethepastbackagain.Atremendouswaveofsadnesscameovermeandthenjustthatmomentthebellrangtoendthesitting.Itwastimetogooutsideanddowalkingmeditation.Icameoutintotheback-yardandjustfellinthegrassandburstintotears;areallygoodcatharticweepingsession–rightherewheretheDhammaHallisnow.AfterwardsIhadasenseofreliefandthingsfeltlighter.Wecontinuedwiththatsameroutineforseveralweeksafterthatandthewholethingwassomewhateasier.Howevermypracticehadtakenonafeelingofdiscouragement;somuchphysicalpainandemotionalturmoil,meditationhadbecomeanordeal.Ijustcouldn’tbringmyselftodoitformorethanafewminutes.Ifeltreallyhopeless,asthoughI’dlostthebestpossibleopportunity.

AftertheRainsRetreatIwentbacktoChithurstandthereIthrewmyselfintoserving.Ifelthopelessintermsofmeditation;Iwasjustgladtobeabletohelpoutwiththechoresandalltheworktherewastodo.AsananāgārikaIwouldgetupandlightthewood-burningstoveandthenmakethegruel–wehadstartedhavingbreakfastbythen.

GraduallyIbegantofeelabitbetteraboutmyselfandslowlyregainedsomeconfidence.Itwasatthis

timethatAjahnSumedhowasappointedasanupajjhāya(preceptor)whichmeanthecouldconductthefirstbhikkhuordinationceremony.Thatceremonyofthreeanagarikas‘goingforth’reallyinspiredme.Ifeltuplifted,totheextentthateventhoughIhadbeenthroughsomeseriousdifficulties,Isawhowstrengtheningtheyhadbeen.Besides,somethinginmefeltitcouldn’tgetmuchworsethanithadbeenanyway.SowhenIaskedAjahnSumedhoforordinationheacceptedandthefollowingyearItookupasampadā(fullacceptanceintothecommunityasamonk).

ForquiteanumberofyearsIdidn’thaveanopportunitytocomeandvisitHarnham.Therewasoneperiodin1985whenAjahnTiradhammowastheabbot,Iwassupposedtocomehereforawinterretreat.I’dbeenhelpingatAmaravatiwiththeplumbing,installingaheatingsystemandputtingintheshowers.ThefirstwinteratAmaravatihadbeenexceptionallycoldandwehadalotofproblemswithburstpipes–I’dbeenbusywiththatuntilJune.WhenIwasofferedanopportunitytocomeuptoHarnhamforthewinterretreatIwaskeentogo.Myroomwastidied,mybagspackedandeverythingwasready.Butthateveningthetemperaturestartedtodropsharply.Iwasawaretherewasonlyoneothermonktherewhowasabletodoplumbing,TanSubato,andIfeltIcouldn’tleavehimtocopeonhisown.SoIofferedtostayonandcontinuetohelp–alotofmypracticeinthosedayswascrawlingaroundunderthefloorsmendingburstpipes.

FindingInnerResources

EventhoughI’venotbeenaresidenthereatHarnhamsincethattime,myparentslivenearbyinYorksoItaketheopportunitytocomebackforavisiteveryyear.It’sbeenverygratifyingtoseehowthingshavedeveloped,notonlyintermsofthebeautifulbuildingsbutalsointermsofthecommunity.IappreciatebeingabletolookbacktothosefirstsixmonthsofmylifeintheSangha.AndIfindthatmostofmymemoriesarequitehappy.ItwasduringthattimeIrealizedthatthisiswhatIwantedtodowithmylife;despiteallthedifficultiesandbeingchallengedinmanyways.Suchexperiencescanshowuswhereourinnerresourceslie.Theinsightsofthosefirstyearsprovidethefoundationforourpractice.Afterthat,righteffortinpracticemeansengagingourinnerresourcesaswelearntomorefullyrealizethetruthofthoseinsights.Graduallyourperspectivebecomesclearer.

Now,aftertwenty-fiveyears,IfeelanimmensesenseofgratitudetothelaypeoplewhohavesupportedmethroughtheseyearsandtotheSanghahereandalltheothermonasteriesI’velivedin.ThislastyearI’vebeenawayonasabbatical;havingsometimefreefromtheresponsibilityofrunningthemonasterywhereInormallyliveinItaly.Itisajoytobeabletodwellinappreciationforthegoodresultsofhavinglivedthiswayforthisperiodoftime.Irealizethattheselastfewyearshavebeenthehappiestofmylife.It’sbeenagradualprocess,ofcourse;therehavebeentimeswhenit’sbeendifficulttoseelightattheendofthetunnel.Interestinglythough,Ihavefoundthatattimesit’sbeeneasiertopractisewhenthingsaredifficult.Whenwefeelchallenged,weareforcedtobemorepresent.Weareobligedtomakeanefforttodealwiththesituationandthereisnotimeforindulgingindistraction.Whenthingsaremorecomfortableandwehavemoretime,it’seasiertogetdistracted.There’snoendtowhatwecanbepulledoutinto.Soit’sessentialthatwedevelopandmaintainasenseofdirection.ThisiswhattheteachingoncommittingourselvestoDhammavinayaisabout.

Justaswe,inourindividualpractice,goupanddown,overthepasttwenty-fiveyearsthismonasteryhaslikewisebeenthroughitsdifficulttimes;butthatoriginalvisionandaspirationhavebeenrealized.Ifyouthinkaboutwhatthisplaceoffersandhowmanypeoplehavevisitedorstayedhere,

learnedtopractisemeditationhere,heardtheDhamma,joinedtheSanghahere.Itseffecthascertainlybeendisproportionatetoitssize.Itsparishisalmostaslargeasmine;thewholeofItaly!Itisdifficulttoquantifytheeffects,butI’msurethousandsofpeoplehavebenefittedfromtheripplingeffectofthepracticedonehere.

So,bestwishesforthenexttwenty-fiveyears.Iwonderwho’llbehereforthefiftiethanniversary.Someofusmightstillbearound,youneverknow,andwemightgettogetherandreminisceaboutthetwenty-fifthanniversary?Sothankyouforyourattentionandforthisopportunitytosharethesereflections.

RightOrientation

AdaptedfromatalkgivenatLaRetraite,Francein2010

AjahnKhemasiriwasborninEastGermanyin1950.HebecameanoviceinAmaravatiBuddhistCentrein1984andwasacceptedintotheBhikkhuSanghain1986.In1993hemovedtoDhammapālaMonasteryinSwitzerlandandin1995wenttoThailandandBurma.HereturnedtoDhammapālain

1999andsince2005hasbeentheabbotofthemonasticcommunitythere.

‘Thekilesāarenotathomeinourhearts;they’remerelyvisitors.’

Somebodyonceaskedawell-knownIndianspiritualteacher,‘Whatisrenunciation?’Hereplied,‘Renunciationisthegivingupofanysenseofself’.‘Andforthatdoyouhavetogiveupallyourpossessions,giveupallthatyouown?’Theteacheranswered,‘Aboveall,youhavetogiveuptheowner.’

Theactofrenunciationis,ofcourse,animportantprincipleinBuddhismtoo.Itisoftenassociatedwithpeoplewhoareinaveryobviouswaypractisingawayofrenunciation,suchasmonksandnunsandholymenwalkingthestreetsofIndia.Butthisisonlytheoutwardform:givingupworldlypossessionsasanactofrenunciation.Moreimportantistheinnersenseofrenunciation,givingupanyimpulses,thoughts,feelingsoremotionswhicharecomingfromasenseof‘self’,fromegoicidentity.

Weallknowwecan’tjuststoptheseimpulsesasanactofwill,orbymakingavoworstatementlike,‘Irenounceallnegativeimpulses.I’llnevergiveintoanynegativefeelingfromnowon.’Infactifwemakesuchboldstatements,itislikelythatveryquicklyawaveofpassionoraversionwillcomeoveruswithaforceweneverhaveexperiencedbefore.Thisseemstobelikealawoftheuniverse.It’sasifitissaying:‘See...?’Oritmightalsobeaskingus,‘Haveyoureallyseenyet;haveyoureallyseenthisstateofmind,thisnegativeimpulseforwhatitis;haveyouseenitwithwisdom?’Thisisthedirectionourcontemplationneedstobeheading:toseehowgesturesofrenunciationhavetobebasedonwisdom,ratherthanonaboldstatementoranactofwillormerelyasanactofexternalrenunciation.

Irememberinthe70sand80stherewasafamousguruaround,whoownedahundredRolls-Royces.And,ofcourse,hewasoftenquestioned,‘WhatdoesapersonneedsomanyRolls-Roycesfor;wouldn’tonebeenough?’Andtheanswerhegavewasthathewantedtodemonstratetotheworld

howattachedweare,asobservers,toexternalappearances,topossessions–whereashewastotallyunattachedtoworldlypossessions.Hewasindicatingthatwearetheoneshavingtheproblem–nothimwithhishundredRolls-Royces.Ofcoursewecan’tknowhowattachedorunattachedthispersonwasbutsomethingthereseemstobeabitoff;theinteriorandexteriordidnotseemtobeinharmony.AsAjahnChahoftensaid,acaseof,‘Rightbutnottrue;truebutnotright’.Therealstateofnon-attachmentisnon-attachmenttoallegoicimpulses.

AskingtheRightQuestions

Sointhiscontext,we’relookingatourinnerattitude.IntheBuddha’steachingsontheEightfoldPath,thesecondlinkisRightIntentionorRightThought,orwhatIliketocallRightOrientation.Ithastodowithourfundamentalapproachtolife;thewayweapproachourexperience.Inthetextstherearethreeaspectsmentioned:renunciation,compassionornon-harming,andmettāorbenevolentattention–kindness.TheBuddhagaveemphasistothesethreeaspectsofRightOrientationbyplacingthemrightupfront;justfollowingaftertheveryfirstaspect,RightView.

Onedoesnotnecessarilyhavetobecomeamonkornunandcompletelyrenouncethehouseholdlife;thatisnotwhatisdemanded.Themonasticpathisespeciallyrecommendedforthosewho,inthislife,findtheyhaveaparticularleaningtowardsit.Oryoucouldsay,theirinnerdevelopmentoveralongperiodoftime–theirkamma–hasbroughtthemtothepositionwheretheycandothis;theyarefree,orhavethecourageandyearningtolivethislifeinthatparticularway.ButtheEightfoldPathisnotdevisedformonasticsonly;it’sdevisedforeverybody.So,ifweareactivelytryingtopractisetheBuddha’sEightfoldPathwe’reallinthesameboat.

Wehavetoaskourselves,inwardly,whatdoesrenunciationmeanforme?Whatkindofrelevanceandsignificancedoesithaveformepersonally?Sometimeswenoticeasenseofaversionwhenweevenheartheword‘renunciation’,particularlyaspeoplefromWesterncountries.Wedon’tlikeitbecausewefeelafraidthatsomebodywantstotakesomethingawayfromus.ThereisthisBuddhistmonkupthere,ortheBuddhaorwhoever,andhewantstotakesomethingawayfrommewhichIreallylike;somethingthatIdon’twanttogiveup.Actually,Icertainlywouldn’twanttotakeanythingawayfromyou,butIwouldliketoencourageyoutoaskyourselves,whatwouldbeaworthwhilethingtogiveup.Ifitwassomethingalongthelinesofgivingupgreed,aversion,delusion,Ithinkeverybodywouldagreeandbehappydoingthat.

Onanideallevel,thisallsoundsverynice.Butwhenitcomesdowntothedetails,thenitgetsalittletricky.Wearealittlebithesitantaboutcertainthingsbecausewedohaveourstructuresofwanting,ofdesiring,thingswelike,thingswe’vebecomeaccustomedto.Wehavecertainpatternswefeelveryinaccordwith;wegetusedtocertainpersonalpreferences.Thosearethemoredifficultthingstogiveup:theparticularhabitsofheartandmind.That’sthemorechallengingaspectforus.Evenifwehaveseenandfeltthatitisdetrimentaltoourwell-beingtofollowangryorimpulsivetendencies,attimeswedon’tseemtobeabletodomuchaboutit.It’snotreallyunderthedominionofourwill–ourwilldoesnotgofarenough.Weneedtohaveanotherwaytodealwiththingswewouldliketorenounce.

Thefirstpart,however,isthatwehavetoacknowledge,personally,howpainfulitisforustofollowtheimpulsesofaversionandholdingon.Supposewehavesomethingparticularlyagreeable;somethingwereallylikeandweholdontoitwithyearning.Wecanseehowunpleasantandhowpainfulgraspingis,andyetatthesametimehowhopelessourholdingonis:bytheirverynaturethesethingsarebeyondourcontrol.Butmanipulatingexperienceiswhategosliketodo.Youcould

saythatthewholestructureofourself–ofourpersonalityorwhatyoucouldcommonlycall‘ego’–isastructureforcontrollingexperience.Andifit’snotmodifiedbyasenseofethicalvalue,ethicalintegrity,it’sgoingtohaveveryharmfulresults.Theuntrainedmindhasnolimitsconcerningwhatitwants;endlesslygoingafteranyimpulseofwanting.Nowadayseventhewholeplanetlooksabitlikeamanifestationofwantingwithoutlimitations.

Consideringtheexternalchangesoftheworldmanypeoplehavedoubtsaboutthevalidityofthekindofinnerworkwearedoinghere.Theyfindthatjusttositandmeditateandwatchone’sownmindisnotenough.‘Youshouldbeouttheredoingsomethingaboutthegreedandtheaversionandthedelusionoutthere.’I’mnotsayingthatit’sinappropriateorunsuitabletodoanythingontheexternallevelofourlives.Don’tgetmewrong.Butspeakingassomeonewhoviewsthecultivationoftheheartasapriorityorientation,Iamverymuchawarethatit’sin‘here’wherethingsarise;in‘here’wherethingsstart;inourownhearts.That’swheregreed,hatredandaversiontaketheirbeginning.Thegoodnewshoweveristhatthisisalsowheretheyfindtheirend.

GettingtotheRoot

We’veheardintheTeachings,theBuddhahasspokenaboutitnumeroustimes:thekilesāorthepassionsoftheheart,they’renotathomeinourhearts;youcouldsaythey’remerelyvisitors.The‘blind’orignorantmindcannotseetherealitythattheBuddhataught.Thereisnotenoughpersonalawarenessorreflectiveability.Hencetheassumptionthatanystateofmindwhicharises‘belongs’there,isathomethere.That’showitlooksataglance;that’showitlookssuperficially.Butifourreflectiveabilityisabitmoreswitchedon–whichiswhatwearedevelopinginourefforttobemorecarefulaboutourexperience–thenwecanseethattherearelawsgoverningthearisingandpassingawayofthesedisturbancesintheheart.

Ifwereallylookwithinamorespaciousmind,wecanseethatthesethingsjusttendtoarise:suddenlyaversionisthere;suddenlyfearisthere;suddenlyjealousyisthere.IntheWestourtendencyistowardsbeinganalyticalabouttheircauses:‘WhydoIhavethisjealousy?WhydoIhavethisanger?’IntraditionalBuddhistcountriespeoplewouldperhapsprefertothink,‘OhyesthisisbecauseinpreviouslivesImusthavedonereallyhorriblethings.’Boththeseexplanationsareallrighttoacertainextent,theyarepartlysatisfactory,buttheydon’treallygototherootoftheproblem.

Sohowdowedealwithnegativestatesofmind?HowcanthepurityofheartwhichtheTeachingsoftenspeakaboutrevealitself?Istheresomethingwecando?Theindicationseemstobethatifweareinthestanceofresistanceandcontrol,thenthesementalstatestendtosticktouslikeglue–theyreoccurallthetime,againandagainandagain.Oftenweidentifywithaparticularstate,orwholegroupofstates,andthencharacterizeourselvesaccordingly;weactthepartandjudgeourselvesasanangrypersonorajealouspersonorafearfulperson,forexample.Thisisabigmistake.Intruthallthatwashappeningwasjustvariousstatesarisingand,ifwehadlookedclosely,wewouldhaveseenalso,theystayforawhileandthendisappear.It’salwayslikethis.

Wemustcarefullyinvestigatethetendencytobecomeangryorjealousorafraid.Noticeforinstancehowyoucan’tstayangryforever,orbejealousorafraidforever.Whenthesepotentiallyharmfulstatesofmindariseinus,wecanlearntoberighttherewiththem.Takethemoutofthedomainofthethinkingmind–thethinkingmindcannotreallyhelpus.Itonlycreatesmoreproblems–especiallyifwegointocommentariesandsub-commentariesaboutourexperience.Andthesecommentariesareoftennotverykind,notveryfriendly.

ThisiswheretheothertwoaspectsofRightOrientationcomein:kindnessandcompassion–directedtowardsourselves,towardsourownexperience.Rememberthispersonhere,‘me’,isthepersonIamclosestto.IfIamhonest,IcansaythatIwantthispersonheretobeabsolutely,unconditionallyhappyandcontent.Andsoit’sthesameforyou;justthesame.Weareallinthesameboat:weallwantthatcontentmentandfreedomofheartandunconditionedhappiness.Meanwhilehowever,wehaveafewthingstodealwithbeforewecanarrivethere.

LettingGooftheGood

Thatholdingontonegativestatesofmindandheartleadsusintotroubleisprettyobvious.Buteventhegoodstates,thewonderfulstates,weneedtoletthemgotoo.Itisnotrighttoholdontothemeither.TheBuddhawarnedusnottoholdontotherefinedstatesofourmeditation.Theanalogyisthatofheavenlybeings,whoenjoytheblissoftheirownminds.Theyjusthavetothinkofsomethingwonderfulforittoberightthere.Oneofthem,Brahmā,livesinthetopstoreysoftheHeavenlyRealmsandisfreefromanykindofaversionandanger–eveninthemostsubtleway.Imagine,itissorefined:youdon’thavetogotothetoilet,youdon’thavetoeat;youdon’thavetobathe;youdon’thavetowearclothes.ButBrahmāisstillnotfree.Why?Becauseit’satransientstate,it’snotpermanent.Andonceitdawnsontheseheavenlybeingsthattheirlifespanisabouttocometoanend,theygetverysad.Itfeltabsolutely,almostunconditionally,wonderfulbeforetheyrealizeditwouldcometoanend.Itissaidthatthesehighbeingsrealizethattheirheavenlyconditioniscomingtoanendwhentheirarmpitsbegintogiveoffanunpleasantsmell.Whethersuchrefinedetherealbodiesareevenabletogiveoffsuchcoarseodoursisquestionable.Butitisexpressiveenoughforustogetthemessage.

Whentimeinonerealmceases,accordingtoBuddhistcosmology,yougetrebornintosomeotherstateofexistence.Applythisdirectlytoourownexperienceandwecanseehowwegetrebornintoanotherstateofmind.Wemaytrytohangon,evenafterourwonderfulstateendsandwedon’tknowwherethat’lllead.Sometimeswecanjustgoonandonfordays,weeksevenorlonger,dwellingonthoughtsaboutsomewonderfulexperiencewehadinthepast.Wearesoabsorbedinourmemoriesofapleasantpast;perhapswedon’teverrealizethatwearesurroundedbysomanykindandgentlepeople,orthatthesunisshining,thebirdsaretwitteringinthetrees.Wearewalkinginbeautifulsurroundingsbutdon’tnoticeitbecauseweareabsorbedinthisfeelingof,‘Oh,wasn’titwonderful,tendaysago,ortenyearsago....’

DaringtoLookClosely

Sothesearethetendenciesweallhave.Wetendtopushawaythatwhichwedon’tlike,whichwefinddisagreeable;that’sonestancewecantake.Ortheotherstanceisthattendencytoholdon,theinabilitytoletgo.Thislettinggocanonlyhappenthroughinsight,throughunderstanding.Theword‘vipassanā’means‘insight’.Passanāmeanstosee,tolook.Andtheprefix‘vi’makesitstronger–preciselyseeing,preciselylooking.It’snotjustlookingfromtheoutsidein,sotospeak.Weneedtobeboldenough,daringenough,togoveryclosetoourexperience–fullyawareandswitchedon.

It’snotsomekindofartificialdistancingfromourexperiencewhereweobserveourexperience‘overthere’inordertofeeldetached.Thatestrangesusfromourexperience;webecomealienatedandlosetouchwithwhatisreallyhappening.Wemightthink‘I’mverydetached,youknow’,becauseI’mlookingatit‘overthere’;I’vegotridofallattachmentsbecauseit’s‘overthere’.Noticehowthere’sstillanelementofcontrolinvolved;there’sresistance;keepingthingsatadistance.Thisisnot

vipassanā.Thetrueunderstandingofvipassanaisthatwedaretolookclosely;willingtostaypresent.Evenwhenchallengingexperiencesoccur,we’rewillingtostaythereinthepresent.

So,we’rerenouncingthetendencytobelieveinouregoicvoicesandimpulses.Ifweexperiencefear,forexample,theegoicimpulsetellsustorunaway;getawayasquickaswecan,andthat’squitenatural,ofcourse.Incertainsituationsthiswouldbetherightthingtodo.Ifyoumeetadangerousanimaloutinthewildsitmightbeagoodideatorunawayasquickasyoucanandclimbatree.Youalsohavetobequicktoassesswhichanimaliswhich,andwhetherrunningawayorclimbingatreeisthesafestthingtodo.Howeverninety-ninepointninepercentofallthefearsweexperiencehavenothingtodowithsituationslikethat.Itisusuallyfeelingsandemotionsorthoughtsthatwefindfearfulandimpulsivelywanttogetawayfrom.That’swhatImeanbyrenouncingtheimpulse,theegoicimpulsetorunaway.Welearntostaythere,andofcourseittakesconvictionanddeterminationtobeabletodothat.ThisiswhyIrecommendyoudon’tstartwiththebigchallenges;startwiththelittleonessoyoucantryitoutandbuildupaninnerconfidence.Thenyouareproperlypreparedwhenthebigonescomealong.

SomeyearsagoinAmerica,atthetimeoftheColdWar,aquestionnairewasdesignedtofindoutwhathumanbeingsfearedmost.Youwouldhaveexpectedthatpeoplewouldbemostafraidofthenuclearthreat;thatwe’dallgetexterminated.Butitwasn’t.Thebiggestfearformostpeoplewaspublicspeaking.Itsoundsstrange,doesn’tit?Givingatalk?Itdoesn’tkillyou,doesit?However,thewayweperceiveitinternally,canbeextremelythreatening.Sowhatisitthatisbeingthreatenedhere?Andwecomeagaintothislittleword‘ego’,andwithittoastrongsenseof‘me’vs.‘them’.Onewantstoappearinaparticularway,performinaparticularwayinfrontofothers.Onewantstobeappreciated,wantstobeliked,tobeloved.Egoslikeallthesethings.The‘other ’outthereinfrontofusisthethreateningthing,sayfivehundredpeople,whoinourmind’screationcouldpotentiallygiveusthe‘thumbs-down’.

FindingourSpiritualButtons

LuangPorChahusedtoaskhismonkstogiveverylongDhammatalks.Itwasatestofhowtheywoulddealwiththeparticularstatesofmindarisinginthesituationofgivingthetalk.AndIrememberAjahnSumedhotellingusthatAjahnChahonceaskedhimtogiveaDhammatalkinfrontofthewholeassemblyduringwhichhekeptnudginghimtogoonandonandon.Thetalklastedforthreehours.Hehadtowatchhisownmindallthewaythroughtheperiodswhenhehadnoideasanymoreaboutwhattosay;resistingtheinclinationtocomeoutwithsomeBuddhistplatitudes.Meanwhilepeopleintheaudiencewereyawningandevenlyingdowninthebacktosnooze.Orthey’djustgetupandwalkout.Youcanimagineitwasquitechallenging.Youwanttobeappreciatedbyyouraudiencebutyouraudiencedisintegratesinfrontofyou.Soitbroughtoutthisverystrongsenseofself:‘me’,nobodylikesme,nobodyappreciatesme.AjahnSumedhoonlycametoseethisafterthesituation.Hedidn’tknowbefore,thatthat’swhyhehadtogivethisverylongtalk.

Thisisasignofareallygoodteacher.Hehasawayofputtingyouinasituationwhereyoucometoseethisverystrongsenseofselforegoasitarises.Itisespeciallyimportanttowatchoutforthe‘spiritual’selfthatariseswhenyouhavebeenmeditatingforafewyears.Thereyouare,livinginamonasteryforafewyears,anda‘spiritualself’showsup:youonlyhave‘pure’mindstatesarisinguntilyourteacherputsyouinasituationwheresuddenlynotsopurestatesarise.IrememberAjahnSumedhosayinghecouldattimesbeveryangrywithAjahnChah.Hehadanincredibleamountof

devotionandloveforhisteacher.OfcourseAjahnChahwouldnotdoanythingharmfulorunethical;perhapsjustaslightshiftofrhythminthemonasteryorarecommendationthatAjahnSumedhodosomethingagainsthispreferences,anditwouldimmediatelypresshisbuttons.Thatisanothersignofagoodteacher:heisnotconcernedifhisdisciplesareangryabouthim.Infacthefindsitquiteamusing.ThoselikeAjahnSumedhowhoaretrulyinterestedtotrainarewillingtotakeit.Theyseethepoint.

Yourteacherwillpressyourbuttons.However,mostofusdon’thavesuchateachertodothatforus.Ourbuttonsgetpressedbyourhusbandsorwives,orpeopleweworkwith,orthechildrenorgrandmotherorwhatever.Andwetendtothink,‘Ihavearighttobeangry,thisisawful.’Becausewethinktheyarenotourspiritualmasters.Well,that’sanassumption,isn’tit?Toassumethatourhusbandorwifeisnotaspiritualmaster.Maybethispersonisjustthespiritualmasterweneedrightnow.It’smuchbettertoadopttheattitudethatthepeopleyouworkwith,oryoulivewith,areyourspiritualteachers,ratherthangoingaroundblamingthem;andtellingthemwhat’swrongwiththem.‘You’rewrong!Ifyouhadn’tsaidthattomeIwouldn’thavefeltangry.’Ifwe’rebeginningtotakeresponsibilityforourownlifethenwearemorecarefulandnotsolikelytofollowtendenciestoblame.

Thenagain,thingsdohappen.Ourspouses,ourchildrenorthepeopleweworkwithprovideatrigger.Butthat’salltheyare;they’reonlythetriggers.Theyarenotthecauseforouranger.Thecauseforourangerissomewhereelse–thecauseforourangerisin‘here’.Thesearelatenttendencieswehave:toexplodewithanger,orcontractinfear,orgoaroundwithragingdesire.

Toroundoff,becarefulnottoavoidtherealissue.Ifwewanttobefreefromfeelingoppressed,thenwereallyhavetoinvestigate.Wemustfirstinvestigatethenatureofexperience:whatisitlike?Howsolidisit?Whatisresponsibleforitsarising?Whatisresponsibleforitstaying,ortheimpressionthatitishangingaround?Then,ofcourse,whatisitthatallowsittocease,toend?Thisiswhatisbeingaskedofus–notverymuchactually–wejustneedtherightmixtureoftherightformofattention,basedonRightOrientation.AlsotheRightView,howthelawofkammaworks;kammainthesenseofhowouractions–mental,verbalandphysical–influenceus.Whereandhowwecanmeetthat.Wherewecanmeetourkammaanddirectitinsuchawaythatitmovestowardsthewholesome,thebeneficial,ratherthanreinforcingoldnegativehabits.

SoI’dliketoofferthatforthisevening.

Benevolence

BasedonatalkgivenatAmaravatiRetreatCentre,in2010

AjahnSundarawasborninFranceandwasoneofthefirstfourwomentohavejoinedthemonasticcommunityin1979atChithurstMonastery.In1983shetookpreceptsasaSiladharawithLuangPorSumedhoaspreceptor.ShemovedtoAmaravatiMonasteryin1984.From1995shespentseveralyears

practisinginaforestmonasteryinThailand.TodaysheislivingatAmaravatiMonastery.

“Whenyou’renotattached,youarecreative,fearless;you’refuntobewith.”

Thecultureinwhichweliveisprimarilyfocusedonintellect.Wemaynotfullyrecognizethisbutoureducationisofthemind,oftheintellect.Weareverymuchintoplayingaroundwithconceptsandideas.Logicalreasoningandmakingdeductionsfromcauseandeffectarethingswe’requitegoodat.We’realsogoodatmakingsenseofthings–weknowhowthingswork.Thiswayoffunctioninghasitsusefulness–uptoapoint.Butobviouslyifyoureallybelievedyourintellectual,conceptualmindwastheonlytoolyouhad,youwouldn’tbeherelisteningtothistalk,investigatingyourmind,contemplatingthoughts,intermsofanicca-dukkha-anattā.You’veseenthelimitationofthoughts,thelimitationofconceptsandideasandthelogicalmind.Nowyoumaynotthinkverymuchofthat,butthat’salreadyquiteastep.It’sanenormoussteptobeabletoseeyourthinkingmindasanobjectratherthanbelievinginitall;forgettingthesubjectivityofourthoughts

Thisisourpredicament:weliveinaverysubjectiveworld.Wehavewhatweneed,unlikemanycountrieswherefamineisgoingonallthetime.Wemightbequibblingaboutthebestorganicbrownricewhile,sayinAfrica,peoplearejustsurvivingwithbarelyenoughcleanwatertodrink.ButI’mnotsayingthistomakeyoufeelguilty–it’sjusttobringyouintothepicture–theseareyourblessings.Weliveinacountrythatisbenevolent.It’srelativelypeaceful.We’renotputinjailbecauseofwhatwesay;thereisstillroomforviewsandopinionsandroomforourmindtothinkwhatitwants.

Wehavegoodenergyallaround.Yetwemightforgetthesegoodforcesandinsteaddwellalotonthoughtslike:‘I’mabadmeditator.Idon’thaveenoughpatience.I’mhopeless.I’mnotgoodenough.Thisisdukkha!Ican’tgetridofit.Ihaven’thadmyfavouritecake;myfavouritecoffee.’Weneedtorememberthebenevolentnatureoftheworldwelivein;recognizethecontextinwhichwelive.Thisrealizationgrowsaswedevelopourpracticebecausedevelopingthepracticeisalreadyablessingin

itself.Developyourpracticeandyoufindthattheblessingsaremoreapparent;youfeelheldbymoreblessings.Itmaysoundabitfar-fetched,sincewedotendtotalkalotaboutdukkhabutweneedtobringthisdukkhaintoacontextthatmakesourpracticesustainable.

Ifyoujustfocusondukkhawithamindstillstickingandbelievingandnotfreeyet,it’seasytorecreateawholeuniverseofthesemiserable,obsessivethoughtsgoingonandonandonthroughthedaywithoutstopping;theseachesandpainsofthebody;thememoryofmiserabletimesandthedramasinyourlife;difficultrelationship,difficultwork,lackofwork,lackofmoney,thechildrengetdifficult.It’stheendlessdukkharealm.Wedon’thaveapropercontextforlookingintothesethings,sowearepressurizedtofindareasonforthisdukkha,andifwewerewisetoit,wewouldgointherightdirection;wewouldlookintherightplace.Unfortunately,becauseofthisconstantrestlessnessandagitationoftheheartwekeeplookinginthewrongdirection.Insteadoflooking‘inhere’,wekeeplooking‘outthere’.Thereisdukkhabecauseofthis,becauseofthat,becauseofhim,becauseofher.It’sthejob,it’smyparents.Thisisthenetofdukkhathatwearepartofwhenwelookinthewrongdirection.

Weliveinaworldinwhichwesoeasilyforgettheblessingsofourlife.Andwithterrificdeterminationweperpetuatethecausesofsuffering.Ifyouhaven’tgotthelatestcar,you’rejustnotgoodenough.Endlessremindersfromtheworldoutsidethatdukkhastartsoutthere.It’syourmother ’sfault,yourfather ’sfaultoryourfault,yourself(ofcourse).So,it’snotabadideatorememberourcontextofblessings–wecanbehereatAmaravati,we’reingoodhealth,wearefedandwe’rewithabenevolentgroupofpeople.Sointhiscontextofbenevolencewecanstartlookingatdukkha.

WhatisthedukkhathattheBuddhatalkedabout?Thereistheobviousdukkhawhenyou’resittingonthecushionandfeelingrestless.Dukkhaisgoingtochangeifyoumoveyourleg.Youhavethisamazingreliefforabouttwentyseconds‘Ahh...’,andthesamepainreturns–alittleparadigmofourwholelife.Everytimesomethingjustdoesn’tgoquiteright,wemoveawayfromit,‘turnaroundtotheright,liftthefootalittlebit,nowtotheleftandthatfeelsabitbetter.’Butwegetstuckagainandthesameoldachereturns.Weallgothroughthis.Thisisthemaindukkha,thisinabilitytostaywithitandconstantdesireforchange,formovingaway,aconstantkindofwrigglingonlife’sseat.

Youhaveanideaofhowyoushouldbeallthetime.Upright,bright,withstrength,vigour,clearmind,thoughtsshouldbelovingandsweetandkind,caringforallsentientbeingstillthelastbladeofgrass....Andalltheseimagesandidealsinourconsciousnessarecreatingstressforus.Thisisanotheraspectofdukkha.Livingwithamindthat’sbeeneducatedtoconjureupbeautifulideals.Theyareuseful.That’swhatmakestheworldmoveon.Butifthereisnowisdomintheseideals,itcreatesstress.

TheIdealandtheReal

Thereisrealityandthereareideals–twoforcesworkingagainsteachother.Theidealistobereallybrightandjoyfulinthemorning;jumpingoutofbed,startingmyyoga,noobstacles,everythingsmooth.Butitdoesn’tworklikethatatall.Weareworkingwithverypowerfulforcesofresistance.That’sanotherdukkha.Enormousresistance,wetalkaboutgoodandevil;evilisabigword,isn’tit?It’saloadedconcept.ASufimastersaidthatifyouarelookingforthedevilyoudon’tneedtogoveryfar.Justlookatyourself.That’sthedevil.Thedevilisignorance.ThisisMāra,theonethatblindsyoutoknowing.NotknowingisMāra,delusion.Wearenotenlightenedyetandwe’reworking

withtheseforces.There’sapartofusthatknowsandapartofusthatdoesn’t.Anduntilweareliberatedfromourattachment,wearewiththenot-knowingmind.

However,thefactthatwehavethecapacitytotakerefugeinawarenessisalreadyhavingthisknowingmindwithinoneself–inthemidstofnotknowinganything–lookingatthebenevolentcontextagain–it’sablessing,isn’tit?Considercarefullywhatthatmeansinyourdailylife.Youcantapinto,atanymoment,thisknowingmind,themindthatknows.

Thishabitofclingingtothethinkingmind,andimaginingthatbecauseweclingtogoodthoughts,thingsshouldworkout.Theideathat,ifItakerefugeinmindfulnessthatmeansthatImustbemindfulallthetime.Itisquiteextraordinarythatevenasapractitionerwecanincreaseourdukkhathroughthepracticeitself.Weclingtotheidealofbeingagoodmeditatorandspendawholehourtryingtofindthisgoodmeditator.Wecan’tfinditandgetreallyfrustratedwiththispersonthatwe’relookingforthat’snotus.Agoodmeditatorisnotthesamethingasanidealofameditator.Agoodmeditatorissomebodywhoisatpeacewithwhatisnow,seeingclearlywhatisnow,abletobepatientwithwhatisnow,abletoacceptdukkha,abletoseeanicca,impermanence.

Beingagoodmeditatorisnotaboutclingingtogoodstatesofmind.Thescripturesrefertoameditatorhavingbrightandradiantstatesofmind.Doesthatmeanweshouldclingtothatideal?No.

Iamnotgettingmyconcentration.Igetfrustrated.Iamnotgettingmypainlessbody.Igetfrustrated.Thethingisifyouareabletobemindful,inthatmomentyouexperiencethepeacethatcomeswithlettinggoofattachmenttothatdesire.Awarenesscanbeafrustratingexperiencefortheegobecauseit’sconstantlyunderminingourattachments.Well,isn’titwhattheheartisyearningfor?Nowyouarecapableofbearingwiththefrustration,thedukkhathatcomesfromnotfollowingdesire,theextremes–thewantingandnotwanting,becomingandnotbecoming,gettingandnotgetting.

Butyoudohavetobebrave.Māraisgoingtoputalotofpressureonyouwhenyoudon’tfollowitanymore.Alittlewarning,itwillpressurizeyou,likethepainIhaveinmyhipjoint.So,it’saboutbeingabletoseetherealpainthat’sthere,andtoseetheimpulsetowanttochangeit;notnecessarilybecausethepainhasincreasedbutbecausethemindcannottakeitanymore–andthewonderfulthingaboutthemindisthatit’sactuallyunreal.Itdoesn’thavesubstance,orsolidityofitself.Soyoucanactuallytransformthemindforever.Youmaynotbeabletochangethepaininthephysicalbodybuteventhatcanchangedramaticallyifyouallowittochange.Thebeautyofthispracticeisthatthemindcanbeseenforwhatitis–prettyempty.Onceyoustopmindingyourmindthere’snotmuchtherethatyouneedtoworryabout.Thisdoesn’tmeanitdisappears;youjustdon’tneedtogoalongwithit.Whenyou’renotsoattachedtoangeroraversion,itdoesn’tmeanthataversionorangerdisappear,youjustdon’tgetsweptawaybythem.Ifyouhavepaininsomepartofyourbody,itdoesn’tmeanthepainisgoingtodisappear;youjustdon’tneedtorunawayfromthisaversiontothepain.

Sowhenyoustoprunningawayyoudiscoverthatactuallythemindhastheabilitytobearwiththingsverypeacefully.Thegreatestpainisnotthephysicalpain;itismostlyamentalpain.Iknewsomeonewhowentthroughopenheartsurgery,andshewascompletelyatpeacethroughthewholething;everythingwentverywell.Thenatalatertimeshenoticedhereyesightwasfailing:shecouldbecomeblind.Thefearofnotbeingabletocontrolherlifeinthewayshewasusedtobroughtonpanic,‘OhmyGod!What’sgoingtohappentome?’Openheartsurgeryshecouldhandle,butthefearoflosingherfacultieswassomethingelse.It’sinterestinghowsubjectivelifeis.

So,let’sgobacktodukkha–withouteverforgettingthecontextofbenevolence.Bringtheinsightofdukkhaintotheworldofgoodnessthatyouarepartofaswell.Youmightnotbethehealthiestpersonintheworld,butyoustillhaveenoughgoodhealthtobeabletositonachair,still,andlistentotheteaching.

WhyamIsittinghere,doingthispractice?What’sthepoint?Wemayhavealotofreasons:ourdesiretoalleviatethemiserythatweareconstantlybombardedwith.Thehumanrealm,let’sfaceit;it’saprettydukkha-riddenrealm.Youmaythinkyou’retheonlyone,uniqueinyourparticularpredicament,buteverysinglehumanbeinghastheirdoseofdukkha.Thisisnotanisolatedphenomenon,it’sverymuchthetextureofthisworldinwhichweareborn.Sixdoorstoconnectwith–weseethings,wehearthings,wecantaste,wecantouch,wecanthink,andwecansmell.Itisprettycomplex.Thesmelldoesn’tfitrightwiththehearing;thethinkingandthetastingjustdon’tmatch.Allthosedifferentsensedoorsarenoteveninagreement–‘I’dlovetobeliberated,butIreallylikehavingabitofafunlifeaswell.IwanttodowhatIwant!ButIreallywanttobeliberatedaswell.’Or‘Iwanttobeliberated,butIwanttokeepeverythingIlikebecauseit’simportantforme...me!’

Solet’sberealistic.Welovepractisingmeditation.WelovepractisingtheDhamma.Butifwelookatourselves,howmuchofourselfreallyisinit?It’simportanttorecognizetheillness,ourownmentalillnessinthecontextofDhamma.Thesymptom–rememberingthattheBuddhaislikeaphysician,anddelusionislikethecancerofourlife.Fortunatelyit’snotsuchabadcancerbecauseit’sactuallycurable!Wecancureourselvesfromdelusion.Butifwearereallyrealisticwithourselves,andoftenwearenot,wetendtowantthingswithoutreallynoticingthekindofmaterialthatweareworkingwith,thematerialofourdesires,theconflictingaspectsofourlives.Andweneedtobeverygentleinthat.Wedon’tforceour‘self’tobecomethepersonthatwewanttobe.Butjustpatientlyknowthisandwithasenseofcompassionforthepredicamentwearepartof,patientlyknowthatwecan’tdietoallourworldlydesiressoeasily.

LivingWithoutanImageofOurselves

It’simportanttodealwithone’sselfnotasakindofobjectthatyou’vereadaboutinabook,butasarealperson.Notsomekindofimage.Sotobeablejusttoknowthatmuch:alotof‘myself’isarepresentationinmymind,ratherthan‘justwhatis’.Andatthatmoment,whenyoulookattherepresentation,thenthat’swhatitis,that’showitis.There’snotacertainwayit‘is’.It’sjustwhateverishere‘is’.That’sit.Sothisisanotherdukkha,isn’tit?Inourlife–toliveasarepresentationintheworld,ratherthaninaconnected,confident,andlovingway.Beingwhowearewithouthavingtoholdontoanimage.Withoutanimage,theworldoutthereisaprettyhardplacetolivein.Gotoyourbosswithanemptymind,relaxed,easy-going,beyourmindfulselfwithyourbossandheprobablywon’tknowhowtodealwithyou.Wehavetoplaythepartsothatherealizesthatyourememberhim.

Soweliveinaworldofsubjectivity,ofrepresentation,ofideasandideals,andgetmiserablebecausewelosethatconnectionwiththerealthing:justwhat‘is’.Thisissodifficulttoacceptsometimes,becausetobewiththewayitis,wecan’treallyhangontoalotofafutureagenda.It’snoteasy.ThereisatendencytotryandturnBuddhismintosomekindoflovelyself-improvementpath.Ofcourse,increasingwholesomenesshasitsplaceaswell–weworktobecomeabetterpersonbybeingmorecarefulandattentivewithouractions,withourspeech,withwhatyouthinkandhowyouthinkthosethings,whatyoucultivateinyourheart:patience,lovingattention,acceptance.

Thereisalotofimprovementinallthat,buttheinsightpracticemanifestswhenyouloseallthese

agendas,alltheserepresentations,orseerepresentationsforwhattheyare–justanimageinthemind.Onehastobeverycarefulhowtodealwithwhatgoesoninthemind,becauseitcanbeveryconfusing.Sometimeswedon’tcometothepointofinsightinpracticebecausewearesoscaredofseeingtheimagesorrepresentationsthatjustdon’tfitwithoursystemoflogicorwhatwelike.

It’sprettyrandomwhatgoesoninthemind.Onceyoustopholdingontoanagenda,toanidea,toamanifestation,toarepresentation,it’sprettyrandom–anythinggoes,really.That’sveryfreeing,becausethemoreyouseehowrandomandnotverycontrollablethemindis,themoreyouwillfindthatthereisayearninginthehearttofindatruerefugeinallthis.It’slikeanaturalyearning.Youyearntofindyour‘realhome’,asAjahnChahcalledit.Becausetherestofitisprettyunstable,unsatisfactoryanddukkha.Sodon’tbefrightenedbythedifficultthingsbecauseifyoureallybowtothis,andarehumblywillingtolearnfromwhatyousee,thenyouwillfindhelpcomingyourway.

By‘help’Imeansuddenlyyougetinterestedinthenewpartofyourself,oryougetinterestedinstudyingwhatyouhaveinfrontofyou.There’sanenergythatcomesup,anenergytoreallyexaminewhat’shappeningandmaybedealwithyourfear.Whenfearcomesupyouareabletoexaminefear.Yourealisethatfearcomesandgoes,it’srandom.It’snotnecessarilyattachedtoanythingexterior.It’squiteaturningpointwhenyoucanseethisclearly,becauseit’sveryfreeing.Basicallyyouareincharge.Idon’tmean‘You’areincharge,yourawakenedmindisincharge.

AppliedIntention

Alsoyoucanhelpyourawakenedmind.Thereisintention,cetanā.Youcanthinkconsciously–youdon’thavetojustattachtorandomthoughtsthatleadyounowhere.Youcanthinkconsciously,‘intend’consciously.Youcanusethematerialofyourmindandbodyinaconsciousway.Forexampledeveloploving-kindness–youcanconjureupalotofloving-kindnessoutofnowhere.

Somepeoplehavetroublegettingstartedwithdevelopinglovingkindness.‘HowcanIbekindandlovingwithoutgettingintoallthatmessyemotional“stuff.”Love?Ha!’SoIaskiftheyareapetloverandifso,Isay,‘Justthinkofyourpets.’Andsuddenlythere’sakindofglowingenergyaroundthemthathappensjustlikethat.It’samazing.Formosthumanbeingstheonlytimetheyhavethisiswhentheyfallinlove.Thatfeelingofadorationandtotalacceptance,nomatterhowtheylook,whattheylooklike,howstupidtheyare,howclingingandgraspingandhorrible–they’rejustwonderfulforafewdays.Thatisjustwhatweexperiencewithapet.I’mjustgivingthisexampletoshowhowquicklywecanconjureupsomethingoutofnowhere.

Reflectontheblessingsofyourlife,reflectonthegoodnessofyourlife,sothatyouareabletocreateinyourselfacontextofeaseandrelaxationandspaciousness,toobservelifeasitis–whichisprettyunsatisfactory,let’sfaceit.Butit’sonlyunsatisfactorybecausewe’vehadexpectationsaboutit.Wehaveaddedtolife-as-it-issomuchthatallthesethingshavetodie.Whathastakenbirthneedsitsownspantodie.Soallthethingsthatyouhaveattachedto,allthethingsyouhavecreated,allthethingsyouhavehopedfor,allthingsyouhavewishedfor,allthedisappointments,allthosethingshavetohavetheirlifespanbeseenuntilyouletthemgo.Oftenwedon’thavethepatiencetoletthingsgo,sowearebacktothiskindofrestlessactivitytochange–liketheankle,twistingtotheleft,twistingtotheright,tofindoutwhetherthepainislessontherightormoreontheleft.Andthereliefcomesthensuddenlythepaincomesback.

Soinsteadoftryingtomovearoundwhenyouhavediscomfort–I’mnotsayingyoumustdamage

yourbodyinanyway,andifyouneedtostandup,ifyouneedtomoveyourposturearound,justdoit–butbeforeyoudothisjustcheckhowmuchyourmindiscontributingtotheintensityofanyphysicaldiscomfortthatyouareexperiencing.Justdiscoverhowthemindiscontributingtothat,andhowyourmindfulnesscanhelpyoutogainconfidence,gainingindependencefromwhatyourmindfeelsallthetimeasaresultofsimplereactions.Seethatinyourselfwhenthingsbecomeuncomfortable.It’snotjustthephysicalpain,butalsothementalpain,liketheanguishmaybeaboutlosingsomethingyoulove–losingyourhealth,losingyourpartner,losingyourlife,losingyourwife,losingyourstatus,orwhatever.

OneofthebeautiesoftheBuddha’steachingisthatthethoughtsthemselvesjustbecomeanotherobject.Notsomethingweidentifywithanymore,butanobject.Thisiswhyit’simportanttofindanewrefugeinone’sself.Arefugethat’sbasedmoreontheunderstandingofthepracticeofDhamma,ofunderstandingthroughyourpracticeandyourconfidenceinthegoodnessofyourself,confidenceinyourabilitytomanifestthegood,confidenceinyourabilitytonotmindlosingthings,confidenceintheabilitytobearwithsufferinganddifficulties,withfearandsoon.

Thiscomeslittlebylittleasyoufacefearinsmalldoses–therecomesyourbasicremedies.Yougetalittlebitoffearandyoudealwiththat,andyoucangetalittlebitmorefear,andthenexttimealittlebitmore,andthemoreyougetfamiliarwithfearandyoursystemstartsintegratingitwithoutanyproblemthenthenexttimeit’snotaproblem–itbecomeslessandlessaproblem.Themoreyouareabletoaccept,receive,andbearwithanydukkhainlife,notasanidealbutjustwhereyouarenow.

Thefirstnobletruthofdukkhateachesthatnotgettingwhatyouwantisdukkha,gettingwhatyoudon’twantisdukkha.Prettystraightforward,isn’tit?Don’tneedaPhDtounderstandthat.Butthenthesubtletyistobegintoapplyandtodistillthisunderstandingthroughtheexperienceofyourmindandbodyasyouseeitfrommomenttomoment.Beingseparatedfromlovedonesisdukkha.Somebodywassharingwithmetodayaboutwhenyoubecomemoreawareofyourself,suddenlyyourealizethere’ssomethinginyouthatjustknowsthisselfisnotyou.Scary,isn’tit?WhoamIthen?IfI’mnotthispersonhere,whoamI?

Youcangetthissenseofbeingfrightened.Thissenseofseparation,thegriefofseparation,fromanoldself,anoldpersonality.‘Theoldman’astheysayinChristianteachings.It’sfunny,isn’tit?OftenIheardthisexpression,‘sheddingtheoldman’.Wegothroughthisexperienceofseparation.Eveninternally.Therearesomethoughtswearehabituallycaughtin.Andwecangothroughthegriefoflosingawholetrainofthoughtthatmadeushappyforawhile.Wearerememberingsomebodyandsuddenlytheyjustlosttheirsubstance,youknow?Theirsolidityisgone,andyoufeellikeadifferentperson.Youthinkthatmaybebecauseyou’renotobsessingaboutyourlovedones,suddenlythey’renotlovedanymorebyyou.Youmightjustberelievednottobeconstantlybombardedbyyourobsessivethinking.

Wethinkthatwhenwestopobsessingaboutthings,thosethingsdisappearaswell–buttheydon’t.Ifyou’vecomefromaplaceofwisdomandunderstanding,thenwhathappenstotheotherperson(ortothethings)isthattheyjustshareyourpeaceofmind,peaceofheart.Andthat’smuchmuchmoreempoweringthanyourattachment.Yournon-attachmentismuchmorewonderfulforsomebody,becausewhenyou’renotattached,youarecreative,fearless;you’refuntobewith.

Ifyou’reclinging,grasping,whingingbecauseyou’refrightenedtoletgoofthethingyouthinkyouabsolutelyneed,thenlifeistrulydukkha.Again,onedoesn’tlearnthisasanideal,butjustwhereyou

are,littlebylittle.Likeabigtangledballofwoolthat’sjustcompletelycaughtinsomanythings,completelytiedup,andyoupullthethreadlittlebylittle.Littlebylittle,momentbymoment,youpullthethreadsgently.Thenyourealizehowniceitfeelsnottobecompletelyentangledinthistightknotof‘me’.The‘me’islikethisentangledknot,andthedukkhaisjustthat,thisgraspingmode,holdingmode,that’sthedukkha.That’sthebasicdukkha.Don’tforgetthelovingcontext.Rememberingone’sblessings.

TheWayofBeingContented

FromatalkgivenatChithurstMonastery,in2010

AjahnCandasiriwasborninScotland.In1979shewasoneofthefirstwomentobegiventheanagarikaprecepts.FormostofhermonasticlifeshehasresidedateitherChithurstorAmaravatiMonastery,helpingwithestablishingthecommunitiesthere,particularlytheSiladharaSangha.

“Contentmentisnotsomuchtodowithhowmuchyouhave,it’smoreanattitudeofmind.”

NovemberandDecemberisaveryspecialtimeofyearatChithurst.Obviouslyitiscold,butwhatIfindinterestingisthatwehaveachoiceastowhetherwesufferaboutitornot.InoticesometimesIcanfeelverychillyandmiserable.ButifI’mmindful–ifIpreparemyself–Icanreallyenjoythecrispcoldweather,thefeelingoftheclearair,andthefragranceofwoodsmokefromwood-burningstoves,thiswinterytime.

Thethemeofchoosingtosufferornotfeelstomelikeaveryimportanttopic.Wehavethatchoicethroughoutourlives:tosufferornottosuffer.Manypeopledon’trealizethis,andsothey’lltendtosuffer.Butthoseofuswho’vehadanopportunitytocontemplatetheBuddha’sTeachingswillrealizethatwedohaveachoice.Wecancomplainaboutthingsastheyare:complainaboutthecold,complainaboutthepeoplewelivewith,complainaboutthefood,thedrinks,themonasticroutineandthewaythingsaredone....Wecanalwaysfindsomethingtocomplainabout.Wedon’thavetolookveryfar:itmaybesomephysicalailment–painfulknees,oracold,oraheadache,orsomething.Ormaybewedon’tgetwhatwewant,orwemakeamistakeaboutsomethingandfeelbadaboutitlater–lifeisjustfullofthingstocomplainabout...but,wecanalsochoosenottocomplain.

There’saverseintheDhammapadawheretheBuddhasaysthatcontentmentisthegreatestwealth.Ifindthisanimportantcontemplationbecauseifwereallycultivateanattitudeofcontentment,weactuallyenjoylifemuchmore.Butit’snotaqualitythat’swidelyrecognizedorappreciated.Infactthewholeeconomywouldprobablycollapseifpeoplebecametoocontent.Nobodywouldeverwanttobuyanythingneworimproveonthings;they’dalwaysjustbecontentwithwhattheyhad.Therearesomanypressuresinoursocietytonotbecontent.IremembertheadvertisementsfromwhenIusedtowatchTV;theywerealltryingtomakeyoufeelyouhavetogetsomething‘better ’,moredelicious,the‘latest’model.WhenIgototeachattheBuddhistSocietyinLondonIseeadvertisementsandenormousposterseverywhere–evenonthesidesofbuses–thatmakeyouwant

allkindsofthingsyouneverreallythoughtaboutbefore:moreexoticholidaysorbetterinsurancedeals.AndsuddenlyI’dfindmyselfwonderingifmaybeIshouldinsuremylife,orinsureagainstgettingsick.Soit’sverydifficulttoavoidthefeelingofdiscontent,becausealldaylongyou’rebeingtoldthatthere’sthisthingthat’sgoingtobe‘better ’–andthatyoushouldgetit,otherwiseyoumightmissout.

Daily-LifePracticeofContentment

Thisisjustthewaytheworldis.Certainly,eveninthemonastery,wecannoticethingsthatcanleadtodiscontentment–wantingsomethingthatsomebodyelsehas.Wecanfeelenviousbecausesomebody’salmsbowlisbetterthanoursorshe’sgotabetterjacket,orabetterpairofsandals,orabetterclock.Irememberwheneveryonewasgettingdigitalalarmclocks;Ididn’thaveone,andfeltabitenviousofotherpeople’sdigitalclocks.Itseemedtobethesortofthingtohave.

However,themonastictrainingencouragesustocultivatecontentmentconsciously;samanas,monksandnuns,areencouragedtocultivateasenseofcontentment:withtherobes–wereflectthattheyaresimplysomethingtocoverthebodytokeepuswarm,andformodesty.Wereflectonthebasicstandardofwhatweneed.Similarlywithfood,itistrulyaprivilegeasamonkornuntobeabletogointothetownwithourbowl,andwalkforalms.Inthemonasteryfoodispreparedeachday,soweknowthatwearegoingtogetplentyofhotfoodforourmeal–butit’sdifferentwhenwegoforalmsroundinthelocaltown.Westandthereinthestreetwithouremptybowl,andwait,andseewhathappens.

Ifindthisanexcellentcontentmentpractice.Nomatterwhatwereceive,we’regenuinelyglad–becauseitmeanswe’regoingtoeatthatday.TherehavebeentimeswhenI’vebeenabsolutelydelightedtohavejustaloafofbread,oranapple,orabanana.Aloafofbreadisthebest,really,becausethatwayyouknowyou’renotgoingtobehungry;yourbellyisgoingtobefull.Whereas,inthemonastery,ifwewentintothekitchenandfoundtherewasjustaloafofbreadforthemealthatdaywewouldprobablyfeelverydisappointed.

Soit’sinterestingthatcontentmentisnotsomuchtodowithhowmuchyouhaveorhowwonderfulitis–it’smoreanattitudeofmind.Wecanconsiderthisinrelationtothewholeofourlife;wecannoticewhetherwearesomebodywhoisfrequentlynotcontented.Ifourhabitistonotbecontent,thenitcanbeausefulpracticejusttonoticethis–ratherthansay,‘Ishouldfeelcontented,becausetheBuddhasaysIshould’or‘becauseSisterCandasirisaidinthattalkthatweshouldbecontent....’Thatdoesn’tworksowell,Ifind.

IhavelistenedtotalkswhereI’vebeentoldIshouldbecontentandgrateful.Maybethat’strue,maybeIshouldbecontentandgrateful.However,IfindthatmerelydwellingonhowIshouldbedoesn’tworksowell.WhatseemstoworkbetterisifIstepback,andnoticetheeffectonmymindofbeingdiscontented.Itisactuallynotaverynicestatetobein.Wecannoticehowitistoalwaysbecomplaining,alwaysfindingfaultwiththingsandwithotherpeople.Howdoesthatfeel?Doesitmakeushappytothinklikethat?Ortothinkcriticalthoughtsaboutourselvesasbeingnotgoodenough?Maybewedon’thavetolookveryhardtofindgoodreasonsforbeingself-critical:‘Ihaven’tdoneenough;I’mnothandsomeenough–notthinenough–notfatenough.’TherearealwaysthingsthatseemnotOK,andthenwecanbegintonoticethatdwellingonthosethingsmakesusmiserable.Itseemstomethatthewaytobehappyismuchmoreaboutdeliberatelycountingourblessings,abouttryingtoturnthingsroundtoseetheminapositiveway–cultivatingabasisofcontentmentwith

thingsastheyare.

YearsagowhenIwasinIndia,Inoticedhowincrediblypoormanypeoplewere,butthatoftentheyhadabrightnessandajoyaboutthem.Itseemedthattheyknewhowtoenjoylife.Irememberwatchingalittlekidoneday.Hehadnotoys,buthadfoundabrickandapieceofstring;he’dtiedthepieceofstringroundthebrickandwasdraggingitalong,obviouslyseeingitassomekindoffabuloustoy.Hewasreallypleasedwithit.Wecanseehowbeingabletomakemuchofeventheverysimplethingsoflifeiswhatbringscontentment–ratherthanbeingfabulouslywealthyorhavingthebestofeverything.

I’veknownpeoplewhoarewealthy,yetwhoneverseemtohaveenough.They’dalwaysbewantingsomethingbetter–thingswouldneverbequiteright,They’dgotofancyrestaurants,andalwaysfindthatthefoodwasjustnotquiteright;itwouldbeexquisitefoodandbeautifullyprepared,butstillthere’dbesomethingjustnotquiterightaboutit.Whereaswhenwestartoutwithnothing,wecanexperiencegreatdelightwithjustaloafofbread.Soinsomewayswearemuchwealthierwhenwecanreallybecontentwithwhatwehave.

LimitlessContentment

There’sastoryintheSuttasaboutamonkwhodecidedthathewantedtogoandliveinafarawayplace.WhenheaskedtheBuddhaaboutgoing,theBuddhaaskedhimsomequestionstomakesurethathewasreallyprepared,‘Thepeoplewholivetherearerough,andtheymightjustgiveyouverycoarsefood.Whatwillyouthinkifalltheyofferyouisreallycoarsefood?’Andthemonkreplied,‘Ishalljustcelebratethefactthattheyfeedmeatall.Ishallfeelgladaboutthat.’AndtheBuddhacontinues,‘Supposingtheydon’tfeedyouatall?Supposingtheyinsultyou,orabuseyou?Supposingtheythrowclodsofearthorstonesatyou?Supposingtheybeatyouupwithheavysticks?’And,eventually,‘Supposingtheystabyouwithaknifeandkillyou?’Themonk’sresponsetothis,‘Wellthat’llbeverygoodbecausethenIwon’thavetokillmyself.MylifewillendandI’llbeabletoputdownthisbody–Iwon’thavetoworryaboutfeedingitorlookingafteritanymore.’ThisconvincedtheBuddhathatthemonkhadthequalitiesnecessarytofindcontentmentinanysituation,andheallowedhimtogo.

IrememberbeinghereatChithurstintheveryearlydaysinthefirstwinter.Welivedinacottagedownbythestream(thesmallerone–it’snowtheguesthouse).Therewasnocentralheating,nocarpets,hardlyanyfurnitureandnomainselectricityeitheratthattime.Wedidhaveageneratorbutitwasquitenoisyandwasalwaysbreakingdown,soweusedcandles.Irememberoneeveningduringthatfirstwinter,sittingupstairsintheroomIsharedwithSisterRocana,allwrappedupwithmyglovesontryingtowritealetterbycandlelight.Itwasabsolutelyfreezing.ButIdon’tremembergrumblingorcomplainingaboutit,itwasjustamatteroftryingtogetthisletterwrittenwithmygloveson.Inthosedayswewerejustsoexcitedtobehere;tobeapartofthisincredibleadventureofestablishingthismonastery–andwiththatcameasenseofcontentment.

However,havingsaidthat,Ihavetosaythat,rightnow,IhavenotroublecelebratingthefactthatwehavethiswonderfullywarmDhammaHall!IjustlovewalkingroundinthisDhammaHallwithitsunder-floorheating;it’sjustsogreatthatwecansitherewithoutshivering.AnddownintheRocanaVihara,wherethenunsstaynow,wehaveawood-burningstoveinthekitchen.It’swonderfultohaveawarmplacetogoto.AndsonowIdocelebratethat,thewarmthandthecomfortofourlives.

YetifI’mnotmindfulIcanstillbecomemiserable.EarlierthiseveningIwasinmyroomreadingAjahnSucitto’spilgrimagebook,RudeAwakenings.Iwasgettingtowardstheendofthebook,thereallyexcitingchapterwheretheygetrobbed,andIwassoutterlygrippedbythisstorythatIhadn’tnoticedthatIhadbecomeverycold.ThenIdidfeelrathermiserable.SoIwentdowntothekitchenandwarmedupandhadacupofteabythestove,andfeltverymuchbetter.

WhatI’mpointingtohereistheneedformindfulness.Whenit’scoldlikethisweneedtostaytunedtoourbodies;ifwegettoocoldwe’llgetsick.Sotherearebasicthingswecando.Weneedtomakesurewe’vegotenoughclotheson,andhavewarmdrinksfromtimetotime–thingslikethat–ratherthanthinking,‘Howwretched,howmiserable,it’ssocold,howcanIgetwarm?’Wecanactuallytransformthebusinessoftakingcareofourselvesintoanexerciseofmindfulness.

Ocean-likeCompassion

Sotherearewaysofcultivatingcontentmentaroundthematerialthingsofourlives.Wealsoneedtogiveattentiontocultivatingcontentmentaroundtheimmaterialthingsofourlives:ourrelationships;ourplaceinthegrandschemeofthings;thesenseofourselves,andofwhoandwhatweare;ourmeditationpractice....Iusedtosufferterriblyaboutmymeditationpractice,becauseIwascompletelycertainthatitwasnevergoodenough–andprobablyitneverwasgoodenough,whenIwasbeingsonegativeaboutit.Whathelpedwasrealizingthat,firstofall,thereneedstobeasenseofwell-being–asenseofself-respect–astheveryfoundationofourpractice.Ifwestartoffwithourmeditationpracticefromasenseofbeingunworthy,hopelessandnogood,weeasilylosetrack.It’slikeaviciouscircle.Therecanbeasenseoftension,offrustrationaroundthewholepractice–asensethatit’snogood,andweneedtotryharder.Sowetryharder,andendupfeelingcompletelymiserableanddiscouragedaboutourmeditation.Butit’sreallyimportanttorememberthattheBuddhaofferedtheseTeachingsandwayofpractice,outofcompassionforourwelfare,forourhappiness–nottomakeusfeelmiserableanddiscouraged.

ThereisaphraseinmorningchantingthatIlovetoreferto,whereitsaysthattheBuddhaisfilledwith‘ocean-likecompassion’–remindingusoftheincrediblybroad,compassionateheartthatwantsonlythebestforus...andhereIwas,usingtheseteachings,thiswayofpractice,tocreateasenseofmisery.Well,actually,Iwasn’ttotallymiserable–I’vealwaysfeltgladaboutbeingabletobeanun,andamstillmildlyamazedthatthishasbeenpossible–buttherewasalackofanydeepjoyinmyheart.Eventually,IrealizedthatIhadn’tproperlyunderstoodthatinsomesenseitwasuptometofindcontentmentandselfrespect.Itwasuptometocareforthisbeing,ratherthanalwayslookingforaffirmationandapprovalfromoutside.

Iwasverygoodonthe‘duty’sideofthings–verygoodatserving,alwaysdoingthingsforotherpeopleandforthecommunity.Ienjoyedthis,butIhadn’trealizedthatIneededtofindwaysofreallycaringformyself:cultivatingkindnessformyself,mettatowardsthisbeinghere–directingmettā,karunā,muditā,uppekkhātowardsthisbeing.Forexample,Ihadabsolutelynomuditaforthisbeing–itjustneveroccurredtometothinkaboutthegoodqualities,tothinkaboutthesenseofmyownworthiness–cultivatingasenseofself-respect,andthecapacitytoappreciateeventhelittlesuccessesinmeditation.EvenifIcouldn’tdoallthejhanas,anythinglikethat,justtobeabletoreallyenjoyonebreath,tofeelgoodaboutthefactthatIwaslivingaccordingtoprecepts–livingatleastwiththeintentiontonotcauseharm.ThenIcouldextendthistomakingtheeffortnottocauseharmthroughallthatnegativitytowardsmyself.

Someofusaresoself-critical;wealmostseethatasavirtue.Wethinkthatit’sgoodtofindfaultwithone’sself,almostasthoughweareafraidthatifwedon’t,wemightendupbecomingcomplacent.However,ifwearetoprogressatallinpractice,thereneedstobeabasisofwell-being,asenseofourownworthiness.So,asabasisforpractice,theBuddhaencouragesbhāvanā(mentalcultivation),sīla(virtue)anddāna(generosity).Whenwereflectonourcultivationofthese,wecanseethatwe’vedonesomethingpositive,‘I’vebeenkind–toothers,aswellastomyself.’‘I’vebeencareful,I’vebeenresponsible.’Wecanreflectonthese,asawayofgeneratinghappiness,well-being–insteadofalwaysbeingsoconcernedaboutourshortcomings.

Ispeaktomanypeopleabouttheirmeditation,andoftentheysaysomethinglike,‘Ohyes,Imeditate–butIdon’tdoenough,’or,‘Idon’tdoitwellenough.’I’dliketosuggestthatit’sagoodideatonoteventhinklikethat–andjustdoit!Ifweallowourselvestodwellonsuchthoughts,westartoffonthewrongfoot.It’smuchbetterjusttodoit,andtocelebrateoursmallsuccesses,daringtojustcelebratethxelittlethingsthatwedo,andtoenjoythem.Wecanalsocelebratethefactofhavingbeenbornasahumanbeing,havingcomeacrossthisteaching,havingcomeacrossthismonasteryandthiscommunityofpeoplewhoarecommittedtopracticeinthisway–wehavegoodcompanionsonthePath.

Oncewehavethisbasisofwell-being,thenwecanreflectandlookintowaysthatwemayneedtoadjustthebalanceinourpractice.Butfirstweneedthatsenseofwell-being;firstweneedthatsenseofdignityandself-respect.Itmaybeamatterofdeliberatelyencouragingourselvessoastofindcontentmentwiththisbeinghere.‘Thisbeinghereisperfectlyfine.Thisbeinghereisworthy;thisbeinghereispractisingaccordingtotheteachingsoftheBuddha.’Nobody’saskingustobeperfectrightnow.EventheBuddhahimselfbeganlifeasanunenlightened,sufferinghumanbeing.Evenhismostwonderfuldiscipleshadtheirdifficulties,hadtheirproblems.

Thereisawonderfulstoryfromthevictorypoemofoneoftheenlightenednundisciples.Initshesaysthatfortwenty-fiveyearsshe’dstruggledwithherpracticeandneverhadamoment’speace.Fortwenty-fiveyearsshestruggled!Andeventuallyshehadtheinsightthatenabledhertoarriveattheplaceofunshakeablecalm,theplaceoffreedom.

Allofushaveareasofdifficulty,butasthesenseofwell-beingandjoyincreaseswe’reabletotakemoreofaninterest,tobecuriousaboutthesedifficultiesandtocultivateskilfulmeansforworkingwiththem.Eachoneofuscanbegintofindwaystobemoremindfulandtorespondmoreskilfullytothedifficultiesthatarise.Wecantakeaninterestandlearnfromthemistakeswemake,ratherthanbecomingtotallydiscouragedwhenwegetithorriblywrong.

FindingFearlessness

There’llbetimeswhenallofuswillfeelpushedandstressed.Butthenwecantaketimetoconsider,‘Well,Ididn’tdothatverywell.HowcanIadjustmypractice,anddoitbetternexttime?’Ofcoursemaybewemakethesamemistakeagain,sothenwecanbeginagain,andagain–justkeepcomingback,keepbeginning.Ifwekeeptakinganinterestinwhatishappening,littlebylittlewefindwearemoremindful,morepresent.Thisiswhenwemightalsonoticethatwearelessafraid.Recently,Idiscoveredthatalotofourdifficultiescomebecausewearefrightenedthatsomebody’sgoingtotakesomethingawayfromus.Itcanbeamaterialthing,oritmaybeanidea.Forexamplewecanbeveryattachedtoideasaboutwhatshouldhappen.Thenifsomeonecomesalongandsays,‘Idon’tthinkitshouldhappenlikethat’or,‘you’retotallywrong’,wecanbecomeverydefensive!

Butit’spossibletomeetevensuchareactionwithawillingnesstopatiently,humbly,keepcomingback.Wecankeepcomingbacktothismomentasitis,findingcontentmentwiththisbodyasitis,withthisbreath.Wecanbreatheinasenseofeaseandwell-being,wecanbreatheoutwithasenseofease,relaxing.Overandagainwecanre-establishourselveswithasenseofcontentment,onebreath.Celebratingthat...andthat’sfree.Youdon’thavetopayforthebreath!

Wearefortunateherewecansimplygooutside,andlookupatthestarsinthebrightclearsky.Breathethefreshair.Enjoythehintofthewoodsmokeontheair.

I’dliketoencourageeverybodytolookaroundforthingsthattheycandotobringjoy–outwardlyandinwardly–tolookforwaysthatwecanshiftourattitudetobemoreloving,tobemoregenerouswithourselves,andwitheachother.

SoIofferthisforyourwell-beingandhappiness.

InThailand

TheWorldFaresAccordingtoKamma

AnextractfromatranslatedpublicationinThai.

AjahnGavesakowasborninJapanin1951.HemovedtoThailand,initiallytoBangkokthentoWatPahPongwherehewasordainedasabhikkhubyAjahnChahin1975.Hespentlongperiodslooking

afterAjahnChahinthelateryearsofhisillness.AjahnGavesakoiscurrentlyabbotofSunantavanarāmaBuddhistMonasteryinKanchanburiProvince,Thailand.

“Thedaysandnightsarepassing:howarewespendingourtime?”(TheBuddha)

Inthemorningandeveningchanting,thechantforspreadinggoodwillmettaconcludeswithaconsiderationofkamma.Thismeansthatwhenweunderstandkamma,goodwillwillarise.Todevelopgoodwillitisimportanttounderstandkamma.

Thechantthatincludesthecontemplationofoldage,sicknessanddeath,abhinhapaccavekkhana,concludeswithaconsiderationofkamma.

Therequiredbenefitofexaminingkammaistodevelopheedfulness.Whenwedothemorningchantingwechantaboutkammaontwooccasions,andthentwomoretimesintheevening.That’sfourtimesinaday.Weareencouragedtoexamineitfrequently,repeatedly,untilgoodwillandheedfulness,whichareproperandimportantconditions,arisewithinus.Weareencouragedtoconsiderkammainvariousaspectsaccordingtothefiveconsiderations:kammasakkā,kammadāyādā,kammayonī,kammabandhūandkammapatisaranā.

Kammasakkā

Kammasakkātranslatesas‘Kammaisourpossession’.‘Sakka’means‘belongingtoone’.ThereisaninterestingstoryI’dliketotellyou.IwenttoJapanin1989andwasstayingatatempleinTokyo.Onedayadoctorbroughtalongawomanandaboywhowouldhavebeenaboutthirteenyearsold.Hewasafine-lookingchild,buthecouldn’tspeak.Hisbehaviourwaslikethatofamentallyretardedchild.Hewasextremelyactive,runningalloverthetempleandallovertheroom,pokinghisfingersthroughthepaperscreens.Thischildcouldonlysitstillfortwoorthreeminutes.Ihadneverseensuchacase,butthedoctorinvitedmetotalktotheboy.Hesaiditlookedasifthechildwasn’tlisteningbutinfacthewas.HelikedtogototemplesandlikedBuddhism.Italkedaboutlettinggoof

enmityandangeranddevelopinggoodwillandcompassion.Idon’tknowhowmuchbenefithegotoutofit.

Inmid-Apriloftheyear1989,Ihadgoneonawalkingtour(tudong)fromtheairportatNaritatoHiroshima,adistanceofabout1000kilometres.Ittookmeseventy-twodays.Ididn’tacceptorusemoney,butonlyfoodonmyalmsround.IsleptwhereverIcouldfindplacestosleep,sometimesattemples,sometimesonthesideoftheroad.IfitwaslateatnightImightsleepinashopping-centrecarparkorunderabridge,inallkindsofplaces.WhenIreachedTokyo,aboutaweekoutofNarita,aJapanesetelevisioncompanyaskedpermissiontomakeadocumentaryaboutmyjourney,becausesomepeoplefeltthatitwouldnotbepossibletowalkallthewaytoHiroshima.Thedocumentarywastelevisedandthisboyhadseenit,andthatiswhyhewantedtocomeandseeme.

Hewasabletowriteonthecomputerandthedoctorwasabletofindouthowhefeltandthought.Hediscoveredthatthischildwasresentfulabouthismother.Whenhewasninemonthsold,hismotherbecamepregnantagain.Hismotherandfatherdiscussedthisanddecidedthattheywouldhaveanabortion.Thechildheardthemandwassoupsetthathismotherwasgoingtokillhisyoungersiblingthathedevelopedastronghatredforher.

Thedoctorsurmisedthatthehatredtheboyfeltforhismotherwassostrongithadhadaneffectonhisnervoussystem.Thementalkammahecreatedwasthecauseofhisnotbeingabletotalk.Kammasakkā:ourkammaistrulyourown,anditcanhavedireconsequences.

Ifweconsiderourspeechoveraperiodoftimewewillclearlyseethegoodandbadresults.Whenspeechleadstosuffering,itispossibletoeasilytracebackandfindthecauseofthatsuffering.Thuswecanknowthatthethingswesayhavebothgoodandbadresultsandcancreateallkindsofproblems.Verbalkammareallydoesexist,andithasalotofsignificance.Mentalkamma,verbalkammaandbodilykammadoexistandcarryalotofmeaning.Theyhaveabigeffectonourhappinessandsuffering.Wemustguardandcomposeourthoughts,speechandactions.

Kammadāyādā

Kammadāyādāmeans‘kammaisourfruit-bearer ’.Dāyādaisanheir,theonewhoreceivesthefruitofkamma.Therereallyisakammaresultvipāka.Whenwedogoodandevilactions,whetherbybody,speechormind,wereceivethefruitofthoseactions.

Therewasamiddle-agedwomanwhoregularlycametogiveofferingsataforesttemple.Shedidn’tcometothemonasteryforafewmonths.Andwhenshedidcomebackandbowedinthetemple,Icouldseethatshehadaprostheticarm.AfterthemealamanrelatedtomethatherhusbandworkedinBangkok,andkeptamistressthere.Onemorningshehadabitterargumentwithherhusbandandabusedhismistress,saying‘I’dlovetocutherarmsoff.’Afterherhusbandwentofftowork,shegotintohercartodosomebusinesswiththreefriendsbuthadanaccident,thecaroverturningandlandingonherleftarm,amputatingit.Apartfromthat,notmuchdamagewasdone,andnooneelsewasinjured.Thiseventcausedherandmanyofherfriendstobelieveintheresultsofkamma.

Thatladywasprobablyfullofhatredforherhusband’smistressandwasconstantlythinking‘I’dliketocutherarmsoff,’sinceifshehadnoarmsshewouldnolongerbeattractivetoanyone.Theresultwasthatthethinkerofthosethoughtsreceivedtheresultherself.Thisisprobablyaresultofbothmentalandverbalkamma.

InthetimeoftheBuddha,therewasamonkwhoaskedtheBuddhawhattodoaboutapersonwhogetsveryangry,whoreadilyabusesandcriticizesanythingthatdoesn’tagreewiththem.TheBuddhataughtthatangerislikefoodyouhavemadeforsomeone:iftheydon’teatityouhavetoeatityourself.Youmakeityourselfandyoueatityourself.Ifyoudon’tlikeit,justdon’ttakeanyinterestinit,justbeindifferent.Clappingonlyonehandmakesnosound.Iftheyareangryandabuseus,andwesuffer,thenthat’slikewe’reeatingthefoodtheyhavepreparedforus:theresultissufferingonbothsides.Ifweeattheirfood,thenwehavetomakesomethingforthemtoeattoo:thatis,sincetheywereangryatus,wehavetobeangryatthemandabusetheminreturn.Itjustgoesroundandroundlikethisformanylifetimeswithoutend.Thisisthelifeofanimalsandhumans.

Wecreatethecause,andwereceivetheresult,whichissuffering,inthiswayandtheresultmaybetwice,threetimesorevententimesgreaterthanthecause.Ifweconsidercarefullywewillseethatabusingordoingsomethingtosomeonetothevalueof1doesnotnecessarilygivearesulttothevalueof1.Itdependsontheconditions.Theresultmaybetwo,threeortentimesgreater.Onepapayaseed,plantedandwellcaredforwithsupportiveconditions,caninthefollowingyearyieldhundredsoffruits.Intwoorthreeyearsitgraduallygetsdepleted,andintheenddies.

ThereforetheBuddhataughttofirstgiveupevilactions,tohaveshameandafearofwrong-doing,todevelopmindfulnessandwisdom,andtobeinspiredinthegivingupofevil,togeneratefaithinthedoingofgoodactions.Goodresultsandbadresultsofkammareallydoexist.Goodactionstrulyleadtogoodresultsandbadactionstobadresults.

Kammayonī

Weareinstructedtoreflectonkammayonī,meaning‘Wehavekammaasourbirthplace.’Yonimeans‘tolead,toleadtobirth,placeofbirth’.Badactionsarebornatoneselfandhaveoneselfastheplaceofbirth.

AnexampleofthisisMahakālathelayman.Mahakālawasastreamenterersotapānna1.HekepttheEightPrecepts2eighttimesamonthandlistenedtoteachingsthroughoutthenightatthetemple.Onedaysomebanditsenteredavillageclosetothetempleandraideditatmidnight.Whenthehouseownerswokeup,thebanditsfled,scatteringinalldirections.OneofthebanditsranintothetempleandthrewsomeofthestolengoodsdowninfrontofMahakāla,whowaslisteningtoaDhammatalk.WhenthehouseownersfollowedthebanditintothetempletheyfoundthestolengoodslyinginfrontofMahakāla,sotheycaughthimandabusedhimsoundly,saying‘YoustealourthingsandthenpretendtositandlistentoaDhammatalk.’Thentheybeathimtodeaththenandthere.TheyoungmonksandnovicesfoundMahakālalyingdeadthere,andhowcoulditbethatMahakāla,listeningtoaDhammateachinginthetemple,shoulddieinsuchaway,sinceeveryoneknewthatMahakālawasagoodperson,astreamentererwhohadnevercommittedanybadkamma.TheyaskedtheBuddhaaboutthis,andhesaid,‘Truly,forMahakālatodieinthiswayisnotfittingforhiminthislife,butitisafittingdeathforthekammahehadcommittedinthepast.’AndtheBuddhatoldthefollowingstoryaboutMahakāla’spreviouskamma.

InthepasttherewasagroupofbanditswholivedinaforestwithinthedomainofthekingofVaranasi.Thekingappointedanofficialtotakepeoplefromoneendoftheforesttotheother,toprotectthemfromthebandits.Onedayamancamewithhisbeautifulwifeonasmallcart.Theroyalofficialwasinfatuatedwiththewomanandinsistedthatitwastoolatetogothroughtheforest,they

couldspendthenightwiththeofficial’smenandhewouldtakethemthefollowingday.Intheofficer ’shousetherewasapreciousjewel.Theofficialtookthejewelandhiditinthecartofthemanandhiswifethen,justbeforedawn,theofficerorderedhismentosearchforthejewel.Itwasfoundwherehehadhiddenit,inthesmallcartbelongingtothemanandhiswife.‘Youhavestolenmyjewel!’hecried,andabusedthemanandbeathimtodeath.TheBuddhadidnotsaywhathappenedtothebeautifulwoman,butdidexplainthattheofficialwasnoneotherthanMahakāla.

Kammayonī:thebadkammayouhavemadeariseswithinyourself,hastheselfasbirthplaceandoppressesthosewhoareoflittlewisdom.

Badactionsdonebyoneselfarisewithinoneself,theyareproducedwithinoneself,andarecalledkammayonī.

Itisourownkammathatleadsustobeborninourmother ’swomb;ourparentsdonotproduceus.Ourmindhastravelledthroughoutsamsara,throughlargeandsmallbirths,fromthedistantpast,butthereisaconnectionfromthepastbetweenourmindsandthoseofourparents.Thatiswhywehavebeenbornintothisworldthroughourparents.Wemaynotbehappywithourconditions–parentsarguing,nowarmth;abadenvironment;beingpoor–butwedonothavearighttocriticizeourparents.Itisourownkammathathasledustobecometheirchildreninthislife.Wemusttaketheresponsibilityourselves.

Inourliveswemustdealwithsocietythroughourparentsorelders.Wehavetogotoschooloruniversity,andeveninthesubjectswestudy,theworkwedoandthepersonwemarryitseemsasthoughweareforcedtodothisbyaguideorleader.Ifwearedisappointedinourlives,wecan’thelpthinkingthatwehavetoendurethesestatesbecauseourparentsorthisorthatpersonforcedustodoitandwedevelophatred;wewanttogetbackatthem,butinfactitisourkammathathasledushere.Wemustconsiderproperly,thinkcorrectly,andnotthinkinaharmfulway,wantingtogetbackatothers.Wemustacceptresponsibilityfortheresultsofourkammaourselves,andnotblameothers.

Whyissocietythesedayssoconfusing?Whyareourlivesconfused?Eventhemonks’mindsareconfused!Itisbecausewedonotclearlyseethatgoodactionsleadtogoodresultsandbadactionsleadtobadresults.Insteadweask,‘Wheredogoodactionsleadtogoodresults?Everywhereweseegoodactionsleadingtobadresults.Wheredobadactionsleadtobadresults?Everywhereweseebadactionsleadingtogoodresults.’

TheBuddhasaidthataslongasbadactionspāpahavenotyetgivenfruit,badpeopleseetheiractionsasgood,butassoonastheactionsproduceresults,that’swhentheywillseethepoisonoftheiractions.Aslongasgoodactionshavenotyetproducedresults,goodpeopledonotyetseethebenefitofgoodactions,butassoonasthegoodnessproducesresults,thentheyseetheresultsofgoodactions.

Soletusexaminekammayonī,untilourmindsareunshakenbyevents.Allthingsinthisworldareperfectincauseandresult;goodactionsleadtogoodresults,badactionsleadtobadresults–thatisafixedlaw.Acceptthetruthwithamindthatisbraveandfirm.Mayweallestablishourselvesingoodnessandwhatisproperatalltimes.

Kammabandhū

Kammabandhūmeans‘wehavekammaasourretinue.’Bandhumeans‘associates’,‘siblings’.Itisourkamma,ouractions,thatbindsourminds.

TheBuddhasaidthatthebeingsthatweseewithoureyes,suchasants,frogs,cats,dogs,cattleandpeople,haveallbeenourparentsorfamilyattheveryleastforonelifetimewithintheendlessroundofsamsāra.Wehavelovedandhatedeachotheruntilthepresentlifetime,andwilldosoonwardintothefutureformanylifetimes,aslongaswehavenotyetattainedthePathandFruitofNibbāna.

Sincethisisthecase,weshouldnotbeheedless.Weshouldmakeourmindspeacefulandlookwithin,examiningourselvestoseewhetherthereissomeonethatwehate.Ifthereis,weshouldquicklyforgivethemrightnow,atleastbeforewedie.Weshouldnotcontinuetobekamma-adversaries.Donotthinkthatwecanjustmindourownbusinessandhavenothingtodowitheachother;evenifweliveindifferentprovinces,ordifferentcountries,thereisachancethatwewillmeetinafuturelife,andaverygreatchance,aslongasthereisclingingandattachment,upādāya.Lookatyourownminduntilyouseeitclearly.Whoareyouthinkingabout?Whoareyouresentfulof?Withwhomdoyouwanttogetyourrevenge?Thatiswhatyoushouldbewaryof.Inthefuturetheywillberebornasyourcloserelatives!Andthentherewillbetroubleforendlesslifetimes.

Therefore,donotharbourhatefulthoughts.Cultivateforgiveness,donotharbourthoughtsofvengeanceorharmingothers.Thinkonlygoodthoughtsofeachother.Trytodoonlygoodactions,suchasactsofgenerosity,givingandgivingagain;havingkindlyspeech,speechthatispleasanttotheearandworthlisteningto;dowhatisuseful,helpsociety;conductyourselfappropriately,beingfairandsincere.

Treatingeachotherlikethis,wewillbehappyinthepresentmomentandalsocreategoodrelationsforthefuture.Ifwemeetinfuturelives,itwillbeasfamilymembersandfriendswhohelpandsupporteachother.

Kammapatisaranā

Wearetaughttoexaminekammapatisaranā,whichmeans‘kammaisourshelter ’.

BuddhamsaranamgacchāmiDhammamsaranamgacchāmiSanghamsaranamgacchāmi

‘Buddha,DhammaandSanghaaremyrefuges’.Wealsohaveourkamma,ouractions,asourshelter.Thewayweareinthepresentdependsonpastthings,bothphysicalrūpadhammaandmentalnāmadhamma,fromthebody,ourpossessions,ourenvironment,ourcountryandthepeoplewemeettothementalstates,thevirtuesandqualitiesofourminds,knownasourperfections,pāramī.

Badkammaislikeadebt;goodkammaislikewealththatcanbeusedinthefuturetowardagainstdifficulty.Therearesaidtobesevenkindsofgoodness.Simplyput,theyarethesevennobletreasures:

Saddhā:believinginwhatisworthyofbelief;believinginkamma,theresultsofkamma,thatgoodactionsbringgoodresultsandbadactionsbringbadresults.

Sīla:ensuringone’sactionsandspeecharegood;

Hiri:shameofwrongdoing;

Ottappa:fearofevilactions;

Bāhusacca:havingheardmuchteachingandcommittedittomemory;havingmuchlearning

Cāga:givingandsharingwiththoseworthyofit

Paññā:fullyunderstandingwhatisofbenefitandwhatisnot

Thesesevennobletreasuresarebetterthanexternaltreasuressuchasmoney.Noonecanstealthemandtheyaretreasuresyoucanrelyon,notonlyinthislifebutformanylivestocome.Thesesevennobletreasurescanbesummarizedasthreethings:generositydānamoralitysilaandmentalcultivationbhāvanā.

Generosity,Morality,andMentalCultivation

Everythingfaresaccordingtocausesandconditionsandhasacausalrelationship.Whateverresultwedesire,weshouldcreatetheconditionsforthat.Humanbeingshavemanyaspirations,buttheycanbesummarizedintothesethreecategories:Iftherereallyisafuturelife,howwouldyouliketobereborn?Everyonewithoutexceptionwantstobebornintoawealthystatus.Noonewantstobebornintopoverty;everyonewantseconomicstabilityandtohavealllife’sconveniences.Generosity(dāna)isthecauseandconditionforhavingasolideconomicposition.

Everyonewithoutexceptionwantstobebornwithagoodphysique;noonewantstobeborndeformed,sickly,ugly.Everyonewantstohavethefullthirty-twopartsofthebody,tobehealthyandstrong,long-lived,andofgoodappearance.Keepingthemoralpreceptsisacauseforbeingbornwithahealthybody.

Everyonewithoutexceptionwantstobebornasanintelligentperson;noonewantstobestupid.Allpeoplewanttobecleverandlearned.Mentalcultivationisthecauseandconditionforbeingbornasanintelligentperson.

Dāna,sīlaandbhāvanāarecausesandconditionsforhavingwealth,agoodappearanceandintelligence.Lookatyourlifehere:fortyyearsfromtodayhowoldwillyoube?Mostofyouwillbeeightytoninetyyearsold.Fromthismomenton,ifyouarenotstingyandsharethingswiththoseworthyofyourgenerosity,suchasyourparents,yourspouse,yourchildrenandbrothersandsisters,helpingeachotherinaccordancewithyourposition,youwon’thavetobeafraidofstarvingwhenyougetold.Eventhoughyoumightnotbeabletowalk,andhavedifficultygoingtothetoilet,andmaynotbeabletodothingsforyourself,noonewillabandonyou.Yourchildrenandgrandchildrenwilllookafteryouwell.Thisisabenefitofgenerosityorgiving.Itmeansyoureconomicpositionisgood.

Fromthismomentonifyouarenotcomplainingandangryandmaintainyourbodyandspeechproperly,whenyougetold,eventhoughyouwon’thavethebeautyofayoungperson,youcangrowoldgracefully.Sometimesyouseeoldpeoplewhohaveapleasantappearance,goodcomplexionand

goodtemperament.Thereareoldpeoplewhoarepleasanttolookat,andtheyarethosewhohave‘goodphysique’.Thisisabenefitofmorality.

Fromthismomenton,ifyoucultivateandpractisemeditation,knowingwhatisrightandwhatiswrong,whatisofbenefitandwhatisnot,knowingyourselfandknowingothers,andknowinghowtosolveproblems,theolderyougetthemorebenefityouareabletocreateforyourchildrenandgrandchildren,becauseyouhavebrightwisdom.Theteachers,thosewhopractisewellandarevirtuous,areagoodexample:theoldertheyarethemorefaithinthemthepeoplehave.Itisthesameforhouseholders:iftheyhavewisdomandknowtheDhamma,eveniftheylivetoahundredyears,theydonotbecomeaburdentotheirchildrenandgrandchildrenbutinsteadbecomearefugeforthem.Thisisabenefitofbhāvanāknownasintelligence.

Thepracticeofgenerosity,moralityandmentalcultivationhasthesekindsofbenefits.Ifyoupractiseitnow,itgeneratesbenefitfromthisdayonwardsfortherestofyourlife,andalsointhenextlife.Itistrulykammapatisaranā.Takegenerosity,moralityandmentalcultivationasyourrefuge.Practisegenerosity,morality,mentalcultivationandallkindsofgoodnessasifyourlifedependedonit.

Whenwelivewithothersitisnormalthattherewillbemattersthataredisagreeabletous.Nomatterhowmuchwelovethem,problemscanarisesimplythroughlivingclosetogetherwithothers.Themorelovethereis,themoreproblemsarise.Tosolveproblemsinourlives,weshouldalwayssolvethemwithinourselvesfirst.Ourrelationshipwithotherswillthengraduallyimprove.Giveupyourownbadactionsandmakegoodactionswithinyourself.Youmayfeelthatothersarewrongornotgood,butyoushouldleavetheirbadnessaloneforthemoment:usetheprinciple,orskilfulmeans,ofawakeningyourownmindfulness.

WhenIwasinJapan,awomancametoseemeonedaytohaveachat.Shewasdepressedoveroneofherdaughters.Thisdaughterwasalwaysfindingfaultwithhermother,sayingforexamplethatshedidn’teatproperly,thatshewalkedtooloudly,thatsheclosedthedoorstooloudlyorputthingsdowncarelessly.Shekepttrackofallthetinylittlethingstocomplainabout.Themotherwassodisturbedbyitthatshedidn’tfeellikeenteringthehouseatall.Shewashurttohavesuchanungratefuldaughter.Sheshouldn’tbecomplaininglikethis.Isatandlistenedtoherstoryuntilshehadfinished.

Ihadmetherforthefirsttimethatday.ShehadseenthetelevisionprogrammeaboutmewalkinginJapanandhadbeeninspiredbyit.Judgingfromhermannerisms,shewasaveryproperperson,verytidyandperhapsonewhotendedtowardsacriticalnaturedosacarita.Iaskedher‘Whenyourdaughterwasverysmall,youwerealwaysnaggingher,right?’Sheadmittedthatthiswastrue.Iguessedthat,beitthroughherowngoodwishesforherdaughterorbecauseofirritation,themotherhadnaggedherdaughtertoomuch,withnoconsiderationforthenatureofchildren.Whateverthedaughterdidthemothercomplainedaboutit.‘Don’tdoitlikethis,don’tdoitlikethat.’Whateverthedaughterdidwaswrong.Thedaughterhadbeenfeelingrepressedforalongtime,soonceshebecameanadultshewasangryathermother.‘Mother,whydoyoudothis,whydoyoudothat?’Thedaughter ’swordswerenoneotherthanthewordsthemotherhadusedtoberateher.Shehadmadethecauseherselfanditcamebacktoherfromherdaughter,whowasthecondition.

Ifthemotherunderstoodthis,shewouldhadhavetomakeuphermindtopractiseandtrynottohaveabadreactionwhensheheardherdaughter ’swords.Shewouldmakehermindfirmandunshakeable,maintainhermindinastateofnormalcyandcalmthathasmorality.Sheshouldnotdisplaydispleasurethroughherfacialexpressions,herspeechorherphysicalmannerisms,butcontrolher

feelings,heractionsandherspeechasifnothinghadoccurred,andtherewasnothingunusual.Inshort,sheshouldmakeherselfliketheonehandclapping,whichmakesnosound.Don’tbelikethetemplebell:wheneveritstrikes,westrikebackatiteverytime,andsaythesoundisannoying.Let’sstopfirst,andthenthesoundwillgraduallygetsofteruntiliteventuallystops.Whenweunderstandproperly,wewillfeelgoodwill,mettāandcompassion,karunā.

Apartfromthiswemusttraintokeepourmindsinanormalstate,andmaintainourspeechandactionsinastateofnormalcyandpropriety.Generositywillbeaforceforsupportingtherapidsolutionofproblems.

Givewithkindlyeyes.

Givewithasmilingface.

Givewithkindwords.

Givethegiftofforgiveness:forgiveeachother.

Giveevensmallthings;thingsthatpeoplelike,suchassweetsorfruit.Therecipientswillchangetheirfeelingimmediately.Theywillfeelgladdenedandhappy,ortheywillfeellove.Thisisnotaheavyproblem.IfweunderstandcauseandeffectandpractiseproperlyaccordingtotheprinciplesofDhamma,theproblemswillgraduallydecrease.

Summary

Weshouldexaminetheprincipleofkammainvariousways.

Kammaisourown.

Kammaiswhatgivesfruit.

Kammaisourbirthplace.

Kammaisourretinue.

Kammaisourshelter.

Inshort,whateverkammawedo,whethergoodorevil,ofthatwewillreceivethefruits.Goodactionsbringgoodresults,badactionsbringbadresults:thisistrulyafixedlaw.

1Asotapānnaorstreamentererissomeonewhohasexperiencedtranscendentalinsightandhasenteredontothepathofenlightenment.

2TheEightPreceptsareanextensiononthenormalFivePreceptsobservedbypractisingBuddhistseverywhere.TheFivePreceptsaretorefrainfromkilling,stealing,sexualmisconduct,lyingandtakingintoxicants.Intheeightprecepts,theThirdPreceptbecomessexualabstinence,andafurtherthreeareadded:refrainingfromeatingaftermidday,frommusic,entertainments,perfumesandbeautification,andfromluxurioussleepingandsittingplaces.

WalkingMeditationintheThaiForestTradition

Adaptedfromapublication

AjahnÑānadhammowasbornin1955inAustralia.HereceivednoviceordinationfromSomdetPhraÑānasamvarain1979,receivedfullordinationwithAjahnChahin1980,andwenttoBodhinyana

MonasteryinWesternAustraliain1994.In2002AjahnÑānadhammomovedtoWatNanachatandwasabbottherefor6years.HethentookupresidenceatWatRatanawanwhereheistoday.

“Walkingmeditationisawayofsimplifyingwhatweredoingwhenwearedoingit.”

PreparationforWalkingMeditation

TheplacewheretheLordBuddhadidwalkingmeditationatBodhgayaafterhisEnlightenmentstillexiststothisday.Hiswalkingpathwasseventeenstepslong.ThesedaystheForestMonkstendtomaketheirwalkingmeditationpathsmuchlonger.Theycanbeuptothirtystepslong.Thebeginnermayfindthirtypacesabittoolongbecausemindfulnessisnotyetdeveloped.Bythetimeyougettotheendofthepath,themindmayhavebeen‘aroundtheworldandback’.Remember,walkingisastimulatingposture,andinitiallythemindtendstowanderalot.Itisusuallybettertostartoffonashorterpath;fifteenpaceswouldbeagoodlength.

Ifyouaregoingtowalkmeditationoutside,findasecludedplacethatisslightlyenclosed.Itcanbedistractingtowalkinanopenareawherethereisaview,asyoumayfindthatthemindisdrawnouttothescenery.Anenclosedareaisespeciallysuitableforspeculativepersonalitieswholiketothinkalot;ithelpstocalmthemind(Vsm,III,103).Ifthepathisclosedin,ittendstobringthemindinwards,intoone’sselfandtowardspeace.

Onceyouhavechosenasuitablepath,standatoneend.Standerect.Puttherighthandovertheleftinfrontofyou.Don’twalkwithyourhandsbehindyourback.IrememberaMeditationMasterwhovisitedthemonastery,commentingwhenhesawoneoftheguestswalkingupanddownwithhishandsbehindhisback:‘He’snotwalkingmeditation;he’sgoingforastroll’.Hemadethatremarkbecausetherewasnotenoughcleardeterminationtofocusthemindonwalkingmeditation,byplacingthehandsinfront–todifferentiatethatfromjustwalking.

Thepracticefirstlyistodevelopsamādhi,andthattakesfocussedeffort.ThePaliwordsamādhimeansfocussingthemind,developingthemindtoone-pointednessbygradualdegreesofmindfulnessandconcentration.Tofocusthemind,onehastobediligentanddetermined.Thisfirstlyrequiresadegreeofphysicalaswellasmentalcomposure.Onebeginscomposingoneselfbyclaspingthehandsinfront.Composingthebodyhelpstocomposethemind.Havingthuscomposedthebody,oneshouldthenstandstillandbringawarenessandattentiontothebody.Thenraiseone’shandstogetherinañjali,agestureofrespect,andwithone’seyesshutreflectforafewminutesonthequalitiesoftheBuddha,theDhammaandtheSangha(Buddhānussati,DhammānussatiandSanghānussati).

OnthewalkingmeditationpathyoucancontemplatehavingtakenrefugeintheBuddha–HewhoKnowsandSees,theWiseOne,theAwakenedOne,theFullyEnlightenedOne.ReflectinyourheartonthequalitiesoftheBuddhaforafewminutes.ThenrecalltheDhamma–theTruththatyouarestrivingtorealizeandcultivate.Finally,bringtomindtheSangha–especiallythosefullyEnlightenedoneswhohaverealizedthetruthbycultivatingmeditation.Thenbringthehandsdowninfrontofyouandmakeamentaldeterminationonhowlongyouaregoingtowalkmeditation,beithalfanhour,onehour,ormore.Howeverlongyoudeterminetowalk,sticktoit;youarenurturingthemind,atthisinitialstageofthemeditation,withzest,inspirationandconfidence.

It’simportanttoremembertokeeptheeyescastdownaboutametreandahalfinfront.Don’tbelookingarounddistractedbythisorthat.Keepawarenessonthefeelingatthesolesofthefeet,andinthisway,youdevelopmorerefinedattention,andclearknowingofwalking–whilewalking.

BasicsofWalkingMeditationandChoosinganObject

TheBuddhataughtfortydifferentmeditationobjects(Vsm,III,104)manyofwhichcanbeusedonthewalkingpath.Howeversomearemoresuitablethanothers.I’lldiscussanumberofthesemeditationobjectshere,beginningwiththosemostcommonlyused.

AwarenessoftheWalkingPosture

Inthismethod,whilewalking,placeallyourattentiononthesolesofthefeet,onthesensationsandfeelingsastheyariseandpassaway.Thisisassumingthatyouarewalkingbarefooted,asmostmonksdo.Althoughlightsoledshoescanbewornifnecessary.Asyoubeginwalking,thefeelingwillchange.Asthefootisliftedandcomesdownagainintocontactwiththepath,anewfeelingarises.Beawareofthatsensation,asitisfeltthroughthesoleofthefoot.Again,asthefootlifts,mentallynotethenewfeelingasitarises.Whenyoulifteachfootandplaceitdown,knowthesensationsfelt.Ateachnewstep,certainnewfeelingsareexperiencedandoldfeelingscease.Theseshouldbeknownwithmindfulness.Witheachstepanewfeelingisexperienced–feelingarising,feelingpassingaway;feelingarising,feelingpassingaway.Withthismethod,weplacemindfulnessonthefeelingofwalkingitself,oneachsteptaken,onthevedanā(pleasant,unpleasantorneutralsensations).Weareawareofwhatevertypeofvedanāarisesatthesolesofthefeet.Whenwestand,thereisasensationofthecontactwiththeground.Thiscontactcanproducepain,heatorothersensations.Weplaceourmindfulattentiononthosefeelings,knowingthemfully.Whenraisingthefoottotakeastep,thefeelingchangesassoonasthefootlosescontactwiththeground.Whenweplacethatfootdown,againanewfeelingarisesasthefootcomesintocontactwiththeground.Aswewalk,feelingsareconstantlychangingandarisinganew.Wemindfullynotethisarisingandpassingawayoffeelingasthesolesofthefeetliftoffortouchontotheground.Inthiswaywearekeeping

ourfullattentionjustonthesensationsthatarisethroughwalking.

Haveyoueverreallynoticedthefeelingsinthefeetasyouwalk?Theyhappeneverytimewewalk,butwetendnottonoticethesesubtlethingsinlife.Whenwewalk,ourmindstendtobesomewhereelse.Walkingmeditationisawayofsimplifyingwhatwe’redoingwhenwe’redoingit.We’rebringingthemindtothe‘hereandnow,’beingonewithwalkingwhenwalking.Wearesimplifyingeverything,quietingthemindbyjustknowingfeelingasit’sarisingandpassingaway.

Howfastshouldyouwalk?AjahnChahrecommendedwalkingnaturally,nottooslowortoofast.Ifyouwalkfast,youmightfinditdifficulttoconcentrateonthearisingandpassingawaysensationoffeeling.Youmayneedtoslowdownabit.Ontheotherhandsomepeoplemayneedactuallytowalkfaster.Itdependsontheperson.Youhavetofindyourownpace,whateverworksforyou.Youcanbeginwalkingslowlyatfirstthengraduallycometoyournormalpace.Ifyourmindfulnessisweak(meaningyourmindwandersalot),thenwalkveryslowlyuntilyoucanstayinthepresentmomentwitheachstep.Startbyestablishingmindfulnessatthebeginningofthepath.Whenyouarriveinthemiddleofthepath,thenmentallyaskyourself,‘Whereismymind?Isitonthefeelingatthesolesofthefeet?DoIknowthatfeeling,thecontacthereandnow,atthispresentmoment?’Ifthemindhaswanderedoff,thenbringitbacktothesensationsatthefeetagainandcontinuewalking.

Whenyougettotheendofthepath,turnslowlyaroundandreestablishyourmindfulness.Whereisthemind?Doesitknowthefeelingatthesolesofthefeet?Orhasitwanderedoff?Themindtendstowanderelsewherechasingdifferentthoughts:anxiety,fear,happiness,sorrow,worries,doubts,pleasures,frustrationandotherthoughtsthatcanarise.Ifmindfulnessofthemeditationobjectisnotpresent,re-establishitonthesimpleactofwalking,andthenbegintowalkbacktotheotherendofthepath.Whenyougettothemiddleofthepath,youshouldnote,‘Iamnowatthemiddleofthepath,’andcheckagaintoseeifthemindiswiththeobject.Then,onceyouarriveattheendofthepathmentallynote,‘Whereisthemind?’Inthisway,youwalkbackandforthmindfullyawareofthefeelingsarisingandpassingaway.Whilewalking,re-establishyourmindfulnessconstantly–pullingthemindback,drawingthemindinward,becomingaware,knowingthefeelingateachmomentasitisarisingandpassingaway.

Aswesustainmindfulnessonthesensationsandfeelingsatthesolesofthefeet,wewillnoticethatthemindgetslessdistracted.Themindislessinclinedtogoouttothingsthatarehappeningaroundus.Webecomecalmer.Themindwillbecometranquilasitsettlesdown,thewalkingposturebecomestoocoarseanactivityforthisqualityofmindandyouwilljustwanttobestill.Sostopandstandtoallowthemindtoexperiencethiscalmandtranquillity.Thisisknownaspassaddhi,itisoneofthefactorsofEnlightenment.Themindmaybeveryrefinedandit’sactuallyimpossibletocontinuewalkingmeditation.Walkinginvolvesthementalvolitiontomove.Yourmindmaybetoofocusedonthemeditationobjectforthat,sostoponthewalkingmeditationpathandcontinuethepracticeinastandingposition.Meditationisabouttheworkofthemind,notaboutanyparticularposture.Thephysicalpostureisjustaconvenientmeanstoenhancetheworkofthemind.

Concentrationandtranquillityworktogetherwithmindfulness.Combinedwiththefactorsofenergy,investigationofDhamma,joy,andequanimity,thesearethe‘SevenFactorsofEnlightenment’.Wheninmeditationthemindistranquilthen,becauseofthattranquillity,asenseofjoy,rapture,andblisswillarise.TheBuddhasaidthattheblissofpeaceisthehighesthappiness(MN,1,454),andaconcentratedmindexperiencesthatpeace.Thispeacecanbeexperiencedinourlives.

Havingdevelopedthepracticeofwalkingmeditationinaformalcontext,wecanusethewalkingactivityasmeditationwhenwearewalkingaroundinourdailylives:goingtotheshops,walkingfromoneroomtotheotherorevenwalkingtothebathroom.Wecanbeawareofjustwalking,simplybeingwiththatprocess.Ourmindscanbestillandpeaceful.Thisisawayofdevelopingconcentrationandtranquillityinourdailylives.

FromSittingMeditationtotheWalkingPath

Ifyouaredoingsittingmeditationandthemindbecomestranquilwithacertainmeditationobjectthenusethatsameobjectinwalkingmeditation.However,withmoresubtlemeditationobjects,suchasthebreath,themindmusthaveattainedacertaindegreeofstabilityinthatcalmnessfirst.Ifyoubeginwalkingmeditationfocusingattentiononthebreathandthemindisnotyetcalm,itwillbedifficult.Thebreathisaverysubtleobject.Usuallyitisbettertobeginwithacoarserobjectofmeditation,suchasthesensationsoffeelingsarisingatthefeet.

Therearemanymeditationobjectsthatyoucantransferwellfromthesittingposturetothewalkingposture,forexample,theFourDivineAbidings:LovingKindness,Compassion,AppreciativeJoyandEquanimity.Asyoupacebackandforth,developexpansivethoughtsbasedonlovingkindness,‘Mayallbeingsbehappy,mayallbeingsbeatpeace,mayallbeingsbefreefromallsuffering.’Youcanusethewalkingpostureasacomplementtothesittingposture,developmeditationonthesameobjectbutinadifferentposture.

ChoosingaMantra

Ifyouarewalkingmeditationandfindyou’regettingdrowsy,activatethemindratherthancalmit.MakeitmorefocusedandawakewiththeuseofamantralikeBuddho,repeatingthewordquietlytoyourselfoverandoveragain.Ifthemindisstillwandering,repeattheBuddhomorequickly,andincreasethespeedofyourwalkingupanddownthepath.Asyouwalk,reciteBuddho,Buddho,Buddho.Inthisway,yourmindwillsoonbecomefocussed.

TanAjahnMun,thefamousforestmeditationteacher,wasinthehilltriberegioninNorthThailandandthelocalpeopledidn’tknowanythingaboutmeditationormeditationmonkshowevertheyareveryinquisitive.Theysawhimwalkingupanddownonhispathandfollowedhiminaline.Whenhegottotheendofthepathandturnedaround,thewholevillagewasstandingthere!Theyhadassumedhewaswalkingbackandforthwithhiseyescastdownsearchingforsomething.‘WhatareyoulookingforVenerableSir?’theyenquired.‘Canwehelpyoutofindit?’Heskilfullyreplied,‘I’mlookingforBuddho,theBuddhaintheheart.YoucanhelpmetofinditbywalkingupanddownonyourownpathslookingfortheBuddha.’Andwiththissimpleandbeautifulinstruction,manyofthosevillagersbeganmeditatingandTanAjahnMunsaidtheyobtainedwonderfulresults.

ContemplationoftheWayThingsAre

InvestigationofDhamma(dhammavicaya)isoneoftheFactorsofEnlightenment,andisatypeofcontemplationontheTeachingsandthelawsofnaturewhichcanbeusedwhilewalkingupanddownthemeditationpath.Thisdoesn’tmeanthinkingorspeculatingoveranyoldthing,itisconstantreflectionandcontemplationoftheTruth(Dhamma).

InvestigatingImpermanence

Forexample,onecancontemplateImpermanencebyobservingtheprocessofchange,andseeinghowallthingsaresubjecttochange.Onedevelopsaclearperceptionofthearisingandpassingawayofallexperience;‘life’isacontinualprocessofarisingandpassingawayandallconditionedexperienceissubjecttothislawofnature.ContemplatingthisTruth,oneseesthecharacteristicsofexistence.Oneseesthatallthingsaresubjecttochange;allthingsarenotsatisfactory;allthingsarenotself.Onecaninvestigatethesefundamentalcharacteristicsofnatureonthewalkingmeditationpath.

RecollectingGenerosityandVirtue

TheBuddhacontinuallystressedtheimportanceofgenerosity(It,26)andvirtue(SN,V,354).Whileonthewalkingpath,onecanreflectonone’svirtueoronactsofgenerosity.Walkupanddownandaskyourself,‘Today,whatactsofgoodnesshaveIdone?’AmeditationteacherIstayedwithusedtosaythatonereasonmeditatorscannotfindpeaceisthattheyhaven’tcreatedenoughgoodnessduringtheday.Goodnessisacushionfortranquillity,abaseforpeace.Ifwe’veengagedinactsofkindnessduringtheday–akindword,agooddeed,we’vebeengenerousorcompassionate–thenthemindwillexperiencejoyandrapture.Thoseactsofgoodnessandthehappinessthatcomesfromthemwillbecomeconditionalfactorsforconcentrationandpeace.Thepowerofgoodnessandgenerosityleadstohappinessanditisthatwholesomehappinesswhichformsthefoundationforconcentrationandwisdom.

Therecollectionofone’sgooddeedsisaveryappropriatemeditationsubjectwhenthemindisrestless,agitated,angry,orfrustrated.Ifthemindlackspeace,recollectyourpastkindactions.Thisisnotforthepurposeofbuildingupone’sego,itisarecognitionofthepowerofgoodnessandwholesomeness.Actsofkindness,virtueandgenerositybringjoyintothemind,andjoyisaFactorofEnlightenment(SN,V,68).Recollectingactsofgenerosity;reflectingonthebenefitsofgiving;recallingone’svirtue;contemplatingthepurityofharmlessness,thepurityofhonesty,thepurityofproprietyinsexualrelations,thepurityoftruthfulness,thepurityofnon-confusionofmindbyavoidingintoxicants,alloftheserecollectionscanserveasmeditationobjectsonthewalkingpath.

RecollectingtheNatureoftheBody

Wecanalsomeditateondeathanddyingoronthenon-beautifulnatureofthebody,ontheasubhacontemplations:corpsesinvariousstagesofdecay.Wecanvisualizetakingthisbodyapart,asamedicalstudentwoulddissectabody.We‘peeloff’theskinand‘see’what’sunderneath:thelayersoftheflesh,thesinews,thebones,theorgans.Wecanmentallyremoveeachoneoftheorgansfromthebodysoitcanbeinvestigatedandunderstood.What’sthebodymadeof?Whatareitscomponentparts?Isthisme?Isitpermanent?Isitworthyofbeingcalledaself?

Thebodyisjustanaspectofnature,likeatreeoracloud–nodifferent.Thefundamentalproblemistheattachmenttothebody;themindclingstotheviewthatthisbodyismybody;theminddelightsin‘my’body;itdelightsinotherpeople’sbodies.Thisis‘me’.Thisisself.Iownthis.Wecanchallengethisattachmenttothebodythroughcontemplationandinvestigation.Wetakeuptheobjectofthebonesofthisbody.Aswearewalkingmeditationwevisualizeabone,seeingitbleach,breakupandreturntotheearthelement.Boneiscalciumandisabsorbedintothebodythroughtheconsumptionofvegetableandanimalmatter;itcomesfromearth.Chemicalscometogethertoformbone,andeventuallythatbonewillreturntoearth.

Calciumjustiscalcium;thereisnoqualityofitbeing‘my’calciumorsomeoneelse’scalcium.Earthjustgoesbacktoearthandeachelementreturnstoitsnaturalform.Thisisnot‘me’;thisisnotworthyofbeingcalledaself.Wemeditateonandbreakdownabonetoitselementsandreturnthemtotheearth.Were-establishitagainandbreakitdownagainandwecarryonthisprocesscontinuouslyuntilclearinsightarises.

Ifyouaremeditatingonthebodyandyouhaven’tyetcompletelybrokendowntheobjectofmeditationintothefourelements(earth,air,fireandwater)andthenre-constitutedit,theworkofthemeditationisnotyetfinished.Thementalexerciseisnotyetcomplete;theworkisnotdone.Keepatit.Continuewalking.Walkupanddownandinvestigateuntilyouareabletoestablishtheperceptioninthemindofseeingtheasubhainthesubha:seethenon-beautiful,thenondelightful,andthenon-attractiveinwhatisassumedtobebeautiful,delightfulandattractive.Webreakthisbodydownandreturnittoitsnaturalelements,inordertoseeitasitreallyis.

Thetrainingofthemindtoinvestigatenatureleadstowisdom.Byrepeatingtheseexercisesofbreakingthebodydownintoitsfourelements,earth,air,fireandwater,themindseesandunderstandsthatthisisnot‘me’,not‘mine’,notself.Itseesthatthefourelementsthatconstitutethisbodyarejustaspectsofnature.Itisthemindthatattachestotheviewthatthebodyisself.Sowechallengethatattachment;wedon’tblindlyacceptit,becauseitisthatattachmentwhichcausesalloursuffering.

OtherContemplations

AnothermeditationobjecttheBuddharecommendedwastoreflectonpeace,andthenatureofpeace(Vsm,197).YetanotheristoconsiderthequalitiesofEnlightenment.AlternativelyonecanwalkupanddownreflectingonthequalitiesoftheBuddha,thequalitiesoftheDhamma,orthequalitiesoftheSangha.Oronecanrecollectheavenlybeings,Devas,andthequalitiesneededtobecomeaheavenlybeing(Vsm,III,105).

WiseUseofContemplation

TherearesomanymeditationobjectsintheBuddhistrepertoireofmeditation.Yourmeditationobjectshouldbechosencarefully.Selectameditationobjectthatstimulatesthemindwhenthemindneedsstimulating,orpacifiesthemindwhenthemindneedscalming.Butafewwordsofcautionareneededwhenusingthesecontemplationsonthewalkingpathsotheminddoesn’tgointospeculativethoughtanddriftoff–thisisveryeasytodo.Wehavetobeverymindfulandtonoteatthebeginningofthepath,themiddleandtheendofthepath,‘AmIreallywithmymeditationobjectoramIthinkingaboutsomethingelse?’Ifyouarewalkingupanddownonameditationpathforfourhours,butthereisonlymindfulawarenessforoneminuteduringthatfourhours,youhaveonlymeditatedforoneminute.

Rememberit’snothowmuchmeditationwedo,it’sthequalityofthatmeditationthatcounts.Ifyouarewalkingandthemindiswanderingoffelsewhere,you’renotmeditating.You’renotmeditatinginthesensethattheBuddhausedthewordmeditation,asbhāvanāormentaldevelopment(AN,III,125-127).It’sthequalityofmindratherthanthequantityofmeditationthatonedoesthatismostimportant.

Conclusion

ThroughoutthehistoryofBuddhism,manymonksandnunshaveattainedinsight,wisdomandenlightenmentwhileonthewalkingmeditationpath,engagedintheinvestigationoftheTruth.IntheForestMonasticTradition,everyaspectofourlifeistreatedasanopportunityformeditation.Meditationisnotjustforthetimespentseatedonthemeditationcushion.Allprocessesoflifeprovideopportunitiesforustoinvestigatereality.Westrivetoknowthingsastheyare,thatthingsariseandpassaway,tounderstandrealityasitactuallyis.

Inthisdiscussionofwalkingmeditation,Ihopetohavegivenyousomethingthatwillextendyourrepertoireofmeditationtechniques.Walkingmeditationissomethingthatyoucanuseinyourdailylifewhenyouareactive,aswellaswhenyouaredoingformalmeditation.Walkingmeditationcanbeanothermodefordevelopingthemind.Walkingmeditationgivesworkforthemindtoengagein.Ifyouhaveproblemswithdrowsiness,don’tjustsittherenodding;getupandputthemindtowork.Thisiskammatthāna:thefundamentalworkofthemind.

IntheForestTraditionwheneverameditationteachervisitsamonastery,oneofthefirstplaceshegoesistothemonks’meditationpaths,toseehowmanyfootprintsthereare.Andifthosemeditationpathsarewellworn,itisconsideredtobeasignthatitisagoodmonastery.

Mayyourwalkingpathbewellworn.

TheRealPractice

FromatalkgivenatWatPahNanachat,in2007

AjahnJayasarowasborninEnglandin1958.HespenttheRainRetreatof1978withAjahnSumedhoatOakenholtbeforetravellingtoThailand.Hewasanoviceforayear,thenreceivedfullbhikkhuordinationin1980withVenerableAjahnChahashispreceptorandfrom1997until2002,wasthe

AbbotofWatPahNanachat.AjahnJayasaronowlivesaloneinahermitageatthefootoftheKowYaimountainrangeinKorat,Thailand.

“Repetitionisnotthesameasmonotony.”

ItwasquitearevelationtomethatthevastmajorityofAjahnChah’sDhammatalkswerenotaboutmeditation,orjhanasandñanas1.Theywerenotabouthowtobeasotapanna2andwhatitisliketobeanarahant.Theywereverymuchmoredowntoearth.Theywereaboutthingslikekorwatandodton.

Whatdothesewordsmean?‘Korwat’referstothemonasticregulations,conventionsandtheguidelinesonhowweliveourlivestogetherinacommunity.‘Odton’ispatientendurance.ThoseweremajorthemesinthewaythatAjahnChahsetuphismonasteryandinthewaythathetaughthisdisciples.AndtheywerethefoundingprinciplesonwhichWatPahNanachatitselfwasestablished.Infact,fromtheverybeginningofWatPahNanachat,attitudestothatkindoftrainingandthatkindofemphasishavevariedintheirappreciationoftheuseofkorwatasameansoftrainingortherelativeimportanceoftheuseofodtoninspiritualdevelopmentofpatientendurance.AndforalltheWesternmonks,particularly,thiswasverymuchboundupwiththequestion:‘Whatispracticereallyallabout?What’stherealpractice?’

Therehavealwaysbeenmonkswhosay:‘Well,Idon’twanttostayatNanachat.It’sgoodhere,whenyoustartout,butit’snotwhereyoucandotherealpractice.Therealpracticeisthere,orsomewhereelse,ortherealpracticeisinthisplaceorthatplace,orinacaveinChiangMai–notatWatNanachat.’Thishasbeenaconstantpointofdiscussionovertheyearsand,intheprocess,theveryrealbenefitsoftrainingatthismonasteryareoverlookedorhavebeendowngraded.Andinthe‘hierarchyofwholesomequalities’(kusala-dhammas)thatweoftendevelop,thereistheideathatacertainkindofvirtueisveryhighandveryinspiring,butinthecaseofpatientendurancepeoplesay‘…aah,Ididn’tgetanythingfromitatall,exceptforpatientendurance.Iguessthat’sbetterthannothing.’WhereastheBuddhahimself,ofcourse,taughtthatpatientenduranceisthesupreme

incineratorofdefilements.Thisisaphrasethatweperhapsdon’tgiveasmuchimportancetoaswemight.

ManyyearsagowhenIwasresearchingthebiographyofAjahnChahwhichwasproducedforhisfuneral,IinterviewedLuangPorSumedho,thefirstWesternbhikkhutotrainatWatPahPongandthefirstabbotofWatPahNanachat.LuangPorSumedhowastalkingaboutwhathereallyreceivedfromAjahnChah,andIrememberhimsayinginparticularthatAjahnChahprovidedthemostconduciveenvironmentfordevelopment.It’snotthekindofanswerthatyou’dexpectfromadiscipleofsuchagreatteacher.Hedidn’tsayanythinglike:‘Oh,oncewewereonalmsroundandAjahnChahsaidsomethingandsuddenlyIlookedattheworldinadifferentway’–likeinthebooksweread.Itwasnotthehigh-pointsorspecialteachingsorprofoundwordsofwisdomthathestressed,butmoretheabilityofAjahnChahtocreateasystem;awayformonkstolivetogetherwhichwasofmostbenefittotheminthegradualreductionandeliminationoftheunwholesomedhammas,thedevelopmentofwholesomedhammas,andthepurificationofmind.

Livingtogetherasacommunityofmonksisnotcomfortable.Intheolddaysweusedtosay:‘Catholicmonks,havetheirhair-shirtsandotherformsofself-mortification.Wejustlivetogetherasbhikkhus.Thediscomfortandhardshipofthathasthesamekindofeffect.’Thefactthatit’snotcomfortableisthepointofit.Ihaveexperiencedvarioustypesoftrainingenvironmentsandhavequiteagoodgrasp,Ithink,oftheadvantagesanddisadvantagesofthese.Forthelastfewyears,Ihavebeenlivingamoresolitarylife–thekindoflife,perhaps,thatmanyofuswouldcharacterizeas‘therealkindofpractice’.Icanseethatlivinginsolitude,withthelackofdemandsuponone’stime,thelackoftension,thelackofstressandconflictandthecontinuity,andsoon,isveryconduciveinaway.Buttherearecertainveryimportantaspectsofpracticethataredifficultwhenlivingalone.Inacommunalenvironmentthesecanbedevelopedmuchmoreeasily.

Forexample,justrecently,atameetingoftheseniormonks,Imadeacertainstatementand,veryskillfully,anothermonksaidtome,‘Well,no,that’snotright.’SoIcarefullyrephrasedmystatement.Themonksmiledabitandsaid,‘Well,no,that’snotrighteither.’HewasdefinitelycorrectandIwasincorrect.Iwasjustsilent–thenallofasuddenIrealisedthatthisiswhatI’mreallymissing:livingalonethesedaysIdon’thavetheexperienceofbeingtoldthatI’mwrong.WhenImakeamistake,whenI’mlookingatthingsinthewrongwayorI’mlackingthenecessaryinformationorgetthewronginformation,Idon’thavesomebodytheretopointitout.Thisiswhat’ssohelpfulaboutlivinginacommunityofgoodfriends.

Thekindofthingswhicharedifficulttosee,livingaloneintheforest,areone’sownditthisandmanas–viewsandopinions,theconceitandtheideasaboutwhoyouare.Thesearenotarisingandpassingawayinconsciousnesslikemoodsandthoughtsandthings,whichinsolitudeyoumayhaveamuchmoresubtleandclearergraspof.Ifyouweretocompareitwithapainting:theditthiandthemanaaremorelikethecanvasortheparticularmodeofexpression–whetherit’sanoilpaintingorawater-colour.Theparticularmediumofexpressionismoreliketheditthimana.They’renotsoeasytosee,ortoimmediatelycognizeastheparticularformsthatarearisinginconsciousness.

Inmanyways,oneofthemostimportantaspectsoflivinginacommunity–somundaneandobviousthatwetendtooverlookit–isthedailyschedule.ThisiswhatAjahnChahwouldteachussooftenandwhathasbeenpasseddowntousthroughLuangPorSumedho,AjahnPabhakaro,AjahnJagaro,AjahnPasanno,myself,andAjahnÑānadhammo:lookatyourmind,lookatyourbody,andseewhat

comesupwhenyouhaveasteady,stablekindofenvironment.Seewhatcomesupinthesituationwhereeverydayismoreorlessthesame.Repetitionisnotthesameasmonotonybecausetherearealwayssubtledifferences.Howdoyoufeelwhenthebellgoesatthreeinthemorning?Howdoyoufeelaboutthat;whathappens?Howeasyisittogetupinthemorning;howdifficult?Isitthesameeveryday;doesitchange?Whydoesitchange;what’sthedifference?Whatarethecauses;whataretheconditions?Howdoesitfeelgoingtothesalaeverymorning?Whatisyourattitudetomorningchanting?Doyoulikeit;doyoudislikeit?Doyoufeelindifferent?Doyoulikeitwhensomepeopleleadthechantingandnotwhenotherpeopleleadthechanting?Doyoulikethisorthatchant?Howdoyoufeelaboutgoingonalmsround?Howdoyoufeelaboutthisalmsrouteratherthanthatalmsroute?Allthesekindsoflikesanddislikesarecomingupandbecomingverycleartoyoubecauseyouhaveastablebackgroundofkorwat.You’renotdoingthingsthewayyouwanttodothem.

Whenyouhaveanopportunitytolivealone,thefirstthingyouthinkis,‘Ah,thisiswhatIwant!’Youcansitaslongasyouwant,walkaslongasyouwant.Therearesomanythingsyoucandointhewayyou’vealwayswantedtodothem.Itfeelsgood–noquestionaboutthat.Butthatfeelingofrelaxationandenjoymentisnotnecessarilyawholesomethinginthelongrun.WhatIthinkiswholesomeiswhenyoudon’thavethatmuchcontroloverthings.Ofcourseyouhavecontrolinthesensethatyou’vevolunteeredtocomehere.Nobodyforcedyoutoenterthismonastery;totakeonthetraining.Youcommittedyourselftoit,youtookdependencefromtheAjahn,andthatmeansitislikeacontract.‘Okay,Isignedupforthisnow.AndI’mwillingtogiveupacertainamountofmyfreedomwiththeconfidenceandfaiththatthistrainingwillhaveabeneficialeffectonme’.Andthen–whenwe’reinthatsafeenvironment,whereeveryone’sconductisconditionedanddeterminedbyVinaya3andweallhavethatsenseofspiritualfriendship:we’reallfollowingthesamepathtowardsthesamegoalandwecanfeelthatconfidencethatpeoplearelivingwithintheboundariesoftheVinayaandnooneisgoingtohurtusandharmus–thenwegiveourselvesuptothedailyschedule.Andwelearntolookatwhathappens.

Inthecourseofdailylifeinthemonastery,someofthestuffthatcomesupmayseemquiteridiculous.Taketheexampleofgettingveryirritatedaboutsomeonewhohasspilledwaterontheirseatanddoesn’twipeitoff.Thinkhowthiswouldsoundifyouweretoexplainittosomeoneoutsidethemonastery:‘Igotangryaboutwaterthathadbeenspilledontheseatandnotwipedoff’.Oryougetirritatedbecausesomeonemakessuchaloudnoisecomingintothesala.Ormaybesomebodyelseisalwayssneezing–Icouldgoon.Thisiswhatwecallthe‘rubby-up’4,becauseit‘rubsyouup’thewrongway.Thiskindofthingisgoingonallthetimeandit’snotreallyinspiring.You’dbeembarrassedtotellsomebodyabouttheseinstanceswhenemotionsarebroughtupinyourmind.Butthat’snotreallythepoint;let’slookatthemeaningofit.

Let’ssaysomeonetakessomethingyouthinkisreallyyours;youfeelyouhadarighttoit,maybe.Oranothermonkisabitgreedyandtakestoomuchofsomething,likesweetsforexample.Normallyyou’dnotgetinvolvedinsuchapettythingbutsupposethesituationisthattherewasjustatinyamountthereinthefirstplaceandthatotherpersonhastakentoomuchofit.Insuchacase,aswearemonks,wecouldlivewithit,thinking:‘Sowhat?’Butherewearesaying:‘Itshouldn’tbelikethat.It’snotright.It’snotfair ’.Todosuchathingjustseemstoshakethewholefoundationofwhatamonasticcommunitymeans;whatitmeanstolivetogether.

Ourexperiencesarealwaysfilteredthroughacertainlens,aframework.Andthisisthewholerealmofditthior‘framing’:wealwaysseethingsthroughaparticularframe.Andintheearlyyearsof

monasticlife,whatwewerereallyconcernedaboutmorethananythingelse–apartfromdevelopingarealsenseofsenserestraint,andskillsinusingthetoolsoftheVinayaandkorwatasameanstoenhanceandfirmlygroundourselvesinthepresentmoment–whatwewerereallyconcernedaboutwasthewaytostraightenupourditthis;tocreatecorrectframes.Therearesomanythingsinlifethatbringupunwholesomedhammas,justbecauseoftheparticularframethroughwhichwe’relookingattheworld;theexpectationswehave,thewisheswehave,thedesireswehave.

AjahnChah’steachingscomedownagainandagaintotheFourNobleTruths:thefoundationofallofourpractice.FirstNobleTruth:dukkha.SecondNobleTruth:samudaya,thecause,tanhā,craving.Sowhatwearefacingisthis:wantingthingsandnotgettingthem;notlikingpeople,notlikingthings,buthavingtoputupwiththem;likingthings,wantingthings,andnotbeingabletobewiththem.Andthisisthenitty-grittyofmonasticlifeinacommunity.Maybeyoulookatthepersonnexttoyouandthink:‘Ibecameamonktogetawayfrompeoplelikethat.IneverthoughtIwouldmeetsomeonelikethatinthemonastery,’(someofthesemonkscanactuallylaterbecomegreatfriends,bytheway,butthat’sanotherstory).Sowhatit’saboutisconformingtothemonasticschedule.Inthiscontext,we’relookingatthingsthat,inconventionalBuddhistterminology,arethefivekhandas,orthefourfoundationsofmindfulnessandsoonandbeinggivenperiodicreflectionsthatenableustodevelopsomekindofperspectivesoweareabletoseeallkindsofdifficultiescomingup.

Itiscommonforbhikkhustodevelopblindspotsinthepractice,whichbecomemoreandmoreembeddedandmoreandmoredifficulttogetridof–totheextentthatwetendtoshyawayfromthecommunity.Thisiswhyspendingafiveyearperiodofapprenticeshipincommunitylifebeforegoingaloneonextendedperiodsofmeditationisabasicprincipleinourmonasticlife.RightSpeech,forexample;youcannotdeveloprightspeechlivingalone.Weallhavetodealwithunwholesomehabitsofspeechthatwecarryintomonasticlife.RightSpeechisone-eighthoftheEightfoldPath–it’snotaminorconsideration.Itisonlyincommunitylifethatyoucanreallyunderstandrightspeech.WatNanachatisagoodplacefordevelopingrightspeech,eventhoughitmightseemthattherearesomanypeoplehere,somanysocialcontactsitstirsthingsup.That’saparticularframe;justawayoflookingatthings.Thereisconceit,thereareviews;thereisconfrontationifyoucomeupwithsomethingridiculous,oryouactinanobnoxiousway;somebodytakesyouuponit.InThaimonasteriesusuallypeoplejustturnaway,theydon’twantanykindofhassle.InWatNanachatyouoftengetpulledupforitandthatiswhyalotofpeopledon’tlikeithere.

Thereisarealvalueinthekorwat-trainingthatIsawveryclearlyduringtheperiodthatIwasrunningthemonastery.Idon’thavethepsychicpowerstojustsitandseewhoisdoingwhatintheirkutiorwhoispractisingwell–mostabbotsdon’t!Butoneofthewayswe,asleadersofcommunities,canhaveaverygoodideaofwhoisgoingofftherails,orwhoisgoingalittlebitstrange,isthiswholeideaofkeepingthekorwat.Whoiscomingoutformorningchanting?Whomissesalmsroundorcomesoutlate?Whodoesn’tsweepintheafternoons?Alltheseaspectsofthedailyschedule,areveryclearindicatorsofwherepeople’smindsareat.

Therelationshipbetweentheinnerandtheouterisaninterestingone.Sīlaandthewaywelivetogetherissomethingthatisconstantlymodifyingusandchangingthewaywelookatourselves,ourselfimage.So,asyoungmonks,we’retryingtodevelopwhatiscalled‘samana-sañña’(theperceptionofbeingasamana5)andI’llgiveyouanon-monasticexampleconcerningthischangeofattitudethatisquiteinteresting.TheydidanexperimentinAmericawheretheytooksomesigns,promotingroadsafety,knockedonpeople’sdoorsintwosuburbanareasandaskediftheycouldputa

signintheirfrontgarden.Thesignswerereallybigandugly,theywouldobscuretheviewandlooktotallyawful.Inthefirstsuburb,80%saidtheydidn’twantthesigns.Inthesecondsuburb,70%saidtheywouldn’tobjecttohavingthesignintheirfrontgarden.Whatwasthedifference?Well,threeweekspreviously,thepeopleinthesecondsuburbhadbeengivenasmallsign,justthreeinchesbythreeinches,promotingroadsafetyandaskediftheycouldstickitontheirfrontdoor.Thatwasjustenoughtochangetheirperceptionofthemselves.Nowtheyhadmadethiscommitmentbyhavingasmallsignontheirfrontdoor,theirsenseofthemselveshadchanged:theyhadthisspecificconcernforroadsafety.So,threeweekslater,whentheywereaskedtoputthebigsignintheirfrontgarden,theyhadafeelingthattheyshouldbeconsistentwiththisnewideaofwhotheyareand70%saidyestothesebiguglysigns.

Now,thecomparisonwithmonasticlifeisthis:tokeeptheVinaya,toberestrained,tofollowthekorwat–thesearenotmerelyexternalthingsthathavenothingtodowiththerealpractice.Theyhaveaverysubtleeffectonoursenseofwhoweare.Thesamana-sañña,theconventionalsenseofbeingabhikkhu;ofbeingasamana;ofbeingsomeonewhohaslefttheworld,isgraduallydevelopingthroughthesimplicityofmorningchanting,eveningchanting,almsround,sweeping,sitting,walking.Alltheserepeatedactionsarecontributing.InthewordsofthatfamoussimileofSuzukiRoshi:itisnotlikegoingoutintherainstormandgettingwet;itislikegoingoutinthefogandgraduallygettingmoreandmorewet.

Ithinkitworksanditiseffective,providedthatyou’reabletolookatitandseeexactlythevalueofitandgiveyourselftoit.WatPahNanachatisnotanisolatedWesternornon-ThaienclaveintheThaimonasticworld.Wearepartofsomethingmuchbigger;weareonebranchof200branches.Wearepartofthelineageofwonderfulteachers.OneofthegreatestwasinWatPahNanachattoday,theupajjhāyaofmanyofyouhere,LuangPorLiem.Andso,asWatPahNanachatmonks,ourunderstandingisthatwearepartoftheAjahnChahtradition.Thetraininghereisnotonethatisrestrictedtothisoneplace;wewillhavetheopportunitytoliveatPooJomGomandDtaoDum,andalltheotherbranchmonasteries.Orwe’llhavetheopportunitytoliveinThaimonasteries,wherewecanlearnthelanguageandtheculturemoreeasily.WehavePooJomGomandDtaoDumwherewecanlivemoreinsolitude.Theideaisthatofaroundedtraining.

Pleasekeepinmindthateventhegreatestteachersarenotalwayscompetentineveryarea.Thereisacase,quiterecently,whereoneofthemostrespectedofourteachershadarealproblemwithaghostinthismonastery.Hewasn’tabletodealwithitandhadtoinviteanothermonkwhoisanexorcisttocomeandhelp.Everymonkhashisstrongpointandhisweakpoints.Theyarenotcompletelybrilliantineverything.Theideaoflivingwithagreatenlightenedteacherisveryattractivetoallofus.Fortunately,inourmonasticlife,wewillhavethatopportunityatsomepointbutitisnotashortcuttospiritualprogress.Oftenthereisalotofpoliticsaroundgreatteachers,alotofjealousy,andmonkswhoareclosetogreatteacherscaneasilybecomeheedlessandconceited.Inmonasticlifethereareallkindsofdifferentchallenges.Butthereisalwayssomethingelsetolearn.

Ihavespentmanyyearsinthismonasteryandfeelagreataffectionandconnectionwithitand,likeallthepreviousabbots,IstillfeelI’mapartofWatPahNanachatandsupportitverymuch.We’realllivingtogetheraskalyānamittā(goodfriendsintheDhamma),whichmeansthatwearetryingtohelpeachothertoovercomeunwholesomedhammasandhelpeachothertodevelopwholesomedhammas.EveryoneofushereisintrainingandwearealllearningaboutBuddha-Dhammaanddevelopingslowlyandgraduallyorevenrapidly.Myfeelingisthattheframeworkhereissolidand

thecommunityherehasalotofpotential.IwouldliketowishAjahnKevali,thenewabbot,everysuccessandhappinessandgreatbenefitforallofyouwhoarecommittingyourselftothetraininghere.

1specialknowledges

2streamenterer,thefirstoffourstagesofenlightenment

3themonasticcode,discipline,themonksrules

4playonwords:theThaiword‘rubbiyab’(oftentransliteratedas‘rabieb’)meansstandards,andisusedinthemonasteryfortherulesandregulationsthemonksfollowintheirdailyactivities

5recluse,contemplative,monk,literally:apeacefulone

ChantingasaPractice

AdaptedfromatalkgivenatWatPahNanachat,in2010

AjahnKevali,borninGermanyin1968,becameanoviceatWatPahNanachatin1997.HewasreceievedintotheSanghaasabhikkhuin1998.AfterseveralyearstrainingunderhisteacherLuang

PorLiem,hewasaskedtotakeupthepositionofabbotatWatNanachatwhereheiscurrentlyresident.

“ChantingissomethingthatconnectsuswiththetimelessqualityoftheBuddha’steachings”

Thespiritualexerciseofchantingthatweoftendotogetherhasmanybeneficialaspects:thecultivationofmindfulness,thebuildingofconcentration,thedevelopmentofwisdom,thespreadingofloving-kindnessandalsosimplybeingpresentwithasenseoftimelessness.Ihavefoundthatalltheseaspectsofourtrainingcanarisefromchanting;particularlywhenwearerecitingthesetraditional,archaicversesintheancientlanguageofPali.Mostofusdon’tfullyunderstandPali,howeveranatmosphereiscreatedfromallthegoodwillwegenerate.Puttingourheartsintothechantingdoeshaveaneffect,subconsciouslyorconsciously.

I’mthinkinghereofthetimeswhenwearechantingtheparittastogether,(theprotectiveverses)andhow,overtheyearsinthemonastery,allofushavebeenexposedmanytimestotheseverses–thesesameversesthathavebeenpasseddowntousfromtheBuddha.Anddespiteournotbeingfluentinthelanguage,wedounderstandthemeaningofmanyoftheindividualwords.Thesewordshavecertaindhammascapturedorencodedinthem.Aswerecitethem,themeaningcanbeatrigger–somethingwecanwrapourconsciousnessaround.Chantingtheparittasisdefinitelyameditation.Itcreatesasenseofpeaceandharmonyandatthesametimecultivatesunderstanding.

ApplyingMindfulnessinTwoWays

ChantingasapracticecomprisesthetwoaspectsofcultivatingmindfulnessinthewayitistraditionallytaughtinThailand.Firstistheawareness-aspectofmindfulness(inThai:kwamroodtua),whichcapturesthequalityofbeinginthepresentmoment,lettingtheatmosphereandtheall-round-experienceofthepracticethatyouaredoingtakeoverallyourheartandfeelingsinawaythatisfullyaware,justlikewhenyouconsciouslyimmerseyourselfintheflowandatmosphereofthewordsyouarechanting(withoutpayingmuchattentiontotheirparticularmeanings).

Secondistheaspectofmindfulnessasrecollection(inThai:kwamraluegdai),whichdefinitelymeansthatyouareapplyingyourmind,referringtosomespecifictaskinwhichyoudohaveaslightchoiceofattention;wheretofocuson,suchaswhenyouarebringingtheteachingstomind.

Theseaspectsweknowwellfromourmeditationpracticeofrecitingthemeditationword‘Buddho’.Whenwerecite‘Buddho’alongwiththerhythmofthebreath,wesetourselvesasimpletaskwhich,asatechnique,doesn’trequirespecificskills;itissomethingrepetitive,somethingthatworksbyitself.Sowecanallowourselvestobefullyinthepresentmoment,followingwhatishappening.Thesimplicityofthetaskmaintainsitself.

Conversely,anexampleofhavingmindfulnesswithamoreelaboratetaskiswhenyouareapplyingyourfocusedattentiontosolvingacertainmathematicalproblemlikeaddingsomenumbersinyourhead,ordoingcountingmeditationtechniques.Thisismoreofacomplicatedtaskthanrepeatingasinglewordsuchas‘Buddho’.Memorizingandrecallingawholesequenceofwordswhenrecitingtheparittascangointhesamedirection.

ConnectingwiththeBuddha

Usuallywhenwerecitethesinglemeditationword‘Buddho’wecombinethiswiththebreath,lettingthebreathflowthewayitisalreadyflowingnaturallybyitself.Wesimplyfollow.Yet,whenthingsgettooeasy,toorepetitive,ourthinkingmind,ourproliferatingmindlikestogooff,goastrayandwanderawayfromwhatwewereactuallydoing.Thenthesecondaspectofmindfulness–therecollectionaspect–comesintoplay.Weconsciouslygiveourselvesalittlehintatthemeaningofwhatweareactuallyrepeating.Whatisit–‘Buddho’?Whatisthemeaningofthisword?Justthislittleapplicationofthoughtaboutwhatweareactuallydoing,alittlebitofwisdomappliedattherighttime,cantakeusoutofthehindrancesofjustlettingthingsslipawaywithoutawareness,andenablesustocomebacktowhatweareactuallydoing,seeingthepreciousnessofitandmakingitmeaningful.

Letusrecallthemeaningandthebeautycapturedintheword‘Buddho’.‘Buddho’means:theonewhoknows,whoisaware,whoisfullyawakened,whoisradiant,blissfulandatpeace.WecanrecollectsomeoftheaspectsofthosegreatqualitiesoftheBuddha,whichresonatewithinthewordBuddho,andstartemulatingthosesamequalitiesinourmindaswemeditate,feelingconnectedtothem.Thenwearebeingtruetowhatwe’reactuallydoinginourpractice,ortruetowhatwe’reactuallysayingwiththewordsthatwearerepeating.

Soeventhesimplerecitationofthemeditationword‘Buddho’cancapturebothaspectsofmindfulness–thefirstone,whereyoujustcompletelyletgoandimmerseyourselfinthepresentmomentexperienceandjustlettheawarenessoftheatmospheretakeoveryourmind,feelingyourmindexpanding,wideningandbroadening,becomingradiantandall-encompassingtowardsanythingthathappens.Andthereisthesecondaspectofmindfulness,whereyouareputtingeverythingdowntoacertainparticulartaskandexercise,givingrisetoaspecificmeaning,thatthenfullycapturesyourmind.

Doingthispracticeofsittingsilentlymeditatingonthetwosyllables‘Bud-dho’canbringupalotofjoyous,blissfulfeelings–anexperienceofelevation.Byrecitingandcorrectlyfocussingattentionwefillourheartswithfaithanddevotion.Insodoingwebegintosenseaconnectionwithsomethingbeyond‘I’,‘me’,‘mine’.MeditatingonthenameoftheBuddhacanleadustoaconnectionwithan

aspirationsharedbymanypractitionersthroughthecenturies;somethingverybroadanduniversal.PreviouslywehadstudiedabouttheBuddhaandreachedagoodenoughcognitiveappreciation;nowweareincludingfeelingsofdevotioninourpractice.

InvokingaTimelessEnergy

Wemayencounterhindrancesofrestlessness,worries,doubtsoragitationinourmeditation,andjusttwosyllablesmightnotbeenough.WemightneedmorebeforewefindafeelingofconnectionorrelationshipwiththeBuddhaandthelifehelivedinthemiddleGangesValley2550yearsago.Thisiswhenwecanturntochantingtheparittas.Itislikeputtingonourfavouritealbum–the‘GreatestHits’oftheBuddha’stimelessteachings.TheseverseshavebeenpopularfromthetimeoftheBuddhauntilnowinthe26thcentury.Theyhavebeenrecitedregularlythroughoutthistimebymanybeings,bothenlightenedandunenlightened.Theytoowereupliftingtheirheartsthroughrecitation.Whiletheywererecitingtheseverysamewordstheyputalltheirmindfulnessandwisdom,devotionandloving-kindnessintothechants,buildingupasenseofusingthemasablessing;assomethingverywholesomethatmanifestsanatmosphereofwell-wishing,ofpeace,ofkusaladhammas.Whenwemoveawayfromthecognitiveaspectofmakinganefforttokeepallthosewordsinmind,wecanquiteliterallyfeelthis.

Havingtheopportunitytochanttogetherwecanactuallybeawareoftheatmosphereorvibrationpresentintheairwhilethesemeaningfulwordsandsentencesarebeingheartfullyrecitedinunison.Lettinggoofhesitationonecanallowthesoundoftheteachingstofilltheroom,filltheair,fillthecosmosandexpand.Itisagreatpowerthatwearecreatingtogetherasagroupandwecanfeelitspresence:howliterallytheenergyoftheheartcomeswiththesoundeachchanterisputtingintoit.AndIbelieveitisn’tjustsomethingthatweasagrouparecreatingnow,butitconnectswiththetimelessqualityoftheseteaching,andthelonghistoryofallthedisciplesoftheBuddhachantingthemthroughouttheagesinthesamewayaswearedoingitnow.

Forexample,whenwerecitethe‘Itipiso’-chant:wearegoingthroughthequalitiesoftheBuddha,theDhamma,andtheSanghainexactlythemanneraswefindrecordedintheancienttexts.IntheoriginalPaliorintheEnglishtranslationyoucanreadhowthesearethewordsusedbythekingsofthetimeandthedevotees:bhikkhus(monks),bhikkhunīs(nuns),laymenandwomen.TheseverywordsofhomageandpraisewereusedtogreettheBuddhaandpayhomagetohim.WeareexpressingdevotionbyperformingthesamesalutationsasisfoundinthecanonicalrecordsreferringtoKingPasenadiofKosalaforexampleandofmanyoftheseniordiscipleslikeVenerableSariputtaandVenerableMoggallāna.

TheTeachings:TagsforMindfulness

WeknowhowtheprofundityoftheBuddha’steachingsonanintellectuallevelcanupliftourheartsandmindsasweseethemeaningandthenecessityofapplyingoneselftowhattheBuddhataught.Nowwearechantingtheactualunembellishedoriginalwordsthatwereusedindeliveringtheseteachings.WecaneasilyseethisintheKaranīya-mettasutta(thediscourseonLoving-Kindness).AsImentioned,eventhoughwearenotfamiliarwithallthelinguisticdetailsofthetraditionallanguage,wedoknowalotmorethanwemightthink.

Therearemanyindividualwordsinthesechantsthatwearetotallyfamiliarwith;wedoknowthemeaningofthem;wedounderstandwhattheyarepointingto.Wecanseetheseashingesortagsfor

mindfulness.Thesewordscanbringupaparticularfeelingofknowing,hereandnow.Inourheartswecanbeapplyingthoseteachingsatthesametimeaswerecitethewords.Itbecomesaskillworthmakingmuchof:stayingwiththewordsofthechant,attendingtothemeaningandatthesametimebeingintouchwiththeblissfulatmosphere.Wecanfeeltheenergythatisgeneratedwhilechantingtheparittasatthesametimeasapplyingourselvestotheparticularsoftheteachings.Wehaveawarenessandaqualityofrecollectionatthesametime.

Inthemahā-mangalasutta(thediscourseonGreatestBlessings),thirtyeightblessingsarementioned;eachoneisatagformindfulness.Whilewearerecitingthesewordswecanactuallyrelatetothem.Wecanbeveryquickinourmindfulnesstoabsorbthemeaning.Wecangeneratethespiritoftheseteachingsasarealityrighthereandnow.Forexampleinthissuttawefindversesongratitudementioned.WehaveheardDhammatalksonthisvirtuemanytimes,oftenquotingfromthemahā-mangalasutta.Sowehaveaccumulatedanunderstandingthateasilyunfoldswhenweconsciouslyrecallit.Ortaketheteachingsaroundloving-kindnessfoundintheKaranīyamettasutta:somanyguidedmeditationsthatwehaveheardovertheyearshavequotedexactlyfromthisdiscourse.Itisn’tdifficultwhilewechanttheseoriginalwordstoactuallyfollowtheinstructionthattheBuddhawasgiving.

ChantingtheBuddhisttextsisnotatechnicalormentalexerciseorsomethingthatispractisedmerelyasatraditionorculturalritual.Ratheritisdevotionandrecollectionwithmindfulnessandawarenessthatwearedeveloping.Itoffersatangiblesenseofupliftforthosewhoarechantingandalsoforthoselistening.Iamsuremanyofushavehadsuchanexperiencewhenwefirstheardthesechants.SometimesatWatNanachathereinthemorningandeveningmeetingstheAjahndecidesnottodotheusualchantingwithtranslations,andtheSanghainsteadchantstheparittasinPali.Averyinspiringfeelingcomesoutofthat.Icandefinitelyrecallmanyfaith-inspiringoccasionswhenIfirstarrivedhereandwasgettingtoknowtheTheravadatradition;timesofsensingintensehappinessandblissduringthechanting,eventhoughIdidn’tunderstandasinglewordofwhatwasbeingrecited–transportedbyanatmospherechargedwiththosechants.Allthoseindividualsputtingtheirconsciousawarenessintothoseancientwords;allthosepeopleinawholesomestateofmindrecitingthesewholesomedhammascreatedablessingintheair.

GeneratingBlessings

Itisthistangibleenergyofblessingwhichcomesfromchantingtheparittasthatinspiresourfaithfulsupporterstoinviteusintotheirhomes.Maybetheyhaveanxietiesorworries;orperhapssomething‘inauspicious’hashappened,sotheyaskustocomeandchant.Irememberoncewewereinvitedtochantinahousewhereaparticularsnakehadappearedthreetimes.Themonkswereinvitedtochanttocreateanauspiciousenergy.Asaresult,onaheartlevel,peopledidn’thavetosufferfearbutcouldfeeltheplacehadbeenblessed;therewasasensethatobstructionshadbeenclearedaway.DhammawasintheairbecausethemonkshadbeenrecitingtheBuddha’steachings.

Thisalsoappliesforourselveswhenweareperhapsoverwhelmedbyfearandworries.Maybeweevenfeardeath.ManyofourThaifriendsstrugglewhengoingintoadarkspacewheretheirimaginationbringsupfearofmalevolentbeingsthreateningthem.Orifwetakeupresidenceinanewkuti(hut),orsleepwithoutprotectionattherootofatree,wecanskilfullyturntorecitingtheseteachingstogenerateawholesomefeelingwhichdrivesawayunwholesomemindstates.Thisishowwecanpracticewhenordinarymindfulnessisnotstrongenoughtoletgoofthehindrancesthathave

arisen;whenwecan’tsimplydwellpeacefullyintheawarenessofthepresentmoment.Atsuchtimesweneedsomethingmoretangibletoworkwith.

Wecanusetheteachingsandtheaccumulatedfeelingofchargeddevotionalenergytoovercomeunwholesomestatesandbeateaseintroubledsituations.Ihavemanytimesfoundmyselfinuncomfortablesituationswhere,withoutanyconsciousplanningorevenunderstandingexactlywhy,wordsorextractsoftheseoldchantshavespontaneouslycomeintomymind;thesesamewordsthattheBuddhausedandrecommendedhisdisciplesuse.Whenfacedwithanxiety,doubtsorwhenconfrontedwithanaccidentforexample,Ihavefoundaccessingtheaccumulatedblessingofthesechantshasbeenagreathelp.TheirappearinginthemindatsuchtimeschangedhowIrelatedtothesituation.WithoutthistangiblypresentenergyIcouldwellhavebeenoverwhelmedandlostmindfulnessandbehavedfoolishlyorheedlessly.

AllofuswhohavespenttimeinDtaoDamMonastery,inthedensejunglesontheThai-Burmeseborder,knowthevalueofspreadingloving-kindnesstoallbeings.Thereweoccupyaplacewherewearenotautomaticallyentitledtoprotection.Itisadangeroussituation–surroundedbyvariousanimalsthatcouldeasilybecomeirritated,seeingusashavingintrudedintotheirrealm,theirhabitat.Soweconsciouslychoosetomakeknown,andspreadaround,ourgoodintentionbywayofrecitingthesechants.Weinvestwholesomeenergyinthesewordsandusethemasananchor,astagsforwholesomedhammas.

BuildingupConcentration

SothistraditionalformofchantingthattheTheravadatraditionhasmaintainedoverthecenturiescanhelpusdevelopmanydifferentpracticesanditisgoodtobeawareofthis.Thesearenotmerelyritesandrituals;thisisnotanemptyprocedure.

Inadditiontocultivatingmindfulness,faithanddevotion,chantingcanalsobeusedtobuildconcentrationorsamādhi.Wehavelotsofviewsandopinionsabouthowtodevelopone-pointednessofmind,thejhanas;wecertainlyhaveheardlotsoftalksonthesubject.Well,wecanalsousethisancientpracticeofchantingtheparittas.Learntobereallyprecisewithyourchanting,todojustonething,tonotdoubtatall.Learntorecitethewordsthatarecorrectforeachstanza.Workwithfindingafeelingofbeingintheflowofthechantandatthesametimebeingpresentwiththedetails.Don’tallowmindfulnesstoslipanddriftintothepastorthefuture.Beconcentrated.

Itdefinitelytakesskilltorecitetheteachingsprecisely.Itrequiresmaintainingaqualityofmindfulnessthatknowswhatyouaredoingandwhyyouaredoingit,withoutwavering.Weneedenoughconcentrationtosustainhalfanhourofattentionwithoutthemindwanderingoff;havingenoughpresencetochantfullywithoutlosingenergy;torememberthecorrectwordsandthecorrectpitch.Andwhileweareawareofthosepegsofmindfulness,atthesametimeweimmerseourselvesintheatmospheregenerated–maintainingthisoveranextendedperiodoftime,notjustforafewsyllables.Sustainingtheappliedenergyoffocusandapplicationofmindfulness,andwisdomforthirty,forty,fiftyorahundredminutes;howeverlongthechantingmaytake.

IrememberhowfascinatedIwasthefirsttimeIheardtherecitationofthemonksrule(pātimokkha).Asnoviceswewouldquietlycomeintothebackoftheordinationhalltowardstheendofthechanting,tobepartofthecommunalexhortationafterwards.Iwassostruckbytheprecisionoftherecitation.Ithoughtatthetime,‘Thisistheapplicationofaconcentratedmind.Itiscertainlyaskillto

beabletoholdtooneobject,tokeeptoacertainmodeofmindforfiftytosixtyminuteswithoutdoubtingorwavering.’Itwasabeautifulchantbutalsoexquisitelyprecise;therhythm,thepronunciation.ItremindedmeofaJapaneseformofmartialartwherethepowerofaconcentratedmindproducestremendousenergy.Ithadmethinkinghow,inthisoldTheravadatraditiontheydefinitelyknewwhattheyaredoing:tobeabletochantfrommemory,withsustainedattentionforthatperiodoftime,withoutwavering;beingtotallypresent.’Idon’tknowwhatthetechnicaltermforthiskindofsamādhiis–khanika,upacāra–butitisdefinitelysamādhi.Itismindfulness,concentration,wisdom;allintheretogether.NoticehowinthispracticewearealsodevelopinganotherfactorfromtheNobleEightfoldPath,RightEffort(sammāvāyāmo):weareincreasingwholesomedhammas,makingmuchofthemsotheyfilltheair,sotheyspread.

Wecansee,therearemanybenefitsofhavingtheskilltorecitetheteachingsliketheparittas.Whenourmindwon’tsettleonsomethingasloftyandsubtleasthebreathwecanusetheseancientchants–tagsformindfulness,tagsforconcentration–andfindatangiblelinktotheBuddha’steachingonboththedevotionalandwisdomlevel.Thisapplieswhatevershapeorrhythmsuitsourmodeofpracticeatanygiventime.Atthesametime,aswerecitethesetraditionalchantswearegeneratingblessingwithinourownheartsandblessingthatbenefitallbeingsinalldirections:humanbeings,non-humanbeings,thoseinhappystatesandthoseinabodesofsuffering.

MayallbeingsbenefitfromourpracticeofrecitingtheBuddha’steaching.

InNorthAmerica

SpiritualFriendship

FromatalkgivenatAbhayagiriMonastery,in2010

AjahnPasanno,originallyfromnorthernCanada,tookordinationinThailandin1974.DuringhisfirstyearasamonkhemetAjahnChah,andaskedtobeallowedtostayandtrainwithhim.OneoftheearlyresidentsofWatPahNanachat,hebecameitsabbotinhisninthyearasamonk.In1997Ajahn

PasannomovedtoAbhayagiriBuddhistMonastery,whereheiscurrentlytheabbot.

“It’souractionsofbody,speechandmindthatdesignateourwell-beingoroursuffering.”

Recently,IcameacrossasuttaMN97,theDhānañjāniSuttathatillustratesthethemesofkalyānamitta(spiritualfriendship)andmakingchoices.ThesuttabeginswithVenerableSāriputtawalkingwithagroupofmonksinthehillssouthofRājagaha.HehadbeenawayfromthemaincommunityofmonksforsometimeandamonkwhohadspenttheRainsRetreatinRājagahaattheBambooGrovecamedowntothatregionandmetwithVenerableSāriputta.BecausetheBuddhahadbeenlivingintheBambooGrove,VenerableSāriputtaasksthemonk,

‘HowistheBuddha–ishewellandstrong?’

‘Yes,theBuddhaiswellandstrong.’

‘HowistheSanghafaring?’

‘TheSanghaisfaringwell.It’swellandstrong.’

VenerableSāriputtathenasksafteralaypersonthathehadknown:

‘HowisthebrahmanDhānañjāni?’

Themonkreplies,‘ThebrahmanDhānañjāniiswellandstrong.’

‘Ishediligent?’

‘Oh,howcanhebediligent?Hehasbeendishonestandcorruptwithinsociety.Hehasbeencheatingthekingandusinghisinfluencewiththekingtoplunderthelaycommunity.Hiswife–whowasawomanoffaithandcamefromaclanthatwasestablishedinfaith–haspassedaway,

andhehasnowmarriedsomeoneelsewhodoesn’thavefaithandcomesfromaclanwhodoesn’thavefaith.’

AndVenerableSāriputtasays,‘Hmm…okay.Well,maybewhenIgetbacktoRājagaha,I’llhavetotalkwithhim.’

ConventionalandTranscendentRealities

Thatincidenthighlightsoneaspectofkalyānamitta–howVenerableSāriputta,afullyenlightenedArahant–asksquestionsonaveryconventionallevel.Justbecausehe’sanArahant,itdoesn’tmeanhespeaksonlyintranscendentmodes.Hespeaksonahumanlevel.TheBuddhaishisteacherandtheSanghaisacommunityhehasmanycloserelationshipswith.WhentheBuddhastatesthatspiritualfriendshipisthewholeoftheholylife,it’snotjustatheory;that’showit’slived,evenamongthemembersoftheSanghawhohavedonetheirwork,whoarecompletelyliberated.WhensomeonelikeVenerableSāriputta,whomtheBuddhadeclaredasforemostinwisdom,recognizestheimportanceofspiritualfriendship,thenfortherestofusit’saverygoodreminderofhowessentialthatqualityis.

ThesuttagoesonwithVenerableSāriputtawanderingbystagesbacktoRājagahaandstayingattheBambooGrove.Whenhe’sthere,hetakestheopportunitytovisitthebrahmanDhānañjāni.Heaskshim,

‘Howareyou–areyouwell?’

Ofcourse,Dhānañjānisays,‘I’mwell.’

VenerableSāriputtajustasksinnocentquestions:‘Andareyoudiligent,brahman?’inthesenseof,‘Areyoukeepingupwithyourpractice,areyoumaintainingyourtraining?’

‘Oh,howcanIbediligent?I’vegottolookaftermyparents,mywifeandmychildren.I’vegottolookaftermyfamily,friendsandworkers.I’vegottoperformallofthefunctionsofmydutiestowardtheking,andthenIhavetomaintainmyownphysicalbody,soit’sdifficulttobediligent.’

ThenVenerableSāriputtaasksaquestionagain:‘IfoneisneglectfuloftheDhamma,isnotlivinginaccordancewiththeDhammaandislivingunskillfully,whenonediesandisfacedwiththewardensofhell,andyoutrytotellthem,‘It’sbecauseofmyparentsthatI’vebeenlivingunrighteouslyandhavenotbeenlivinginaccordancewiththeDhamma,’whatdoyouthinkthey’dsaytothat?’

‘Well,Idon’tthinkthatwouldmakemuchofanimpressionwiththem.’

‘Andwhatifyourparentstriedtoconvincethewardensofhellthatyou’vebeenlivingunrighteouslyandnotinaccordancewiththeDhammabecauseyou’vebeenlookingafterthem?’

‘Idon’tthinkthey’dlistentome.’

ThenVenerableSāriputtagoesthroughthewholelistofpeopleaftertheparentsandasksthesamequestions–yourwifeandchildren,circleoffamilyandrelatives,workersandassociates,theking,andyourbody.Ofcourseit’sallthesameanswer.Thesearenotconvincingargumentswhenitcomes

downtotheparticulars,especiallyifonetakesitasareflectionupontheimpersonalnatureofkamma.Whenonecomestotheendofone’slife,thatkammaisstillripeninginaparticularfashion,despitethedifferentexcusesandrationalizations.Andsaying,‘Iwastoobusytobedoingthisordoingthat,Iwastoobusytopractice,Iwastoobusytobekeepingtheprecepts,Iwastoobusytodevelop–itdoesn’twash.OneofthechantsthattheBuddhahasususeasadailyreflectionis,‘I’mofthenaturetoage,I’venotgonebeyondageing,I’mofthenaturetosicken,I’venotgonebeyondsickness,I’mofthenaturetodie,I’venotgonebeyonddying.Allthatisminethatisbelovedandpleasingwillbecomeotherwiseandwillbecomeseparatedfromme.’Thelastpart,onkamma,says,‘I’mtheownerofmykamma,heirtomykamma,bornofmykamma,relatedtomykamma,abidesupportedbymykamma.WhateverkammaIshalldo,forgoodorforevil,ofthatIwillbetheheir.’Sothatisthefundamentaltruthofnature–thatwereceivethefruitsofouractions,andit’souractionsofbody,speechandmindthatdesignateourwell-beingoroursuffering,thatdesignateourrebirthaswellasthequalityofbeingfrommomenttomoment.Thisisjustafundamentalprincipleofnature,despitethevariousexcusesorrationalizationsthatwecomeupwith.

SkilfullyOfferingSupport

VenerableSāriputta’swayofteachingisquiteinterestingtomebecausehedoesn’tjustgotothebrahman’shouseandupbraidhim.Hejustasksquestions.Ofcourse,theyareskillfullyplacedquestions,verypointedquestions,andthebrahmanhasafoundationinfaith.VenerableSāriputtawouldn’taskafterhimifhehadn’thadagoodassociationwithhimandifDhānañjānididn’thaveafairlygoodfoundationinhisperspective,views,beliefsandtraining.VenerableSāriputtaisconcernedforhim,whichisanotheraspectofkalyānamitta.Askingquestionsislikeholdingupamirror;thebrahmananswersveryhonestly,andherevealsthetruthtohimself.

ThenVenerableSāriputtacontinues:‘Brahman,whichisbetter,apersonwholooksafterhisparentsinanunrighteousway,notaccordingtoDhamma,oronewholooksafterhisparentsinarighteouswayandinaccordancewithDhamma?’Thebrahmananswers,‘Well,it’sabetterpersonwholooksafterhisparentsinarighteouswayandinaccordancewithDhamma.’VenerableSāriputtathensays,‘Therearewaystolivethatareblameless;onecanavoidwhatisunskillfulandunwholesome,stilldoone’sdutyandalsobringbenefitsandblessingsintoone’sownlifeandintothelifeofone’sparents.’

Thenhegoesthroughthewholelistofpeopleagain.AndVenerableSāriputtaleavesitthere.Hedoesn’tpushthebrahmanatall;hejustleavesthebrahmantofigureitoutforhimself.Oneassumesthatthebrahmantookitseriouslyandchangedhisways.

Thesuttacontinuesonatalatertimewhenthebrahmanbecomesill.HesendsoneofhisservantstoinformVenerableSāriputtathatthebrahmanDhānañjāniisill,afflicted,ingreatpain,andmaynotlivemuchlongerandtorequestVenerableSāriputtatovisithim,whichVenerableSāriputtadoes.Hearrivesandasksthebrahmanquitedirectly,

‘Howareyoufaring?Areyouincomfortorindiscomfort?Areyourpainfulfeelingsincreasingordecreasing?Areyouabletobearthis?’Andthebrahmananswers,‘Basically,I’mdoingawful.It’sgettingmorepainfulandmoreuncomfortable.Idon’tthinkI’mgoingtosurvivethis.’

Again,asakalyānamitta,asagoodspiritualfriend,whensomebodyissick,onegoestovisitthemto

givethemencouragementandsupportbutalsotobequitedirectandopen.

Sometimes,somebodycanbeonhisorherdeathbedandlookingawful,andtherelativesshowupfromtimetotimeandsay,‘Oh,you’relookinggoodtoday,’andsoon.Theytrytokeepthebanterupbeatandgetoutasquicklyaspossible.Idon’tthinkthat’sparticularlyhelpful.Instead,toactuallysay,‘Yes,you’reinalotofpainanddiscomfort,thisdiseaseisprogressinglikethisandthat,andareyouabletodealwithit?Howcanyouworkwithit?’–that’shonestyastotherealityofthesituation,whichissomethingthatwegenerallyavoidinsociety.Itdoesn’tevenmatterwhetherit’sAmericansocietyorAsiansociety–there’satendencytoliveindenialofoldage,sickness,anddeath.It’sacommonthreadthatgoesthroughthehumancondition.

There’ssomethingreallyrefreshingabouttheBuddha’steachings,ashelooksquitedirectlyatthings–atageing,sickness,death,andsufferingindifferentways,intermsofbeinginadifficultsituation,beingblamedorcriticized,orfeelingoverwhelmed.Whenoneiswillingtolookdirectlyatthefeelingorthesituation,thecircumstances,andthewaythemindresponds–themoredirectlyoneisabletolookatthem,thelessthreateninganddifficulttheyactuallyare.Orlookingatone’sowndefilements,one’sowngreed,desire,lust,aversions,irritations,fears,viewsandopinions–ifoneisabletolookdirectlyatthem,theytendtohavelesspower.It’swhenweskipoverthemoraren’twillingtolookthatthey’retoointimidating,toothreatening.That’swheretheactualstrengthoftheDhammacomesfrom–fromourwillingnessandabilitytoapplymindfulnessandawarenessattheveryrootoftheexperience,atitsarising,atitsestablishing,tobereallypresent.Sothat’swhatVenerableSāriputtaisdoingbybeingquiteforthrightandsaying,‘What’stheexperience?Howareyoudoing,really?’

ThenVenerableSāriputtaasks,‘Well,whichismoredesirable,thehellrealmsorananimalrebirth?’Andthebrahmanreplies,‘Ananimalrebirth.’‘Andwhichismoredesirable,theanimalrealmortherealmofghosts?’‘Actuallytherealmofghostsisbetter.’ThenVenerableSāriputtagoesthroughtheascendingcosmologyofBuddhisminIndianculture,recognizingthedesirabilityofthehumanbirth,thedevarealmsandthentherealmoftheBrahmaGods.VenerableSāriputtathinkstohimself,‘ThesebrahmansholdrebirthintheBrahmarealmsandunionwithBrahmaasthehighestrebirth.’Heasks,‘DoyouwanttoknowthewaytounionwiththeBrahmaGods?’andofcourse,thebrahmansaysyes.

VenerableSāriputtathenteachesthebrahmavihāras:lovingkindness,compassion,sympatheticjoy,andequanimity–howtodevelopthemandestablishthemindintheserefinedqualities.ThenthebrahmanpassesawayandisreborninaBrahmarealm.

MakingConsciousChoices

Again,it’sinterestinghowVenerableSāriputtateachesintermsofquestionsandmakingchoices,becauseoftenthechoicesthatwemakearenotveryconscious.Byaskingquestions,onestartstorecognize,‘I’vegotachoicewhetherIletmymindgotowardswholesomeorunwholesomestates.’Andwhetheronebelievesinthecosmologicalstructureoftheuniverseoroneperceivesitinpsychologicalterms,westillchoosehowwedirectthemind.Doweletthemindgotowardssufferingandmisery,whichisequatedtoahellrealm?Doweletourmindsbeoverwhelmedbythebasequalitiesoffearanddesire,whichismorelikeananimalrealm?Dowegetcaughtupinasurastatesofmind,whichareindulginginangerandillwill,seekingpower,andfunctioningfromfear?Dowemakechoicesgoingtowardthehumanrealm,establishingthehumanqualitiesofempathy,

responsibilityandeffort?Ordowedirectattentiontotheheavenlyrealmsofblissandunalloyedhappiness?

Thesecanbedepictedandconceivedofaspsychologicalstatesorasactualrealms.Buthoweveroneconceivesthem,they’restillchoicesthatwemake.Dowetakeresponsibilityforthosechoicesordowejustdriftintothechoicesoutofhabitandconditioning?Areweblindlyledbyothers?Evenifwe’retakingresponsibilityforthem–arethosechoiceswiselyinformed?Aretheyclearlyconsidered?Byseeingthoseaspectsofmakingchoices,werealizethatourlivesareconfrontedwithmakingchoicesallthetime.Theresultofthechoicesthatwemakehasimplications.Whenwechoosetogetangryandupsetatsomething,ithasaresultpersonallyandithasaresultforthepeoplearoundus.Whenwe’reabletorestrainourselvesandmakeachoicetotrainourselvesinparticularways,particularlytowardsthatwhichisvirtuousandpeaceful,ithasresultsandimplications.Weneedtorecognizethatwe’remakingthesechoicesallthetime.

Asthesuttafinishes,theBuddhaisintheBambooGroveteachingandsaystothecommunity‘SāriputtahasletthisbrahmanbereborninaBrahmārealmandhasshownhimtheinferiorpathoftheBrahmāworld.’WeseetheBuddha’sabilitytoknowthemindofhisdisciplesandtorecognizethatifthebrahmanDhanañjanihadbeenencouragedtoreflectontheFourNobleTruthsorsomeparticularessentialteaching,hecouldpossiblyhaverealizedstreamentry.ButVenerableSāriputtahadn’ttakenittothatlevel.WhenVenerableSāriputtacomesback,theBuddharelatesthattohim;itwasabitofarebukeandanencouragementthatifthereistheopportunitytobringsomebodytoanunderstandingoftheDhammaratherthanalesserspiritualattainment,that’sthedutyofakalyānamitta.Onereadsthesuttaandhere’stheBuddhaknowingthethoughts,mind,andstatesofmindofotherbeings,evenwhilehe’ssittingandgivingteachings.It’s2500yearsagoandit’sutterlyfantastic.Isitpossible?Theseareabilitiesthatcomewithapurifiedmind.

IthinkofAjahnMun’sbiography,whenAjahnMunissittinginhiscaveinSaraburiandheturnshisattentiontohisfriendChaoKhunUpāli.HerecognizesthatChaoKhunUpāliisreflectingondependentoriginationandistrippinghimselfupwithaparticularperspectiveonit.ThenexttimeAjahnMunseeshisfriendinBangkok,hesays,‘Onsuchandsuchaday...’andlaysoutwhathadhappened.ChaoKhunUpālisays,‘Thatwasexactlyit,’andAjahnMungiveshimateachingonthenuancesofdependentorigination.AndjustthinkingofdependentoriginationremindsmeofwhenAjahnChahwassick.Bythatpointhewasn’tabletohelphimselfortospeak.AmonkcameandsatinmeditationtoseehowAjahnChahwasdoing.Hecameoutofhismeditationandsaid,‘Youdon’thavetoworryaboutAjahnChah;hismindisreallybright.Buthelikesreflectingondependentorigination,soit’dbeniceforyoutochanttheVipassanāBhūmi.’It’sachantonthebasisofinsightanddependentoriginationformsapartofit.Themonksaidthathe’dreallyappreciatethat.Andwedid–weendedupgoingeveryweekandchantingformanyyears.

Sotheseteachingsareillustrationsofkalyānamitta.VenerableSāriputtaactsasaspiritualfriendbyencouragingthebrahmannottobedishonestandcorruptandtoinsteadliveaskillfullife.Therefinementsofinsightandencouragementtowardsawakeningallrelyonspiritualfriendship.Butintheend,theyalsorelyontheindividualtomakeskillfulchoicesandtotakeresponsibilityforthosechoices.

Acceptance&Responsibility

FromatalkgivenatBodhinyanaramaMonastery,in2000

AjahnVīradhammo,originallyfromToronto,Canada,tookordinationatWatPahPongin1974.In1977hejoinedAjahnSumedhoattheHampsteadVihārainLondon,UK.Subsequently,hetookuptheroleofseniorbhikkhuatBodhinyanaramainNewZealandfor10years.Heispresentlythesenior

monkatTisaranamonasterynearOttawa.

“Oursenseofacceptanceandourcommitmenttogoodethicsarealwaysunderpinnedbytheheartoflovingkindness.”

RecentlyIwasspeakingaboutacceptanceasaspiritualquality.Acceptancecanbemisunderstoodifit’stakenasanabsolutesocialphilosophy.Itmightthenimplyastateofapathyorcomplacencywithnourgetoactforthegoodofoursociety.Instead,Iamspeakingaboutacceptanceasaqualityoftheheart.Thisqualityoftheheartexistsinthesocialcontextsofasociety,acommunityandafamily.Thesocialcontextdefineswhatissociallyacceptableandunacceptable.IliketocomparethesocialcommitmentofbeingaBuddhisttothatofbeingamemberofaguild.

Ifyouhaveaguildofmasterbuildersandbelongtothecraftspeopleinthatguild,youhavecertainobligations,certainskillsthatyouhavetodevelopbeforeyouareacceptedandaccreditedbythatguild.Yourworkhastobemaintainedatthestandardsthatallthemembersagreeupon;youhavetohaveacertainabilitytodoyourcraft;youhavecertainobligationstofulfilandstandardstouphold.Ifyoudonotmeetthosestandards,theguildwillstrikeyouoffitsbooks.Buttheguildwillalsoprotectyourinterestsanditwillencourageyoutosustaingoodstandardsorusebetterdesignsorwhatevermightbethecase.

MonasticismoranykindofBuddhistcultureislikethis.Itisanassociationofpeoplewhoundertaketoliveaccordingtocertainvalues,whoundertakealifestylecommitment.TheyundertaketheresponsibilityofbeingaBuddhist.Thiskindofresponsibilityorcommitmentgivesformtoourparticipationincommunityandsupportsallofusinourspiritualwork.

SupportiveStructures

Ourmonasticcommunityrecentlyobserved‘pavāranāday,’thelastdayoftheRainsRetreat.Wearetogetherforthethreemonthperiodofretreat,practisingmeditationandsharinginthegoodnessof

thissanctuary–allofwhichhasbeenmadepossiblethroughthegenerosityofourlaycommunity–andonour‘pavāranāday’weperformaceremonyhandeddowntousfromthetimeoftheBuddha.AllthemonksandnovicescometogetherinacircleandeachofusindividuallyrepeatsaphraseinthePalilanguagewhichroughlytranslatesas,‘ForanythingthatIhavedonewhichisagainstmyobligationsasaBuddhistmonk,whichiscontrarytothetrainingIamundertaking,pleaseadmonishmeorpleaseoffermesomereflectionorfeedback.’Thiscreatesanopening,aninvitationtohearhowweareseenbyourpeers.

Inourdailyformalpracticewealsousereflectionssuchas,‘HaveIusedmytimewisely?HaveIhonouredthealmsfoodofthelaypeopleandhaveIhonouredmymonasticrule?HaveIbeensensitivetomyfellowmonastics?’Allofthesearehealthyreflectionswhichhelpustorememberourheartcommitmenttothepathofpeaceandourcommitmenttohelpingeachotheronthisjourney.Ourlifeincommunityisthusatraininginbody,speechandmindwhichencouragesustoletgoofselfishnessandyetalsoencouragesustodoourownspiritualwork.

TheBuddhaandhisdiscipleswereunabletodesignasdetailedacodeoflifeforthelaityastheydidforthemonasticsbecausethelifestylesofthelaycommunityweretoodiverse.Thusthevariousteachingsonethicsandsocialcommitmentweregiveninthecontextofsocialstructuresthatalreadyexistedinthesocietiesofthosetimes.Forexample,ifacouplegotmarried,itwasamarriagerelationshipwithanotherpersonanditwasalsoamarriagethatbroughtthecouplewithinthecommunityofmarriedpeople.Theyweren’tanisolatedcouple;theywereacouplewhohadjoineda‘guildofmarriedpeople’.Andthatimpliedanobligation.Itimpliedamoralobligation,afamilialobligationandacommunalobligation.Thewholecommunityunderstoodthatobligation.Andsothewholecommunitycouldsupportmarriage,throughencouragement,throughadmonishment,throughhelpingintimesofsickness,andsoon.Thesekindsofsupportivestructuresarehardertofindinmodernurbansociety.Todaywemightask,‘Whatisapartnership?Isthereaguildofpartners?Whataretheobligationsinapartnership?Howisthatdefinedandaretherelike-mindedpeoplewhosupportsuchobligations?’Therearenoclearanswersandthisisaveryrealdifficultyinourculture.

ThemonasteryisavehicleforcreatingasupportivesocialenvironmentforourDhammawork.PeoplecomeonaSundayandmeditateandreflectonDhamma.We,asacommunity,asagroupofhumanbeings,canupholdcertaintraditionalvalues;wecanhonourthesevalues,andwecangiveeachotherfeedbackwhentraditionalvaluesarenothonoured,whenbehaviourbecomesunacceptable.Ifweseesomeonewhocomestothemonasteryandisabusive,ifweseeamonasticwhoisnotlivingbyagreedmonasticstandards,thenthatisunacceptable.Weneedtoexpressourdisagreementinanappropriatemanner.Atthesociallevelsomekindsofbehaviourareunacceptable.Ourdutyasmembersofthisspiritualcommunityistogotothepersonwhowefeelisnotlivingaccordingtoouragreed-uponstandards,whetheritisalaypersonoramonk,andsaythatwehavetotalkaboutthis,andtrytoresolvetheissue.Inneracceptanceallowsforclarityofaction.Ifwearenotawareofourinnerworld,theresultswillbeconfused.Weneedtoawakentoandhonestlyacceptourownpassionsanddefilementsofmind.Thisisaninnerobligationandcommitment.Self-righteousindignationisadestructiveenergywhichcanbeusedtojustifyanger,hatredandjealousy.Weneedthecouragetospeakoutwhennecessarybutwealsoneedthehonestytoknowourownfeelingsandintentions.

ReflectingonSensuality

InaBuddhistcommunitytheacceptedethicalframeworkisthefiveprecepts.Thethirdprecept,for

example,encouragesmoderationwithregardtosensuality.Thisisaverybroadpreceptwhichasksustoreflectonthewayweconductourselvesaroundsensualexperience.Specifically,itencouragesustobesexuallyfaithfultoourpartners.Adulterousrelationshipsarethusclearlyoutsidetheboundariesofthisprecept.Itisapreceptwhichdrawsveryclearboundariessothatanyoneinamarriageorinapermanentrelationship,oranyonewhoisengaged,oranyonewhoisunderage,oranyonewhoisamonastic,oranyonewhoislivingundertheeightprecepts–allofthesepeopleareoutofboundsintermsofsexualrelationships.Inobservingthisprecept,ourresponsibilityandourobligationistopromotetheharmonyofexistingsocialcontractsandtocareforthosewhoarenotofageorwhoarelivingunderrenunciantprecepts.

ThosewhoarecommittedtoareligiouslifebasedonBuddhistprincipleshavethesekindsofobligationstoeachother.Ifanyoneinourcommunity,beitamonasticpersonoralayperson,isnotfulfillingthisprincipleofimpeccabilityinrelationship,orifsomeoneisbeinginanywaypromiscuousorabusive,itisourdutyasacommunitytotalkaboutthat,toreflectonthat.Notinagossipingmannerbutinawaywhichhonourstheprecepts.Thisrequirescourageandcompassion.Itisakindofsocialactivism.Itmeansspeakingaboutthingswhichareimportant.Thiskindofhonestycanbeveryhelpfulifitisdonecorrectly,notfromself-righteousness,notfromanger,butfromthefactthatwehaveanobligationtothewell-beingofourcommunityanditsindividuals.TheonequalitytheBuddhacouldnevergoagainstinhisspiritualjourneywasthequalityoftruthfulness.Truthfulnessistheheartofthereligiouslifebecauseenlightenmentisabouttruth.

Freedomisabouttruthandsufferingisaboutignorance,aboutnotunderstanding.Ifthereissomeoneinourcommunity,beitinthemonasticcommunityorinthelaycommunity,whosemindisjustifyingimmoralbehaviour–it’sdangerousforthatperson.Unfortunatelywehumanshavetheabilitytorationalizeourdelusions.Wecanbeverycleverwithknowledgeandideas.Perhapswehaveallseenoccasionswhenonepersonistryingtoadmonishanotherandtheotherpersonisclevererwithlanguageandtwistsitallaround.Soclevernessendsupwinningthedayratherthantruthfulness.Wordsandlanguagearemanipulatedtosuitthedesiresandfearsoftheego.Itisaclevernesswhichhasthepotentialtodogreatharmtoaperson’sspirituallife.Preceptsandmoralguidelinesareacommonbodyofknowledge,acommonagreementofobligations.Whensomeoneisactinginawaywhichisbreakingapartexistingrelationshipsandtheyareusingsomekindofcleverlanguage,wecansay,‘Perhaps,butwhataboutthethirdprecept….’Itisimportantthatwehaveacommonbodyofknowledgesothattherearereferencesbeyondpersonalpreferences.

Forinstance,ourmonasticrulesareabodyofknowledge,availablenotonlytothemonksandnunsbutalsotothelaity.Inanon-Buddhistculturemostlaypeopledon’tunderstandthemonasticrulesbutinBuddhistAsiapeopletendtobefamiliarwiththemandeveryoneknowsthemonasticandlayboundaries.Whentheboundariesaretransgressedthenthereisaskilfulreferencepoint,abodyofcommonagreements.Thishelpsboththoseinpositionsofauthorityaswellasthosewhoseekguidanceandleadership.Sometimesteachersstepoutsidetheboundaries,outsideoftheconstraintsandobligationsthathelpthemreflectontheirresponsibilities.Thiscanleadtosituationswhereateachergetslostinselfishdelusionsandgetsburntout.Teachersandleaderswillsometimeslosetheplotandblunderintoareasofconfusion.Theygetlostintheirownover-estimations.If,however,thereisaculturalknowledgeofboundaries,rolesandexpectations,itismoredifficultforteacherstofollowself-deceptions.Theyneedprotectiontoo,don’tthey?Weallneedprotection,weallneedhelpbecausedelusionisthere,anditdeludesusintodoingunskilfulthings.

CultivatingHarmlessness

Contemplatingthefirstprecept,thepreceptonnotharminglivingbeings,weseehowdifficultthatis,hereinNewZealand.TocreatetheKaroriandKapitibirdsanctuariesmanypossums,rats,catsandstoatsendupbeingkilled.Iftheseanimalsarenotkilled,thenativebirdsdieoff.Whattodo?Onethingwecandoistomakesurewedon’tthrowoutthefirstprecept.Ifsomeonefeelstheyhavetotransgresstheprecepttheymustthinklongandhard,reflectingonthenecessityandvalueoftakinglife.Thentheymustberesponsiblefortheirdecisions.If,however,thepreceptiscompletelythrownout,itiseasyforattitudestoarisethatdismisscertainformsoflife.Theanimalandplantrealmsarethenconsideredpurelyintermsofhumandesiresandhumaneconomiesratherthanintermsofcompassionandcare.

Haveyoueverperceivedaspiderasapet?Childrendothiseasily.Haveyoueverchangedyourperceptionsfrom‘thisisauselessthing’toactuallylookingatananimalwithempathy,seeingitisasentientcreaturethatistryingtobehappyinitsowninterestingway?Thiscreatesanentirelydifferentrelationship.Itisquitebeautiful.ItcansoundveryutopianandimpracticalbuttheBuddha’steachingencouragesustocultivateaheartofloveandturnawayfromtheheartofalienation.Yes,weneedtoprotecttheenvironmentfromnoxiousweedsandsoforthbutlet’snotbrutalizeourmindswithinsensitiveandviolentattitudes.

StandardsofImpeccability

Thesecondpreceptisaboutnon-corruption:Iundertakethetrainingruletorefrainfromtakingthatwhichisnotgiven.Inourmonasticrulewehavevariousrefinementsaroundthisbasicprincipleofnotstealing.Forinstance,ifsomeonegaveamonkavaluableobjecthereinNewZealandworth$1,000andthenthemonkwenttoCanada,byCanadianlawthatarticlewouldhavetobedeclaredandcustomsdutiespaidonit.Butifheweretotakethatobject,putitinhiscarrierbagandwalkthroughwithoutdeclaringitatthecustomsdesk,fullyknowingthathewastryingtoevadetaxes,themonkwouldhavecommittedanoffenceof‘defeat’.Thisisknownasapārājikaoffence.Whenamonkhascommittedapārājikaoffencehehastodisrobe–veryserious.Thatkindofcheatingwouldbeanimpedimenttohisspirituallife,sotherulehelpshimtobeverycareful.Beingcarefulinthiswayleadstoamindwhichisfreefromremorseandself-hatredandfreeofthefearofblame.

Thesepreceptspointtoasenseofimpeccabilityasthestandardofthespirituallife.Theethicalteachingsencourageustounderstandthelawsofthelandandtosupportthoselaws,becauseifwedon’t,whowill?Thisisourcommitmenttocommunity.Itisnotjusttakingtheeasywayoutorjustgoingwiththepopularmoodoftheday,‘Well,everyoneelseistakingthingsoffthebackofthelorry,whynot?Theofficehaslotsofstationery.’Amindwhichfollowsdishonestybecomesamindwhichisafflictedbyguilt,fearorarrogance.Itisnotanimpeccablemind,notamindthatisgoingtoexperiencethebeautyofapeacefulheart.

BenefitsofRightSpeech

Thepreceptonspeechisausefulmirrortohelpusnoticethemotivationsandintentionsthatliebehindourwords.Wrongspeechislying,swearing,destructivegossip,andstupidtalk.Rightspeechisspeechwhichistruthful,speechwhichisbeautiful,speechwhichisharmoniousratherthandivisive.ItisspeechwhichaccordswithDhamma.WhentheDalaiLamacametoNewZealandhiswordsweretremendouslyinspiringforsomanypeople.Ontheotherhand,whenwehearsomeone

speakingwithaheartofhateandcrueltyitcanbeverydisturbing.Speechisverypowerfuleitherforthegoodofoursocietyorforitsdetriment.Withthepreceptsthemselves,wecan’talwaysgetitright,butspeechwhichistruthful,speechwhichisbeautiful,speechwhichisharmonious,speechwhichisaccordingtoDhamma–RightSpeech–wecantakethatintoourheartsandminds.

Byreadingandcontemplatingaprecepteverydayforsomeextendedperiodoftime,thatpreceptbeginstoechoinourminds.Andifwearetalkingwithsomeoneanddiscoverourselvesdistortingthetruth,exaggeratingitorcoveringitup,thepreceptawakensuswiththequestions:‘WhyamIdoingthat?WhyamIlying?WhydoIneedtodistortthetruth?’Itawakensustothetruthofourmotivations.Butifwehavenoclearethicalboundariesormoralstandards,wecanslideintounwholesomeandunskilfulbehaviourthatisharmfultobothourselvesandothers.Thepreceptsthusbecomeawaytoprotectusfromtheinnerurgesofinsensitivityandselfishness,urgeswhichweallexperiencebutwhichonlybecomeharmfulwhenwebelieveintheirvoices.Usingthepreceptsinthiswayweareabletoaskourselves,‘Whataremyintentions?’IfIambeingmanipulativewithsomeoneorIamtryingtocoverupsomethingthatI’vebeendoingorIamjustexaggeratingtomakemyselflookbetter,whereisthatcomingfrom?Isitcomingfromfear,fromgreed,orfromsomeotherunskilfulplace?Andwhat’stheresultofthat?Istheresultgood?Istheresultpeaceful?Istheresulthappy?WhenIspeakinthisway,ismymindconfused?

Ontheotherhand,whenweencouragepeople,whenwearesensitivetothem,whenwetellthetruth,whenweareabletoownuptoourmistakes,whatistheresultofthat?Isthatagoodresultorabadresult?Rightspeechthusbecomespartofthepathtofreedom.Thisisnoteasy.Mostpeoplefinditdifficult.Wecaneasilybelievedeludedprojectionsanddismisssomeonewithinsensitivityandunkindness.Orwecanbelieveinsomepettycomplaintandthenpokesomeoneinaheartlessmanner.Orwemightfeeljealousofsomeone’ssuccessandtearthemdownbehindtheirbacks–somanywaystoclosetheheartandgetlostinwrongspeech.Theempathyandloveintheheartgetsmotheredandweendupfeelingmoreandmorealienated.

TheWayRequiresFocus

Thepreceptondrugsandintoxicantsisobviouslyveryimportant,becauseatrulyreligiousandspiritualliferequiresintelligenceandfocus–bothofwhichareharmedbyalcoholandvariousrecreationaldrugs.Wearenotaskedtoadoptapuritanicalattitude.Ratherthisprecepthelpsusreflectonwhyweturntothesethingsandwhateffectstheyhaveonourlives.Dothesethingsmakeusbetterpeopleandmoreresponsiblemembersofourcommunities?Andwhataboutourpooroldbodies?Isitakindnesstofillthebodywithvariouschemicalsforthesakeofmomentarypleasureorfortheneedtoescape?

SotheframeworkforaBuddhistguild,areligiousguild,isthefiveprecepts.Eachoneofusisslowlyrefininganddeepeningouruseandunderstandingoftheprecepts.Forexample,thepreceptonharmlessnessnotonlyencouragesustolivealifeofnon-violencebutalsoalifeofcompassion.Weworktowardsadeepeningofthatpossibility.MuchofBuddhistsocialphilosophyisbasedonempathy,whichhelpsliftusoutofselfishnessandself-obsession.Whenwehaveachancetogivetosomeoneandwefeelthejoyofhelpingandcaringforsomeone,thentheyareactuallygivingusalot.It’sanirony,isn’tit?Ihavesometimessaidtocoupleswhohaveadoptedababythatthebabyisveryfortunate.Theyinvariablyanswer,‘No,no,wearetheluckyones.’

GivingLifeMeaning

Weonlyhaveabout100yearstoliveonthisplanet,80to100maximum.Whatisthepurposeoflife?Ifwecandosomethinggoodforoursociety,forourplanetandthebeingsonit,thatgiveslifemeaning.Ifthatisthebasisofoursocialphilosophy,wecanseemoreclearlyourownmanipulativenessortherationalisingofouractionstojustifyselfishends.Whenharmfulimpulsesarisewelearntobepatientandnotfollowtheseenergies.Butwealsocultivatewholesomestatesofmind,encouragingcompassionandkindnesstoblossominourhearts.Thisisalovelyprocessinthespirituallife.

Theadvancesinscienceintermsofmedicalandagriculturaltechnologieshavecreatedacomplicatedarrayofmoraldilemmasthatdidn’texistatthetimeoftheBuddha.Forinstance,whatistheBuddhistpositionongeneticengineering?Whereisthatcoveredinthefiveprecepts?

Itisimportantthatourheartsandmindsbefreedfrompersonalagendasbasedongreedandarrogance.PartofRightSpeechmightthenbetheabilitytodebatetheissuesthatarise,toparticipateintheprocessofeducationthatourwholesocietyisundertaking.Thiswouldimplyapersonalcommitmenttobecomeinformedabouttheissues–andthentothinkverycarefullyhowonefeelsabouttheminthelightofone’sownethicalstandards.Wewouldhavetherequisitequalitiesofheartandintelligencetoenterintodiscussionandmakeameaningfulcontributiontothemoraldirectionofoursociety.Inaguildofcraftspeoplethereareresponsibilitiestoupholdthestandardsthatareencouragedbytheguildbutalsotherearethejoysofcreatingsomethingofbeautythatisanexpressionofone’scraft.Inthesameway,ourBuddhistcommunityhasstandardsthatweshouldlivebyandencourageineachother–butthereisalsotheexpressivepartofourbeingwhichisapartofthecraftorartofliving.Togivesomethingofoneselfforthebenefitofotherbeingsistrulymarvellous.

AttimesourBuddhistemphasisonthepracticeofawarenesscansoundasthoughweareconstantlythinkingaboutourselves;averyuninspiringwaytolivethislife.IfI’vegotnothingtogiveto,nothingtoserve,noonetolove,noonetocarefor,lifeisn’tbalanced.Theotherextreme,ofcourse,istobesooutthere,socaring,solovingthatIendupinhospitalwithanervousbreakdown.Weneedthebalanceofloveforourselvesaswellastheloveofothers.

Perhapsthen,thedeepeststandardthatourBuddhistcommunitycanencourageisquitesimplyloveforoneanother.Oursenseofacceptanceandourcommitmenttogoodethicsarealwaysunderpinnedbytheheartofloving-kindness.

InNewZealand

ContextofMeditation

AdaptedfromatalkgivenBodhinyanaramaMonastery,NewZealandin2010

AjahnTiradhammowasborninCanadain1949,tookupasampadāatWatMeungin1973andstayedatWatPahNanachatuntil1982.HewasatChithurstMonasteryfortwoyearsandtheninchargeofHarnhamVihārauntil1987.HethenhelpedestablishDhammapālaMonasteryinSwitzerlandandstayedthereasabbotuntil2005.AjahnTiradhammoiscurrentlytheabbotatBodhinyanarama,NZ.

“Atruesignofstabilityinpracticeisaheightenedsenseofpersonalandsocialconscience.”

ThesedaysitappearsthatmoreandmoreofusarebecominginterestedinBuddhistmeditation.Whilethisisagoodsigninitself,itisimportanttounderstandthatmeditationisonlyoneaspectinthewidercontextofBuddhistspiritualpractice.Manypeopleinnon-Buddhistcountries,fascinatedbymeditation,mayleapintointensivemeditationwithoutrealizingthelongtermeffectsofawrongapproachtopractice.Theresultofan‘outofcontext’approachtospiritualpracticeisthatitcanleadtoanunstable,disintegratedordisembodiedspiritualitywhereonlyasmallareaofoneselfisbeing(over)‘spiritualized’.Wecanbecometoofixatedonmeditationexercisesasanendinthemselvesorbecomeover-focusedonmeditationtechniques.Aftersometime,practice‘driesup’asitisnotbeinginvigoratedbydeeperunderstanding,re-adjustmentofaspirationsorintegrationwithournormalbehaviour.

Itshouldberecognizedthatspiritualpractices,andespeciallyconcentrationexercises,canhaveastrongeffectonourpsyche.Thusweneedtobevigilantinhowwenoticethevarioustwistsandturnsrequiredalongtheway.Fortunately,asinterestinmeditationincreases,thereisalsoanincreasingamountofpersonalexperienceavailablefromthosewhohavebeenmeditatingfordecades.

Stability

Itshouldbeclearthatspiritualpracticeisnotthemagicalremedyforemotionaldistressormentaldisorder.Insomecasesitcanleadtopsychologicaldisintegrationandmayevenbeacatalystforlatentpsychosis.Agoodgroundinginspiritualpracticeisprobablythebestpreventionforseriousmentaldisorder,butnoabsoluteguarantee.Thusareasonablystableemotionalandmentallifeisanimportantfoundation,especiallyforundertakingsomeoftheintensivespiritualexercises.Ifseriousissuesdoarisethenassistancebymentalhealthprofessionalscanbehelpful,orsometimesjust

loweringtheintensityorchangingthemeditationobjectcanallowforamorewhole-someworkingthrough.

Unfortunately,manyofusimagine‘enlightenment’tobesomeexceptionallyecstaticexperienceoftruth-revealingbliss.However,thepurposeofspiritualpracticeisnotaboutexperiencingspecialorunusualmentalstatesbutratherseeingrealityasitreallyis.Whilealteredstatesofconsciousnessmayoccurasaresultofmeditationexercisestheycanalsobeasourceofmentaldistressandemotionalimbalanceiftheyariseintensely,suddenlyorunexpectedly.Inmeditationwesetupthemindful,observingfaculty.Thus,whateverarises,beitattractiveorrepulsive,rapturousorterrifying,weviewassimplypassing,ephemeral‘mentalphenomena’(sabhāvadhamma).

Mindfulnessexercises,firmlygroundedintheimmediacyofdirectexperience,arerelativelysafetodevelopunsupervised.Concentrationexercises,however,shouldonlybeseriouslyundertakenwithinthecontextofarelationshiptoateacher.Themindcanbecomeverycentredandsharpasaresultofspendingmanyhoursfocusinguponameditationobject.Howeverthisfocusedattentioncanalsoslipawayfromthemeditationobjectandbecomepreoccupiedwithwhateverismostprominentinthemind.Distressingthoughts,memoriesormoodscanappearintensifiedoramplified,andonecaneasilybepulledintotheirpower.

Also,sincetheapparentcalmandpeacewhichcanarisefromconcentrationexercisesisanexperienceconditionedbythetimeandeffortweputintothatexercise,thefeelingofpeacecanveryeasilyevaporateassoonastheexerciseisover.Thiscanleaveusfeelingunfulfilled,disappointedanddespairing,sometimesdoublycompoundedfromhavingtheoldragingmindbackaswellashavinglostthedeepcalm!

Ourfascinationwithalteredstatesofconsciousnesscanthusbearecipeforemotionalinstability.Wearetossedaboutbyourmoods–elatedwhenweare‘high’anddistressedwhenwearedown.Asignofmaturityinpracticeiswhenwecanpatientlyobservethepassingshowwithadegreeofdisinterestandequanimity–thesearealljustchangingmoods.

Thebestwaytoachievestabilityistocultivateaskillfulwayoflife.Formallythiscomesunderthecategoryof‘skillfulliving’(sīla).Althoughusuallytranslatedasprecepts,sīlaliterallymeans‘habits’.Followingpreceptsor‘guidelinesforskillfulliving’isahelpfulbeginning,however,transformingguidelinesintowholesomehabitsrequiresdeepself-knowledgeor,ineverydayparlance,‘characterbuilding’.Weneedtobeabletohumblyacknowledgeourdigressions,makehonestadjustments,thenwiselyandpatientlyre-alignourselveswithskillfulstandards.Intheprocesswenotonlylearnaboutthenatureofourwaywardnessbutalsocometoappreciatethebenefitsofuprightness,integrityandfreedomfromremorse.AsAjahnChahsuccinctlyexpressedit:‘Dowhatyousay,saywhatyoudo,otherwisetheycallyouacorruptsage.’

Itisthroughregardingspiritualpracticeasaskillfulwayofliferatherthana‘quickfix’thatweprepareourselvesforthelonghaulbyworkingonastable,well-groundedfoundationforthewholeproject.Ifspirituallifeisnotbuiltonasolidfoundationthenitisnotonlyunstablebutalsoindangeroftopplingoverintomentaldistress.Lifeisintrinsicallyspiritualsointegratingspiritualpracticeintolifeallowsafertilenourishingandawakeningofthefullnessofourbeing.Atruesignofstabilityinpracticeisaheightenedsenseofpersonalandsocialconscience(hiri-ottapa),anevennessoftemperamentandanincreasedinterconnectedcompassionforallbeings.

Integration

Thecorrectattitudetopracticeismostimportant.Manypeoplenewtomeditationbringwiththemego-based,high-mindedidealsandprinciples.And,whilethisisoftenthebestwecando,themosthelpfulattitudeistoseethisasanopportunitytotransformthoseidealisticconceptsintodirectexperience.Ratherthanalwaysweighingupexperienceintermsof‘howitshouldbe’,wecanbegintorelatetoexperienceas‘howitis’or‘justthis’.Ourneat,shinyidealscanthusbetemperedbythebumpandgrindofordinaryreality.Thedirectexperienceof‘justthis’alsobringsusintotheimmediacyofthepresent,whereasidealsarealwaysinthefuture.

Themostperniciousidealis,ofcourse,attainingawakening.The‘rightattitude’forspiritualpracticeisoneofrelinquishment,givingup,surrender,andlettinggo.Anyattempttoattainorgainismorefuelforselfhood,andthussubjecttofailure.Insteadofchasingsomeimageofawakening,weawakentothesufferingofgraspingatselfhood.

Alessloftyidealispractisingto‘feelgood’.Whileperfectlyunderstandable,wantingtofeelgoodisnotonlyunrealisticbutalsodangerous,asitinevitablyinvolvesagooddealofrepression,avoidanceordenial.Thus,followingthisstrategyisreallyjustaspiritualizedformofsensualindulgenceandleadstoaspiritualdeadend.Theironyisthatinordertofeelwellinthehighestsensewemustmindfullyengagewithsufferingtouprootitssource.

Asubtlebutveryimportantattitudetobevigilantaboutisdissociation.Adissociativeattituderesultsfromconceivingspiritualpracticeassimplysomeformofdirectescapefromsufferingratherthanameanstoawakentothetruthofsuffering.Thuswemaytryto‘spaceout’inmeditation,‘blankout’disturbingthoughtsorsomehowtranscend,transpose,supplantourpainfulsenseofselfwithsomehigherreality–theUltimateTruth,theTrueSelf,Awakening,etc.Whileitsoundsexceptionallynoble,withoutcarefuldirectionitcaneasilybecomeameansofsimplydissociatingfromourselfratherthanawakeningtoit;justameansoftemporarilynumbingawaythepainfuldysfunctionundertheguiseofhigh-mindedspiritualconcepts.

Therealpurposeofspiritualpracticeistocreateaconduciveinternalenvironmentinordertorelaxthegraspingofself-identityandexposeitsfundamentalconditionednature.Thisrequirestheabilitytocarefullyassociatewithit,notdissociatefromit.Manytimesspiritualpracticeisseenassomethingquitetheoppositeofnormal,everydayliferesultinginadisintegratedsenseofself.Wetrytobe‘spiritual’todealwithourtroublesbut,intheprocess,createa‘spiritualself’atconflictwiththeoldself.

‘Spiritual’means‘wholeness’,ratherthandefiningsomeexalted,higherrealmhoveringbeyondtheclouds.Thiswholenessthusneedstoincludeeveryaspectofourbeing,everypartofourself,andmostparticularlythosepartswhichwenormallydefineastheleast‘spiritual’.Itisthedarknesswhichneeds‘enlightening’.

Aparticularexpressionofthisattemptat‘spiritualizing’isanattitudeof‘disconnection’fromthemundaneworld.Thiscanbeade-sensitizingfromsenseimpressions,abelittlingofnormalhumancommunication(andretreatintoa‘criticalsilence’),disregardforappearanceorcleanliness,over-emphasisonsolitude,andcreatingapersonaofunworldliness.Whilequiteimpressivetosome,itisusuallyindicativeofa‘tuningout’ordisconnectionfromrealityratherthanaheightenedawarenessoflife.

Oneofthebiggestmistakesintakingupspiritualpracticeistryingtogetridofsomeaspectofourselves.Acommonquestionis:‘HowcanIgetridofmyanger?’Everythingwebecomeconsciousofispartofourselves,andanyattempttogetridofitcanleadtoasplittingoffordisintegrationofthatpartfromthewhole.Spiritualpracticeisreallylearninghowtobetrulywholeorwhollytrue,learninghowtointegratealltheaspectsofselfandnon-self,whichcanonlybeaccomplishedona‘higher ’,moreinclusivelevelofconsciousness.

Theparadoxisthatbytryingtogetridofanythingweactuallyconfirmit,graspitandempowerit.Theattitudeofrejectionconfirmsthatitissome‘thing’wehavetoconfrontand,inordertopushitaway,wemustfirstgraspholdofit.Thus,inactuality,denyingbecomesaffirming,pushingawaybecomesholdingonto–allfundamentallyself-affirming,ineffectualactivities.ThewayofBuddhistspiritualpracticeistomindfullyinvestigateandopenuptothesedisturbinginfluencestodiscoverwhattheyreallyare–ephemeral,insubstantial,conditionedprocesses.Infact,wereallyonlybegintounderstandtheBuddha’steachingwhenweshiftfromobject-orientedconsciousnesstoprocess-orientedconsciousness.

Anotherpointtowatchoutforisover-relianceonourstrengths.Ofcoursewegetsomepay-offfromourstrengthsandsuccesses,andwehaveaninherentdesiretoignoreandavoidourweaknesses.However,over-dependenceuponourstrengths,inthelongterm,endsupwithanimbalanceofspiritualqualities.Ihaveseenindividualsverytalentedinoneareabeingunderminedbytheirweaknessesinothers.Therearethosewhocanbeveryenergeticbutlacktranquillity;somemaybegiftedatconcentrationbutnotskilledatinvestigationofphenomena.Itisthusimportanttorecognizethevalueofbalancingspiritualqualitiesandputsomeenergyintolevellingoutourstrengthsandweaknesses.

EmbodiedSpirituality

Perhapsasaresultofearlyconditioningmanyofusthinkthatthebodyanditspassionsaretheoppositeofspirituality,andshouldbesuppressed,ignoredorside-stepped,givingrisetoa‘disembodiedspirituality’.Thistendencyiscompoundedbythefactthatmostofusaresopreoccupiedwithmentalactivityandhaveanaversiontophysicalpainthatwehavealatentbiastowardsdisembodiment.Thisissupportedbyanattitudethat‘It’sallinthemind’,sowecanforgetthebody.

Itisafact,however,thathumanlifeisdependentuponthisearthboundbody.Itisnecessarytolivewithitinawisewayratherthanthinkthatwecansimplybypassit.ThebodyisactuallyoneofthedoorstoAwakeningthroughwhichwecanhaveaprofoundrealizationofimpermanence,unsatisfactorinessandimpersonality.TheBuddharecognizedthiswhenhedesignatedthefirstoftheexercisesinthedevelopmentofmindfulnessasbodyawareness.Spiritualpracticewhichisnotwellgroundedinthebodyisnotanchoredinthisworld.Itisthusmind-heavyandindangeroffloatingoffintoimagination,fabricationandsuppositionwithnomeansforanintegrativerealitycheck.

Someofthesespiritualwobblesmayariseonlyafteryearsofpracticeasthelackofstability,integrationandembodimentstartstotakeeffectthroughyearsofneglect,ignoranceordenial.Someindividualsmayhaveyearsofmeditationpractice,profoundmeditationexperiencesandevensomesortof‘enlightenment’,andyetbeseriouslyblindtothedarknesswhichstillpervadeslargeareasoftheirpsyche.Sometimes,therefore,itcanbequitehelpfultohavethesetendenciespointedoutforus.

SpiritualSidestepping

Inthebeginningstagesofpracticeoneofthemostcommonsymptomsis‘SpiritualSidestepping’.Onemodeofthisoccursonoccasionswhen,ifourownpracticeisnotgoing‘accordingtoplan’,thenitisobviouslythefaultoftheteacher,teaching,ortraditionratherthananythingtodowith‘me’.Wethenpackitinandlookelsewhere,anywhereexceptwithinourselves,‘What,mewrong?’Thuswecanlayblameforourlackofsuccessontheabsenceof‘conduciveinfluences’.Andwhilethereissomethingtobesaidfor‘shoppingaround’forsomeformwhichsuitsourtemperament,theworkreallybeginsandendswithourselves.Itisbesttotakeresponsibilityforourpracticeandnotblameoutsideforcesorabdicateourpowertoteachers.

Amorerefinedexampleofthisisputtingallourhopeinsomeparticularpracticeortechnique.Techniquescanbehelpfulatcertaintimesandforcertainpurposes,however,theyarestillconditionedphenomena,somethingwhich‘Ido’.Andeventuallythiswillbeco-optedintotheserviceof‘doingI’.Oncethishappensthetechniquebecomesaself-serving,mechanicalritualconvincingusthatwearespiritual.Becominganadeptatsomespiritualexerciseasanendinitselfmissesthepurposeofspiritualpractice.

Perhapsthemostdangerousanddamagingdisplayofspiritualsidesteppingisthe‘CharismaCharade’.Someonemayhaveagiftforteachingorgivingretreatsorexhibitinggreatcompassion.Itisthennaivelyassumedthattheymustbeagreatly-attainedbeing,wheninfacttheyaremerelyexpressingsomeparticulartalent,awell-honedskilloraspecialtechnique.Becauseofourtendencytoeschewresponsibility,weareinclinedtoinviteotherstodoitforus,andeasilyfallforthehookofcharisma.Itisonlywhenweactuallylivewiththemday-inandday-outthatthe‘charade’isfinallyexposed.Thisusuallyentailsmuchdisillusionment,disappointmentandpossiblyseriousdistress.Wethendirectourfrustrationsattheteacherratherthanhumblyacknowledgethatwe,more-than-likely,weregivingawayourspiritualpowerthroughfalseprojections.Anearlysignofthistendencyisexcessivedevotiontoorenthusiasmforateacher.Thiscanquicklysourintorejectionandcriticism.Whereasifweareabletomerelyappreciatetheirspecialabilitiesorwhattheycanteachus,thenwecanstillfeelasenseofgratitude,evenwhencracksdoappearinthefaçade.

AnotherphenomenacommoninBuddhistcirclesiswhatIcallthe‘Anattāshuffle’.Thiscanbeseeninthosewhoareeither(too)well-readinBuddhistteachingsorwhoarewell-practiced,butnotwholly-practiced.TheyknowabouttheprincipleofAnattāasnon-self,however,havenotfullyintegratedit.Thustheyoftenexhibitsomeverystrongandpronouncedselftraits,suchasrigidviewsandopinions,yet‘shuffle’itoffwithhigh-mindedconcepts:‘Itsallempty.’,‘Thereisnoself,’etc.Otherscanplainlyseetheego-display,yettheactorremainsoblivioustoit!Andallinthenameofprofoundspiritualteachings....‘Yes,thereisnon-self,butwhataboutthatverypronouncedselfexpressingit’?Thissortofshufflingbetweenrelativeandultimatetruthswheneveritsuitsourfancy,whichisthesamethingasegoneeds,notonlyproducesmuchconfusionandspiritualdishonesty,butcandeludeoneintoafalsesenseofaccomplishmentwhiletheegograspingisstillbeinggenerouslynourished.

SpiritualBypassing

Averysignificantphenomenawhichisbecomingincreasinglyrecognized,andhasbeenarticulatedbyJohnWelwoodandothers,isthephenomenonof‘SpiritualBypassing’.Thisiswhereunderlyingpsychologicalissuesare‘bypassed’throughtheuseofspiritualpractices.These‘egoissues’arenot

actuallyresolvedandinevitablybegintosurface,oftenafteryearsofadvancedspiritualpractice,andsometimesevenmoreempoweredbythatpractice.

TheBuddhatellsusthattherightpurposeforspiritualpracticeistounderstandtheFourNobleTruthsofsuffering,itscause,itscessationandthepathtocessation.Thisadvicedirectsustolookattheverythingsdistressingusratherthandistractourselveswithspiritualdiversions.Muchofoursufferinghasrootsinourearlydevelopmentalyearsandthuspracticeslikecultivatinggratitudetoourparentsandfriendlinesstowardsfamilyandfriends,mayhelptobuffersomeofthemoreextremeexpressionsofearlydisturbances.Mostimportant,however,istheattitudeofopeningtooursufferingratherthantakingaspiritualbypass.

Oftenthereissomepredominanttendencywhichforcesusintospiritualpracticethroughitsdisruptingeffects.Asweworkwithitinsomeformorotherwemaybeunawarethatthereareactuallyanumberof‘latenttendencies’stilllurkingwithinthepsyche.Thus,forexample,wemaybedevelopingfriendliness(mettā)tohelpusworkwithanger,butthenthisfallsintothelapoflust,andwefindourselvesstrugglingwithattraction.Therearethosewhohavetriedmeditatingontheunattractivenessofthebody(asubha)tohelpcounterstronglustbutsubsequentlycreatedaversiontowardsthebodyratherthandispassion.

Anotherveryimportantpoint,whichhastakenmanyyearstorecognize,istolearntoworkwithourtendenciesratherthanagainstthem.Althoughatfirstglancethismayseemlikeaffirmingourtendencies,infactitisclearlyacknowledgingtheirexistence,thenfindingtherelevantmeanstoharnesstheirenergywithwisdom.Whatwerecognizeasunskilfulisactuallyjust‘lifeforce’gonetoxic.Throughtappingintotheirrootsourcewecanthenchannelortransformthisenergyinamoreskilfulway.

SpiritualizedDysfunction

AphenomenonwhichAjahnChahreferredtois‘Dhammacrazy’.ThishappenswhensomeonehassomeinitialinsightsintoDhammaandthen,intheirenthusiasm,beginsateachingcrusadetospreadthemessage.Ifspiritualinsightsarenotwellintegratedthenoftentheycanbetakenoverbythehabitualself-affirmingtendencies.Thismessianiczealisthusdrivenbyego-activityandcomesacrossastooexuberant,forcefulandexcessive.AjahnChah’sadviceifonehasthisailmentis‘Don’tteach’.

Amorewellknownphenomenoniswhereateacherwithsomegiftsofpresentationcancharmotherswiththeirperformance.Becausetheyarepraisedforthisability,theteachercanmistakethisprojectionforsomeformofaffirmedspiritualaccomplishmentandconsequentlybecomeself-inflated.Thisthendevelopsintoacodependentrelationshipwheretheteachercharmsthestudentsandthestudentslaudtheteacher.Wheresome(dependent-types)hearself-awakening,othershearaverybig,inflatedego.

Someindicationsofthisinflationarespeakinginabsolutesoroversimplifications,entertainingthemasses,anover-extollingofone’sownvirtues,andanexcessiveneedtobeacknowledged.Inhighgearitbecomesself-righteousdefensiveness,irrationallogic,fear-mongeringandparanoia.

TheCompletePath

TheBuddhaarticulatedthewayofspiritualpracticeastheEightfoldPath,sometimesgroupedintothreeparts:understanding(rightpurposeandrightattitude),skillfulliving(refiningbehaviourinspeech,actionandlivelihood),andmeditation(energy,mindfulnessandconcentration).Therightpurposeofspiritualpracticeistoclearlyanddeeplyunderstandsufferinginordertoseeandreleaseitsunderlyingcause.Therightattitudeisoneofrelinquishment,non-illwillandharmlessness.Buddhistspiritualpracticeonlyreallyhappenswhenallthesepartsharmonize.Iftheyarenotcompleteorwell-integratedthenthereisthepossibilityofadisintegratedspirituallifeandevenpotentialpsychologicalproblems.Thusweneedtobeveryvigilantandadaptabletoourchangingspiritualenvironment.

LotusontheHighway

FromapublishedaccountofatudonginNewZealandin2008

AjahnChandakowasbornin1962inMinnesota,U.S.A.HewasordainedasaBuddhistmonkin1990inthelineageofAjahnChahandeventuallysettledatWatPahNanachat.In2005,AjahnChandakowasinvitedtostarttheVimuttiBuddhistMonasteryinNewZealand,whereheisnowtheabbot.

“Asasweet-smellingandbeautifullotus,pleasingtotheheart,maygrowfromaheapofrubbishdiscardedalongthehighway,soadiscipleofthefullyawakenedoneshineswithwisdomamongthe

rubbishheap...”Dhammapada58,59

Nestedinpiledbalesofhayandwrappedinthebrownclothoftheiraspirations,theircross-leggedposturesofuprightsilencereflectedthestillnessoftheday’sgoldenbirth.Itwasnotnecessarytoringabelltoendthemeditation.Withoutawordtheystirred,shiftedandmadepreparationsfortea.Thiswasaritualeverybitaswell-wornandcomfortableasthepatchedandfadedcottonweaveofanoldforestrobedyedwiththeheartwoodofajackfruittree.

Thedayofferednearinfinitepossibilities.GoldenBaywasostensiblyourgoal.Onatudongwithnofixedplans,GoldenBaywasthegoallessgoal.Neitherofus,however,hadeverseenitdirectly.Wedidn’tknowforsurethatitexisted.Itseemedreasonablethatitdid.Othershadspokenofseeingitthemselves,praiseditsunique,serenebeautyanddescribeditasgreathappiness.Themapsthathadprovenreliableinthepastindicatedthatitlaytothenorth.GoldenBaywasthekindofplacethatpeopletravelforlongdistancesinordertosee.Therewasacertainfascination,amystiqueandapromisethatonceyouwerethere,everythingwouldbealright.Itwasashorelinebeyondtheproblemsoftheworld,andtherehumansufferingcametoanend.Itwasasymbol.Itwasanarchetype.Andinthatsenseitneitherexistednornon-existed,butitmanifestedasaconceptualrealityofhopeandhumanpotentialwherethefruitsofahundredthousandobstaclesovercomealongthewaycouldbesavouredinthequietvictoryofsoberrelease.GoldenBaywasadirectioninwhichwecouldorientthecompassofourwholesomeintentionswithinthedizzyinglandscapeofincomprehensiblekammicpossibilities.Andourpathwasleadingirreversiblyinthatdirection.

Wemighttakethelongway.WemighthavetobacktracktoWestportandfollowthehardpavedroadofpredictablyneatwhitelines,theeasyandroundaboutrouteofhighways,fossil-fuelvehiclesandgood-naturedtourists–theonlysensibleway.Orwemighttakethewildernessroute.Thatdecision

wasbeyondourcontrol.Wewereabsolutelyopen.EvenifweneverreachedGoldenBayinourlifetime,wewerewillingtoacceptthat.Butourmotivationswereclear.

Wepacked.Werespectfullyreturnedeachbaleofhaytoitsoriginalposition.Weleftnotrace.Webegantowalkandourstomachswereempty.

Threekilometrespassed:kilometresoffarmfields,cows,aguesthouseandtheoddperson.Thekidsbehindthewindowsoftheschoolbusofferedustheirenthusiasticfacesandwavesofcuriousappreciation.Itwasabeautifulmorning.

WewerethefirstcustomersofthedayattheKarameainformationcentre.Wereadtherelevantpamphlets,foundthedescriptionsofthepossibletrailsaheadandcommittedtomemorythedetailsofimportanttopographicalmaps,atleastasthoroughlyasourmiddle-agedbrainsallowed.ThedirectroutetoGoldenBaywastheHeaphyTrack.TraversingKahurangiNationalParkatthenorthwestcorneroftheSouthIsland,theHeaphywas82kilometreslongandrequiredfourtosixdaystocomplete.Furthermore,itwas15kilometresfromKarameatothetrailheadand28kilometresfromtheendofthetrailtothenearesttinytownofCollingwood.

Asmonkswecouldcarrynofood.Ourmonasticdiscipline,theVinaya,clearlyprohibitedstoringfoodovernight.Whateverfoodwasofferedtousinthemorninghadtoberenouncedbymidday.TheHeaphytrackwasdevoidoftowns,privatehomes,placestobuysuppliesoreventheslightestaromaofacafétoprovideafocusforanalmsround.Formonkstoevenentertainthethoughtofthatrouteasapossibleoptionwouldnormallybeseenasoutsidethescopeofreasonableconsideration.

Thewarm-heartedlocalstaffattheinformationcentreansweredourquestionsgraciously.Theyallowedustostowourbagsbehindtheircounter,freeingustowalkunburdenedonwhatwasmostlikelythefirstalmsroundofKarameanhistory.TherewerenosupermarketstochoosefrominKaramea.TherewerenoThairestaurants,meditationcentresordiscernibleAsiancommunities.Itwasasmall,slow,weatherbeaten,one-storysprawlofarelaxedtownshipattheendoftheroad.Thefewfunkytouristcafesweresleepilyunresponsive.Weknewthelikelihoodofgettinganythingtoeatthatdayratedfromslimtounpredictable,butwehadknownthatallalong,andthethoughtdidn’tbotherusgreatly.

Withmeasuredpacewewalkedthetown’sfewstreetsandeventuallyarrivedattheplayingfieldoftheKarameaDomain.Ononesidewasasmallcampground,andtheonlyvehicleinthatcampgroundwasthevanthathadgivenusaridethedaybefore.InamomentwefoundJulesandKarina,andtheyinvitedusintothecampground’shomeycommonroom.Oneofthetwoproprietors,avibrantelderlywoman,discoveredusstraightaway.

‘MyTaiChiteacherwasaBuddhistmonk!’Pippiexclaimedwiththetypeofexcitedenthusiasmofsomeonewhowasabouttoshowyousomelarge-heartedkindnessandcare.JulesandKarinaquicklycluedintothemeaningofalmsroundandthoughtfullyoffereduscoffeeandtoast.PippialertedherpartnerJoe,whoafteralltheseyearsinNewZealandhadneverlosthisScottishaccent.Joeofferedusthemuchneededuseofthecommunalshowers.AlthoughourtoiletrieswerebackattheInformationCentre,wewereabletofindsomedishwashingliquidtosquirtonourbodiesandanoldteatoweltodrythem.

Theyofferedmoretoastandwedidn’trefuse.JulesandKarinainquiredofourplans.Wesaidwe

didn’thaveanyfixedplans.Weaskedthemoftheirs.TheysaidtheywerethinkingtodrivetothetrailheadoftheHeaphytracktodoadayhike.TanMettikoandIlookedateachother.

‘Whenareyouleaving?’

‘We’dliketogetgoingsoon,asit’salreadylateinthemorning.

Youcanjoinusifyouwant.’

MettikoandIlookedateachotheragain.

‘Iguesswe’redoingtheHeaphytrack.’

Thatdecidedit.Whenweexplainedthatourintentionwastonotmerelydoadaytrip,buttohiketheentiretrail,J&Kwerekeentotakeustothetrailheadandjoinusforthefirstlegofthetramp.Whenweexplainedthatourintentionwastohiketheentiretrailwithouttakinganyfood,PippiandJoehadalookofdubiousconcern.Theygaveusmoretoast.MettikoandIweren’tnaïveaboutwhatweweregettinginto.Weknewthathikerswouldbecarryingjustenoughfoodfortheirownneeds,soitdidn’tseemfairtoexpectorevenhopethatanyonewouldfeedusalongtheway.Weagreedthatwewouldnotgoonalmsroundwhileonthetrail,notsitbyanyofpublichutswithourobviouslyemptybowlsinourlaps,notstandholding‘starvingmonkswillchantforfood’signsandnotevenhinttootherhikersthatwewereshortofphysicalnourishment.

Wehadareasonableassessmentofourcapabilitiesandlimitations.AsprainedankleI’dsprainednearthebeginningofthetriphadstillnothealed,butIknewifIsteppedmindfullyandplacedmyweightproperlyitwouldholdup.Ourfootwearonlyofferedmodestsupport.Tevaswithneoprenescubabootieswerethelightweightcompromisethathadserveduswellinawidevarietyoftudongsituations.Althoughwedidn’thavetheburdenoffood,wehadtheaddedextraweightofourunusuallowtechmonasticparaphernalia:largesteelbowls,heavywoodenandbambooglotes1andouterrobesofdenseandweightycotton.Wewerekeenlyawareofthechallengesahead,butwewerealsorealisticaboutourstrengthsandinnerfortitude.Truthis,wewerelookingforwardtotestingourselves.

Neitherofushadanyrealdoubtthatwewouldeventuallymakeittothefarsideofthetrack.Thebigquestionwashowlongitwouldtakeandtheratioofpleasuretopainthatwouldbeexperiencedintheprocess.Andthiswasabigunknown.Andforusthiswaswhattudongwasallabout.Thisfearofanunknown,uncontrolledfutureandtheaccompanyingprojectionsofinsecurityaretheself-imposedjailscreatedwithinamindboundbytheworld.Butseeingthroughthecementblocksofworryanddissolvingthebarsoflimitingthoughtconstructionsweremajorreasonswhyweweremonks.

Committedandincarceratedbytheconfinesofourseen,unrecognizedorunacknowledgedfears,wemayneverknowtruefreedom.Wecaneasilyjustifynotsteppingoutfromthesafegroundofthefamiliarandthesociallyacceptedintothewideforestofpotentialgrowth.Wecaneasilyrationalizeplayingitsafeandnottakingrisks.Fearcanstopusfromfollowingourhearts.Fearcanleadtowheel-spinningstagnationasyearspassuntilourinspirationtofollowourdreamshasbeenreplacedbyaheartfullofregrets.IntheprocesswecanmissoutonthebestlifehastoofferandendupforsakingaltogetherthefurthershoresofGoldenBay.

Ifweweregoingtofaceourfears,therewasonlyonetimetodoit.

PippiandJoe’swellplacedconcernmanifestedinencouragingustoeatwhateverfoodwefoundinthecommunalrefrigeratorasourlastforeseeablesupper.Whatremainedintherefrigeratorconsistedofwhitebread,peanutbutter,lettuce,atomato,margarineandasmallcubeofcheese.AstheJ&Kvanwasreadytoroll,wequicklyandgratefullytookuptheofferandhastilypreparedafewveryweirdsandwiches.Pippimadeuspromisetoemailherfromthefarsideofthetrack,ifwesurvived.

Onourwaytothetrailheadwepickedupourpacks,andasitwasnearingmiddayweateourpeanutbutter,lettuceandtomatosandwichesinthebackofthevan.WithacoupleofapplestossedtousbyJules,ourfastfoodhappymealwassufficienttosatisfyhalfourappetite.

ThetrailheadwasawellkeptparkofwindsweptPohutakawatrees.BytheKohaihaishelter,anunknownhikerwhohadcompletedthetrailintheoppositedirectionhadkindlyleftbehindagoodwalkingstick.Iaskedthestickifitwouldn’tmindaccompanyingmeonareversejourney,anditagreed.Howmanytimesthisparticularstickhadbeencarriedbackandforththelengthofthetrailwasanotherimponderable.

WeplungedintothelushnativebushofKarakaandubiquitoustreeferns.Thewide,wellmaintainedtrailsencouragedenjoyableDhammadialoguefuelledbyJulesandKarina’sthoughtfulquestions.Afteragoodcoupleofhours,crossingtheKohaihaiRiverandstoppingatanoccasionalblufflookoutprovidingextensiveviewsofthecoastahead,wearrivedatlong,broadbeachesofinvitingwhitesand.ThispromisedtobeaperfectplacetoreflectcontemplativelybythewavesasJ&Khadtheirpicnicbeforeturningback.IncertainscenicNewZealandlocationshowever,itisprudenttoreflectcontemplativelyataratherrapidclipandrememberthatallpromisesaresubjecttofleetingconditions.Aftera90secondgraceperiodtheairbornedivisionsofthetinysandflymovedinfortheiraerialstrike.

AttheinformationcentreinKaramea,amongthemanydozensofpamphletsonvarioussubjects,wefoundonelamentingtheenvironmentaldemiseoftheendangeredWestCoastSandfly.Admittedly,IwashalfwaythroughreadingitbeforeIcaughtonthatitwasactuallyacraftilywritten,tongueincheek,roguepamphletthathadbeensnuckinamongthebonafideliterature.Alarmedthatsurveysofsandflynumbersindicatedadropintheirpopulationtoapproximately10billion,thewittyauthorsofferinformationonsandflynaturalhistory,sandflyspotting,recognizingthemarkingsofsubspecies,propermedicaltreatmentshouldyougetbitandwhatwecanalldotoensurethatthissociableandfriendlyNewZealandiconwithsuchastrongaffinityforpeoplewillbearoundforfuturegenerationstoenjoy.

TanMettikoandIdecidedthatcontemplativereflectioncouldhappenjustaseffectivelyinamobileposture.Withgreatappreciationfortheirhelpandkindness,webidfarewelltoJulesandKarinaandcontinuedupthecoast.

WepassedthroughmagicalforestsofNikauPalms,NewZealand’sonlynativepalmtree.Theforesttothesideofthetrailwasaburstinggreenmatofthicklywovensubtropicallushness.Largeglossyleaves,intertwiningvinesanddampconditionsrevealedanenvironmentburstingwithlife.WedrankwaterandsatatKatipoCreekshelter.Aswecontinued,thecoastbecameincreasinglyrockyandwavepummelled.Gentlestretchesofsandgavewaytothehardandjaggededgesofacoastlinethat

regularlyenduredapoundingfromcoldwavesandwindsthathadgainedmomentumfromsomedistantorigin.

Ataparticularlybeautifulcoveofcraggyrocksandswirlingcurrentswecameuponabronzeplaqueplacedinmemoryofagroupofyounghikerswhohadbeensweptouttoseadecadesbefore.Visualisingtherangeofemotionsthatthoseyouthfultravellersmusthavefelt–fromtheinitialexcitedplayfulnessandnaturaljoyoftheirentryintothewater,totherefreshingcoolnessofthesurf,totheterrorofbeingdraggedandpushedoutoftheircontrolandtothefinalmomentsofalifecutsounexpectedlyshort–wasateachingthatencapsulatedsomuchofwhatourexistencehastooffer.Wechantedashortblessing.Continuingnorthwiththebeautifullyvibrantandpulsatingfecundityofungovernedgrowthtoourright;withtheequallystunning,barestarknessofrockandwater ’sveiledthreatofdeathtoourleft;wewalkedasilentnarrowpathofbalancebetweenthetwo.

Bylateafternoonwewerenearingour20thkilometreonfoot.Thefuelgarneredfromourpeanutbutter,lettuceandtomatosandwichhalfmealwaswearingthinandnoenergywaswastedonspeech.Theskylookedthreatening,anditbegantorainhereandthere.Wehadbeentoldthatcampingwasfreeandallowedifonewas500metresfromthetrail,butaswesearched,wefoundlittleopportunitytoentersidewaysthroughthedensethicketsofbush.

Atdusk,withheavydarkcloudsoverhead,weemergedfromtherainforestatthemouthoftheHeaphyRiver.TherewasanofficialDepartmentofConservationhutwithbunks,woodenstoveandsink,butaswehadnomoneyforahutpass,wehadnorighttomakeuseofthehut.However,wedidfindasmallwoodenstructurenearbywithcoveredbenches.Therewerenopeopletobeseenexceptforanoccasionalsilhouettewalkingthedistantsandybanks.Thebencheswereplentywideforsleeping,sowestrungourlinesthroughthebeamsandboardsforhangingourglotesanddryingourwetclothes.Withinourmosquitonetswemadeourbedsandneatlyarrangedourgear.Itwasfinallytimefortea.

WethenwalkedtowheretheHeaphyRivermettheTasmanSea.Inanotherofnature’sbattlesofconflictingforces,thefreshwaterofpuremindwasdeterminedtoflowouttothefreedomofexpansion,whilethesaltywavesofdefilementdidtheirdamnedesttoforceitbackintothehills.Darkstormcloudswereapproachingfromthewest.Fiercewindscutthroughourrobesandfuelledever-largerwaves,butthemovementofthepurewaterrefusedtobediscouragedortostop.

Followingusbacktothecoveredbench,darknessthenencompasseduscompletely.

Weweresoreandtiredbutpleasedtobewherewewere.Webothhadbeenontudonginthepastwithmonksornovices,sometimeshalfourage,whowouldcomplainandworryandwhingeateveryencounterwithdiscomfort.ForalongtimeIhadappreciatedTanMettiko’sfortitudeinmaintainingequanimityandacceptance–oratleastsilence–inthefaceofhardship,anditseemedtobetherighttimetoexpressmyappreciation.

‘Wehavebeenontudongformanyweeksnow,experiencingavarietyofconditions.Thankyoufornevercomplaining.Iappreciatethat.’

‘Thankyouforyourexampleinupholdingtheforesttudongtradition.Iappreciatethat.’

Mutualappreciationestablishedandconfirmed,wemeditatedinthewindydarknessuntilthetimewas

rightforsleep.

Afterword

Afterfourdaysofwalking,rain,ice,awidearrayofhumanencountersandnoalms-round,thepairoftudongmonksdideventuallyarriveatGoldenBay.

1glote:anumbrellawithamosquitonetthattraditionallyservedasatemporarydwellingforforestmonks.

BranchMonasteriesWesterndisciplesofAjahnChah

Theportalpageforthiscommunityworldwideis:www.forestsangha.org

UNITEDKINGDOM:AmaravatiBuddhistMonasteryGreatGaddesden,HemelHempstead,HertfordshireHP13BZ.Tel.Office:+44(0)1442842455Fax.+44(0)1442843721RetreatCentre:+44(0)1442843239www.amaravati.org

ArunaRatanagiriHarnhamBuddhistMonasteryHarnham,Belsay,NorthumberlandNE200HF.Tel.+44(0)1661881612Fax.+44(0)1661881019www.ratanagiri.org.uk

CittavivekaChithurstBuddhistMonasteryChithurst,Petersfield,HampshireGU315EU.Tel.+44(0)1730814986Fax.+44(0)1730817334www.cittaviveka.org

HartridgeBuddhistMonasteryOdleCottage,Upottery,Honiton,DevonEX149QE.Tel.+44(0)1404891251Fax.+44(0)1404890023www.hartridgemonastery.org

SWITZERLAND:KlosterDhammapalaAmWaldrand,CH-3718Kandersteg.Tel.+41(0)336752100Fax.+41(0)336752241

www.dhammapala.ch

THAILAND:WatPahNanachat,BahnBungWai,AmperWarin,Ubon34310.www.watpahnanachat.org

AUSTRALIA:EastWarburton,Vic3799.Tel.+61(0)359665999Fax.+61(0)359665998

NEWZEALAND:VimuttiBuddhistMonasteryPOBox7,Bombay,2343(SouthAuckland).Tel.+64(0)92366816www.vimutti.org.nz

BodhinyanaramaMonastery17RakauGrove,StokesValley,LowerHutt5019.Tel.+64(0)45637193www.bodhinyanarama.net.nz

UNITEDSTATESOFAMERICA:AbhayagiriBuddhistMonastery16201TomkiRoad,RedwoodValley,CA95470.Tel.+1(707)4851630www.abhayagiri.org

CANADA:TisaranaBuddhistMonastery1356PowersRoad,RR#3Perth,OntarioK7H3C5.Tel.+1613-264-8208www.tisarana.ca

ITALY:SantacittaramaLocalita‘LeBrulla’,

02030FrassoSabino(Rieti).Tel.+390765872186Fax.+3906233238629www.santacittarama.org

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TableofContentsSeeingTheWayVolume2

CopyrightPrefaceIntroductionInEurope

TheDhammaisRightHereInvincibilityWhatYouTakeHomeWithYouRadiantNon-BeliefForgivenessAsubhaPracticeRadicalPurificationRightOrientationBenevolenceTheWayofBeingContented

InThailandTheWorldFaresAccordingtoKammaWalkingMeditationintheThaiForestTraditionTheRealPracticeChantingasaPractice

InNorthAmericaSpiritualFriendshipAcceptance&Responsibility

InNewZealandContextofMeditationLotusontheHighway

BranchMonasteriescreativecommonsbackmatter