sample copy. not for distribution. · „har har mahadev‟ each and every one of us is a god. we...

Sample Copy. Not for Distribution.

i

Heart & Soul A Frantic Adventure of Intertwined Spiritual &

Love Life.


ii

EDUCREATION PUBLISHING

Shubham Vihar, Mangla, Bilaspur

Chhattisgarh - 495001

Website: www.educreation.in

__________________________________________________

© Copyright, 2018, Kaushik Gorai

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a

retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form by any means, electronic,

mechanical, magnetic, optical, chemical, manual, photocopying,

recording or otherwise, without the prior written consent of its writer.

ISBN: 978-1-5457-1368-6

Price: ` 330.00

The opinions/ contents expressed in this book are solely of the authors

and do not represent the opinions/ standings/ thoughts of Educreation

or the Editors . The book is released by using the services of self-

publishing house.

Printed in India


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Heart & Soul A FRANTIC ADVENTURE OF INTERTWINED

SPIRITUAL & LOVE LIFE.

Kaushik Gorai

EDUCREATION PUBLISHING (Since 2011)

www.educreation.in


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„Believe in the gods, don‟t rely on them‟

„Har Har Mahadev‟

Each and every one of us is a god. We hold the

mantle to a successful life in our own hands.

Ultimately, we take the decisions.

Life is a long journey, which can be cut short any

moment.

Wake it worth!


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Acknowledgments T

No matter what I achieve in my life, everything is down

to my parents. My father has been my backbone in

everything I have done. I can never complain I had a

childhood where I haven‟t got what I had asked for.

Whatever I wanted was in my hand the very next day.

My mother is more like a best friend to me. I will of

course mention she is the best mother but also the cutest.

Having her signature bear hug and flying kisses after

every day‟s work really works as the perfect energy

booster for me. I couldn‟t have asked for anything more

from them. I love you both!

My elder brother, Kunal. What could have I done

without you? I will always be your shadow and I will

proudly admit it. You are a man of fine quality, brilliant,

intellectual, smart and practical in every possible way.

You always helped me take the right decisions in life. To

all the success I hope to achieve in my life, you will hold

the credit. He is my superhero, it is because of his

sacrifices that I am here writing this book. I hope

everyone gets a brother like you, and to the ones who

already have an elder sibling, congratulations, you are in

a good way. I love you more than anything in this world!

My bhabhi, Neena. You are the strength to my

strength. I am blessed that my brother and you chose

each other as life partners. There was no one else who

could have made it better. I am sure you will have a

similar impact in my life just like my brother does. I love

you!

My cousin brother, Abir, Subhadeep, Bivash,

Subham and our only sister Anushka. The eldest among

us, Abir, always believed I would do something great in


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life. I enjoy spending time with you each and every time

I visit Kolkata. I cannot explain how much I am eager to

meet you all again.

My mentor, Purnima Ma‟am & Suresh sir (Credit

for the poem: Rendezvous with Love goes to him) . It‟s

rightly said so, each student will come across a teacher

who would influence him or her. I can proudly say that

you have been that teacher in my life. I regard you as my

„Second mother‟ just because the things you have done

for me.

Its said friendship is the best relation a person can

have, it never matters the quantity, and it‟s always about

the quality. And I have the best quality in that regards.

Kuldeep, Rahul, Suraj and Savio. My team, family,

brothers. I can call them anything but there is no word

which can explain their support towards me. Having a

philosophical friend in a group can be tiring sometimes,

and I appreciate you guys to put up with me for so many

years. Each and every one of them in their own way has

made me better. I love you guys!

Of course I needed help with this book. I would like

to give special mention to Diksha; she helped me with

the character names and the first person to read the book.

If there is anyone else apart from my family who

believes in me more than I do, it‟s her. There were times

when I doubted myself, but she always filled me with

confidence and made me aware that I matter.

My childhood friend and also an author, Jyoti. She

helped me with her valuable advices about book writing

and my philosophical partner. Time flies when we speak

to each other.

Anam, my brilliant colleague and such a hard

worker. I always tend to forget things and important

tasks. She made it a point to remind me about it. That is


ix

why I call her my notepad. She helped me with few plots

of the story and in return I advised her on her real life

situations. It was the best deal I ever made in my life.

Thank you for your contributions.

Making the cover was not an easy task; I would like

to thank Prajakta, Mansi, Keeya and Shreyas for their

help with the cover. The front cover was clicked in „The

Brew Corner‟ in Vasai Road. I thank the owner and the

staff for their support and patience while we struggled to

take the perfect picture.

My group of office colleagues, I always wonder if

everyone were like you guys this world would have been

so much better to live. To all other colleagues and

managers of mine at Merit, you guys are the best.

I also owe gratitude to each and every other person

who I have the privilege to know and I wanted to point

out that you all have influenced my life in some or the

other way.


x

T There is a question which has always occupied one part

of my mind. Why do we fear death? Who knows what

happens after we die? Isn‟t it possible that life after

death could be more enjoyable? Something extra

ordinary?

Isn‟t it possible that Death is just another way of life?


xi

Supernatural, just like the mysteries of our infinite

multiverse, or origin, our creators is still unanswered. That

is the best thing of humans, what we cannot answer, we

speculate. Many people have their own thinking, their own

opinions, most of them differs because every person thinks

differently. But what does actually happen after someone

dies? And who decides when their time on this world is

drawn to an end? To be honest, an accident can take a life

of someone, but that similar accident with someone else

can have severe implications to that person but not

necessarily be his last breath. Who decides this? Who

decides how long we are going stay in this world? It's very

deep isn't it? Well I feel myself very privileged to have

acquired such a curious mind that I want to get to the end

of these questions. I am not a normal person who indulges

himself with the 'normal' problems what other people seem

to have. However, no offense to them, as mentioned earlier

that everyone differs in their thinking and so do I. Just one

in among billions.

When asked does god exists? Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev once

very brilliantly answered, "People who believe in god and

people who don't believe in god are on the same boat."

Both those groups support such a theory which they both

have no practical knowledge or any means to prove their

point. How do people prove there is god? How do people

prove that there isn't any god? Ultimately, same boat. I

bow to Sadhguru's immense knowledge and wish to reach

that level myself one day in life.


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The point I want to draw from this arguement is, just like

people who believe that god exists and people who believe

otherwise are same, can we not apply the same logic on

spirits? It's true right? This arguement is just the mirror

reflection of those about the gods. Few people claim to see

them and hence support their existence, people who haven't

do not support their existence.

I do believe the creation of this worlds, universe and

everything beyond it is completely scientific. It's a mixture

of Physics, Chemistry, Biology and other factors which

shaped this universe. But even then I do believe in the

existence of gods and spirits. I don't claim to see neither of

them, but I do believe that there is a force beyond our

understanding, who stay just among us, their lives just like

us but vastly different are present all around us, and that

force is supernatural.

Just like our birth was a mixture of deep ends of biology,

our living body willingly accepting the physics and

chemistry while walk on the Earth, our death too is just the

mixture of all these combined. To be informed, I have

mentioned these three factors repeatedly because I am

certain of their involvement, but there are many other

factors as well for sure. Death too, comes the similar way

as comes life. Birth requires good luck to accompany it and

death requires bad luck to accompany it. But back to my

main question, what comes after death?

The next journey begins. What is it? How can we know

while we are still breathing?


Kaushik Gorai

1

Chapter 1

T “Okay, I will see you tomorrow!” Surya said inserting his

key into the bike. “Yeah, I will let you know if I am free.” Aman waved.

Surya started his bike with the self start button and raced down the road soon vanishing from the point where he stood couple of seconds ago. His house was just 4

kilometers away from the spot he had just came to meet his friends. A little high and dizzy due to his recent session of few pegs of whiskey with his friend maybe was a bit too

much, earphones stuck in his ears and loud music playing from his phone‟s media it was easy to say he was in his

zone. He believed he was in the state to drive without any problem, and to be honest he was. Overtaking one car after another, he looked at his speedometer and his bike had just

touched the speed of 60 kmph. He looked up and a dog jumped on to the road and into his path, he applied the brakes but the distance was too less and the sudden braking

made his tire skid and made a loud screeching sound but he was able to balance himself somehow and slowed his speed and stood at the roadside few meters away. His heartbeat

was high and he looked at himself to see if he was really alive, taking a few minutes to catch his breath and be

normal again he once again thought of starting his bike. He kept his hand on the handle and was about to start his bike when voices of many people drew his attention behind him.

He saw many people had gathered around behind him where he applied the break.

„Did I kill the dog?‟ He thought.

Suddenly getting off his bike he walked behind into the crowd of people, his attention focused on what was

laying beyond the people occupied most of his thoughts. By the time he had reached the crowd few people had left and he had a clear way, walking towards the center he looked


Heart & Soul

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and was stunned at what lay in front of his eyes. His dead body lay in front of his eyes, skull cracked open, multiple

deep scars all over his body and his bike half over the divider and half on the road, his leg was twisted, clearly indicating a completely dislocated knee stuck in the back

wheel. The dead body of the dog bearing the heavy tire mark over his weakened and abnormally thin neck, it was

sure that both of them had died on the spot. He felt warm as his eyes popped open, looking aside

to the other people he yelled at each and every one of them.

“Can you see me?” He yelled to a person standing just next to him. He did not respond, nor did he saw towards him. Scared, he turned to the women to his other side and

yelled again. “Can you see me?”

“Can anyone see me?” “What is happening?” He yelled. An ambulance raced down from the wrong side of the

road, there was a hospital just few meters away from the spot. It screeched to halt and two people dressed in light blue cloth exited the vehicle and pulled a stretcher from

behind. They placed the stretcher beside his body and tried to pick up what remained of his body. The blood had by

now flowed to the edge of the road due to the slope. “Wait! Where are you taking me? I am alive!” He

yelled.

There was no one who could hear him and his body was soon kept over the stretcher and pushed inside the back of the ambulance. It drove off before Surya could look up.

The dead body of the dog and the blood which oozed out of his wounds remained on the road. The crowd of people soon vacated the spot and went on their own ways before

the distraction stopped them. He stood there feeling as alive as he always had.

Trying to gather his thoughts he narrowed his eyes, but he couldn‟t concentrate on what he actually wanted to think. He tried hard to focus, to think of at least something,

at least his next body movement but it was proving


Kaushik Gorai

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extremely hard and he just couldn‟t do it, blinking his eyes constantly he looked around and he had forgotten the name

of the place. He turned around and no matter how hard he tried he just couldn‟t recollect the name of the place he has been staying for the past 10 years.

“Mom?” He whispered. He closed his eyes to remember the way to his home, but couldn‟t locate his

house in his mind. “Mom?” He whispered a bit louder this time. To his

surprise there wasn‟t any face coming in his mind. Usually

when we think of someone, our mind immediately displays his or hers picture in our mind, but this wasn‟t happening to him. Soon, the memory of him just dying in an accident

had also been wiped of his mind. „How did I get here?‟ He tried to recollect but he

couldn‟t even remember that he just died few minutes ago in an accident at that very spot.

„What should I do?‟ He thought. Exiting the spot he

walked away to the empty road that was just in front of him. He didn‟t remember who he was, where he lived, where he was and where he was going. It felt like a loop.

He walked ahead looking at the road unaware of the couple approaching him from his front. His body went through the

women and he immediately turned around to apologize. “Oh I just felt so cold!” She exclaimed to the man. “I am so sorry madam; I didn‟t mean to do this.”Surya

turned immediately and tried apologizing to her. “Cold? Are you serious?” The guy laughed. She looked around, tensed. Her skin folded on her

forehead. “I don‟t feel good here, let‟s leave.” She said and they

both walked fast away from Surya. He stood behind and

heard their conversation but couldn‟t understand anything. He slowly turned around and started walking again

slowly and ultimately picking speed walked faster and faster with every step. After walking for few minutes he looked ahead and saw a man walking towards him, he

decided to go through him purposely this time and see what


Heart & Soul

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happens, walking fast he was just few steps away from the man. The person approaching towards Surya smiled and

took a step aside at the last minute to avoid colliding and walked past him. Surya was shocked and immediately he turned around and saw the man standing behind him

smiling. “You can see me?” Surya asked.

“Yes, I can.” He said smiling wider. “But others cannot.” “It‟s because you are dead.”

“Does that mean you are dead too?” “No, but I can see dead people.” The stranger laughed. “Who are you?” Surya enquired.

“I am Kiaansh, and you are?” He stepped in front. Surya looked below to remember his name but he

could not recollect. “I thought so.” Kiaansh came further close to him. There were a few minutes of silence; the noise of the

wind blowing the leaves of the trees filled the silence. “Come walk with me.” Kiaansh requested as he

started walking ahead. Surya looked at him but could not

understand what he wanted to do, so he followed him instead.

“What is this?” Surya was terrified. “This is your soul, your spirit. You have a physical

body when you are alive.” He hit his chest with his closed

wrist twice. “But when you die, your soul and your physical body

are separated.” He looked at him.

“What now?” He asked Kiaansh. “Now one part of your life‟s journey is completed.

Now you have to move on to the next journey.” He

explained. “How do I do that?” The question made Kiaansh stop

on his feet suddenly. “Do you remember anything what and who you were

before?” He asked.


Kaushik Gorai

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“No, nothing. I don‟t know. No matter how much I try…”

“It‟s okay! You are not meant to remember it anyways.” Kiaansh interrupted him midway.

“Then? What‟s wrong?” He yelled.

“Give it some time.” Kiaansh whispered and started walking ahead.

Surya looked at him curiously and again followed him.

They walked for few minutes silently, without saying

anything to each other. Kiaansh held his smile the whole way. He looked at his reflection on the road the streetlight made and felt amused at the fact that there were actually

two people walking but only one shadow was visible. Deep into his usual thinking and the mystery of what happens

after the spirit begins its next journey always appealed a great deal of thought from him.

“Listen…” Kiaansh suddenly looked aside to ask him

a question. But there was no one beside him. He stopped and

looked around to search for him but Surya was nowhere to

be seen. “Good luck on your next journey brother, you are a

pure spirit.” He whispered and walked away. After 15 minutes, he reached home and unlocked the

door and went in, closing the door behind. He unbuttoned

his first few buttons of his shirt and fell on the sofa in an instant.

He looked at the table in front of him and there were

few blank sheets of paper kept around the tea table. He took a deep breath before gathering some energy

to stand up again and looked to his left to his dining table

where he just kept his bottle of water which he had just filled to drink. He got up and picked up the bottle and a

glass and sat back on the sofa. The leather sofa made noise to his every body movement. He poured himself a glass of water and collected all the papers and made a bundle of it

and kept it on the writing pad. A pen rolled outside from


Heart & Soul

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underneath a paper and he caught it before it fell of the table.

He sat up straight and positioned himself to write, playing with his pen in his fingers he gave some hard thought to what he could write. He looked at his table once

again there was a bottle of Whiskey kept in the middle of it. He got up and walked towards it and poured a little

whiskey in to his glass and filled the remaining portion with water and returned the sofa and started writing.

‘Rendezvous with love’

Moonlit is your face, dipped in intense ecstasy, Turning red, my heart goes still, for you my love, Burst like a nimbus, upon the blazing fire,

Else I would shun, in a demon‟s attire.

Passion still soaring higher than ever, If couldn‟t be now, then wouldn‟t be ever, Millions of rivulets, swaying into their

wildest desire, And getting submerged into a Titanic together.

Get held against my chest,

Let‟s fall again and sail abreast, Come close my moon, will possess you from those countless gazing stars.

None would scare; as I am your scepter and I am your benevolent mars.

Engulf into my grip and let me hold you tight, Let‟s drown into the deepest abyss and show

you my might.

Like the endless clouds of love, Settling amidst the valleys of faith.


Kaushik Gorai

7

Rendezvous with love leads me to the endless sea of pains,

And like a bouquet somber, I lay dead in the hands of time.

Just when he kept his pen on the table, he heard a noise from his bedroom, but that did not made him look at that direction. Something explained that he knew what

exactly was going on in his house and he was okay with that.

“You know I cannot help you unless you show

yourself to me!” He yelled from the living room. There was pin drop silence for few moments. Kiaansh

smiled. “I thought you will never show yourself.” He stood up

yet not looking anywhere.

“Just how many months were you planning to stay with…?” He looked to his right and his pen fell from his hand.

His eyes widened and his mouth open he kept staring dumbfounded.

“Ruhi?” He whispered while a drop of sweat rolled down the carpet from his forehead.

An extremely fair, yet short heighted girl stood in

front him which forcefully flashed unwanted incidents of his past in his mind. Incidents which disturbed him to the depth of his soul, incidents which he had locked inside him

forever hoping they won‟t come out again.


Heart & Soul

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Chapter 2

T The kettle was boiling and I had my tea ingredients

prepared. I looked outside the window to see the rain drops falling and smashing at my window making a pleasant

musical sound. Rains are really horrifying when they come with their full might in a city like Mumbai. It was wonderful that I got stay back and not go to my psychology

clinic. Everyday hearing people come to me with their stories is what I loved. But after few years it becomes a bit dull. I just wanted a break from my clinic and go around

the town a bit. But you are not allowed to do that when you are considered among the top psychological doctor in town.

But people and their stories did not excite me anymore. I used to think to myself why not someone with an interesting case, shall come to me.

I took my cup, dipped in my tea bag, picked up my newspaper and settled on the sofa. The hotness of the tea was such a contrast to the climate outside. I always just

glanced through the pictures in the newspapers. I never really had time to read the entire pages. When work demands a lot, it's difficult to give time to these small

things. They just sort of skip out of your mind. I kept my cup on the coaster, struggled to open the pages of the

newspaper. As I did, there was a knock on the door. I was surprised.

„Who might this be at this weather?‟ I thought looking

outside the window. I kept the newspaper aside and stood up to open the

door. By the time I reached it was already knocked twice

indicating the person on the other end was in a hurry or afraid of something. I looked through the peephole to see a

person with rain soaked brown checkered shirt and jeans with a few books in his hand standing outside. Curiously looking in all directions like someone might have been


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