salt and light leaders’ conference session 2 leading in chaos and complexity
TRANSCRIPT
Chaos and Complexity
In an increasingly complex world with an onslaught of information at every turn, how do we lead communities in a coherent way that maintains quality of relationship and
clarity of purpose?
Chaos & Complexity
Far from agreement
Far from certainty
Adapted from Ralph Stacey
Unproductive Conceptualising
Politics AnarchyFocus on Relationships
Unpredictability
Rules & Procedures
Get on with it Focus On Vision
Chaos
Multiple agendas
Constant disruption
Unanswerable questions
Close to certainty
Close to agreement
Chaos & Complexity
Far from agreement
Far from certainty
Adapted from Ralph Stacey
Unproductive Conceptualising
Politics AnarchyFocus on Relationships
Paradox
Rules & Procedures
Get on with it Focus On Vision
Shared commitment
Complex communication
Allow emergence
New learning
Close to certainty
Close to agreement
Meta-Programmes
Away From
Necessity PossibilitySelfSimilaritiesIn Time
Big Picture DetailThrough TimeDifferencesOthers
Towards
Common Church Paradoxes
Honouring heritage
Experiment in ministry
Discretion/Sensitivity Transparency
Cultural Empathy
Responsibility/Impact on othersBreaking down traditions
Cover and accountability
Release and empowerment
Standing apart
Paradox
•Think of an area in the church where there appears to be a conflict.
•Describe both sides of the argument equally to the rest of the group. What is the paradox in that situation?
•How could church benefit if more people were invited to engage with both sides of the paradox?
Living with Change
•Change is a fundamental part of life
•We can only get with the script
•We resist engaging with change meaningfully because we don’t like pain
•We need to honour our emotions, but it’s our commitment that can steer us through change, not our emotions
Salt and Light Leaders’ Conference
Session 3Being true: Commitment and Uncommitted
BehaviourLeading out of the unique expression of who God
made us to be is the most effective way to bear fruit and live well. But that is easier said than
done when faced with an increasing number of demands from all sorts of angles. How can we ‘live long and prosper!’ in our leadership roles?
Commitment
‘God calls each one of us to be what we are, to allow our lives to unfold according to
our intrinsic nature, to become what God knows us to be’.
(Norvene Vest : A Benedictine Spirituality of
Work)
Commitment
‘A call from God is not a call to do something. It is to be a faithful partner and friend and from that identity, vocation naturally emerges. We do what we are’.
Commitment
‘We have a deep, often unspoken sense that we have been created for special purpose, that we have a serious and holy calling to be expressed through active engagement with the world’.
Commitment‘Each one of us has an essential role to play in the divine plan and we have a longing for the reality of this in our hearts, leaving us restless and unsatisfied until we begin to live in fidelity to it’.
‘We must listen for our own ‘deep gladness’
Commitment
‘We are meant to be attentive to our own distinctiveness so that we can allow the unfolding of our souls in the service of God…
Commitment• Spend ten minutes on your own writing down
aspects of yourself that provide glimpses into who God has made you to be as a contribution to this world.
• Clues are: what you love to do and what you’re enthusiastic about.
• Then find a partner and share with each other about who God has committed you to be.
Commitment• What did you notice about the
other person as they shared?
• What did you notice about how you listened?
• What did you notice about how you were listened to?
Uncommitted Behaviour
Being Right and Making Others Wrong
Dominating and Avoiding Domination
Shedding Responsibility
Creating a Context to Justify our Negative Behaviour
Uncommitted Behaviour
Uncommitted behaviour means:
We relinquish our commitment
It achieves nothing positive in the long term
It has long term negative consequences:relationships, productivity, health, self-expression and fulfillment
Uncommitted Behaviour
How do we deal with uncommitted behaviour?
We need to make sure we are making choices consistent with who we are in God.
We need to get back to our commitment, rather than stay in our emotions.
Uncommitted Behaviour
• Think of a change or initiative that someone has tried to introduce in the church or at work where you have shown uncommitted behaviour.What were you trying to achieve that was positive for you?
• What would have been a better expression of that?
• Is there an expression of uncommitted behaviour that is a habit for you?
Salt and Light Leaders’ Conference
Session 4Learning to Love
The greatest commandment, Jesus said, was to love……first God, and secondly, my
neighbour. How can we keep love as the focus and
motivating force in our leadership?
Listening• Listening is the number one
leadership skill• Hearing is not listening• We don’t listen, we reload• Listening allows relationship• How you listen affects how
the other person
Listening
‘Listening is the beginning of love. There is a kind of listening with half an ear that presumes already to know what the other person has to say. It is impatient, inattentive listening that despises the person and is only waiting for a chance to speak’.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Listening
‘Holding one’s tongue means we allow people to exist in their freedom. God did not make this person as I have made him. He is not for me to dominate and control. I can never know before hand how God’s image should appear in others. That image always manifests a completely new and unique form. The diverse individuals are cause for rejoicing in one another and serving’. Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Listening
• To evaluate – coach or critic?• For use – apprentice or mercenary?• With efficiency – steward or miser?• To relate –• heart or mask?
Listening Exercise
• Think about a time when you were listened to negatively …describe how you felt.
• Think about a time when you were listened to well. What was that like?
• Think about your habitual form of listening…how do you affect the other person?
• How could using the other forms of listening improve your relationships?
Discussion‘to shake apart’
• Offloading opinions• Analysis• Repeating one’s view• Being defensive• Competitive• From a fixed position
Dialogue
‘flow of meaning’• Developing shared meaning• Active listening• Enquiring• Respecting• Being curious• Coming from an open perspective
DialogueListening
Respecting Suspending
Voicing
‘Men are disturbed not by things that happen…but by their opinion of things that happen.’
‘A conversation has a centre and not sides’
Dialogue Guidelines• Be attentive – listen well• Be honest• Be present – no trancing out• Deliver what you want to say • No dominating• No withdrawing• Be humble• Be curious• Remember you bring your whole self• Remember you don’t have the whole picture
Principle of Positive Intention
Think of someone’s recent negative behaviour that you reacted to…
What were they trying to achieve that was positive for them?
What’s changed in how you feel towards them?
Perception
Reality:• People• Environment• Conversations• Events• Feedback
Generalisations
Deletions
Distortions
E
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P
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N
C
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Perception• We need filters: deletions and distortions
• Then we form generalisations: beliefs
• Beliefs form our map of the world…
• But the map is not the territory
• We only look for information that confirms our map
Perception Exercise
• What do you believe about the community/team you work in/with that is positive?
• What do you believe about it that is negative?
• What did you delete or distort that may have kept you in these negative beliefs?
• How do these beliefs prevent you from being who you could be for the community/team?
Summary• Leading in Chaos – disagreement and
uncertainty• Key elements of organisation - vision and
relationships• Shared commitment, holding up the paradox,
promoting dialogue, allowing emergence of creative solutions needed to lead in the messy place
• Understanding change – honouring emotions