Running Head: ASSIGNMENT C

Assignment C

Jennifer Vickers Manzin

EDUC 5P84

Dr. Jacqueline Delong

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Introduction

Action research is an iterative process that is used to address a practice issue in an

attempt to find a solution. This paper represents the final step in conducting an action research

inquiry into an aspect of my educational practice. The purpose of this paper is to offer my

research story. The aim of my research story is threefold. Firstly, to explain the reasons for my

research and what I hope to achieve. Next to provide a descriptive account of the research and

the research process. Lastly, to reveal my living educational theory by sharing the learning that

has evolved as a result of living through the research process.

The Focus of My Inquiry

The focus of my inquiry is driven by a desire to affect positive change in my workplace,

starting with my own professional development. In the following section I offer a narrative to

highlight the rationale for the evolution to my current research focus. I also share a list of

operational definitions to make clear my meaning when using some key terminology in this

paper. I present this account in the form of a research narrative (McNiff, 2006). It is my aim to

use this narrative to make clear “how [I] have taken action to improve [my practice] by

improving my learning through action research” (McNiff, 2006, p. 308). I use headings adapted

from Whitehead’s action plan (as cited in McNiff, 2022) in an effort to organize my research

story.

What Issue Am I interested In Researching?

I offer a narrative of my journey, to this point, in the Masters of Education Program at

Brock University to identity the current focus on myself and my practice in my research.

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When I began my Master of Education studies I was interested in researching knowledge

translation (KT). Knowledge translation is a term used to describe activities that foster the

application of research findings into practice. Specifically, I was interested in exploring how

professional development (PD) activities could be structured to support KT. Based on my

personal experiences, as well as comments and observations from colleagues, I questioned the

traditional “sit and get” (Delong, 2011a)strategies as vehicles for KT. My interest in this issue

was particularly significant because of my role as a nurse educator. As a nurse educator, I am

responsible for providing ongoing education to staff via consultation and professional

development activities. The aim of these activities is to improve practice. Exploring and applying

the literature to date has resulted in my awareness of the complex “intersection of human

experience and social context” (Cole & Knowles, 2000, p. 9) that impact KT. During my studies

my work has continued and I have found that my approach to PD has evolved. Despite these

efforts, KT to improve practice still remains a challenge as evidenced in some feedback and

comments from staff. Such as: “yeah, I would like another reminder about the content we

covered in those sessions. It was so long ago, we are so busy, I have not had a chance to really

apply it” (Colleague, personal communication, March 30, 2011). These comments prompt me to

consider the systemic impact of the traditional approach to PD employed in my workplace

(Anderson & Herr, 2008). For example, what have staff learned about themselves as learners and

creators of knowledge functioning within this workplace (Schon, 1995).

My mistake was in thinking that any one theory or approach could tackle the complex

issue of KT. This is particularly daunting when you superimpose the complexity of multiple

learners on the issue. Katz, Earl & Jaafar (2009) suggest “[staff] learning needs suggest leader

learning needs” (p. 85). Suggesting I need to turn my attention to myself and consider how can I

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improve my own practice. This personal focus represents a shift from an inquiry in education to

an educational inquiry where the focus is on my own learning (Delong, 2011). Starting with

myself, in earnest, is a relatively new approach for me and is particularly important as it aligns

with my worldview, core beliefs and values. My improvement question is: how can I increase

my authenticity in order to contribute to the development of a culture of inquiry, as the chair of

ABC committee?

I have used previous course work to increase my awareness and examine power in my

workplace that is oppressive. I have used this awareness to question power relations that

represent the dominant hegemony (Schon, 1995). Although I identify some issues of power

within this narrative I do not use this paper to explore the power relations in detail. It is not my

intent to negate power relations rather I will use this comprehension to take action on a personal

level to address my problems and issues.

Operational Definitions

Certain terms are used in exploring my research question. The following definitions are

offered for the purposes of the study:

A Public Health Nurse (PHN) in this study is a registered nurse working within

the public health setting.

ABC Committee is a pseudonym for a committee that has representation from a

division within a public health unit. With the exception of one dietician, all

committee members are nurses in lead education roles. Three managers currently

attend committee meetings. The committee meets on a monthly basis.

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Chair of ABC committee. “Meetings are co-chaired by a Program Manager and a

staff representative, on an alternating basis. The term of chairing the committee is

two years. The Program Manager chair will rotate in May of even years and the

staff representative will rotate in May of odd years. The chair is responsible for

building the agenda 2 weeks prior to the meeting and distributing the agenda 1

week prior to the meeting” (quote from draft Terms of Reference for the ABC

Committee).

Critical friends are a necessity of action research and “offer both support and

critique in an open, honest appraisal” (MacBeath, as cited in, Katz, Earl and Jaafar,

2009) “to question assumptions, validate claims”(Delong, Black & Wideman, 2005,

p. 16), “probe for justification and evidence to support perceptions and help

reformulate interpretations”(Katz, Earl & Jaafar, 2009, p. 90-91).

Validation Group is a group of peers that will provide feedback to help strengthen

the validity of your claims by listening to “your progress reports” and scrutinizing

your data (McNiff, 2002)

Methodology

In this section of the paper I share a narrative of an experience with a recent disorienting

dilemma to highlight my reasons for wanting to get involved with my specific research question.

I offer a detailed account of the systematic methods I utilized to address my research question. I

also offer the articulation of my worldview to provide insight into the importance of finding my

own unique way of designing my research in a way that is appropriate to my research inquiry

(Whitehead, 2009; Dadds & Hart, 2001). Lastly, I include clips from a video recorded interaction

with my validation group, and written excerpts from my personal journal and video transcription

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with critical friends. I include this as a way to demonstrate the iterative form my action inquiry

has taken and demonstrate my attempts to validate the direction of my research.

Narrative To Illustrate Specifically Why I Want To Get Involved

I offer narrative that highlights an example of my experience with a living contradiction

(Whitehead, 2009). This narrative also highlights Kathy Schultz’s idea “on being wrong” (as

cited in Delong, 2011a) and exposes my “resolve to do something about it” (McNiff, 2002). In

addition to my role, several other staff exist in similar roles with different areas of focus. Our

approach to PD and the other work we do has not been shared. The result is that we all do our

own thing. Realizing the many benefits of collaborating to improve our practice and approaches,

we have been advocating for the creation of a committee since 2007. The purpose of the

committee is to collaboratively work together to improve our practices and work more

efficiently. Committees have been initiated, for a brief time, twice. Both were discontinued by

management. I am aware of the rationale for discontinuing only one of the committees. The gist

was that the committee was not being productive enough. Despite the many barriers that suggest

the omnipresence of power (Herr &Anderson, 2008), the management team has acknowledged

the value and ‘permission’ for a committee has recently been re-granted. Our first meeting was

on March 2, 2011. The meeting was led by one of the managers. Although, I was excited about

the potential and fully support the necessity of our collaboration, I found I was acting in a way

that did not align with my core values at this meeting. For example, I was abrupt in my

comments, was challenging in my questioning, and was a dominant voice at the table. I was able

to reflect in action (Greenwood, 1993) and recognize the incongruency between my behaviour

and core values. I opted to be quiet for the later half of the meeting, as I was struggling to “move

beyond natural preservation and conservation propensities” (Katz, Earl & Jaafar, p. 43). Reading

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Liz’s comments in Delong and Whitehead (2011) resonates with my struggle to achieve “the

balance that is necessary to live in this world while actively creating change thus enabling me to

live a more authentic life”. Whitehead’s comment (Delong & Whitehead, 2011) “I'll guarantee

that if your freedom is constrained, you will work very hard to overcome that constraint” may

speak to some of the reason for my actions. I also argue I was employing Senge’s (1990) mental

models and making “leaps of abstraction”. I substituted the generalization that management was

only interested in pursuing their own agenda rather than supporting true collaborative

opportunities for staff. This led me to believe that management was acting in a way that did not

align with my core values, leading to my emotional reaction, and inauthentic behaviour. I was an

example of a “living paradox” (Cole, 2009). The paradox was I was acting in alignment with

“the very system that” contributed to my own inauthenticity (Herr & Anderson, 2008). Although

I am moving towards having some experiences of being authentic in practice, this continues to be

a struggle for me. I want to get involved because this is “important to me, and I am hoping to

find ways of engaging with it” (McNiff, 2002).

My rationale for wanting to get involved stems from my deep desire to be authentic.

Authenticity is defined by Cranton and Carusetta (2004) as “a multifaceted concept that includes

at least four parts: being genuine, showing consistency between values and actions, relating to

others in such a way as to encourage their authenticity, and living a critical life” (p.7). My

experience of being inauthentic in practice is disorienting (Cranton, 2010). Personally, I feel

more fulfilled, motivated and engaged when I am acting authentically. It also links to my

personal mission. I have previously articulated my mission in the following way:

“The level of mission involves “becoming aware of the meaning of our own existence”

(Korthagen & Vasalos, 2005, p. 53). In short, my mission is bound to a desire for greater

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good, I feel morally and ethically bound to make a difference and to understand the

purpose of my actions.” (Vickers-Manzin, 2011a).

Methods

I am engaging in practitioner/action research that includes “self-reflective, self-

evaluative, practice based inquiry” (Delong, 2011a). It involves using action, reflection, and

revision cycles as an overriding method for “problem-forming and solving” (Whitehead, 2009, p.

107, Delong, 2011a). The focus of my inquiry was prompted by the identification of a living

contradiction expressed as a concern when my educational values were negated in practice

(Whitehead, 1988). I employed Whitehead’s (1988) action reflection cycle as a general guideline

in attempting to improve my practice in order to live my values as fully as I can. The process

involves: “imagining ways of overcoming my problems; acting on a chosen solution; evaluating

the outcomes of my actions; modifying my problems, ideas, and actions in the light of my

evaluations…(and the cycle continues)” (Whitehead, 1988, p.3). Within the action, reflection,

revision cycles are the unique methods I have employed in an attempt to gather and triangulate

data to validate my claims to know. These include: journaling, video recording and written

documentation of exchanges with critical friends and my validation group.

My journal entries took on several different types for different purposes and increased in

frequency as my research progressed. At times my recordings were ‘personal’, where my

accounts were recorded in an unencumbered way. Other entries resemble a ‘response journal’

and I have used questions as guide to prompt my thinking. Many times my journal was reflective

and pre-reflective in order to: thoughtfully consider my personal experiences in advance of and

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after an event (Delong, Black & Wideman, 2005). I have analyzed my journal entries and include

excerpts as data to address my question and validate my claims.

I asked two work colleagues if they would be willing to commit the time, as critical

friends, to work on my project addressing how I could improve my practice. I will use aliases

Ava and Sam in this paper when referring to my critical friends. I approached these two

colleagues for several reasons. Firstly, as we have equivalent work roles and responsibilities I

was attempting to avoid power differentials that are created with formal roles and responsibilities

(Katz, Earl & Jaafar, 2009). Also, they are both members of the ABC Committee. They were

present during the first meeting and continue to be members. Their presence offers a wonderful

opportunity for a different perspective related to my actions. Additionally, our working history

prompted me to approach these two colleagues. Sam has had the courage to approach me to

clarify the meanings of my behaviour that was construed in a negative way. Ava and I have a

history of collaboratively reflecting on our practice with the aim of improvement, following

shared teaching sessions. Both colleagues have contributed to the improvement of my practice in

a “non-judgemental and helpful way” (Katz, Earl & Jaafar, 2009, p. 91).

During the research period, I had three formal exchanges with my critical friends. Of the

three exchanges 2 were written with verbal exchanges before and after and one was video

recorded and transcribed. Prior to our formal exchanges I sent a note describing the purpose of

our meetings and the questions I was aiming to discuss to aid in Ava and Sam’s awareness of my

hopes. We also had several informal dialogues, I captured my reflections related to these

interactions in my journal writing.

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My validation group consisted of my peers from EDUC 5P84 Masters of Education

course. I tapped into the knowledge and experience of the members of my validation group in an

attempt to increase the social validity of my research using four criteria suggested by Whitehead

(2009) and enhance the imagined possibilities for improvement. My aim was to “submit my

work with a request that they help me to strengthen the comprehensibility, truthfulness, rightness

and authenticity” of my research narrative (Whitehead, 2009, p. 12; McNiff, 2006).

Within comprehensibility I include the logic of the explanation as a mode of thought that

is appropriate for comprehending the real as rationale (Marcuse, 1964, p. 105). Within

truthfulness I include the evidence for justifying the assertions I make in my claims to

knowledge. Within rightness I include an awareness of the normative assumptions I am

making in the values that inform my claims to knowledge. Within authenticity I include

the evidence of interaction over time that I am truly committed to living the values I

explicitly espouse. (Whitehead, 2009, p. 108).

I had the opportunity to access the whole of my validation group several times throughout

the research period. There feedback related to my research has been captured on video, in the

form of written feedback and in my own journaling following discussions with members of the

group. I include excerpts from this data throughout the paper to demonstrate my commitment to

increasing the social validity of my claims.

As a result of employing this method my entire action research process became an

iterative experience. The process has resulted in the emergence of valuable data as evidence in

every stage of the research process. As such, I have not included a results section. Rather, I have

embedded data as evidence to validate my claims under appropriate headings throughout the

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paper. In an attempt to employ methods that are congruent with my research process and

worldview, I employed “methodological inventiveness” (Dadds & Hart, 2001). This means that

the form of my inquiry has emerged through the inquiry process.

Personal Assumptions

A description of my worldview is offered as this view has directed the research design

and approach I have taken in this study.

My worldview is predominantly situated within Morin’s (1998), Emergent Paradigm. In

this view knowledge is not something that exists out there, independent of learners; rather

knowledge construction takes form in the “eyes of the knower” (Kilgore, 2001, p. 53).

Pratt (1998) captures the Emergent Paradigm’s belief about knowledge in his description

of the subjectivist view of knowledge. That is, knowledge is dependent on the learner’s

individual perceptions. Learning involves actively making sense of something through

interpretation, interrogation, and meaning making that is personally relevant, versus

learning as a passive reception of knowledge (Pratt, 1998). I also embrace the Emergent

Paradigm’s view that learning and knowledge are directed by individual perceptions and

that our perceptions are inextricably linked to and influenced by social, cultural,

historical, personal, contextual factors as well as our lived experiences (Morin, 1998;

Pratt, 1998). That is, these factors intertwine to play a critical role in developing our

cognitive frameworks through which we see our world (Kilgore, 2001; Pratt, 1998).

Causality is seen a multidimensional and results in a shift away from content to a global

level of events and the learner’s interdependent place in the world (Morin, 1998). In this

view all life experiences are learning experiences (Merriam, 2001). Learning does not

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only happen in formal settings, “every social setting is a text where people learn

important lessons about themselves in relation to others” (Hayes, 2000, p. 25). In short,

my beliefs are “ontologically relativist and epistemologically subjectivist” (Mills, Bonner

& Francis, 2006, p. 6). (Vickers-Manzin, 2010, p. 7)

My worldview links to Siemen’s (2008) idea of connective knowledge. That is, that

knowledge is networked and distributed. I believe that our cognitive frameworks have the ability

to restrict our learning and that it is necessary to connect and dialogue with others to shift from

an “epistemological to an ontological emphasis” (Siemen, 2008, p. 6). I offer my worldview to

situate myself as a researcher within the research paradigm. It provides insight into my choices

for the research question and methodology. For example, the focus on my practice and a

methodology that is founded on lived experiences. It also emphasized the importance of me

having deep sense of control over the research design versus following a prescribed route that

has been dictated for me. I found my motivation to absorb myself in the research was enhanced

as the action research cycle aligns so well with my worldview (Dadds & Hart, 2001). The

following quote from my journal on May 25, 2011 provides evidence of my motivation:

“I have to say this research is so appealing and practical that I find myself more

motivated to explore the research question. My research question is at the forefront of my

mind on a daily basis and I carry my journal everywhere... I find myself looking for

evidence to improve my practice by reflecting in action. This is a shift for me in terms of

frequency with which I am doing it.”

Action research embodies the forms of knowledge and knowledge creation that I feel

passionately about (McNiff, 2002). Like Whitehead (2009) “I associate research with knowledge

creation”.

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Validating my research course

In order to hold myself accountable to acting in a way that is authentic I began my

research by attempting to articulate my values. I saw this as a necessary first step to imagine the

possibilities of overcoming my problems. After all, “clarifying these values is a necessary

condition for judging whether improvements in” practice are occurring (Whitehead, 2009, p.

110). I was surprised at the difficulty of this process. As a result, this became my entry point into

an action, reflection, and revision cycle.

Originally my core values were articulated as: kindness, optimism, life-long learning,

humour, democracy and relationships. On May 14, 2011, I had the opportunity to access my

peers in EDUC 5P84 as my validation group. The purpose was to evaluate and validate the

articulation of my inquiry to date. This opportunity was video recorded. Several people had

valuable suggestions to increase my comprehensibility and clarify plans for moving forward.

http://youtu.be//1Ke5qaShS9c

For example a couple of peers encouraged me to re-consider humour as a value.

18:57 – 19:05 – Joe: The humour piece, how are you going to know what is coming

across as humourous?

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20:50 – Jacquie: I think you might want to think about humour as a value. Is it a strategy

that you use to show kindness and optimism?

These comments provoked consideration of my meaning and resulted in me omitting

humour as a value and recognizing that it is something I use as an outlet.

During the session with the validation group a framework for the evaluation and

validation was provided in paper form to obtain written feedback related to four criteria of social

validity (Whitehead, 2009). Of interest to me was that three out of the six respondents had

included comments related to honesty under the criteria of ‘authenticity’. They were:

Very honest in your narrative.

It is about your learning and that is what makes it authentic, great. I love your honesty!

You seem to be honest in your desire to improve the social order.

Another valuable suggestion came from a peer who suggested an exploration of the

identification of my values and the embodiment of them with my spouse and critical friends.

This feedback was key in helping me imagine ways forward in my research process.

15:50-16:35 http://youtu.be//1Ke5qaShS9c

After reflecting on the perspective of my peers I planned to discuss the identification of

my values with members of my family on May 20, 2011(my husband, my mother, and my

daughter). I captured their comments in my journal while we were talking. There was consensus

from all three, they felt I was missing honesty in the articulation of my values. I share my mom’s

comment here:

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Mom: “I’m surprised you have nothing about honesty, that was the first one that came to

mind. It is what you are, that is what you strive to be. It is your total approach to just

about everything.”

On May 29, I video recorded a 45 minute discussion with my critical friends. The

purpose of our discussion was to seek the perspective of my peers regarding my practice at the

ABC Committee as well as the identification and degree to which I embody the values I claim to

hold. Prior to our meeting I provided a written expression of my values for their review.

(Appendix I). The result was a rich discussion, with great insight and learning for myself. I

include clips throughout the paper. Both Ava and Sam also quickly identified honesty an

attribute they felt was missing from my list of values.

Ava: “I think a lot of people don’t value honesty that they put other things above it…but I

would definitely say that you do value it and I see it in you a lot.”

Sam: “ …when you put something forth, I know that is your honest take, your take on the

whole situation, you’re being very clear and honest…”

Jen: “When I hear you both saying it actually reinforces for me how much honesty, like,

that just resonates to my very core…that really is very important to me.”

In reflecting on these experiences and identifying honesty as a common ‘missing’ idea in

the articulation of my values, I gained insight into myself in two ways. Firstly that I hold honesty

as a virtue that I feel it is necessary to embody my value of life-long learning. Secondly, I

embody honesty in my actions.

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I provided an excerpt from Assignment B to my critical friends, related to articulating my

values, in the hopes that they would be able to provide some feedback related to the

comprehensibility. They stated:

Ava: “I’m not really sure what you meant by democracy…I think that my question with it

is more one of like semantics. I don’t really know what the definition of that word means

in this context. When I hear you talking to me I’m thinking more equality and I don’t

know if that is different, but I feel like I am a little bit guessing at what you mean.”

Jen: “So I need to clarify that…I feel like democracy to me is, ummm, that equal

opportunity for the voice. So it is a lot about equality. But to me, and maybe this is a

better word, it really is about kind of justice, you know, like that whole social justice.”

The combination of this feedback and my own reflection has led me to identify my own

lack of clarity in defining the meanings of my values. This in turn prompted a need to the explore

my own practice for living evidence of the meaning of the values that I hold. I use the section of

the paper entitled “What kind of evidence can I gather to show why I am interested in this

issue?” to demonstrate the meaning of my values and articulate them as living standards of

practice (Delong & Whitehead, 2011). For now, I offer a list of my values, which include:

kindness, optimism, lifelong learning, relationships, democracy and justice.

What kind of evidence can I gather to show why I am interested in this issue?

In order to “show the situation so that other people can related to what [I] am

experiencing” (McNiff, 2002) I attempt to communicate “the meanings of the expressions of

[my] embodied values and life-affirming energy in educational relationships” (Whitehead, 2009,

p. 1). First, I share some hypotheses that I had at this point in my research. I share these not to

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delimit the study, but to clearly articulate some of the assumptions I had in approaching the

research. Next, I offer some data as baseline data to help validate my hypothesis and plans for

moving forward. Lastly, I attempt to make clear my values through examples of my living

embodiment of them by including excerpts from interactions with critical friends, my own

journal writing and clips from video recorded sessions. The excerpts further reveal examples of

my living contradictions which helped to narrow the focus for my next steps in the research

process (Delong & Whitehead, 2011).

Hypotheses

My hypotheses at this point are as follows:

ABC committee has the potential to function as a learning community

My actions during our first meeting did not contribute to a culture of inquiry

ABC currently does not have all the makings of a ‘culture of inquiry’

With deliberate practice and use of critical friends I can develop an inquiry habit

of mind and contribute to developing a culture of inquiry in the role of chair at

ABC committee

Baseline Data

In an attempt to validate my assumptions and strengthen the truthfulness of my

claims to know (Whitehead, 2009) I approached Ava and Sam. I asked them three questions and

they responded via e-mail correspondence on May 13, 2011 (Appendix II). Both Ava and Sam

offered some comments that I feel validate some of my hypotheses. In relation to the potential of

the committee they write:

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Ava:“I feel that the ABC has the potential to contribute to improving the way we work in

ABC. I think that the first 2 meetings have been very hopeful regarding making positive

changes and most members have arrived with many good ideas and a willingness to work

on the issues identified”.

Sam: “Excited for the potential to finally have a more structured systems/process for

collaboration, consultation, approval, etc; hopeful that here is the place for all programs

to identify training needs as a collective – or in an equal opportunity format, rather than

training opportunities provided for some individuals or single team and not for others;

hopeful to implement some processes to ensure consistency across the programs; hopeful

to ensure communication regarding opportunities …in the community, etc.”

It is my belief that these comments validate my hypothesis in relation to the potential of

the ABC Committee to function as a learning community. I feel it also demonstrates some

readiness of participants to engage in the types of behaviours and interactions that are necessary

for the development of a culture of inquiry (Delong, 2011a).

In relation to my own concerns about the influence of workplace context affecting my

behaviour and attitude during committee meeting, I was curious about any concerns my

colleagues had related to the potential of the ABC Committee to function as a culture of inquiry.

They write:

Ava: “In terms of potential for a culture of inquiry, compared to other members, there

are a few members on the committee that are slightly more critical of other’s responses

and this has led me to feel mildly uncomfortable with sharing at the meetings (although

this may be more about my own insecurities rather than the actions of others).” “My

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primary concern is that change can be slow to occur in this environment and that the

committee will lose momentum before we are able to achieve any of our goals.”

Sam: “… Concerned with responding style (sometimes positive – but some really

negative, aggressive, and dismissive comments) to suggestions by members…it’s

important that everyone has the opportunity to provide input into the discussion/decisions

– but sometimes the delivery of some leaves it challenging for individuals to speak up.”

I feel these comments reinforce the ideas shared by Delong (2011a) and Brubaker (2011)

related to the necessity of attributes, skills and trust necessary to foster a culture of inquiry. We

share the same concern related to missing elements that are necessary to a culture of inquiry. I

expand on this while expressing my values of lifelong learning and relationships.

In relation to my actions during our first ABC Committee meeting (as captured in earlier

narrative), I was curious about Ava and Sam’s interpretation of my behaviour and it’s

contribution to fostering a culture of inquiry . Ava comments:

Ava: “… I think you make a valid point that taking a firm stand on any given issue makes

it more challenging to create an environment where inquiry and sharing ideas is

promoted”. “…I think the more strongly you believe in something the more implicit it is

that “my idea is right and yours is wrong”.

Sam: “Your persona has always been open, positive, and you’ve always been able to

pull/apply a positive aspect to any situation presented whether in a discussion, conflict,

consult, etc. and in a diplomatic style. It was why it was noticeable for me when this

wasn’t always evident at our first RCH Joint Resource meeting. At that meeting, your

open, positive self was not present – not that you blocked or made it where people

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couldn’t speak up – as clearly, people still did. But, you definitely appeared to be tense

and very focused with your objectives.”

Reading these comments prompted my own reflection in my journal. On May 13, I wrote:

“Feeback received via e-mail from my two critical friend, [Sam] and [Ava]. Reading

their responses felt very liberating. I was feeling excited but vulnerable about this

process. Reading their responses felt liberating because they were validating my

hypothesis…Also this process itself made me or motivated me to be more accountable. I

find, I am inspired to move forward more purposefully and focused.”

My hypotheses have been validated: the ABC Committee has potential to function as a

culture of inquiry; there are some concerns related to the behaviours which may interfere with

this process. One of which was my own. As I believe I only have the ability to change myself

and I need to be accountable for my own behaviour. I can see a clear direction and opportunity

for me to focus on the embodiment of my values to improve my practice related to my role as the

co-chair of the ABC Committee.

Values as Living Standards of Practice

I propose to use my values as “standards of judgment. By standards I mean Stenhouse’s

(1967) definition: ‘criteria which lie behind consistent patterns of judgment of the quality and

value of the work’” (Delong & Whitehead, 2011, p. 9). By consistent, I mean that I will

consistently employ my standards to judge the consistency between my values and actions.

Using my values as standards also enables me to identify when my values and actions are

incongruent and reveals my “living contradictions” (Whitehead, 1988). My values as living

standards of judgment include: kindness, optimism, life-long learning, relationships, democracy

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and social justice. I intend to use my values as standards of judgment or criteria to determine:

my current practice, to provide future direction for my practice, and to judge whether my

practice is improving (McNiff, 2002).

Value of kindness and optimism

I believe that optimism and genuine kindness is a powerful influence on the self and the

other. In my mind, these values align with Zander and Zander’s (2000) idea of giving an A. It

has the potential for creating a space that allows for the unexpected potential of the other. It

embraces the conviction that “much more is possible than people ordinarily think” (Zander &

Zander, 2000, p. 2). After all if ‘it’s all invented’ we “might as well choose to invent something

that brightens our life and the lives of the people around us” (Zander & Zander, 2000, p. 33). My

meaning in the embodiment of these values is captured in a quote from a ‘Gee I Never Thought

of That” (GINTOT) reflective journal writing from September 5, 2009. I wrote:

“I also like to consider the ‘what if’. What if we decided that we would always interpret

others actions or words in a positive light? What if we decided we would only respond in

a way that reflected that perception? How would that response affect the messengers or

recipients processing of the interaction or even their memory of it down the road? How

would it impact future interactions?”

My professors written response to this entry was:

“Optimists live longer.”

Optimism can be embodied in kind and respectful exchanges. For example, eye contact,

facial expressions, tone of voice, and use of language. I would also extend these criteria to non

face to face interactions. Kindness can be extended in written words of praise and appreciation as

ASSIGNMENT C 22

well as written greetings. The value of optimism embodies the endless possibilities of the other

and the situation. This would involve finding ways to solve issues and valuing the input of others

by listening. I will share a recent entry from my journal I feel captures an experience where I

successfully embodied these two values. On May10, 2011, I wrote:

“Throughout my life I have often said: Actions speak louder than words. But at the same

time I have said: The way you say something is important and impacts whether or not you

are heard. An example that comes to mind is that of me starting as a clinical tutor. I was

warned by nurses who previously worked on the floor that it was not a welcoming or

friendly place. Despite hearing this I was not overly concerned. I was convinced I could

make a difference. Growing up in my family, my mother often said: Kill them with

kindness. This translated, for me, to acting with someone in a way you hope they will act

with you. I did several things: two 12 hour shifts on the floor where I shadowed the

nurses on the floor. During these shifts I genuinely shared my thoughts and feelings

related to their dedication to their work and my amazement of their extensive knowledge

base. When I brought the students on the floor I took the opportunity to highlight the

expertise I had witnessed each nurse contribute to patient care. Following each day I

approached each nurse and thanked them for their contribution to student learning for

the day. I was specific with my feedback. We had a very successful term. The students

often commented on how welcoming and friendly the nurses were and how it facilitated

their learning as they were not afraid.”

Ava and Sam were able to provide some feedback related to the embodiment of these

values during our video recorded session on May 27, 2011.

ASSIGNMENT C 23

Ava: “Well the kindness and optimism I saw easily, no problem.”

Sam: “I can see whenever, you very much engage people. Like, always the eye contact,

always the turned in body, the inflection in the voice, you know. I think people feel part of

that whole authenticity and honesty that it is. You know. When you are enthused about or

give feedback around positive things, your body expression, you know that’s great…I

think the approach, style, that you always give off and you know the benefit of the doubt

of taking the bigger picture in around, sort of, all the potential impact of, you know, what

could be influencing the whole dynamic of the situation…a lot of us get natery about

behind the scenes that kind of thing, you don’t get caught up into that.”

I include a video clip from our ABC Committee meeting. It is included under “What can

you do about the situation?” It is my hope that the reader will see my lived expression of

meaning of kindness and optimism in the clip.

Value of life-long learning and relationships

As I articulated in my worldview I believe that “all life experiences are learning

experiences” (Vickers Manzin, 2010). However, for me life-long learning is a commitment to

learning from life experience and continuing to create and seek new knowledge that supports this

endeavour. For me, life-long learning is a purposeful act and requires the seeking and provision

of honest, critical feedback that challenges thinking and practice. I argue that feedback then

needs to be applied as a way to continually improve practice. I agree that “our practices will take

a good deal more than three minutes to master” (Zander & Zander, 2000, p. 5). My value of life-

long learning aligns with Dewey’s (1938) writings regarding “Experience and Education”. For

Dewey, “experience is the means and goal of education” (p. 89). Implicit in this value are

ASSIGNMENT C 24

Buber’s idea related to humility and Thayer-Bacon’s fallible knowers (as cited in Delong,

2011a). I latch onto Buber’s (1947) quote related to the “special humility of the educator” and

apply the concept to my own learning as an educator (as cited in Delong, 2011a). Learning

requires humility to “move beyond [our] natural preservation and conservative propensities”

(Katz, Earl, & Jaafar, p. 43). It follows, in order to practice humility we must accept that we are

“fallible knowers”. I embrace Thayer-Bacon’s relational epistemology that “insists

knowers/subjects are fallible, that our criteria are corrigible (capable of being corrected), and that

our standards are socially constructed, and thus continually in need of critique and

reconstruction…This (e)pistemology must be inclusive and open to other because of its

assumption of fallible knowers (as cited in Delong, 2011a). I link this back to my previous

thoughts regarding the virtue of honesty and my vision of it’s link to life-long learning. I feel my

virtue of honesty is demonstrated in my inclusion of personal narrative that are “on being wrong”

(Schultz, as cited in Delong, 2011a). My work colleague shared the following comment on June

2, 2011 related to her perception of my embodiment of the value of life-long learning. I captured

her comment in my journal. She said:

“Life-long learning is something that you truly value for yourself and for others. For

example, you could have went with the old model of professional development but instead

went with a new mode. This is more work but also more likely for knowledge

translation.”

My 11 year old daughter has been part of my discussion with my family. She offered her

thoughts:

My daughter (11 years old): Whenever you tell stories you always tell what you did

wrong.

ASSIGNMENT C 25

This idea of fallible knowers and the need for inclusivity and openness links to my value

of relationships. I agree that I need the perception of others to broaden my perspective, and

“critically [examine] evidence, arguments and alternative points of view” for life-long learning

(Mezirow, 1997, p. 6). My experience has been that multiple perceptions of reality have the

potential to break our mental models and prevent leaps of abstractions and generalizations we

often make (Senge, 2008). I share a quote from a previous paper to illustrate my experience.

“The safety and structure of the course paired with my desire to explore the roots of my

dilemma united and incited me to relate my ‘discontent to others’ (Dyke, 2006). I shared

my story and dilemma relating to the incongruency between my espoused theory and my

theory in action with colleagues in the course EDUC 5P85 (Greenwood, 1993). The

sharing expanded beyond my own story and became a collaborative dialogue of shared

and discrepant experiences (Cranton & King, 2003; Cole & Knowles, 2000; Dyke, 2006;

Mezirow, 1997). As a result of the shared context of the course, we developed a

relationality and mutuality, which resulted in a broadening of my perspective while

paradoxically providing further ‘points of view’ into understanding the complexities of

my day to day decision making (Cole & Knowles, 2000; Mezirow, 1997).”(Vickers-

Manzin, 2011a)

As a result, I embrace the idea that many have the potential to be smarter than the few

(Katz, Earl, & Jaafar, 2008) and that tapping into collective wisdom requires collaborative

relationships. I feel my values of kindness and optimism are necessary in the formation of

relationships as they “demand attention, need care, thought, sensitivity, respect and trust in order

to develop” (Cole & Knowles, 2001, p. 26).

ASSIGNMENT C 26

I feel this action research project represents an example of me embodying my values of

life-long learning and relationships. Specifically, my question of seeking to improve my practice

and contribute to my own life-long learning. Also my chosen methods: I am seeking to do this in

collaboration with critical friends and a validation group.

My work colleague shared her thoughts in relation to the embodiment of my values. I

captured these in my journal as we spoke. She commented:

“You truly value the collaborative relationship and collaborative process as evidenced

by your drive to develop and advocate for the ABC Committee with the purpose of

collaboratively working together.”

I insert the following pictures, as a few of the living examples of engaging in

“collaborative inquiry that challenges thinking and practice” for the purpose of life-long learning

and building through practice an inquiry habit of mind (Katz, Earl, & Jaafar, 2009, p. 40).

On May 7, 2011 during class EDUC 5P84, a peer and myself mutually agreed to be

critical friends in relation to developing the focus for our personal and professional development.

ASSIGNMENT C 27

It was her comment: “that is a big question” in conjunction with feedback from our professor and

the validation group “that could be your PhD thesis” that helped me to narrow my question.

On June 4, 2011 in class EDUC 5P84, myself and a peer engaged in a narrative exercise.

We each shared a narrative, listened and articulated the values we heard each other embodying

through the story. I captured his response in my journal. He said:

“It sounds as though you grew up in a family that talked and laughed a lot… I hear that

you appreciate contributing to a family like atmosphere that is safe and comfortable. You

have a very dialogic approach. It came through very strongly that building relationships

is essential for you in doing no harm.”

I then had the opportunity to share my perceptions of the embodiment of his values and in

this way attempted to contribute to his own learning.

On June 4, 2011 I also took advantage of a learning opportunity for myself and the group

by sharing my struggles with this research project. I also comment on the personal value of video

recording experiences for my own learning. This video recording is one example of the

ASSIGNMENT C 28

embodied expression of my meaning of the values of life-long learning and relationships. Please

see 17:40-21:10 at:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQZVp2lBlV8

Value of democracy and social justice

I believe in the right of all people to speak and for there to be equal opportunity for their

voices to be heard. The criteria for the embodiment of these values include opportunity for

participation by all members. I believe a safe environment and a trusting atmosphere are enablers

of democracy. Trust has been identified by Katz, Earl, and Jaafar (2009) as “a key condition of

productive relationships” (p. 12). These authors expand and say “trust does not build itself” (p.

40) it includes “respect for each others’ dignity and ideas, belief in other’s competence, and a

confidence in each other’s integrity” (p. 40). I believe that contributing to a trusting and safe

environment requires the embodiment of the values of kindness, optimism, relationships and life-

long learning.

During the critical friend video recording session Sam offered the following comment

related to my embodiment of the value of democracy:

“You brought forth, that well, there is more members on our team, we have to bring this

as a collective approach and, you know, voicing everyone’s opinions and then as a result

will guide us or talk through the decision making process.”

I also believe her words demonstrate my embodied value of relationships.

The value of social justice relates to “improving the social order and…the learning [that

happens in] social formations” (Delong & Whithead, 2011, p. 3). I include a quote from a

ASSIGNMENT C 29

GINTOT writing on November 12, 2009 to demonstrate my articulation of this value in earlier

writing. I wrote:

“…The implications of this powerful ripple effect is exciting and intrinsically motivating

to lead an invitational life. In fact, I would argue that we are socially obligated to act this

way. As the results are so win/win both at the individual and societal level.”

I believe despite the existence of structures that are hiearchical, for example formal

leadership position of management and directors, that roles and responsibilities are equally

important. Referring back to Zander and Zander’s realm of possibility by ‘giving an A’ has the

potential to contribute to the alignment of “teacher with student, manager with employee [and so

on]” (p. 35) creating a team approach. I offer this statement not to deny the power of the

dominant hegemony and “the world of measurement” that we live in (Zander & Zander, 2000, p.

17), rather to suggest that we have the capacity to become aware of social forces and can choose

to act in opposition to them.

During the videotaped critical friends discussion on May 27, 2011, Ava stated:

“The social justice kind of part, I really do see that in you as well. Like someone who

will advocate for things and will stand up for things…”

This paper began with a narrative about a specific experience of being inauthentic. At the

beginning of the research project I was concerned with my inauthentic behaviour specific to my

role as chair at ABC Committee. However, the articulation of the meanings of the embodiment

of my values and my own desire to improve my practice prompted me to reflect back on

responses from my Ava and Sam related to my behaviour at the first ABC committee meeting.

Upon reading these words again I began to consider how my inauthenticity may be seeping into

other aspects of my professional role. In my journal on May 24, 2011, I wrote:

ASSIGNMENT C 30

“What I recognize about myself is how dialectic I am. I am wondering if this results in my

serving my own needs a little too much. For example, I will talk out loud to anyone who

will listen just because talking it through helps my ideas shape and evolve. I now

recognize writing does the same thing for me. I often say things out loud inviting another

perspective but do not always get it. Is this because of the strength of my conviction is so

strong that I silence others with my passionate talks?”

I offered my thoughts regarding this potential living contradiction to Ava and George

during our tapped conversation. Ava and Sam shared their perspectives:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05V2YC85s_M

Ava was able to validate my concerns and validated my living contradiction when she

stated:

Ava:“hmmm I want to say, I don’t know how this is going to come out. That ummm

sometimes with the social justice side of it, it is really easy to get caught up in like the

passion of it and so that then the authentic voice can get lost.”

Jen: “yes”

Ava: “because of the energy of it, so maybe that is something. I don’t know.”

Jen: “Yes that is great feedback.”

Ava: “I don’t know if that make sense?”

Jen: “It does, yep”

ASSIGNMENT C 31

Ava: “So it is easy to then move away from the relationship because you are in the

moment. And that does have an energy to it, right? I don’t know.”

Jen: “I totally agree with that comment. I think that is very insightful comment, thank you

for that.”

I embarked on this journey into this action reflection cycle because I had a concern that I

was not living my values as fully as I could. In an effort to do something about it, I set out to

gather data to clearly articulate my values (Whitehead, personal communication, 2011). This

process helped to clarify the meanings of the embodied values that I live and to “chose one

possibility to act on” (Whitehead, 2009, p. 11). I feel this clip validates my next steps in the

research cycle of imagining the possibilities and the actions toward living life as fully as I can by

embodying my values of democracy and social justice. I expand on the steps I took towards this

goal under “What can you do about the situation” and “What kind of evidence can I gather to

show I am having an influence”

The transformation of the articulation of my values is the result feedback obtained at a

video recorded meeting with my validation group, a video recorded meeting with my critical

friends and personal journal excerpts that help to identify in practice my “energy flowing values”

(Whitehead, 2009) and as a result refine the articulation of the meaning of their embodiment . I

hope this illustrates the iterative process involved in my research process and clearly

communicates my values as living standards of practice.

What can you do about the situation?

Based on the data I gathered to date my question became more focused. I expressed it as:

How can I embody my values of democracy and social justice as chair of the RCH committee to

contribute to a culture of inquiry. I was concerned about the power of my voice and how that

ASSIGNMENT C 32

could act to silence others. As a result of my new focus, I had a desire to explore the literature to

help formulate a plan. Specifically, I was interested in exploring the idea of a culture of inquiry

and types of leadership that I feel align with my values while also contributing to a culture of

inquiry.

Imagining the Possibilities

A culture of inquiry can be a mechanism for “practioner learning, done collaboratively”

(Katz, Earl and Jaafar, 2009, p. 74). It involves the investigation of individual practice and

consideration of other practices through: collaborative discourse and joint work that challenges

thinking and practice by making beliefs and practice explicit. I feel I can contribute to a culture

of inquiry by embodying my values of life-long learning and relationships. I agree with Delong

(2011a) that a culture of inquiry is facilitated by: an inquiry habit of mind (Earl, Katz, & Jaafar,

2009); the humility of practitioners; the practice of enrolment (Zander & Zander, 2000); an

acceptance of needing each other for learning and growth; being receptive to alternate

perspectives; being present; giving way to passion; and recognizing that we are all fallible

knowers. Brubaker (2011) encourages participants to “build on one another’s ideas and assist

each other in providing reasons, drawing inferences, and identifying each other’s assumption” (p.

3) through highly interactive and participatory, dialogic practices. The result is a joint

construction of knowledge that requires trust and empathetic understanding. Leading discussions

requires the skills of: flexibility, theory/practice congruence, deliberative engagement, and good

communication skills (Brubaker, 2011). I feel I have presented evidence that the concepts

promoted for facilitating a culture of inquiry are in line with my worldview and the living

meaning of my values. It is my hope that embodying these values then will contribute to a

culture of inquiry at ABC Committee.

ASSIGNMENT C 33

Katz, Earl and Jaafar (2009) support the need for informal leaders in cultures of inquiry

or networked learning communities (NLC) to “individually or collectively, influence their

colleagues, [managers], and other members…of [the] communit[y] to improve…practices” (p.

61). The authors site core competencies for informal leaders in this capacity. These include:

“demonstrating exemplary [practice], understanding and sharing relevant theory and research,

and guiding colleagues by means of reflection and an inquiry orientation” (p. 61). At this stage

of the research cycle I was feeling that the steps I had taken to date contributed to my

development of these competencies. For example, showing an interest in and taking steps to

improving my own practice I see as a way to demonstrate exemplary practice. This paper

demonstrates my understanding and sharing of relevant theory and research to guide my

behaviour into reflection and develop an inquiry orientation.

Of particular importance in my action reflection research cycle was the fact that in class

EDUC 5P84 we were creating our own culture of inquiry. This lived experience allowed me the

opportunity to practice the embodiment of some of my values and learn from the style of others

who contributed to our culture of inquiry. The following is a clip from one of our class on May

7, 2011. I feel it demonstrates behaviours in our groups that reflect the principles and concepts

involved in a culture of inquiry.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-KiF5LR3Eg

00:24-06:20

My goals now were to be aware of the power of my voice in acting as the chair of the

ABC Committee on June 1, 2011. To use this awareness to guide my actions and purposeful use

of my voice in a way that recognized contributions by showing appreciation through kindness.

To embody my values of democracy and social justice to contribute to a culture of inquiry. By

ASSIGNMENT C 34

embodying these values I am hoping to contribute to a culture of inquiry and improving my

practice.

What Kind of Evidence Can I Gather To Show That I am Having an Influence?

At this stage I entered into another action reflection cycle to collect data, and evaluate the

extent to which I was acting in the way that I intended to act. Again, I used multiple sources of

data in an attempt to validate my claims. These continue to include: journaling, response to

questions regarding my actions during the ABC Committee from ‘critical friends’ and one other

Committee member, and clips from a video recording of the meeting.

The ABC Committee meeting was held on June 1, 2011. At the onset of the meeting I

obtained verbal consent to video record myself for my own learning with the aim of improving

my practice. I shared that I would be reviewing the video myself and sharing clips of the video

with my professor Jacquie Delong to meet, in part, the requirements for Assignment C. Each

member of the Committee provided consent. I had also approached my manager and the manager

at the meeting prior to the meeting to explain my purposes. Verbal consent was provided

individually by each manager.

Immediately following the meeting I spoke with my critical friends, and captured parts of

the conversation in my journal. I wrote:

“Debrief after ABC Committee was over with critical friends [Ava and Sam]. They felt

the meeting went extremely well and were thrilled with how positive the environment was.

We were discussing how it feels good to be moving forward with a clear focus and some

deadlines. Sam asked: Do you think that has to do with how you chair the meeting and

keep the focus? My answer was: I don’t know, I don’t think that is something I can

determine myself but needs to be validated by others. I feel there are many variables that

ASSIGNMENT C 35

intersect to contribute to a successful meeting. Do I feel I contributed in a positive way?

The answer is yes”.

Reviewing this journal entry allowed me to identify two things. Firstly, my embodiment

of the value of relationships. That is, I quickly identified that I needed the perceptions of others

to validate a claim about the full extent of the impact of my behaviour. I also believe there is

emerging evidence of a culture of inquiry that is developing between myself and critical friends

as evidenced by the question Sam asks me. I will expand on this idea further down.

I also wrote:

“I felt very present in the meeting. I was conscious when I felt my voice was not allowing

the voice of others. For example, allowing others to finish prior to beginning to speak. I

felt I used smiles, eye contact and genuine laughter to embody my values of kindness and

optimism and contribute to a safe environment. I felt there was equal participation by all

members.”

Reviewing the video allowed me to search for these behaviours and acted as a way to

validate my claims. I feel the clip below demonstrates my efforts to embody my value of

democracy. I am ‘present’ in the conversation mostly non-verbally (Zander & Zander, 2000). I

also attempt to ensure two voices are heard when more than one person was talking. Please see

the clip at:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=coywVqN4W6Q

ASSIGNMENT C 36

I include the next clip to demonstrate my desire to embody social justice by attempting to

improve the quality of our collaborative working relationships. In this clip I encourage us as a

Committee to come up with a clear plan to improve our practices. It is my hope that my values of

kindness, optimism and relationship are obvious to the viewer. Please see the clip at:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DdaSXwQmLlA

There is some evidence that the ABC Committee is moving from relationships to deep

collaboration. For example, according to Katz, Earl, and Jaafar’s (2009) fourfold taxonomy for

examining collaboration we are beginning to take on “joint work” (p.45). It will be interesting to

be part of the process to see if this type of collaboration is an enabler to the kind of meaningful

professional learning that can impact practice.

I am also able to see in these clips room for improvement. There are a few times when I

say: “ I think…” when really I am summarizing and re-framing what the group has agreed on.

This is helpful for me to consider future phrasing so it is not so self-centered but rather centered

on the decision of the group and reflective of our collaborative decision making. For example,

saying: “it sounds as if we have all…is this correct?”

For me, this highlights the importance of continuing to monitor our own practices,

imagine possibilities, act, gather data, look at data and see where we are at and how we could

proceed more purposefully.

I also sent a letter to Ava and Sam prior to the Committee meeting (Appendix III) to

solicit the perspective of my critical friends related to the extent that I am living my values as

ASSIGNMENT C 37

fully as I can as chair of the ABC Committee. The day following our meeting I sent out an e-mail

to all Committee members with a letter attached (Appendix IV) in an attempt to gather data from

other members of the group. One member provided feedback, I will refer to her as Jean. I have

included all the feedback in Appendix V. I pull out some specific quotes here that I found

meaningful.

In relation to my goal to do my part to foster an environment where all feel free and able

to contribute and are valued. My aim was to be mindful of the power of my voice that may

inhibit the contributions of others. I asked: How did I affect the contributions of members of the

group? Jean commented:

“I think you helped clarify what people were saying by using phrases like “okay, so what

I’m hearing is… And statement like “sounds like we are saying we need…” That helped

me to understand what people were getting at. It helped to make things clearer than they

would have been if only the original contributor had spoken.”

Sam wrote:

“If there were multiple people trying to speak, you asked the person who wasn’t heard

what they had wanted to say (including myself)…at the end of the meeting, summarized

the accomplishments of the group’s functioning i.e. covered a lot, came up with concrete

plans and timelines-this has people (at least me) with a positive feeling. I think this does

influence how the next meeting will go – what the members’ expectations regarding

group function especially in light of how the previous meetings were.”

My second goal was to contribute to a safe space by embodying my values. I asked: How

did I contribute to a safe space, or not? Jean responded:

ASSIGNMENT C 38

“As a brand new member to the group, I felt your warmth and as such felt that I could

speak freely which is not always the case at some other meetings that I attend. You are an

active listener which makes a person feel that their contribution however small has

value.”

Ava shared a comment, and prompted me to reflect for the future by adding an important

question for consideration. Ava wrote:

“I think that your actions were a big factor in the different feeling at this meeting

compared to previous meetings, but am also aware that sometimes there can be one

member in a group that does not share the values of other members, in this situation –

everyone feeling safe and able to contribute. I‘m wondering if you’ve thought about how

you would have handled the situation if there was a member present who was less kind?”

In response to: How did I contribute, or not, to a culture of inquiry? Jean wrote:

“I think the summarizing/paraphrasing that you did and then giving back to the group

allowed us to tap into the collective wisdom of the group. You really didn’t position

yourself as the person with the answers.”

It is my hope that this research story provides a comprehensive, truthful and right account

of my practice moving in the direction of me living my values as fully as I can and in this way

contributing to a culture of inquiry. I plan to continue this journey and look forward to increasing

my authenticity over time and with commitment.

Alongside my primary research question, I became curious about the changing

relationships I was experiencing with my critical friends. Reading Kok (1991) regarding the

documentation and development of conversations with collaborators from uncertainty to

ASSIGNMENT C 39

contradiction, to resolution and transformation. I was curious about some of the feelings Ava and

Sam may be experiencing. At the end of our video recorded session on May 27, 2011, I asked:

Jen:“I was wondering…if you could just talk about in the beginning when I first asked

you guys to do this…if you are willing to share, ummm some of what you thought when I

asked you in kind of the beginning of this relationship.”

Sam: “Honored then panicked.” (lots of laughing)

Ava: “I would agree with that”

Sam: “Then I was like I don’t know if what I’m going to be saying is it even going to be

valuable”

Ava: “… I was feeling insecure too.”

Jen: “Yeah, so that relates to what, what is the feeling behind that?”

Ava: “Ummmm, you know what for me, I did not go to Mac, so I wasn’t really

indoctrinated with the value of feedback…so that feels uncomfortable a little bit. Not in a

bad way, but a little bit like I don’t really like getting feedback, because if it is good

feedback, then sure, bad feedback, then, you know

Jen: “Yeah, it’s vulnerable.”

Ava: “Yes, that’s it, it makes you vulnerable. Feedback to me makes me feel vulnerable,

so I felt unsure about it.

Jen: “About giving, making me feel vulnerable?”

Ava: “yes, yes”

This conversation validated my hypothesis and Kok’s (1991) suggestion that being

involved in research has the potential to have profound impact. I was finding that our discussion

relating to my practice were extending outside our meeting times. Furthermore, the conversation

ASSIGNMENT C 40

had evolved to discourse beyond my practice to consideration of their own practices. Sam was

sharing her own thoughts and goals related to her own professional development, her challenges

and vulnerabilities. In my journal on May 17, 2011, I wrote:

“Sam talked about her own professional development, how she wants to move forward

and work on particular aspects but is uncertain about how to proceed.”

I was noticing the concepts of a culture of inquiry emerging with my critical friends. I

was curious about the impact their participation in my research had on their own practice. In our

last written exchange, I asked: “Based on our interactions to date (the three of us), you have

helped me in my journey to answering: how do I improve my practice? I am curious about the

impact, if any, on your own practice. I am wondering if you could think about the following

question related to our experience together. Do we help each other improve? How? Ava and Sam

both responded positively to this question. They provided many examples (Appendix V). I

include Ava’s response here:

“Yes, absolutely. Discussing this topic with you has led to me reflecting on my practice in

a big way… Particularly, in the past year, I have been thinking about authenticity as

something that I value but don’t feel that I am doing a good job of expressing. Through

this process, although I have not verbalized it, I have viewed you as a mentor in terms of

becoming more authentic. (Thank you : )…I think that most people always want to do

better (is this true? I don’t know but it is for me) but that sometimes we need reminders

that we have stopped moving forward. For me, discussing this process with you has been

a catalyst for thinking about my own process.”

McNiff (2002) proposes that addressing the question of “how can I improve” has a social

element. Suggesting that aiming to improve our own practice, for our own benefit, has the

ASSIGNMENT C 41

potential to benefit the practice of others. Although, I cannot claim to be part of a culture of

inquiry within the ABC Committee, I do believe my relationship and collaboration with critical

friends during the research process has evolved to a culture of inquiry. I hope to continue to be

part of this transformational learning experience.

How Do You Explain Your Educative Influence?

Through the process of engaging in my own action research project together with the

written expression of my research story my personal model of learning has been revealed.

“Living theory is an explanation produced by an individual for their educational influence in

their own learning, in the learning of others and in the social formation in which they live and

work” (Whitehead, 2009, p. 104). My living theory of learning that has occurred is personally

relevant and based on my lived experience. I offer the following explanation of my educational

influence in my own learning as a way to synthesize the key concepts that have been presented in

my paper and clearly articulate my own learning process. I have divided the aspects involved in

my learning under two broad concepts as a way to organize my expression of my living theory.

They are: precipitating factors influencing my educative influence and a process for learning. I

expand on each below.

Influencing My Educative Influence

There were several precipitating factors and contextual variables that enabled my process

and contributed to my own learning. The point of isolating these factors is not to suggest that

these alone have prompted my learning, rather they were a necessary part of my process and are

worthy of noting. There are three things that I make reference to: a recent experience with a

disorienting dilemma (Mezirow, 1997); the importance of the context of the course; my own

desire to enhance my authenticity.

ASSIGNMENT C 42

Disorienting dilemma.

A disorienting dilemma is described by Cranton (2002) as an event that exposes an

individual’s “limiting or distorted view” (p. 64). My disorienting dilemma began with a concern

that my espoused theory and theory in practice were not in alignment; I was a living

contradiction (Whitehead, 1989). My narrative relating to my experience at the first ABC

Committee meeting in conjunction with the research process revealing a realization of ‘the

power of my voice’ translated into concern that I was not living my values as fully as I could.

The identification and experience with a living contradiction was extraordinarily motivating to

engage in a process to find a solution. Finding the solution through critically examining my own

process was necessary in my own learning.

Context of the course.

The cultural and contextual setting of the course facilitated my educational influences in

my own learning. The teaching/learning context has a powerful influence for transformative

learning possibilities including that of critical reflection (Cranton 2002; Cranton & Carusetta,

2003). More specifically, the context of course EDUC 5P84 included a focus on: change and

renewal; building trust and safety; collaboration and relationships; and a small group, communal,

active learning environment (Delong, 2011a). It also provided the space and time for discourse

related to a sharing of successes, failures and contributed to the broadening of my perspectives

(Mezirow, 1997; Katz, Earl & Jaafar, 2009). The flexibility and freedom for creativity combined

with the acceptance of alternate representations of knowledge and ways of knowing facilitated an

openness to “emergent findings” through the action research cyle (Schon, 1995; Delong &

Whitehead, 2011). The comfortable acceptance of multiple ways of knowing created a climate

in which I could “[turn] the problem on its head” and examine my issue from a broader

ASSIGNMENT C 43

perspective (Schon, 1995, p. 29). For example, my use of multimedia to enhance my

understanding of the meanings of the expression of my values was key in my learning. I express

this in a video recorded discussion with Jack Whitehead on June 4, 2011.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQZVp2lBlV8&feature=BFa&list=HL1308923624&index=3

(19:00-21:13)

As Whitehead (2008) claims “the forms of representation that dominate printed text-

based media cannot express adequately, in the standards of judgment and explanatory principles

of academic texts, the embodied values we use to give meaning and purpose to our lives in

education” (p. 113).

My own desire.

One of the primary goals of adult education and transformational learning is to foster

greater autonomy in thinking (Mezirow, 1997). Participating in courses towards my Masters of

Education at Brock University has contributed to the development of my ability to critically

reflect and enhanced my desire to increase my own authenticity. Course work has provided an

opportunity to engage in reflection and rational/reflective discourse. I feel this ‘practice’ has

enabled me to use action research to translate these skills processes to the improvement of my

own practice. For example, the evolution from discussion to discourse during the research period

in my interactions with critical friends. As a result, my inquiry has evolved to an emerging

‘inquiry habit of mind’ (Katz, Earl & Jaafar, 2009). I have extended my inquiry beyond the walls

of academia to the improvement of my practice on a regular basis.

ASSIGNMENT C 44

In addition to the intersection of external and internal variables that have influenced my

educative influence in my own learning, a process for learning has evolved from my research

experience. This process represents my living educational theory.

The Process of My Learning

The components of my action research methodology represent the key components of my

living educational theory. Enhanced self awareness through reflection is central to my learning.

Central to self-awareness and reflection are collaboration and vulnerability. Finally, without

application to practice, data gathering and evaluation I argue I would not have learned much.

Enhanced self-awareness and reflection.

The process of engaging in action research has contributed to a self awareness, a ‘knowing of

thyself” at a level of consciousness never before achieved (Brown, 2002; Whitehead, 1989).

Specifically, the process of identifying my values and engaging with my practice to explore the

extent to which I am living my values as fully as I can was key in my own learning. The practical

significance of employing the action, reflection, revise model using my values as living

standards has led to the use of self awareness as a guide to actions (Delong & Whitehead, 2011).

I feel in this research process I have learned to more regularly employ strategies to reduce

perceptual errors; I avoid hasty conclusions, I allow myself more time and I am flexible with my

construction of meaning (Delong & Whitehead, 2011; Zander & Zander, 2000). For example,

living contradictions are acknowledged as an indicator to pause, step back and consider an

alternative perspective. There is then an incentive to explore, question and bring to

consciousness the reasons for actions. I acknowledge the possibility of drawing incorrect

conclusions, knowing my reflection is always a reconstruction (Thayer-Bacon as cited in Delong,

2011a). As the reconstruction is evolving and ongoing, I no longer seek to find the single right

ASSIGNMENT C 45

answer. As a result of becoming attuned to my own behaviours, I am finding myself more

curious and less judgmental about the behaviours of others. Considering reasons for my own

behaviour has facilitated my acceptance of the multiple complex intersections of professional

and personal contexts at individual and broader societal levels that affect us. The collective result

is that the quantity and quality of my reflection has changed. I am engaging in reflection on

action, in action and for future action with the goal of increased authenticity in practice (Wilson,

2008; Cranton & Carusetta, 2004). In addition to the evidence presented throughout the paper, I

offer the following narrative written on June 3, 2011. I entitled the narrative “The Development

of My Living Contradiction”. I was seeking to explore the reasons for my actions. I wrote:

“I grew up in a loud, loving home. There were four of us. Two girls; 18 months a part; my

mother and my father. We laughed lots and debated with passion. There were many nights

we would sit together at the dinner table deep in conversation. It was very common for us to

finish each other sentences or interrupt mid-sentence with a new idea or thought. This

dynamic has translated to many aspects and relationships in my life. For example, I am very

dialogic in my learning and often use friends, family and colleagues as sounding boards to

talk through my thought processes. This is especially true when I feel passionately about

something. As one would guess my values are something I feel passionately about which

translates to me using my voice when I attempt to embody them. Which ironically has

contributed to my experience with a living contradiction. I have learned that journaling is an

effective way to be dialogic with myself and to consider more appropriate times and places

for meet my own learning needs.”

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Collaboration and vulnerability.

The importance of collaboration with my peers was a dominant theme in my learning.

The supportive encouragement and discourse I was receiving from my peers encouraged me to

complete the difficult task of clearly articulating my values and provided direction for next steps.

The “emotional sustenance” of the conversations broadened my perspective to realize my

problem was not uniquely my struggle (Brookfield, 2002, p. 34). This social element of my

journey in my research and discovery of my own learning is promoted by many authors’ focus

on discourse as a necessary component for transformation (Brookfield, 2002; Cranton& King,

2003; Mezirow, 1998). My research question is really seeking to find a solution to transform my

practice by increasing my authenticity.

Vulnerability was a theme that emerged many times in my journal entries and is key to

my living theory. I relate to Brene Brown’s (2011) discussion of “the power of vulnerability”

and her reference to the “shame of the fear of disconnection”. Crucial to both ‘knowing myself’

and collaboration was being and accepting vulnerability as necessary for my learning. For

example, on May 11, 2011, I wrote in my journal:

Jen:Prior to approaching Ava and Sam I found myself feeling nervous to ask them to

participate as critical friends. This resulted in me doing a lot talking and explicit

explaining of the purpose of my research and my hopes for their participation.

On May 27th I discussed these feelings with Sam, her response was:

Sam: Yes I noticed that you were not action like yourself, very chatty. Why were you that

way?

ASSIGNMENT C 47

In addition to this prompt, my own reflection on my emotion encouraged me to articulate

my feelings of fear in asking the other. I see a parallel to my experience with vulnerability and

Kok’s (1991) ‘uncertainty’. It is a necessary part of the journey from “uncertainty, contradiction,

to resolution and transformation”. I agree with Zander and Zander (2000) when they state:

Mistakes can be like ice. If we resist them, we may keep on slipping into the posture of

defeat. If we include mistakes in our definition of performance, we are likely to glide

through them and appreciate the beauty of the longer run. (p. 102).

Application to practice.

Being involved in action research that included multiple lenses and views on my practice

was a necessary part of my learning. I feel a greater sense of organization and ability to

communicate the rationale for planning a course of action. I feel strongly that researching my

living experience with a specific practice issue with the aim of finding a solution was crucial to

increasing my feelings of motivation and sense of increased control and accountability in my

learning (Dewey, 1938). I wrote in my journal on June 3, 2011:

“Not only do I find myself being more responsive, I also find my responses more

authentic. What has evolved is an ‘antidote’, a way for me to systematically reflect on

day to day practices to take control of my plans and course of action.”

The literature was a necessary part of my learning and key links to my research often

became apparent in a serendipitous way. “We never know when we might come across a piece of

writing that, either in form or substance, might provide the intellectual or creative spark

necessary to move research ideas forward” (Cole & Knowles, 2001, p. 64).

ASSIGNMENT C 48

Limitations

I have written this paper in the personal, relating to my own experience and my

limitations relate to my own assumptions and conclusions. I recognize that my experience was

exactly that, uniquely my own. Meaning some of the variables involved in my educational

journey were necessary and evolved from the contextualization of my life to date. Therefore, I

would argue that the exact nature of my journey is not generalizable. I share my analysis of my

experience as a way of reflecting on the process and perhaps to broaden the perspective of others

to the imaginable possibilities of improving practice. I also recognize that my reflections are

always reconstructions. Therefore this paper does not represent a construction of truth but a

reconstruction of meaning and learning to date.

I acknowledge the time frame of the course, as a limitation. I argue I could continue to

explore the individual dynamics of the many intersections revealed in this paper at great length.

At the same time I acknowledge the amount of time and effort involved in action research and

addressing my research question. Time and effort I may not have invested without being situated

within the course and course requirements. The issue of time was not addressed in this paper and

could be seen as a barrier by others.

Finally, I used the readings from the course and selected text and applied them as I

interpreted their meaning. I did not seek to find holes in the authors’ ideas and theories but chose

to focus on how I could apply the ideas and theories to enhance my research journey to seek to

increase authenticity in practice.

ASSIGNMENT C 49

How Can I Ensure That Any Judgments I Might Make Are Reasonably Fair and

Accurate?

Along with the evidence I have shared from my personal journey of learning in the action

research cycles I have employed critical friends and a validation group as a source of

endorsement and social validation from others to ensure my judgments are reasonably fair and

accurate (McNiff, 2002). I use criteria of comprehensibility, truthfulness, rightness and

authenticity to help me strengthen my explanation of my educational influences (Whitehead,

2009). These criteria were applied by a validation group, critical friends, and individual members

from my validation group throughout the research cycles. I have embedded this feedback

throughout the paper to increase the social validity of my research process and claims to know.

Upon the completion of this research narrative I submitted my explanation of educational

influences to a peer from my validation group that acted as a critical friend (Appendix VI). Her

feedback is valuable in that it is positive and confirms the articulation of my claims to know

through this research narrative. Although this is valuable, I look forward to another perspective

related to my data or perhaps other links that did not occur to me. I recognize that this is a steep

request because of the requirement of time and energy that goes along with it. As I have

collaborated with critical friends who have a stake in the problem under investigation I feel I have

increased the democratic validity of my research narrative (Herr & Anderson, 2008).

I also used these criteria as a guidepost during the research process for myself. My own

monitoring in conjunction with collaboration of critical friends and a validation group helped me to

“reorient, focus and energize [myself] towards knowing reality in order to transform” (Herr &

Anderson, 2008, p. ). It is my hope that this research narrative has been organized in such a way to

produce clear evidence that I have and will continue to work on improving my practice.

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How will I change my practice in the light of my evaluation?

My practice has already begun to change, it is my hope that this endeavour will continue

to change my practice towards improvement as this is my primary aim. I continue to journal

more regularly and make use of critical friends. I am interested in continuing to monitor my

practice and educational influence as chair of the ABC Committee. I am hopeful that our

practices will develop into a culture of inquiry.

Conclusion

Action research is a powerful way to seek solutions to practice issues. My participation in

action research resulted in a refinement of skills and an increased self-awareness related to

practice behaviours and possibilities for action. The process has revealed a process of how to

wholly, equally and democratically participate in and control my own learning, one small step at

a time” (Delong & Whitehead, 2011). The result is a shift from epistemological focus to an

ontological one. The ontological focus has “epistemological significance for educational

knowledge” (Delong, 2011). The locus of change is self, rather than other. The irony is the

powerful ripple effect this has on the practice of others and in contributing to a culture of inquiry.

I recognize I am a fledgling, experimenting with new roles related to the improvement of

my practice by enhancing my authenticity. What is continuing to develop, and I argue always

will, is a reflexive relationship between self and practice (Whitehead, 1989). I recognize that my

living educational theory is not static; it will no doubt change with time, context, and experience.

It is my hope that I have demonstrated my “movement towards a frame of reference that

is more inclusive, discriminating, self-reflective and integrative of experiences” (Mezirow, 1997,

p. 5). I hope this paper communicates the shift I have experience from an inquiry to an emerging

ASSIGNMENT C 51

inquiry habit of mind. The result of my action research is a learning journey towards self-

understanding, coupled with critical self reflection that has enabled me to be aware of choices

that reflect authenticity versus choices that reflect inauthenticity. Although, I may not always be

authentic I will have an increased awareness of inauthenticity.

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Appendix I

Letter to Critical Friends

Written Expression of Values

Hello again,

To explain further the purpose of my action research, I will provide some more details. For me, improving my practice relates to my ability to strive towards being authentic. Authenticity is defined by Cranton and Carusetta (2004) as “a multifaceted concept that includes at least four parts: being genuine, showing consistency between values and actions, relating to others in such a way as to encourage their authenticity, and living a critical life” (p.7).

A large focus of this research is to provide evidence of my behaviours and then analyze and evaluated if there is a consistency between my values and actions. In order to this I needed to articulate my values and define indicators that I could look for in my behaviour (not as easy as I thought it would be). I would like to share this with you and ask you to consider these in relation to my behaviours at work. Then respond to the following questions:

1. To what extent would you agree or disagree that these are values that I hold, if you only had my actions to guide your analysis?

2. Which values do you see me struggling to embody?

Please know I am still refining the articulation of my values and indicators – so they may seem unclear. It would be nice to discuss this in person. I think both of you can help me to articulate this better. I have red notes embedded – these are my notes to myself to expand on these sections further.

Value of kindness and optimism.

I believe that a positive attitude and genuine kindness is a powerful influence on the self

and the other. In my mind, it aligns with Zander and Zander’s (as cited in Delong, 2011a) idea of

giving an A. It has the potential for creating a space that allows for the unexpected potential of

the other. Talking with John this morning he said perhaps my value of optimism is better

captured with a value of hope – I am not sure but I know hope is part of this value.

Value of life-long learning

ASSIGNMENT C 53

I believe that life-long learning requires the seeking and provision of honest, critical

feedback that challenges thinking and practice. Then using this feedback as a way to continually

improve practice. This aligns with Buber’s idea related to humility and Thayer-Bacon’s fallible

knowers (as cited in Delong, 2011a).

Value of democracy and relationships

I believe that everyone should have an equal opportunity for their voice to be heard. I

believe that the values of kindness, optimism and humour have the potential to create a safe

space for the building of relationships where the principles of democracy can be embodied. I also

embrace the idea that many have the potential to be smarter than the few (Katz, Earl, & Jaafar,

2008). That tapping into this collective wisdom requires collaborative relationships.

Working Criteria.

I will use this section of the paper to offer a tentative vision of the embodiment of my

values in my action (Delong & Whitehead, 2011). I intend to use my values as standards of

judgment or indicators to determine whether my practice is improving (McNiff, 2002).

Value of kindness and optimism

The embodiment of these values as indicators of living standards would involve being

respectful of the other in interactions and communication. For example, eye contact, facial

expressions, tone of voice, and use of language. I would also extend these criteria to non face to

face interactions – all the non-verbal cues so familiar to us in the nurse-client relationship

communication literature – I could use these as indicators – see RNAO-. Kindness can be

extended in written words of praise and appreciation as well as written greetings. The value of

ASSIGNMENT C 54

optimism embodies the endless possibilities of the other and the situation. This would involve

finding ways to solve issues and valuing the input of others by listening.

Value of life-long learning.

In particular to my research I will use criteria related to developing an inquiry habit of

mind. For example, I will employ the following prompts to guide my journal reflections related

to developing and inquiry habit of mind: am I showing evidence of engaging in evidence-

informed thinking?; am I imagining the ideal state?; am I considering how to bridge the gap?; am

I monitoring what progress has been made? (Katz, Earl and Jaafar, 2008, p. 44). In relation to

contributing to a culture of inquiry, I will use the following questions as prompts for my journal

writing: How am I contributing to a culture of inquiry?; How do I know?; How can I improve?;

As a culture of inquiry, how can we help each other? (Delong, 2011a) I will also use the fourfold

taxonomy for examining collaboration described by Katz, Earl and Jaafar (2008) to provide the

details of the answers to determine if I am contributing to collaborative efforts on the RCH

committee to enable “meaningful professional learning that can impact practice” (p. 45). John

also provided some words I think I will use as indicators for this section i.e. responsibility and

accountability.

Value of democracy and relationships.

The criteria for the embodiment of these values include participation by all members and

evidence of trusting atmosphere. I will refer to Zander and Zander’s (2000) definitions of being

present, giving way to passion and engaging in the practice of enrolement as criteria for the

embodiment of my values (Delong, 2011a). – acceptance, tolerance, empathy, integrity

ASSIGNMENT C 55

Appendix II

Letter to ‘Critical Friends’ at Workplace

Baseline

Hello Ladies,

Thank you for agreeing to be my ‘critical friends’. I am hoping to chat in person, again, next week when you have free time about what I am hoping to gain from this action research experience and how you can contribute.

The gist is, I am doing action research and the general question I am seeking to answer is: “How can I improve my practice”. This is a big question to tackle during a short course, so I have narrowed it to my role on the RCH committee. My question will be refined, currently it is: how can I enhance my leadership skills, as the chair of the RCH committee, and through the embodiment of my values to contribute to a culture of inquiry?

A culture of inquiry is one that embraces inquiry (a need to know – a search for deep understanding) and creating (i.e. from collective wisdom of members of group) or locating knowledge that will be useful for reflection and for focused planning and decision making along the way. It is important that the collaborative inquiry challenges thinking and practices and may involve a change in what people think and know. There are some things that need to be present to support a culture of inquiry. For example, safe secure environment where we people are able and receptive to the interactions that would promote a culture of inquiry. Specifically, do we help each other to improve? Do we feel safe to do that? I am only measuring my contribution, or not, to this.

I would like to get your base line feelings related to the current RCH committee, a culture of inquiry, and my influence to date.

If you are willing, could you please answer the following questions?

1. How do you feel about the potential of the RCH committee?2. Do you have any concerns? If yes, what are they?3. How do you feel my actions during our first RCH meeting reflected behaviours

supporting a culture of inquiry? (We have chatted about this in person and you know my perspective and have provided me with some valuable insight to date, I would love to capture this in the written format and not simply rely on my fallible memory.)

I appreciate your time and honesty.

Smiles

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Appendix III

Letter to Critical Friends

Last written exchange

Hello again,

At our RCH committee today and in the role of chair, I hope to lead the discussion while purposefully trying to embody my values to contribute to a culture of collaborative inquiry.

I have two goals based on our discussions to date.

Firstly, to do my part to foster an environment where all feel free and able to contribute and are valued. I aim to be mindful of the power of my voice that may inhibit the contributions of others.

My second goal is to contribute to a safe space by embodying my values of kindness and optimism.

Please answer the questions below. I welcome examples and feedback for improvement.

How did I affect the contributions of members of the group?

How did I contribute to a safe space, or not?

Based on our interactions to date (the three of us), you have helped me in my journey to answering how do I improve my practice. I am curious about the impact, if any, on your own practice. I am wondering if you could think about the following question related to our experience together.

Do we help each other improve? How?

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Appendix IV

Letter to ABC Committee Members

Hello members of RCH Committee,

I wanted to extend my sincere gratitude to each of you for granting permission for me to video record myself at our meeting yesterday. As I mentioned, I am doing a self study and seeking to explore an answer to the question “How can I improve my practice?” The video recording allows me to look at myself more objectively. Your feedback would be appreciated as a way to validate, or not, my own conclusions.

I am specifically looking at my practice at RCH.

Yesterday, my goal was to act as my role as co-chair, while purposefully trying to embody my values to contribute to a culture of collaborative inquiry. I am defining a culture of inquiry as a space where people:

Embrace inquiry (a need to know – a search for deep understanding)

Feel safe to explore and challenge current practices and assumptions

Embrace collaborative work to create new knowledge based on evidence, experience and the collective wisdom of the group

Specific to this meeting I had two goals.

Firstly, to do my part to foster an environment where all feel free and able to contribute and are valued. I aim to be mindful of the ‘power of my voice’ that may inhibit the contributions of others.

My second goal is to contribute to a safe space by embodying my values of kindness and optimism.

Please answer the questions below. I welcome examples and feedback for improvement.

How did I affect the contributions of members of the group?

How did I contribute to a safe space, or not?

How did I contribute, or not, to culture of inquiry?

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Smiles

Jen Vickers Manzin

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Appendix V

Feedback post ABC Committee Meeting from critical friends and Committee member

Hello members of RCH Committee,

I wanted to extend my sincere gratitude to each of you for granting permission for me to video record myself at our meeting yesterday. As I mentioned, I am doing a self study and seeking to explore an answer to the question “How can I improve my practice?” The video recording allows me to look at myself more objectively. Your feedback would be appreciated as a way to validate, or not, my own conclusions.

I am specifically looking at my practice at RCH.

Yesterday, my goal was to act as my role as co-chair, while purposefully trying to embody my values to contribute to a culture of collaborative inquiry. I am defining a culture of inquiry as a space where people:

Embrace inquiry (a need to know – a search for deep understanding)

Feel safe to explore and challenge current practices and assumptions

Embrace collaborative work to create new knowledge based on evidence, experience and the collective wisdom of the group

Specific to this meeting I had two goals.

Firstly, to do my part to foster an environment where all feel free and able to contribute and are valued. I aim to be mindful of the ‘power of my voice’ that may inhibit the contributions of others.

My second goal is to contribute to a safe space by embodying my values of kindness and optimism.

Please answer the questions below. I welcome examples and feedback for improvement.

How did I affect the contributions of members of the group?

I think you helped clarify what people were saying by using phrases like “ok, so what I’m hearing is… And statements like “sounds like we are saying we need…” That helped me to understand what people were getting at that. It helped to make things clearer than they would have been if only the original contributor had spoken.

How did I contribute to a safe space, or not?

ASSIGNMENT C 59

As a brand new member to the group, I felt your warmth and as such, felt that I could speak freely which is not always the case at some other meetings that I attend. You are an active listener which makes a person feel that their contribution however small has value.

How did I contribute, or not, to culture of inquiry?

I think the summarizing/paraphrasing that you did and then giving it back to the group allowed us to tap into the collective wisdom of the group. You really didn’t position yourself as the person with the answers.

I have to say, I really enjoyed your facilitation of that meeting and my god, I’ve sat through a lot of meetings in my time. I don’t have a single thing to put forward regarding what you can improve. Your style of facilitation works for me and, quite frankly, I am looking forward to working with you on this committee

Hello again,

At our RCH committee today and in the role of chair, I hope to lead the discussion while purposefully trying to embody my values to contribute to a culture of collaborative inquiry.

I have two goals based on our discussions to date.

Firstly, to do my part to foster an environment where all feel free and able to contribute and are valued. I aim to be mindful of the power of my voice that may inhibit the contributions of others.

My second goal is to contribute to a safe space by embodying my values of kindness and optimism.

Please answer the questions below. I welcome examples and feedback for improvement.

How did I affect the contributions of members of the group?

I noticed that you were making an effort to ensure that each member’s input was consistently considered - for example, after asking a question that impacted all group members you made eye contact with each member one by one. I think that this kind of intentional action sends a clear message that all members are valued.

I also noticed you making a consistent effort to verbally acknowledge each person’s contributions. For example by making comments like “ Thanks ___, that was a great point” which I think tells not only the person who contributed that their point was valued but also, through the consistency sends the message to others that contributing in general is valued.

How did I contribute to a safe space, or not?

The meeting felt safe for me. Although I didn’t ask other members if they felt safe, when I think about other member’s verbal and non verbal communication, my overall interpretation is that

ASSIGNMENT C 60

members were calm and relaxed which suggests to me that it was a safe space. Also, there was lots of eye contact between members and open dialogue- other indicators that members felt safe.

I think that as the chair, you contributed to this through your actions that I mentioned above ie making everyone feel valued.

I felt that all members were slightly different in their responses compared to previous meetings and I attribute these differences to the safe environment for example;

o I felt more safe than I have at previous meetings and felt that I contributed more than I did at the past 2 meetings

o Members that I have previously noted to be a bit more critical in their remarks seemed gentler when responding to others

In terms of kindness and optimism, I struggled with identifying if/how you expressed these values. Overall you were positive and as noted above made efforts to make everyone feel valued but I can’t think of ways you were explicitly kind or optimistic (not that you weren’t, just that I can’t think of examples). The more I think about this, the more I feel that these values are something that have to be expressed consistently to be meaningful for example, if someone makes a cutting remark in the hall outside the meeting but then is kind in the meeting, for me this feels more unsafe than someone that is consistently unkind because I don’t know what to expect. With you, I do know what to expect- you are consistently kind – this means that the small acts of kindness are less noticeable because they are just the way you behave but are still meaningful and valuable.

I think that your actions were a big factor in the different feeling at this meeting compared to previous meetings, but am also aware that sometimes there can be one member in a group that does not share the values of other members, in this situation – everyone feeling safe and able to contribute. I ‘m wondering if you’ve thought about how you would have handled the situation if there was a member present who was less kind?

Based on our interactions to date (the three of us), you have helped me in my journey to answering how do I improve my practice. I am curious about the impact, if any, on your own practice. I am wondering if you could think about the following question related to our experience together.

Do we help each other improve? How?

o Yes, absolutely. Discussing this topic with you has led to me reflecting on my practice in a big way. We have discussed before that we have similar personalities and from the start I have thought “yes, I value these things too” I think even without reading your list I would have identified many of the same values. Particularly, in the past year, I have been thinking about authenticity as something that I value but don’t feel that I am doing a good job of

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expressing. Through this process, although I have not verbalized it, I have viewed you as a mentor in terms of becoming more authentic. (Thank you : ) )

o However, I think that even if the values that you working on were not values that were important to me, that the process of looking at one person’s practice intrinsically causes you to look at your own. For example- when you asked about how you embodied certain values I was automatically thinking “do I embody these values?”. I like to think that if my answer was “no, because that’s not important to me” that my next thought would be “what is important to me?”

o I think that most people always want to do better (is this true? I don’t know but it is for me) but that sometimes we need reminders that we have stopped moving forward. For me, discussing this process with you has been a catalyst for thinking about my own process.

Hello again,

At our RCH committee today and in the role of chair, I hope to lead the discussion while purposefully trying to embody my values to contribute to a culture of collaborative inquiry.

I have two goals based on our discussions to date.

Firstly, to do my part to foster an environment where all feel free and able to contribute and are valued. I aim to be mindful of the power of my voice that may inhibit the contributions of others.

My second goal is to contribute to a safe space by embodying my values of kindness and optimism.

Please answer the questions below. I welcome examples and feedback for improvement.

I would have liked to capture concrete examples & wording you used, but doing the minutes pulled my attention. I envision things you’ve said, but then worry that I’m recalling it from a different meeting. So I apologize in advance!

How did I affect the contributions of members of the group?

- you asked for input relating to the topic being discussed and did hold back before voicing your take on it. One caution - (especially I value your input), I’m hoping that you’re not holding back/limiting your input due to your efforts in ensuring everyone has a voice. I think it’s a hard balance, especially when chairing, you’re have being cognizant of the agenda, time, keeping the discussion moving in a forward direction, summarizing plans, actions, decisions, ensuring people are given opportunity to participate and still somewhere amongst all that, process everything and include your own contributions, etc.... a lot on the go. I think you do a great job of this by the way!

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- if there were multiple people trying to speak, you asked the person who wasn’t heard what they had wanted to say (including myself). I found being away from the table (and having half the members’ backs to myself), it was not ideal for when discussions are happening and trying to get my voice heard. If you noted me trying to say something, you would give me that opportunity. I’d suggest in future, when the minute taker is not at the table, for you to sit where you can clearly see (as you did at this meeting) them to ensure they’re included.

- using: “that’s a really good question/idea/suggestion”, sometimes I hear you say something along this line when whatever was voiced isn’t necessarily the direction or collective the majority is voicing - this especially makes it ok (safe) for people to voice differing opinions/suggestions, etc. and gives value to input by members (not that it’s something you can do with every single contribution!). I can’t remember what it was that Jenn had said, but you had replied “that’s a really good point...” (I think - I’m sure you’ll see it when you view the video).

- at the end of the meeting, summarized the accomplishments of the group’s functioning i.e. covered a lot, came up with concrete plans and timelines - this has people (at least me) with a positive feeling. I think this does influence how the next meeting will go - what the members’ expectations regarding group function especially in light of how the previous meetings were. As mentioned after the meeting, I wonder how it will be when all members are present.

How did I contribute to a safe space, or not?

- see above, it’s intermixed

Based on our interactions to date (the three of us), you have helped me in my journey to answering how do I improve my practice. I am curious about the impact, if any, on your own practice. I am wondering if you could think about the following question related to our experience together.

Do we help each other improve? How? yes!

- has helped me evaluate my own reactions - e.g. had me exploring why I was apologetic and minimizing my contributions in some of the discussions and feedback interview

- has reinforced my belief that it should be an equal discussion

- has me evaluating my own functioning in and outside of the meetings:

- my own habit of jumping in right away with my input or contributions to decisions. I don’t think I’ll always keep it in mind - but being aware will help check it!

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- confirming my belief that I should continue to pursue seeking all members’ input into discussions and decision-making (despite it has not been working so far)

- has helped me be able to put things into perspective:

- taking ownership of my actions and behaviours, and to realize that I shouldn’t be owning all of the ups & downs of my team

- validation of perceptions/observations - or help to see things clearly (objectively) when I’m being guided by emotions!

- see behaviours I aspire to being done by others, role modeling (though they may not be aware of it)

- has helped me problem solve- e.g. through the challenges that our newly formed team is going through, changing dynamics, etc.

c’est fini - I’m running out of steam!

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Appendix VI

Comprehensive

Clear, showing life affirming energy of your values. Video with critical friends, pictures in class show your optimism and joy for( life- long) learning and strengthens your real accounts. As well, your narratives show how you developed during the action research process i.e. the relationships with your critical friends and committee members.

Truthfulness

There is plenty of evidence in your claims to know. Your insights and description of your living paradox- or dilemma, such as; “acting in alignment with “the very system that” contributed to my own inauthenticity” shows how you have situated yourself as a researcher in your social world preceded your intentional actions to discover your truth.

Rightness

Great description of your situation and a profound look at your self within your work setting (and beyond). Your autobiographical accounts strengthen your story and the normative assumptions that support (in your values) and inform your claim to know.

Authenticity

Over the action research process your “ontological shift” comes from great insights and self- awareness. By offering your world view; your personal mission; description of what authenticity means to you; and the multiple sources of data that shows your educational influence and learning- you have clearly articulated your desire to be authentic and live fully your values of kindness, optimism, life-long learning, relationships, democracy and social justice.

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