Roles and Boundariesin Ministry

Catherine O’Connor, CSB, Ph.D.

Covenant Health Systems Lexington, MA

Goals:

To define “boundaries” in professional ministerial relationships

To explore and clarify different kinds of boundaries

To recognize various boundary violations

To name strategies to protect and safeguard boundaries

Name examples of boundaries which come to mind

Basic Boundary - The Cell

Boundary Range

Rigid

Structured

Fluid

Chaotic

Boundary Functions

1. Protection from harm

2. Maintain integrity (Form and Shape)

3. Manage input and output

Boundaries are:

Limits which provide safety in the presence of power (e.g. speed limits, road signs, cover over electrical wiring

Limits that delineate time, place, our person (i.e.: where I leave off and the rest of the world begins)

P.B. Macke, S.J, Human Development, Spring 1993

Boundary Development

Natural sense of boundaries

Family of Origin

Culture

Society

Professional Standards

Personal vs. Professional Relationships

Personal relationship is private, although lived out in public arena. Exists to meet any of one’s primary emotional, spiritual, sexual needs

Professional relationship is public and has a social responsibility. Exists within context of external standards, and has expectation that one acts in best interest of recipient of service

ME OTHER

SUBMISSIVE

Personal Boundary

ME OTHER

AGGRESSIVE

Personal Boundary

ME OTHER

ASSERTIVE IMPACT

Personal Boundary

ME OTHER

DEFEND

Personal Boundary

The Flow of Intimacy

Merged

CLOSE SEPARATE

Balance of Power

On a scale of 1-7, potential of boundary

violation?

Balance of Power

A 15 year old female Vietnamese immigrant

with limited English skills; and her 46 year

old white pastor.

Balance of Power

A 29 year old African-American male teacher,

who is in crisis over the recent death of his

brother, and his 32 year old African-American

priest.

Balance of Power

A 25 year old white male who has discovered

his wife is drunk most evenings and hidesalcohol around the house – he knows

littleabout addictions or the treatment

optionsavailable – and the 35 year old white

femalepastoral minister at his church to whom

he goes for advice.

Balance of Power

A 40 year old female, white president of the

parish council, who attends a finance meeting

with the 42 year old Asian male pastor of

the parish.

Purpose of Professional Relationships

A Covenant of Protection

Specific Professional Groups:

Medicine

Law

Religion

Teaching

Psychotherapy

Fiduciary Responsibility

A duty to act with the highest degree of honesty, loyalty and in the best interests of the beneficiary

Ministry as a Profession Is a vocation

Renders a specialized service

Possesses and uses specialized knowledge and understanding, requires education & skills

Is accountable to those served, and appropriate authorities

Uses power and authority in best interest of those served, not in self-interest

Power

Authority

Power & Authority for Ministry

Natural Gifts/Personal Talent

Calling and ratification by external body

Training

Credentials

Contract/Endorsement for Ministry

Symbolic Role

Professional Ministry is:

Performed by ordained and lay members of the Christian community

Equally professional when performed by a non-ordained person

Different from the ministry of the members of the community to one another

Role of Boundaries

Boundaries exist for the sake of vulnerable people

Boundaries provide for the management of Care and Ethics in Pastoral Relationships

Unique Aspect of Boundaries in Ministry

Dual Relationships

vs.

Overlapping relationships

Professional Restraint

Responsibility to refrain from using pastoral relationship to satisfy our desire for attention, acceptance , pleasure, profit or prestige

Definition of Boundary Violation

A boundary violation is anything that alters the limits that allow for a safe connection based on the needs of the one being served

Boundary Violation

Boundary violation does not lie in the intention of the person who has power and authority in the situation, but in the perception of the person who is the recipient

Vignettes

Does vignette touch on dual relationship or boundaries? If boundaries, is it verbal, emotional, or physical? At what point could a potential problem have been averted?

Vignettes

A father of one of the children you are working with often comes to you with complaints about his wife. You listen and try to be supportive. His visits become more and more frequent and he invites you to lunch because, he says he finds these encounters so supportive.

Vignettes

A woman comes to you in grief as she tells you about the death of her sister whom she cared for during a long illness. You went through a similar experience with your mother and are deeply moved by the woman’s account of her experience. You spontaneously go over to the woman and being to rub her shoulders.

Vignettes

You are a massage therapist. A friend requests your services, paying the regular fee. You set up a series of appointments, but after the third appointment, your friend does not appear and has not cancelled the appointment. You inform her that you charge for missed appointments. She is upset, assuming that your friendship takes precedent over your policy.

Vignettes

A new assistant is hired at the parish. You frequently tease him about his good looks and that the women in the parish may find him “too sexy” to resist. You enjoy teasing him, but he is obviously uncomfortable with your teasing.

Vignettes

You have formed a very close relationship with one of the young adults of the opposite gender with whom you minister. This person often visits you in your home where there is no “private” space for visiting. You invite this person to visit in your bedroom for the sake of privacy.

Vignettes

Other? An experience you’ve had or been aware of....

G. Kline, OP, LPC

Transference and Countertransference

Transference: The re-enactment of past

emotional relationships in a current

relationship

Countertransference: The professional’s

emotional reaction to the patient

Occupational Boundary Hazards

1. Idealized (Divinized) Vocation

2. Multiple Roles with Diffuse Boundaries

3. Reduced Accountability Structures

4. Over-Exposed to Human Needs

5. Under-Nurtured in Own Needs

Common Standards - Code of Ethics

101.1 Gives expression to the basic values and standards of the profession

101.2 Guides decision-making & professional behavior

101.3 Provides a mechanism for professional accountability

101.4 Informs the public regarding expectation

of Spiritual Care Professionals

Prevention of Boundary Violations

Know the limits of your competence Set appropriate limits on ministerial

contacts Be aware of sexual feelings Engage in stress management and self-care Avoid dual relationship Attend to personal relationships & intimacy

needs Avoid workaholism and burnout Supervision/Counseling/Spiritual Direction Avoid Isolation