Rich GallagherPoint of Contact Group

www.pointofcontactgroup.com

Teach you to be “nice” Convince you to have “a

good attitude” Discuss basic courtesy

skills your mother should have taught you when you were six years old

Teach you how to communicate with confidence and leadership -particularly in your very worst customer situations with◦ Students◦ Parents◦ Faculty members◦ Or anyone else

How to banish criticism - by "leaning into" it with gusto!

How to deliver bad news How to keep arrogant, entitled

people from intimidating you Trigger phrases to never say Grounding angry outbursts

with the skill of a bomb squad

A new student just saw her dorm room for the first time… and she absolutely hates it. What do you say first?

A) “I’m sorry” B) “We did the best we could” C) “Sounds like this didn’t work

at all for you! Please tell me more about what you didn’t like.”

D) “Let me talk to my department head”

Reflective listening: Hand their complaint back to them

Use “Wow” words Steal all their good lines Never defend yourself first

Paraphrase the other person◦ “So you were hoping to avoid

getting an early morning class”◦ “You wanted someone to fix the

A/C a lot sooner” Lets them know you heard

and processed what they said The more you use you own

words, the better

Don’t minimize the other person’s concerns – be right there with them emotionally◦ Bad: “So it sounds like you had a little problem”◦ Good: “Wow, this sounded horrible! This must

have been really inconvenient.” Not the same as admitting fault or giving in

to demands People who feel heard calm down and stop

fighting

Worried about what a customer might say? Get there first!◦ “You are probably worried about how this

situation will affect your daughter’s education”◦ “You obviously want to be made whole from this

situation”◦ “You were hoping this would turn out differently”

Pre-emptive responses defuse anger and frustration

Use the “look up, look down” rule: you want the customer’s head nodding up and down first before you explain or defend yourself

It’s OK to give your side of the story. Just don’t do it first!

A faculty member wants you to do the impossible – and drop everyone else’s work to do it! How do you respond?

A) “I can’t possibly get this done that soon”

B) “Sounds like you’ve got a big deadline. Let’s look at some options”

C) “Here is the best I can do” D) “You should have told me

about this a lot sooner”

Acknowledgement Reframing Delivering bad news

Observation: Observe the other person’s feelings and reactions◦ “I can see how upset you are”

Validation: Acknowledge the other person’s feelings are valid. This always involves describing other people◦ “No one likes missing a deadline”

Identification: Identify with the other person’s feelings◦ “Situations like these would bother me too”

Using language to make things palatable or open dialogue

Examples:◦ Costs: “expensive” versus “a typical fee”◦ Schedule: “this will happen within 72 hours”

versus “you will have to wait three days”◦ Policies: “30 day limit” versus “one month grace

period” Never “reframe” a customer’s feelings

Deliver bad news in three stages:◦ A introduction that prepares the

listener to hear something important

◦ A summary that gives the customer plenty of details

◦ An empathetic response to anything the customer throws back at you.

The what? The Low Probability Face-Saving Alternative

OK to propose this as long as you explain that it is low probability

Examples:◦ “We don’t usually do this, but let me check with

my manager first”◦ “Before we completely give up on this situation,

there is one last thing we might try”

The father of one of your students is always rude, demanding, and picky – and calls frequently! How do you deal with him?

A) Set boundaries B) Ignore his temper C) Put him on hold a lot D) Learn to speak his

language

Accept a customer's self-importance

Use "fogging" to deflect their criticism

Under-react to their threats

Giving orders◦ "You'll have to …“; “You should have …”;

“Did you …”; “I need this form signed.” Catch phrases

◦ “I understand”; “Calm down”; “Who knows” Setup phrases

◦ “I hate to say this”; “Let me be honest”; “I don’t know what to tell you”; “What can I say?”

Acknowledge: use the highest “octane level” possible

Ask: Use good questions to calm the other person down

Alternatives: Frame options in terms of what you can do

Some situations go beyond the bounds of good communications skills◦ Extreme anger, abuse,

mental illness, etc. Have a safety plan Train everyone and get

them on board