resolving conflict as a small group leader mark naylor [email protected] fellowship international...
TRANSCRIPT
Resolving Conflict as a Small Group Leader
Mark [email protected]
Fellowship International Northwest Baptist Seminary
1. Ministers of Reconciliation2. What is a crucial conversation:
Opinions vary Stakes are high Emotions run strong
3. Flight or fight; silence or violence
Crucial conversations
1. Ministers of Reconciliation2. What is a crucial conversation:
Opinions vary Stakes are high Emotions run strong
3. Flight or fight; silence or violence4. Key skill: Dialogue
Crucial conversations
1. Who is responsible to hold a crucial conversation? I am
2. When should I hold a crucial conversation? Whenever possible. Instead of saying “That’s not that important,” get into the practice of looking for, welcoming and addressing any and all issues to practice.
3. Have crucial conversations about crucial conversations. Take ownership and encourage each other to hold crucial conversations.
Practices to Cultivate
Work on yourself first Be self-aware
Step Back (Mentally) Acknowledge the reality (Mentally) Focus on what you really want
Avoid the fool’s choice The elusive “AND”
Start with Heart
Style under stress
My Crucial Conversations Skills Score
GOAL: Keep in dialogue Learn to Look: Interpret conflict and tension
as lack of safety Tool 1: Step out of the conversation Decide Which Condition of Safety Is at Risk
Mutual Purpose. Mutual Respect
Apologize When Appropriate Tool 2: Contrast to Fix Misunderstanding
Creating Safety
Retrace Your Path Notice your behavior. Get in touch with your feelings. Analyze your stories
Tell the rest of the story Turn victims into actors. Turn villains into humans. Turn the helpless into the able.
Master your Stories
Share your facts Tell your story Ask for others' paths Talk tentatively Encourage testing
Tool 3: STATE your path
AMPP:
Ask Mirror Paraphrase Prime
Tool 4: Listening with AMPP
ABC: Agree, build, contrast1. Remember your goal
– which is what?
2. Agree: Not with what you disagree with, but find common ground.
3. Build: Discuss the bigger issues that encompass both the areas you agree and disagree.
4. Contrast: NOT disagree.
Tool 5: Listening with ABC
1. Who is responsible to hold a crucial conversation? I am
2. When should I hold a crucial conversation? Whenever possible. Instead of saying “That’s not that important,” get into the practice of looking for, welcoming and addressing any and all issues to practice.
3. Have crucial conversations about crucial conversations. Take ownership and encourage each other to hold crucial conversations.
Practices to Cultivate