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Raising Resilient Children

Conducted by [Practitioner Name]

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Today’s Agenda

• Overview of Triple P

• Highlights from Seminars 1 & 2

• Emotional resilience in children

• Building blocks for success

• Take home messages

• Question time

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Overview of Triple P

• Triple P = Positive Parenting Program

• Developed in Australia

• 30 years of research

• Used in 22 countries

• Local program sponsored by First 5

Santa Cruz County

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Triple P Services

• Seminars: General parenting information

– The Power of Positive Parenting

– Raising Confident, Competent Children

– Raising Resilient Children

• Workshops: Brief help with specific and

common parenting issues

• Groups: Brief (4 sessions) or In-depth (8

sessions)

• One on One Consultations : Brief (1-4

sessions) or In-depth (10 sessions)

• Additional Triple P Support

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Seminar 1: 5 Principles

1. Creating a safe, interesting

environment

2. Having a positive learning

environment

3. Using assertive discipline

4. Having realistic expectations

5. Taking care of yourself

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Seminar 2: Building blocks

Showing respect to

others

Being considerate

Having good communication and social skills

Having healthy self-esteem

Becoming a good problem

solver

Becoming independent

Raising confident, competent children

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Emotional resilience

Emotional resilience is the ability to:

• recognize and accept feelings

• express feelings in appropriate ways

• face and resolve difficult situations

• cope with stressful or upsetting

situations

These abilities are related to children‟s

development

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Importance of resilience

• Children need to learn to cope with

everyday feelings and difficult situations

• Some children experience very stressful

life events

• Ability to cope with feelings is related to

– social skills and relationships

– tolerance and compassion

– coping with life experiences

– prevention of emotional problems

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Emotionally resilient children are:

• caring and socially skilled

• empathic and sensitive

• able to manage their feelings

• able to cope with stress or unpleasant

experiences

• less likely to resort to unhelpful ways of

coping

Benefits for children

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Building blocks

Recognising and accepting

feelings

Expressing feelings

appropriately

Building a positive outlook

Developing coping skills

Dealing with negative feelings

Dealing with stressful life

events

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Building block 1

Recognizing and accepting feelings

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Developmental changes

Children gradually:

• learn to recognize and understand their

emotions and those of others

• become aware of different feelings

• learn the words to describe their feelings

• develop more complex feelings

These changes are related to their

language, thinking and

experiences

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What parents can do

• Accept that ups and downs are normal

• Talk about feelings

• Be emotionally expressive

• Share feelings appropriately

• Help your child recognize and name

emotions

• Encourage your child to be emotionally

expressive

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Building block 2

Expressing feelings appropriately

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Expressing emotions

• What emotional expression is OK – words

– expressions

– actions

• When to express feelings – to whom

– how often

– how much

• What emotional expression is not OK

• Family and cultural expectations

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Traps for parents

• Talking too much about own feelings

• Dwelling on upsets

• Showing too much interest in feelings

• Being overly sympathetic or encouraging

avoidance

• Over-reacting to minor upsetting events

• Not giving enough attention to

other behavior

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Talking about feelings

• Ask how your child feels

• Listen to what they say

• Summarize what they say

• Avoid telling your child how they should feel

• Read stories and talk about the characters‟ feelings

• Help your child recognize feelings in others

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Encouraging children

• Give your child positive attention for

expressing feelings in appropriate ways

– positive feelings

– negative feelings

• Congratulate your child for managing

difficult situations

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Dealing with problems

• Use consistent discipline

– tell your child to stop

– acknowledge their feelings

– give a brief explanation

– tell your child what to do instead

– use back up consequences if needed

• Model better ways of expressing

feelings

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Building block 3

Building a positive outlook

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A positive outlook

Having a positive outlook can involve:

• optimistic thinking

• curiosity and exploration

• contentment

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Encouraging optimism

• Model being optimistic

• Encourage goals

• Encourage initiative and creativity

• Encourage activities where your child

will experience success

• Show how your child has control over

events

• Point out what your child does well

• Talk about the „good side‟

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Encouraging curiosity

• Encourage your child to decide what to

do

• Let your child explore and show your

interest

• Be available when your child wants to

show you something

• Ask questions and make comments

• Help your child learn how to find more

information

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Encouraging contentment

• Model being appreciative and grateful

• Ask about the day‟s highlights

• Have shared family experiences

• Discuss other people‟s point of view

• Discuss accepting things that can‟t be changed

• Foster involvement in meaningful activities

• Encourage your child to slow down and take in their world

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Building block 4

Developing coping skills

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Coping skills

• Problem solving

• Positive self-talk

• Talking back to unhelpful thoughts

• Relaxing mentally and physically

• Asking for help and support

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Helping problem solving

• Set a good example

• Play games that promote thinking

• Encourage your child to find answers

• Prompt your child to work at solving

problems

• Congratulate your child when they

solve a problem on their own

• Involve your child in family problem

solving

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Problem solving steps

• Define the problem

• Come up with solutions

• Evaluate the options

• Decide on the best solution

• Put the plan into action

• Review how it worked and revise the

plan if necessary

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Building positive self-talk

• Ask your child to evaluate their own

achievements

• Explain how thinking different ways

affects how you feel

• Prompt your child to think about what

others might think or feel

• Point out helpful and unhelpful thinking

• Model using positive self-talk to

cope with stress

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Helping children relax

• Provide a good model of how to

manage stress

• Help children find ways to relax that

work for them

• Relaxation strategies include:

– taking slow, deep breaths

– relaxing their muscles

– listening to a relaxation tape or calming

music

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Looking for support

• Discuss how everyone needs to talk

• Talk about how you get support from

others

• Help children find someone to talk to:

– a close family member

– a trusted friend

– a school teacher

– a counsellor

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Building block 5

Dealing with negative feelings

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Negative emotions

• All children have negative emotions

• Parents cannot completely protect

children from these feelings

• Many emotions pass quickly

• Parents can calmly assist and prompt

problem solving

• Parents can help children learn to

resolve negative feelings on their own

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Managing emotions

• Notice when your child is upset

• Ask what is wrong and listen

• Summarize what you have heard

• Acknowledge their feelings

• Ask what they want to do

• Ask how you can help

• Prompt problem solving

• If upset continues, suggest „cooling off‟

• Stay calm yourself

• Make a time to talk later

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Preparing for emotions

Help your child learn to cope on their own, for example, with anxiety

• Set a good example

• Talk about anxious feelings

• Teach your child coping strategies

• Encourage facing fears gradually

• Stay calm

• Prompt coping strategies

• Praise your child‟s efforts

• Talk about dangerous situations

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Building block 6

Dealing with stressful events

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Stressful life events

• Change

• Problems with peers

• Major disappointment

• Unpleasant experiences

• Loss

• Marital separation or divorce

• Joining a new family

• Trauma or serious illness

• Natural disasters

• Terrifying experiences

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Coping with life events

• Allow your child to be upset

• Ask what happened

• Say something positive

• Reassure your child where appropriate

• Don‟t feel you have to solve the problem

• Suggest something to cheer your child up

• Check later

• Encourage use of coping skills

• Seek advice if the problem continues

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• Explain why the move is necessary

• Familiarize your child with the new

situation

• Talk about the advantages

• Get your child involved

• Maintain routines as much as possible

• Help your child keep in touch with

friends

Example: moving house

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Example: dealing with loss

• Consider your child‟s developmental level

• Reassure your child where appropriate

• Encourage appropriate expression of

feelings

• Provide information

• Maintain routines as much as possible

• Arrange a child carer if the loss affects you

• Talk about feelings, coping,

memories

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Take home messages

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Take home messages

• The foundations for emotional resilience

are laid in early childhood

• Emotional skills are important for

happiness, wellbeing and success in life

• Children learn a lot about managing

their emotions from parents

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Take home messages

Parents can help children learn to:

• recognize and accept feelings

• express feelings in appropriate ways

• develop a positive outlook and coping

skills

• deal with negative feelings and

stressful life events

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Tip Sheet

• Review it with your partner or by

yourself.

• Review it this week!

• Choose one strategy you learned

today to try at home.

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Next Steps

• Attend the next seminar [insert date]

• Contact [insert name] for more services

[insert info]

• Contact First 5 Santa Cruz County for

more services (831) 465-2217 or

sbluford@first5scc.org or visit

www.first5scc.org

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Stay Connected

“Like” us on Facebook!

www.facebook.com/triplepscc

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Question time

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Positive Parenting…

Small changes, Big differences