Included in this issue:Resident News, Seniors' Humour, Homeless Humour, Poetry, Photos, Line Art,

Gripes, Comings and Goings, Rumours and Stories.

Contributions by: Rolf M., Paul I., Kermit M., Sabina L.

STAFF AND RESIDENTS OF THE BIRCHMOUNT RESIDENCE are invited

to contribute articles to our NEWSLETTER "THE RACCOON RAGG "Suggested Topics of Interest might be………….

RESIDENT NEWS 250 words or lessRUMOUR there are always rumours floating around this place.SHORT STORIES fact or fiction , past, present or future.NEW RULESHUMOUR Some days everything is funny.SATIRE POETRY LINE DRAWINGSCOOKING AND RECIPES [do not try any of these]HEALTH AND WELLNESSGRIPES 10 words or lessMUSINGS OF SERIOUSLY DISTURBED PEOPLEWANT ADS 12 WORDS OR LESSThere will be no paid advertising and the EDITOR'S decisions are final.

Seniors Humour

Hard of Hearing

Morris, an 82-year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm.

A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?" Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doctor, 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'" The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said you got a heart mummer and be careful."

Resident NewsCouncillors want more time to help keep shelters openFacilities located in Scarborough, North York and downtown

Councillors want more time to help keep shelters open. Residents, staff and friends of the Birchmount Residence gather to celebrate the annual Christmas tree lighting in Scarborough recently. The residence is facing the possibility of closure due to city budget cutbacks.

Staff photo/NICK PERRY

Three city councillors, encouraged by expressions of support for transitional shelters in their wards, are working to get them eleventh-hour reprieves next month from a budget cut that would close them. The Birchmount Residence in Scarborough, Bellwoods House downtown and Downsview Dells in North York are all satellites of the city's Seaton House shelter for the homeless, but the city calls the satellites transitional housing programs, not shelters. Supporters of the three facilities who wrote to Mayor Rob Ford this month received a letter, signed by the mayor, which argues the province's health ministry, and not the city, should fund the programs. Toronto's draft budget calls for their closures to start in 2012, and it will take almost $1 million next year to keep them open.

Churches in Birch Cliff, a Scarborough neighbourhood that for 12 years has been home to the 60-bed Birchmount and its residents - older men who have spent time in Toronto's shelter system - have risen to its defence. "A decision to close the Birchmount Men's Residence will greatly impact the lives of a group of our most vulnerable citizens, and certainly not for their good," said a statement signed by clergy at six churches along Kingston Road in Scarborough. Leslee Alfano, pastor of a seventh area church, said members of her congregation also signed a letter sent to the mayor this month. "It puts a cloud over Christmas as far as I'm concerned," Jeff Atkins, chairperson for the group of Scarborough churches, the Birch Cliff-Cliffside Ministerial, as well as a pastor in training at Scarborough Baptist Church said last week. The building, a former nursing home the city leases, needs work, he acknowledged, but described the struggle over the residence as "money versus people." On Friday, Scarborough Southwest Councillor Gary Crawford said he is working with Mike Layton, a downtown councillor whose ward includes Bellwoods, on a strategy to keep the residences open and unchanged for at least this year. "We need a bit of breathing room," Crawford said. Though many from Birchmount move on to other housing, some have stayed at the residence since it opened and other have left only to return, said Crawford, adding he is not comfortable with the city's suggestion all current residents can be placed in appropriate homes. "Some of the men have been there many years because there is no (other) place for them." Layton said women at Bellwoods play an active role in the life of local churches. Many in the neighbourhood know residents of the 10-bed shelter for women with histories of mental illness, and have lately come forward to support them, he added. "Our community is quite happy to have them stay." Finding new sources of money to support the residences can't be done before Toronto Council votes on the budget next month; the city will have to pay the cost until a permanent solution for the facilities is found, Layton said. Scarborough Southwest MPP Lorenzo Berardinetti, a former councillor whose wife, Michelle Berardinetti, is a member of the city's budget committee, said the Birchmount Residence is an important part of the community and should stay open. The Liberal MPP suggested Friday the province's Local Health Integration Networks, which fund health-care institutions in the city, are the place to seek cash for the residences, and added he will write to the Central East LHIN responsible for Scarborough himself. Maria Augimeri, a North York councillor, said the 27-bed Downsview Dells, is in a tranquil setting ideal for its purpose, helping male residents recover from substance abuse or gambling addictions. She said she agrees the province should be paying to help the men with treatment for a disease - but as with many other services, the provincial government doesn't contribute a fair share to the city, Augimeri said. "When the province isn't doing its job, the municipality steps in." Augimeri, who is a member of the TTC board, also said the transit commission is appealing to the province and its LHINs to pay the costs of transporting dialysis

patients, another service the city has slated to cut in its budget.

Homeless Humour A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?" "No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied. "Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked. "No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive." "Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked. "Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!" "Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked. "What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man. "Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife." The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting." The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf, and sex."

Resident NewsChristmas Visits and Donations Councillor Gary Crawford and his family dropped in @ 5:30 PM, Friday, 23rd December bringing with them eggnog and several large trays of Christmas treats. He and his family also did a walkabout on the main and lower floors. Several families and neighbours have dropped off donations in the week preceding Christmas including 2 turkeys and bags of clothing. Alex helped co-ordinate a large donation by the family of Kenneth Fung. Winter coats and cookies were distributed by the family @ 1 PM on Christmas Day. The whole family had pitched in on the packing, wrapping and cards.

Comings and Goings Allister L. and Dennis G. have both been moved to the 4th floor at Seaton House after recovering from their hospital stay – both doing well. Henry is doing well in the 3rd floor infirmary at Seaton House. Hubert Mantha is also recovering from surgery and is expecting to move into his new apartment downtown shortly.Doug B. has paid several visits after settling in to his new home on Warden Ave.Karl was admitted to Toronto East General Hospital on the 24th December.

Resident NewsUpcoming City Hall Budget Vote At the present time ( Dec 24th ), the possibilities for the outcome of the budget vote on January 17th to 19th is still up in the air. There are 44 votes on city council. Since the election, 20 of those votes have stuck with Mayor Ford's fiscal policies and 16 left-leaning councillors have consistently opposed the mayor's policies. That leaves 8 "swing" voters. One of these, the councillor from Scarborough East has come out lately as strongly opposed to the proposed cuts. Therefore the left should now have 17 votes. If Councillor Crawford, who is a conservative, is opposed to the closing of the Birchmount Residence, then the right's vote is reduced to 19. Therefore, of the remaining 7 swing votes, 5 of the 7 must oppose the closing in order to win the vote. If clauses of the budget can be dealt with on an individual basis there is a good chance that the closing of Birchmount can be stopped. However, if the budget must be accepted ( or not ) as a whole, then again the outcome of Birchmount is in the air.

Gripes Trying to eat rice with those damned

plastic forks. Those spinach leaves in the salad

have absolutely no flavour or texture.

PoetryIn Memory of a Friend

Each of us has heard,The biography of Tom.He would spit out a storyLike he was singing a song.So I pray the only thing has changed…He's on a Golden PalominoOn Heaven's Range. See you later Tom Kermit Dec 27, 2011

Resident NewsContributed by Sabina Lorkowski

ctvtoronto.caDate: Tuesday Dec. 27, 2011 12:52 PM ET

Looking ahead to what's expected to be a showdown in Toronto's council chambers, Mayor

Rob Ford said he's confident in the city's proposed 2012 operating budget…Fixing his gaze on the more immediate future, Ford said he's certain that he's living up to his vow to "respect the taxpayers" with the 2012 draft budget.The plan -- which includes the closure of three shelters, endorses a TTC fare hike, trims the workforce by more than 2,000 jobs and calls for $4.6-million cut from community grants – is said to feature about $355 million in savings……The mayor has been met with vocal opposition to his quest for "efficiencies." Grassroots groups have formed to call for an end to proposed service reductions, deputants have filed into city hall for round-the-clock meetings. Even literary icon Margaret Atwood has weighed in on the question of library closures. Like those stakesholders, Sabina Lorkowski's frustration with Ford is personal. The seniors advocate holds power of attorney over a resident at the Birchmount Shelter, a residence for vulnerable men that is on Ford's chopping block. "Why is he picking on the vulnerable ones? There must be other ways to do this," she said in a phone interview.For his part, Ford said he's secure with his drive toward privatization and prudent management style – qualities that have led him to brand 2011 as a successful year at city hall. "We've done what people wanted us to do – reducing the size and cost of the government was the most important thing."

This is what I said: It is unacceptable to ask the vulnerable ones to give up the only home and family they know.  Why should they give up there home and family when there are people like the CEO of ORANGE making $1.4 million dollars a year? There are so many places to start cutting back to save money but does anyone ever have the nerve to start there? I am a stakeholder and to see what I see when I arrive at Birchmount Shelter is a once in a live time experience.  The family love that these men give. The respect they show to one another but most of all the love, caring and respect they have to any outsider.  This family is united and united we will stand.  Mr. Ford, I would like you to come by to Birchmount Shelter to see with your own eyes and hear with your own ears what it is like to give up the only family that some of these seniors have ever known. Sincerely,

Sabina

Photos

Royal Young Market Budget CommitteeSatellite image of 1673 Kingston Rd

Tree Lighting Ceremony December 12

Sam bringing sound equipment Cat nap in Christmas foyer

Find:

Tony C.DonnaPaddyBrian M.AmjadSteve P.GabrielD. CrawfordDavid S.Tom H.Paddy's sister & fatherKarlAntonio G.Allan M.ReubenGerald

Edwin on the lobby telephone

StoriesWord Play by Rolf M.

This is a conversation which took place in a homeless shelter for old men in the heart of Toronto on Nov. 23, 2009. Davis is a homeless guy with some emotional mental problems. Earl is an old farmer who has lost his

position and ended up at the same shelter. Davis is really excited to share some news with his friend Earl. He's holding a sheaf of papers……

Davis…"Earl, I got some great news! All day the CBC radio has been talking about a new government program to study homelessness and its centred around Seaton House. The radio says about 2500 participants will be chosen and half of them will get housing and half of them won't.

Earl…"I'll flip you for the apartment. What's all that paper-work you got?"

Davis…"I told my counselor I wanted to find out about this new study and he got me this stuff off the computer. Here's a fancy speech by some honourable guy telling about the program and how they got 110 Million Dollars to do the study. The money is split five ways so Seaton House must be getting 22 and a half Million, so if the split is equal that means about five hundred homeless people here in Toronto will be part of the study and half of them will get subsidised housing."

Earl…"Ya, but what about the other half? How do they get compensated?"

Davis…I guess they'll just be happy to be studied. Maybe they'll put names in a hat. Not everyone can win the lottery you know.

Earl…"What else does that paper say about it?"Davis…"It says the Toronto portion of the study will focus on homelessness among ethnic minorities."

Earl…"Well, that lets out everybody we know. How many guys at Seaton House do you think will qualify?"

Davis…"I met a Gypsy guy the other day who couldn't speak English, then there's Joe the Pollock and I think Vladomir is some kind of Russian. Oh, Look at this! The honourable guy who made this fancy speech did it over a year and a half ago and they already had the hundred ten million at that time. So why the big media fuss to-day?"

Earl…"Davey, You have to be an old farmer to get the real picture. The lag time means that all the money's already been 'allocated'. All the big salaries have been locked in for four years, most of them in the six figure range. Here in Toronto the program is called 'AT HOME'. That means the carefully chosen

participants are immigrants who've already qualified and been placed in supportive housing. The supportive part of their rents is charged against the pot. They've already been interviewed several times in the qualification process with lots of carefully designed questions pertinent to the study. Then from time to time they're interviewed by their workers during the four years of the study with the social worker's wages charged against the program. That accounts for almost all the rest of the money.

Davis…"But that only covers half the study. What about the half that didn't get supportive housing?"

Earl…"Well that’s where you and I come in. For this part they hire a bunch of students at minimum wage with detailed questionnaires to interview you and me. The counselor to-day offered me a ten dollar MacDonald's coupon if I would participate. That's a pretty good deal."

Davis…"Ahh, You're making all this up. What about all those good words in that speech by the honourable guy in charge of the study?"

Earl…"That's what they call 'The Marketing Plan'. Just shut up and eat your Happy Meal."Davis…"Doesn't the study have to produce a credible report in the end?"

Earl…"Well of course. That's where the year and a half lag time comes in again. The designers of the study will Mine all the collected data and come up with all the conclusions that they wanted. They'll find that the problems are very complex and that there are no easy solutions. There'll be a volumous report framing the same questions in different language which will lay the groundwork for the design of another study.

Davis…"So where's the benefit of the hundred ten million?" Earl…"Just eat your Happy Meal. Save some for the pigeons."

Christmas Lunch

Cribbage

Seniors Humour Two elderly gentlemen are playing cards

on Saturday evening just as they have done for the past 50 years.

Gus, the elder, had been having problems remembering what cards were what, and usually needed help from his wife. At the end of the card game Red said to Gus, "You did very good tonight. You didn't need any help at all. Why is that?" Gus replied, "Why, ever since my wife sent me to that memory school, I haven't had any problems at all." "Memory school? What memory school?" Gus thought for a moment, "Oh, what's that flower that's red with thorns? A really pretty flower . . . ""A rose?" asked Red."Yeah, that's it!" Gus turned to his wife and mumbled, "Hey, Rose! What's the name of that memory school you sent me to?"

One evening, two old men from a retirement home were sitting on the front porch of the retirement home. One man said to the other old man, "You know, Albert, if you think about it, we are not that old. I mean, my memory is still very good."

As the man said this, he knocked on the wooden chair beside him. "Actually, as sharp as ever." After a couple minutes of silence, the first man started to talk again, "So, is anyone going to get the door, or do I have to do it?"

From the NewspaperWho funds biggest project ever to house the homeless? StephenHarper

Khusrow Mahvan, 54, stands in his apartment in Toronto on Thursday, Dec. 1, 2011. Mahvan has been given a rent-subsidized home through a giant federal research experiment into how to best help the homeless.

NATHAN DENETTE/THE CANADIAN PRESS

Heather Scoffield The Canadian Press

TORONTO — The federal government’s response to the Attawapiskat housing crisis may well have underscored Stephen Harper’s reputation for his hard line rather than his heart, with his focus on the aboriginal reserve’s financial problems, not its social ones.But in other parts of the country, the prime minister’s government is also quietly bankrolling one of the largest social pilot projects ever seen in Canada, paying generously for cutting-edge research that is changing the lives of hundreds of homeless people.The project may scream out for a new, national social program — the kind that has been anathema to Harper in the past.

But it is producing results that suggest federal involvement in funding homes for the homeless can be smart and save money.The At Home/Chez Soi pilot project is now half way through its five-year life span, backed by $110 million of federal money channelled through the Mental Health Commission of Canada.It’s the most comprehensive research experiment with homelessness in Canada, if not the world, researchers say.And it’s working.“We now have enough experience to know this can be done,” says Paula Goering, lead researcher for the project.The pilot project has its origins in the political dust-up of 2006. With Paul Martin’s minority Liberal government on life support, NDP leader Jack Layton demanded billions in federal funding for housing and homelessness. The bargain eventually broke down, but left behind a mounting public concern that homelessness had been ignored for too long.“Somebody needed to do something,” recalls Michael Kirby, now the chair of the Mental Health Commission and a former Liberal senator.The Conservative government agreed to set up a program through the newly-minted Mental Health Commission, pushed by then-health minister Tony Clement and Finance Minister Jim Flaherty. As is Harper’s style, it was to be finely-targeted, one-time funding.But top government officials, in touch with Goering and other researchers on the front lines, argued that homelessness was a growing scourge in every major city. And they saw a new approach in the parts of the United States that seemed to be producing results: dramatic reductions in homelessness, all while saving money on social services, and law enforcement.The approach, known as “housing first”, rejects the traditional method of trying to fix homeless people’s underlying problems before guiding them towards affordable housing. Instead, the home comes first — heavily subsidized and with no strings attached. Then, a support team swoops in and bombards the homeless people with services of all kinds, if they want them.The government was not about to embrace an experimental approach to the homeless wholesale. Instead, taking their cue from Harper, officials decided to zero in on a subgroup: the mentally ill.

Then they narrowed their focus further. In five cities across the country, they targeted a particularly vulnerable sector of the mentally ill homeless population. In Vancouver, it was substance abusers. In Winnipeg, urban aboriginals. In Toronto, visible minorities. In Moncton, migrants from rural areas. And in Montreal, access to social housing was emphasized.At Home staff and partners in each city scour alleys and sidewalks for homeless people who fit the bill and funnel the willing into the program. They are divided into two groups: a new-approach group and a control group of treatment-as-usual, so the results can be compared.Khusrow Mahvan was one of those selected and he can hardly believe his luck. The 54-year-old from Iran had been living on the street or in shelters since his business had gone bankrupt in 1997.Hypersensitive, he purposely isolated himself, cowering in the corners and shying away from the frequent conflict, the noise and the chaos that dominates shelter life.“I was always thinking I was going to die,” he says.Now, he has a spotless one-bedroom apartment overlooking Lake Ontario in Toronto. He talks at length of the spices and flavours he adds to his food, thoroughly treasuring the ability to cook for himself for the first time in years.“Until two weeks ago …. I couldn’t open my eyes,” he says, covering his face with his hands.Still unaccustomed to living in a home, he sleeps on the floor in the living room, and uses the bed and bedroom for storage of his life’s belongings, stuffed into countless garbage bags.“I like the wideness of this place,” he says.In his lucid moments, he talks of developing enough independence to set up a fast-food stand on the street below, hoping to rebuild some savings.Out in suburban Scarborough, Elizabeth Bennett meticulously organized and hung up a few dozen sketches she has finished, and decorated her tiny new apartment for Christmas. Her Bible and a small backpack are never far from her side, even while relaxing in her home.She has spent the past few years in and out of shelters and various lodgings, struggling to gain control of her schizophrenia and deal with a former landlord who threatened her family and wanted to “keep” her.Now, she has privacy, a strong support network, friends in the church nearby, and a sense of home.

“As long as I’m inside, I feel safe,” she says. “I feel safe because of my prayer, and because of the security on the door.”A common criticism of the housing-first approach to homelessness is that it can’t work in a tight housing market, where landlords can afford to be picky about their tenants.Core to the idea is to give homeless people a choice in their home, so they can have some control over living conditions. But that’s hard if there’s not much rental housing available, says York University professor Stephen Gaetz, who heads the Canadian Homelessness Research Network.“The challenge is that in a tight housing market, if there isn’t an adequate supply of housing, how do you get people in?”But the At Home clients come with ample support and funding attached, as well as a plan to prevent eviction. Often, they’re less trouble than regular tenants, says Paula McDougall, the office manager at a building in a gritty part of north Toronto.The At Home people pay their rent on time, she says, and they are coached on how to live in harmony with their neighbours. McDougall stays in touch with the case workers, and although she has no formal training in dealing with mental illness herself, she has had enough experience to know what to do if someone goes off their meds or causes trouble.“I’m not pussyfooting around them,” she says in an interview in the ground floor staff room that doubles as a smoking room.At Home has been able to place everyone approached so far. As of November, the program was fully subscribed, with 1,030 homeless people now in homes and a control group of 980 people.“At any time, 70 to 80 per cent of the clients are doing really well,” says Aseefa Sarang, executive director of Across Boundaries, a Toronto mental health organization that is heading up implementation of At Home in that city.That’s an astounding success rate for a problem that has been the bane of many a government policy.Nationally, almost all of those 1,030 people have stayed housed, although about 30 per cent have switched to different homes along the way. Most of them have moved on to the next step, working with professionals to design a support system that will help them cope and teach them to live more independently in the long run, says Goering.

“It makes it easier for people if they’re not surrounded by others who have the same problems,” she says.“It’s a pioneering and risqué approach that doesn’t work for everyone …. But in most cases, they are housing people, and they are staying housed.”Organizers have also been able to line up social service partners in every city, successfully setting up the support network that is crucial to making the approach work, she adds.Researchers are slowly figuring out, in a methodical way, where the housing-first model does not work or needs to be modified, she says. Some homeless people feel too isolated to be living in their own home. And some vulnerable people find their new homes taken over by drug dealers and users because they lack the skills to turn their home into a safe haven.Goering believes the amounts governments will save on prisons, shelters and emergency room use will offset the subsidies to housing. But the numbers could go the other way, she says, since some of the people who are now receiving an array of social services did not receive much before.For the case workers, the former homeless people and the landlords who have placed their faith in the program, their concerns lie in the future.They taste success, but they don’t know what will happen when the program winds down in 2013. Some of the clients will only have been housed for two years by then, and for many, that’s not enough for a stable life to take hold.The thought of pulling away support from such a large group of vulnerable people is disturbing, say facilitators.“We’ll move heaven and earth to get the funding continued,” says physician-researcher Stephen Hwang of the Centre for Research on Inner-City Health at St. Michael’s Hospital in Toronto.A nationwide program that invests big sums of upfront money in housing subsidies in the hopes of dealing with long-term issues of mental illness and homelessness will be a tough sell with the Harper government.The prime minister consistently resists calls for new national social programs and is poised to shave funding from affordable housing over the coming years.Proof the approach saves money will be crucial for government support.“Either directly (or) indirectly, mental illness has a significant impact on Canadians — in their homes, workplaces and streets. It also costs our economy billions,” Flaherty told The Canadian Press.

“We’re happy to see the progress of the Commission in tackling these issues.”For Kirby, who has dealt with more than his share of large and difficult public policy issues, there are two key questions going forward.Is the housing-first model the best way to go? Without a doubt, he says.“The second issue is, who pays for it …. It’s a real issue. There’s only one taxpayer.”When governments, both federal and provincial, see the final results, he is convinced they will see the need to take housing-first to a national scale and someone will step up with funding.“Once it’s finished, we’re going to make sure that every government in the country knows we saved them a whole pile of money,” he said. “The whole thing is unbelievably uplifting.”

Line Art

Seniors Humour

Quiz: How Old Are You Really?From the following list of 25 items, count all the ones that you remember -- not the ones you were told about! How to score yourself is at the end.1.Blackjack chewing gum 2.Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar-water 3.Candy cigarettes 4.Soda-pop machines that dispensed bottles 5.Coffee shops with tableside jukeboxes 6.Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers 7.Party lines 8.Newsreels before the movie 9.P. F. Flyers 10.Butch wax 11.Telephone numbers with a word prefix (e.g., Olive - 6933) 12.Peashooters 13.Howdy Doody 14.45-RPM records ... and 78-RPM records 15.S&H Green Stamps 16.Hi-fi systems 17.Metal ice trays with lever 18.Mimeograph paper 19.Blue flashbulb 20.Packards 21.Rollerskate keys 22.Cork popguns 23.Drive-in theaters 24.Studebakers 25.Washtub wringers

If you remembered! 0 - 5 = You're still young 6 - 10 = You are getting older 11 - 15 = Don't tell your age 16 - 25 = You're older than you think!Be sure to pass this along -- especially to all your friends with really good memories.

The Last Word I'm very thankful to the City and Birchmount Residence for providing me with food and shelter at a time when I'm not doing so well myself. I'm just an old farmer that didn't get much education so I need to put things so simple even I understand them. Mr. Brown, Ms. Longair, Ms. Smith, 'If you kill the goose it will stop laying.'

Anon.