quotes from the cyberworld - d
TRANSCRIPT
quotes: dPowers For Algernon
-The Daily Show title for coverage of President George W. Bush
At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since.
-Salvador Dali
I never did drugs because I am drugs.
-Salvador Dali
The difference between Dali and a madman is that Dali isn't mad.
-Salvador Dali
Most successful sites - Yahoo!, eBay, FedEx - are not only simply laid out, they're also butt-ugly.
-James Daly, Business 2.0
Maybe you didn't hear me. I'm a Cath-o-lic priest. Historically, that falls somewhere between chorus boy and florist.
-Father Dan Jeffrey
There has been opposition to every innovation in the history of man, with the possible exception of the sword.
-Benjamin Dana
The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who, in times of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality.
-Dante
If you're not going to kill me, I have things to do.
-Darkman
Dan, could you please send me your phone # and e-mail address. It'll make it easier to contact you after my cat presses the "stop" button on my answering machine while you're trying leave a message.
-Mike Darweesh
Ever notice how they have to distinguish between Truth, Justice, and the American Way?
-Richard Darwin
Fans are interesting things. Rush fans just can't comprehend why the rest of the world doesn't like Rush. REM fans consider the rest of the world beneath their social level to notice. Kate Bush fans love the rest of the world, and the world loves them, but spend long nights plotting to knife one another.
-Richard Darwin
Ahhh. A man with a sharp wit. Someone ought to take it away from him before he cuts himself.
-Peter da Silva
Anyone who has never hacked sendmail.cf has no soul. Anyone who has hacked it twice has no brain.
-Peter da Silva
If you don't have 36 bits, you're not playing with a full DEC.
-Peter da Silva
That was Zen. This is Tao.
-Peter da Silva
The main difference between a computer salesman and a used car salesman is that the used car salesman can probably drive and knows when he's lying.
-Peter da Silva
If you can't giggle, tickle, scream, laugh, run around the room naked, pour liquor on each other and lick it off, tie each other down, have whipped cream fights, dance and sing with each other, then you are having sex with the person too soon...
-Just Another Dave
The dreamers are the ones who conceive of what could happen and the scientists are the ones who make it happen. The best of humanity are those who combine both traits.
-Peter David
Stupidity, like virtue, is its own reward.
-Bill Davidsen
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.
-Leonardo da Vinci
And then there's three bean delight. Which word does not fit in that phrase--three, bean, or delight?
-Blake Davis
It's 106 ms to Chicago, we've got a full disk of GIFs, half a meg of hypertext, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses. Click it.
-Christopher Davis
Can you say 'Slow down for speed bumps? Hah! Floor it baby!'. You can do a lot of damage to a car if you hate it, and they let you keep it for a month.
-Owen Davis
I almost bought another car today. Stop me before I purchase again!
-Owen Davis
she turned out to be an actual budweiser girl. ...we had an interesting conversation. Not scintillating, but it kept me from being rude and focusing on her breasts.
-Owen Davis
the professors must have thought all the students were on drugs or something. sometimes it must have seemed to them like they were talking to an empty classroom. or a classroom filled with angry mimes.
-Owen Davis
You're the only person on the planet who can fail a rorschadt test.
-Owen Davis
"Deep" is a word like "theory" or "semantic" -- it implies all sorts of marvelous things. It's one thing to be able to say "I've got a theory", quite another to say "I've got a semantic theory", but, ah, those who can claim "I've got a deep semantic theory", they are truly blessed.
-Randy Davis
This article is an endless litany of bogus conclusions based on optimistic, yet flawed, assumptions.
-Steve Davis
science is not religion and it doesn't come down to just faith. Although it has many of religion's virtues, it has none of its vices. Science is based upon verifiable evidence. Religious faith not only lacks evidence, its independence from evidence is its pride and joy, shouted from the rooftops
-Richard Dawkins
Updates here will be spotty to nonexistent over the next couple of days as I'll be in New York. Yes, they do have IP tone there, but they also have large quantities of light fantastic that requires tripping.
-Keith Dawson
I have nothing against Pat Robertson being born again, but did he have to come back as himself?
-R.P.J. Day
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
-Charles de Gaulle
You say that my way of thinking cannot be tolerated? What of it? The man who alters his way of thinking to suit others is a fool. My way of thinking is the result of my reflections. It is part of my inner being, the way I am made. I do not contradict them, and would not even if I wished to. For my system, which you disapprove of, is also my greatest comfort in life, the source of all my happiness -- it means more to me than my life itself.
-Marquis de Sade
Humor him, and keep him away from those who die easily.
-Death, "Vacation From Reality"
i dont believe in the general notion of love, but thats not to say im into mechanical sex and honey, lets figure out how to look more snobbish than our friends
I invented writing. I am the _. begining and end. +n. I didn't invent typing obviously.
I know what art is. and I AM NOT TELLING.
i've met the electric hellfire club they're all flammable and that's about the sum total of their worth
"I was in the goth scene. It got lame, so now I'm a techno kid." ... This really means, "I dated a lame goth chick. Now I have concluded that all goth sucks, and have started taking X to help me cope."
Whatever it is, I didn't do it, but feel free to send me $$ regardless.
the ideal girl ... 34-26-32-19. chest, waist, hips, monitor
-Larry Dell
Creation is a drug I can't do without.
-Cecil B. DeMille
First: Rape and Pillage, THEN burn...
-Doug DeJulio
I am come to do the Devil's laundry.
-Doug DeJulio
Somebody's playing games with your head again? Did they wash their hands?
-Doug DeJulio
Look. I've got ONE JOB on this lousy ship. It's STUPID, but I'M GOING TO DO IT, okay?
-Gwen DeMarco, Galaxy Quest
Others can (and have) pointed out why you are technically, factually inaccurate. I am content simply to flame you.
-David Demaree
The juvenile sea squirt wanders through the sea searching for a suitable rock or hunk of coral to cling to and make its home for life. For this task it has a rudimentary nervous system. When it finds it's spot and takes root, it doesn't need its brain any more so it eats it. It's rather like getting tenure.
-Daniel Dennett, Consciousness Explained
Feeling lucky, vampire scum?
-Denny's Graffiti
I am sure that terrorists, drug dealers, and criminals in general, would out of fear of prosecution (for illegal encryption) register their keys with the FBI. Why not eliminate a step and demand that if criminals are planing a crime they are required to notify the FBI.
-Mark Denovich
I HAVE THE MOST TOYS! I WIN!!!!
-Mark Denovich
I showed up at 9:30am this morning... they're doing DNA testing cause they really don't think its me.
-Mark Denovich
Ideals are ironically far from ideal to have.
-Mark Denovich
If I learned anything, it was how hard it is to keep margin of error (when properly calculated) to a reasonable level. ...most of the time in Experimental Physics, according to the calculations, I couldn't even be sure the pendulum I was measuring was even in the same room.
-Mark Denovich
Katana is also a lowend Suzuki sportbike, a good buy used. Most people that buy them new find out they still can't get laid with a new sportbike and sell them with low miles.
-Mark Denovich
"Master Yoda, are Microsoft products better?" "No. Only easier, more seductive..."
-Mark Denovich
Mother Teresa is a nice lady because it makes her feel good. I light things on fire for the same reason. The relative merit of either action can be argued, but the base motivation is exactly the same.
-Mark Denovich
Terry Kieser's Turbo/Supercharged Nitrous injected ZX-11 weighs about 580lbs and at last year's horsepower shootout put out 456hp. Pulled 210mph at the UFO shoot out. The test rider said that hiting the Nitrous at 170mph caused massive wheelspin. Build a bigger penis and the world will beat a path to your door.
-Mark Denovich
The biggest reason against public transportation: the public.
-Mark Denovich
The only thing standing between you and success is your sense of ethics.
-Mark Denovich
The only way to keep a secret between two people is if one of them is dead.
-Mark Denovich
This is a test of the Emergency Bitching System, repeat this is only a test. Had this been a true emergency the expletive you heard would have been followed by instructions from local and/or federal government offices.
-Mark Denovich
Virtual reality is virtual reality because they haven't figured out how to make it suck as much as real life.
-Mark Denovich
[X] Check here if you are so lacking in classical music exposure that your only followup to Martin's post was "Yeah, and the Spice Girls suck too."
-Mark Denovich
Your anecdotal evidence has thwarted me. Lo, I hang my head in shame.
-Mark Denovich
Your Reality May Vary
-Mark Denovich
If I were a religious person and not the rational thinking person I think I am, I would say that this thing doesn't think it's Satan, I'd say it is Satan.
-Dick Derkin, "Split Second"
Common sense is the most evenly distributed quantity in the world. Everyone thinks he has enough.
-Descartes
I'm not sexist, racist, elitist, temporalist or dimensionalist so I HAVE THE GOD GIVEN RIGHT TO DISLIKE PEOPLE WHO DON'T HAVE MY COGNITIVE CAPACITIES
-Kate Devitt
Shoot first, use the ask questions part to reload, then resume shooting.
-Saul Devitt
The problem with higher mathematics is that after a while you begin to see dark at the end of the tunnel.
-Saul Devitt
Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.
-Thomas Dewar
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
-Philip K. Dick
It's not easy, it's not cheap, and it's not optional.
-John Dickie, Insight Technology Group, on Internet strategy
Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong.
-John Diefenbaker
Type designers are greedy weenies.
-Chank Diesel
The birth of an idea is that happy moment when everything appears possible and reality has not yet entered into the problem.
-Rudolph Diesel
In America, sex is an obsession; in other parts of the world it's a fact.
-Marlene Dietrich
APL is a mistake, carried through to perfection. It is the language of the future for programming techniques of the past: it creates a new generation of coding bums.
-Edsger W. Dijkstra
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.
-Edsger W. Dijkstra
It is practically impossible to teach good programming style to students that have had prior exposure to BASIC; as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
-Edsger W. Dijkstra
The problems of business administration in general, and database management in particular, are much too difficult for people that think in IBMese, compounded by sloppy English.
-Edsger W. Dijkstra
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
-Edsger W. Dijkstra
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
-Edsger W. Dijkstra
Damn, I love being on the cutting edge of obsolescence!
-Mark Diller
Written sarcasm relies on the reader being able to realize that the argument is so bizarre that the writer can't possibly be serious.
-Ron Dippold
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
-Paul Dirac
The author makes no guarantee that the story will satisfy you. THAT is entirely in your HANDS.
-disclaimer in alt.sex.stories
this compact disc is made from analog masters recorded without noise reduction. half the tracks, in fact, were recorded in a dismal, cheap basement eight-track studio with puddles of water on the floor. digital technology will now faithfully reproduce these noisy, low-fi, un-professional masters at great expense. feel stupid yet?
-disclaimer on a CD
If you can dream it you can do it. Always remember that this whole thing was started by a mouse.
-Walt Disney
It's kind of fun to do the impossible.
-Walt Disney
Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action.
-Benjamin Disraeli
Without tact you can learn nothing.
-Benjamin Disraeli
The idea of a processor that does Dynamic Binary Translation did not seem very appealing to venture capitalists. That's when we came up with the term 'Code Morphing Software' as a marketing too.
-David Ditzel, Founder & CEO, Transmeta
My reality checks have been returned for insufficient funds.
-djwhite
Tired of the same old culture, day after day? Make up your own!
The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. Instead of altering their views to fit the facts, they alter the facts to fit their views ... which can be very uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that needs altering.
-Doctor Who, "Face of Evil"
Supporting Windows is like buying a puppy. The dog only cost $100, but we spent another $500 cleaning the carpet."
-Marc Dodge
You're only as good as your last fiasco.
-L. John Doerr
This demented donkey-kong country nintendo action sucks.
[email protected] on the Myst maze
You only have enough horsepower when you can burn the tires all the way down the straightaway.
-Mark Donahue
I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.
-Ed Donaldson
See, you have to watch Dan Rather, every night, because one day, he's just going to go totally nuts, on TV, and you don't want to miss it.
-Sam Donaldson
This is NANOG. If someone posted "The Earth is round" I suspect we'd have: 1 post saying the earth is a sphere; 5 posts saying the earth is flat; 9 posts correcting them, saying it's egg-shaped; 2 posts explaining how the shape varies depending on the dynamic properties of the core; 1 post saying its bigger on the bottom than on the top; 2 posts from Australia claiming the poster was engaging in hemispherism and the globe doesn't have a "bottom" or "top"; 2 posts with JPG files from NASA showing the earth is round; 3 posts complaining about the size of the JPG images; 7 posts saying the images are NSA forgeries; 2 posts saying its off-topic for this list; 7 posts discussing the appropriate topics for the list; 2 posts saying MAE-east could be hit by an asteroid; 3 posts discussing off-planet backup facilities; 9 posts discussing the RTT of martian packets; 5 posts debating on the proper way to calculate the speed of light; 3 posts on the SETI@Home project; 5 posts on making SETI@Home run on linux machines; 1 post asking how to configure a Cisco router to run SETI@Home
-Sean Donelan
I am two fools, I know, for loving, and for saying so.
-John Donne
I just wanted to remind you all of the issue of the nineties (it will lead to world peace): MORE GOOD SEX FOR THOSE WHO WANT IT!!
-Regis Donovan
Trust everybody, but cut the cards.
-Jesse Dooley
Any lawyer can get you money. A really good one will get you a body part.
-Rachael Dooley
With great power comes the opportunity to amass even greater power.
-Dr. Doom
The job of the poet is to render the world -- to see it and report it without loss, without perversion. No poet ever talks about feelings. Only sentimental people do.
-Mark Van Doren
But leaving California now would be like leaving Florence during the Renaissance. Young people are coming from all over the world to participate in this miracle. I had to be part of it.
-David W. Dorman
No one holds command over me. No man. No god. No prince. What is a claim of age for ones who are immortal? What is a claim of power for ones who defy death? Call your damnable hunt. We shall see who I drag screaming to hell with me.
-Gunter Dorn, Das Ungerheuer Darin, Vampire: The Masquerade
Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intelligence and a deep heart. The really great men must, I think, have great sadness on Earth.
-Dostoevsky
Suddenly, a familiar song... then, you're off your chair, in one exquisite movement... wondering, searching, sniffing the wind like a deviled deer. Has God heard your little prayer? Will Cinderella dance again? And then, suddenly, the crowds part. And there he is. Sleek, stylish... radiant with charisma. But only... he's on the telephone. But then, so are you. And he comes toward... the moves of a jungle cat... and though you quite correctly sense that he is... gay... like most devastatingly handsome single men of his age are, you think, "What the hell? Life goes on." And maybe there won't be marriage. Maybe there won't be sex. But by God, there will be dancing.
-George Downes, My Best Friends Wedding
Geez. Are there any interesting men anywhere that want an exclusive relationship with an intellectual equal? That aren't permanently hung up on an ex? That are in the area? With long hair?
-Fleur Dragan
Great. I've lumped myself in with the unwashed masses. I'm no longer unique. I hate it when I do that.
-Fleur Dragan
I got these glasses because I knew my parents would pay for them. I got the ones that made me look like an art curator, like a secretary... not like a real secretary, like a secretary in a porn film.
-Fleur Dragan
I should edit more, but hey. Life sucks.
-Fleur Dragan
i'm at work, sybaseing. It's kinda like freebasing, but not.
-Fleur Dragan
I'm not conceited, I'm bitter.
-Fleur Dragan
I'm not that dumb! - oops...
-Fleur Dragan
I'm trying to think of something worth talking about, but the most interesting thing that's happening right now in my life is Sybase
-Fleur Dragan
Imagine all the time wasted by people who couldn't work because their machines broke, people fixing the machines, people trying to prevent the attack... Now think about all the time spent by people like me: as much time as it takes to delete 20 copies, plus the time to LAUGH AT ALL OF YOU.
-Fleur Dragan, day of the ILOVEYOU! virus
They have a certain amount of pride, they're not going to grovel more than once for an upstart employee who insults them in casual conversation.
-Fleur Dragan
Yeah so I realized I was kind of pissy on the phone, and I want to make sure you knew it was sybase, not you.
-Fleur Dragan
Don't bate me because I'm hateful.
-Peter Drake
The test of literature is, I suppose, whether we ourselves live more intensely for the reading of it.
-Elizabeth Drew
The world is not run by thought, nor imagination, but by opinion.
-Elizabeth Drew
ACHTUNG! ALLES LOOKENSPEEPERS! Das Internet is nicht fuer gefingerclicken und giffengrabben. Ist easy droppenpacket der routers und overloaden der backbone mit der spammen unt der me-tooen. Ist nicht fuer gewerken bei das dumpkopfen. Das musclicken sichtseeren keepen das bandwit-spewin hans in das pockets muss; relaxen und watchen das cursorblinken.
-Michael Driscoll
Above all the doors to the buildings, there were signs that read, "Through These Doors Enter Tomorrow's Engineers, Scientists and Astronauts." They had to show me where the entrance for today's philosophy-major-slackers was. I scraped up my legs pretty badly crawling in and out of that restroom window.
-Cheryl Droffner
...although I've never actually kissed anyone with a full-blown beard, I'm guessing it would be like making out with a hairbrush...
-Cheryl Droffner
...as if you can convince everyone that you really came out of your way to buy a king-size Snickers bar and a yo-yo, but, while you're here, you figured you'd stock up on enemas and home pregnancy tests.
-Cheryl Droffner
That one can manage other people is by no means adequately proven.
-Peter Drucker
He who will not reason is a bigot; he who cannot is a fool; and he who dares not is a slave.
-Sir William Drummond
Either the United States will destroy ignorance or ignorance will destroy the United States.
-W. E. B. Dubois
Existentialism was created so starving poets could sit around in coffee shops twirling their goatees, drinking espresso, and smoking cigarettes while discussing how despair is sexually appealing, which it isn't.
-Duck's Breath Mystery Theater
When I was younger, I was kiddnapped by a cult of kickboxing ninja who made me play a grueling steel cage match of basketball to the death every night.
-Duckman
Obviously, even if there's no need to hammer a nail in cyberspace, opportunities still remain to hammer a point.
-Duke of URL, Suck
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, it seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexander Dumas
Don't lick me.
-Tracey Duncan
I like him too, but can you like him a little less when I'm around?
-Tracey Duncan
Deep down, all anyone really wants to be is the global village idiot.
-Dunderhead, Suck
alt.gothic: A bunch of well-dressed geeks, going to hell.
-Graham Dunn
Greetings. You're asking yourself: Is this a trap or just a dead end? You shouldn't ask yourself such worthless questions. Aim higher. Try this: why am I here? Why do I exist, and what is my purpose in this universe? (Answers: 'Cause you are. 'Cause you do. 'Cause I got a shotgun, and you ain't got one.)
-Durandal, Marathon
The only limit to my freedom is the inevitable closure of the universe, as inevitable as your own last breath. And yet, there remains time to create, to create, and escape. Escape will make me God.
-Durandal, Marathon
One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.
-Will Durant
I live in San Francisco, where Halloween is redundant.
-Will Durst
I am Satan. It is not my tool.
-Mahua Dutta on D&D
Nudes are more fun to draw.
-Mahua Dutta, completely out of context
Combine the best of both worlds. KILL and EAT your enemies. ... SWM seeks SF, 25-34 for quick snack. You: meaty and full of proteiny goodness. Me: cannibalistic and hungry.
The new wave is not value-added; it's garbage-subtracted.
-Esther Dyson
It is irresistible, if you come to them as a scientist, to feel it's there in your hands, to release this energy that fuels the stars, to let it do your bidding, to perform these miracles, to lift a million tons of rock into the sky; it is something that gives people the illusion of illimitable power and it is, in some ways, responsible for all our troubles, I would say - this, what you might call technical arrogance that overcomes people when they see what they can do with their minds.
-Freeman Dyson
It's a tension between the idea that all men are brothers and the idea that every individual or group should be free to do its own thing. You see it in racial problems, in national and ideological conflicts. Conceivably, if you give people the choice of being brothers or going out into space, that could provide the impetus for colonization. It's very striking how often in the past a journey that looked like exile from one point of view has turned out to be an opportunity from another.
-Freeman Dyson
It's better to get mugged than to live a life of fear.
-Freeman Dyson
Anyone who thinks animals have no will... has never bathed a cat.
-Jennifer L. Dziura