Quick to Hear or Quick to Anger

How to be Angry, yet not Sin.

Acknowledge and own your emotion

No- to your immediate reaction

Goal of resolving Injustice is…

Evaluate better response to right the sin

Respond instead of React

This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.

Laying aside falsehood, SPEAK TRUTH EACH ONE of you WITH HIS NEIGHBOR, for we are members of one another. 26 BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and do not give the devil an opportunity. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath… and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.

Anger is usually a perceived injustice. A moral emotional response rooted in a concept of righteousness.

A reaction to an event that causes irritation, pain or displeasure.

God designed this to motivate us to positive action when seeing injustice.

GOD is passionate -Contrast to Buddhism: “In a controversy the instant we feel anger

we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves.”

“ the fruit of self control is not ever experiencing anger”

However, Fruit of Self control does provide time to respond instead of just react

12 And Jesus entered the temple and drove out all those who were buying and selling in the temple, and overturned the tables of the money changers and the seats of those who were selling doves. 13 And He said* to them, "It is written, 'My house shall be called a house of prayer'; but you are making it a robbers' den."14 And the blind and the lame came to Him in the temple, and He healed them.

1 He entered again into a synagogue; and a man was there whose hand was withered. 2 They were watching Him to see if He would heal him on the Sabbath, so that they might accuse Him. 3 He said* to the man with the withered hand, "Get up and come forward!" 4 And He said* to them, "Is it lawful to do good or to do harm on the Sabbath, to save a life or to kill?" But they kept silent. 5 After looking around at them with anger, grieved at their hardness of heart, He said* to the man, "Stretch out your hand." And he stretched it out, and his hand was restored.

Why? Because He is Holy, & He is Love, He experiences anger when He sees Evil and Injustice. Anger is His logical response-- rooted in His Nature

His Love compels a righteous response His Holiness stands forever against evil Our Problem with Anger:

◦ Our perception is flawed, God’s is correct◦ False sense of justice( My comfort)◦ Personal agendas distort our decisions◦ Unresolved wounds/pride blind us

Northport McFarland Blvd= INJUSTICE

Anger can be a reflection of His values Loss of Moral concern = loss of compassion(

anger ) Opposite of love is not hate, but apathy

Anger is usually a perceived injustice. It is a sign of being made in His image.

Questions:◦ How Accurate is my perception◦ False sense of justice

Inaccurate information Distorted conclusion Imputed motives Justice for self only Taking up another person’s offense

Event(Perceived Injustice) triggers DISTRESS( adrenaline flowing ) Anger(godly or selfish) is interpreted by

Previous experiences Emotional wounds( childhood?) Unrelated other stresses today Physical Ailments Fear, Self Image Blind Spots

Become Rage? (uncontrolled Anger )=SIN

Self control = time to respond instead of react

RESPOND= righteous anger to restore Wise action that resolves injustice Wise restraint that releases revenge to GOD to resolve Fulfills God’s purpose of anger

REACT= distorted Anger of man Action to attack or defend( fight or flight of flooding) Out-Explosive=wounding, envy, strife, slander In- Implosion= bitterness, depression,

Prov. 16:32  He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city

Prov. 29:22 22 An angry man stirs up strife, And a hot-tempered man abounds in transgression. A man's pride will bring him low, But a humble spirit will obtain honor.

HERE ONE NEEDS THE FRUIT OF SELF CONTROL- to give us space to choose

Is that action the wisdom from above? Does it restore the injustice? Is our perception correct?

◦All the facts?◦Imputed motives?◦Affected by my personal agenda items?◦Response of wounded pride?

Prov. 22:24 Do not associate with a man given to anger; Or go with a hot-tempered man, Or you will learn his ways, And find a snare for yourself.

Common Habits( that can be learned): ◦ Sees threats everywhere, very defensive◦ Others cause danger to me, not my lack of self

control/wounds/pride, etc◦ Quickly moves to attack because of perceived

danger, instead of righteous response

Gen. 4:5-6 Cain“sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is

for you, but you must master it.“

The anger was not yet sin, but faith/self control did not master his prideful heart.

Cain reacted instead of responding.God began a work in you, let Him perfect it.

Acknowledge and own your emotion

No- to your immediate reaction

Goal of resolving Injustice is…

Evaluate better response to right the sin

Respond instead of React

Notice, accept and breathe Choose to control my actions( explosive,

uncontrolled or Implosive, brooding bitter) Do not just stuff it in, it needs processing Speak out loud “ I am angry about…” Flooding requires minimum 10 minutes Prov. 16:32  He who is slow to anger is

better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city

Fruit of self control provides time, space Choose to stop. Space is needed whether

one implodes or explodes. Flooding. Take deep breaths, or a walk if needed Prov. 29:22 22 An angry man stirs up strife,

And a hot-tempered man abounds in transgression. A man's pride will bring him low, But a humble spirit will obtain honor.

Laying aside falsehood, SPEAK TRUTH EACH ONE of you WITH HIS NEIGHBOR, for we are members of one another. 26 BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and do not give the devil an opportunity. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath… and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.

What is my perception?◦ Name the injustice, or person’s sin◦ Do I have the facts?◦ Am I imputing motives?◦ Use # rating to decide importanceDiscern- righteous anger, or distorted anger?

-childhood wounds-personal pride/ blind spot-history of hypersensitive area in past

8 It happened when Elisha the man of God heard that the king of Israel had torn his clothes, that he sent word to the king, saying, "Why have you torn your clothes? Now let him come to me, and he shall know that there is a prophet in Israel." 9 So Naaman came with his horses and his chariots and stood at the doorway of the house of Elisha. 10 Elisha sent a messenger to him, saying, "Go and wash in the Jordan seven times, and your flesh will be restored to you and you will be clean." 11 But Naaman was furious and went away and said, "Behold, I thought , 'He will surely come out to me and stand and call on the name of the Lord his God, and wave his hand over the place and cure the leper.' 12 "Are not Abanah and Pharpar, the rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel? Could I not wash in them and be clean?" So he turned and went away in a rage. 

13 Then his servants came near and spoke to him and said, "My father, had the prophet told you to do some great thing, would you not have done it? How much more then, when he says to you, 'Wash, and be clean'?" 14 So he went down and dipped himself seven times in the Jordan, according to the word of the man of God; and his flesh was restored like the flesh of a little child and he was clean.

Anger due to distorted interpretation◦ Considered himself special◦ Lost sight of goal◦ sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for

you, but you must master it.BUT, he was able to hear words from others

(accountability partners, spouses) . Difficult part is doing this in heat of battle. Prov. 15:31 He whose ear listens to the life-giving

reproof, Will dwell among the wise.

Have I asked for trusted advisors’(spouse) perception? God’s provision

What response will actually restrain the evil injustice/sin that I have seen?

Pride demands that I be compensated If high rating( 7-10#), look for many

responses to evaluate, due to blindness. Walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out

the desire of the flesh.

Is it loving? Is it positive? Anger is moving to action, choose timing

wisely. Control your own spirit first. Stuffing anger often leads to bitterness Find God’s purpose, then the anger has

served the ministry that God intended.

Then Joseph said to his brothers, "Please come closer to me." And they came closer . And he said, "I am your brother Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. 5 "Now do not be grieved or angry with yourselves, because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life. Gen.45:5

Listen- round 1- just try to ID cause ( avoid reflection of emotion, stay in control)

Listen- round 2- ask for details to demonstrate you really are understanding

Listen- round 3- empathize, name the injustice, they must feel heard

Listen-round 4-restate the story-empathize Share unknown facts, only after above Give them space to process

Acknowledge and own your emotion

No- to your immediate reaction

Goal of resolving Injustice

Evaluate better response to right the sin

Respond instead of React

Release Reconciliation Restoration◦ one party both parties both parties◦ offended active both active offender

active◦ My wellbeing both benefit body

benefits◦ Cure Bitterness peace in body function of

body

Bitterness- the poison I DRINK hoping to harm the one who hurt me