puss in boots script jack northcott reading copy · 2018. 10. 12. · puss in boots pantomime...

READING C

OPY ONLY

Puss in Boots Pantomime Script

Puss in

Boots

© Jack Northcott 2018 jacknorthcott.co.uk !1

READING C

OPY ONLY


CHARACTERS

Tom Miller A miller’s son, principal boy

Puss in Boots Tom’s cat left to him by his father

Betty Boot Dame, Proprietor of the ‘Ye Olde Boote’

King Champagne Jolly, if old-fashioned, ruler of the Kingdom

Princess Chantilly A bright, vivacious princess

Spirit of the Whiskers Puss’ fairy godmother

Furball Evil cat, eternally jealous of Puss

Ogre Rumbletum A horrid, disgusting, nasty ogre

Shortcoat Ogre’s henchman, comedy duo

Bobtail Ogre’s henchman, comedy duo

SUPPORTING CAST

Slave 1 A slave of the Ogre

Slave 2 A slave of the Ogre

Ogre (Lion) The lion the Ogre transforms into

Ogre (Mouse) The mouse the Ogre transforms into

As always in Pantomime, genders are ambiguous and this is no exception.


READING C

OPY ONLY


SCENES

ACT I

Prologue The Kingdom of Shoeshine (Front of Tabs)

Scene 1 The Town Square of Pompadour (Full Scene)

Scene 2 A Country Lane (Front of Tabs)

Scene 3 Inside Ye Olde Boote (Full Scene)


Scene 5 The Pool in the Forrest (Full Scene)


Scene 7 The Royal Castle (Full Scene)

ACT II


Scene 9 Outside the Ogre’s Castle (Front of Tabs)

Scene 10 Inside the Ogre’s Castle (Full Scene)

Scene 11 The Ogre’s Dungeons (Front of Tabs)

Scene 12 Inside the Ogre’s Castle (Full Scene)

Scene 13 Song Sheet (Front of Tabs)

Scene 14 Finale (Full Scene)

FULL SCENESThe Town Square of Pompadour Inside Ye Olde Boote The Pool in the Forrest The Royal Castle Inside the Ogre’s Castle

FRONT OF TABS The Kingdom of Shoeshine A Country Lane Outside the Ogre’s Castle The Ogre’s Dungeons


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MUSICAL NUMBERS

(Feel free to add or remove musical numbers as you wish. At some points in the script there are suggestions as to songs which may be appropriate to use.)

ACT I

1. Song Opening Number Tom, Puss & Company

2. Song Puss Performs Puss in Boots

3. Song Love Duet Tom and Princess Chantilly

4. Song Evil Number Furball, Shortcoat and Bobtail

5. Song Transformation Tom, Puss and Chantilly

ACT II

1. Song Opening Number Act II Full Company

2. Song Together at Last Principal Cast

3. Song Celebration Number Full Company

4. Song Song Sheet Betty Boot & Furball

5. Song Finale Number Full Company


READING C

OPY ONLY


Prologue The Kingdom of Shoeshine (Front of Tabs)

(The scene opens just outside the market town of Pompadour in the kingdom of Shoeshine. We can see the town in the distance and perhaps there is a sign post - ‘Local Place Name’ 100 miles, Pompador 2 miles)

(Tom enters, running on excitedly)

Tom Hello everybody, my names Tom!

(Audience response)

Oh dear. Is there anyone home? I said “Hello everybody!”

(Audience response)

That’s much better. Remember you can’t just sit here and watch the show, this is a pantomime! My name is Tom Miller, I’m the youngest son of a miller and I’m moving house. My father just died.

(Audience response)

No it’s sadder than that!

(Audience response)

Okay, it’s not that sad. He left our mill to my oldest brother John, and he says I’m not allowed to stay there anymore. So I’ve had to carry all my belongings all this way to the town of Pompadour in the middle of the kingdom of Shoeshine, far, far away. I’d have used our donkey but my father left that to my middle brother Dom. He told me I was enough of an ass already! So I got left this stupid cat named Puss. He’s useless. He’s lazy, grumpy and miserable. Would you like to meet him?

(Audience response)

Would you?

(Audience response)

Let’s see if he’ll come when we call him. After ‘three’ I want you all to shout “here Puss” with me. Shall we try it? One, two, three, here Puss!

(Audience response. Puss sticks his tail out onto the stage)


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Did you see that everyone? That was Puss’ tail. Let’s try again one more time as loud as you like. One, two, three, here Puss!

(Audience response, Puss strolls out onto the stage and waves)

There you have it my grumpy, miserable cat.

(Furball enters opposite. He spots Puss and hisses)

Furball Who dares bring this cat into my Kingdom. I am the only cat here, and we don’t want any disgusting strays upsetting the balance of the milk and goldfish distribution.

Tom Oh don’t worry, he’s useless my cat. He just stands around all day doing nothing and licking his bits.

(Puss looks outraged)

Furball Yuk! A household fleabag. Repulsive. Bound to spread diseases to the entire cat population of Shoeshine.

Tom You just said you were the only cat in the Kingdom.

Furball Exactly.

Tom Please sir, my father just died and this cat is the only thing he left me in his will. He may be a useless old fleabag but he’s all I’ve left of my father’s possessions and he’s kept me company all the way here.

Furball My word, with a sob story like that, you should be on *reality TV show*.

(Puss sits down and starts to rub his feet)

What’s wrong with it anyway?

Tom I think his paws are hurting after all this walking. (To Puss) It’s okay Puss, not far to go now.

(Puss looks at him reproachfully)

Furball Perhaps you should buy him some boots from the local shoe shop. It’s called Ye Olde Boote, it’s in the highstreet you can’t miss it. Horrid little place it is, terribly run down. Just like *insert local pub/ shop name*.

Tom Thanks, we will!

(He grabs Puss’ hand and hurries off while he can)


READING C

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Furball Honestly, I work long hours for Ogre Rumbletum, I’m run off my feet and in constant pain but you don’t see me complaining. And I wouldn’t be seen dead in a pair of those ugly boots that Betty makes. I think I’ll keep an eye on that little kitten. Make sure he’s not showing me up. If he crosses me, I’ll give him a real reason to be in pain! Oh yes I will.

(Audience response)

Oh yes I will.

(Audience response)

Oh yes I will!

(He laughs with an evil grin and exits)


READING C

OPY ONLY


ACT I


(The scene opens at a bright and colour town square. Ye Olde Boote is clearly visible and a host of other small shops. Perhaps there is a fountain or statue in the middle of the stage. Townsman go about their business on a busy morning)

Song Opening Number (Led by Spirit of the Whiskers)

Whiskers Welcome to Pompadour, our lovely market town in Shoeshine. We pride ourselves on our beautiful town and friendly nature!

(Tom and Puss can either enter here, or during the opening number and get swept up in it all)

Tom Wow, Puss, look at this place. It’s perfect for us!

(Puss nods enthusiastically)

Whiskers And we’ll be happy to have you. I’m the Spirit of the Whiskers, and I’m here to look after everyone in Pompadour and make sure they’re happy and healthy. And you are?

Tom Tom, Tom Miller, and this is my cat, Puss. Perhaps you can help us, my father just died and Puss’ paws are hurting him terribly after our long journey.

(The townsman turn and gasp)

Whiskers Well, we can’t have that. You won’t see anyone down and out while I’m around. We’ll soon cheer you up Tom and we can sort you out with some footwear to save your paws Puss.

(Betty Boot enters, play on music sounds)

Betty Good morning Pompadour! Well what are you waiting for? We’re open for business, get shoe-shopping.

(A few townsmen make towards Ye Olde Boote and go inside)

Whiskers Betty, say hello to your latest customers. This here is Tom Miller, and Puss, and they’re looking for a pair of good sturdy boots to look after Puss’ painful paws.

Betty Puss’ painful paws? What a palaver! Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you both. I’m Betty Boot and I own Ye Olde Boote just over there. I took over the running of the shop when my husband, died. Oh he was a


READING C

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beautiful man, with a very long name. He was called Bertie Squirty Flimsy Flirty Sort of Quirky Eric N’ Ernie Turkey Dirty Perky.

Tom He was called what?

Betty Bertie Squirty Flimsy Flirty Sort of Quirky Eric N’ Ernie Turkey Dirty Perky.

Tom Wow, that is a long name!

Betty He was a real delight. We met when I saw him walking around with a sandal on one foot and a boot on the other. That’s a feet that’s never been matched! Mind you I wear size 19 shoes, and that’s the greatest feet imaginable. As I always say, if the shoe fits; buy it in every colour. I tell you what, if you’ll be my friends we can say that every time I come on. Will you be my friends?

(Audience response)

And the rest of you?

(Audience response)

Excellent here we go then, let’s give it a try. If the shoe fits:

(Audience response)

Oh dear, is that a bit too complicated? Perhaps we’ll try this instead: If the shoe fits, wear it! After me then, “if the shoe fits…”

(Audience response)

That’s better, oh lovely!

Whiskers So Betty, do you think can sort Puss out with some comfy boots to save his aching feet?

Betty I should think so. In fact, I’ve got just the pair.

(She is handed a pair of boots by a stage hand)

Tom They look old and smelly!

Betty They’ve been upcycled, don’t be so ungrateful.

Whiskers Not to worry. I’ll work my magic and make them worth your while.

Betty Well what are you waiting for? Put them on.


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(Puss sheepishly steps forwards and takes the boots. He slides them over this feet. There is a magical musical ‘ting’ as he does so. As soon as the boots are on his feet, he stands confidently and begins to stride around the stage)

Tom Wow!

Whiskers And that’s not all. Get a load of this.

(Whiskers casts a spell)

This feeble cat I now transform From sad and old, to new and warm Not only will he walk the walk But now this Puss can speak and talk!

(Puss winces. He starts to cough gradually more violently. He coughs something into his hands)

Puss Sorry, furball.

(Everyone gasps)

Tom Puss, you can speak. I can’t believe it.

Puss You better believe it. And if I can speak, you know what that means, I can sing too!

Song Suggests ‘These Boots Were Made For Walking’

(After the applause, we hear a royal fanfare to play-on King Champagne. He appears, perhaps with a servant)

King Greetings citizens. It is I your King, ruler of Shoeshine and royal rapscallion.

(Everyone groans)

Oh do come now, I’m not that bad. Anyone would think you’d just seen *insert unpopular politician*.

Betty Your highness.

(The King turns and his eyes meet Betty. There is a moment of passion, perhaps a lighting change, a musical ting, for a past love affair)

King Betty.


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(The moment happens again with the same change/musical ting)

I’ve come to collect my boots.

Betty Yes of course, right away your majesty. Come with me. You two as well, I’ll show you around Ye Olde Boote.

King Nothing to see here, back to work everyone!

(The King follows Betty into Ye Olde Boote and the townsfolk go about their business)

Tom Come on then Puss, we’d better find somewhere to stay!

Play Off Reprise of earlier number

(All exit)


READING C

OPY ONLY



(Furball Enters)

Furball Yuk! That stupid cat has got right in there with Whiskers and her gang. Why should he get all the attention and not me? I’m the most impressive feline in this town. Aren’t I?

(Audience response)

Oh yes I am!

(Audience response)

Oh yes I am!

(Audience response)

I am, I am, I am!

(Audience response)

(Spirit of the Whiskers enters)

Whiskers What on earth is all this noise?

Furball Oh here you are, muscling in on my limelight as usual. Off you go you snivelling fairy.

Whiskers Don’t dismiss me. You cannot diminish my power.

Furball Wanna bet?

Whiskers I know your game, and it’s not nice!

Furball Try and stop me then.

Whiskers Oh don’t worry, I’m working on it. And when I’m through you’ll be nothing but a puddle of milk on the floor, if I get my way!

Furball Fighting talk whiskers, but you forget, we cats have nine lives and I’m not about to waste eight of mine on you.

Whiskers And what exactly did you have planned?

Furball I will get my hands on that Puss’ boots if it’s the last thing I do. Their magic will mean I can leave my life under the rule of Ogre Rumbletum and live free from the chains, a new cat.


READING C

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Whiskers Whatever your plans, they don’t sound good to me. I’ll do everything in my power to stop you.

Furball Good luck you floating fairy. I will find the boy and kill the cat. Then I can claim the boots for my own.

(Furball laughs evilly and exits)

Whiskers Oh no! That Furball really is a horrid old thing isn’t he. Will you help me keep an eye on Tom and Puss?

(Audience response)

You will? Oh brilliant. Every time you see Furball will you boo and hiss nice and loud for me?

(Audience response)

Excellent. Let’s give it a try. One, two, three…

(Audience response)

You’ll need to be even louder than that! Let’s try again. One, two, three…

(Audience response)

That’s much better. Look out for him, and don’t forget to boo!


READING C

OPY ONLY


Scene 3 Inside Ye Olde Boote (Full Scene)

(this scene takes place inside Ye Olde Boote. There is lots of boots and shoes and a counter to work on. Betty is hard at work)

Betty If the shoe fits…

(Audience response)

I’m not having that. You’ll have to do better than that. We’ll try again.

(Betty exits and re enters)

If the shoe fits…

(Audience response)

That’s better. Woken up now have you?

(Tom and Puss enter talking)

Tom That’s right Puss. I could really see us staying around here. If only we had a job and somewhere to stay.

Betty Looking for a job are you? Well, I could let you help around this place if you like?

Tom Really?

Betty Oh yes. Orders have really picked up since King Champagne started getting his boots fixed here, so I’d be glad to have someone else around to help.

Puss What about me? I could help as well.

Betty Now let’s see. You could help me move some stock around this morning while Tom mans the counter. How does that sound?

Tom & Puss Thanks Betty!

Betty Follow me then Puss.

(Betty and Puss exit into the stock room, Tom bends down to get something from under neath the counter meanwhile Princess Chantilly enters)

Chantilly (She cannot see Tom) Hello!


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(Tom stands up quickly and hits his head on the counter. He emerges looking a bit sorry for himself)

Oh dear, are you okay? I didn’t mean to startle you like that.

(Their eyes meet for the first time. There is a romantic music sting)

Tom Hello.

Chantilly Hello. I’m Princess Chantilly from the royal castle.

Tom Hello!

Chantilly Er, have you seen my father about at all?

Tom You’ve just missed him. He left about ten minutes ago.

Chantilly Oh gosh. I’ve been following him around all morning trying to catch up with him and I’m exhausted.

(Tom grabs a stool from behind the counter)

Tom Here, why not sit down for a while, take the load off your feet.

Chantilly Such a gentleman. Thank you.

Tom While you’re at it… (He darts to a shoe rack and picks out a pair of glittery shoes, perfect for a princess) … why not try these on for size. They look as if they’d suit you.

Chantilly Wow, I used to have a pair exactly like that. How did you know I’d like them?

Tom I guess I’m just good at this sort of thing. I’ve met girls like you before.

Chantilly You have?

Tom Oh yes. I’m very used to serving royalty. I used to have a part-time job at Buckingham Palace.

Chantilly You did?

Tom Oh yes. I was there for Harry and Megan’s wedding.

Chantilly I’m surprised you didn’t see me. It was such a wonderful day. 600 guests, 30,000 flowers, singing and dancing -


READING C

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Tom - or as Elton John calls it, a Thursday.

Chantilly Didn’t you just love the dress -

Tom - the music -

Chantilly - the spectacle!

Tom The spectacles? I didn’t notice any glasses?

Chantilly No, the spectacle. How spectacular it was.

Tom If only I could fall in love like those two.

Chantilly Why can’t you?

Tom A princess would never marry me. I’m just a poor Miller’s son.

Chantilly Well I’m a princess and I would marry you.

Tom Don’t be daft. Your father would be furious.

Chantilly I wouldn’t care.

Song Love Duet (Tom & Chantilly)

Chantilly What if we just did it? Ran away and got married.

Tom Do you really mean that?

Chantilly Why not? I hate all of the other princes in the realm, and father will only try and set me up with one of my third cousins.

Tom Third cousins?

Chantilly It’s a royal thing.

Tom Oh. Well if you’re sure.

Chantilly I am.

(They embrace. Betty re-enters carrying boxes of shoes so high that she can’t see where she is going)

Betty Princess Chantilly is that you?


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Chantilly Yes Betty, it’s nice to see you. I’m looking for my father and your new assistant just told me he went this way so I’d better be off. Thanks Tom.

Tom No problem. When will I -

(Chantilly exits)

- see you again?

Betty What was all that about?

Tom We… er… we were… she couldn’t decide on the right pair of shoes.

Betty Oh Tom, don’t worry. You’ll soon learn how to seal the deal. Just like me with the shoes I bought from the drug dealer the other day.

Tom A drug dealer?

Betty Oh yes. I don’t know what he put in them, but I was tripping all day.

(Joke sting)

(Puss enters with an equally high pile of shoe boxes and bumps into Betty she drops all of hers and Puss drops his too. Now there is a big mess on the floor!)

My oh my. Perhaps we ought to leave the stock shifting for another day. How about I teach you both how to polish a pair of shoes without looking.

Puss Without looking? That’s impossible.

Betty Oh no it isn’t!

Puss Oh yes it is!

Betty Let me show you. Come over here.

(She leads them behind the desk)

Now, close your eyes.

(They close their eyes)

Tom & Puss Eyes closed!

Betty Take some shoes -


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(They feel around for a pair of shoes each)

- and hold them up to head height.

(They hold the shoes in front of their faces)

Next take some polish.

(On the table there is black make up with sponges ready and waiting)

And rub the polish into the shoes.

(Betty and Puss turn and cover Tom’s face with polish by accident thinking that they are polishing the shoes they are holding)

Puss That’s a very funny shaped shoe.

Betty Next pick up your fabric to shine the shoe.

(They each pick up the fabric shoe-shiners and the same thing happens)

That’s it. Keep going until the shoes are really shiny.

Puss How are we supposed to know how shiny the shoes are when we’ve got our eyes closed?

Betty Guess.

Puss Then what?

Betty Then you give the customer back the shoes and there you have it. A traditional shoe polish, without looking.

Tom Can we open our eyes now?

Betty Yes, you can open your eyes now.

(They open their eyes and look at each other. Betty and Puss start laughing at Tom)

Tom What are you laughing at? Betty? Puss?

(The curtain closes and the scene ends)


READING C

OPY ONLY



(Furball enters)

Furball What are you lot looking at you disgusting peasants? Looking at this audience is like standing outside poundland with a net! Oh yes it is!

(Audience response)

Oh yes it is.

(Audience response)

It is, it is, it is!

(Audience response)

Enough! Stop shouting. Where do you think you are, *local pub* on a Saturday night? I’ve an evil plan to enact. That’s right, I’m going to kidnap Betty Boot and force her to make me a pair of those magical boots just like Puss’. That way I won’t have to go about the hassle of capturing and killing him. Then I’ll leave her to the Ogre, there’s plenty of meat on her after all, and rule the kingdom myself.

(Shortcoat and Bobtail enter. They are burly henchmen of the Ogre’s)

Shortcoat Names Shortcoat sir.

(Bobtail bumps into Shortcoat)

Bobtail You silly thing. What are you doing standing there for?

Furball And you are?

Bobtail Bobtail sir. At your service.

Furball Where on earth have you come from? You look like they’ve just kicked you out of the local police station.

Shortcoat We’re the Ogre’s new henchmen.

Bobtail We’re looking for a furball, but we can’t find one anywhere.

Furball I think it’s me you’re looking for.

Bobtail Don’t be silly sir. It’s a fur ball not a human.

Furball My name is Furball.


READING C

OPY ONLY


Short. & Bob. Oh.

Furball Pricisely. What does the Ogre want with me anyway?

Shortcoat He says he wants his dinner -

Bobtail - and he wants it pronto.

Furball Honestly, I don’t know why he doesn’t just use Uber Eats. Nonetheless, I have a plan that will get the Ogre his dinner and make me the most powerful cat in the kingdom.

Shortcoat Sounds interesting.

Bobtail It does?

Furball In fact, it just so happens I’m looking for some assistance in this endeavour. Care to join me gentlemen?

(They look unsure)

I’ll make it well worth your while.

Bobtail What does that mean?

Furball I’ll give you some money in payment for your services.

Bobtail Brilliant, sign me up!

Shortcoat Yes, I’m in too.

Furball Excellent!

Song Evil Number. Suggest ‘Beat It’ by Michael Jackson

(During the number, Spirit of the Whiskers enters and hides watching what’s happening)

Furball Now here’s the plan. We capture that ridiculous woman Betty Boot and take her prisoner in the castle. Then force her to create me the most powerful boots in the world. Follow me.

(Furball exits)

Shortcoat I didn’t understand a word of that.

Bobtail Me neither.


READING C

OPY ONLY


(They exit following Furball. Spirit of the Whiskers jumps out from her hiding place)

Whiskers Oh dear. I knew he was up to something when I heard you doing all that wonderful booing earlier on! I’m going after them to see if I can stop them.

(Spirit of the Whiskers exits)


puss in boots script jack northcott reading copy · 2018. 10. 12. · puss in boots pantomime...

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