psychs first

7/27/2019 Psychs First

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Do you believe in miracles? Professor Luke, a professor of

philosophy in Liverpool University, said.

Show of hands, please. Who believes in them?

It was hard not to, since I was surrounded by four of them, the otherswent to attend other courses. Emma, Joseph, Chow and my mother were

with me, learning philosophy, while the others, well Mason was

looking at what's new in Med school at Oxford University, Reed, who

was sometimes joined by Chow, was bringing himself up to date with

what's new in technology at the Royal academy Saundhurst, Rod was

looking into the weapons department too, and Jack, well, he never stays

put for more than fifteen minutes.

Not a lot of hands are being raised I see I guess you all had yourshares ofFs in one or more courses, or had your heart broken well, to

see what the real psychology behind this is I must ask you one thing

we have two opposite sides, one who believes, and the other who

doesn't... Doctor Luke walked around the table and then sat on it, facing

us.

My question is What is a miracle? something in the question

had stirred everyone in the hall, even me.

I see eyes looking away, I see someone over there scratching his

head, I see someone looking at me in a weird way he said, looking

at one of the students who he always used him to lighten the mood in our

lectures, his escape goat. Gary, the student, shook his head.

Just kidding anyhow, I see that no one can give me an answer, or

at least no one can express what he or she or him he pointed again at

the same student and everyone laughed out loud, Gary was laughing the

most. Or him he continued after the laughs faded away, thinks

what a miracle is so

He gave that look; I knew what approach he will take every time hewanted to explain something through an experiment.

Let's be cruel, shall we? he said. His hands moved, showing a

gesture, pretending to wear an imaginary hat.

You know who I am right now I'm Sir Colin, and you know what

he did? he pointed at Gary.


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You did some unethical experiments on people trying to uncover the

secret of the human mind, and you died from the flu He answered

swiftly.

Very good my favourite apprentice. So, I am here today to talk

about another awful experiment that I want to take all your opinionsabout.

It's one of those social experiment types. Let's say, we took a child

and raised him in a place, like The Village, not the band, the movie. We

taught him a different kind of life, no technology, nothing. He had never

seen the sea; he doesn't even know that there is something called a sea.

One day, after many years, we, the ones who are doing the experiment,

came and placed him in the city, waking up in there, he sees different

people, the cars, the huge buildings etcetera. How do you think hewould react? Or most importantly, what would he be thinking?...

anyone? Just say anything

Scared? One girl said.

Most probably, yes and now, here's the other question. If he was

thinking one day before we threw him in the city, after living a boring

life for many years, that he wishes for a miracle, or, if he had never

became familiar with the concept, for some kind of magic, and then he

wakes up there what will he feel then? The answer each one of you

has right now in his or her mind, even though you don't know it yet, it's

what tells you what kind of a shrink you'll become and what's your

approach would be.

He took off his imaginary hat and threw it at the audience.

Now Christmas holiday

YES!! one student said.

Right back at you, so, Christmas holiday is coming, I hope you

all have a wonderful time this year, I'll see you all then, have fun and

yeah, that's it have fun class dismissedThe Professor became surrounded by many students, everyone liked

him, it gave no chance for me to say hello and to wish him a happy

holiday. I just got out of the class and went back to my dorm. The ghosts

came back, Reed was extremely happy.

Saundhurst rules he said.


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Joseph decided that I should go for a run. I was trying to do eight

kilometers, or to Joseph's standards, five miles in less than an hour. I hada bad start, so after forty minutes, and after Chow realized that I won't

make it at this pace, I started to pick up speed.

Five minutes later, something happened, someone who sat on a bench

extended his leg. I thought he was trying to trip me but he pulled it back.

It was obvious that he had no intention to hurt me, but he managed to

catch my attention. I slowed down once it happened and when I turned

to see who it was, the man smiled and waved.

Professor Luke! Fancy seeing you here I said.Good to see one of my students keeps himself in shape he said. I

answered only with a smile.

You are Hassan, right? he said. I'm not in shape as you are, so

why don't you have a seat; I'd like to say something to you, if you don't

mind

Sure

You know I had lost my passport once bare with me, there's a

point. He said.

So I lost it as I was in holiday in another country, it was very hard

and it took me so much time and energy to get back here. At that day I

realized that in this world we are only known as papers, if we lost those

papers, we are nothing, we don't exist, and other governments do not

acknowledge us. It was a bad concept to have in a world like this, that's

why I try to make myself known to everyone So, future colleague,

Doctor Hassan I smiled when he said that, he was to this day my

favourite professor.

You are a bright young student, but I know that only from yourpapers, you do well in written exams, that's why I know your name, but

you don't interact in the class often the thing is, I have seen many

doctors who became my colleagues, doctors who did well too, like you,

but the real world, not the paper world, is different. I know it's


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personal, but why don't I know you in the real world? I couldn't give a

good answer, but I had to say something.

Well doctor, I have this well, I'm not sure you would

understand, but, being in another country studying is something hard

it is to me. I don't interact just because I have this thing in my mind,which is to just do my time here and finish I'm not sure it makes

sense but that's the best way I can explain it his eyebrows raised. The

answer wasn't good of course.

Are you going away for the holiday? he asked.

Yes professor I looked in front of me, to where Mason was and

then I hesitated.

I'm going to see my family in Emirates I gave another answer.

Dubai? he asked.Abu Dhabi, actually

Have fun there; consider what I have just said. And by the way, it

was not the loss of the passport that made me what I am today, it was the

time I had spent in there that changed me that's why you shouldn't just

wait for your years to pass by, or you'll miss it. You have to know if you

are a good psychiatrist or just a smart person

Thank you sir, I'll try to see what I can do

Good, now get out of here he said.

So London! I guess you are excited about this, aren't you?

Mason said.

We were on our way to see my father, who came only for a day.

After that we were to travel home with him. That's what was told to theghosts by me. But I was planning for a surprise for them.

What is it? Mason noticed something, the time we spent together

had taught us the signs that we reflect when something is on our minds. I

had to keep the surprise hidden for a little more time, at least until we

reach our destination.


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The train was almost empty but it has eyes, the security cameras

would show a crazy person talking to himself in sign language.

I placed a blue-tooth headphone, started to communicate and he read

my lips.

I was thinking of something, I said I am lucky to have you allbut if I wasn't attacked at that day, you know, the day when you all

appeared for me for the first time, would I ever find out about you?

I saw it in Mason, he knew me the best by now. He knew that that

was not it, but he didn't say anything.

I would if I caught you smoking my mother said.

We departed from the Liverpool Street Railway Station, got off for

lunch in Stafford, then we reached our final destination at London

Euston Station, and there he was, my father with a strange man I havenever seen before.

What's with the short beard? my father said.

They call it dirty I explained the fashion.

Being dirty is a fashion now? he hugged me in front of his friend

and then he introduced me to him.

This is Mister David Gail. He's one of London's finest. We will be

having dinner with him today

We shook hands and then we went to his place. His wife, Rose, was a

very delightful woman, the way she and David were together, it

reminded me of my own foster parents. They gave us the tour inside the

house.

I'm sure all this walking had left you hungry by now Rose said.

Just nod. No need to act too polite with us young man

The ghosts continued the tour, looking at the places which we weren't

allowed to go to. Like their room, or David's office. He had a lot of files

labelled confidential, that's what they told me.

After we were done with dinner we started to chat. The talk wasmostly about me, since I was the new face and the guest of honour. My

father had been here more than once.

Psychology? Why did you choose this major? Rose asked.

I would like to understand the human mind, it's very interesting to

know more about it. I also would like to help people too and know how


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to help them deal with their problems I told them of the reason why I

wanted to stay on this major, and not why I chose it. I chose it after my

sessions with my shrink, Dr. Eta. She was the one assigned to me at the

asylum after my first encounter with the ghosts. She made me become

interested in that field, because as kids, we choose what looks good tous, probably that's why most people wish to be singers or actors, or like

my litter sister when she was a child, a super hero.

We had a nice time, they were really a treat. It felt refreshing to be

with a family and not with students all the time.

I guess we will be heading to the hotel my father said.

Rose whispered something to her husband's ear; he looked at her and

then nodded.

Why not stay here? You can stay at the guest room, and your soncan stay at Sharon's room David said.

That's my daughter, she is on vacation its dark outside and it's not

the first time for you Ali to spend the night here

My father hesitated, but David saw in him and me what we already

knew and felt.

You do both look tired, right?

My father looked at me, he saw in a way that it would be better to

stay, so he agreed.

They guided us to the rooms; mine was the first, it was Sharon's

room. I found Jack inside with Mason, the latter tried to tell him to leave

this room alone.

So where did Sharon go for the holidays? my father asked.

To the United states David answered.

She is visiting New York and LA Rose continued.

Really?! my father said, and I knew he would ruin my surprise, but

it didn't matter, because I was about to reveal it before I went to bed.

That's where my son is going tomorrow my father said.Mason caught that, I saw the look on his eyes and my facial

expressions changed. I felt Rose's eyes on me as she saw me smiling

awkwardly.

Well that's great, I hope you'll have a good time David said, and

then they left me alone in the room.


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What's going on? What is your father talking about? Mason asked.

The smile was still on my face. Jack got curious too.

My mother came with Emma and then she joined the conversation.

Why is that woman saying that my son is acting strange? My

mother said, apparently she caught that from Rose before she came in.Gather the troops, I have something to say I told Mason.

They all came here, and they all knew now that tomorrow we are not

going to Emirates for the holidays.

I was keeping it as a surprise for everyone. I managed to do so until

now. We are going to your homeland. I bought the tickets online The

ghosts were surprised indeed.

When I was born, you tried to leave me, but then you went back

because you couldn't. I remembered why you left, you were trying to bewith your families you have done so much for me, I don't know how

else I can repay you all. I want you to see your families. I have a backup

story of why they would receive letters from all of you. So when we get

there in the hotel, I will write to them all what you want to say and then

visit them so you can see them once again

They all were happy to know what the surprise was. Chow came to

me and tried to embrace me without touching me, or maybe he did but I

couldn't feel it. The others joined him too, and I wasn't tired anymore.

How about we start writing those letters now? I said.

Ladies first

That is what Jack had said, so we went to Emma's parents first. She

found out that they were both alive, and that she has a younger sister

now. They named her Emma, too. She looked almost like her, all of the

ghosts agreed. I told them of the story I had prepared, something just tolet the idea of a message coming from beyond the grave to be more

believable.

Her baby sister, who was three years younger than me, started to cry

when she heard what her sister had to say to her family. Emma went and

hugged her, and then she went and hugged her family.


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I'll stay with them for a while, I'll meet you tonight at the hotel

Emma told me.

Thank you very much, thank you both parents and their daughter

hugged me in tears.

I said my goodbyes, and then I went to the second family on the list.It was Jack's family and they existed in the same state. There were four

states. Three of the ghosts families were at the one we're at right now,

two at the next, and two others were at the one to follow, and then

there's one last stop, one that I didn't tell the ghosts about.

Let's go and see my girlfriend first Jack said.

After going through another tear shed, we went to Jack's family.

Thank you, Mister Hassan, it was really nice of you to come all this

way for this I think this will give closure to certain things Jack'swidow said.

It was my pleasure I wish there's something more I can do

This was more than enough

I excused myself, telling her that I have more letters to deliver. Once

we were outside, Jack stopped us. I kept walking, he forgave me because

we were in public, but the others had to suffer a topic which will hunt us

for a very long time.

Did you see that my girlfriend was sadder than my wife?!! Jack

said.

We were now at the second state, and we started to wonder why none

of the ghosts was a New Yorker. Three ghosts were about to meet their

families. Chow won the pick this time. He was about to see his wife and

for the first time, his daughter, who was three months old when she was

inside her mother's womb.

I knocked the door using a door knocker, feeling like a character

from an old mystery novel. For some reason Chow stood in front of me

and he had a strange look on his face. He stared at me, waiting forsomething.

The door opened and a woman appeared. I saw Chow's lips and read

what they said.

That's right, I had a hot blond wife and then he winked. He was

looking at me so he can see my surprised face; he had never mentioned


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his wife to me. The woman in front of me studied me and then she

placed her hand on the glasses which she hanged on her neck. This gave

me the chance to reply to Chow.

She's old too I said. Chow turned to see the old lady next to him.

Yes? May I help you? the woman said.Mother in law Chow explained who she was. The woman kept

looking at me for an answer while I was interpreting Chow's signs.

Oh ah My name is Hassan the woman frowned. What would a

man named Hassan want from someone like me? I bet that's what she

was thinking at the time.

I I have a very late message to misses Chow. It's from her late

husband, First sergeant Steven Chow the expressions changed in her

face for some reason, she started to cry, she covered her mouth and triedto contain her emotions. She tried to find the words, but I continued,

telling her the reason why would I be carrying a letter with Steven's

name on it.

I was visiting my uncle from my mother's side in Iraq, he works at a

hospital, and as I was with him he showed me those letters, from

ghos I swallowed from soldiers to their families and friends.

And, for some reason, I couldn't help but to think about the letters and

about them. So I took it upon myself to deliver these letters... maybe

help to give the closure they deserve

She looked at the crank bag I carried, I realized she was wondering

what letters I had in there.

I wish he was alive she said. Her tears started to increase, her

feelings were becoming overwhelming, too overwhelming actually.

Suddenly, for my surprise, she pulled me inside the house. She closed

the door and burst into tears. I waited for her to drain all the emotions. I

reached for a tissue basket I had spotted and gave it to her to place a dam

over her waterfall eyes.I'm sorry this family has been through so much this year, and we

don't know what we should do? I feel helpless Chow and the others

read her lips, the spirit of her son in law told me to ask her what had

happened this year.


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May I ask what exactly happened ma'am? I said. She led me to a

chair and then she told us something I never thought I'd hear. Chow was

struck so hard when he knew what happened to his wife.

Metropolitan Correctional Center; it was a prison in Chicago, holding

both female and male inmates. Chow had a grim expression on his face.

Thank god the other ghosts were able to convince him to stay with us

and not go on his own. We said that we will all go and see her, his

widow, it will be better if she read his message first. We will also try to

know something else other than what her mother had told us; that she

was held for almost a year, for murder.

I sat waiting for her to arrive. There was a guard who was surprisedto see me, wondering who that first time visitor was? She didn't have to

wonder, the conversation will start soon.

What's your purpose of visit? another guard in there asked me, he

had tree logs for forearms and a belly of a beast. My mind took its time

before it was able to work again; changing the language and the accent

did that. I used Scouse, Liverpool's most used accent.

I have a message, from her husband I showed it to him. I saw Rod,

trying to talk Chow into staying here and to be patient.

You can place it here and go, I'm pretty sure she can read the man

said, he was looking at me; waiting for a reply, or maybe he was

trying to say something else, maybe he did, between his words.

I'm sure she can but I can explain why it took it twenty years to

reach her, her husband died in the war and I found letters, for her and

others, too pretty amazing. I said, hoping this would repel him.

After he glared at me, making my smile fade and my face to turn

back forward, he spoke again.

A war hero, is he? Good thing he's not here nowYes good thing he wasn't here in the flesh, he would have broken

his tree log forearm like a twig.

The door opened, a female guard came at first and then a woman,

she walked slowly, she was blond, her head was looking down, but we

could still see her face her face. I thought Chow would materialize the


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moment he saw her bruised face and her black eye. She looked at me. I

thought she would be surprised to see someone like me ask for her.

But she didn't react, she didn't care she was in despair and without

hope anymore. It was a sore sight.

The officer stayed behind, giving us little privacy. She sat, sayingnothing. I looked at her, not knowing how to start. And Chow poor

man, he was really struck at the site of his wife, his widow. I looked

back at her. Her black eye caught my sight again.

Ask her what happened? Chow said.

May I ask... what happened to you? I managed to say. She must

have noticed me looking at her bruised eye and thought that I meant

what made her look like that, and not why she's here in jail.

I her eyes went down, she adjusted herself in her seat, she wasnervous.

I fell she said lying to me, not wanting anyone to know that she

had been beaten, otherwise she would get herself into more trouble.

Chow if he had vocals, the glass in the room would have shattered, he

was soundlessly screaming in rage when he understood her. I could

almost hear his muted cry, and I even felt the urge to cry out with him.

My head went down, and I placed my hand on my forehead. I started to

repeat to myself what reminds me of life, that it will end one day, so we

won't need to fear anything, and that we will be judged according to

what we do.

We are GOD'S, and to HIM we'll return we are GOD'S and to

HIM we'll return.

I looked back at her, she saw my expression, realized my sympathy,

something in that made her speak.

Do I know you? she asked, I shook my head.

My name my name is Hassan I I know that you have been in

rough times, I hope this would make things easier I handed the letter toher.

Steve?? I saw her face change. I remembered one thing in his

letter; it was the same in all the letters. They may have been different but

they all had the same meaning, to never lose hope and that they've

always been loved by them. Her tears run slowly through her cheeks, she


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Is this guy serious? one said.

He looks serious what do you say we kick his ass off? the other

said.

Id say that would be a good lesson

I would have to see if I was really a good psychiatrist. Well. Heregoes. I thought.

I don't think you want that I'll pass out; maybe have my ass

broken I winked at the one who held her hand but either way, I won't

die. I'll just get up, bring some cops and you will have your life wasted,

I'm pretty sure Yural would be glad to witness for me. So do you

really want to waste your lives for someone like me? they kept looking

at me, time froze for seconds.

Hey boys, cut that out an old man said from the other table, he waswith two of his friends.

People are trying to eat here

The man in front of me looked at me for two more seconds, and then

he spoke.

See you around I never did.

They left the place and I read their lips as they were outside, they said

some pretty things about me. But at least I was able to talk myself out of

it. Or was it the old man at the table who prevented it? I thought at the

time.

She looked at me and she smiled, her eyes didn't smile with her, she

faked it. She was like her mother, almost lifeless.

Thank you she said and then she went back to her work. I wasn't

sure I should talk to her, but I didn't have a choice; it was for my friend,

Chow. I didn't start the conversation yet, I ordered a cup of coffee and

decided to immediately act at the right time.

It won't happen in there. I went outside and waited because it felt like

I was there for too long. I decided to wait for her to finish. But instead, I

found out through Chow that she was starting an extra shift, so that she


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could earn more money. I considered that if she saw me it would look

like I was stalking her.

I went back to the hotel. Chow stayed with his daughter, it was the

first time he had ever seen her. I thought it would be good for him,

surely it would be better than watching his wife, but I found out laterthat he did go there too. They went with him; he shouldn't be alone for

this.

Reed came to me and he told me that they were doing fine, and then

he asked me to go and see a friend of his, working at a bar three blocks

away from where were we. I thought since things aren't going to move

any faster with Yural, I decided to take a walk and meet his childhood

friend.

Glenn, Chow's wife in his previous life, held the letter in her hand as

she lied down; Emma told me that. It gave her comfort as she heard the

woman in the cell next to her trying to scare her. Chow was lucky he

can't hear. He only felt the same comfort every time he saw her squeeze

the envelope in her hand.

I sat at a bar, waiting for the man Im here for to come to me, but he

was a little bit busy. Every time a bartender comes for me I just tell them

I'm waiting for someone.

Come on man, try something Jack told me. My mommy, did the

talking for me.

Excuse me the one I wanted came to me.

If you are not ordering, then get out! he said. Reed laughed at that,

he told me it was as if he had never left. I saw the memories reflect

through his words.

I don't drink actually I'm here to the man came from behind thebar and he went towards me; he was about to kick me out.

I'm here to see you I said once he was in front of me.

I'm really sorry, but you are not my type he pulled me by the shirt

and showed me the door.


16/36

I went back to the hotel and I woke up the second day. Just as I was

about to go out through the front door, Reed guided my attention to

someone, I turned and saw who it was.

We need to talk Yural, Chow's daughter said.

Sure Where?It was at the hotel's caf. I asked her if she wanted to have something

at first. Coffee was her choice and a logical one too; she worked two

shifts today, her body must have been exhausted for a very long time

now that I think of it, we could tell.

Who are you? she asked.

I was about to tell you but I didn't have a chance to do so your

mother told you?

No my grandmother and Rico told meRico??... oh, Reed's friend from the bar, right? I saw her

expression, she was searching her memories.

I heard that name before, Rico told me about him. He served with

my father

Yes he did I answered.

He doesn't know you, but when I heard of both descriptions from

him and my Nana, I suddenly remembered you, at our caf you were

there to talk about my father? I nodded.

I know how he died she said.

Me too he died honourably she looked at me in a strange way, I

stroked a nerve.

I'm tired of hearing that what did his honour do to us?? I had a

tough childhood, my mother is in jail and I am here, tired, instead of

heading home. I'm here to listen to a ghost story she looked away,

trying at the same time to contain the burst of emotions which leaked

from her.

Sorry to hear that I said.I just hope that child he saved was worth it you know about him?

she asked, apparently Rico told her how her father died, for what, and

for who; me.

If I know who he is, I would kill him myself maybe that will

break the curse


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That was a strong shot at me. If only she new who the child was, and

that he is sitting right in front of her.

Tell me what happened exactly I asked.

Even if you think I can't help, you will feel better just letting it out

Like a shrink? she said and I laughed quietly.Actually, I am a shrink. Well, still two years to go, I'm studying in

Liverpool

And how was it that you came to know about these letters? I gave

her the make up story. That sounds strange; you burdening yourself

over these letters

It was no burden; at least I got to see the US for the first time. A

couple of hugs from the families were a good boost. she smiled. When

I saw your mother for the first time, she well I'm sure you know howhard things with her are but I saw her come back to life when she read

the letter. This trip of mine really worth it

She was looking at my eyes, trying to see the sincerity in them. And

then, Thank you the reply came from herI nodded.

Tell me what happened exactly, and what had happened throughout

the year?

My mother was dating someone, they were happy together, but for

two weeks they kept fighting with each other. She thought that he was

cheating on her and I told her to just leave him and move on anyhow,

she continued her relationship with him, trying to restore their previous

romantic life and one day, when I was in my room, I heard a shot. It

woke me up. I went out, only to find her lying on the ground with a gun

in her hand and Fredrick, her lover, dead on the floor

I see it was the only reply I had in mind at the time.They called it a crime of passion, and they say the trauma caused her

to block things out, or that she is faking it she was still looking tired,

even after two cups of coffee. I told her to go and rest at her place. As I

was escorting her out, she turned to me.

Do you think she did it? she asked.


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I'll be heading home she said. I said my goodbye and then went to

see Rico again.

Twice in a raw? he said once he saw me, and then he brought out a

bat. I turned away and went out, Reed told me it's alright, I don't have to

go to him again.Rod, who was with Chow at the moment, just came and told us that

the detective can't get anything from the department. He read his lips

and realized that he was staying at the same hotel I was in. That was a

good sign. We didn't know how he looked like. The ghosts have to

depend on their guts. They roamed around and found seventeen men

alone in their rooms. Their guts settled on only four, so they would wait

till tomorrow to see exactly who the one to follow is.

I would never had expected my night would turn the way it had. I had

a nightmare before I woke up, it was something about a snake, I couldn't

remember. But it woke me none the less, and it made me see chaos in

the real world. Chow was moving his hands hysterically, I reached for

the table lamp and the illumination caused Chow and the others to sense

me.

They are about to do something to my wife! he was there with her

the entire night; he saw her getting out of her cell, led by one officer,

tree log forearms guy. And then he left her in the laundry room, he then

went to two women and then he stood next to them, without his wife

looking. Chow saw that he had given them money. He went to him and

read his lips.

Wait till the cameras are off, like the last time he told the two

women and handed them a shiv.

I picked the phone and called the police, dialling 911 like everyHollywood movie had taught me, but I hung up instantly. No one would

believe me of course, I wanted to say that she was the one to tell me that

she is being abused every night, but then I would put her in more

trouble. I wasn't sure what to do; anything I say may backfire at her,

least at me. But I had to do something.


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Please I beg you I felt helpless.

I don't know what to do I'm sorry, I really am I told Chow. Tears

forced themselves through my eyes, the tears of sadness for my friend

and the tears of anger from being helpless, I felt like both ran through

each eye. He kept begging, to me and the others. I saw Jack's lips movein curses. My mother reached for him to comfort him, the others they

were thinking. I couldn't catch what Rod had asked Reed, but I picked

up soon afterward.

Yes he does, I'm sure he does Reed replied to him.

Hassan, please Chow begged.

What?! I asked the two ghosts, they hesitated. Tell me, come on,

I'll do anything, just tell me

She was all alone, and they started to corner her. I kicked the door

open; it was an apartment Reed guided me to. I entered and flipped on

the lights. Reed passed through walls to search for it, and in the seconds

that it took him to do so, my eyes glanced at a framed picture on Rico's

television. It was a picture of Reed and him, in camouflaged uniform

and painted faces too. Reed appeared and it was only a matter of seconds

before I was able to get on the roof.

It was my first time to use a sniper rifle, Rod came next to me, and he

showed me exactly how to load. I placed myself on the roof's ledge, Rod

pointed at the recoil pad and pointed towards my shoulder, I placed my

other hand below and close to where the barrel was and used the same

hand to support myself on the ledge. I held my breath like Rod had told

me to. He levelled his hand higher and I started levelling my aim

accordingly, his ghostly face went through the barrel to look through it,

to make sure I aimed at the right place. That was all happening veryquickly.

I braced myself for the shot, and then I squeezed the trigger.

My ears started to whistle, the colossal sound the rifle made deprived

me of my senses for a couple of seconds. Chow went to the prison, he

saw that there was still calmness in the place, I took another shot, and a


21/36

third one before everyone within range of the prison was able to hear the

alarm. The two women in front of Glenn thought that the prison alarm

was meant for them. They left the shiv and ran away, leaving her crying

all alone in the corner.

I walked down stairs, Rod pointed at the ammo cartridge and then hepointed at the release button, I removed the ammo so I would return

things back the way it was; at least I won't let Rico say he was robbed or

something but then again, it didn't matter, because there he was,

looking at me after he had reached the stairs, attempting to see if the

robber had went to the roof instead of showing his face and loot to

people.

He looked at the rifle and then at me his eyes widened when he

realized who I was.What the hell is wrong with you?? he said. You broke into my

apartment?? Wait a sec he looked at the ammo magazine and I

realized that he saw that there were bullets missing.

Did you just use that?

I swallowed I became silent for a second.

I can explain

Please do

Well I was helping

Rico?? we both heard a sound, someone was calling.

Stay away Yural Rico ordered, his eyes still fixed on me.

Yural? Are you there? I called, and I saw the surprise on his face.

You know her? he asked.

She came from behind and looked at the both of us. Hassan? she

said.

Explain Rico said. I wasn't able to do so, I was done telling my

secret to anyone, I promised myself I will keep it for me and Tony and

of course, Elizabeth. Also, I would have a harder time explaining ghosts

to those two.


22/36

I can't actually but I would ask you to trust me Is he serious?

he looked at Yural.

Rico you didn't give me the chance to speak with you I came to

you for a reason

And what's that?You're going to like this Yural said.

Does your grandma knows youre here? he snapped back at her.

I wanted to talk you are the only one I can talk to, you were there

when my father wasnt

Chow was here for this now, I felt him, and I felt his sadness.

We'll get to that so, now is your chance, what do you want from

me?

You knew them all his eyebrows raised.And who are you talking about?

Them I pointed to the pictures he had in the apartment.

Especially Reed, you knew Chow too, Rodriguez, Mason all of

them

How do you know them?? How is it possible you know them all??

I explained again the reason why I had letters with their names on

them.

So only those eight letters, huh? You say you have one from Reed

to me? I nodded.

We'll get to that so what do you want, Yural? he turned his

attention to her.

I had come with new information, guess where the money to our

lawyer is coming from?... Fredrick himself

The father? Fredrick senior? Rico had a look of surprise on his

face, and I had a look of curiosity.

Who's Fredrick?? I asked.

The father of the victim, the one who dated Glenn he answered me,and then he switched his attention back to Yural.

You think he is trying to sabotage the trial against your mother?

I'm not sure. I confronted the lawyer, he said that he only received

the money, he had never got any instructions with it and that he was


23/36

doing his best he said since there was money why would he question

it?

Im sure he would not and he is taking from the both of us at the

same time, too

So should you go talk to him... again?And have myself sued again?... yeah, sure, I will, but we would be

wasting our time and money

So?

So we go to him, we will confront the father Rico said. You

should get going, I will talk to you tomorrow and we will finish things

later she got up and went home. I sat, knowing for sure that he would

rain questions on me. The first one was hard to answer because it

confused me.How did you get the nerve to enter my place, steal my rifle and use

it?

I did it because I had to keep Chows wife from harm

You mean Glenn? I addressed her as Chow's wife, as if he is here,

alive, and that I actually know him as a friend.

I knew from her that she is being harassed in there, and I wanted to

make sure that she will have a break today, or even for a couple of days,

the prison is in a tighter security alert now

My bullets wont be traced, but that doesn't mean I would look over

the fact that you have broke into my place and used my rifle, which Im

curious about how you knew I had one?

I knew you were military. I started to feel more and more concerned

because I know how it feels to be helpless, thats what I saw when I

visited her and delivered Chows message

I was thinking at the same time about the day I was attacked, the first

time I saw them; the ghosts. And I also thought of the time when my

sister was attacked by the same person, a person I killed, thats why Iknew how it felt to be helpless.

I looked you up and you kicked me away every time I came, so I

had to do what I had to do Im sorry

Get out and dont ever come here, Ill simply just make you

disappear, I had done it many times for things less than that


24/36

No he hasnt Reed said. I nodded, believing his word over his

friend who knew him better than me.

I went back to the hotel, thinking that I was glad things are moving in

a steadier current, but I saw a person; I recognized him and his huge

forearms. It was the prison guard, he was looking casual.

I hid, moving my lips so they would understand why I did that.

Its the prison guard! Its the prison guard!

I stayed hidden and then I moved outside, figured that they would

eventually tell me what would happen after watching him.

But, for some reason, he spun around. I think he caught me from thefurthest corner of his eye. He saw me, he left the hotels clerk and then

he followed me. I ran, I had the advantage, but I only had it over him

and him alone, not over the other man, who was outside and who tackled

me, picking me up from behind and moving me out of the streets, and

damn it into an alley.

I used my force to at least bring my legs to the ground. Once they

were there, Joseph came in front of me, but I reacted before he told me

how, using an easy move he taught me; I bent down, grabbed one of his

legs and pulled it between my legs. He went down, his head hit the floor

and I gave a quick punch to the face, which only left him slightly dizzy.

The other man had just arrived, he was taller and stronger. He swung his

big hand at me; its weight could have been the reason why I was able to

move a little faster, and to be able to duck. He lost his balance, I gave a

knee kick to his side, but it was my mistake. His body absorbed the hit,

he grabbed me, and then he used every bit of strength to pick me up and

over his head, I tried to rattle myself out of his hold, he turned into the

wall and then he threw me towards it.It really hurts, I was on the cold ground, and I had my hand on my

side, I felt something, something damp, it was blood on my shirt. It

was now shown on my hand, they saw it too. I looked up, and saw some

trace of it on a large screw on the wall.I am screwed. My mind

somehow kept its sense of humour.


25/36

Now let me say this once, we will let you off for one reason, we

want to get rid of this damn case because it had taken us a very long

time so you get the hell out and return from wherever you came from

He said.

Whats going on who the hell are you?! I barked.There he goes again his friend said What did I tell you about

sticking your nose? the one who threw me came to me; I got up and

leaned on the wall behind me.

I guess we have to crack that skull open and make sure our warning

goes inside I was readying myself, Joseph pointed to his knee.

Tsk tsk tsk a sound came someone was looking at us.

Two against one??

This is none of your business the man with the normal height said.Wanna run that one again for me?? the man said, I realized who it

was, they all did, especially the ghosts; it was Rico.

The man went for him, and the big one in front of me went back to

me.

Where were we? he growled. I was focusing back at him, once he

came close I attacked his knee with a front kick. A whisper of pain came

through his clenched teeth. He grabbed me again with one hand, and

suddenly, once I looked him in the eye, his head was pushed away from

my sight by a strong blow from Ricos fist; it came to his temple,

resulting into a slumber. I saw what had happened to the other man, his

eyes were shut, but I saw his mouth move, he was not completely out.

This is bigger than what we think I nodded to Rico. Good thing I

came for the letter

The morning came. We called Yural, Rico told her about the last

event and that I had to spend the night on his couch.Are you alright? she asked.

Yes, thank god its not a deep wound

You got WOUNDED?! she was shocked, she didnt know, she

only saw the bruise on my face.


26/36

Rico did a good job fixing me, its nothing. I think we should go and

talk to him now

We stood outside his house. Yural was the one who called him

through the intercom. He came out, wearing a white shirt and a blue

jeans, he was thin, in his sixties probably, his hair was gray, whiter inthe scale.

I thought I asked you not to come here ever again those were his

first words to her, he didnt even looked at the both of us.

I had to, you are the one who is paying for the legal bills, why are

you doing that? she confronted him. He took a deep breath, and looked

away; his eyes went back to her.

I saw you; I saw your mothers concern, even though she took his

life I was surprised she was able to hold herself when he said that, shewas stronger than what I thought it doesnt mean you are the one who

should pay this is my only good deed to you so please, just leave, it

is still hard to deal with this she wanted to speak, but I saw that she was

trying to not make things worse, she was the daughter of the killer in his

mind.

Excuse me, sir Rico spoke.

Yesterday a man tried to get this guy Rico placed his hand on

my shoulder, he continued after he removed his hand. someone also

tried to kill Glenn in prison, it was the same person who attacked our

guy here Glenn loved your son, I saw them come to my bar many

times, and I have known her and her husband since a very long time

we think that she had been framed

Can you please just leave me be? I am not in the mood to discuss the

death of my son

Sir I spoke, hoping that I may be able to help, if we convince

him he may be able to help with her situation, if he was to witness for

her character then that would surely be helpful.I know you had suffered a great loss, and Im sorry to say that I

dont understand what you are going through but I do understand that

the real person who is responsible is out there the law may not be able

to claim your right, but if you dont help us it will claim what is wrong

from someone innocent. Do you want that? he only looked at me, he


27/36

was angry. Please we want just the little help that you can provide

Yural said.

He took a deep breath and then he said The evidence is against her. I

had lost my son I dont care anymore about anything, I lost my wife

first and now my son he was talking out of his emotions and I thoughtwhat I said would make a difference but it didnt.

He raised his finger, threatening us as he continued So stay away

from me, I dont want to ever hear from any of you ever again he shut

the door and our hope was lost.

We were walking away from the house, when suddenly, Yural started

to cry, Rico comforted her while I ran to get a taxi cab.

I sat with Chow, the poor guy; he was really helpless and extremely

sad. How would he ever return with me after all that had happened? He

would never be the same. I started to think about what else I could do?

But nothing was coming out of my head. I decided to call my mother, so

I would ask for more money. I thought I should extend my stay, only for

him.

Dont tell me you are spending money on a new girlfriend, Hassan

My mother said on the phone, I heard laughter next to her, coming from

my little sister, it made me feel longing to see them again.

Well, dont worry; Ill convince your father

Yes you will, after all, you are my banking system.

I said my goodbyes and then I went back, as I waited for the elevator

to come, I started to see whats ahead of me, how things will be when I

go back, I would have to go to Liverpool at first.

Liverpool Professor Luke. The memory of the conversation I had

with him at the park came back to me.The elevators door opened, I saw my bruised face reflecting in front

of me. I entered and turned away from it.

You have to know if you are a good psychiatrist or just a smart

person. My memory went on its own, it went back to the conversation

we had today and it made me think again, am I a good psychiatrist, after


28/36

what I had said to Fredrick senior I thought it would make a difference,

but it didnt. I did choose psychiatry because I had spent a little time

with the one who helped me when I was seventeen, after the first time I

saw the ghosts, and I remember telling her, doctor Eta, its because I had

good grades, that was my first answer to her when she asked me why Ichose psychiatry.

I was lost. Why wasnt I able to convince him to help us? The

elevator stopped.

Why, damn it?! Am I really not cut out to be a good psychiatrist?

The exact memory of the conversation came back, and

subconsciously, I started to slow down, I remembered every detail

now and then why didn't he help us?? After all that I had said, why

wasnt he convinced? Why was he mad?? I thought.My mother looked at me, and so did the others they were trying to

see what I was thinking about.

No!! He wasnt mad that was no anger he was irritated, there

was something else he was really trying not to bring up the trial, or

the situation, he was trying to stay away he was avoiding us

why??

I looked at Mason and then I spoke.

The man we went to, he wasnt convinced of what I had said, and

the way he acted, he was hiding something, Im sure of it

What do you mean? he was confused.

I mean we should watch him

I went down, and waited for Mason and the others to come back,

twenty minutes later, I was with Rico at his bar.

Do you know a police officer you can trust? I asked. He looked at

the corner of the bar, where there were five police officers in uniforms.

Why? he asked.

I heard the doors open, and then my fingers tightened on what I held

in my hand. Fredrick entered his house and I was hiding in the darkness,

the lights came on, and a sound came afterward. Fredrick was able to


29/36

hear that sound, too; it came from his office. He quickly opened a door

which was below the staircase, and he pulled a bolt action Varminter

rifle. He ran to where the sounds had come from and he opened the door

and saw who it was.

YOU?!! he said, not believing who he was looking at.NO NO, PLEASE, DONT SHOOT, I GIVE UP it was Rico, he

begged for his life, Mason saw that he was now lying down, with his

face on the floor.

DONT SHOOT! Fredrick looked at him for a second, and then he

said one thing.

You are trespassing he said.

But I give up, please dont shoot

Fredrick looked at him and then he squeezed on the trigger hesqueezed again. still nothing. I took the bullets from every weapon he

had in the house after the ghosts had located them for me, including the

hand gun he had in his office.

Rico got up, he looked at him. I, on the other hand, was away from

sight and only looking at Mason and the shadows of Fredrick and Rico.

You didnt hesitate Rico said. Why didnt you?? I was begging for

my life

You were trespassing I had the right came Fredricks answer.

We wont discuss that, even though I was begging and practically

was face down on the floor it is a weird thing, but it is not stranger

than what you had done today I saw the shadow of Fredrick lower the

rifle.

You were trying to shove us away, even after hearing about how we

think your son was the victim of someone else, and it was still a strange

thing that you are paying for the lawyers expenses

I told you everything about it

You didnt tell us about those real estates, and of the businesses youhave right now, you are spreading your money everywhere, but to things

that would bring more back to you, in another word, you are burying

your money so you would dig it up later, am I right?


30/36

What I do with my money is of no concern of yours you get out

of the house before I call the cops Fredrick turned away so he can reach

the phone.

Is it your money? Rico said and Fredrick paused.

You had lost your wife a long time ago, but your son didnt lose hismother

What do you mean? Fredrick said. I heard him; he was trying to

contain what he already knows.

Who was his mother, Fredrick? Who was his real mother? I kept

watching the shadow display, Fredrick rubbed his forehead.

Who was she, the one who died last year?? A week before him

Damn you the man said.

How would you know?It was because of Mason, he watched him as Fredrick was at a

meeting with the lawyer and the jail guards Rico had dealt with, they

talked about wanting extra payment for what he is paying them for, so

they would keep doing their things and keep our tongues tight about

your ex-mistress Mason read the large mans lips when he said it to

Fredrick. When we looked up the information about his wife, we found

out about his ex-wife, too, the real mother of Glenns dead boyfriend. He

had divorced her a very long time ago, but she agreed for custody to

Fredrick senior.

I have friends I can depend on now, they dug out your secret she

was a very rich woman, wasnt she? I saw the shadow of Fredrick

starting to get uneasy.

I know also that she had died last year, a heart attack, natural causes.

So she dies, her money must go somewhere, am I right? She was still

single, so who do you think the money will go to?? He paused. There

was no verbal answer, but I was sure that the reaction that I was not able

to see was enough as an answer.And who was the person responsible of the inheritance? Our own

dear friend, the lawyer you paid, am I also right on this one? Did you

promise him some of the money? And did you promise some to some

dirty cops?


31/36

Damn you Fredrick said. You have no proof, this is only

speculations. His death points at her you wont be able to pin that on

me!! Fredrick shouted.

Come on Rico, come on.

My friend followed you; he taped what had happened from whereyou just came. Didnt you just paid a visit to the prison guard so you

would pay him some money? And if my memory served me correctly

the memory of what I had told him, what I had transferred from what

Mason had read he said that he would keep his mouth shut, you will

have your money, and the bitch will take the blame?

He tried to run, towards the door, Rico got to him, cutting his path.

He swung his hand, Rico blocked it easily. They were in my line of sight

from where I was hiding.I will not go to jail for this!! Fredrick shouted.

He ran the opposite way and to his office. He reached for his gun and

he pointed it at Rico.

I was so close you son of a bitch, I was so close Rico raised his

hands, the position of the shadows were now switched.

I would have that money and everything would have been done

damn you! I saw the shadow hesitate to shoot. He may have realized

that since the rifle was already tempered with it would be the same for

the hand gun he is holding right now for sure. Yet a clicking sound of

an empty gun came.

Okay you got me I did it so what do you think is better, you

getting out of here with me in jail? Or you getting out of here as a rich

man. I only promised them with little money, you however, can get out

with the big prize so what do you think?? You want to go back to that

bar life? Or do you want to own your own business, or hell, just live

your life we got him I placed the call.

Well tempting but I think I would rather like the idea of youbeing someone elses bitch in prison

The sound of a police siren came, we all heard it. I came out from

where I was, Fredrick looked at me and said nothing. I handed the audio

recorder to Rico, and then got out of the place so he would handle it on

his own, without me being involved, and just in case, so I wont have


32/36

troubles as a foreigner in this country. I only heard Fredrick scream his

lungs out after realizing that his confession was recorded.

Two days later, we stood outside the Prison, waiting. And we saw

Chows widow, Glenn, coming towards us. She was looking at her

daughter. I saw the tears starting to run on their cheeks, and then they

came pouring once they were in each others embrace.

Thank you thank you, you two she went and hugged both me

and Rico at the same time. There were two taxi cabs, one for them and

the other was for me, I was still not done with the other messages; two

ghosts remained.You are leaving? Glenn asked. My sight went to Chow who was

next to her, smiling.

Im afraid I have to, I have to finish with those letters before I go

back to Liverpool to my university

But you have done so much for us, I wish theres a way we can

repay you

If you repay me then it wont be a good deed now, would it? I said,

smiling.

Well Yural said. I may be able to help with something

I sent the taxi driver on his way, and then went back home with them.

We borrowed Ricos old car and we drove till we were in Los Angeles.

I will always be in your debt, Hassan. Thank you, my brother

Chow said to me.

We visited Josephs family, and then we delivered them the letter I

wrote on Josephs behalf. I and Yural shared some hugs with the family;

his wife and his twin sons who are now five years older than me.

We saw only Masons father, his mother died ten years ago, his fatherwas really proud of his son. He shook my hand and Yurals, and then we

parted our ways.

We went back to the car. So where next? and then her cell phone

rang, it was her mother.


33/36

Hassan? Mason came to me, I saw the ghosts smiling at me for

some reason, but I had already suspected what the reason was, and I was

surprised why they didnt have brought it already.

We were waiting for you to realize something we are only eight

ghosts, the ones who are Americans are seven so for who is theeighth letter? I only smiled.

When Yural was done, I pulled a piece of paper that I kept in my

wallet; it was an address of a person. The ghosts had read it and they all

werent sure where we were going.

We reached the location. I got out of the car and walked with Yural

to a small house, I pushed the bell button and then we waited, the ghosts

were all behind us.

The door opened and a woman in her sixties stood in front of me.Yural had never met her before, but I was able to feel the tension behind

me.

May I help you, young kids? the woman said, she was smiling at

the sight of two youngsters at her door, she looked at me for an extended

amount of time due to the bruise that I had on my face, she had her

glasses hanged around her neck like Yurals Nana.

Misses Northwood? I said.

Yes? she replied. The ghosts who still didnt recognize her knew

who she is now; they read my lips after they stood next to me to

understand what is being said. She was the wife of the late Captain Alex

Northwood, the man who was responsible for the team, and the man

who had also lost his life for me, but he was not here in spirit with the

others. I owe him my life too, I had to do it, I had to show my

appreciation to him, to his wife.

I have a letter from your late husband, Captain Alex Northwood I

am really sorry it came so late I explained why, as I had explained to

the others.She wore the glasses and read the letter. When she was done she took

off the glasses and looked at us.

Thank you, both of you, this means a lot we said our goodbyes and

then we walked back to the car.

Excuse me? What are your names? she called.


34/36

Im Yural and he is Hassan

Can I ask you something?

We went back to her doorstep so we would hear her question.

I understand that my husband had died trying to save someone, a

woman and a boy. I know that she had died and the boy lived do youknow what happened to him? She gave her question. I looked at her,

and then I smiled.

He is doing very well he was adopted by his aunt, he lives in

Emirates, he is now studying psychology in Liverpool and he came all

this way right now to tell you how much he appreciate what your

husband, and his teammates had done for him I saw the look of shock

on them both. I am really sorry for your loss maam, I cant tell you

how I wish things were otherwise, but I will always be grateful for him,and the others I saw a tear running on her cheek, it was as if she was

looking at a miracle.

Thank you, Hassan she said. We said our goodbyes again and then

we went back to the car.

Im sorry I didnt tell you I told Yural.

I understand, after what I had said about you its ok

We went back to Chicago so she would go to her mother and so I

would go to my plane, since I changed my ticket because of the previous

circumstances, which ended very well. I was really happy for them, it

was a happy ending, my first, could be my only, I thought at the time. It

was one of those happy endings you wish for in movies. They all came

for me, Rico, Glenn and Yural, so they would say goodbye. I was ready

to go, but Yural came to me.

Im sorry for what I said

Its fine I told her.

My father did give his life for someone who deserved it, if he

hadnt, you wouldnt have saved my mother and us she said. I smiledand lowered my head.

I wish my father was here though she said.

Oh I dont know I like to think that he is here right now in

spirit I smiled, wishing she knew what I already know.


35/36

Well if he was here, I dont think he would approve of this she

leaned and kissed me, wrapping her hands around me. Time stood still

while her lips kept moving with mine.

I looked at her, smiled at her, knowing that I wont be seeing her

most probably. She pulled away and went back to her mother and Rico,who saluted me before he had turned away with them.

My smile started to grow more, and then my eyes went to Chow who

was looking at me, expressionlessly.

Wipe that smile off your face his lips moved and I read them. The

ghosts laughed at the scene, I started to walk away and they started to

cheer for me, except for Chow. Their hands went pass me, my mom was

walking backward in front of me, winking at me, giving me a thumb up.

All that made my face smile even more, making me look more like aclown.

Kiss much?! a man said to me as he was passing by.

I woke up in my dorm. I saw that there was more sunlight in my

room than it should be, and I saw all the ghosts urging me to wake up. I

looked at the alarm clock and realized that I was late for my lecture. I

think I had stopped the alarm subconsciously; I was jetlagged, and now I

was late. I woke up and changed, moving as fast as I could, reaching

fifteen minutes late for my lecture. I opened the door, being late always

attracts attention. They all looked at me, and they were all now looking

in shock. Professor Luke was also surprised when he saw me; I was late

and I had a bruise on my face.

Are you alright, Hassan? professor Luke asked.

Yes, professor, this was during my holiday I said. There was some

laughter in the class and I joined them.I know. Too much fun I said. Sorry professor for being late

Do you think its best for you to attend my lecture? only one

answer came to my mind.

More than ever I said and he smiled, as if he realized something

had changed in me during my holiday. I went to my seat and my college


36/36

life continued, knowing that now I fit here, and my choices are on the

right path.

THE END

psychs first

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