A presentation byMuhammad WajihAfaq RanaRamiz KhanMubasshir

Stages of Dying

When someone is told they are going to die and have only a short time to live, there are five basic stages they go through.

Stages of Dying

These stages were created by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross was a pioneer in the psychological field of death counseling.

Stages of Dying

While working with dying patients she analyzed what goes on in their minds.

Stages of Dying

From her experience-oriented research, she found five specific emotional and mental stages that are consistent with almost all patients

Stages of Dying

These five stages don't usually follow any particular order, and each can be experienced more than one time.

Stages of Dying

[State 1: Denial and Isolation] [Stage 2: Anger] [Stage 3: Bargaining] [Stage 4: Depression] [Stage 5: Acceptance]

DENIAL

Stage 1: Denial and Isolation

Upon receiving the information that one will not be able to live much longer, one responds by thinking that it can't be true.

Stage 1: Denial and Isolation

Sometimes one changes the subject when it's brought up, wanting to talk about something more cheerful and less negative.

Stage 1: Denial and Isolation Isolation is very much linked to

denial. By having less interaction with others, one escapes the possibility of talking about the subject.

Stage 1: Denial and Isolation

The thought of one's own life ending soon is a thought that's very difficult to get out of one's mind. It's nearly impossible to see death, accept it, and look past it into the remaining time one has.

Stage 1: Denial and Isolation

So one must sometimes move the thought way, brush it aside, in order to look past it and live the remaining life.

ANGER

Stage 2: Anger

"Why me?" is a question which is the product of resentment, rage, envy and anger.

Stage 2: Anger

And like anger that arises in every day situation, it can be transferred to people and situations that aren't related to what one is really angry at and which don't deserve such hostility.

Stage 2: Anger

Often what triggers anger is envy, observing something that one can no longer do because of new physical limitations, or something cherished that one will not be able to experience after one's life is over.

Stage 2: Anger

From such things, one can also have resentment towards their higher power, be it Buddha, God, etc, for making their life end.

Stage 2: Anger

Sometimes one really wants others to be reminded that, while death is now a common topic of discussion, one isn't dead right now, not yet. Anger can be an assertion of life.

BARGAINING

Stage 3: Bargaining

A dying person will try to bargain with the higher power in which they believe. This reaction comes from life experience.

Stage 3: Bargaining

One can often make a deal in order to get what is wanted. This is a consistent strategy that's almost always worth trying during life, and when faced with something as strikingly negative as death, it's only natural to use that strategy which has succeeded so many times before.

Stage 3: Bargaining

One wants to postpone their death as much as possible, and promises might be made so that maybe they can live a little longer.

Stage 3: Bargaining

Often this occurs in wanting to do a particular thing one last time, as in the opera singer who wishes to perform just once more, or the mother who wants in all the world to see her last son get married .

Stage 3: Bargaining

Bargaining also very often continues, having more promises to do good things in return for various experiences.

Stage 3: Bargaining

This points to the idea that wanting particular things "one last time" is merely a reflection of the more broad, deep desire to have one's time to live extended.

DEPRESSION

Stage 4: Depression

This stage seems the most easy to understand-- after all, who wouldn't be extremely sad when he is about to die? But depression for a dying person isn't as clear is it seems.

Stage 4: Depression

There are two different kinds, with two different causes. The first depression's source is found in frustration and complication.

Stage 4: Depression

Having to think about finances, family's emotions, medications, examinations, and a world of other issues is overwhelming. Self-esteem is added into the mix when it's called into question by deteriorating physicality.

Stage 4: Depression

All this adds to the second stage of anger, but also often causes a melancholy sadness. The second depression that a dying person goes into is about grief.

Stage 4: Depression

There's much emotional turmoil in truly contemplating one's own death, and more significantly, the end of one's own life and all that is and used to be in it.

Stage 4: Depression

Just as when one cries and is filled with sorrow at a loved one's end, so does one who is dying themselves. And in the same manner, it acts as emotional cleansing, necessary to the path of eventual acceptance.

ACCEPTANCE

Stage 5: Acceptance

A dying person, after enough time with the various stages in various orders, and even with various repetitions, comes to terms with their impending death.

Stage 5: Acceptance

This is different than the acceptance of reality that occurs on the conscious, mental level of reason-- that usually happens well before the final stage of acceptance.

Stage 5: Acceptance

It isn't the same as giving up, either, nor is it a time of joy. This is the acceptance of quiet expectation, when one is neither happy nor sad, but serene.

Stage 5: Acceptance

One doesn't usually want to talk much or have things to do. However, a good thing to have in this final stage is company.

Stage 5: Acceptance

Someone who can sit silently by a bedside, maybe holding a hand, is the best person to be with a person in the calm of acceptance.

A patient of Kubler-Ross described it as "the final rest before the long journey."