Me as the eldest sonMe as the eldest son

(how it is to be the family hero)(how it is to be the family hero)

IntroductionIntroduction

Younger brother Russell5 yrs Younger sister Emmanuella

7 yrs

My parentsMr. and Mrs. Berko

Me

• I have a family of 5 members in which I am the eldest son. I have I have a family of 5 members in which I am the eldest son. I have two younger siblings and they all look up to me as a hero.two younger siblings and they all look up to me as a hero.

• This presentation looks at the idea of the eldest son being a family This presentation looks at the idea of the eldest son being a family hero and my role in particular.hero and my role in particular.

• The key terms used in this presentation includes: Power; The key terms used in this presentation includes: Power; Representation; Groups, and the Self fulfilling prophecy.Representation; Groups, and the Self fulfilling prophecy.

RepresentationRepresentation

• This is the act of serving as a model, This is the act of serving as a model, symbol or example of something.symbol or example of something.

• One responsibility of older son in a family One responsibility of older son in a family is to set a good example for his siblings to is to set a good example for his siblings to follow.follow.

• He is regarded as wise and therefore is He is regarded as wise and therefore is seen as the mouth piece of the family. seen as the mouth piece of the family.

Power Power

• This is the possession of control, authority, This is the possession of control, authority, influence over others and the ability to determine influence over others and the ability to determine the course of event.the course of event.

• In a family, parents often instil power into their In a family, parents often instil power into their older son in terms of taking care of his siblings older son in terms of taking care of his siblings and their properties in their absence. He and their properties in their absence. He therefore has the authority as to what his therefore has the authority as to what his siblings can do and cannot do.siblings can do and cannot do.

• He is often seen as the backbone of the family He is often seen as the backbone of the family and will have responsibility over his siblings and will have responsibility over his siblings when, for example, his parents pass away.when, for example, his parents pass away.

History of the older son being History of the older son being legitimate to power.legitimate to power.

• The story of Isaac and his twins, Esau and Jacob in the The story of Isaac and his twins, Esau and Jacob in the bible describes the idea and the history of the older son bible describes the idea and the history of the older son being legitimate to both power and birthright. The birthright being legitimate to both power and birthright. The birthright in Isaac family was that the oldest son should receive in Isaac family was that the oldest son should receive double of all the things, including power, that they would double of all the things, including power, that they would leave behind after they died. leave behind after they died.

• Esau was the oldest so he had the birthright. So as the Esau was the oldest so he had the birthright. So as the story goes, Esau sold his birth right to his younger brother story goes, Esau sold his birth right to his younger brother Jacob for food thereby making his younger brother become Jacob for food thereby making his younger brother become leader on him.leader on him.

• Therefore, the idea making the older son legitimate to Therefore, the idea making the older son legitimate to power have now being spread to all families through out power have now being spread to all families through out the world. A notable example is the British royal family.the world. A notable example is the British royal family.

Who is next to the throne?Who is next to the throne?

• The eldest son of the Queen of The eldest son of the Queen of England is Prince Charles of England is Prince Charles of Wales and He will succeed the Wales and He will succeed the throne when the Queen throne when the Queen abdicates, retires or die. Prince abdicates, retires or die. Prince Williams will also succeed the Williams will also succeed the throne when Prince Charles of throne when Prince Charles of Wales abdicates, retires or die, Wales abdicates, retires or die, as Prince William is the eldest as Prince William is the eldest son of Prince Charles. son of Prince Charles.

• This also shows that the oldest This also shows that the oldest son in a family is legitimate to son in a family is legitimate to power and responsibility.power and responsibility.

Groups and the Ghanaian Groups and the Ghanaian familyfamily

• Dimbleby and Burton define group as a collection of Dimbleby and Burton define group as a collection of individuals who interact in some way and share some individuals who interact in some way and share some common goals or interest.common goals or interest.

• The Ghanaian family is hierarchical. People are The Ghanaian family is hierarchical. People are respected because of their age, experience, wealth and respected because of their age, experience, wealth and position. Older people are labelled as wise and are position. Older people are labelled as wise and are granted respect.granted respect.

• With respect comes great responsibility and people With respect comes great responsibility and people expect the most senior person to make decisions that expect the most senior person to make decisions that are in the best interest of the group.are in the best interest of the group.

• Therefore, being the oldest son in a family, you need to Therefore, being the oldest son in a family, you need to show the qualities of a leader which includes: discipline; show the qualities of a leader which includes: discipline; compromise; tolerance; confidence, reassurance, being compromise; tolerance; confidence, reassurance, being able to accept criticisms and encourage ideas.able to accept criticisms and encourage ideas.

The son as the family heroThe son as the family hero

• It was Walter M. Schirra Sr. who cited that and I quote, It was Walter M. Schirra Sr. who cited that and I quote, ‘You don't raise heroes, you raise sons.  And if you treat ‘You don't raise heroes, you raise sons.  And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes.just in your own eyes.

• This applies to every families. For most families the older This applies to every families. For most families the older son is regarded as a hero who in years to come will save son is regarded as a hero who in years to come will save their old and sometimes disabled parents from poverty, their old and sometimes disabled parents from poverty, provide them with psychological, safety and belonging provide them with psychological, safety and belonging needs as described in Maslow's theory of needs. needs as described in Maslow's theory of needs.

• Parents at the age of 70+ are very vulnerable and Parents at the age of 70+ are very vulnerable and therefore will look up to their heroes for survival.therefore will look up to their heroes for survival.

How does it feels to be a family How does it feels to be a family herohero

• In my case being a family hero is a great thing and at the same time a In my case being a family hero is a great thing and at the same time a stressful act. stressful act.

• It is great because you have the power to do things on your own and It is great because you have the power to do things on your own and make relevant decisions that must be in the interest of those your are make relevant decisions that must be in the interest of those your are responsible for. In this sense, I have become a person who in the responsible for. In this sense, I have become a person who in the opinion of others is regarded as a model or ideal.opinion of others is regarded as a model or ideal.

• However, this is a stressful act because, you might face unfavourable However, this is a stressful act because, you might face unfavourable situations where you cannot do much about and if things does not go situations where you cannot do much about and if things does not go as expected, all the blame will be on the hero. Therefore, being a hero as expected, all the blame will be on the hero. Therefore, being a hero entails of being responsible of all aspects of people lives including all entails of being responsible of all aspects of people lives including all members of your family whether young or old. They will all in a sense, members of your family whether young or old. They will all in a sense, expect you to live a life that will serve their interest instead of yours. expect you to live a life that will serve their interest instead of yours.

• As the Spiderman theme goes, ‘With great power comes great As the Spiderman theme goes, ‘With great power comes great responsibility’. responsibility’. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DfztIIqbTI

The Looking-glass Theory-The Looking-glass Theory-Cooley(1992)Cooley(1992)

• The looking glass theory is the idea that we base The looking glass theory is the idea that we base views of ourselves on how we think others are views of ourselves on how we think others are perceiving and judging us. On this, an older son in a perceiving and judging us. On this, an older son in a family being considered as a family hero’s identity is family being considered as a family hero’s identity is being constructed on how he thinks others, thus, his being constructed on how he thinks others, thus, his family members are perceiving and judging him. This family members are perceiving and judging him. This idea is now being spread through people’s actions, idea is now being spread through people’s actions, music, movies, and other cultural practices.music, movies, and other cultural practices.

• Cooley said, ‘the thing that moves us into pride or Cooley said, ‘the thing that moves us into pride or shame is not the mere mechanical reflection of our shame is not the mere mechanical reflection of our self but an imputed sentiment, an imagined effect of self but an imputed sentiment, an imagined effect of this reflection upon another's mind’. this reflection upon another's mind’.

ConclusionConclusion

• In this presentation, I have explored the idea of how it is to be the family hero and the conclusion I have drawn from this is that being eldest and the hero in your family is a great responsibility and great risk.

• Thus, deliberately and courageously overcoming the obstacles for the benefit of others without regards to personal consequences.

ReferencesReferences

• Websites• http://www.woodlands-junior.kent.sch.uk/customs/questio

ns/royal/succession.htm• http://thinkexist.com/quotation/you_don-t_raise_heroes-y

ou_raise_sons-and_if_you/227628.html• www. Youtube.com• Textbooks• As Communication and Culture, Peter Bernett and Jerry

Slater• .