preview of microsoft word - the sat relationship final.doc

7/28/2019 Preview of Microsoft Word - The Sat Relationship Final.doc

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The SAT RelationshipBy: Eric Weintraub


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SAT Essay Prompt:Many societies believe that the pursuit of happiness is a fundamental human right. But it

is also true that attainment of happiness remains elusive. Perhaps Bertrand Russell had itright when he said, To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part

of happiness.

Assignment:What gives us more pleasure and satisfaction: the pursuit of our desires or the attainment

of them? Plan your response, and then write an essay...

Dear SAT grader,

While it may look like Im not going to answer the prompt, youll have to trust

me when I tell you I do plan to get there eventually. You see my heart was ripped into a

million pieces yesterday when things hit rock bottom with my AP English teacher and its

just a little daunting to wrap my head around this test right now. The whole fiasco started

back at the homecoming dance last September. I went to the dance with this girl from my

math class named Lily Bolan. Things were going well up until halfway through the night

when she went and ditched me for the wrestling team captain. Knowing that any

confrontation with this guy would surely end with my ass getting handed to me, I

regrettably decided to walk out of the dance and get some fresh air. I snuck out through

the back door and thats where I saw her: Ms. Vienna, my English teacher. She was

leaning against the gym building smoking a cigarette. I remember our conversation

perfectly:

I didnt know you smoked, I said.

I dont. She exhaled as she flicked her cigarette to the ground and stepped on it.

She looked absolutely stunning in the moonlight. She wore this dark red dress that

clasped to her warm, tan skin as if itd been tailor made just for her. I always thought she


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was cute during school but theres something about those fluorescent lights in the

classrooms that have a way of ugging people up for lack of a better SAT word.

Why arent ya in there dancin, Billy? she said.

Not really my scene, I guess.

Me neither. Chaperoning I mean. I love dancing. Besides the last thing I wanna

do is walk through the room telling all your little friends to stop dry humping each other.

Hearing the phrase dry hump come out of a teachers mouth was a bit off putting to me

but not wanting to seem like a prude I continued with the conversation.

Whyd you volunteer then? I asked.

Because I have no life.

Im sorry to hear that.

Im kidding. Tell ya the truth, my boyfriend and I thought thisd be a nice place

for a cheap date. But he decided taking a client to the Dodger game would be more fun.

I didnt know Ms. Vienna had a boyfriend and hearing her talk about him now

started to kill the mood of being out alone at night with her. I was about to say goodbye

when the song Jupiter Crash by The Cure came on over the speakers inside the gym. It

was a slow dance song I requested for Lily and me only minutes earlier. We had gotten

into a conversation about musicians during class the day before and I wanted to prove to

her why Robert Smith was the greatest vocalist alive. I realized then I would never get

that chance. The song slithered up the back of my spine and made me shudder. I felt sick

for a moment.

Fuck, I said.


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Everything okay? said Ms. Vienna. I hadnt even realized I had cursed out loud

and felt like a moron.

Yeah, Im fine.

Ya look like you wanna jump off a building.

Its nothing. I requested this song. I was kinda hoping I was gonna get a chance

to dance to it tonight but doesnt really look like thats gonna happen now.

Oh please. No one your age is a Cure fan. Only reason the girls pretend they are

is because one of their songs plays over the end credits ofHes Just Not That Into You.

The Cures my favorite band actually. I think Robert Smith is the greatest

singer of all time, she said.

Youre kidding. You like Robert Smith?

He was my whole soundtrack through college.

She walked up to me and wrapped her arm around my waist. When I realized she

was offering to slow dance with me I suddenly felt like I couldnt breathe. Its not that I

was nervous, I just couldnt remember a single moment in my life when a girl actually

offered to do anything for me before I asked.

She pulled me in real close and put her head on my shoulder. My hand quivered

as I laid it on her back. Even through her dress I could tell she had the smoothest skin in

the entire world. I couldnt remember a more sensual moment in my entire life. I could

almost feel myself melting into her she was so soft. I could feel her hot breath on my

neck every time she breathed. The breathing became my heartbeat, my pulse, my entire

lifeline. Hearing her breath all I could think about was her mouth and the overwhelming

sensation I had, wanting to kiss her. If her body was this incredible I couldnt even


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imagine how those lips must feel pressing up against mine. I felt her head move up

towards me and she put her mouth up to my ear.

Dont ever tell anyone about this, she said. As she talked I could feel her lips

touching me, as if she were giving me little pecks on the side of my face with every word.

Her mouth was warm, silky and had a feeling so ethereal it was beyond my imagination.

Never crossed my mind, I said.

Now I wish I could tell you that we went back to her house that night and made

love, but since Im sitting here in my SAT room writing an essay on how my whole life

just went to hell yesterday you can probably imagine thats not how it went down. The

truth is that song was the theme music to the greatest four minutes and sixteen seconds of

my life and when it ended, she let go of me, said she was going home and would see me

on Monday.

From then on, everyday I was in English AP all I could do was stare at my

gorgeous teacher. I was too busy daydreaming about our future to bother learning about

The Odyssey orThe Great Gatsby. Who cared about logical fallacies when I was

planning where we were gonna get married and what our kids names were gonna be?

More often than not, Id screw up on essays on purpose just so I could get her to tutor me

privately after school. We would sit at her desk together when shed help me. She would

always put her hand on my leg or brush her fingers through my hair when I was doing a

good job. It made getting ready for the AP test encouraging, even if it was incredibly

difficult to concentrate on the material.

When the day ended, I would always walk her to her car. We never held hands but

our sides brushed up against each other with every step. Before shed leave, shed pull


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me in real close and give me an amazing, long lasting hug. It wasnt the kind of hug your

sister gives you where your shoulders touch but your waists are a mile away. From head

to toe, every part our bodies would brush up against each other. I wanted to kiss her in

that parking lot so much but I figured Id get kicked out of school if I made a move and

she rejected me. So I just kept waiting for that moment when maybe wed be standing in

front of her car and shed think to invite me back to her house. Everything would fall into

place from there. Months passed by and that moment never came. It never really bothered

me though. I figured maybe she was waiting till I was eighteen and graduated; that way

we wouldnt have to keep it a secret.

Everything was going so well until yesterday. That day was truly a nightmare

and this is coming from a guy stuck taking his SAT. Ms. Vienna had paired us off into

groups of two during class so we could practice talking about the weather. The day was

pretty ordinary until this guy dashed into the room completely out of breath. He was too

old to be a student and the ratty clothes he wore let me know he couldnt be a teacher

either.

Nicole we need to talk, he said to Ms. Vienna.

Whatre you doin here, Zac? she asked.

The whole class took notice of Zacs intrusion. Even though I didnt know who he

was, every ounce of my being told me he must be the boyfriend Ms. V had mentioned

back on homecoming night. She hadnt talked about him since and I assumed hoped

theyd broken up.

Im sorry, Zac said. Ive just been behavin like an asshole lately and I dont

want that. We gotta figure out how to make this work.


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In front of the class? she said.

Thats when Zac got down on one knee, reached into his pocket and whipped out

an engagement ring.

Will you marry me? he said. Ms. Vienna was speechless. Everyone in the room

was stunned, but Zacs action startled me the most. My heart beated so fast it felt as if it

was raising itself from my chest to my throat. I needed to do something quick and before

I had any sort of plan, I stood up out of my seat.

Im in love with you! I said to Ms. Vienna. All the students eyes darted over to

me as if their ears had heard a gunshot. Normally in this situation, high schoolers would

be inclined to make an oooooooh noise to make fun of me, but everyone was just as

stunned by my outburst as myself.

Whatd you say? said Zac.

You cant marry him, I said to Ms. Vienna. I love you.

Ms. Vienna was lost for words. All she could do was look from me to Zac then

back to me again. A deer in the headlights.

Who the hell are you? Zac said to me. I wished I couldve thought of a nice,

snappy one liner to throw back at Zac, but nothing came to mind.

Im Billy, I said.

Is this some kind of joke?

Billy, what are you doing? said Ms. Vienna. Her face looked more perplexed by

my declaration of love than I hoped it would. My feet werent my own. I walked up to

her at the front of the class. My heart was beating so fast it was about to explode. I

thought about Lily Bolan for a moment and remembered how easily I had handed her


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over to that jock douchebag at homecoming. I couldnt ever let that happen again. If I

could only make this work, Id be happy forever.

Listen these past coupla monthsve been the best of my life, I said. Ive never

felt this way about anyone before.

What the fuck? said Zac. I turned around and gave Zac a glare I didnt know I

was capable of making. He had no choice but to take a step back.

I looked back into Ms. Viennas eyes and continued, When I look at you I dont

see just any girl, I see the woman Ive been waiting my whole life for. I see the reason

Im alive. Its to be with you. I mean school, homework, college? Thats all just stuff I

wanna do so I can build us a nice home together. Im so madly, head over heels, crazy in

love with you that I cant even remember what lifes like without you.

Billy, stop she said. I couldnt stop. I had opened Pandoras Box and there

was no turning back.

Theres so much more I gotta tell you, I said. I could write a book about how

insane I am about you. An encyclopedia. And I wish I coulda told you all of this under

different circumstances but I was just so afraid you wouldnt feel the same way. And the

only thing Im more afraid of now? Its that Im gonna lose you. Its that this guy here

thinks he can come in here and take you away from me. But Im not gonna let this guy

come into my high school and marry the woman I love. Im not gonna let him, Ms. V. I

cant.

The way Ms. Vienna looked into my eyes just then, I knew everything was going

to be okay. The two of us had a connection no one else could ever understand. I knew at


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that moment what it was like to be looking into the soul of my other half. She licked her

lips, getting ready to say what would come next. The whole room was on edge.

Billy she said. Im sorry. Just like that, every ounce of hope I possessed

left my body. That connection I had seen between us only seconds ago shattered into a

million pieces. I felt like Id been thrown off a building and there was no bottom in site. I

would fall and fall forever.

You cant... I said.

I think you better leave.

As her eyes looked away from me, a part of me knew I would never have her

attention again. I didnt know what to do now. I guess there was nothing left to do. I

couldnt bring myself to look anyone in the room in the eye. I left the classroom and

walked down the hallway. I walked out of the school. I walked seven miles home.

As I walked I thought about what I was supposed to do with my life. I tried to

think positive thoughts but everything just made me feel more hopeless. Every couple I

passed by on the streets sickened me. Every billboard advertisement for a new romantic

comedy made me wanna run in front of a bus. I never felt so alone. I knew I couldnt rely

on my friends to help me through this. Once they got word about the scene Id made

theyd have a field day. The only thing that gave me any comfort at all was thinking

about the 50% divorce rate in this country. But I knew that even if Ms. Vienna and Zac

did eventually separate, itd probably be years from now. I was disgusted with myself

thinking maybe if I got lucky Id be with her sometime before she turned forty.

So now that Im sitting in a desk taking the SATs youre probably wondering why

it is I decided to show up today at all? Well heres the truth: I have one more miserable


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year of high school left before I can start college. An entire year of watching Ms. Vienna

flash her wedding ring around and talk about married life is going to be torture for me. If

I dont take my SATs, Im gonna end up going to a community college thats literally

across the street from my old high school. So until I can transfer out, Ill be forced to see

her everyday and see how wonderful her life is without me. The only way I might

possibly be able to block her out of my mind someday is if I know I have an escape route

planned. I need to get a good score on this essay so I can get into a good east coast

college and leave this city forever.

So I guess in a way Bertrand Russell, whoever he was, is right: To be without

some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness is true because it is

absolutely essential for me to never see Ms. Vienna again. As long as shes in my life

now, I can never be happy. And dont give me thatyoull get over herline. Ive gotten

over a lot of girls. You wanna know how? I kept telling myself, Well, its not like you

were gonna marry her anyways. But I was going to marry Ms. Vienna. If there was ever

anyone in my life that I felt absolutely certain about it was her. Please help me SAT

grader; I need this so badly.

Your Desperate Test Taker,

Billy

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