prang.by

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For Sarah

Wherever you are.

Did you see me coming?

Hi there, you probably don’t remember mebut I was the guy who bounced off your windscreen late one Thursday afternoon In a flurry of snapping limbs And landed like a broken starfishIn front of your car

All I wanted was an ambulance(Not an inconsiderate request under the circumstances)

And the closest comfort you could provideWas to scream blue murder.

OH MY GOD!!!OH MY GOD!!!

I heard you cry - far more worried about the shit you now found yourself in.

Thanks for your concern, by the wayover the months (time stopped for me the moment I left my motorbike.)

Not a word.Not a cardA flowerA note Or a whisper.

Not a Sorry

Nor an accusation neither.

Do you still think of me?

In your cosy bed at night Do you still see me at the last moment launching at you like a human cannon.

DID YOU REALLY THINK YOU COULD MAKE THAT TURN?

Did you even look?

If you never sleep a sound night’s sleepIf you never pass that intersectionwithout panic spasmsIf you feel guilty/panicked/scared that the motorbike behind youis going to follow you to the next set of lightsand drag you out of your carkicking and screaming

Snapping your bones like a Christmas crackerThen I might sleep easierand even relax.

Thanks to you: 1. I can no longer travel by car without fear. 2. I cannot piss straight 3. I can’t walk/run/bend down/ carry my kids. 4. I can’t draw because of the pills I have to take for the pain. 5. I can’t ride my motorbike in the sunshine You’ve taken my wings and broken my world.

6. I can’t work for a living - having to rely on welfare and a measly pittance from a self righteous insurance company. 7. You’ve taken my very existance and pulled the rug from under me.

Do you blame yourselfor was it my fault?I don’t remember the EXACT detailsWhat I don know is that you didn’t stopAnd I didn’t pass out.Let me describe the feelingWhen I saw your car begin its turn I had nowhere to goMy gut went to my throatBut all that changed at the

CRUNCH.

All I could hear was the wind and the snap of bonesA whack to my nose sent aspreading feeling through my bodyAll I coudld see was the light through my visor.Shaps and form lost senseI was bouncing and breaking.

One BANG snap Two BANG snap

Like a flying ninja starfish I bounced.The world spun like a propellerbefore my eyesAs if my head was stillAnd I was looking at the world through the inside of a post box.

It was only when I realised I’d landedThat I dare draw a breath

A Scan of my body told me quickly that all was not well.

I knew my arm was broken(happened twice before)

I couldn’t move my leg And my hips seemed to feel to be a strange shape.I didn’t dare look.

I didn’t dare look for days.

It wakes me every morning and holds me ‘til I sleep.The only ease in dreaming when I’m allowed to forget.This wasn’t what I planned, Tho’ some saw it coming.How can I learn to read the signsB4 the world knocks me off my feetAgain

May you be cursedWith a long, sleepless lifeWhere every waking momentIs filled with sorry and regret For what you have done to me.May any peace and quiet that you findBe filled with my faceless screamingSo that you know no peaceAnd you taste the bitter pain you’ve fed meuntil your spirit slinks from this worldSulking in shadowUnoticedForgotten

I damn you and condemn you to live.

A Modern Curse 4 da Disconnected ( on a postacard to Sarah)