ppt.effectivelycommunicatingswrtc.nmsu.edu/files/2013/10/effectivelycommunicating.pdf · meg and...

12/13/2013

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Effectively Communicating

withYoung Children

Susan SamuelProgram Director

Southwest Region National Child Protection Training Center at NMSU

Effectively Communicating

withYoung Children

Susan SamuelProgram Director

Southwest Region National Child Protection Training Center at NMSU

Children’s Law Institute2014

Someone said:What I HEAR I forgetWhat I SEE I rememberWhat I DO I understand

PLEASE PARTICIPATE!!

(c) Starks & Samuel 2014 2

Someone else said:

Learning is directly proportional to the amount of

fun that you have!


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WHY DO WE WANT TO COMMUNICATE WITH

CHILDREN?

TO GET INFORMATION!


Adult to a 6 year old:

“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said but I am not sure you

realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”


COMMUNICATION

• An exchange of understanding between sender & receiver

• Multiple barriers from all participants impede the exchange


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Example: Adult is the SENDER of the message

What could the adult’s barriers be? (these barriers impede the adult from

forming the intended “perfect” message)


Child is the RECEIVER of the message

What could the child’s barriers be? (these barriers impede receipt of the

message as intended)


Job of the adult…Reduce the barriers and

check, check, check again!Adult should check:• to see if the child understands what

they have said • to see if they (adult) truly

understand the child.


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EVERYDAY INTERVIEWSPEECH EXPECTATION

• Brief responses…….• Adult knows/tests..• Answer expected….• Cooperate……………….• Response rewarded

…Long Narrative…Sole Source…OK-”I don’t know”…Challenge & correct…Neutral – no reward(Partially adapted from Ceci, 1995 & Poole, 1998)


DEFINING WORDSWhat do these words mean?

• Our Words– Adult words - Professional Words

Reside Parties Opportunity SwearMatter Jury

– Prepositions - PronounsOn-In He, She Before-After They, It


(even harder)DEFININGNEW WORDS

Exercise


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Your New Word:


What PROCESSES did you use to define the new word?

Case Example: Mindy



Chapter 7:

COMMUNICATING WITH CHILDREN

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Chapter 7:



Chapter 7:



Chapter 7:


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MISCOMMUNICATION

From a 4-year old:Q: When you were at your grandma's house with your daddy, whose mamma is your grandma?A: Grandma Ann.

What’s Happening?

(c) Starks & Samuel 2014

MISCOMMUNICATION

From a 4-year old:Q: When were you at your grandma Ann’s house with your daddy?A: She has a boyfriend. Two boyfriends.

What’s Happening?


MISCOMMUNICATION

• When an adult repeats a question……

Example


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Miscommunication2 years 6 months oldMom: Say Happy Birthday, NannieEsme: Happy Birthday, NannieMom (repeats in a louder voice because she wants child to say it louder) Say Happy Birthday, Nannie.Esme: I not Nannie, I Esme.Mom: I know, YOU say, Happy Birthday Nannie.Esme: No, My…I not Gam-ma!Mom: I know, you TELL Nannie, Happy Birthday.Esme(Turns and leaves the room)NO! (c) Starks & Samuel 2014 22


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNXJgrkz--8

I Not Nanny! 2 ½ years old

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MISCOMUNICATION(stacking questions)

7 year old

Q: Well, what is the stick? Can you draw it? Let’s take out my crayons. What color do you want?

A: Um, green.Q: Green? See if you can draw the stick for

me. That’s a stick? What color is it?A: Green.


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Q: Let me ask you something. Do you know what a penis is? On a little boy. They call it their pee-pee, their thing right here, but the technical name for it is a penis. Understand? OK, is the “stick” a penis?

A: I want my mommy!Q: We’re almost finished. Now, is the stick a

penis?


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PRONOUNS – difficult for younger children

To avoid confusion, repeat names (or descriptions) Ask, "What were John and Mary doing in the living room?" rather than, "What were they doing in there?"


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RELATIONSHIPS

EXERCISE:

What’s are the Relationships? Meg, Carla, Peggy?


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Child: I see my mama sometimes (unsolicited)Inter: You see your mama sometimes? What’s

mama’s name?Child: Mama? Meg. Her real name’s not Meg.Inter: What’s her real name?Child: I forgot.Inter: What’s her last name.Child: Loveless.

Conversation continues, mostly about pets


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Inter: Elizabeth, do you know why you’re here today?

Child: Uh-Uh, no.Inter: You talked to your mom, mom Carla.Child: Mommy.Inter: Mommy? How am I going to know the

difference between mommy Carla and mommy Meg?

Child: That’s not mommy.Inter: Megs not mommy. So if I ask …..Child: She’s my mamaw.


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Detec: Susie, who is that?Inter: That’s Meg, I think.Child: Peggy.Detec: Who is Peggy?Child: Peggy’s my mom.Inter: Is that the same person as Meg?Child: No, she’s my mamaw.Inter: Your mamaw, is she somebody’s mama?Child: Yeah, mommy’s.


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Inter: That’s mommy’s mommy? Carla’s mommy?

Child: Yeah.Inter: Ok, so we got mommy Carla, mamaw

Meg and who is Peggy?Child: My mommy.

1.What are Carla’s, Meg’s & Peggy’s relationship to Elizabeth?

2. Whose mother is Meg?


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DOUBLE NEGATIVESAnswer the following questions:

(Myers, 2000)

1. Do you agree that Oregon is north of California?

2. Do you agree that Oregon is not north of California?

3. Do you deny that it isn’t incorrect to say that Oregon is not south of California?


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LOCATION/POSITION

Check child's understanding of: -on-in (use a cup & pen)-over-under -inside-outside Ask: Did his hand/private/mouth

touch your skin?


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TIMENOBODY estimates time accurately!

Children are better at measuring time relative to events that are meaningful to them, rather than by the abstract concept of hours, minutes.

Ask about events relative to a particular TV program, a holiday, a family tradition, the usual routine.


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From a 13-year-old:Q: When did that happen?A: In the fall, near winter.Q: What makes you think it was "in the

fall, near winter"?A: Because when he did it to me I kept

looking out the window. There was this big tree that I could see from my bed... and I saw the leaves on the tree. Almost all the leaves were gone, but some were still there.


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From a 14-year-old:Q: When did that happen?A: When I was little.Q: How little?A: Little, little...9 years old.

From a 7-year-old:Q: When did that happen?A: A long time ago, when I

was 6.


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DESCRIPTIONS

The question, "What did he look like?" assumes the child understands that investigator wants to know about height, weight, hair color, age etc.

Where should the child start?

Example: Fight on Main Street


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AGE

Age is a difficult concept for young children. They can't accurately estimate a person's age, but they may know if someone is a "grown-up or a kid"; old enough to drive a car; to be a mommy; to be a grandpa.


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FREQUENCY – HOW MANY TIMES

Tie the sexual contact to a repetitive event. Then compute (approximate) the number of times.

Charges v. number of times.


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FRAMING

Framing assists children (and adults) in successfully making the transition from one topic to another. Examples:

“Now I want to talk about what happened in the bathroom.”“We’ve talked about your Uncle Johnny. Now I want to talk about..”


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ABSTRACT CONCEPTS

Young children have difficulty understanding abstract concepts such as “truth and lie”. The more concrete the presentation, the more likely the child will understand and respond appropriately.


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TRUTH & LIE

Young children:

Cannot differentiate – “What’s the difference….”

Cannot define – “What is the truth?”

CAN demonstrate or identify – “If is said there was a duck on my head….”


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TRUTH & LIEASK:“Is it better to tell the truth or a lie?”“What happens in your house if you tell a

lie?”


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TRUTH & LIE

“Will you promise to tell the truth today?”


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TRUTH & LIE

From a 7 year oldQ: (judge) “What happens if you tell a

lie?”A: (child) “You’ll go to Hell.”Q: “Is that all?”A: “Isn’t that enough?”


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LITERAL INTERPRETATIONS

Young children are literal and concrete!


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Chapter 7:



48(c) Starks & Samuel 2014

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49(c) Starks & Samuel 2014

THINK LIKE A KID(literal & concrete)

• “There was a giant bird..”

• “He sat on my head.”


ONE OF YOUR BEST COMMUNICATION TOOLS

• SILENCE !!!!!


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3 years old

15 Months


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UYBqfoNhDo

Effectively communicating with young children is more than

worth the effort!GOOD LUCK!

Susie Samuel, 2014


ppt.effectivelycommunicatingswrtc.nmsu.edu/files/2013/10/effectivelycommunicating.pdf · meg and...

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