Power Up: Life & WorkCommitment Resilience Motivation Communication

Power Up: Life & WorkCommit to SuccessOvercome AdversityIncrease your EQHarness CriticismBuild Investment Relationships

Our Work: Together I’m Meg Duggan, your facilitator for the

next 12 weeks. I am an entrepreneur, author, educator and non-profit executive. I’m here to ensure that you get the very best from this course, and am available to you throughout the run of the class. Please feel free to email me.

askmeg@likefinewine.net.

OverviewThis course is all about putting theory into practice.

Much of the information we’ll be presenting will be familiar to you. Our work here will be about applying these ideas to you daily life, starting today.

Power up and reclaim the best of your life.

Our ScheduleOdd Weeks

We’ll spend 10 to 15 minutes running through the week’s lesson and the rest of our time in guided discussion.

Even Weeks We’ll discuss your

results from the previous week, and open the discussion to points of interest from each of you.

Group Privacy PolicyLike Fine Wine provides a confidential, safe and non-judgmental environment for women to come learn, grow and share. We will not disclose any of your personal or particular information without asking permission and then securing your release in writing.In return, we ask that every member of the class offer each other the same courtesy. Actively participate in class discussions and respect others while they are sharing their insights. Feel free to talk about what you are learning in class. Be excited to make a difference in your community. Do not, however, discuss any names or personal information gathered in the classroom. Take advantage of everything the LFW community has to offer while respecting everyone in it.We appreciate your enthusiasm and look forward to growing with you

Week OneCommit to Success

Revitalize Your CommitmentTake Ownership and Move ForwardRe-Commit with Passion and Clarity

Commitment Set the goal, see the steps, follow through. Commitment begins with WRITTEN goals. Measure your progress to maintain your

commitment. Surround yourself with other committed

people. Acknowledge your own power. Imagine it! Imagination is intelligence

having fun…

Learn It and Live It The Attributes of Committed People

They write and verbalize their commitments. This doesn’t mean sitting around talking about what they want to do! They put their goals into words and then get busy.

They’re realistic. They don’t over-promise and under-deliver.

They invest in achieving their goals. They don’t beat themselves up for falling short. They

use experiences to learn and continue their process. They plan their lives around what it takes to achieve a

goal. They are focused, and they make success a top priority.

3 Things You Can Do Stay the course. If your goal is worth

committing to, it is worth the price that comes with passionate commitment.

Surround yourself with people who are equally committed and passionate.

Clarify your commitments. Put your goals into words and write them down.

Make an investment in yourself and your goals.

Discussion Questions Does it feel possible to take ownership and

responsibility at work? Why or why not? What is taking precedence over your time and

energy that is keeping you from meeting your career goals?

Have you set your goals or has someone else set them for you? Can you clearly state a work goal that also encompasses your life goals?

Are there investments you should be making in yourself or other people? Your education?

This week…. Clarify your

commitment. Put your goals into words and write them down. For next week, prepare your personal elevator statement. In 2 minutes or less, describe what your goals and dreams are for YOURSELF for the next 2 years.

Week Two - Discussion Share your

elevator speech. Did you encounter

any difficulties while writing your elevator speech?

Did you identify any new goals?

Week Three: Overcoming Adversity Learning to overcome adversity is a

critical turning point on your road to success.

Those who are effective in the face of adversity make a conscious choice to spend their energy attacking a problem and moving forward.

Your choice is your power. Are you mired or motivated?

Five Steps to Success During Adverse Times Recognize - Acknowledge what is and

what is not lost. Even in the worst of times, we need to understand that all is not lost and that we have the power to make choices and move forward.

See – Find your vision. Adversity limits our sight and blinds us to all but the challenges of the moment. Move past “why” and see “where” in your future.

Five Steps (cont) Reach – Allow help in. Don’t struggle

alone when someone just a phone call away might be able to move you forward.

Move – Adversity causes many of us to panic, freeze and stop because all we can see are roadblocks and barriers. People respond best to crisis when they maximize their forward motion. Find something to do. Make a plan, any plan.

Five Steps (cont) Celebrate - Find something to

celebrate, however small it may seem. Celebration feeds our positive energy and our sense of hope. It nourishes our spirits, refreshes our attitudes, and gives us strength to fight off attacks of negativism and fear that accompany adversity.

Discussion Questions

When adversity strikes, do you get mired or motivated? When have you been mired or motivated? What got you motivated to move ahead?

Who in your circle has admirably overcome adversity? What skills did they employ?

When has adversity in your life turned out to be a “blessing in disguise?” When did you realize and celebrate adversity into adventure?

This Week…

Think about an adverse event in your life. How did you overcome the event? Which of the five steps did you use? Do you have additional insights to share? What, if anything, would you differently today that might have mitigated your pain?

Week 4 - Discussion Share your

thoughts on an adverse event in your life.

What tools for overcoming adversity were brought into focus for you?

Will you handle forthcoming adverse events differently?

Week Five – Emotional Intelligence Part One What accounts for the large part of

success at work and at home that is not due to IQ, skills or specialized knowledge? Many believe it is Emotional Intelligence (EQ), the ability to understand and use emotions in a positive manner.

Emotional Intelligence – 4 AspectsRecognizing EmotionsUnderstanding EmotionsRegulating EmotionsUsing Emotions

Attending To Yourself Recognizing your own emotions gives you

important cues about your own judgments and behaviors.

Recognizing emotions in others gives you critical information about them; emotions are information and are useful in the pursuit of your goals.

Emotional cues include facial expressions, voice tone, volume and modulation and body language.

Understanding Your Emotions Ask yourself why? What is the cause of

these emotions? What are the consequences of acting from this emotion?

Anticipate how your emotions and emotional behavior will affect others.

Learn to take another’s perspective. What is the other person feeling? Why?

Perspective!

Discussion Question – Recognizing Emotions To a considerable degree, how you

interpret and react to your own emotions and those of others is learned. Think about how your parents, siblings, friends, coworkers and bosses have been influential. How might you seek out and acquire new constructive responses?

Discussion Questions – Recognizing Emotion

I feel, I act? I am happy when: I am sad when: I am fearful when: I am frustrated when: I am angry when: I am excited when: I hate it when: I am lonely when:

I feel, I act. Which emotions are

easiest for me to express?

How do my reactions and behavior reflect my feelings?

How might outcomes and relationships be different if I react differently?

Discussion Questions – Emotions in Others

Attending to Others

Which emotions in others am I able to accurately identify? On which do I need work?

Am I more likely to attend to facial expressions, voice or body language?

Attending To Myself What distinguishes those

situations in which I am accurately able to identify emotions in others, from those in which I cannot?

Do I assume that other’s words are accurate reflections of their feelings and look no further?

How do I react to others in emotional situations?

The Take Away Monitor your own emotional states frequently.

Recognize your emotions and learn thoughtful and deliberate responses. Attend to how you feel and how you are reacting.

Pay attention to what you are feeling and why you are feeling it. Notice the connection between what you are feeling and what you say or do.

Take note of how your feelings are affecting your relationships with others.

For Next Week: Keep an emotional diary for the next

week. Record how you felt at various points throughout your day, what triggered those feelings and how you responded.

Also note your responses to other people’s emotions. What are your personal emotional dynamics?

Week 6 – Discussion Share from your

emotional diary. Did you discover

any situations that are highly charged for you?

Does attending to and monitoring your emotions change how you express them?

Week 7 – Emotional Intelligence Part 2 Regulating and Using Emotions

Peak Performance

Low Arousal High Arousal

Benefits Maximize your performance Persist through frustration and

temptation Inhibit destructive responses to

provocation Make it easier to “Do the Right Thing”

Paths to Emotional Regulation Self suppression – Delay responses, take

a “time out” Cognitive Reappraisal – change the

personal meaning you attach to the situation

Shift attention – learn to focus your attention away from the situation that is causing you high arousal

On Anger… Anger is one of the most destructive

emotions at home and at work. You can control some of your anger and

all of the ways you express anger. Controlling anger requires both external

and internal processes. FIRST – you need time. Step away from

the situation.

Anger…Internal Controls

Remind yourself that “angry” is not the image you want to present

Repeat to yourself “I am in control and the anger I feel will pass.”

Reframe: "You make me angry” to “I will deal with my anger constructively”

Ask yourself what other situations in your life might be contributing to your current emotions?

External Controls

Explain that you are angry and why, and that you want to discuss and resolve the issue.

Begin sentences with “I” rather than “you”

Never direct your anger at another persons personality or intellect

Balance expressed anger with care, concern and appreciation.

Don’t yet. Increased volume escalates emotions and conflict.

Regulating Emotions in Others

Being emotionally intelligent means comforting, encouraging, motivating and calming others as you build relationships, reduce tension and resolve conflict. Listening will often be the first, best and sometimes the only thing you can do.

Active Listening Active listening means being attentive

and working to understand the message and emotions being expressed. It means attending to verbal as well as nonverbal cues. Active Listening: Makes the speaker feel free to talk openly

and honestly Makes the speaker feel he or she is being

understood.

Principles of Active Listening Ask open-ended questions rather than questions

that can be answered with a “yes or no” Don’t be afraid on silence. After asking a

question, wait long enough for the other person to think about and formulate their answer.

Ask for examples to clarify Restate or summarize what you think has been

said. Let the other person know when you understand

and when you don’t.

Discussion Questions What changes have the

greatest priority for you(e.g. recognizing or expressing emotions, controlling anger, attending to the emotional states of others)?

What changes, if not made, will be detrimental to your personal and professional relationships?

For Next Week… Continue on with your emotional diary, but

assess yourself. What do I do well? What areas need improvement? Was I attentive to verbal and nonverbal cues? Am I accurate in my perspective taking? Am I honest and informative when I express

my feelings? Do I control my emotions, or do they control

me?

Week 8 - Discussion From your diary,

share what you do well.

In what areas could you stand to improve?

How well do you control your emotions?

What techniques did you apply last week? What situations arose? Verbal/Non Verbal

cuing? Active Listening? Self-regulation?

Week 9 – Give and Receive Criticism

CHOOSE TO EMBRACE CRITICISM! Criticism laser focuses fragmented

attention on some of the more important aspects of our jobs and lives.

Criticism is a teaching tool – but more importantly it is a learning tool.

Receiving Criticism Acknowledge criticism as feedback. Ask – who is offering this criticism? Are they

qualified? Is their intent to help or hurt? Stay positive. Don’t put your self-esteem at

the mercy of others. If the criticism seems personal, attempt to

reframe it to specific behaviors. Pay attention to feedback and adjust your

behaviors accordingly.

Make Criticism Your Choice Be aware that criticism comes with

success. Embrace it and learn from it. Accept constructive criticism as a gift.

Let it enlighten you about the changes you need to make.

Acknowledge that criticism is a learning tool, as well as a teaching tool.

Discussion Questions

Why is it our natural instinct to become defensive about criticism? What can we do about this reaction?

Can you name a time when criticism was the catalyst of your success?

When can criticism be correct, but wrong?

Giving Feedback to Others Constructive criticism should address an

area that needs improving but does not speak to the person’s self.

Criticism should be a reasoned, unemotional response in an effort to teach.

Criticism works best when the timing is right.

Discussion Questions In your organization, is there a

standardized, formal structure for feedback and criticism? Does it work?

What improvements could be made to the system?

How are your constructive criticism tools? Do you find that you are able to affect change with inflicting pain?

For Next Week:

Write a criticism of this course and of your facilitator.

Week 10 - Discussion Lets talk about

this course! Is it helpful? What could we be doing better? What are we doing well?

Did you have an occasion to give or receive feedback last week? How did it go? Where you able to separate the personal from the professional?

Week 11- Building Investment Relationships

Investing in Relationships The ability to develop trust and get

along with others is a basic requirement for success.

Healthy, energizing relationships take time and energy from both people involved. Healthy relationships will grow and change over time.

Individuals in Healthy Relationships… Are interested in the feelings, concerns and

dreams of others. Are wiling to take responsibility for

improving the relationship and encourage other people to do the same.

Understand that other people bring not only good but also bring some negative baggage from other relationships.

Know that their actions affect other people’s happiness and success.

Trust Research shows that the basis for all

healthy relationships is trust. Trust in a relationship is characterized by:

A willingness to talk through problems Feeling safe to share openly The development of a comfortable way to

share positive and negative feelings

Choose Wisely One of the most important choices we

make is whom we hang around with. We will become like the five people we spend the most time with. Be careful who you choose to invest your time in!

Improving Relationships Your relationships reflect the relationship you have

with yourself. Treat yourself with caring acceptance and gentle compassion.

Show people you care about them with positive thoughts and deeds. Inspire respect and cause others to value their relationship with you.

Take time to make contact and nurture your relationships.

Be willing to compromise. The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but to respect the other person.

Practice forgiveness when the relationship is tested.

The Take Away Focus on building positive relationships with

your peers, subordinates, friends and bosses. Invest time in recognizing your professional relationships. For those who are making a difference in your life, take the time to write them a note and express your appreciation.

Become a mentor for others. Make wise choices about relationship

investments.

Discussion Questions What relationships are having the most

impact on your success? How much time are you spending

nurturing your relationships and mentoring others?

What can you do, today, to develop positive relationships in your life?

For Next Week… What was the most important take-away

from our class? Have you made any changes and seen

any improvements? What remains most difficult for you?

Week 12 – The Wrap Up Thanks to you all for being so engaged

and interested these past 12 weeks.Lets talk about where we are now, and where we hope to go! Anyone revise their elevator speech? Did you build any relationships in or out

of our group? What’s changed for you?