popular prick - condensed version

8/12/2019 Popular Prick - Condensed Version

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Introduction

Some people consider me a prick. Dont like that? Leave. I dontneed you anyway. I have enough people desperately seeking my

attention. Oh, but my massive popularity is no accident. I studiedsocial psychology and human behavior or years to alter mypersonality and become a master o social manipulation and humaninteraction.

!ow Im the guy everybody tries to impress and wants to be seenwith. I have legions o riends wherever I go. "eople give mepractically whatever I please and it#s all so easy or me. $al o the

time, I dont even have anything valuable to say, but people still%ust cant get enough o me. &nd while %ealous losers think Im aprick, everyone else thinks Im the greatest thing in the world 'and theyre right, I am.

(ou already know me)

* Im the slacker at work who gets promoted over your hard

working ass* Im the loudmouth who talks over your best comments withuseless crap to cheers o admiration

* Im that prick who#s out having a good time while you sit aroundthinking about how great your uture will be.

&nd then there#s you.

I see you watching me thinking to yourself: you just wait and

see who I become. Its the only way you can %ustiy your lonely,wasted e+istence. ut deep down you already know what you#llbecome) the same pathetic, irrelevant person you are right now.


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-hile youre living in antasy land, Im milking the real world oreverything it oers) popularity, admiration, endless riends, se+,and success. ut you dont want that anyway, right? Lie toyourself. Let me guess: what youre going through is just

temporary? nce you get that job! that degree! or findthat special someone e"erything will change? #wenty years

from now youll be looking at e"eryone and thinking the e$act

same thing. Its the same thing that poor! bearded! loser on the

back of the bus is thinking.Dont believe me? o talk to him andsee or yoursel.

If you dont change right now! youll become just like that guy

on the bus. %oull soon look into the mirror and reali&e youreold and your dreams ha"e passed you by. Instead of dreaming

about your future! youll dream of getting back the youth that

you're wasting away right now./he only way to prevent this is tochange who you are and how you naturally interact with otherpeople. I wrote "opular "rick to teach you e+actly how to do thisby)

01 using psychological conditioning to alter how you naturallythink, behave, and interact with people

21 combining these alterations with the controversial techni3ues omanipulative psychology4&buse o Science?4 ..So be it.

I have a degree in "sychology, but Im no academic. In act, its no

secret the academic community disapproves o what I do here./hey think using modern psychology to teach people how tomanipulate others or popularity is an abuse o science, but I dontneed anyones approval. 5nlike them, Im not motivated bypublishing deals, tenures, or academic approval6recognition. Idont have to censor my inormation or my language to meet


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someone elses notion o 7proper. 8aybe some think my straighttalk is unproessional, but Im the one with the solutions and thatswhat matters. I change peoples lives. /hey %ust talk about doing it.

I youre looking or a standard sel*help book, look elsewhere. 8ybook contains no canned lines, motivational stories, uselessclich9s, or the typical :be yoursel; advice. /here is no 2 hourtaped lecture on why conidence is important. I dont waste timewith any o this irrelevant, recycled, %unk. /hese so called:e+perts; ill their books with such useless crap or one reason) itsells. Such books may give you an hour or two o post*readnostalgia, but this 3uickly wears o and youre back to being your

miserable, lonely, sel. Its like walking out o a theatre ater anaction movie and eeling like a super hero or a ew moments. Itsa alse sense o reality that 3uickly ades away. Im here to changeyour reality, not temporarily distort your perception.

Let#s be


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o an eye. /hats why all the one*liners and other crap social:gurus; eed you is so useless. !obody pays that much attentionOpinions o likeability6importance are based on other, lessobvious, actors. @ortunately, this is a system that can easily be

manipulated to your advantage * and thats e+actly what my bookmercilessly teaches you to do.

*emember! if being yourself was the solution to the problem!

you wouldnt ha"e a problem to begin with. Indi"idualism isnt

worth it if its diminishing your +uality of life.Im not going towaste time trying to convince you to believe this >i you dontalready1. I you want to continue to %ustiy wasting your lie under

the guise o :individualism;, have at it.-ho am I to interere withmental Darwinism? I#ll let you ools die out with pride.

$ere#s -hat I Oer) Im giving you the e+act same strategies Iused to change my personality and master social manipulation andhuman interaction.So Don#t be an Idiot. Lie is all about choices.


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/his 3uestion is usually asked in the :they will think it isabnormal6unnatural and that I am stupid6desperate or doing it;ramework. y the end o this book, you will reali=e why this issimply

untrue.

@or now, %ust try to get used to the idea that most are not in thebusiness o analy=ing others. -ill others notice you haveseeminglybecome more outgoing? Some will, yes. ut o those who do, thevastma%ority wont think much about it because it doesnt matter to

them.Its also accepted that people take some time to come :out o theirShell;. !o matter how long youve known the people around you,beore long they will not think twice about how you now act orhowyou acted beore.

4s for the small percentage that may ha"e a problem with it! so

what? #heir resentment is likely rooted in their own loss ofempowerment from you.eing introverted6shy gives somepeople asense o empowerment over you because they think you arenervouso them >thus they must be important1. /hose who have a problemwith your newound ways are merely upset that they are losing thissource o personal pride. So now theyll call you a prick, big dealah?

I could have titled this book :how to be an opportunist; becauseit truly is about making your lie as happy as possible by gettingeverything you can out o society. $ave no illusions) this book isabout(O5. Its not about your amily, your wie, your girlriend, your


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children >oh yes, thats right1, its about (O5 and only you. /his is(O5< lie. Dont be araid to admit that you care about it.

#hose who feed their own pride on belie"ing people are stupid!society is stupid! conforming sucks! etc. li"e unhappy li"es and

die

alone. 4nd who cares at that point? 2obody. /he truly smartpeoplereali=e that society oers many beneits and that they must accepttherealities o conorming or suer the conse3uences.

$ey look) even I dont like to admit the things I say in thisbook, but I do or a very good reason. I wasnt born a naturalconormer6popular person. Im more like you than you know.One thing is or sure) I chose happiness over being right. Its likewhen Dr. "hil >who by the way I hate and he certainly didnt cointhis3uestion1 asks to men in relationships) would you rather be

right orhappy?. /he answer seems sel*intuitive >which is why he asks it,hewants something everyone can relate to1. $appiness is moreimportant.

0hat 4bout the 1eople who Like 5e the 0ay I 4m?

8any people make the mistake o thinking that since they haveound a limited number o people who accept6en%oy their

incompatiblepersonality that they are doing okay. /hey essentially think) :wellithese people appreciate me, surely others can as well and thus thereisnothing wrong with me;. 5nortunately, this is completely wrong.


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/here are also people out there who believe that :&chy reaky$eart; is an awesome song. iven the volume o people out there,there will always be people who agree6like what youre doing./hink o

all the death row inmates getting letters rom interested women.

%ou ha"e to be strong enough to reali&e that just because an

e$tremely small percentage of the population appreciates your

personality doesnt mean youre not losing out./he truth is, youaremissing out huge. "eople who are liked by the ma%ority o thepopulation share an unimaginable amount o beneits. I the

number opeople who like you is small, the rewards you get willcorrespondinglyalso be small.

%ou ha"e to go after more people. -ont be happy with a

limited

positi"e response to yourself. %ou are only selling yourself

short.y

doing this you are acting against your own best interest. Dont beoneo these people. &ccept that changing your personality will changeyour lie in unimaginable ways.

-e all have ideas about what makes a person happy6successul.Such ideas are usually derived rom observing people we know./his

includes both celebrities and people we know personally. 8ostauthorswould simply advise you to become what you want to become andemulate those you admire. /he problem with this is that it isencouraging you to :choose; what you should become. 6ince youha"e


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de"eloped a problematic personality to begin with! you

ob"iously are

not the best candidate to make these decisions.

Lets face it: if you need to read this book and there is nothingwrong with that/ you ha"e a per"erted "iew of what makes a

good

personality. #his stems from ha"ing ideals that are likely not

compatible with society.

8any people assume it is a good idea to orm their personalityaround celebrities they respect. 8usic lovers tend to provide good

e+amples o this. 0hile 7you7 may think it is cool to be apatheticandwithdrawn like 8urt 3obain! such attributes will work against

you. (ut

it worked for 8urt 3obain? 0ell! not really. (eing a rock star

worked

for 8urt 3obain.(oure not a rock star, so you have to accept thatyoumust ind a personality that matches your liestyle. Its all aboutcompatibility.

8any people who ail socially do so because they do not conormwith the rest o society. /his usually stems rom e+periences ore%ection. -hile I appreciate your situation, youre going to have toshed this attitude completely.

In short, you cannot be successul and well*liked i you choose

not to conorm to some degree. Its %ust that simple. I your view isthat conormity is bad, look at where you are today. &re youhappy?Do you like your lie? Do you have what you deserve?If youreunsatisfied and want to see things change! youre going to ha"e

to


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.suck it up. and lose the teenage attitude that not fitting in is

cool or

whate"er else.

Its not cool because you end up losing in the end. 6mart peoplereali&e this and take ad"antage of it. /hey understand that thebeneits o conormity ar outweigh what you get out o it notconorming.


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doing. eing :caught; ripping someone o will destroy anycredibilityyou once had and is, not to mention, completely embarrassing.Secondly, and more importantly, by doing this you hamper your

abilityto develop a new personality.

Imitation prevents you rom adapting your personality because itis not natural. (ou become an actor and thus conversations are nottruly conversations. I you ollow a certain script derived romwhatyou believe to be a good way to handle yoursel youre not

changinganything. (oure not even having a real conversation. /his is nothowsuccessul people do it.

I want to make it very clear that this book is not designed to bea :guide: to acting in various situations. I want to teach you tochangethe root o your personality. It is rom this root that you thoughts,comments, belies, etc. are derived. %ou cannot memori&e aninfinite

number of responses to different situations! but you can change

the

o"erall theme of how you naturally beha"e. #his is what

personality

change is all about.Its about spontaneous responses guided bythe

backbone o your overall personality.

(ackbones of 1ersonality

Bverybody.s personality has a certain backbone, which isbasically an overall theme to how they conduct themselves andthink


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about things. Bach persons backbone is uni3ue and it is impossiblenotto have one. Its also impossible to completely copy someoneelses.

I you have an unsuccessul personality, it is due to a lawedpersonality backbone. @or whatever reason your backbone hasdeveloped into something that is not compatible with the ma%orityosociety. (ou must reprogram your backbone into something that iscompatible.

Some theori=e that your personality is impossible to change./hese people are, o course, utterly wrong. /o some this is evidentinlooking at how people change throughout their lives. In manycases,personality problems develop in later lie, ater childhood. -hatthistells us is not only can personalities change, but it is also a naturalpart o aging. In order to be successul, you simply have to pointyourown development in the right direction.

Since everybody is dierent, some people have ar more workahead o them than others. /he amount o work you must do isproportional to how dysunctional your personality currently is.

#o *eiterate: %ou are 2ot an 4ctor

#here is a huge difference between changing your o"erallpersonality and simply acting differently. 8ost people reali=ethisintuitively, but do not give it the proper attention it deserves.-hen I make suggestions as to how you should act6behave, myprimary goal is to teach you how to train yoursel to alter your


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personality. /his is not the type o book you read to train yourseltoact dierently at a party or %ob interview. Its designed to give youa

ramework to live by that will eventually become so engrained thatyouend up undamentally altering how you *naturally* behave.

&nyone can deliver some one*liners in a crowd or makethemselves out to be someone theyre not. /he 3uestion is whetherornot their behavior is natural or merely scripted. If your beha"ior is

scripted! youre not only fooling those around you! youre alsofooling

yourself. #he reason for this is that the beha"ior is not

sustainable.

8oreover, you ind yoursel not actually en%oying conversation,but simply :connecting the dots; and making ends meet./he goalothis book is not to teach you how to :act; dierently, but how totrulybecome a dierent person.

One thing I want to see you do is change rom being an introvertto being an e+trovert. ecoming naturally e+troverted re3uires a loto timeand practice. (ouve likely spent years conditioning yoursel to bethee+act opposite, so you cannot correct this overnight. Dont worry

toomuch though. /he important act is that you can change this. /hinkabout it, i you could change overnight, nobody >includingyoursel1would suer rom a problematic personality to begin with. I thesolution was that easy, youd have ound it by now >and so would


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everybody else1.

One thing I tell people all the time is that while you cant changeimmediately! the ease at which you progress will gradually

increasewith time. Its going to get easier as you go. -ith practice, youimprove and learn things along the way. (ou will not only learnaboutthe rewards, but youll also discover new ways to improve yourownapproaches.

So what makes people develop introverted, anti social, unlikable>the list goes on1 personalities? -ell, e+periences and initialinterpretation o these e+periences plays a big part. & damaginge+perience sometimes sets o a chain reaction o thought patternsandhabits that can be very diicult to break. Like any habit, however,itssomething you have the ability to control.

I want to take some time to highlight some o the things youlikely perceive as standing in your way and why that perception iswrong.

inancially and socially1.In order to get anywhere withother

people! you must risk rejection. 4"oiding these risks to

subse+uently

a"oid rejection/ will lea"e you in the same position as someone

who is


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rejected 9; of the time./his is not groundbreaking news. (oualready !O- this. -hy do you still avoid re%ection? Its becausethere%ection itsel has prioriti=ed itsel over the beneits o acceptance.

Simply put, you must learn to accept re%ection is natural andmove on in spite o it. ,ach new person

people

who dont know you? #he latter is completely useless to you.Its awaste. Dont live this way anymore.

I you work at acing re%ection it will become easier. esides

most people, %ust like you, are craving or attention, acceptance,etc.I you try, you will ind success and learn to put ailures >orre%ections1to the wayside with time.


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Audging. It is natural or us to ear being %udged. -e dont likepeople orming opinions o us because we ear they will benegative.8uch o what I said above under re%ection is also relevant here >as

both are closely related1 in terms o cost6beneit and there beingalmost no eect o negative %udgments. Let me focus on anotherpoint

instead: %oure hardly being judged to begin with.

0e tend to ha"e a perception that other people are genuinely

interested in what we say and how we conduct oursel"es. #his

couldnt

be further from the truth. @; of what you do and say goes

largelyundetected or is soon forgotten/. /rust me on this. 8ost peopleworrytoo much about themselves to care about what other people say6do.Itis thus oolish to worry about people %udging you because theylikelyarent paying attention at all anyway. "eople do, however, tend tonotice6remember those who avoid them because they perceive it assomewhat o an insult.

(y not participating you are going to be judged the most. If

you

say nothing! youre going to be judged on your +uietness. /hismeanspeople will negatively remember you as being shy, nervous,awkward,

etc. because it gives them a sense o empowerment over you. (ybeing +uiet around them you are simply confirming their

importance.

If you take part in con"ersations you will earn respect and

friendship no matter how pointless your remarks are there

will be


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more on this topic later/.

4dmitting #o %ourself #hat %ou 2eed ther 1eople

&nother reason some people develop personality problems isthat they are araid to admit >to themselves and others1 that theyneed other people. /hey see it as showing a sign o personalweakness.

/he problem is that by a"oiding people! others will "iew you asweak and thus gain a sense of empowerment from you. Instead

of

seeing you as independent! they see you as afraid.

Dont believe me? $ow many loud, outgoing kids got beatup6made un o in school? Its always the +uiet! shy! reser"ed!people that end up taken ad"antage

of.I youre one o these people, youre going to have to change>orcontinue to ace the conse3uences1.

#hink about how you see people. -o you "iew outgoing or

e$tro"erted people as weak? r do you respect


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pessimistic, opinionated, etc. -hat this means is that whensomeonespeaks to them the way I do in this book, they are naturallydeensive,

critical, etc. :$ow dare this guy tell me what is good and bad?;

&ll I can say is that you got this book because you dont like howyouve become. (oure unhappy or unsatisied. (ou


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person is the irst step in correcting it. Bmbrace it and move on.

"eople are depressed because they dont like their lives orthemselves. 5any .therapists. will try to brainwash such peopleintoliking themsel"es. -oes this make sense? #his is merely

rewarding

their flawed beha"ior. I a Dog ails to meet his trainersinstruction,should he give the Dog a biscuit anyway?

/heres a reason people are not successul) they are doing

something wrong. y encouraging them to continue down thesame pathyoure merely guaranteeing uture ailure. ut hey, I bet it keepsthemcoming back or treatment, doesnt it?

%oure 2ot (orn 0ith a 1ersonality

& lot o people like to convince themselves that they are :born;with a personality. /his makes it easier to accept their own lawedcharacters because they see it as :not their ault;. It also makesthe

notion of change impossible and thus takes the pressure off the

person

to make difficult choices.

@or the record) "eople are born with a clean slate. -hile genetics

is likely relevant on some levels, your personality, or the mostpart, issomething that develops with age that hinges on your interpretationoyour own e+periences.


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/he idea behind recogni=ing that we are largely a product o oure+periences is that our personality is capable o changing.0hether we

reali&e it or not! our personality is changing e"eryday. 0e

dont noticethis because it happens so slowly. Its just like looking in the

mirror

e"eryday. /he process is so gradual you are unable to perceive thechanges. Despite this, Im sure i you were to think back to whoyouwere as a child you would agree that you had a very dierentpersonality.

It is possible to change your personality6the way you view theworld by changing what youre doing right now.

-hat ollows is what you have to do6not do to become one o/hose popular people.


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themsel"es. #hey critici&e what they"e doneC second guess

themsel"es! debate future actions


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(ou need to learn to let your deeper impulses make more

decisions. (ou ought to go through lie knowing that you simplywouldnt do anything stupid because subconsciously youremonitoringeverything you do. /he vast ma%ority o what the brain does isimpulsive. -hat you actually have to :think about; is very slim. ItS5""OSBD to work this way. ,$cessi"e self7communicationmerely

interferes with your own better judgment

Aow to 6top #alking to %ourself self communication/

6topping the self7talking is truly one of the most important

aspects of personality change. Its an attribute that nearly

e"eryone

with a successful personality has to some degree. It will help

you in

unimaginable ways! making you more outgoing! interesting!

likeable!and comfortable with yourself.

$ere.s how you do it)Monitoring . nowing that sel*communication must be stopped istheirst step in this process. (ou must teach yoursel to :reali=e; whenyou are doing it so you can stop. /his will be tricky at irst >andthereinevitably be times when you miss it1, but with time and practice it

willget easier. -hen you get out o bed prepared to adapt aundamentally dierent approach to your lie, you will rememberthatsel*communication must be stopped because it is such a crucialaspect o the whole process.


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Realization . /his is the sel*e+planatory result o monitoring. Itswhen you reali=e youre talking to yoursel. (ou must immediatelystop. 5sing the ocus shiting techni3ue may help you accomplish

this.FGFocus Shifting . /his is a techni3ue o psychological conditioningthat helps a person redirect their conscious thoughts to :taketheir mind; away rom other, problematic, thoughts >such assel*communication1. /o ocus shit, you use the reali=ationstage as a trigger or other thoughts. It usually helps to ha"esomething preplanned or to focus on something in the

en"ironment.

Preplanned Thoughts

$aving preplanned thoughts to prevent sel communication can beuseul because it eliminates lag time >during which you arevulnerableto accidentally revert back to sel*communication1. 8aybe youwant tothink about lying on a beach, maybe you like to count numbers,whatever it is, so long as it takes you away rom sel*conversation,itwill work.

Continuation . Aere you must mo"e back into acting without

self

3ommunication. %ou mo"e on. 3ontinue whate"er it is you are

doing

without talking to yourself about it.

8any people will see a lot o my suggestions as ways to turn aperson rom an introvert into an e+trovert. I would agree with this.Imnot %ust trying to change your personality, Im trying to change it

for


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the better. B+troverts tend to be happier, richer, healthier, havemoreriends, lead more interesting lives, etc. /hey are more successulin

virtually every avenue o lie.

Aow many e$tro"erted people are trying to con"ert themsel"es

into being shy and anti7social? 2one.

Intelligent 4cting 1eople are the Dnhappiest

,"er notice that those who pride themsel"es on being

intelligent

also tend to be +uite unhappy? If youre one of these people!its in

your best interest to change. Lets face it: the only person

youre

impressing is yourself and youre likely not e"en

accomplishing that/.

I you want people to respect6like you, dont try to go over theirheadand demonstrate your own intelligence. It looks bad, it sounds badandmost importantly, it relects badly upon yoursel.

5nless youre deending a college thesis, spare others the :smart/alk;.

3are 0hat ther 1eople #hink

"eople hate to admit that they care about what other peoplethink o them. ut anyone who lies and says otherwise is trulypathetic>and trust me, those who say they dont care, care the most1. and they are BH/


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#hink back to high school! who were the people who cared the

most about what others thought? #he preps? 2o. #he jocks?

2o. #he

gothicas that is the roototheir :group;1. #he message they want to project is: we dontcare

what you think. #he reality is that those who truly dont care

would

ne"er think to make a statement out of it.-o you protest thingsyoudont care about? 2o. 0hy? (ecause youre not thinking about

them to

begin with.

In terms o popularity6happiness6success think about how arthose who distance themselves go. !ot very ar. /hose who re%ectsociety are re%ected by society. I you are re%ected by society, youaregoing to miss out huge on the beneits that society oers.(ou have to think, what makes people happy? eing liked,accepted, respected, etc. /hose who dont achieve these actorsgenerally remain unhappy. -hat can you learn rom this? &ccepttheact that you do care and embrace it to the ullest. Im going toteach

you how taking advantage o this can work to your beneit.

@or those who pride themselves on being apathetic, reali=e thesetwo things right now)0. (ou are likely among the least apathetic people out there>apathetic people dont go :out o their way; to show they are


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apathetic12. Since pretending to be apathetic is so obviouslydesperate6pathetic6etc. people will naturally avoid6not careabout you. /he result o this is that you lose.

/he truly smart people care what people think, yet neveroutwardly mention it either way. /hey go about their lives with aconscious awareness that they must :play the societal game; orsuer.Lets ace it, not everything is going to be handed to you. (ou havetowork, in one way or another, to achieve what you want. y playing

upto societal norms, you are :working; to a certain e+tent. (ou eitherplay along or lose out) plain and simple.

(eha"ing in 6ocial 6ituations

2obody Likes 1eople who are 2egati"e

Its ine to critici=e and complain now and then, but i you makea habit out o it people wont like being around you.

(y pointingout

problems! you simply restrict the ability of other people to be

happy. If

you are pre"enting the happiness of others! they wont like you.

1eople become naturally critical


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/hose who re3uently use critical comments to contribute toconversations do so largely out o habit. Somewhere along the linethey have discovered how easy it was to point out negative things

other people can relate to. -hen you point out an obvious negativeyou dont have to worry about other people missing your point ./his is

why I say its easy.

Bor the critical


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within the

realm of acceptability of your audience.Its okay to saysurprisingthings, %ust make sure the people you are talking to will appreciate

it.

Sometimes readers will see guys like ill 8aher on / makingobviously unpopular statements and think) :well look howsuccessuland interesting he is, Ill have to be more controversial;. /his iscompletely wrong. -hen you have an audience o millions opeople,

and 2JK o them like what youre saying, youre going to beincrediblysuccessul. /he thing is, you dont have a random audience omillionso people. Its a completely dierent situation in real lie.

Wont I have to act lie a co!pletel" different person depending on

#ho I! around$

/o some e+tent) yes. utkeep in mind youre likely doing thisanyway. 4lmost e"erybody acts different depending on who

they are

talking to. Im sure you act like a completely dierent personaroundyour coworkers than your immediate amily, or e+ample.

/heres a amous episode o Seineld where social :worlds; arediscussed and how combining them is bad. /he reason or this is

thatthe way we act around some people we know is not compatiblewithhow we act around others.

&cting dierent is thus natural. /he only 3uestion is whether or


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not you are going to be smart and play to your audience as much aspossible, or i you want to maintain your personal stance and lettherewards6beneits o conormity all to the wayside.

Eetting Inside 1eoples Aeads

/he irst thing you must reali=e is that your personal perceptionof yourself and of right and wrong/ is usually "astly different

than

what others think.

Its a distorted reality in which we live. Its natural to believethat the ma%ority o people have similar views as us >known asethnocentrism1. /his is %ust simply untrue. (ou have to reali=e thisandwatch what you say accordingly. Let people tell you what theylike

before you tell them what you like./his gives you the upperhand inthe conversation. I you know what they want, youre able to givethem what they want.

Eain #rust by Letting 1eople -own on Irrele"ant 1oints

-e live in a naturally suspicious society. @or this reason, it isessential that you gain peoples trust. #here is no better way to dothis

than to make them belie"e you are speaking against your own

best

interest. In other words! learn how to gi"e people a smalldegree of

information that makes you look bad.

I it is obvious that what you are saying is not to your completeadvantage, people will naturally develop a level o trust or you.


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/heywill think :this person is willing to say things against his owninterest;.In reality, you are acting I! your own interest. #he key is to ne"ersayanything so against your own interest that it will hamper

getting what

you want from the other person

(ou simply must give enough inormation or them to believethat you are not trying to act :in your own interest;. /ell them MKo

what they want to hear. Ait the right buttons! but mi$ in a fewthingsthat are less compatible.Its also important that you only:disappoint;them on airly irrelevant actors. /his re3uires you to gage what istruly important and what isnt. Let them down on a ew lessimportantthings.

(eing 3alled on Inconsistencies

iven that you are going to inevitably wind up being a little lessthan socially sincere, its important to discuss ways to react tootherspotentially noticing this.

@irst o all, the chances o this ever happening are e+tremelyslim. I it does happen, most people would only bring it up in a

nonchalant way >meaning) they are %ust making conversation anddont really care1. I this is the case, the best thing to do is say :ohyeah; or :yeah well you know; or something similar and simplymoveon in the conversation.


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Its important that you react without surprise or concern. If

your

body language is smooth! it will go smoothly. %ou dont ha"e to

e$plain yourself. 2e"er e$plain yourself. #he 4(6LD#,

worst thingyou can do is act like a deer caught in the headlights and then

try to

argue your way out. (e smooth! dont disagree! and then

change the

topic.

Okay, but what about getting called in a more serious ashion?

-hat i the person is concerned about your inconsistencies?&gain, the deer in the headlights6e+planation is the worst way tohandle it. 0hat I like to do is simply say without emotion Ilied. #his

will work wonders because people will find it humorous. #hey

wont

know what to think other than to laugh. /his also leaves youlooking incontrol, conident, and seemingly unconcerned. /his is what youwantto happen. I this doesnt work and the person continues to pressyou,simply say I changed my mind and mo"e on. I the person stillcontinues to try and out you, turn the tables on them.6ay Itsnice to

know youre so interested in me or something of that nature.

If you act like its not a big deal! it wont be. 6tay in control.

5aintaininglarge or small scale1. In reality, its anabsolutemust. /his isnt %ust about approaching people or the irst time, its


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also about people you deal with on a daily basis.

#here has to be some

le"el of balance to each relationship. If youre not making

efforts tocontact


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oogle.com inde+es websites by rating them on a basis oimportance. If a website with a high rank links itself to yourwebsite!

your websites rank will automatically be raised. It takes

importance toget importance. #he e$act same is true in the social world.

ne of the reasons people go after those at the lower rung of

the social ladder is that it seems easier./here is less o a threatandless ear o re%ection. *emember: %oull not get "ery far bytaking the

easy route.(oure %ust wasting your time to ocus your eorts onimpressing those with little inluence.

y going ater those at the top, youll position yoursel amongthose people. /his also gives you easy access to all the peoplebelowthem. &ligning yoursel with those who are respected and admiredwillalmost instantly give you the same level o recognition

Its 2ot what %ou 6ay! Its that %ou 6ay It

-hile 3uality is more important than 3uantity in many things inlie, talking is not one o them.

I doesnt matter what youre saying, i youre talking people willlike you. /his is what I want you to reali=e. /he more you talk, thebetter o youll be >within reason1. (ou have to keep this in mind.

ne common mistake people make is thinking they actually

ha"e

to ha"e something witty


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aresaying is overly great? Its not. /he reason they are successul withpeople is that they are talking.

!ow, keep in mind that Im not suggesting you talk overeveryone. Im suggesting that you continually contributewhether or

not you ha"e anything particularly rele"ant to say. eep ontopic, butdont worry about saying something particularly inventive.

/hink about it, people talk constantly in public, how much of the

con"ersation doyou think people actually remember?8ost people walk awayromconversations >particularly group conversations1 and nevermentallyreturn to them >or even remember them1 again /his is natural.1eople

wont remember what you"e said! theyll remember that you

hadsomething to say.

/his is another e+tremely important reali=ation you have tomake. #he content is almost meaningless! its all aboutcontributing.

%ou must contribute.

%our 3omment Eoes 6eemingly Dnnoticed

-eve all e+perienced this. (oure talking in a group o Npeople and you make a comment that is seemingly ignored. /herearea number o possible reasons or this. "erhaps someone elsesremarkovershadowed yours >the LIBL( scenario1, maybe a situational


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actorcoincidentally killed your comment, maybe the topic oconversationwas switched at the same time you introduced your remark.

2ow! the problematic personality will take this and think: they

didnt care about what I had to say. I this is how you think, thisissomething you must work on. Aust remember,its a personal signof

weakness to be so concerned of rejection.Learn to accept that ithas

!O/$I! to do with you

BB


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o it>because thats the rational response1. Aust give it a try. eeptalking.Ignore your doubts and move on. "retty soon those doubts will be

allbut orgotten >or unnoticed, much like you comment1.

Lose 0eight if 2eed (e

&nd you thought black people were discriminated against? 8an.I dont care what color your skin is or how insane the religiousnonsense you believe is, nobody in society is discriminated againstmore than overweight people. I you are at, people are looking at

youand acing a sense o empowerment and privilege rom comparingthemselves to you. I that makes you eel like shit, it should.BS"BEI&LL( I@ (O5 &andrankly,this couldnt be more obvious1. Its not fair! its stupid! itswrong! but

its reality.

I dont care how angry you are about what you %ust read.#his is


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the reality we 4LL li"e in. 4ccept it and capitali&e on it. If you

lack the

common sense to take ad"antage of this! its your loss. %oure

not

going to change the world.

Lose the Irrational -reams 7 %oure 2ot Eoing to 3hange the

0orld

Dont think that someday people are going to see things yourway i you continue on the way you are. /his will never happen.I bet you think that i you were president, you would be able tosave the world, ind peace, etc. Did you really think it was this

easy?Do you really think you, o all people, have the answers? I canunderstand i you do >because many people do *think* that way1,buttrust me, you dont. I it were that easy, it would have been done along time ago.

Look at handi, one o the most respected6admired personalitieso all time. $e was known or his great inluence and ability topersuade others. -e all know his most amous words) :an eye oraneye makes the whole world blind;. Look at the world today. $as hemade that much o a dierence? !o. "eople are killing each otherasyou read this. &nd Im not even %ust talking about the 8uslims vs.-esterners shit. Look at what goes on in &rica each day. "eopleare

slaughtering each other.

Im not trying to make a political statement here. I %ust want youto reali=e that the world is what it is. 6ociety is what it is. 1eopleare

what they are. #he only thing you ha"e the ability to


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control


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/his is not to be applied so much to romantic dates, %ob interviews,oranything else in which intelligent responses are e+pected.

ne common misperception socially an$ious people ha"e isthat

they must ha"e something interesting to say. /he truth is) youdont(ou simply need to say something. &s much as it pains us toreali=e,people %ust dont pay that much attention to each other when thereare a number o people talking >you know this rom above1. /his is

%ust a natural phenomenon

Dont approach regular conversations like you would an interviewon Larry ing Live. (ou have to reali=e this. I you look at the waypeople converse, the most successful people are not the oneswho

meticulously plan each word like a mo"ie script! but those who

basically say anything! within reason! that pops into their head.

I youre the typical reader who sees this and sarcasticallythinks) :oh thats intelligent now;. /$IS is your problem. (ou arethinking too much. Look, all this intelligent conversation is ine in:one

on one; situations. ut, in general, i you are the type o personwhohas trouble conversing with a number o people at one time, this isthe

reason why.

roup conversations simply work dierently. 1eople are notpaying the same le"el of attention and your remarks must

reflect that.

therwise! you may as well not be there.


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#he nly 1erson 6tanding in %our 0ay is %ourself

Some people get so nervous and worked up when dealing withother people that they simply cannot unction. -hat you have to

reali=e >or the 2Jth time1 is that being re%ected is completelyharmless. I you dont take chances approaching people, youregoingto miss out on an endless number o opportunities. (oull alsocontinueto grow more alienated rom society as you age.

(O5 are the only person that is standing in your way. I you ail to

impress someone, or i someone re%ects you, you wind up no worseo. So what do you have to lose?!othing. /hats what you have to reali=e. Once you start goingater people, youll learn to shrug o re%ections. /his is howsuccessulpeople do it. %ou think the guy that gets rejected F times in aclub

cares when he takes home girl G@? f course not. %oure either

successful or youre back where you started. If youre notembracing

this! youre missing out.

(ou need to reali=e that no single person is all that important andthat other peopleas a whole are your sole keys to opportunity. -hile you must try toimpress other people, ailing to impress them leaves you no worseo.

#here is no penalty for failure.

I you work at and practice accepting this, it will eventuallybecome second nature to you.


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Eetting "er 2er"ousness of #alking to 1eople

/he only way to overcome the an+iety you e+perience withtalking to people >naturally1, is to >01 alter how you undamentallythink about other people and >21 converse with people more

>practicemakes perect1.

/his is where the element o practice comes in. !obody learnsanything overnight. It takes time. standing ne+t toyou,sitting ne+t to you already, otherwise similarly close by1.

/hink about it) when someone is so conident to think nothing otalking with people they dont know, do you look down upon them

orrespect them? /he vast ma%ority o people are respectul and evenenvious o such an ability. I you can do this, you willun3uestionablybecome more social and likeable. /he only 3uestion is how to pullit


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o.

8ost people are unable to smoothly initiate conversation withpeople they dont know >and thus rarely do it1. $ere are some

pointerso how you can do it)

0. /opic . (ou 85S/ speak o something relevant in theBnvironment. /his is usually something that %ust happened inboth your presence. -hether someone else said something,something physically happened, etc.

"ositive) (oure standing in line and a couple in the peripherystarts ighting loudly with each other. (ou may comment):now thats entertaining;.

!egative) (oure standing ne+t to someone in line at theD8. (ou say :so how about that war in Ira3;./here are three separate pieces o everyday conversation) theintro, content and the end. /hose with social problems ear all threeothem. $eres how to deal with it)

Introduction/his is the approach phase o conversations. One person speaksirst and the other reciprocates. "eople ear re%ection at this stageandit severely damages their social ability.

I you cant enter the irst stage, its also impossible or you toorm new relationships at will. (our sole source o connection isthrough other people approaching you. &s you know by know,socialpeople dont approach those they believe to be anti social.


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Dnless you want to let other people control who you talk to!

youre going to ha"e to start approaching./his way youllvastlyincrease the number o connections you make and get to select

whoyou talk to. 4s you become more sociable! youll also becomemore

approachable and people will start approaching you more >theyreadyour body language, see other people talking with you, hear aboutyour rom other, etc. >in case youre wondering how this happens1.

EontentOne reason people chose to avoid conversations is that they earthey wont have anything to talk about. /he best way to combatthis isto pick your topics >topics, not individual lines1 beorehand andremember that you dont need to say anything overly intuitive orinteresting >%ust make conversation1. Aust have a ew things to say.

&void interviewing people) this is a huge problem many peoplehave. /hey approach conversations with new people like aninterviewon the /onight Show. Dont %ust ask 3uestions. 8ake commentsandlet the other person respond. /ry not to ask 3uestions like :what doyou do;, :where are you rom;, etc. etc.Hust talk to them likeyou

already know them. If youre able to do this! people will sense

thatyoure special because you dont need to ask the easy +uestions

and

youre comfortable enough to break out of traditional comfort

&ones.Icant emphasi=e this enough) Dont %ust ask the easy6typical


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3uestions.

&wkwardness) &wkward pauses are perhaps the most diicultparts o conversations. /hey are also one o the reasons people are

sopositively responsive to those who talk >as they preventawkwardnessrom occurring1. 8y advice when it comes to awkwardness is toendthe conversation as soon as you eel it coming. Its like when yourhouse is on ire, you get out. 8ove along and resume later. Donttry

to ill silence by repeating yoursel, saying :yup; over and over, oranything else.

Bnding-hile how to end a conversation never receives much attention,your ability to end a conversation is absolutely critical. It will helpyouboth approach conversations >because you wont have to earawkwardness1 and improve your social abilities.

5y ad"ice on ending a con"ersation is to make it swift! smooth!

and without e$planation. (ou dont have to keep standing aroundtalking to someone. -hen youre inished discussing what youwantedto discuss, get out.

(ou must reali=e that other people respond 3uite well

conversations breaking o abruptly. Its surprisingly easy to say:alright then;, :sounds good; or anything else and simply walkawayrom a conversation. (ou dont have to say goodbye or that youhaveto go or anything else. Aust say :okay; and leave. O course, you


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do itin a riendly manner, but you dont have to make e+cuses oryoursel.(ou pretend you have somewhere else to go >or perhaps you really

do1and you leave.

I youre reading this thinking :that may leave the other personthinking I dont like them; youre wrong. /his is how most peopledo it.!o e+planations, e+cuses, or anything else. /hese 3uick e+its arepainless and simple. If you go out of your way to e$cuse

yourself!youre going to make the other person uncomfortable.8a+imumcourtesy is not always a good thing when it comes toconversations.

0hen you lea"e the con"ersation this way it also puts you in a

position of power that people are naturally attracted to. -e likepeoplewho make things easy or us.If you make decisions on your own!youre going to be more respected.

So to recap) !o e+cuses, reasons, or anything else. 8ove on withconidence.

4ct Like %oure 6uccessful

ack in 0, the movie &merican Dream was all the rage.

/here was a very amous line in the movie along the lines o :youmust

project an image of success to be successful. I couldnt agreemore.I you want people to listen to you, notice you, respect you, andcare about you, you must show them why you are worthy o their


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attention. I you pro%ect an image o success, you will achieve theattention you deserve.

4 big part of this is not acting ner"ous. 4lways try to look as

rela$ed and calm as possible.as you knowyourphysical actions impact your own state o mind1. "eople want to bearound those who are in control and rela+ed because it gives thempiece o mind. (ou want others to get this vibe o o you.

#ry 2ot to 3are #oo 5uch about 0hat ther 1eople are -oing

"art o pro%ecting an image o success involves showing a lack oconcern or the personal lives o others. &ter all, since your lie issointeresting, you simply dont have the attention span, right? 8aybenotyet, but you must make people believe this is the case.

ossip, critici=ing, etc. Its easy to talk bad about people. -eseem to thrive on it, but trust me, it wont get you anywhere.

Ifyou

are the type of person who doesnt care to gossip about what

other

people are doing! what type of message does that send to

others?

Importance. /hats what. It makes you seem as though yourown lie is so successul and interesting that you dont need torelect

upon others. /he result) "eople respect you more. /his isnt aboutbeing a good person, its about making people like and respectyou

(ecome a 6alesman

Im not suggesting you apply or a %ob at a local car dealership,


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ne+t weekend?.1. /his is known as an opened ended close. -hilethisis ar better than not closing at all, an assumpti"e close is usuallyfar

more successful.&n e+ample o an assumptive close would be:lets gohere ne+t weekend; or even :Ill take you there ne+t weekend;.(ouassume they are going to say yes. elieve it or not, this is howmostpeople actually conduct themselves and its what you have to startdoing as well.

8any times people drop hints, beat around the bush, try to workaround to the topic they want, etc. (oull be ar more successul iyoustart closing people instead o waiting or them to make a move. Itmay be more difficult! but it will be far more rewarding.

3losing 1oints

!ow that you know that personality change is possible throughbehavioral change and what behavioral changes you must adopttheres only one thing let to do) go out and do it.

$opeully you now understand that your life will only change ifyou make changes."erhaps the most encouraging thing youvelearned is that you have the ability to change and improve yourlie.

Bor me! the ultimate moment in my own progress was when Istarted seeing my old self in other people.-hen this occurs,youllbegin to see much o the things in this book rom a newperspective.


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@or instance, youll really understand what its like to gainempowerment rom those who are alienated socially. 8uch o thethings Ive discussed >many Im sure you disagreed with1 willcome to

you ull circle.

Aust know that the sooner you begin, the sooner your lieimproves. Similarly, e"eryday you wait is another wastedopportunity.

-ont let your life pass you by. 5ake your mo"e and dont look

back.

popular prick - condensed version

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