personal reponse october 23, 2009
TRANSCRIPT
Competing Demands October 23, 2009
My conscience told me to pursue playing hockey, there was more opportunity in it and I
loved it too much to give it up. Whatever I was thinking last year when I wasn’t going to play is
completely beyond me. This time the choice was different, I was going into my first year of high
school and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to juggle 6 sports around school any longer, especially
since both my curling and hockey teams were looking to be much more competitive, which
would consume more time than it had last year. I had already decided to for-go badminton,
school curling, track and cross country but the biggest decision was to stay loyal to my hockey
team or to quit and put my effort into my curling team. I had close friends on both teams so
there was so much more pressure to make the decision than just simply what I enjoyed more. I
was afraid to let anyone down, especially my coaches.
I was the lead on our curling team, so I knew they would be able to find someone else,
but when you only have 4 girls on the team it’s difficult to find a replacement in a short span of
time. If I quit where would they find a new lead, at the club where we curled? We’ll probably
not; there was no one there that could curl at our level. I felt terrible leaving the three of them
stranded like that. I knew where my heart was though, it was with hockey, and on the ice I was
happier than any other time, any other place. My hockey coaches heart would be broken if I
quit because he had put so much time in with me last year just to get me to improve and
prepare me as a good prospect to lead the team. I knew that if I quit hockey I would regret it. It
was that simple. I wasn’t getting much pressure from anyone but a few of my close friends,
asking what I was thinking and what I was going to decide, unlike the pressure I was receiving
from my curling team. They took me on the guilt trip a few too many times.
After looking at both sides, my decision suddenly became so easy. I came to the
realization that I was going pursue my own well-being by playing hockey. Curling had caused
me so much stress before because of single weeks notice to a bonspiel, or scrambling for a
spare to play if I was sick and if I had a bad game it stuck with me to closely. Playing hockey I
knew I had a team that would survive if I had to miss a game, we had lots of advance notice for
tournaments and games and if I had a bad game so what? My coach would mention it once and
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Competing Demands October 23, 2009
suggest an improvement and I would return to the ice, able to regain my confidence and
playing capabilities. Overall I was so much better off playing hockey.
Breaking the news to my curling team was difficult but they began to understand. I was
happier with my decision and today I don’t miss curling all that much. I am not as close to those
friends that I was before either, but I don’t blame that entirely on quitting the team, part of it
comes from the changes high school. If I was to have quit hockey though I am sure that I would
have a ton of regret following me every day, or that the next season I would have one again had
to make the choice to go back to hockey. I made the right decision.
My story can be compared to Tim O’Brien’s recollection of his struggle with the choice
of going to war or not, displays the battle between internal and external forces fighting for an
individual. His conscience was telling him to run from the war, but all of the guilt and social
pressure to attend the war took him over and he gave into the external demands and lost
himself in the process. Conversely, the choice I made, in following my heart and pursuing my
well being based on my internal demands and conscience I was able to thrive and discover my
own happiness. When an individual, like any one of us is faced with the decision between
pursuing personal well-being in the face of internal and external competing demands, they
have to decide what the cost of failure is and what they believe is right. The ability of the
individual to make this decision is based on the strength the individual’s conscience. If the
person has weak principles then it is unlikely that they will go with the decision they think it
right, but on the contrary, if an individual has a strong sense of right and wrong, they will often
follow what they are internally feeling and the right decision of pursuing their well being will
lead to a life free of guilt. If they make the wrong decision and do not go with what they believe
if right they can lose themselves and live with a lifelong guilt. In some cases you have the
opportunity to revisit the decision, but most often the choice you make is final and you better
know that you made the right choice.
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