PERSONAL & PROFESSIONAL BOUNDARIES

Boundaries are lines we stay within as professionals. When we cross them, we jeopardize our effectiveness in helping students.

Educators gain more respect and are

more effective in helping students...

Benefits of Good Boundaries

• Preserves your ability to work with students by

establishing a clear student-teacher relationship

with a focus on learning.

• Protects you from accusations of impropriety or

favoritism

• Models healthy student-teacher

relationships

for students.

• Preserves your privacy by keeping the

focus on school and school events, not on

your life outside of school.

Important Boundary Lines

• Staff-Student Boundary – Differentiating

yourself as a staff member

• Work-Home Boundary – Keeping work at work

and home at home. This includes maintaining

appropriate self-disclosure

• Personal Distance – Maintaining healthy

personal distance and contact.

• Advice Giving – Only giving advice you are

qualified to give and/or is within your role.

• Secret Keeping – Never agreeing to keep

information secret from other staff

or parents.

...when they understand boundaries and stay within their professional role

5 examples of Staff-Student

Boundary Violations

• Attempting to “fit in” by dressing or acting like

the students you work with

• Anything that could be construed as flirting,

playing favorites, or in some way giving preferential

treatment to certain students over others

• Seeking emotional support from a student: you

shouldn’t put them in a position where they have

to help you

• Having personal telephone, text or email

conversations with students that are not school

related

• Telling inappropriate jokes, rough housing, or

gossiping about others.

5 examples of Work-Home

Boundary Violations

• Talking about a student with friends or in a

public place such as a restaurant or store where

you might be overheard

• Interacting with students outside of school in

person, on the phone or through social media,

especially for personal conversations

• Giving away too much information about your

personal life that may color students’ perception

of you, such as your political beliefs or past

indiscretions

• Giving students rides in your car

• Inviting students or parents of students to your

home.

MYTH BUSTER

Dressing, acting and talking like students

DOES NOT help you establish better

relationships or gain students’ respect.

ARE SIGN POSTS YOU SHOULD PAY ATTENTION TO

What happens at school stays at school

What happens at home stays at home

3 examples of Personal distance

Boundary violations

• Standing or sitting too close to a student

• Giving hugs, backrubs or pats

• Any prolonged or lingering touch that is not

necessary to assist the student.

SUPPOSE YOU TELL STUDENTS

“I think the principal doesn’t listen to students.”

“I am an adult so I have a beer every now and then.”

“I have suffered from depression in the past.”

THIS GETS TURNED INTO…

I don’t have to listen to the principal because he’s a jerk.

Mr. Jones admits to being a drinker

Mr. Jones can’t understand me, he’s too depressed.

3 examples of Advice - Giving Boundary violations

• Playing therapist to a student who confides in

you by giving advice on personal or family matters

• Giving advice that is outside of your professional

role, such as legal, medical or dietary advice

• Giving religious or political advice / opinions.

2RULES

“TWO RULES ABOUT DISCLOSING INFORMATION THAT HELP YOU KEEP GOOD BOUNDARIES”

• The Headline Rule – Are you okay with whatever you say

to a student being on the headline of tomorrow’s paper?

Can it be changed in ways that are unfavorable to you?

• The Helpful Rule – Is the information you reveal helpful

to the student? Can the information be harmful? Could it

disrupt your relationship with students, causing them to

judge, dislike, or distrust you?

Documentation - When something happens that

makes you feel uncomfortable, such as a student

tries to cross one of your boundaries, document it

and tell colleagues about it so you have a record.

3 EXAMPLES OF INAPPROPRIATE SECRET-KEEPING

• “I won’t tell your teacher you forgot to do the

assignment.”

• “Nobody needs to know you are having

trouble at home.”

• “Tell me what’s bothering you. I promise I

won’t tell anyone.”

PROTECTIVE STRATEGIES

Here are some ways you can protect yourself from other people’s boundary problems

Double Coverage - When working with a student

that may attempt to violate boundaries (especially

physical or sexual boundaries) make sure you are

not alone with that student.

Prepare Responses - Prepare responses for when

students attempt to cross one of your boundaries.

Below are some examples.

w w w . 3 2 1 i n s i g h t . c o m

STUDENT SAYS

1. Have you ever smoked pot?

2. Can you come to my birthday this weekend?

3. Can you give me a ride home?

4. Do you think I’m pretty? Sexy? Handsome?

5. You’re my friend right?

6. Please don’t tell my parents I got this grade.

APPROPRIATE RESPONSE

1. Why do you ask? I’m not sure what that has

to do with your math assignment?

2. It’s your birthday? Happy birthday! I’m sorry

I can’t come, but have a great party.

3. I can’t, but I can call your parent and they

can help you.

4. I don’t really think about students in those

terms.

5. Well, I’m actually your (teacher/support

person etc.) and that is a bit of a different role

than a friend…

6. I don’t agree to keep any secrets, especially

from parents.

Think of a boundary that students often try to

cross with you. Plan ahead what you will say to

draw the boundary line next time it happens.

Rehearse it with a trusted colleague.

GO DO IT Activity