Personal Essay = Self-Introduction

What do you say to introduce yourself?

It depends on your audience

and your purpose

Focus on yourself and what you care about: your interests, experiences, goals

It should be features that a stranger cannot discern from your transcript, résumé, or test scores

Describe examples that illustrate your strengths and successes

Tell Them about You

Typical Questions

Form and Style

Writing

Writing Lab

Personal Statements

What is your academic history? What are your intended major and career

goals? How does this school relate? What significant challenge or positive

experience has influenced your academic career?

What cultural experiences have you had and what did you learn?

Typical Questions

What have you studied and why?

What are your accomplishments?

What have you done in school (at BC and/or other colleges) that brings you to where you are now?

Academic History

Transcript telling: Chemistry 101 [Grade] A

Personal statement showing: Holding the

warm Petri dish, it was clear which

colony had been exposed to the

antibiotic, and I knew that experimental

research would . . .

Academic History

Telling: I tried out a lot of different majors

before I found one I liked.

Academic History

Show: . . . international studies appealed to my global interests, but it emphasized business and economics too much for me. The World Languages department has been diversifying its offerings, but required me to focus on just one language and culture to meet graduation requirements. Finally, through taking a career exploration class, I found linguistics has the mix of global diversity and humanities that I seek. After taking the introductory course, I know that . . . and I’m eager to . . . .

Academic History

Current Major/Accomplishments

Take just 2 minutes to write down some notes about what you have done the last couple of years in college.

Why did you choose this major?

What can this school do for you that perhaps another school cannot?

What do you want to do after you graduate?

What are your intended major and career goals?

Why This School? Do not remind the school of its ranking,

reputation, or history with anything like this: The UW, founded in 1861, is a revered institution, ranked #6 in the nation in nursing. As such, I would be honored to be accepted . . .

Instead, address the school’s unique features that interest you.

Do your research, get to know your audience, and be specific!

Why This School? Research the school. Find key words and facts in the school’s

literature to help provide support for your claims. More specifically, look for the following: Mission Statement

“an environment for objectivity and imaginative inquiry” “the free exchange of facts, theories, and ideas” “to make humane and informed decisions”

Vision & Values “a diverse student body” / “a vibrant community” “a proud culture of innovation, collaboration, and discovery” “to become responsible global citizens”

Diversity Statement “diversity is integral to excellence” “We value and honor diverse experiences and perspectives” “access, opportunity, and justice for all”

Why This School? Research the program you’re interested in. Parse the program

website for key words and facts about the program, course offerings, and faculty. Program: Computer Science (CSE)

“Classes are small, and interaction with the faculty is high. Undergraduate participation in research is common”

“UW CSE is among the top suppliers of students n the nation to leading high-tech firms such as Microsoft, Amazon, and Google”

Courses: Story Design for Computer Animation (CSE 456) Computer Graphics (CSE 457)

Faculty who teach those courses: Brian Curless Ira Kemelmacher

Why This School? Summarize your research such that it attests to your

knowledge of the school and program, as well as your specific interests in it:

As someone who values varied perspectives, I would be excited to contribute to the university’s “vibrant community” and “proud culture of innovation, collaboration, and discovery.” In particular, I’m interested in computer graphics, animation, and game science, all strengths of the UW CSE program, which I’m pleased to learn is known for its small class size, high student-faculty interaction, and undergraduate participation in research – all vitals I’ve sought in my search for the right college. Moreover, once I fulfill my remaining prerequisites, I would really look forward to taking CSE 456, Story Design for Computer Animation, and CSE 457, Computer Graphics, as well as to work with expert teachers and mentors like Brian Curless and Ira Kemelmacher. Ultimately, …

Major and Goals

Tell: I want to attend the University of

Washington, study business, and get a job

in international trade or marketing.

Show: After researching the Foster School of Business Undergraduate program at the University of Washington, I’m excited about pursuing a bachelor’s degree in business with an emphasis in international studies and marketing. I’m also interested in completing the Certificate of International Studies in Business (CISB) while taking a range of classes in the program. I have a passion for business and cross-cultural communication and hope to apply my degree in a field that collaborates with businesses and organizations around the world. Another example of how . . .

Major and Goals

Goals/Why This School?

Go ahead and jot down your ideas!

Cultural ExperiencesGive an experience and display your self-awareness of culture.

Culture Example

Tell: I haven’t had many culturally diverse experiences, but I am eager to learn about different perspectives.

Show: Even though I haven’t been exposed to a diversity of backgrounds, cultures and perspectives, I realize the value of cultural diversity and my role in this area as a potential student at the University of Washington. For example, although we have our own beliefs, opinions, and values, our perspective is limited if we are not open to views that might be different from our own. I hope to be an active

member of the University of Washington’s vibrant student population to enrich my perspective through learning about others. For example, when I arrive on campus, I hope to get involved in student activities and organizations where I’ll have the opportunity to interact with students from all over the region, state, and world. I also hope to learn more about . . . because . . . .

Culture Example 2

Tell: I once volunteered at a homeless

shelter and was surprised at how

different people were from me.

Show: I once volunteered at a homeless shelter as part of our senior community outreach project. I was a bit judgmental at first—I thought people became homeless because they didn’t want to work or were addicted to drugs or alcohol. However, when I got the chance to talk and listen to the adults and children in the shelter, I found out that I had a lot in common with many of the people there. Even though I

can’t truly empathize with homeless people, this experience helped me learn about myself. Specifically, I learned that even if we seem different from others at first glance, we might have a lot in common. To find that out, we have to be proactive and make the choice to identify what brings us together instead of pulls us apart. By majoring in . . . I can . . .

Cultural ExperiencesHave ideas about this topic? Write ’em down!

How has your ethnic background, customs, values, and ideas of family, community, and/or social environment

affected you? challenged you? enriched you? taught you about yourself? taught you about society?

What happened? What did you learn from the experience? How will you deal with this situation if it

should happen again?

Focus on showing how your experience empowers you and prepares you for university challenges.

Challenge or Positive Experience

Telling: I got sick.

Showing: I tried to lie still, but shivers racked my body. At 3 a.m., I had to get up and change all my clothes plus the sheets because my sweat soaked through everything. Because of the sudden illness, I had to miss my mid-term exam and . . .

Challenging Experience

Positive Experience

Telling: I heard a great speaker give a talk

that made me support the use and value

of Native American languages.

Positive Experience cont’dShowing: When Vi Hilbert, who had more

strength than people a quarter her age, spoke for an hour without notes to the students in the theater, and then told a story in Lushootseed with consonants and tones I doubt anyone else in the room could repeat, I knew a very special kind of knowledge would be lost with her passing unless we, the next generation, took up the language with drive and determination.

That is why . . .

Challenging/Positive Experience

If you have some ideas of what you might

want to discuss, please note them on

your worksheet.

Start with an appeal to emotions to hook and keep readers hooked

Avoid a cliché and/or boring introduction

Form and Style

Don’t open with anything like these:

"Allow me to introduce myself. My name is..."

“To whom it may concern…”

“In response to question #1..."

"I would like to thank the admissions committee for considering my application."

“There are three reasons why you should admit me...“

Or close with something like this: "It is my sincere hope that you will grant me the opportunity to attend your fine school."

Start with a memorable opening line that catches the reader’s attention:

"As I look back, my lack of action seems disgraceful, but at the time, I was simply trying to survive."

"Amid an alien expanse of green, the air dry from a season without rain, I labored."

"I stepped off the bus at Jinan No. 1 High School in northwestern Shandong Province keenly aware of my bright red hair, and the fact that I was drawing more attention than Karl Rove at an NAACP meeting."

"As I looked out the backseat window of a new 2005 Chevy Trailblazer at the tops of houses submerged under 10 feet of water, I understood why this was such a big deal."

http://www.washington.edu/alumni/columns/june09/hub_lines.html

Tell a story

The style or tone do not need to reflect or be related to your intended major

Content matters most!

Form and Style

Attitudes to Avoid Negativity:  No one likes a complainer.  Grandiosity:  Avoid grand and unsupported claims.

For instance, claiming bluntly that you “plan to cure cancer” or “reverse climate change” is ambitious, but it shows a grave lack of understanding the complexities of these phenomena, thus exposing you as unrealistic.

“It’s My Destiny”:  You have not “always known” that you want to be a nurse, geologist, psychologist, etc. Nor are such claims as “everyone has always said I would make a good one” or “I was born to do it” or “It’s my destiny to attend the UW” evidence of real interest in a given field, program, and/or school.

Attitudes to Avoid cont’d: “I am special”: Of course you are, but claiming “you

probably do not see many applicants like me” is both arrogant and, for that reason, untrue (Admissions committees see plenty).

“I am a victim”: If you have experienced difficulties, explain your experiences dispassionately and focus on how you overcame these difficulties, what you learned from them, and how you are a stronger person as a result.

“I had an epiphany”: Your pursuit of a given program and/or major should be the result of a series of thoughtful, conscious, and reflective decisions, NOT a sudden, one-time realization.

Maintain a positive and upbeat tone!

Qualities to Portray:

MaturityCompassion and empathyHonesty Genuineness and sincerityIntegrityLeadershipClarity of thought InsightfulnessPassion                 HumanityIndividuality           A realistic perspectivePositivity               EnthusiasmLogic                     Insight into your chosen profession Distinctiveness     Industriousness and persistenceCommitment         Ability to relate to diverse people  Self-awareness Strong written communication skills

Introduce Yourself

Turn to a person next to you . . .

Tell them about what you have been

doing at BC and what you want to do

after transferring.

Writing

Now let’s change the medium . . .

Write what you just discussed.

Next Step: The Writing Lab

Once you have a couple of pages drafted,

drop by the Writing Lab for a one-to-one

talk about them!

What to Bring to the Writing Lab

Your draft—printed, double-spaced Application essay prompt Something to write with Your specific questions and concerns

Final Thoughts

Liz Mendez, UW Admissions, advises: Be clear Be descriptive Be genuine Write at a college level Stay within the word limit

Personal Statement Recap

Vivid personal story

Let whoever reads your essay see you as a unique individual

Show how your struggles and triumphs have taught you how to be successful

The University of Washington Admissions:http://admit.washington.edu/Recommended: the Quick Answers link under “Admission”

For international students:https://www.applyweb.com/apply/uwi/

For all other transfer students: https://www.applyweb.com/apply/uwt/

Interview with Philip Ballinger, Director UW Admissions:http://

collegeadmissionbook.com/blog/philip-ballinger-university-washington-answers-six-questions

Advice from UCLA Admissions Officers: http://www.admissions.ucla.edu/prospect/perstmt.htm

Personal Statement Workshop Video (Univ. of California): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zo6NI4wHf4

Web Resources