" Excerpt. Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved. My dad and I were very close. As a single parent, he raisedmefromthetimeIwastwelveuntilIwas nineteen,theageatwhichIlefthome.ThatyearI movedfromDenvertoLosAngelestoexplorethe world.Dadremarriedandweremainedclose.Over theyears,IdlookforwardtohisvisitstoLosAngeleseachMarchto celebrate his birthday and catch up. Because Dad was a church pastor, he used our special time together to share the word of God with me. TherewasonebirthdayvisitIllneverforget.I decidedtotakeDadtoRedondoBeachona Wednesdayafternoon.Hardlyanypeoplewere around,anditwasabeautifulday.Theoceanwas misty,andthemoonhadrisenandwashanging above us in the sky. Dad and I walked along the beach for a while, until we found a comfortable spot to sit in the sand. Then, as we sat gazing at thewaterandlisteningtothecallsoftheseagullsandpelicansthat were gracefully flying by, he began to talk to me about Gods love for humanity. Pointingtoonepelicanslowlysoaringhighinthe sky,silhouettedagainstthemoon,Dadsaid, Carolyn,doyouseethatpelican?Imagineifthat beautifulbirdhadonlyoneresponsibilityinlife. What if it had to fly to the moon and drop off a single grain of sand that it was carrying in its pouch, and then it had to repeat this task until all the sand was removed from the face of the earth? Looking directly at me, he asked, How long do you think it would take? # It would take forever, I answered. TheloveofGodandmyloveforyouare eternal,hesaid.EvenafterIvegonetoglory, foraslongasitwouldtakeapelicantoremove thesandfromtheearthagrainatatime,thats how long my love will be with you. ThatwasthefirsttimeIcanrecallDadspeakingwithmeaboutthe prospect of his death. Of course, I didnt really want to discuss it, and, in fact, I think I changed the subject. Being in my twenties then, death seemedfaroff.Onsomelevel,IfeltthatDadwouldliveforeverand nothingbadcouldeverhappentohim.ButIalsomadeavowtoGod on that day that Id always be there to take care of Dad if he needed me. Later on, I did my best to honor this promise. Mydadwasmybestfriend,myheroandmy adviser, and I hoped and prayed hed be with me forever.ThegoodtimesIhadwithhim continuedforthenextthirty-threeyears,and thereweremanyopportunitiesforustodiscuss his end-of-life wishes. We did the best we could to prepare. But when I became his caregiver, I discovered that knowing some-ones wishes are not enough. Even doing the necessary paperwork to ensure that end-of-lifewisheswillbefulfilleddoesnotalways protectanelderlyparentoralovedone, particularlyifotherfamilymembersdisagreewiththearrangements that have been made. Even if you try to do the right things and do your besttoprepareforeverypossiblescenariothatmightarise,likethe chronicillnessofaparentandthecostsassociatedwithit,youcan never be too prepared. $ Carolyn A. Brent, MBA, is an American author, elder care legislation advocate, and inspirational speaker. She is best known as the author of award winning best-selling books, The Caregivers Companion and Why Wait? SUPPORT the MISSION of CareGiverStory Inc. is a 501(c)(3) Tax Exempt Non-profit. Help us support the caregivers and their LOVED ones. We need your Support more than ever before. No matter the amount.CareGiverStory Inc. 501(c)(3) Tax Exempt Non-profit Editorial Reviews NotlimitedtoaddressingtheneedsofAlzheimerspatients,thiscompact manualfromBrent,founderofCaregiverStoryandGrandpasDream,two nonprofit organizations geared toward providing comprehensive support for caregivers,walksreadersthroughthecrucialissuesofmovingtheiraging lovedonesintoanassisted-livingfacilityaswellasdiscussingemotional, medical,legal,andfinancialissueswiththem.Checklistsareprovidedfor gatheringimportantinformation.Aparticularlyhelpfulchapterdelvesinto thefrequentdilemmaofdealingwiththelovedonesresistancetoeven talking about these issues. VERDICT An excellent, comprehensive guide to everything both new and seasoned caregivers need to know. % !"#$%&'$#()*+- !"#$%&'$# .*/01&*23 456789:. !;86!4