bully free lesson plans - corabi.net: todd corabi's … co pyright @ january 21008 by allan l....

Bully Free Lesson Plans -First Grade-

ALLAN BEANE, PH.D. and LINDA BEANE

Copyright © 2009 by Allan L. Beane. All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the l976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per copy fee. Requests to the publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, Bully Free Systems, LLC, 262 Ironwood Drive, Murray, KY 42071, 270 2270431, fax 270 7531937; or by email [email protected].

Certain pages from this book are designed for use in a classroom setting and may be customized and reproduced for classroom purposes by the schools purchasing this book. The only reproducible pages are the handouts and worksheets.

Copyright © 2009 by Allan L. Beane. All rights reserved.

The above notice must appear on all copied handouts and worksheets.

Bully Free ® , Bully Free Zone ® and Bully Free Classroom ® are registered trademarks of Free Spirit Publishing, Inc., Minneapolis, MN.

This free permission to copy the handouts and worksheets does not allow for systematic or largescale reproduction, distribution, transmission, electronic reproduction, or inclusion in any publications offered for sale or used for commercial purposes—none of which may be done without prior written permission of the publisher, Bully Free Systems, LLC.

Readers should be aware that Internet Web sites offered as citations and/or sources for further information may have changed or disappeared between the time this was written and when it is read.

Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the author has used his best efforts in preparing this book, he makes no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaims any implied warranties of merchantability of fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representative or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. The author shall not be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages.

Some of the material in this book is reproduced from and/or based on The Bully Free Classroom: Over 100 Tips and Strategies for Teachers K8 by Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. © 1999. The material is used with permission from Free Spirit Publishing Inc., Minneapolis, MN: 18667037322; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

The definitions quoted in this book were taken from the New Webster’s Dictionary (College Edition), Delair Publishing Company, 1981.

Bully Free Systems books and products are available through the website www.bullyfree.com. To contact Bully Free Systems, LLC directly call our Customer Care Department at 2702270431, or fax 2707531937.

mailto:[email protected]

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TABLE OF CONTENTS Preface ............................................................................................................................................. 1 Dedication........................................................................................................................................ 2 Acknowledgments ............................................................................................................................ 2 Introduction...................................................................................................................................... 3 Lesson Plan Record Chart................................................................................................................. 9

CORE BULLY FREE LESSON PLANS Lesson C1 How Can I Make Friends and Be a Good Friend? ................................................................ 13 Lesson C2 What Don’t Good Friends Say or Do? ................................................................................................ 16 Lesson C3 When Have I Not Acted Like a Good Friend?................................................................ 21 Lesson C4 What is Bullying?............................................................................................................................... 23 Lesson C5 What is a Bully Free Classroom?................................................................................................ 27 Lesson C6 What are Our Bully Free Classroom Rules?................................................................ 35 Lesson C7 Should I Report Bullying? ................................................................................................ 41 Lesson C8 What Does Physical Bullying Look Like? ................................................................ 44 Lesson C9 What Does Verbal Bullying Look Like? ............................................................................................. 47 Lesson C10 What Does Social Bullying Look Like?.............................................................................................. 51 Lesson C11 Do You Remember the Different Types of Bullying? ................................................................ 55 Lesson C12 When and Where Have I Seen Bullying? ............................................................................................ 57 Lesson C13 What Should I Not Do When Someone Tries to Bully Me?................................................................ 60 Lesson C14 What Should I Do When Someone Tries to Bully Me? (Part 1Planning Ahead)................................ 63 Lesson C15 What Should I Do When Someone Tries to Bully Me? (Part 2Reject Mean

Words) ................................................................................................................................ 65 Lesson C16 What Should I Do When Someone Tries to Bully Me? (Part 3FourStep STOP

Method)................................................................................................................................ 69 Lesson C17 What Should I Do When Someone Tries to Bully Me? (Part 4Practicing the

FourStep STOP Method)................................................................................................ 73 Lesson C18 What Should I Do as a Bystander? .................................................................................... 75

Lesson C19 What Does It Feel Like to Be Bullied?............................................................................... 80 Lesson C20 What is Empathy and Why is it Important?................................................................83 Lesson C21 What Should I Do If I Hurt Someone? ................................................................................................ 86 Lesson C22 Am I Sad and Fearful When I am Bullied or Others are Bullied? ................................ 88 Lesson C23 What are Good Ways to Deal with Anger? (STOPBREATHE SLOWLY

RELAXTHINKCOUNT) ................................................................................................ 93 Lesson C24 What is a Bully Free Bathroom?................................................................................................ 99 Lesson C25 What is a Bully Free Cafeteria? ................................................................................................ 102 Lesson C26 What is a Bully Free Hallway? ................................................................................................ 105

Lesson C27 What is a Bully Free Playground?................................................................................................ 108 Lesson C28 What is a Bully Free Gym?................................................................................................ 112 Lesson C29 What is a Bully Free Bus? ................................................................................................ 115 Lesson C30 What Have I Learned? What Do I Need to Do Next?................................................................ 120

SUPPLEMENTAL BULLY FREE LESSON PLANS Lesson S1 Create a Class Directory or Scrapbook................................................................................................ 121 Lesson S2 Why Do Some Students Bully Others? ............................................................................................... 122 Lesson S3 Physical Bullying or Verbal Bullying?................................................................................................ 123 Lesson S4 How Can I Encourage Others with Positive Comments?................................................................ 125 Lesson S5 Kindness Box ................................................................................................................................ 126 Lesson S6 Kindness Pals ................................................................................................................................ 127 Lesson S7 Secret Kindness Reporter................................................................................................ 128 Lesson S8 What are the Rewards for Acts of Kindness? ................................................................ 129 Lesson S9 Feelings Jar ................................................................................................................................ 132 Lesson S10 What are Good Ways to Deal with Anger? (Part 1The Anger Cloud)................................ 134 Lesson S11 What are Good Ways to Deal with Anger? (Part 2Talk Sense to Myself)................................ 137 Lesson S12 What are Good Ways to Deal with Anger? (Part 3More Healthy Ways) ................................ 140 Lesson S13 What is a Bully Free Stairwell? ................................................................................................ 141 Lesson S14 Behavioral Expectations in the Bathroom (Part 1)................................................................ 144 Lesson S15 Behavioral Expectations in the Bathroom (Part 2)................................................................ 147 Lesson S16 Behavioral Expectations in the Cafeteria (Part 1)................................................................ 149 Lesson S17 Behavioral Expectations in the Cafeteria (Part 2)................................................................ 151 Lesson S18 Behavioral Expectations in the Hallway (Part 1)................................................................ 153 Lesson S19 Behavioral Expectations in the Hallway (Part 2)................................................................ 155 Lesson S20 Behavioral Expectations in the Stairwell............................................................................................. 157 Lesson S21 Behavioral Expectations on the Playground (Part 1) ................................................................ 159 Lesson S22 Behavioral Expectations on the Playground (Part 2) ................................................................ 161 Lesson S23 Behavioral Expectations on the Bus (Part 1) ................................................................ 163 Lesson S24 Behavioral Expectations on the Bus (Part 2) ................................................................ 165 Lesson S25 Do You Want to Celebrate – Have a Party? ................................................................ 167

References....................................................................................................................................... 168 About the Authors ........................................................................................................................... 169

Copyright @ January 21008 by Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. 1

PREFACE Several years ago, the pain of being bullied visited our home. When our son, Curtis, was in seventh grade, he was bullied and eventually isolated by several students. My wife and I decided to transfer him to another school system. He found acceptance and a sense of belonging at the new middle school. Then at age fifteen, Curtis was in a car accident that changed his life. My wife and I had to give the surgeons permission to remove two fingers and onethird of his right hand. He had two other fingers repaired and one rebuilt. When he went back to school, many of his classmates encouraged and supported him. But many were cruel to him. Once again, I asked myself, “How can kids be so cruel?” There was a cry from within me for answers. I wanted to know if I could stop cruelty from developing and I wanted to stop it after it had already developed.

There was also a cry from within my son and it was deeper and more intense than mine. The bullying had a tremendous impact on his selfesteem, confidence and emotional health even into his adult years. At the age of twentythree, he suffered from depression and anxiety. He developed posttraumatic stress from the car wreck and the persistent bullying. He also sought the company of the wrong people. They convinced him to escape his depression, anxiety and emotional pain by taking an illegal drug, METH. He had a heart problem that no one knew about and the drug killed him.

Now you understand why I am passionate about preventing and stopping bullying and why I am writing this book for you. I understand the pain expressed by children who are bullied and the heartache their parents experience. I want to stop the pain. I also have witnessed the frustration of professionals who seek to prevent and stop bullying. They have a tremendous need for resources designed to help them prevent and stop bullying. In response to my son’s bullying, I wrote my first book, The Bully Free Classroom. I wrote this book because I do not want any student to experience what our son did. I especially do not want them to take the path he took. After his death, my wife, Linda and I wrote several books and developed numerous other materials and resources (bracelets, brochures, posters and others) that now make up the Bully Free Program. Thousands of schools in the United States and other countries now use our materials and resources. Linda and I work full time helping schools implement the Bully Free Program. We have dedicated the rest of our lives to preventing and stopping bullying. Our efforts have expanded into presenting school assembly programs, presenting to parents, training school personnel and training others who work with young people. Visit our Website www.bullyfree.com for more information. Bullying can be found in every neighborhood, school system and school. To prevent and reduce it requires a systematic effort in each school. Ideally, there will be a school system wide commitment to preventing and stopping bullying. There must be adult involvement, including parents and others in the community. But this kind of commitment doesn’t always exist. I have actually had school superintendents tell me that bullying didn’t exist in their school system. Adults denying that bullying exists or ignoring bullying is the worst thing that can happen to children, a school and a community. When adults harness the energy of school personnel, parents, community representatives and children, bullying can be prevented and stopped, or at least significantly reduced. I often wonder if we can ever eliminate it—considering the nature of human beings. However, I am extremely hopeful. Using this book is the first step toward making that a reality. Please keep in mind that an effective antibullying program has several components. No single book or strategy is adequate by itself to prevent and stop bullying. I hope you find this book informative and helpful.

Allan L. Beane



DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to our son, Curtis Allan Beane, who was bullied in seventh grade and high school. It is also

dedicated to our daughter, Christy Turner; our soninlaw, Mike; and our grandchildren, Emily Grace Turner, Sarah Gail Turner, Jacob Allan Turner and Jimmy Andrew Turner. They have been a light in the darkness caused by Curtis’s death. We hope this book, and those who use it, will bring light

into the darkness of students who are bullied.

– Allan and Linda Beane

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Grateful thanks are offered to everyone who has helped by providing advice, information and suggestions during the preparation of this book. Special thanks are offered to Ms. Eleanor Mills Spry, Assistant Superintendent of the Murray Independent Schools System, Ms. Janet Caldwell, Principal of Murray Elementary School and the school’s personnel. Special thanks are also offered to Ms. Sharon Morgan, professional development coordinator for the Constellation School District, Parma, Ohio and other school personnel of her school district. We would also like to thank Ms. Margaret Cook, Principal of North Calloway Elementary School and her school’s personnel for their tremendous insight and excellent contribution to the content of these lessons. We also wish to thank Lauren Murphy and Claudia Rohling, authors of A Leader’s Guide to Just Because I Am and A Leader’s Guide to We Can Get Along: A Child’s Book of Choices (Free Spirit Publishing Company, Minneapolis, MN) for granting permission to use some of their ideas and materials.


INTRODUCTION

As a teacher or counselor, you will find this book a powerful instructional antibullying resource with an excellent scope and sequence of lesson plans. They purposefully have a heavy focus on antibullying content. The lessons were developed by teachers for teachers over a twoyear period. They were fieldtested in over 20 schools in the United States.

The lesson plans in this book are designed to create a supportive, caring, peaceful and safe classroom and school. They are designed to help you establish an environment where students and adults feel psychologically, emotionally and physically safe. They help students who are bullied cope with their feelings and with the bullying, as well as encourage bullies to stop mistreating others. Many of the lessons are designed to empower bystanders and to teach them to play a major role in preventing and stopping bullying. Students can be powerful change agents in their classrooms and their school.

Help create a Bully Free classroom and school today by systematically implementing the lesson plans in this book.

Core and Supplemental Lesson Plans

Your goal is to teach at least one lesson each week. If possible, all of the teachers at the same grade level should teach the same lesson(s) each week, at the same time on the same day. This will prevent students from getting the same lessons from different teachers. The lesson plans have been divided into two categories: Core Bully Free Lesson Plans and Supplemental Bully Free Lesson Plans. The core plans are considered essential. The supplemental lesson plans can be used if you wish to teach more than one each week or wish to target specific problem areas. Since the lesson plans are very interactive, during the field testing of the lesson plans it was discovered the time required to teach the lessons varied from one teacher and class to another. However, you can assume they are 30 to 45 minutes in length.

Description of Lesson Components and Elements

You may adapt these lessons to meet the needs of their students and to adhere to lesson plan policies and procedures of your school, as well as state requirements. Most of the lesson plans have six components: Learner Outcome(s); Preparation and Materials; Activities; Journaling; Parent Chat and Go Further. The associated handouts and worksheets appear at the end of the lessons.

Learner Outcome(s). This component indicates what students will learn and be able to do as a result of the lesson.

Preparation and Materials. Some of the lessons include a list of materials and supplies needed to implement the lesson plan. Included are instructions for preparing for each lesson. Sometimes this includes gathering certain materials, copying handouts and/or worksheets, making a poster and/or writing information on the board, chart paper or electronic whiteboard.

Activities. This component of the lesson plan includes a variety of activities based on the lesson’s topic. The lessons utilize principles of learning and effective teaching strategies.


Journaling. Many of the lessons end with a writing assignment that requires students to reflect upon the lesson’s content. A topic is usually provided, but you may assign a different topic or have students choose their own topic related to the lesson. Students should write in a journal (notebook). If you wish for students to keep handouts and/or worksheets from the lessons in their journal, require it to be a threering binder or to have pockets.

Parent Chat. Some of the lessons include a brief homework assignment called Parent Chat that requires students to briefly share what they are learning through the Bully Free Lessons. Sometimes parents are asked to share their experiences and thoughts regarding the topic(s). These are provided to reinforce learning and to educate parents about bullying and the efforts of the school.

Go Further. Some of the lessons include a Go Further section that includes extension activities or activities to help maintain what the students have learned. Sometimes, strategies for preventing and stopping bullying are also suggested.

Classroom Meetings Classroom meetings, when used in conjunction with other strategies, have been found to be effective in preventing and reducing bullying. Therefore, the Bully Free Program endorses the use of classroom meetings but asks that they be used in conjunction with the Bully Free Lesson Plans to obtain the full effectiveness of the program. Classroom meetings teach students skills such as: active listening, problem solving, giving and accepting compliments, negotiation and compromise, respect for different opinions, taking turns, patience, etc. Such meetings can also reinforce and maintain content learned through the Bully Free Lesson Plans. Even though a review is built into the lesson plans, reviewing several previous lessons in classroom meetings can prevent the common practice of covering material and then moving to new topics.

Such meetings give the teacher an opportunity to serve as an encourager, to correct errors in thinking and to discuss bullying issues that have surfaced since the last meeting.

Classroom meetings communicate the teacher’s desire that students share in the responsibility of preventing and stopping bullying. This encourages students and helps create a “telling environment” where students report bullying. Students develop a sense of ownership in the program because they are given an opportunity to share their thoughts and opinions that impact the classroom atmosphere, school culture and the behavior of others.


Guidelines for Conducting Classroom Meetings

• Once or twice a week, ask students to sit in a Ushape facing you. This will encourage them to look at you and not at each other. When they look at each other, they are more likely to use names in their stories.

• One teacher recommended adding an extra chair as a signal that others can attend the meeting and to signify inclusiveness and acceptance.

• As students sit down, note good behavior by complimenting the students. Be specific in your praise.

• Meetings with first grade students typically last fifteen minutes. Teachers can determine the length of the meetings and the days to conduct the meetings.

• During the first meeting, ground rules should be established. Some ground rules are: o We raise our hands to get permission to speak. o We listen to the person speaking and do not interrupt. o We understand that not everyone has to speak. o We do not mention names, unless the teacher says it is okay. o We do not hurt the feelings of others.

• Time may be used to get to know each other and plan projects.

• At the beginning of each meeting, the teacher should tell students the purpose of the meeting.

• Time can also be allocated to discuss antibullying curriculum content and/or solve certain relational problems. Usually, no names are mentioned.

• Time may be allocated for roleplaying.

• If the teacher wishes, students can suggest topics for the meetings by placing their ideas in a suggestion box or a notebook provided by the teacher for that purpose.

• Encourage discussion by asking openended questions.

• Ask students to raise their hand if they wish to answer a question.

• When possible, make up an activity or game that uses the content. All the students are to be on the same team – not competing with each other. Also, do not call on specific students.

• At the end of each meeting, review the major points made during the meeting.

In addition to reviewing the content learned through the Bully Free Lesson Plans, classroom meetings can also be used to explore solutions to real or fictitious bullying situations. Caution should also be used in presenting a real situation where the bullied student and the student who bullies are known by students. Students who bully love the publicity. The teacher may also make up a situation or describe a situation observed outside the classroom. The following guidelines will help teachers conduct meetings focusing on bullying situations.


Guidelines for Conducting Classroom Meetings Focusing on a Bullying Situation

• Introduce the purpose of the meeting (focusing on solutions to a specific bullying situation). Please do not mention names. State what they will learn from the meeting.

• Explain the classroom meeting rules: o Everyone has the right to be heard. o Raise your hand to speak. o Do not interrupt the person speaking. o It is okay to disagree, but do it in a nice way. o Do not use bad language. o Do not talk about someone (mentioning their name) in our class who is bullied

or who is bullying others.

• Describe the bullying situation you made up. (It could be something you observed in the hallway, cafeteria or playground. The situation does not have to involve students in your classroom.)

• Let students ask questions to clarify information about the students and the situation. For example, they may ask you if the student who bullies is bigger and older than the other student. Did the bullied student do something he/she shouldn’t have done?

• Help students examine the details of the situation. Review the facts with them. • Encourage the exploration of different perspectives (the bullied student and the student

who bullies). • Write their questions. If you can’t answer them, you can address them later.

• Encourage discussion by asking openended questions. Ask questions that will help them develop sensitivity, empathy and encourage them to treat others the way they would want to be treated.

• Help students explore possible solutions. Facilitate their efforts to select the best possible solution(s). Ask them to select and rank the top three or four preferred solutions.

• When possible, use roleplaying. • At the end of the lesson, review major points and decisions made during the meeting.

Importance of Terminology

You will notice an effort in the lesson plans to avoid the terms or labels victim and bullies. It is our preference that students not be labeled. When possible, we prefer “students who are bullied” and “students who bully others.” There are a few places in the lesson plans that we use the term victim or victims because we want to emphasize their victimization or abuse by others.


Additional Strategies and Activities A wealth of additional strategies and activities can be found in The Bully Free Classroom (Free Spirit Publishing) by Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. and the Bully Free Guide for Elementary Teachers and Counselors available at www.bullyfree.com.

Professional Development and Presentations to Students and Parents To support your efforts to prevent and stop bullying, you might find it helpful to contact Bully Free Systems, LLC (www.bullyfree.com) who offers presentations to students, parents and school personnel. A variety of three to six hour workshops for school personnel are also available. Contact: Bully Free Systems, LLC, phone: (270) 2270431 or email [email protected].

Letter to Parents We recommend you use the following letter to parents to introduce your antibullying efforts and the Parent Chats.



mailto:[email protected]


Date

Dear Parent/Caregiver,

As I look back on my school days, I remember times when students were mistreated almost every day, bullied. You probably can too. Bullying has become an important topic for parents and schools to address because it is different today. It is more prevalent and more intense. It is now understood to be very destructive to the well being of students, creates unsafe schools and creates a school climate that hinders learning.

We are committed to doing something about bullying. If it’s not a problem, we want to make sure it doesn’t start. That’s called prevention. If it is a problem, we’re determined to stop it. That’s called intervention.

As your child’s teacher, I’m committed to prevention and intervention in my classroom. That’s why I will be teaching several lessons this year about bullying. These lessons are designed to create a positive environment where everyone feels safe, accepted, a sense of belonging and valued. They also provide students with information to help them develop empathy, selfcontrol and skills to cope with bullying and to become bystanders who take a stand against bullying.

From time to time, I’ll send home a Parent Chat handout related to our Bully Free lessons. You are asked to discuss with your child what is on the Parent Chat handout. This is a schoolwide effort, therefore, each year you may see similar Parent Chats. We believe this repetition in content is important for your children to learn the content.

If you have questions or concerns, I hope you will contact me personally.

Sincerely,

___________________________________________ Name

___________________________________________ Telephone

___________________________________________ Email Address


Lesson Plan Record Chart

To assist in tracking and reporting the lessons you have taught, the following “Lesson Plan Record Chart” is provided. Space is provided for notes regarding changes you wish to make the next time you teach the lesson. This chart also serves as an accountability tool or report form. A copy of it should be given to your principal on a regular/systematic basis to report the lessons you have taught. Ask your principal to specify the desired frequency of such reporting.


Lesson Plan Record Chart (First Grade) Teacher:__________________________

Lesson Title of Lesson Plan Check When

Complete Notes

CORE LESSON PLANS

Lesson C1 How Can I Make Friends and Be a Good Friend?

Lesson C2 What Don’t Good Friends Say or Do?

Lesson C3 When Have I Not Acted Like a Good Friend?

Lesson C4 What is Bullying?

Lesson C5 What is a Bully Free Classroom?

Lesson C6 What are Our Bully Free Classroom Rules?

Lesson C7 Should I Report Bullying?

Lesson C8 What Does Physical Bullying Look Like?

Lesson C9 What Does Verbal Bullying Look Like?

Lesson C10 What Does Social Bullying Look Like?

Lesson C11 Do You Remember the Different Types of Bullying?

Lesson C12 When and Where Have I Seen Bullying?

Lesson C13 What Should I Not Do When Someone Tries to Bully Me?

Lesson C14 What Should I Do When Someone Tries to Bully Me? (Part 1Planning Ahead)

Lesson C15 What Should I Do When Someone Tries to Bully Me? (Part 2Reject Mean Words)

Lesson C16 What Should I Do When Someone Tries to Bully Me? (Part 3FourStep STOP

Method)

Lesson C17 What Should I Do When Someone Tries to Bully Me? (Part 4Practicing the FourStep STOP Method)



Complete Notes

Lesson C18 What Should I Do as a Bystander?

Lesson C19 What Does It Feel Like to Be Bullied?

Lesson C20 What is Empathy and Why is it Important?

Lesson C21 What Should I Do If I Hurt Someone?

Lesson C22 Am I Sad and Fearful When I am Bullied or Others are Bullied?

Lesson C23 What are Good Ways to Deal with Anger? (STOP BREATHE SLOWLYRELAXTHINKCOUNT)

Lesson C24 What is a Bully Free Bathroom?

Lesson C25 What is a Bully Free Cafeteria?

Lesson C26 What is a Bully Free Hallway?

Lesson C27 What is a Bully Free Playground?

Lesson C28 What is a Bully Free Gym?

Lesson C29 What is a Bully Free Bus?

Lesson C30 What Have I Learned? What Do I Need to Do Next?

SUPPLEMENTAL LESSONS

Lesson S1 Create a Class Directory or Scrapbook

Lesson S2 Why Do Some Students Bully Others?

Lesson S3 Physical Bullying or Verbal Bullying?

Lesson S4 How Can I Encourage Others with Positive Comments?

Lesson S5 Kindness Box

Lesson S6 Kindness Pals

Lesson S7 Secret Kindness Reporter



Complete Notes

Lesson S8 What are the Rewards for Acts of Kindness?

Lesson S9 Feelings Jar

Lesson S10 What are Good Ways to Deal with Anger? (Part 1 The Anger Cloud)

Lesson S11 What are Good Ways to Deal with Anger? (Part 2 Talk Sense to Myself)

Lesson S12 What are Good Ways to Deal with Anger? (Part 3 More Healthy Ways)

Lesson S13 What is a Bully Free Stairwell?

Lesson S14 Behavioral Expectations in the Bathroom (Part 1)

Lesson S15 Behavioral Expectations in the Bathroom (Part 2)

Lesson S16 Behavioral Expectations in the Cafeteria (Part 1)

Lesson S17 Behavioral Expectations in the Cafeteria (Part 2)

Lesson S18 Behavioral Expectations in the Hallway (Part 1)

Lesson S19 Behavioral Expectations in the Hallway (Part 2)

Lesson S20 Behavioral Expectations in the Stairwell

Lesson S21 Behavioral Expectations on the Playground (Part 1)

Lesson S22 Behavioral Expectations on the Playground (Part 2)

Lesson S23 Behavioral Expectations on the Bus (Part 1)

Lesson S24 Behavioral Expectations on the Bus (Part 2)

Lesson S25 Do You Want to Celebrate – Have a Party?


LESSON C2 What Don‛t Good Friends Say or Do?

Learner Outcomes: By the end of this lesson students will be able to:

discuss what good friends should not do. identify words and actions that cause or escalate conflict.

Preparation and Materials:

• Chart paper and markers for each group • Copy the Parent Chat handout “What Good Friends Don’t Say or Do” for each student to take

home and discuss with his parents. • Copy the handout “Things Good Friends Don’t Say or Do – Strips” and cut it into strips so you

will have one strip for each student. • Art supplies for drawing pictures in journals

Activities: 1. Review the previous lesson.

2. Divide the class into groups of three or four students. Try not to group a student with those he 1 bullies. Give each group one sheet of chart paper and ask them to make a list of things friends should not do. Ask each group to share their thoughts.

3. Give students the Parent Chat handout “What Good Friends Don’t Say or Do.” Point out the things they have already mentioned and compliment them for recognizing these characteristics. As you discuss each item on the handout ask students to tell about times when someone mistreated them in the same way. Ask them not to mention names. Discuss how these things make people sad and angry.

4. Give each student a strip of paper you made from the handout “Things Good Friends Don’t Say or Do – Strips.” Tell them that since these are things we should not do, you want them to walk over to the trash can with their strip of paper when you call their name and you want them to hand it to you. You will read what is on the paper and ask the class if it is something a good friend should do. Then you want the entire class to respond in unison with “No.” The student is then to rip up the strip of paper and throw it in the trash. Ask the class to cheer when it is thrown in the trash.

5. Review some of the major points of the lesson.

1 Throughout this book, the words “he” or “she” are used interchangeably to avoid the awkwardness of using “he/she” or “he or she.” This is for ease or reading only and is never meant to imply that one has a more or lesser role.


Journaling: Distribute the art supplies and ask students to draw a picture in their journal of someone doing something a good friend would not do.

Parent Chat: Ask students to take home the Parent Chat handout “What Good Friends Don’t Say or Do” and discuss it with their parents.


Parent Chat

What Don‛t Good Friends Say or Do?

Dear Parent or Guardian: Today we talked about what friends don’t say or do. Please complete the following items with your child. After completing each item, ask your child to check its corresponding box. Please include requested s and return the signed form to me the next school day. Thank you!

Cut a piece of paper into twelve ½ inch strips.

Write one of the phrases appearing in the boxes below on each strip.

Fold each strip and place it in a small container.

Ask your child to choose a strip from the container. Read what it says to your child and then ask him or her if that is something a good friend would do or would not do.

X ________________________________ X ___________________________________ Student Signature Parent/Guardian Signature

Make a mean face at you Hit you

Smile at you

Pinch you Hug you

Say something nice to

Call you names

Help you up when you fall

Make fun of your ears

Push you Include you

in play

Ignore you


Instructions: Copy and cut on dashed lines. Give a strip to each student.

Things Good Friends Don‛t Say or Do - Strips

HIT YOU

KICK YOU

SCRATCH YOU

PINCH YOU

PULL YOUR HAIR

SPIT ON YOU

TELL OTHERS NOT TO PLAY WITH YOU

PUSH YOU DOWN

YELL AT YOU

BOSS YOU

CALL YOU MEAN NAMES


BREAK WHAT BELONGS TO OTHERS

IGNORE YOU

TRY TO GET THEIR WAY ALL THE TIME

CHEAT WHEN PLAYING A GAME WITH YOU

MAKE YOU AFRAID OF THEM

PUT YOU DOWN IN FRONT OF OTHERS

MAKE FUN OF YOUR EARS

WILL NOT LET YOU PLAY WITH THEM

WILL NOT LET YOU SIT NEXT TO THEM

MAKE MEAN FACES AT YOU

MARK IN YOUR BOOK

PUSH YOUR BOOKS OFF YOUR DESK

TEAR A PICTURE YOU DREW


LESSON C4 What is Bullying?

Learner Outcome: By the end of this lesson students will be able to discuss the definition of bullying and key words in the definition.

Preparation and Materials:

• Recommended: Post in your classroom the Bully Free Classroom poster (available at www.bullyfree.com or make a poster by using the last page of this lesson).

• DVD or VHS of movie – Dumbo, The Lion King (animated version) or Forrest Gump (You can rent these from a local video store.) o If you do not have access to these movies and you remember them, be prepared to share

what you saw as it relates to bullying. • Optional book with CD (Song): Don’t Laugh at Me by Steve Seskin and Allen Shamblin

(www.bullyfree.com) • Chart paper and a marker or electronic whiteboard • Write the following definition of bullying on the board, chart paper or electronic whiteboard:

“Bullying is when a more powerful person hurts someone’s body, feelings or things or frightens someone on purpose, again and again.”

• Copy the handout “Don’t Laugh at Me” for each student to take one home and discuss with his parents.

Activities: 1. Review the previous lesson.

2. Tell students you want them to understand what you mean when you say “Bullying.” Show them the definition of bullying. Discuss the definition and ask students to repeat the underlined words after you. Discuss the meaning of these key words:

• “Bullying is when a more powerful person hurts someone’s body, feelings or things or frightens someone on purpose, again and again.” (Note: powerful – stronger physically or have psychological power – hurts – causes pain to body, feelings, or damages or steals things frightens – scares you, fear for your safety on purpose – intentional (not accidently) and they do this again and again – over and over again, persistent or repeated mistreatment)

3. Tell students bullying is a big problem in the world. Tell them that sometimes students get bullied at school.



4. Randomly select students to come to the front of the room and, with your demonstration and guidance, act out each of the key words of the definition of bullying.

5. Ask them to help you get rid of bullying in their classroom and school by obeying the Golden Rule – Treat others the way you want to be treated.

6. Point to the Bully Free Classroom poster posted in your classroom and tell them you are designating your classroom Bully Free. Explain what this means.

7. Give each student a copy of the “Bully Free Classroom” handout and the necessary art supplies for decorating it. If you have space, post their work in the classroom or post them in the hallway outside your classroom door (or on your door as a collage).

8. Remind students that you dislike it when someone is bullied and you hope they dislike it.

9. Ask students to provide examples of bullying behavior. Record their answers on the board, chart paper or electronic whiteboard. Behaviors should include physical, verbal and social/relational.


Parent Chat: Ask students to take home the Parent Chat handout “Don’t Laugh at Me” that includes the lyrics of the song “Don’t Laugh at Me” and discuss it with their parents.


®

www.bullyfree.com


Parent Chat

Dear Parent or Guardian: Today we learned what is meant by bullying. Please read the following lyrics to your child and discuss it with him or her. The song talks about bullying. “Bullying is when a more powerful person hurts someone’s body, feelings or things or frightens someone on purpose, again and again.” Please include the requested signatures and return the signed form to me the next school day. Thank you!

DON'T LAUGH AT ME (Published here with permission)

(Steve Seskin / Allen Shamblin) Song / ATV Tunes dba Cross Keys Publishing Co./ David Aaron Music/Built on Rock

Music — ASCAP

I'm a little boy with glasses

The one they call a geek

A little girl who never smiles

'Cause I have braces on my teeth

And I know how it feels to cry myself to sleep

I'm that kid on every playground

The one that's chosen last

A single teenage mother

Tryin' to overcome my past

You don't have to be my friend

But is it too much to ask?

Don't laugh at me

Don't call me names

Don't get your pleasure from my pain

In God's eyes we're all the same

Someday we'll all have perfect wings

Don't laugh at me

I'm the beggar on the corner

You've passed me on the street

And I wouldn't be out here beggin'

If I had enough to eat

And don't think I don't notice

That our eyes never meet

Don't laugh at me

Don't call me names




Don't laugh at me

I'm fat, I'm thin, I'm short, I'm tall

I'm deaf, I'm blind, hey, aren't we all

Don't laugh at me

Don't call me names




Don't laugh at me



LESSON C9 What Does Verbal Bullying Look Like?

Learner Outcomes: By the end of this lesson students will be able to: recognize verbal bullying. discuss the steps they should take when they are verbally bullied. discuss the steps they should take when they see someone verbally bullied.

Preparation and Materials: • Chart paper and a marker or electronic whiteboard • Write each of the following behaviors on a sentence strip. Prepare a section of a bulletin board

with the heading “Verbal Bullying.” (Note: Add hurtful comments you have hear first graders make.)

Verbal Bullying

• Calling you mean names

• Making fun of your clothes

• Telling you they are going to beat you up

• Making fun of your hair

• Telling you to get off the swings

• Copy the Parent Chat handout “Verbal Bullying” for each student to take home. • Optional: Words are Not for Hurting by Martine Agassi (Free Spirit Publishing), order at

www.bullyfree.com

Activities: 1. Review the definition of bullying and what physical bullying looks like.

2. Say: “Bullying is not just physical it can be verbal as well.”

3. Optional: Read and discuss Words are Not for Hurting by Martine Agassi (Free Spirit Publishing).

4. Ask: “What is verbal bullying?”

5. Tell students that sometimes students hurt other students by using their words. Hold up one of the sentence strips with a form of verbal bullying written on it. After discussing the behavior,



ask a student to place it on the board under the heading “Verbal Bullying.” Do this for each of the behaviors written on sentence strips. Elicit more examples from the students and write them on sentence strips. Ask students to place the sentence strips on the board.

6. Ask students for examples of words that hurt. If you wish, list them on the board, chart paper or electronic whiteboard. Some examples are: fatty, stupid, ugly, dummy, etc.

7. Ask students to complete the following with you:

• I would feel _____________ if someone called me fatty. • I would feel _____________if someone called me stupid. • I would feel _____________ if someone said I was ugly. • I would feel _____________ if someone called me a dummy.

8. Discuss that it is important that they use kind and polite words. Ask students to say “Yes” in unison when they hear you say kind and polite words. Prompt them as necessary.

• “It’s good to see you.” • “You can play with us.” • “You can’t play with us.” • “Your hair looks funny.” • “Get off the swing.” • “Excuse me.” • “I’m sorry.” • “Please.”

Ask students to share nice things they have heard students say.

9. Ask: “Tell me about a time someone (no names) hurt you with their words.” Ask students to share what happened but not to say names. After each student shares his or her experience, ask the class to repeat in unison the following:

• “I am sorry that happened to you.” • “That should not have happened to you.” • “I hope that never happens again.”

10. Ask: “What can you do when someone verbally bullies you?” Answer:

• Say “Stop it!” with a serious/strong face and strong but calm voice. Or say “So. That’s your opinion. It doesn’t matter what you say.” Or “This is a waste of my time.” (Run if you think you will be harmed.)

• Walk off confidently and join others. (Remind students how to look confident as they walk away (e.g., stand up straight and walk in a relaxed but energetic way with a smile on your face and your head up). Randomly select students to demonstrate how to walk off confidently.

• Report bullying to an adult. (This is not tattling.) Ask the adult to help you stay safe. • Try to stay away from the person who bullies you as much as you can. • Talk to an adult about how the bullying makes you feel.

11. Remind students they should run if there is a chance they will be harmed.


12. Randomly select students to roleplay the above response to bullying.

13. Ask: “What should you do when you see someone verbally bullied?” Answer:

• Don’t laugh. • Say “Stop it!” with a serious/strong face and strong but calm voice. Or say “So. That’s

your opinion. It doesn’t matter what you say to any of us.” Or say “This is a waste of our time.”

• Ask the person to walk off with you and join some friends. Run off if you think you and your friend will be harmed. (Remind students how to walk off confidentially (e.g., standup straight and walk in a relaxed but energetic way with a smile on your face and your head up).

• Report the bullying to an adult. (This is not tattling.) • Talk to an adult and write about how it made you feel to see someone bullied. • Be kind to the person who is bullied. • Be a good example by treating others the way you want to be treated.

14. Randomly select students to roleplay the above response to bullying.

15. Tell students you expect them to tell you or another adult when they are bullied, when they see someone bullied or when they hear about someone being bullied.


Parent Chat: Ask students to take home the Parent Chat handout “What Does Verbal Bullying Look Like?” and work on it with their parents.

Go Further: Occasionally, throughout the year, ask students if they or anyone else has recently been verbally bullied.


Parent Chat

What Does Verbal Bullying Look Like? Dear Parent or Guardian: Today we talked about what verbal bullying looks like. Please complete the following items with your child. After completing each item, ask your child to check its corresponding box. Please include the requested signatures and return the signed form to me the next school day. Thank you!

Draw an open mouth on a piece of paper. Cut an opening in the middle of the mouth big enough for your child’s lips to fit inside.

Ask your child to hold the paper mouth in front of his or her mouth so you can see his lips. (This exercise works best if you are both standing in front of a mirror).

Tell your child to pretend to do what you read to them from the list below. Ask your child to notice when their mouth moves.

Explain to them that when they say something that hurts someone again and again that is called verbal bullying.

§ Hit a person.

§ Call a person stupid.

§ Tell a mean secret about another student.

§ Pull someone’s hair.

§ Tell someone they are funny looking.

§ Trip someone.

§ Tell someone they can’t sit with you because they are dumb.



LESSON C16 What Should I Do When Someone Tries to Bully Me?

(Part 3 – Four-Step STOP Method)

Learner Outcome: By the end of this lesson students will be able to verbally describe the FourStep STOP Method as an appropriate way to respond to bullying behavior.

Preparation and Materials: • Copy on cardstock paper the handout “Stop Sign” for each student. • Art supplies for decorating a Stop Sign • Safety Scissors for each student • Craft sticks (one for each student) • Glue or stapler for attaching Stop signs to craft sticks • Write the following on the board, chart paper or electronic whiteboard:

FourStep STOP Method

S – Stand up for yourself. Say “STOP it!” Say, “Leave me alone.” (With a serious/strong face and a strong but calm voice. Walk away

confidently.) T TELL an adult.

O Go to OTHERS nearby. P Be PROUD of yourself.

(Run if you will be harmed.)

• Copy the handout “Stop Cards” so you will have one card for each student. Cut apart the cards and laminate them.

Activities: 1. Note: The statements to be made and the actions to be taken in the FourStep STOP Method

have been taught in previous lessons. This lesson is designed to place them in a framework that will help them remember what to do. Tell students you would like to teach them ways to stop someone from bullying them.

2. Review the previous lesson.


3. Distribute the handout “Stop Sign,” a pair safety scissors and a craft stick to students. Ask students to color and decorate their STOP signs. Then ask them to glue or staple their sign to the craft stick.

4. Tell students that the STOP signs can help them remember what to do if someone tries to bully them.

5. Ask everyone to hold up their STOP signs and to repeat after you several times: “We will stop bullying. We are Bully Free.”

6. Next, display the STOP messages you have written on the board, chart paper or electronic whiteboard. As you read the letters and messages ask students to repeat them after you. If you wish, discuss each message.

7. Ask if anyone would like to read the messages to the class. 8. Point to each letter and read the corresponding messages. 9. Tell students how they say “STOP it!” is very important. They should not say it in a whining

or pleading voice. They should say “STOP it!” with a serious/strong face and a strong but calm voice. Explain that ‘STOP it!’ means to STOP immediately. Demonstrate how to say “STOP it!” Then, randomly select students to say “Stop it!” with a serious/strong face and a strong but calm tone of voice.

10. Teach students how to walk away confidently (i.e., head held up, back straight, quick walk, smile on your face, etc.). Randomly select students to come to the front of the class and demonstrate how to say “Stop it!” with a serious/strong face and strong but calm voice and then to walk away confidently.

11. Remind students to run if are about to be harmed or are in danger. 12. Give students “Stop Cards” prepared for this lesson. While looking at their card, ask each

student to turn to another student and read the messages to each other. They can help each other read.

13. Review the major points of the lesson.

Parent Chat: Ask students to take home a STOP CARD and ask their parents to discuss it with them. Also ask them to take their STOP signs home and show them to their parents.

Go Further: Compliment efforts of students to say STOP and to take the actions discussed in this lesson. Also, when you hear a student tell someone to STOP and the student doesn’t stop say something like “I hear her tell you to STOP. That means that you must immediately STOP. So I want you to STOP when she tells you to.”


Stop Sign


Instructions: Copy, laminate and cut one for each student.

STOP CARDS

FourStep STOP Method S – Stand up for yourself. Say “STOP that!” Say, “Leave me alone. (With a strong face and strong

but calm voice. Walk away confidently.) T TELL an adult.


FourStep STOP Method S – Stand up for yourself. Say “STOP that!” Say, “Leave me alone. (With a strong face and strong



FourStep STOP Method S – Stand up for yourself. Say “STOP that!” Say, “Leave me alone.” (With a strong face and strong



FourStep STOP Method S – Stand up for yourself. Say “STOP that!” Say “Leave me alone.” (With a strong face and strong




REFERENCES

Beane, Allan L. (1999). The Bully Free Classroom. Free Spirit Publishing Company, 217 Fifth

Avenue North, Suite 200, Minneapolis, MN 554011299.

Beane, Allan L. and Linda Beane. (2005). Bully Free Bulletin Boards, Posters and Banners. Free

Spirit Publishing Company, 217 Fifth Avenue North, Suite 200, Minneapolis, MN 554011299.

Beane, Allan L. (2004). How You Can Be Bully Free (Grades 912). www.bullyfree.com.

Beane, Allan L. (2004). How to Help Your Child Be Bully Free (Grades 48). www.bulllyfree.com.

Murphy, Lauren and Rohling, Claudia. (1994). A Leader’s Guide to Just Because I Am. Free Spirit

Publishing Company, 217 Fifth Avenue North, Suite 200, Minneapolis, MN 554011299.

Murphy, Lauren and Rohling, Claudia. (1997). A Leader’s Guide to We Can Get Along: A Child’s

Book of Choices. Free Spirit Publishing Company, 217 Fifth Avenue North, Suite 200,

Minneapolis, MN 554011299.


http://www.bulllyfree.com/


Allan L. Beane, Ph.D., is an internationally recognized author, speaker and expert on bullying. He has over 36 years experience in education, which includes teaching special education, teaching regular education, serving as Director of a School Safety Center and serving as vice president of a university. He has served as an expert in criminal cases and as a consultant in lawsuits involving bullying. He has also made numerous television appearances.

Dr. Beane’s son was bullied in seventh grade and high school. Bullying contributed to his son’s untimely death at the age of 23. His son’s life inspired him to write his first book, The Bully Free Classroom, and other books about bullying. His first book is in several languages. Schools and districts all over the United States have adopted his Bully Free Program.

As a dynamic and highly soughtafter speaker in the United States and other countries, Dr. Beane presents keynote addresses, presentations and workshops for school districts, organizations, colleges, students and parents. His downtoearth speaking style, inspirational stories and practical strategies appeal to audiences everywhere.

Linda Beane has over 20 years of experience in educational settings. She is the coauthor of several antibullying books included in the Bully Free Program. Also a mother and grandmother, Linda has been widely recognized for her support of children and her responsiveness to their needs.

Allan and Linda operate Bully Free Systems, a company dedicated to preventing and stopping bullying. Since the death of their son Curtis, in whose death bullying played a part, they have devoted their lives to creating safe and supportive learning environments where all students can have a sense of belonging and acceptance. For information on speaking, training and workshop opportunities, visit www.bullyfree.com.

Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. and Linda Beane


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