Parenting: Toddler Continued

Looking at the Big Picture

Children in motion are developing:

bones, muscles, heart and lungs, coordination, balance, muscular strength, and control.

Manual dexterity, which is the skilled use of the hands, can be developed in toddlers by:

blocks, building sets, and large pop beads, unbreakable household items like containers

with lids and measuring spoons, large crayons or chalk, large puzzle pieces, small cars.

The toddler should be able to:

turn the pages of a book, one at a time; hold a spoon and feed him/herself; hold a crayon and make lots of marks; pick up small objects and put them into a

container.

Social Development

Toddlers are going through the intense emotions of learning to be and act on their own, asserting themselves and using their own judgement in new situations.

Toddlers are bursting with enthusiasm and can’t wait to share new adventures with parents. Favourite phrases are “Watch me!” and “Look at this!”. Toddlers need lots of encouragement and praise to develop a healthy self-concept.

Toddlers want to be independent and at the same time need parents to set limits. Parents are in control, but the toddler needs the freedom to explore and try out their new found independence. “Firm but gentle limits” are needed.

Toddlers are delighted - and scared - at the same time. They try to escape you, but will still look back to be sure you’re still there.

Soft toys or blankets get to have a particular meaning for toddlers because they replace the mother to some extent (with whom the toddler is no longer as close). It is important to offer this substitute to the child for as long as it is needed.

By the age of three, the toddler may: talk freely to self and others; want approval of loved adults; ask many questions; play happily with other children; talk to toys and dolls; spend much time in make-believe play and

role play; have a vocabulary of close to 900 words.

Emotional Development

The toddler is very open with feelings. Body language, laughter, and long explanations will keep the care giver in tune with what is happening with the toddler. Moods vary greatly from moment to moment. Parents have to try to be patient as the toddler tries and fails and experiences frustration.

Parents can help a toddler develop feelings of confidence and competence by letting a toddler decide some things he/she does regularly.

Expressing Emotions

“I” and “me” quickly become favourite words and “no” and “mine” are used with greater frequency and often with an anger and intensity which takes parents by surprise.

At this time, the toddler is beginning, just beginning, to be able to use words and imaginative or pretend play to express ideas, concerns and emotions. The parent or care giver will see themselves in the toddler’s play - acting out going shopping, doing housework, or a family outing. These abilities gradually help the toddler bring emotions under control, speed learning, and help develop better play with other children.

Intellectual Development

Intellectual development is the development of a child’s thinking skills. Language, problem-solving, and memory are all part of intellectual development.

Toddlers use all five senses in order to learn - hearing, smell, touch, vision, and taste.

In order to learn, toddlers need: the freedom to explore with safety; the freedom to experiment by banging, turning, shaking, tasting,

poking, tearing, throwing, dropping, lifting, and tugging; the freedom to discover that things are - hard, soft, heavy, wet,

cold, slippery, high, low, big, bigger, small, smaller; the freedom to make mistakes and the encouragement to try

again

Language Development

Toddlers learn language by listening, copying, and practising.

The toddler very quickly progresses to several new words. By 18 months, the toddler can say about 10 single words. By 21 months, the toddler can say about 20 single words. By 24 months, the toddler can say from 50 to 100 words. By about 21 months, two-word links appear, such as “no

more”. By about 36 months, children regularly use five or six-word

sentences.

Children understand more than they can say.

By 18 months, toddlers understand directions such as “come here” or “give me”.

By 24 months, they understand more difficult directions, such as, “Put the ball on the table” or “Give the ball to Daddy”.

By 36 months, toddlers understand questions, such as, “What is your name?”

Toys that may help the toddler learn about his/her world:

Make a chart in your notes and think of simple toys that would be appropriate under each of the age groups.

One Year Two Years Three Years

QuestionsExplain what “A toddler’s work is play” means. Suppose you have a limited budget. How could

you provide suitable toys for a toddler without spending hundreds of dollars. Suggest at least three toys that you could provide that would encourage the development of a toddler.

Why is it important to give a toddler opportunities to make choices? Give 2 examples other than the ones in the lesson to demonstrate the importance of choices.

Toddler Behaviour The Importance of Early Development

Playing together is how children start to form relationships that help develop self-esteem and confidence.

Reading together helps to form the foundation for learning that will take place in school.

Children who are nourished properly are able to perform better in school. They learn better and are more alert. Children’s eating habits begin to be formed when they are toddlers. This is when children should be forming eating habits that involve good nutrition.

From the day a child is born, he/she discovers the world by imitating the people around him/her. The child learns to eat, to observe, to listen, to walk, to play, to communicate, and to talk. The environment the child lives in every day needs to be one that encourages appropriate behaviour.

Difficult Behaviour Probably the most important achievement in the

toddler phase of development is the development of a sense of individuality and the ability to put together what is happening in the toddler’s environment.

In the toddler phase, a child begins to exert individuality with great determination and the toddler’s personality will seem to become more unique with each passing week.

During this phase, parents often see their child suddenly begin to show rapid mood swings. A toddler’s mood can swing from being proud and bold one minute, to whiny and furious with tantrums not much later.

Temper TantrumsChildren vary in the frequency and intensity of their

tantrums, but almost all children at this age lose control under stress or if they are not feeling well.

Some children may become so distraught that they hold their breath or hit their care giver along with screaming and kicking and rolling on the floor.

Parents usually become quite adept at realizing when a tantrum has become primarily a way of getting what the child wants and has been denied and when it is because the child genuinely has lost control.

At this time, a tantrum is more an expression of not being able to “keep things together” any more.

NegativismNegativism is a normal and healthy part of a young child’s

development. For the first time, he is able to:

be his/her own person rather that a baby, exert some power, test his limits, and challenge parental authority.

The toddler isn’t likely to mean “no” as fiercely as he/she expresses it. In fact, the toddler is likely not to mean it at all. Learning how to say “no” and how to shake his head are skills - and he needs to practice them, even when they’re not appropriate.

The “no’s” usually last for at least a year - and intensify before they taper off. The best way to weather this stormy period is to pay little mind to negative behaviour; the more you fuss over baby’s “no’s”, the more “no’s” you’ll hear.

Clingy BehaviourAs toddlers become more aware of their own

separateness, they often react with behaviours which they use to try and overcome their anxiety of being left. These behaviours vary from:

crying when you leave, clinging to you while you try to get on with work, increased use of security blankets, and continual whining.

When this behaviour fluctuates with struggles for independence, it can be particularly frustrating. Clingy behaviour can be used at times to get attention and at other times

Eating ProblemsMany toddlers go through a stage when

they refuse to eat and meal times are usually accompanied by screaming, throwing of food and other disruptions. Feeding is a battleground that the toddler can try and rule and is a battle into which parents can be easily drawn, resulting in creating eating problems that can last a lifetime.

Sleeping ProblemsSleeping problems, both in getting the child to sleep

and in staying asleep may emerge for the first time during this period. Obviously, sickness and teething may throw things off and make it hard to re-establish a routine that may have existed before.

Some sleeping problems arise because children genuinely feel frightened at night when they go to bed and they also may wake up traumatized to find themselves alone and in the dark.

Parents differ significantly as to how much they mind taking their toddler into bed with them and how often they are comfortable getting up to comfort the baby. It is important that neither the child nor parents are being deprived of adequate sleep, as over time this can cause emotional distress and undermine health.

Toileting BattlesIf parents choose to try and toilet train

their toddler, battles can be fierce. Children may refuse to sit on the potty, may hold on to bowel movements until they become constipated or have accidents immediately after you take them off the toilet.

These battles happen frequently around this age, partly because the toddler years are often the height of negativism and because this is one area over which the child has a fair degree of control.