Parenting in the Digital WorldHolly GerlaSam HarrisEmily McMason 29 April 2013

What's new in 2013?

•o Pew Internet and American Life Project

• “Slut Shaming”

• Facebook pros and conso danah boyd: Is Facebook Destroying the American

College Experience?

Cell phone use by teens

Cell Phone Use By Teens

"One in four teens are “cell-mostly” internet users, who say they mostly go online using their phone and not using some other device such as a desktop or laptop computer."

"78% of teens now have a cell phone, and almost half (47%) of them own smartphones."

"23% of teens have a tablet computer, a level comparable to the general adult population."

-Pew Internet and American Life Project

Slut Shaming

• "...using photos and videos to turn a girl's private life inside out." (NPR Story)

• "...the UnSlut project reminds us that technology is not to blame for sexual shaming—our culture is. - Slate.com

• teaching kids about consent

more resources on our Gender/Social Health board

Facebook Pros and Cons

"Facebook is not itself the problem. The issue stems from how youth use Facebook and the desire that many youth have to focus on building connections to people that think like they do. ”

- danah boyd, "Is Facebook Destroying the American College Experience?"

"...millions of users of these networks have supplanted their profile pictures with that symbol to display their support and hope that the Justices will rule in favor of marriage equality."

- "Painting the Internet Pink." The New Yorker, 27 Mar. 2013

Issues/Concerns Raised in our Community

general cell phone mannerso when is it okay to be on your phone? o when is it not?

profanity and inflammatory speecho what does your language say about you?o when it goes viral and other consequenceso what does a 'like' say about you?

pornographyo why are kids looking at it?o what are they learning from it?

photo sharing: Instagram, Snapchat, etc.

What do we really mean

when we ask our kids to stop and

think about something

before they act?

A Top Ten...

List of Parenting Moments in a Digital World

...with your children. Ask them what they think are reasonable boundaries. You might be pleasantly surprised. Working with them creates buy-in and a sense of joint purpose. Once the rules are set, put them in writing.

1. Draw a line in the sand...and then sign a pre-nup.

2. Be wishy-washy.

It’s okay to change your mind. To try a set of rules and then change them. Explaining to your child why the change is happening lets them know we all learn and adapt with new information.

3. Play Your Top 40.

Over and over again. Remind kids that whatever they put out into the ether is there…forever. Even if you hit ‘delete’, it isn’t gone. Have them envision 40 people: consider how their grandparents, their teachers, the girl they have a crush on, the dean of admissions to the college of their dreams, their potential employers, never mind their parents, are going to react when they see your post.

4. The Price is Right

A $400 pencil? An $800 bracelet? Would you worry about these items getting lost, damaged or stolen?

5. On the Catwalk

Model it. Work it. Show your kids that the rules are livable. By everyone in the family.

6. Fly like an Eagle

Even when you want to be an ostrich. It is tempting to put our heads in the sand and say that kids are digital natives and are fine. Kids are also vehicular natives. Can you imagine giving your keys to an 11 year old?

7. Remember Fotomat?

Where teenage employees saw your pictures even though you were the one with the camera? The same is true today. If your child doesn’t have a device, that doesn’t mean they aren’t aware, viewing, or participating in digital behaviors that may be questionable.

8. Missing Persons

In the hours our kids are consuming media content, what aren’t they doing?

9. HDL or LDL?

Are your kids playing Minecraft or Halo 4? Are they watching Cinderella or Brave?

10. Parent, party of one.

Don’t be afraid to stand up to the pressure of your kids and your own peers and say ‘no’.

Q and A

What else is on your mind?