paradigms and principles

Summary

1 | P a g eSummary: The 7 habits of highly effective people

Written by Stephen R. Covey

Summarised by,

Snehal Singh – Overall co-ordinator

Pranay Shah – Habit one

Ashwin Shetty–Habit Two

Jitendra Shinde–Habit Three

Upendra Mehta–Habit Four

Abhishek Tawde–Habit Five

Pankaj Yelekar –Habit Six

Shaun Pradhan–Habit Seven

Batch: MMS I, 2007-08

Project: Business Communication


Presented on: 8th October, 2007

I

n his best seller book, 7 habits of highly effective people, Stephen covey has

superbly catered to the most attracting seven source of a paradigm personality

in an individual. He speaks of how to control and manage one’s own life and

become a complete person in the society, where we live. Although he does not

claim to have invented the 7 habits, he has discovered them and to has found

a simple language for articulating them. The book is designed to be a

companion in the continual process of change and growth. It is divided in four

parts starting brief explanation on the principle centered, character based,

“inside out” approach to personal and interpersonal effectiveness and moving

progressively on a maturity continuum from dependence (the paradigm of

‘You’) to independence (the paradigm of ‘I’) to interdependence (the paradigm

of ‘We’).


Part One: Paradigm and Principles


Inside-out approach

According to the author the meaning of the term paradigm, in general sense, as the way we see the world –not in terms of our visual sense of sight but in terms of perceiving, understanding, and interpreting. This explains why we see the world not as it is, but as we are or as we are conditioned to see it. The more aware we are of our basic paradigms, maps, or assumptions, and the extent to which we have been influenced by our experience, the more we can take responsibility for those paradigms, examine them, test them against reality, listen to others and be open to their perceptions, thereby getting a larger picture and a far more objective view. While a new paradigm can change the interpretation of almost everything, not all paradigms are positive. It is important for each one of us to know our own paradigm and to understand how to make a paradigm shift in our life.

after studying the success literature of over 200 years that were published in United States the author found that almost all the literature in the first 150 years or so was focused on could be called the character ethic, as the foundation of success which is based on elements like integrity, humility, fidelity, temperance, courage, justice, patience, industry, simplicity, modesty, and the golden rule. The Character ethic are basic principles of effective living and people can only experience true success and enduring happiness as they learn and integrate these principles into their basic character. He later felt that the success literature of the past 50 years was superficial, as it was filled with social image consciousness, techniques and quick fixes, i.e. success became a function of personality, public image, attitudes, behaviours, skills and techniques that lubricate the process of human interaction. This was termed as personality ethic which is based on personality growth, communication skill training, and education in the field of influence strategies and positive thinking.

Both the character and personality ethic are the examples of social paradigms. The elements of character ethnic are primary traits while that of personality ethnic are secondary traits of success. Although personality ethnic can help one pick up quick, easy techniques that work in the short term situation, but eventually if there isn’t deep integrity and fundamental character strength, the challenges of life will cause true motives to surface and human relationship failure will replace short term success. The shift from character to personality ethnic has drawn us away from the very roots that nourish true success and happiness. But whether the shift is in positive or negative direction, whether they are instantaneous or developmental, paradigms shifts move us from one way of seeing the world to another. And those shifts create powerful change because they create a lens through which we see the world. The power of a paradigm shift is the essential power of quantum change, whether that shift is an instantaneous or a slow and deliberate process. Paradigms infinitely impact


our personal and interpersonal effectiveness far more than any amount of effort expended on changing our attitudes and behaviour.

The author sees principles not as “values” but as guidelines for human conduct that are proven to have enduring and permanent value. He refers principles to natural laws are fundamental and essentially unarguable because they are self evident. The more closely our maps or paradigms are aligned with these principles or natural laws, the more accurate and functional they will be. This would lead to a principle-centered, character based approach to personal and interpersonal effectiveness. This approach is termed as “Inside-out” approach which means to start first with self; even more fundamentally, to start with the most inside part of self with your paradigms your character and your motives. Inside-out is a process-a continuing process of renewal based on the natural laws that govern human growth that leads to progressively higher forms of responsible independence and effective interdependence. According to the author the people who follow outside-in paradigm, are unhappy, immobilized and often feel victimized. They focus on the weaknesses of other people and the circumstances although they are responsible for their own stagnant situation. The inside-out is a dramatic paradigm for most people, largely because of the powerful impact of conditioning and the current social paradigm of the personality ethnic. The inside-out approach says that private victories precedes public victories, that making and keeping promises to ourselves precedes making and keeping promises to others.

Inside-out is a continuous process of renewal based on the natural laws that govern human growth and progress. It is the upward spiral growth that leads to progressively higher forms of responsible independence and effective interdependence.

Part Two: Private Victory – From Dependence to Independence

Private Victories are the essence of character growth. Private victories precede

public victories as they lead to a significant increase in self confidence, better


self understanding and inner directedness. They move from dependence to

independence. They include 3 habits which deal with self mastery.

Habit One – Be ProactivePrinciples of Personal Vision

We as human being have a very unique ability of reading one’s mind. This is

one thing that makes us stand apart from animals. And hence we have made

significant advances over generations. We as human being can think of what is

going on in our mind. This ability to read the self thought is called “Self-

Awareness”. An individual can analyze oneself but there are other aspects like

social paradigm and opinions and perceptions of others that help one individual

to judge, it is called Social Mirror. We as individual generally think as a

reflection of a thought but it is our projection. The nature of an individual

depends on three widely accepted theories of determinism- genetic, psychic

and environmental. Genetic determinism says that our nature is coded into our

DNA, and that our personality traits are inherited from our grandparents.

Psychic determinism says that upbringing determines our personal tendencies,

and that emotional pain that we felt at a young age is remembered and affects

the way we behave today. Environmental determinism states that factors in

our present environment are responsible for our situation, such as relatives,

the national economy etc. These theories of determinism each assume a model

in which the stimulus determines the response.

Proactivity is the first habit of highly effective people and is defined as merely

more than taking initiatives. Being Proactive means assessing the situation and

developing a positive response for it. It is to realize our own responsibility and

acting upon it by taking initiative. Our behavior is a function of our decisions

and not our conditions. Once we decide to be proactive, exactly where we

focus becomes important. The difference between proactive person and a

reactive person is that proactive person would act upon the external forces but

with value based approach. There are three central values in one’s life. First is

experiential where events happen to us, second is creative where we bring into

existence and the last is attitudinal where an event lifts and inspires all others.

We as an individual should take initiative that helps us to choose particular

circumstance. That leads to acting upon a situation and not to be acted upon


after be pushed. The difference in acting and to be acted upon is that in first

case one will face the reality and in the latter the idea is accepted by not

facing reality.

Listening to our language is a very important proposition as we can see

ourselves as proactive people. The people who are reactive would think

negative and answer negatively and the one who is proactive would answer in

a positive manner. For e.g.: A reactive person would say there is nothing to do.

And a proactive person would say what else I can do as alternative.

As an individual self – awareness is very important but there is one way to

judge the degree of proactivity by realizing what are the Circle of Concern and

Circle of Influence. Circle of concern is a circle of weak points which one should

find out and also the Circle of influence which is a circle of strong points in an

individual. A proactive person would work on the Circle of influence that is on

strengths and not on the areas of concern. There are certain circumstances

which are under our control where as there are some circumstances where we

as an individual cannot do anything about it. So a person who is proactive in

nature would tackle the direct and indirect problems by analyzing them and

leave the problems where the individual can’t do anything. A proactive person

would always work upon the circle of influence which is the area of strengths. A

circle of concern is always filled with Have’s and circle of influence is always

filled with Be’s. Difference between a proactive person and a reactive person is

that proactive person would always look at the other end of the stick, while the

reactive person rarely looks at the other side of the stick. Other side of the

stick means when one is acting upon something the individual has to keep the

consequences in the mind, and this is what the proactive person would do.

Habit 2: Begin with the End in MindPrinciples of Personal Leadership

Habit 2 applies to many different circumstances and levels of life. Begin with end in mind is to begin today with the image, picture, or paradigm of the end of your life as your frame of reference or the criterion by which everything else is examined. Each part of your life-today’s behaviour, tomorrow’s behaviour,


next week’s behaviour, next month’s behaviour-can be examined in the context of the whole, of what really matters most to you.

In simple words to begin with the end in mind means to start with a clear understanding of your destination. It means to know where you are going so that you better understand where you are now and so that the steps you take are always in the right direction. Habit 2 is explained in various situations.

They are stated and explained as follows.

1] All things are created twice: Begin with the end in mind is created with a principle that all things are created twice. There is a mental or first creation, and a physical or second creation to all things. Depending upon the extent to which we understand the principle of two creations and accept the responsibility of both, we act within and enlarge the borders of our Circle of Influence.

2] By design or default: It’s a principle that all things are created twice, but not all first creations are by conscious design. Whether we are aware of it or not, whether we are in control of it or not, there is a first creation to every part of our lives. We are either the second creation of our own proactive design, or we are the creation of other peoples influence in our lives.

3] Leadership and management –The two creations: Habit 2 is based on principles of personal leadership, which means that leadership is the first creation and management the second creation. Management is the bottom line, which helps in deciding the ways to best accomplish certain things while Leadership deals with the top line, which helps in deciding the things to be accomplished.

4] Rescripting- Becoming your own first creator: To become your own first creator, you need to have the quality of imagination and conscience. Imagination helps us visualise the uncreated worlds of potential that lie within us and conscience helps us connect with the universal laws or principles with our own singular talents and avenues of contribution, and with the personal guidelines within which we can most effectively develop them. Combined with self awareness these two endowments of imagination and conscience empower us to write our own script.

5] A personal mission statement: The most effective way to begin with the end in mind is to develop a personal mission statement or philosophy or creed. It focuses on what you want to be (character) and to do (contributions and achievements) and on the values or principles upon which being and doing are based. Because each individual is unique, a personal mission statement will reflect that uniqueness, both in content and form.


6] At the center: In order to write a personal mission statement, we must begin at the very center of our circle of influence which comprises of our most basic paradigms and forms the lens through which we see the world. It is here that we deal with the vision and values, detect our unique talents, area of contribution and mentally create the end we desire and achieve the greatest results. Whatever is at the center of our life will be the source of our security, guidance, wisdom, and power.

7] Alternative centers: Each of us has a centre though we usually don’t recognize it. Neither do we recognize the impact of that center on every aspect of our lives. The various centers related to our life can be: Spouse centeredness, Family centeredness, Money centeredness, Work centeredness, Pleasure centeredness, Possession centeredness, Friend /Enemy centeredness and Self centeredness.

8] Identifying your center: The best way to identify your own center is to look closely at your life support factors. More often than not, a person’s center is some combination of these and/or other centers. Depending on external or internal conditions, one particular center may be activated until the underlying needs are satisfied. Then other center becomes the compelling force. The ideal, of course, is to create one clear center from which you derive a high degree of security, guidance, wisdom and power which makes an impact on every aspect of our life.

9] A principle center: By centering our lives on correct principles, we create a solid foundation for our own overall development. Principles are some thing you can depend on as they don’t react to anything. Principles don’t die and are the deep, fundamentals and classic truths of our lives. They are tightly interwoven threads running with exactness, consistency, beauty, and strength through the fabric of life. By centering our lives on timeless, unchanging principles, we create a fundamental paradigm of effective living. It is the center that puts all other centers in perspective.

10] Writing and using a personal mission statement: As we go deeply within ourselves we understand tthe reason to align our basic paradigms with correct principles which in turn helps to create an effective and a clear lens to see the world. We can then focus that lens on how we as unique individuals relate to that world. Frank says we detect rather than invent our missions in life. Each of us has a kind of internal monitor or sense, a conscience that gives us an awareness of our own uniqueness, what we are good at and the contribution that we can make. A mission statement is not something written overnight. It takes deep introspection, careful analysis, thoughtful expression, and often many rewrites to produce it in final format.

11] Using your whole brain: A human brain is divided in two parts i.e. right hemisphere and left hemisphere. The left hemisphere is the more logical one


and the right hemisphere is the more creative one. The left deals with words and the right with pictures. The left deals with parts and specifics while the right with the wholes and the relationship between the parts. Our self awareness empowers us to examine our own thoughts. If we need to create a successful mission statement then the brain has to be used as a whole because to make a successful mission statement both the visualising and the analytical power is required. Although people use both sides of the brain, one side or the other tends to be dominant in each individual. The best is of course to use both the sides of the brain so that the person could first sense the situation and then develop an appropriate tool to deal with it.

12] Two ways to tap the right brain: the quality of our first creation is impacted by the use of the creativity of the right brain. The more you draw upon your right brain the more you visualize and synthesize which in turn gives a clear picture of what we want to do in life. The two ways are- (a) Expand perspective: Sometimes we are knocked out of our left brain environment and thought patterns and into the right brain by an unplanned experience. In such situations, one can become proactive by consciously creating perspective expanding experiences through the powers of imagination. (b) Visualisation and affirmation: Personal leadership is not a singular experience; it doesn’t begin and end with writing a personal mission statement. You need to visualize your mission, actions and the road to the mission so that it can be achieved. You should utilise your visualisation to write things in an affirmative manner. A good affirmation has five basic ingredients: its personal, its positive, its present tense, its visual and its emotional.

13] Identifying roles and goals: We have a number of roles in our life e.g. an individual, a student, a son, a husband, etc. We need to identify our own roles that we best suit in and work towards it. At the same time we also have our own goals in life that we need to achieve in due course of time. So we should first identify our roles and goals and then work towards fulfilling it.

14] Family mission statements: We all have some responsibilities towards our family. Family is something which cannot be ignored in the race of life. There must be very good or bad events happening in our own families. You need to make sure that you are not only there with your family in the good times but also at the bad times when your family needs you the most.

15] Organisation mission statements: Mission statements are also vital for successful organisations. Everyone in the organisation must participate in the meaningful manner, in developing the organisation mission statements. In an organisation many times the employee mission are different from the organisation mission. We need to make sure that the organisation and the


employee mission are in sync. This way the organisation can perform well without hampering its existence.

Habit 3: Put First Things FirstPrinciples of Personal Management

Habit 1 says “You are creator, you are in charge.” It is based on four human endowments of imagination, conscience, independent will and self awareness. Habit 2 is the first creation or mental creation. It is based on imagination – the ability to envision, to see the potential and conscience – the ability to detect our own uniqueness and the personal, moral, and ethical guidelines within which we can most happily fulfil it. Habit 3 is the second creation the physical creation. It is the fulfillment, the actualization, the natural emergence of Habits 1 and 2. It is the exercise of independent will towards becoming principle centered in our daily life.Habits 1 and 2 are absolutely essential and prerequisite to Habit 3. You cannot become principle centered without first being aware of and developing your own proactive nature. You cannot become principle centered without first being aware of your paradigms and understanding how to shift them and align them with principles. You cannot become principle centered without a vision of and focus on the unique contribution that is yours to make.

The power of independent will: In addition to self awareness, imagination, and conscience, it is the fourth human endowment- independent will – that really makes effective self management possible. The human will is an amazing thing. Time after time, it has triumphed against unbelievable odds. The Helen Keller’s of this world give dramatic evidence to the value, the power of independent will.Four generations of time management: The essence of best thinking in area of time management can be captured in a single phrase: Organize and execute around priorities.The evolution of three generations of time management theory can be explained as follows: Major development thrusts, or waves as Alvin Toffler calls them, follow each other in succession, each adding a vital new dimension. For example, in social development, the agricultural revolution was followed by industrial revolution, which was followed by information revolution. Likewise in area of time management, each generation builds on the one before it – each one moves us toward greater control of our lives. The first wave or generation could be characterized by notes and checklists, an effort to give some semblance of recognition and inclusiveness to the many demands placed on our time and energy. The second generation could be characterized by calendars and appointment books. This wave reflects an attempt to look ahead, to schedule events and activities in the future. The third generation


reflects the current time management field. It adds to those preceding generations the important idea of prioritization, of clarifying values, and of comparing the relative worth of activities based on their relationship to those values. In addition, it focuses on setting goals-specific long, intermediate, short term targets toward which time and energy would be directed in harmony, with values. While the third generation has made a significant contribution, people have begun to realize that “efficient” scheduling and control of time are often counterproductive. The efficiency focus creates expectations that clash with the opportunities to develop rich relationships, to meet human needs, and to enjoy spontaneous moments on a daily basis. Now there is emerging fourth generation that is different in kind. It recognizes that “time management” is really a misnomer- the challenge is not to manage time, but to manage ourselves.

Quadrant II: The essential focus of the fourth generation of management can be captured in the time management matrix diagrammed as follows:

Urgent Not Urgent

Important

I

ACTIVITIES:

Crises

Pressing problems

Deadline-driven projects

II

ACTIVITIES:

Prevention, PC activities, Relationship building, planning, recreation

NotImportant

III

ACTIVITIES:

Interruptions, some calls

Some mails, some reports, some meetings, Proximate, pressing matters, popular activities

IV

ACTIVITIES:

Trivia, busy work, some mail, some phone calls, time wasters, pleasant activities

Urgent matters are usually visible. They press on us; they insist on action. They are often popular with others. They are usually right in front of us. And often they are pleasant, easy, fun to do. But so often they are unimportant! Importance, on the other hand, has to do with results. If something is important, it contributes to your mission, your values, your high priority goals.


What it takes to say no: The only place to get time for Quadrant II is from Quadrants III and IV. So you should be able to say “No” to your less priority activities in Quadrant III and IV and concentrate on your Quadrant II activities.

Becoming a Quadrant II self-manager: A person can become a Quadrant II self-manager by following four key activities;

1) Identifying Roles2)Selecting Goals3)Scheduling4) Daily Adapting

Advances of Fourth Generation: The fourth generation of time management is more advanced than the third generation in five important ways;

1) its principle centered2) its conscience directed3) it defines your unique mission, including values and long term

goals4) it helps you balance your life by identifying roles5) it gives greater context through weekly organization

The practical thread running through all five of these advances is a primary focus on relationship and results, and a secondary focus on time.

Part Three: Public Victory – From Independence to Interdependence


Independence is the foundation of effective interdependence. Once the character base is build through “Private Victories” one can effectively work on the more personality oriented “Public Victories” of teamwork, cooperation, and communication in habits 4, 5, and 6.

Habit 4: Think Win/WinPrinciples of Interpersonal Leadership

Think win/win is a habit of effective interpersonal leadership. It is a philosophy of human interaction. There are six paradigms of human interactions that are discussed in brief as under: -1] Win/Win: - Win/Win is a principle of human interaction. It has its root in the mutual benefit of all the parties involved in any agreements or solutions. It lays its emphasis on co-operation rather than on competition. It believes in the principle “Plenty for everybody”.2] Win/Lose: - It is one of the alternatives to Win/Win. It is a mentality dysfunctional to cooperation and is the authoritarian approach in leadership style. People of this mentality have the approach to achieve success (win) at the expense of success of others. Such people use position, power, possessions, credentials or personality to succeed. Family, Peer groups, Academic world, Athletics, Law are the powerful agents of this mentality.3] Lose/Win: - This mentality is based on the approach of letting others succeed at the cost of one's own success. Lose/Win lacks demand, expectations, vision, standards and hence is worse than Win/Lose. People of this mentality lack the courage to express their own beliefs, convictions and usually seek strength from popularity or acceptance. In leadership styles these people arepermissive while in negotiations they are capitulating. Since these people suppress their feelings in the short run they are more likely to be prone to psychosomatic illnesses in the long run. This affects the quality of self-esteem and the quality of their relationships with others.4] Lose/Lose: - It is the philosophy of war or adversarial conflict. People having this mentality are obsessed with the behavior of other person to a very high extent. In this process the only aim is the other person’s loss/failure even if they lose themselves in this conflict. Generally when two Win/Lose people interact with each other the result is Lose/Lose. 5] Win: - This is another common alternative especially characterized by absence of competition. People with the Win mentality are concerned only with their own achievements. Others success or failure counts little for them.

Choosing the Best Alternative:- The rational question is selection of the most effective alternative of the discussed above. The ideal solution would be to choose the one depending upon the situation.

The Sixth Paradigm:- Win/Win or NO DealIt is a higher expression of Win/Win. When there is no synergistic solution for a deal i.e. the deal does not give benefit to both the parties it is better to have an agreed disagreement- ‘NO DEAL’. In NO DEAL neither of the parties has to compromise. Hence all the parties to the issues feel open and liberated.


Five Dimensions of Win/Win:- The principle of Win/Win is at the root of success in all our interactions. It covers five interdependent dimensions of life. Beginning with character it moves towards relationships and as a result agreements emerge. Structure and systems are based on Win/Win. The five dimensions are discussed in brief as under:-

1) Character: - The aggregate of features and traits that form the individual nature of some person or thing. It is the moral or ethical quality of a man. There are three character traits that are essential to Win/Win Paradigm as follows: -

a) Integrity: - It is the value we place on ourselves. Identification of this value clearly and proactively and executing it effectively develops self-awareness and independent will by making and keeping commitments.

b) Maturity:-It is the balance between courage and consideration and hence is fundamental to win/win. A person is said to be mature if he is able to express his feelings with courage and at the same time has a consideration for the feelings of the other person.

c) Abundance Mentality: - This character traits believes that there are plenty opportunities for positive growth and development. It results in sharing of prestige of recognition of profits and decision-making.

2) Relationships:- Win/Win Relationships are built and maintained on the foundation of character .The essence of Win/Win is trust-The Emotional Bank Account.When all the parties involved have high levels of commitments and trust towards the problem to be solved then it is the most ideal situation for Win/Win.

3) Agreements:- Agreements result from relationships. They give a meaning and a direction to Win/Win. They are usually referred to as “Performance Agreements” or “Partnership Agreements”. There are five elements in the Win/Win Agreement:

a) Desired results.b) Guidelines.c) Resources.d) Accountability.e) Consequences.

4) Systems:- For the principle of Win/Win to operate, the various systems functioning in an entity should be supportive. There should be presence of co-operation rather than competition. Only then the principle of


Character

Relationships Agreements

Supportive Systems (4) & Processes (5)

2 1 3

Win/Win would be nurtured. The training system, budgeting system, planning system, information system, compensation system should be based on the principle of Win/Win.

5) Processes: - The following are the four steps involved in the process of seeking Win/Win;

a) Empathize b) Identify Key issues and concerns.c) Determination of results that would comprise a fully acceptable

solution.d) Identify possible new options to achieve those results. Win/Win solutions can only be achieved with Win/Win processes.

Thus, Win/Win is a comprehensive process emerging from character growing out of relationships embodied in agreements thriving on supportive systems and achieved through processes.

Habit 5: Seek first to Understand, then to be UnderstoodPrinciples of Empathic Communication

The fifth habit is – Seek first to understand. What the most people do, naturally, when involved in some type of discussion, meeting or dialog is exactly the reverse – they seek first o understood. And as, Stephen Covey says, when both parties are trying to be understood, neither party is really listening; he calls such an interaction, ‘the dialog of the deaf’. This habit is an important key to inter-personnel relationships and it seems to be almost magical in its ability to transform the course of discussions. Because by making the investment of time and effort required to understand the other party, the dynamics of the interchange are subtly affected.Sometimes people have tendency to rush in, to fix things up with good advice. But they often fail to take the time to diagnose, to really, deeply understand the problem first. So the key to Effective interpersonal communication would be this: Seek first to understand then to be understood.

Character & Communication: Communication is the most important skill in life. We spent most of our waking hours communicating. We all spent years learning how to read, write, and speak. But unfortunately our education system gives emphasis to skills that enables you to listen so that you really, deeply understand another human being from that individual’s own frame of reference. To be effective in the habit of interpersonal communication, one has to build the skills of empathic listening on a base of character that inspires openness and trust along the ability to build the Emotional Bank Accounts that create commerce between hearts.

Empathic Listening: “Seek first to understand” involves a very deep shift in paradigm. We typically seek first to be understood. Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. They’re either speaking or preparing to speak. They’re filtering everything through


their own paradigms, reading their autobiography into other people’s lives. Empathic listening means listening with intent to understand. It means gets inside another person’s frame of reference. The essence of empathic listening is not that you agree with someone; it’s that you fully, deeply, understand that person, emotionally as well as intellectually. Empathic listening involves much more than registering, reflecting, or even understanding the words that are said. In empathic listening, you listen with your ears, but you also and more importantly, listen with your eyes and with your heart. You listen for feeling, for meaning and for behaviour. When you listen with empathy to another person, you give that person psychological air. And after that vital need is met, you can then focus on influencing and problem solving. This need for psychological air impacts communication in every area of life.

4 autobiographical responses: Because we listen autobiographically, we tend to respond in one of four ways. We evaluate- we either agree or disagree; we probe- we ask questions from our own frame of reference; we advise- we give counsel based on our own experience, or we interrupt- we try to figure out people, to explain their motives, their behaviour, based on our own motives and behaviour. These responses come naturally to us. We are deeply scripted in them; we lived around models of them all the time. But they do not really help us to understand other person. People want to be understood. And whatever investment of time it takes to do that will bring much greater returns of time as u work from an accurate understanding of the problems and issues and the high Emotional Bank Account that results when a person feels deeply understood.

Understanding and Perception: As you learn to listen deeply to other people, you will discover tremendous differences in perception. You will also begin t appreciate the impact that these differences can have as people try to work together in interdependent situations. Habit 5 is the first step in the process of Win/Win solutions i.e. even if the other person is not coming from that paradigm, seek first to understand.

Then seek to be understood: The other part of the habit 5 is to be understood, and is equally critical in reaching Win/Win solutions. We defined maturity as the balance between courage and consideration. Seeking to understand requires consideration; seeking to be understood takes courage. So it becomes important in interdependent situations for us to be understood. On understanding this habit, you can present your own ideas clearly, specifically, visually, and most important, contextually-in the context of deep understanding of their paradigms and concerns-you significantly increase credibility of your own ideas.


Habit 6: SynergisePrinciples of Creative Cooperation

Synergy is the essence of principle-centered leadership. It catalyzes and unleashes the greatest power within people. Simply defined, it means that the whole is greater than sum of its parts. Synergy is everywhere in nature. The essence of synergy is to value differences-to respect them, to build on strengths, to compensate for weakness.

Synergistic Communication: Many people have not really experienced even a moderate degree of synergy in their family life or in other interaction. They have been addicted to defensive communication and never really open their ideas, so much of their potential remain untapped, unused. They experience the synergy only in small ways in their lives. They may have the memories of some unusual creative experiences where they have achieved something in co-operation with others. But all these things are unusual and they need to experience it almost regularly. It requires enormous personal security, openness and spirit of adventure.

Synergy in the classroom: Synergy tests whether teacher and students are really open to the principle of the whole is greater than sum of its parts. In many times both teacher and student do not know what is going to happen. In beginning there is safe environment in which all of these share their ideas, they open to creative and absolutely unusual phenomenon and entire class transformed with new trust, new ideas, new direction. Synergy is almost as if the group collectively agrees to subordinate old scripts and to write a new one.

Synergy & Communication: The lowest level of communication coming out of low trust situation might be because of defensive, protective approach. Such communication produces only win/lose or lose/win. It is not effective, it creates further reasons to defend or protect. The middle position is respectful communication where mature people interact; they show respect for each other, they don’t want to face confrontation so they avoid it. So they communicate politely but not empathetically and it leads to compromise. The synergistic position of high trust produces solution better than any originally proposed. They genuinely enjoy the creative enterprise. They always look for win/win. There are some circumstances in which synergy may not be achieved but spirit of sincere trying will result in more effective compromise.

Negative Synergy: Some people may talk win/win technique but they do not really want to listen, they want to manipulate. Synergy cannot thrive in such environment. They do not realize that the very strength of relationship is in having in another’s point of view. The essence of synergy is to value the difference.


Valuing the differences: It is the essence of synergy. The mental, the emotional, the psychological differences between the people and the key to valuing the differences is to realize that all people see the world, not as it is, but as they are. Unless we value the differences we will never be able to transcend limit and look for synergy.

Forced field analysis: Let’s take an example here. If you have certain climate in your home, certain level of positive and negative interaction, of feeling safe or unsafe, respect or disrespect in communication in family member. Now, you may want to create positive climate, more open trusting. Some forces are driving you to do this. Increasing forces may give the result for a while but as long as the restraining forces are there it becomes harder. The resulting up and down cause you feel that it is too difficult to change. But when you introduce the synergy then you may create the atmosphere to talk about these forces. You create new insights that transform those restraining forces to driving forces resulting into positive atmosphere.

Part Four: Renewal – Continuous Improvement Process

Habit 7: Sharpen the SawPrinciples of Balanced Self-Renewal

Habit 7 is the habit of renewal-a regular, balanced renewal of the four basic dimensions of life. It circles and embodies all the other habits. It is the habit of continuous improvements that creates the upward spiral of growth that lifts you to new levels of understanding and living each of the habits as you come around them on a progressively higher plane. It is taking time to sharpen the saw. It surrounds the other habits on the seven habits paradigm because it is the habit that makes all the others possible.

Four Dimensions of Renewal: Habit 7 is personal PC (productivity capability). It’s preserving and enhancing the greatest assets you have-you; and renewing


the 4 dimensions of nature.The 4 dimension are:1) The Physical Dimension: It involves caring effectively for our physical body-eating right kind of foods, getting sufficient rest and relaxation, and exercise on regular basis.

2) The Spiritual Dimension: Renewing the spiritual dimension provides leadership to your life. Its highly related to Habit 2.The spiritual dimension is your core, your center, your commitment to your value system. It’s a very private area of life and a supremely important one.

3) The Mental Dimension: Most of our mental development and study discipline comes through formal education. To increase the mental dimension we should read quality literature, such as the great books, the Harvard classic, autobiographies, national geography and other publications that expand our culture awareness and current literature in various fields.

4) The Social/Emotional Dimension: While the physical, mental, spiritual dimension are closely related to Habit 1, 2, and 3-centered on then principles of personal vision, leadership and management. The social/emotional dimension focuses on Habit 4, 5 and 6- centered on the principles of interpersonal leadership, emphatic communication and creative cooperation. Success of Habit 4, 5, 6 is not primarily a matter of intellect; it’s primarily a matter of emotion. It’s really related to our sense of personal security.

Scripting others: Scripting other is totally based on the perceptions and the paradigms of the people.

Balance in Renewal: The self-renewal process must include balanced renewal in all four dimension of our nature. Although renewal in each dimension is important, it only become optimally effective as we deal with all four dimensions in a wise and balanced way.

Synergy in Renewal: Balanced renewal is optimally synergetic. The things you to do sharpen the saw in any one dimension have positive impact in other dimension. E.g. Physical health affects your mental health; spiritual strength affects your social/emotional strength. As you improve in one dimension you will improve in other dimension as well.

The Upward spiral: Renewal is the process that empowers us to move on an upward spiral of growth and change, of continuous improvements. In order to grow and develop in this upward spiralwe must show diligence in the process of renewal by educating and obeying our conscience. An increasingly conscience will propel us along with the path of personal freedom, security, wisdom, and power. Moving along the upward spiral requires us to learn, commit, do on increasingly high planes and progressively repeat the process.


paradigms and principles

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