pain-suffering and faith - pain is inevitable, suffering is a choice

Reflections on a Spiritual Journey : Excerpts from a Personal Journal

© Peter Creagh ( 2010) Heartsease Training & Counselling , Shifnal, Shropshire, UK

PAIN - SUFFERING AND FAITH

The following reflections on pain and suffering come out of some recent reflections that my wife Angela and I have been making. These are informed both by our recollections of a Day of Reflection on this topic, which was held many years ago in Wolverhampton and led by Sister Ishpriya and also from our own personal lived experience.

Pain is inevitable, suffering can be optional’ Buddhist saying

There is a difference between pain and suffering. This is a difference that, so often, we can fail to discern or understand. We are born in pain, experience it throughout life and death itself is often painful, either physically, emotionally or spiritually. Childbirth itself is a painful experience, both for the mother and the child. Life throws up challenges and situations that bring pain. The Buddha is attributed with the saying ‘Pain is inevitable, suffering can be optional’ These short reflections are influenced by a seminar on Pain and Suffering given by Ishpriya Mataji and my own reflections and preparation for a series of Lenten Lectures, delivered by Angela my wife and I on this topic. So I start these reflections from the perspective of Lent – a Christian Season designed as a 40 day period of reflection in preparation for Easter.

For Christians, Lent is a time prepare for the great feast of Easter and to reflect on the journey Jesus the Christ took during those last hours before his Passion – Death and Resurrection. One aspect of this journey is His suffering and how His death and resurrection brings meaning to this suffering. Now human suffering is universal and complex and it has many causes or roots. Some of these are nature itself, the physical, psychological and spiritual abuse that we visit upon ourselves and upon others and that still leaves many questions unanswered.

However, suffering has an element of choice to it. It is our ‘response to the pain’ We cannot escape pain – the pain of losing a loved one, a child or our faculties as we grow older but we have choice in our response to it let’s look at two examples The first example comes from the great Austrian Psychologist Viktor Frankl and the second from the pain and suffering of a mother whose child died very young.



‘Despair is suffering without meaning’ – When we can find meaning in our suffering there is no despair. ‘

(See Frankl Ma’s Search for Meaning p 132-133) Frankl recounts working with an elderly man who had been married 45 years and had lost his wife several years ago . He was in great emotional pain and suffering. He had seen many psychiatrists and counsellors but was desolate. After a while Frankl asked him ‘ Now that you know the great pain and desolation you suffer from the loss of your dear wife. How do you feel she may have felt had you died first ? Without pausing he immediately shouted back to Frankl ‘ I am glad she did not because I would never want her to suffer like I am’ . Frankl responded ‘ So your pain , dreadful though it has been, has saved your wife from similar suffering .After that session, the man began to ‘recover’ he still felt the pain of losing his wife but in finding meaning to his suffering his desolation began to be healed by his consolation. Another example is when a mother who has lost a child can find some meaning. Take Anthony Nolan , who died because he could not be found a bone marrow transplant. His mother went on to found the ANTHONY NOLAN TRUST with the largest data base of bone-marrow donors. This foundation has assisted countless people and has saved lives. Now, I am not suggesting that loss is easy but that finding meaning in the pain can begin to ease the suffering. The pain of the loss may or may not remain. What changes is the choices we make through finding meaning and this leads to less suffering. Somehow our desolation is eased and we find consolation and this begins to make sense of the quotation from Frankl above. Throughout history, in all cultures and Faith Traditions, people have questioned the why and how of pain and suffering. The reasons for and causes and meaning of, suffering is for most, a difficult issue and there are no easy or ready answers. Some of our difficulty could be caused by our, all too human, tendency to search for ‘sense’ but to paraphrase Frankl ‘If we seek sense we often find non-sense. It is much better to seek meaning’. Perhaps this search for meaning can only begin when we take up our responsibility for our life and its choices. Doing this could lead us on to face one area of suffering where we have a direct input and direct responsibility .and this is the whole area of ‘man’s inhumanity to man’. If we were to look at this, we could argue that suffering seems to be increasing in our world and much of that is due to our choices. It can be caused by our own violence; violence towards ourselves, others and our World. We need to face the responsibility of our own choices in order to identify the suffering caused by OUR choices.



As a Human Family, our wars are more violent, our abuse of the world and its environment is growing and we are perhaps beginning to reap a ‘harvest of storms’ In the past 100 years we have had several major wars, numerous other wars, episodes, still continuing, of ethnic cleansing, famines induced by war, countless examples of trafficking peoples, slavery, addictions, aggression and, particularly in the Western world, a growing epidemic of depression I find the following quotation from Frankl very helpful. ‘God is the partner of our most intimate soliloquies. That is to say, whenever you are talking to yourself in utmost sincerity and ultimate solitude – he to whom you are addressing yourself may justifiably be called God ‘ Viktor Frankl (aged 15)

Arguably, one of the worst episodes of man’s inhumanity towards man is the Nazi Holocaust of the 2nd world war. A war that caused so much suffering and one whose impact continues to influence events, particularly in the Middle East, where it has exacerbated the conflict between Jew and Muslim and thus influenced the tension between Islam and the West. The Holocaust is often used to argue the futility

of Faith and Religion in the face of suffering. However, a blind belief in a God who can somehow shield us from pain and suffering is both dangerous and false. It can be part of our tendency to design, build and believe in a ‘Household God’ ( see my article on this). This brings me back to Frankl , and particularly some reflections he made about Faith and suffering. One of the greatest psychologists of the 20th Century was Viktor Frankl, a Jew from Vienna. He survived four concentration camps, including Auschwitz. The following is an extract from his book ‘Man’s Search for Ultimate Meaning’ He argues about the real meaning of faith and belief in God, a belief which he argues that cannot ‘be imposed’ on people and reflects of the impact of the Holocaust. He first outlines his understanding of belief and faith and then, drawing on his professional and personal life, he addresses how faith responds to suffering – and particularly the suffering Auschwitz. This is an extensive quotation but an extremely important one. It comes out of the lived experience of one who suffered and yet transcended his suffering to find meaning in and through it. Children Released by Red Army



‘Just believe’ we are told ‘and everything will be OK’. But alas, not only is this order based on a distortion of any sound concept of a Deity, but even more important it is doomed to failure. Obviously there are certain activities that simply cannot be commanded, demanded or ordered. You cannot order anyone to laugh – if you want him to laugh, you must tell him a joke. And if you want people to have faith and belief in God, you cannot rely on preaching along the lines of a particular church, but must, in the first place, portray your God believably – and you must act credibly yourself. ………………………………………… He continues Religion did not even die at Auschwitz, nor “after Auschwitz”, to allude to the title of a book that was authored by a rabbi (who incidentally had not been there). I personally think that either belief in God is unconditional or it is not belief at all. If it is unconditional it will stand and face the fact that six million died in the Nazi Holocaust, if it is not unconditional it will fall away if only a single innocent child has to die – to resort to an argument advanced by Dostoyevsky. The truth is that among those who actually went through the experience of Auschwitz, the number of those whose religious life was deepened- in spite, not to say because, of this experience- by far exceeded the number of those who gave up their belief. To paraphrase what was once said about the effect that separation has on love, one might say that just as the small fire is extinguished by the storm while a large fire is enhanced by it- likewise a weak faith is weakened by predicaments and catastrophes whereas a strong faith is strengthened by them Now Frankl was an Austrian Jew. He came from a Tradition that not only has suffered much but also has ‘struggled’ with the concept of suffering and how this impacts on their relationship (Covenant) with God. Whereas, I , an Irish Catholic, come from a Celtic Culture which respects and honours death and whose people also have suffered , albeit not as much as the Jews. Thus I feel that Frankl’s words could be helpful to peoples of different Faith Traditions or none. Because, they come from a lived experience of suffering – a suffering caused by one of the greatest acts of man’s in humanity to man. Yet Frankl, like Nelson Mandela and Mahatma Gandhi, could rise above his culture, ethnicity and religion, and reach out with compassion, forgiveness and understanding to their oppressors. Frankl seems to be challenging much of the recent stance of the mainstream religions. This is a stance that seems to have a narrow focus on their own ‘beliefs’, structure and organisation. Now if that is all it meant, then that would not be too bad. However, history shows us how dangerous such a narrow view can have.



Many Atheists argue that the suffering caused by religion is in itself an argument against believing in the existence of a God. Arguably, the Holocaust was an inevitable outcome of the many, many centuries of Christian teaching and enmity against the Jews. This led to pogroms, ghettoes and eventually to the Gas Chambers. In a sense the Christian West bears much responsibility for the suffering caused to the Jews. This was a suffering that could have been avoided and it merely mirrors and reflects the continuing suffering caused by needless and prejudiced inter-faith disputes. Frankl is right, when he challenges the way so many Christians, and other religions, focus so narrowly on their own denomination. However, whether a Theist or an Atheist, we need to avoid any tendency to over-simplification. We have to willingly face our own inadequacies and take responsibility for our actions, choices and behaviours that cause much of the pain and suffering in our world. Whether we are believers or not, placing the responsibility or blame on a @God’ or a ‘false belief in a God’ is too simplistic. We all need to take responsibility, respect each other and learn to live on this shared planet. A Blue Planet that is like a ship in the vast ocean of the cosmos. We need to find meaning and compassion. As we search for meaning, the difference between SYMPATHY and EMPATHY becomes crucial. We live in a world where people can often be very quick to offer their sympathy. But sympathy lacks a certain power, a certain authenticity. Empathy and compassion can help us, not only to find meaning, but to reduce the violence and suffering in our world. When we are really down and out and suffering we require much more than sympathy. What is needed is a sense of empowering compassion, a sense of knowing that the other, somehow not only shares our burden but can really be with us. Be ‘in our shoes’ so to speak. Empathy is this . It is the ability to be with or beside the one who suffers. Somehow it shows in our ability to really understand and supportively share another’s burden. Empathy comes from a deep understanding of the other and out of a sense of our mutual inter-dependence. It springs from love and a genuine desire to help and support the other. It is compassionate, helpful and supportive. Empathy requires us to first find meaning in our own lives before we can reach out to others. This is best illustrated by the following story.



This is a story about Yehuda Bacon a famous Jewish Sculptor. As a boy, Yehuda suffered in the Concentration Camps. He was an inmate and survivor of Auschwitz After the War, he wrote about his time in Auschwitz and his experiences there. Here is an important and brief extract where he tells of an important insight he had about finding meaning in his suffering.. ‘As a boy I thought : ‘ I will tell them about what I saw in the hope that people will change for the better’ But people did not change and didn’t even want to know ! It was much later that I really understood the meaning of suffering. It can only have meaning if it changes oneself for the better’ For me, this brings me back to the essential message of Jesus the Christ, the Master I try to follow. Like many other great Teachers, he taught by his example and for Christians He embodies, and is, God’s example to us on how to live a compassionate life .He had a breath of vision as wide as his compassionate heart. He reached out to all, regardless of gender, class, position or religion. Sadly, over the past two millennia, so many of his followers have failed to follow this example. So Lent continues to provide us with the opportunity to ‘repent’ – to turn around and change and begin to play our part towards ‘building a planetary vision and a universal heart’ and thus reducing suffering in our world. Seeking Together – Helping to Create – A Planetary Vision – A Universal Heart of Compassion.

Peter Creagh (2010)

pain-suffering and faith - pain is inevitable, suffering is a choice

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