Sports:W omen’s cross country takes conference title

I n sid e T his I ssu e"Cbssical" grouping is insulting

page 8 | page 2

The public is fed up with politicians^—-*-.b y D a v e B a rry page 6

T he L a w r entianVol. CVIII, No.< LAWRENCE UNIVERSITY’S STUDENT NEWSPAPER Friday N ov.9, 1990

Renamed committee to handle parking lotteryBy Gordon A. Martinez

The newly renamed Resi­dentia l Life Com m ittee, fo rm erly th e H ousing Committee, has been given the added responsibility of conducting the park ing lottery for student parking spots.

The change in the by-laws came in wake of the u n i­versity’s takeover of re ­sponsib ility for park ing from the Lawrence Univer­sity Community Council.

At M onday’s meeting, Mike O lson, A ss is ta n t Dean of Students for Resi­

dential Life, said th a t he didn’t think the committee should have to conduct both the housing and park­ing lotteries.

“Consider fall term that there is no housing com­m ittee. There are some holdovers, bu t its hard to rally people to do the lot­tery.

“Third term, we’re getting into the m idst of the hous­ing lottery and to have an ­o ther burden is problem ­atic."

Olson suggested tha t re­sponsibility for the park ­ing lottery fall on another committee suggesting the Welfare Com m ittee with

Olson serving as advisor for the lottery.

Faculty representative Michael LaMarca said, “I favor the motion because the Residential Life Com­mittee has an institutional memory it can draw from.

“I think its a logical move and once Mr. Olson be­comes more familiar with the responsib ilities, he won’t find it so onorous."

With discussion stopped, the council voted to add the responsibility of the park ­ing lottery to the Residen­tial Life Committee.

In other business:- Treasurer Brian Huglen

See LUCC Page 4

A look at radio

Dick KnapinskiKnapinski to promote programming improvementBy Gordon A. Martinez

Dick Knapinski has expe­rience in radio who wants to share th a t knowledge with those s tu d en ts who w ant to get involved in WLFM.

Knapinski, whose job at WLFM is to host from 7 to 8 p .m . on w e e k d a y s , “Conversations with Dick

K napinski," w orked for nine years at WNBI in Park Falls where he was pro­gram director and sports director.

The last two years, Knap­inski was news and sports d ire c to r a t WMGU in Stevens Point.

W hen not working for WLFM, he is a sports corre­spondent with the Post- Crescent .

K napinski’s reaction to the WLFM controversy was that students didn’t under­s tan d more th an d isap ­prove of the move.

“Most of the s tu d en ts didn’t know what was go­ing on. The hours are less, but a lot are still there.

“If any student wants to be involved, they can."

K napinsk i w an ts to change the expectations of w hat having a show on WLFM is all about.

“The rules are different. I'm going to make everyone accountable for their pro­gram . A ccoun tab le for what’s done on the show.

“Radio is not a Jukebox. If someone wants to do a m u­sic show and if they know the background of the m u­sic. if they talk about the a rtis ts and they have a show th a t’s as good as it

Based out of Oaxaca, Mexico, the music group Canto Nuevo played three three shows on their first trip to the United States. Professor Hans Ternes helped get the group to perform here.

WPR tries to clear up musical classificationBy Chris Mueller

A memo released by Jack Mitchell, director of pro­gram m ing at W isconsin Public Radio, attem pted to clear up the controversy over Greg S c h n irr in g ’s provocative “S oun d track of Our Lives Concept."See WPR, Page 8

T r iv ia contest given go ahead for January ’91By Mike Spofford

After WLFM was taken over by W isconsin Public Radio, m any q u estio n s arose as to what kinds of s tu d en t radio program s would be done away with. One of those in question was the annual Midwest

Recycling program to begin with plain paper winter term

See KNAPINSKI* Page 5 See TRIVIA, Page 5

By Kerri Hurlebaus

In 1995, recycling laws will go into affect for Wis­consin m aking the recy­cling of glass, paper and a lu m in u m p r o d u c t s m andatory.

Lawrence, however, is starting now in response to s tu d en t concerns for a cam pus wide recycling pro­gram.

Phase one, taking effect next term , allows for the recycling of ordinary office paper with each additional phase introducing a new product.

Chris Naumann, a student m em ber of the recycling task force which submitted a rep o rt to P res id en t R ichard W arch about a m onth ago, said , “T his way, everyone will be used to recycling products by the time the state laws go into effect and we’ll be ahead of the game."

The task force, which in­cludes both s tu d en t and facu lty m em b ers, w as estab lished la s t year to work tow ard getting the

program started.The work for the program

will be divided betw een s tu d e n ts and Physical P lant.

Students, in conjunction with C rane House and Greenfire, will collect p a ­per, glass and alum inum products on a volunteer ba­sis.

“But our m anpow er is low," said Libby Kurten, a volunteer from the Crane House.

In the beginning, the pro­ceeds from the recycled goods will cover the s ta r t­up costs. Once those are covered, the money will go

toward the purchase of per­m anent recycling bins.

The report for a university recy c lin g p ro g ram is aw aiting reactio n from President Warch.

“There’s no reason why it sh o u ld n ’t be finalized," said Naumann.

“If President Warch says it goes, it goes."

According to Naum ann, there are some final details to be worked out.

Canto Nuevo

Opinion Friday November 9, 1990 Page 2

From The Editor's Desk

A look at th e end o f th is term 's paper run

Things are tough for everyone when It comes to student budget funds and Ihe newspaper is no exception.

This is the final Issue of the term for The Lawrentian due to budget considerations and other factors. Though cutting an issue is not the most desirable way to save money, there aren't many other choices.

This should signal to everyone. Even an organization like The iMivrentlan, which works hard for its advertising revenue, cannot make it through an entire run indicates that maybe more funding should be forthcoming to student organizations.

It Is definitely not LUCC's fault. They lobbied hard last fall for more money for student groups. The $150,000 in requests from student groups last spring was bare bones operating ox|H»nses. Yet, only $ 7 7 , 5 0 0 comes down the pipe.

It can \ye repeated, things are tough all over, but if students are motivated enough to do an activity, they should be funded as well as possible.

Maybe the university's discretionary budget isn't that large and student groups don't receive as high a consideration as other items. That, however shouldn’t be the case.

Student organizations provide an outlet for students outside of the classroom. They are just as essential to a student’s experience as what is done in the classroom. Therefore, they should be given as high a consideration as other discretionary budget expenses.

Otherwise. Lawrence’s aim of producing well rounded students won’t be fulfilled. Why? Because there is more to life than studying in the library or practicing in the practice room. Where else, if not student organizations, will students learn

leadership and other skills necessary for that big Jump into the “real world." They are as important as any university or conservatory class and should be funded as such.

Now. a review of the newspaper’s run this term.It may not have always been pretty or award-winning, but this

fall's run of The Lawrentian was. to say the least, interesting.In a first go at running this newspaper, a young editor sees the

big picture clearly.| As one who has mostly done writing and with some previous editing experience, this editor had to face some selfish people who wanted to use the newspaper for their own aims without showing regard for good journalism or the philosophy of a college newspaper, people who are convinced the press should stay out of everyone’s lives, and those who wanted only the l*>sltive without regard for the truth.But only a few.I thank those that I have dealt with for their understanding

and patience who were willing to sit down with members of the stafT and let them do what they are asked to do: Tell the story as accurately and as completely as possible.

Back to you Tom. _ Gordon A. M a r tin e z

The Lawrentian, USPS 306-680. is published weekly, twenty-five tim es a year while classes are in session and is distrib­uted free of charge to students, faculty, and stafT on the Lawrence University cam pus. Subscription is S I 6 a year. Second class postage paid at Appleton, Wisconsin. POSTMASTER: send address changcs to The Lawrentian, IH3 Box 599, Appleton,WI 54912.

Editorial policy is determ ined by the editor. Any opinions which appear unsigned are those of the editor, not necessarily of The L aw rentians staff.

le tte rs to the editor are welcome and encouraged. No letter can be printed un less it is less than 350 words and legibly signed by the author. Names may be held upon request. The editor reserves the right to edit for style and spacc. Letters m ust be subm itted by 5 p.m. W ednesdays to the Information desk or mailed to the above address.

Editor......................................................................................Gordon MartinezA ssistant Editor..................................................................... Kristin MekeelEntertainm ent Editor............................................................ Chris MuellerPhoto Editor..............................................................................Dan MarshallProduction Editor........................................................................ Laura WakeFeatures Editor................................................................... ....... Dave KueterAdvertising Manager................................................... Jonathsn FergusonBusiness Manager......................................................................Carol HarperCirculation Manager.............................................................Martin BuergerSports Editor.......................................................................... J red AndersenT ypesetters............................................... Sarah Ritter and Bonnie WardPhoto staff....................................................................................... Nate Hagee

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• mt THE MIDDLE CLASS FEEL THAT THEY'RE BETTER OFF THAN YOU'

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Why LU didn’t make ‘The List”To the E d ito r

TOP TEN REASONS LAWRENCE DIDNT MAKE THE U.S. NEWS AND WORLD REPORT TOP TEN SMALL LIBERAL ARTS COLLEGES LIST:10) We don’t have a crew team, only a crew club. (It’s th e Image th in g , you know.)

9) They m istook townies for Lawrentians.8) We did not meet the q u o ta for s u n ta n n e d , scantily-clad babes with California accents.7) Somebody told them , “W ater my log!’*6) They felt our use of the p h ra se “The Nipple of Knowledge" was less than respectful.5) They thought Lawrence was being too commercial by naming one hall after a toilet m an u fac tu re r and ano ther after a m ajor TV news anchor.4) The school paper had too many ytpos.

3) 70% of all Lawrence graduates are working at a mall near you.2) The most famous person to come out of Lawrence was Jeffery Jones ... And who the hell is he any­way?!1) They said our President was, quote. “Goofy Look­ing”. (But hey, relax! ... It’s nothing that a couple thou­sand dollars wouldn’t have solved.)

Respectfully Yours,

- The Mystic Order of Arachnid Vigilance

Classical can 't be classifiedBy C hris Mueller

In an article in the Friday, October 26. 1990 issue of the Wisconsin State Jour­nal, colum nist Pat Simms discussed a new plan by Wisconsin Public Radio a s­so c ia te d ire c to r Greg Schnirring to make classi­cal music, as Simms put it, “user-friendly."

Not only does Schnirring w ant to eradicate the an ­n o u n c in g of w o rd s , phrases, and texts not in English and the use of com posers’ first nam es, bu t he also wants to divide classical m usic into four categories: upbeat, relax­ing, d isturb ing , and de­pressing.

According to Schnirring, only the upbeat and relax­ing pieces would be played which would m ean th a t m any pieces would be played w ithout all the ir m ovements.

Schnirring felt tha t dis­turbing or depressing m u­

sic h as no place in the daily w orkday ro u tin e ca llin g th is the “The Soundtrack of Our Lives Concept."

Not only does th is pro­posal insult the listeners of W P R by assum ing the ir m usical illiteracy, b u t it also insu lts the m usic it­self by a ssu m in g th a t pieces are not the sum of their parts, bu t ra ther col­le c tio n s of u n re la te d movements of varying de­grees of acceptability to the listener.

This proposal also insults m u s ic ian s by a sse rtin g that the music they play is merely a backdrop against which the im portant activ­ities of the day are set.

These suppositions are false, and indeed heresy to all music-lovers. Classical music is by its very naturecomplex, and by a ttem pt­ing to dilute or detoxify it for the sake of those who merely w ant background music for their daily activ­ities is a sham e and a

crime.Classical pieces are meant

as complete works, to be played in their entireties, and certa in ly the com ­posers’ full nam es may be pronounced with titles in their correct languages!

The new memo which WPR has released does pre­cious little to clear up m at­ters.

It states that WPR is con­sidering a centrally con­trolled system and th a t WPR’s approach needs to be rethought, bu t it gives no reasons for these things. Have listeners been com­plaining about the general format? Why need they fix what works well? “The al­ternative ... is to keep the present system bu t to de­velop clearer policies on what is expected."

W hat is expected of w hom ? The p ro g ra m ­m ers)? The announcers? I fail to understand what ne­cessitates the problem over which th ey are rum inating See CLASSIFICATION,Page 5

Opinion Friday November 9, 1990 Page 3

Laing reports from NicaraguaBy Christopher J . Laing

(Editor’s Note: The following is an excerpt of Laing’s newsletter published in Nicaragua.)

It is clear that all of this appears to us to be insane. But what is not insane these days in Nicaragua? What has happened economically has turned the country into an insane asylum, where upon getting up in the morning we don’t know if we should cry, laugh, mn wildly, or go out into the street and have a shoot­out with the first guy that gives us a bad look.

Just because Nicaragua has been given “fledgling democracy" status and has disappeared from the spot­light doesn’t mean that things are better for Nicaraguans these days, as noted in the above excerpt from an editorial.

The runaway inflation, with scheduled devaluations every Monday; the existence of two national currencies, three with the US dollar: the politics

of revenge and favoritism; the abominable conditions of hospitals and health centers: and the official blessing of the Catholic Church hierarchy on the new government all combine to create a desperate situation, one which leaves many Nicaraguans asking themselves, “Why did 1 vote for UNO?"

THE ELECTIONS On Feb. 21, the Sandinista

Front for National Liberation (FSLN) closed its national campaign with a massive gathering on the Plaza of the Revolution, hoping to secure the positions of incumbent candidates Daniel Ortega and Sergio Ramirez as president and vice-president. The crowd, nearing a half million people, seemed to be a sure indication of the only logical election result: a Sandinista victory. All of the major polls had been signalling a FSLN victory and as you probably know this writer had given UNO (the alliance of opposition po­litical parties headed by Violeta Chamorro) the fol­lowing chance of victory:

impossible!Elections were held 25 Feb.

with literally thousands of international observers and tons of “free and fair" publicity generated by solidarity groups throughout the world. Finally the US will have to accep t a S a n d in is ta government, thought most of us. Even the White House was reportedly considering a change in policy if the FSLN were to win. It is hard to know who was more surprised as the results trickled in: Dona Violeta, the housewife-widow - newspaper owner turned candidate, or Daniel, the s tuden t-guerrilla fighter turned politician.

Apparently, many of those at the rally had hoped to hear something they didn’t hear. Many analysts agree that if Daniel would have said, “The draft is over," he would have won the election. But surely Daniel, looking out over a sea of support, felt that such an­nouncement was unnecessary at precisely that moment. But it was. It’s logical that with the

elimination of the Contras the draft could be ended, but the Contras still had not been demobilized by election day.

In regional peace talks Daniel had agreed to move the elections forward by a few months in exchange for having the Contras de­mobilized and the war brought to an end. (Note that the elections themselves were not negotiated, only the date was changed.) According to journalist Tony Avirgan (Mesoamerica, March 1990):

When the Dec ‘89 date for demobilizing the Contras came and passed with the insurgents still armed and entrenched in Honduras, the other Central American presidents started making excuses. That was not whatOrtega had agreed to. The Sandinlstas objected, but no one backed them up. The deal had been broken. But the elections were scheduled and the Sandinlstas had no choice but to go through with them. Violeta Chamorro promised to end the war. Her relationship

C.J. Laing, a 1987 graduate, publishes a regular newsletter.with the Contras and the US made that promise feasible. Daniel Ortega promised to end the war. But the Contras were still armed and pledging to fight on. Ortega’s promise was difficult to believe. War weary Nicaraguans voted for peace.

Classification...Continued from pg. 2and indeed, what the prob­lem itself is.

“Be assured that this posi­tive process will go forward and from it will emerge a m usic policy th a t im ple­m ents the m ission of Wis­consin Public Radio.”

They fail to define their m ission as well. Perhaps their mission is to clear up invisible problem s. This response seems to be an ex­ercise in am biguity . At least the quotes from the draft were clear.

The response of Lawren­tians to this proposal has been swift and negative.

Phi Mu Alpha Sinfoniaand Sigma Alpha Iota, the two p ro fessional m usic fra te rn itie s on cam pus, have pu t petitions which protest th is latest blow to the integrity of the arts up onto the conservatory s tu ­dent m essage board, and over 60 people have signed their nam es in agreement with th is pro test, which will soon be sent to WPR managem ent.Anyone who feels strongly about this issue is urged to at least sign a petition, and write a letter to WPR giving ; them your opinion of th is 1 latest tripe. ____

T h e L aw rentian

T o p T en

by Ager, Pettingell, and Wiggins

T o p ten F unky

N e c e s s it ie s

f o r C o l l e g eL if e

10. Gideon's Bible9. pirhanas8. “Simpsons" boxers7. at least 12 hours of “The Muppet Show" on videotape6. the Subway nose5. complete stere o phonic Frank Zappa collection4. a dug-out canoe to go up the Fox3. hylozolc directions2. absinthe and a dance with Rimbaud's polar bear1. anatomical knowledge and a partridge in a pear tree

The best hamburgers and

double cheese burgers are at

Butch's Pizza

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731-1399

FREE DELIVERY with any $5 minimum order

Special through November 30 Double cheese double burger and a heap of fries for $3.25

We also make the best P IZZA in town. TR Y m

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Opinion Friday November 9, 1990 Page 2

From The Editor's Desk

A look at the end of th is term ’s paper run

Things are tough for everyone when it comes to student budget funds and the newspaper is no exception.

This is the final issue of the term for The Lawrentian due to budget considerations and other factors. Though cutting an

issue is not the most desirable way to save money, there aren't many other choices.

This should signal to everyone. Even an organization like The Lawrentian, which works hard for its advertising revenue, cannot make it through an entire run indicates that maybe

more fund ing should be forthcoming to student organizations.

It is definitely not LUCC’s fault. They lobbied hard last fall for more money for student groups. The $150,000 in requests from

studen t g roups last sp ring was bare bones opera ting expenses. Yet. only $ 7 7 , 5 0 0 comes down the pipe.

It can i>e repeated, things are tough all over, but if students are

motivated enough to do an activity, they should be funded as well as possible.

Maybe the university's discretionary budget isn't that large

and student groups d o n ’t receive as high a consideration as other Items. That, however shou ldn ’t be the case.

Student organizations provide an outlet for students outside of the classroom . They are ju s t as essential to a s tuden t’s experience as what is done in the classroom. Therefore, they should Ik* given as high a consideration as other discretionary budget expenses.

O therw ise, Lawrence's a im o f p roduc ing well rounded students won't be fulfilled. W hy? Because there is more to life than studying in the library or practicing in the practice room. Where else, if not student organizations, will students learn

leadership and other skills necessary for that big jum p into the “real world." They are as im portan t as any un iversity or conservatory class and should be funded as such.

Now. a review of the newspaper’s run this term.

It may not have always been pretty or award-winning, but this fall’s run of The Lawrentian was, to say the least. Interesting.

In a first go at runn ing this newspaper, a young editor sees the big picture clearly.

I As one who has mostly done writing and with some previous editing experience, this editor had to face some selllsh people who wanted to use the newspaper for their own aim s w ithout show ing regard for good jo u rna lism or the philosophy of a college newspaper, people who are convinced the press should

stay out ol everyone's lives, and those who wanted on ly the jxisitive w ithout regard for the truth.

But only a few.

I thank those that I have dealt with for their understand ing wid patience who were willing to sit down with members of the

staff and let them do what they are asked to do: T e l l the storv

as accurately and as completely as possible.

Bat k to you lom. _ Gordon A. Martinez

IT'S DINNER U N D E R THE STARS EVERY NIGHT WHEN YOU'RE

The law ren tian , USPS 306*680, is published weekly, twenty five tim es a year while classes are in session and is d istrib­uted free of charge to students, faculty, and staff on the Lawrence University cam pus. Subscription is $16 a year. Second class postage paid at Appleton, Wisconsin. POSTMASTER: send address changes to The Lawrentian, 1H3 Box 599, Appleton,WI 54912.

Editorial policy is determ ined by the editor. Any opinions which appear unsigned arc those of the editor, not necessarily of The U iw rentian’s staff.

Letters to the editor are welcome and encouraged. No letter can be printed unless it is less than 350 words and legibly signed by the author. Names may be held upon request. The editor reserves the right to edit for style and space. Letters m ust be subm itted by 5 p.m. W ednesdays to the Information desk or mailed to the above address.

Editor..................................................................................... Gordon MartinezA ssistant Editor................................................................ ....K ristin MekeelEntertainm ent Editor............................................................Chris MuellerPhoto Editor...............................................................................Dan MarshallProduction Editor........................................................................Laura WakeFeatures Editor................................................................... .......Dave KueterAdvertising Manager...................................................Jonathan FergusonBusiness Manager..................................................................... Carol HarperCirculation Manager............................................................ Martin BuergerSports Editor...........................................................................Fred AndersenT ypesetters............................................... Sarah Ritter and Bonnie WardPhoto staff.......................................................................................Nate Hagee

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• M E IHE MIDDLE CLASS FEEL THW THEY’K BETTER OFF THAN yO U '

• DISAPPEAR FftOM THE WORK. FORCE - AND REDUCE UNEMPLOYMENT /

• ELIMINATE OVERPOPULATION W CENSUS

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Letters to the Editor/Open Forum i

Why LU didn’t make ‘The List”

To the E d ito r

TOP TEN REASONS LAWRENCE DIDN’T MAKE THE U.S. NEWS AND WORLD REPORT TOP TEN SMALL LIBERAL ARTS COLLEGES LIST:10) We don’t have a crew team, only a crew club. (It’s the image th ing , you know.)

9) They mistook townies for Lawrentians.8) We did not meet the q u o ta for s u n ta n n e d , scantily-clad babes with California accents.7) Somebody told them. “Water my log!”6) They felt our use of the p h rase “The Nipple of Knowledge" was less than respectful.5) They thought Lawrence was being too commercial by naming one hall after a toilet m anufac tu rer and another after a major TV news anchor.4) The school paper had too many ytpos.

3) 70% of all Lawrence graduates are working at a mall near you.2) The most famous person to come out of Lawrence was Jeffery Jones ... And who the hell is he any­way?!1) They said our President was. quote. “Goofy Look­ing”. (But hey, relax! ... It’s nothing that a couple thou­sand dollars wouldn’t have solved.)

Respectfully Yours,

- The Mystic Order of Arachnid Vigilance

Classical can t be classifiedBy Chris Mueller

In an article in the Friday, October 26. 1990 issue of the Wisconsin State Jour­nal, columnist Pat Simms discussed a new plan by Wisconsin Public Radio as­so c ia te d ire c to r Greg Schnirring to make classi­cal music, as Simms put it. “user-friendly."

Not only does Schnirring want to eradicate the an ­n o u n c in g of w o rd s , phrases, and texts not in English and the use of com posers’ first names, but he also wants to divide classical music into four categories: upbeat, relax­ing, disturbing, and de­pressing.

According to Schnirring, only the upbeat and relax­ing pieces would be played which would m ean tha t m any pieces would be played without all their movements.

Schnirring felt that dis­turbing or depressing m u ­

sic has no place in the daily workday rou tine calling th is the “The Soundtrack of Our Lives Concept."

Not only does this pro­posal insult the listeners of W P R by assum ing their musical illiteracy, bu t it also insults the music it­self by assu m in g th a t pieces are not the sum of their parts, but rather col­le c t io n s of u n re la te d movements of varying de­grees of acceptability to the listener.

This proposal also insults m u s ic ian s by asserting that the music they play is merely a backdrop against which the important activ­ities of the day are set.

These suppositions are false, and indeed heresy to all music-lovers. Classical music is by its very naturecomplex, and by attem pt­ing to dilute or detoxify it for the sake of those who merely want background music for their daily activ­ities is a sham e and a

crime.Classical pieces are meant

as complete works, to be played in their entireties, and certainly the com ­posers’ full names may be pronounced with titles in their correct languages!

The new memo which WPR has released does pre­cious little to clear up m at­ters.

It states that WPR is con­sidering a centrally con­trolled system and that WPR’s approach needs to be rethought, but it gives no reasons for these things. Have listeners been com­plaining about the general format? Why need they fix what works well? “The al­ternative ... is to keep the present system but to de­velop clearer policies on what is expected."

What is expected of w hom ? The p ro g ra m ­m ers)? The announcers? I fail to understand what ne­cessitates the problem over which they are ruminating See CLASSIFICATION,Page 5

Opinion Friday November 9, 1990 Page 3

L a i n g r e p o r t s f r o m N i c a r a g u aBy Christopher J . Laing

(Editor’s Note* The following Is an excerpt o f L a ing 's

ne w s le tte r p u b lis h e d in Nicaragua.)

It is clear that all o f th is

appears to us to be insane . Blit what is not insane these days in N icaragua? W hat has

happened econom ica lly has tu rned the coun try in to an insane asy lum , where upon

getting up in the m orn ing we

don ’t know if we shou ld cry, laugh, run wildly, or go out into

the street and have a shoo t­out w ith the iirst guy that gives us a bad look.

J u s t because N icaragua has b e e n g iv e n “f le d g l in g dem ocracy" s ta tu s and has d isappeared from the spo t­light doesn’t mean that things are better for N ica raguans these days, as noted in the above excerp t from an editorial.

The runaw ay inflation, w ith scheduled deva luations every Monday; the existence of two n a t io n a l currenc ie s , three

with the US dollar; the politics

of revenge and favoritism; ihe

a b o m in a b le c o n d it io n s of hosp ita ls and health centers: and the official blessing of the Catholic C hurch hierarchy on the new go ve rnm en t a ll combine to create a desperate s itu a tio n , one w hich leaves

m any N ic a rag u an s a sk in g themselves. “W hy did I vote for UNO?"

THE ELECTIONS O n Feb. 21, the Sand in is ta

Front for N ational Liberation (FSLN) closed its n a tio n a l

c am p a ig n w ith a m assive gathering on the Plaza of the Revolution, hop ing to secure

the positions o f in cum ben t candidates D anie l Ortega and Sergio Ram irez as president and vice-president. The crowd,

nearing a ha lf m illion people, seemed to be a sure indication

o f the on ly logical election

result: a S an d in is ta victory. All of the m ajor polls had been

signalling a FSLN victory and as you p robab ly know th is

w riter had given UNO (the a llia n ce of oppos itio n p o ­lit ic a l p a rtie s headed by V io leta C ham orro ) the fo l­low ing chance o f v ictory:

im possible!E lections were held 25 Feb.

w ith lite ra lly th o u sa n d s of in te rna tio na l observers and

tons of “free and fair" publicity g e n e ra te d by s o l id a r ity groups throughout the world. F in a lly the US will have to a c c e p t a S a n d in i s t a government, thought most of

us. Even the W hite House was re po rte d ly c o n s id e r in g a change in policy if the FSLN were to win. It is hard to know who was more surprised as the results trickled in: Dona

Violeta. the housewife widow- ne w sp ape r ow ner tu rn e d c an d id a te , or D an ie l, the

s tu d e n t- g u e r r i l la f ig h te r turned politician.

Apparently, m any of those at the rally had hoped to hear som eth ing they d id n ’t hear.

M any ana lys ts agree that if Daniel would have said, “The draft is over." he would have

won the election. But surely Daniel, looking out over a sea of support, felt that such a n ­nouncem ent was unnecessary at precisely that m om ent. But it was. It’s logical that with the

elim ination of the Contras the

draft could be ended, bu t the Contras still h ad not been

demobilized by election day.In reg ional peace ta lks

Daniel had agreed to move the e lections forward by a few m o n th s in exchange for h a v in g the C o n tr a s d e ­mobilized and the war brought

to an end . (Note that the elections themselves were not

negotiated, only the date was

c h a n g e d .) A c c o rd in g to J o u r n a l is t T ony A v irg an (Mesoatnerica, March 1990):

W hen the Dec ‘89 date for d e m o b iliz in g the C o n tra s came and passed w ith the in su rgen ts still a rm ed and entrenched in H onduras , the o th e r C e n tr a l A m e r ic a n p res iden ts s tar ted m ak ing excuses. That was not what

Ortega had agreed to. The Sand in ls tas objected, bu t no one backed them up. The deal had been broken . B u t the elections were scheduled and the Sand in ls tas had no choice bu t to go through w ith them. Violeta Cham orro prom ised to end the war. Her re lationship

C.J. Laing, a 1987 graduate, publishes a regular newsletter.with the Contras a n d the US made that prom ise feasible. Daniel Ortega promised to end the war. But the Contras were still arm ed and pledging to fight on. Ortega’s promise was difficult to believe. W ar weary N icaraguans voted for peace.

Classification...Continued from pg. 2and indeed, what the prob­lem itself is.

“Be assured that this posi­tive process will go forward and from it will emerge a music policy that imple­ments the mission of Wis­consin Public Radio."

They fail to define their mission as well. Perhaps their mission is to clear up invisible problems. This response seems to be an ex­ercise in ambiguity. At least the quotes from the draft were clear.

The response of Lawren­tians to this proposal has been swift and negative.

Phi Mu Alpha Sinfoniaand Sigma Alpha Iota, the two professional m usic fra te rn ities on cam pus , have put petitions which protest this latest blow to the integrity of the arts up onto the conservatory s tu ­dent message board, and over 60 people have signed their names in agreement with this protest, which will soon be sent to WPR management.Anyone who feels strongly about this issue is urged to at least sign a petition, and write a letter to WPR giving them your opinion of this latest tripe.

T he Lawrentian T op T en

b y Ager, Pettingell, and Wiggins

T op ten F unky Necessities

for C ollegeLife

10. G ideon’s Bible

9. p lrhanas

8. “Simpsons" boxers

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5. complete stere o-phonlc Frank Zappa collection

4. a dug-out canoe to go up the Fox

3. hylozoic directions

2. absinthe and a dance w ith R im baud ’s polar bear

1. anatom ical knowledge and a partridge in a pear tree

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Campus News___________ Friday November 9, 1990 Page 4

Stanley focuses on Cruz anBy Kelly Ritland

On Tuesday, November 6, Jack Stanley, a professor of Religious Studies, lec­tured on the topic of Nancy Cruzan - Implications of the Supreme Court Deci­sion during the second Main Hall Forum.

He began the presentation by showing a video of a PBS special. Which showed the family the day before the trial began.

Nancy Cruzan is a 25 year old woman who is in a per­sis ten t vegetative state.

Cruzan was throw from a car, face down in the snow. She was without breath for fifteen minutes, and it is undeterm ined how long she went without a pulse. The am bu lance arrived and restored her heartbeat, brought her to the hospital and put her on a respirator.From there, she had a gas­

tronom y surg ically im ­planted into her stomach.

. After three years, the fam­ily decided her condition was irreversible, and to disconnect the tube.

The hospital didn’t have any problems with discon­necting the tube , b u t wanted a court order. Ini­tially, the Missouri State Court said it was alrighi for the disconnection. But the case became public, and the M issouri A ttorney General, William Webster, brought it to the Supreme Court of Missouri. There it rejected the case, saying it was in the interest of the state to maintain life.

It then went to the U.S. Supreme Court, where it was said tha t in a state where the state says has in­terest to override Interest in the individual, a living will is a necessity.

fhis space contributed as a public service

This is where the Issue of the living will is addressed. A roomm ate had heard Cruzan say she did not want to live if ever in the vegetation state. Therefore, a “su b s ti tu tio n a l ju d g e ­ment" must come into play in place of the living will Cruzan didn’t have.

Legal and policy implica­tions have arisen, along with an a sso r tm e n t of valid issues. The courts say they need either a living will of strong legal stature, or a durable attorney Is needed to withdraw life support systems. Cruzan’s a ttorney uses the 14th am endm ent as evidence supporting their side.

LUCC...Continued from pg. 1 noted that many organiza­tions had not tu rned in th e i r m o n th ly re p o r ts which were due at the first of the month.

Associate Dean of S tu ­dents Paul Shrode asked if Huglen could move the date for reporting from the first to the tenth of every month due to the difficulty of a group pulling all its finan­cial records together and checking it against the records in the business of­fice.

Huglen said that the con­stitution states all reports are due at the first of the m onth and changing it would require a change in

the constitution.Huglen said that he hopes

tha t groups take the re ­sponsibility to do the ir own records and not ju s t simply give LUCC what the

business office says is what they have in their account.

Vice-president Sven White said the requestThe Lawrentian for $1,200 to pay for typese tters and

circulation manager with a stipend for advertising was rejected with the editor asked to look for o ther sources of funding for the typesetters and to Increase advertising to make-up for the shortfall.

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Campus News Friday November 9, 1990 Page 5

Knapinski...Continued from pg. 1can be, then those hours are out there."

Knapinski very much likes alternative radio and would like to see it work at WLFM.

“Even though its student radio, it sh o u ld n ’t fall short of what’s done at a regular station.

“College radio can be very good radio.”

Knapinski envisions his

show as being about what­ever people want it to be about.

“Maybe there’s an expert around who knows about the situation in the Per­sian Gulf.

“It could deal with social Is su es , w h a t’s on at Lawrence and the commu­nity . A p o tp o u r r i of things."

Knapinski sees his show as a good opportunity for s tu d en ts to learn about production, reporting and other facets of radio.

RLA Appreciation Day!

November 12They arrived a w eek ea r ly f o r an in tense training program.

Brokaw HallKacy Klelnhans Laura Wake Colman Hall Decky Alexander Cnrlssa Balgemann Jeff Dross M artin Buerger Derrick De Yarman Susan Duncan Melinda Gosswlller Kathle I.undgren Clint Schneider Kohler Hall M artin Arlt Suzanne Harrow Barbara Coe Thad Florence Brian Huglen

Chris H undhausen Christine Mitchell Gabriela Mondlno Ryan Tarpley Stacy WoldtQimiby HailTanya Davidson Jo n Fosdlck I-cslie Hanson I’aul Helm ken Rose Kelly Thomas Nowak Alice Peacock Mary Roetzel Planty Hall Kristynn Fields Miriam Guthrie Joe Krueger Sarah Marshall

I*eter Murchie Erik Swan David Tomfohrde Kris Warzynlak Safe Hall Jennifer Asjjcn Kim Frederick Bart Isaacson Patrick Schubert Trever }fal|Neal Freese Trevor I lydc Jon Maki Michelle Mueller Michael Kozovtcs Troy Thomberry Meghan Walsh Sherrill Weller Quad #6 Therena U>wr

Knapinski also realizes the place WLFM has in the Appleton community.

“Lawrence sees this s ta ­tion as a public relations tool. The deans and admin­istrators have to be cog­nizant of what comes out of here reflects on the col-

Trivia...Continued from pg. 1 Trivia Contest, but It was recently decided that the “50 hours of trivia" will be held once again this year.

Larry Dahlke, grand m as­ter of the trivia contest, ex­plained that it has been up

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lege."Knapinski’s feel for the

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to the s tu d en ts involved with WLFM whether or not to have the contest this year.

The s tuden ts were told they would have to assume the re sp o n s ib i l i t ie s of Larry Page, the s ta tion’s form er ch ie f en g in ee r whose position was elimi­nated in the W P R takeover, and they have decided to do so.

The Midwest Trivia Con­test is now in its 25th year, and as Dahlke explained, “There are fun th ings planned for the 25th a n ­niversary. It will be star- studded.”1 But he added that it re­mains to be seen if the con­test will be run exactly the same way as before.

Glen Slaats, the WPR rep­resentative and cu rren t general manager of the s ta ­tion, plans to watch over the contest and see how things are run, but Dahlke is u n su re if S laa ts will ichange anything.

places."Knapinski sees the radio

station as a way of bridging that gap. But the only way it can happen is student involvement, according to Knapinski

“I think the station could be a marvelous part of Lawrenco.’

“As of right now, we plan to run the contest like we have in the past. It has been ‘cleaned up’ in recent years, and we plan to con­tinue with the kinder and gentler form of trivia, but we won’t hesitate to have fun with it," explained Dahlke.

Also, Dahlke does not an ­ticipate the public or the students to show any less interest in the contest be­cause of the takeover. He stated, “Even people who didn’t listen to WLFM regu­larly were always there for the trivia."

He added that the contest h a s received n a t io n a l recognition in the past, in­cluding a report on “Good Morning America” and an a r t ic le in P 1 a v b o v magazine.

The 50 hours will begin at 10 p.m. on Friday. Jan . 27 and conclude at midnight on Sunday Jan. 29

~ T h r e e n e w w a y s t o s u r v i v e c o l l e g e .

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Features Friday November 9, 1990 Page 6

Uumor ColwnmsL Dave BarryPoliticians should have terms • •

By Dave Barry

Recently, in a deviation from Standard Journalism Procedure, I’ve been talking with members of the public. We journalists gen­erally avoid members of the public because they always tell us that we get everything wrong, although in fact what they’re usually talking about is insignificant errors such as identifying Jam es Baker as “the governor of Connecticut,’’ when he is technically the mayor of Connecticut.

So usually we journalists prefer to obtain our information about the public by watching it walk past our cafeteria windows. “The public appears guardedly optimistic today," we’ll say. Or: “Stop the presses! The public appears to be in a recession!"

But lately, because of car trouble, I have been in very close contact with the public, at least the part of it that operates tow trucks, and I’ve been able to “dig up" the following major "scoop":THE PUBLIC IS FED UP WITH POLITICIANS.Yes. If you don’t believe me. just look around

you (Not NOW. you moron! At the end of the sentence!) and y o u ’ll see su b tle yet unmistakable signs of voter dissatisfaction:

— In survey after survey, the public ranks “politician," as a profession, between “arsonist" and “hookworm."

— Many politicians are unable to appear in daylight because the public throws rocks ar them. They’re forced to campaign in the dead of night, sneak ing into voters’ houses, creeping into the nurseries, hastily kissing babies and then sprin ting off into the d a rk n e s s , t ra i le d by a ides carry ing camouflaged briefcases.

— Eighty-seven percent of the members of the U.S. Congress now wear special armored socks because they keep getting bitten BY THEIR OWN DOGS.

— In a dramatic example of the mounting

Election results distressing

voter backlash against incumbents, the two- term governor of Oklahoma was recently defeated by a ja r of totally inexperienced mayonnaise.

Yes. our election leaders are “feeling the heat," bu t is th is really fair? Should the public ta r all of the apples in the political barrel with the same broad brush just because a few rotten eggs are crying over spilt milk? Of course not. The truth is that there are a great many politicians who are honest, t ru s tw o rth y , intelligent, hard-w orking, decent and competent. Unfortunately, they are all located on the planet Zoombah. The ones here on Earth are dumpsterheads.

Consider, for example, the ir recent concerted effort to reduce the pesky federal budget deficit, which, shockingly, continues to mount despite the fact that BOTH MAJOR POLITICAL PARTIES have issued sternly worded position papers against it. Day after day, week after week, the top bra ins of Congress and the Bush administration sat in a conference room, eating prune Danish supplied by the Prune Danish division of the Bureau of Pastries of the U.S. department of Refreshments at a cost of $2,350 per slice.

“What should we do about this pesky budget deficit?" the leaders asked, c rum bs of concern dribbling from their mouths. “How can we reduce it? If only we had an idea! If only we could think of ..."

“SPEND LESS MONEY, YOU CRETINS!!" shouted a group of cockroaches, who had been listening from the floor and managed to figure out the solution despite the handicap of not being top political brains. Unfortunately, however, our political leadership is not responsive to cockroaches, unless of course they operate savings -and -loan institutions.

So the government does not appear to be working, and the public is sick of politicians, with their bloated campaign budgets and their slick, phony TV commercials.. But the tide is starting to turn. That is the beauty of democracy. More and more politicians, fi-

By Dave Kueter

. bu t no parolenally getting the message, are using their bloated campaign budgets to produce slick, phony TV commercials IN WHICH THEY DENY THAT THEY ARE POLITICIANS. You’ve probably seen these:

(The screen shows a candidate with his sleeves rolled up. pretending to talk with a group of factory workers.)

ANNOUNCER: Morton Lamprey is not a po litic ian . M orton Lam prey h a s NO INTEREST in politics. That’;s why Morton Lamprey spen t $287,000 to make th is commercial.

CANDIDATE: I’m Morton Lamprey, and because I am not a politician I constantly hang out with ordinary workers, informally rolling up my sleeves and holding exactly the same opinions as they do about everything. Sometimes I even touch them. (He touches a worker.)

ANNOUNCER: Let’s help Morton Lamprey continue the fight against insider “fat-cat"politics-as-usual that he’s been waging for 17 consecutive terms in office.

(One of the workers throws a rock, which bounces harmlessly off the candidate’s hair spray.)

CANDIDATE (to an aide): Have that worker Shot.

ANNOUNCER: Morton Lamprey. He’s ju s t like you, assuming you have a media advisor. Morton Lamprey. Notice how sincerely I say his name. I also do the Infiniti (cq) com­mercials.

So we’re definitely seeing some meaningful reform in the area of political advertising. Some radicals, however, feel we need to go still further, and actually improve the quality of GOVERNMENT, via simple, com mon-sense political reforms such as becoming a British colony again. Another increasingly popular idea is to give politi­cians terms of a specified length, which I th ink is an excellent idea. Twelve years sounds about right to me.

But no parole.® ( S 9 0 VY MA+f

Okay, I’m depressed.I didn’t pay all that much attention to the gubernato­

rial and congressional races before election day itself. However, there were two specific s which I was very de­cided on: Big Green and Harvey Gantt. And they both lost. Now I know that everybody gets upset when their candidates or referendums lose, but this goes beyond that.

Jesse Helms has been an embarrassment to this coun­try’s legislative system since day one. CNN reported that when a group of people in San Diego heard of Helms’ bid for re-election, they gathered $100,000 for the cam ­paign of the challenger. Harvey Gantt. Basically, Jesse Helms is one of the greatest enemies of our First Amendment (thank the Lord Florida governor Bob Martinez was ousted). In addition, he ran the sleaziest campaign this side of Central America. Ads were run reporting that gays and lesbians were flocking to North Carolina to try to get Helms out of office. Postcards were sent to low-income neighborhoods telling those who might vote for Harvey Gantt not to show up to the polls and "misrepresent" themselves. In addition, voting m a­chines were inoperative in many areas and others had only one machine. Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.

On the other hand. California’s “Big Green" was possi­bly the most sweeping environmental proposal of its time. Addressing all kinds of problems from off-shore drilling to pesticide use to logging in ancient redwood forests. The mere existence of the bill was a sign that perhaps we were ready to begin the essential steps to pre­serve our environment and. through this our own future. However, Big Green’s 65-35 defeat stomped those hopes. If we can ’t get a good environmental program going in California, what can we possibly hope for in more con­servative areas?

Anybody know how one can apply for Canadian citi­zenship?

Entertainment/The Arts FridayNovember 9, 1990

Page 7

Irvin to presen t lec tu re /rec ita lMaijory Irvin, professor

of music emerita and de­signer of the freshman and sophom ore theory p ro ­gram, will present a lec­tu re/recita l to benefit the Pi Kappa Lambda scholar­ship fund at 8:30 p.m. T h u rsd ay , Nov. 15 in Harper Hall.

In her first public perfor­mance since retiring from Lawrence in 1987, Irvin will play the works of F ren ch co m p o se r Lili

WPR...Continued from pg. 1

The memo issued by S c h n i r r in g s t a t e d , “Classical music stations th roughou t the country have been forced to rethink their approach.

“I have believed that we would have better, more creative, and more inter­esting program m ing if each program host selected h is /h e r music and could speak about it from knowl­edge.

“The alternative that our new Associate Director, Greg Schnirring. and I pre­fer to keep is the present system, b u t to develop clearer policies on what is expected."

In an interview with Jack Mitchell, programming di­rector at WPR. he said that there h a s not been an overwhelming am ount of response to the policy draft, but a fair amount.

“Not as much as we would have gotten had we actu­ally begun to implement the policies. There was more response from pro­fessional musicians than from other people."

Boulanger accompanied by Nancy Stowe, assistant to the dean of the conserva­tory.

Irvin began her teaching career in 1948 at Milwau- kee-Downer College, which merged with Lawrence in 1964. She earned the bach­elor’s and m aster’s degrees from Illinois W esleyan University and continued her studies at the Juilliard School in Paris, the Uni-Mitchell said the reaction

has been. “All negative. After all, who would react positively with the way it was worded?”

Mike Engelson, president of Phi Mu Alpha Sinfonia, said the memo was “Just a? bogus as the proposition so how out of context could

versity of Indiana. Univer­sity of Arizona, the Ameri­can Conservatory and the Aspen School of Music.

A popular and respected teacher, Irvin was awarded the Lawrence University Award for Excellence in

teach ing , the Babcock Award; for cooperation with s tudent enterprises and the M ortar Board Award for Excellence in Teaching.they have been?

Julia Hillbrick, president of Sigma Alpha Iota, the women’s professional m u ­sic fraternity, said tha t WPR has dug itself a hole with this new proposition and this memo was an a t­tempt to get out of the hole.

-Recitals-

-HANDEL'S MESSIAH-Sunday. Dec.2 7:30 p.m. Chapel *

-American Music Recital"Saturday. Dec.l 8:00 p.m. Harper Hall

-Guest Recitals--Andrew Rangell, piano

Wednesday. Nov. 14 8:30 p.m.Harper Hall -M arjory Irvin and Nancy Stcwe *

Lecture and recital on the songs of Naaia Boulanger Thursday. Nov. 15 8:30 p.m. Harper Hall

-Faculty Recitals- -Below and Murray, piano

Sunaay, Nov. 11 8:00 p.m. Harper Hall -Brass Quintet

Friday, Nov. 16 8:00 p.m. Harper Hall -Student Recital-

-Chris Weigel, clarinet; Margaret Jenks, voice Monday, Nov. 19 8:30 p.m. Harper Hall

-Joyanne Kohler, flute Monday, Nov. 26 8:30 p.m. Harper Hall

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1 3 "A House Is taleNot — ” 48 Walter — Mare

18 Director Kazan 49 Shillelagh19 Exploit 50 Away: abbr20 Bangor s state 51 Goat antelope21 Pigmentation 53 Chutney and22 Bell-shaped turmeric

flower 56 Boat race25 Greeting 60 Scram!26 Subseguently 61 City on the Oka27 Pianos 63 Hawkeye state28 Awards 64 Social gathering29 Talk too much 66 Schuss32 RBI and ERA 67 1941 Academy33 Rubicund Award film34 Foster song 73 Legendary bird

DOWN1 TV actor Gabe 30 Coniunction2 Pelvic bones 31 Snooty one3 Delta deposit 33 Cheers4 Former comic 34 Name in cars

actor Danny 35 Trickle slowly5 Away 36 Citrus fruit6 Soak flax 37 Manatee7 Scrooge words 38 Distant8 Phases 40 just cares

for me '9 Painter's board10 Sword handles 41 Like a bump11 Certain bills on —12 Marshal under 42 Downhearted

Napoleon 43 Pretentious13 Yearned 45 Mug14 Did gardening 46 Stroke15 Stewpot 47 Garment size:16 Gangster s girl abbr.17 Cupid 52 Garland20 Control 54 Unit o f work23 Musical 55 Some Europeans

instrument 57 Dance directorH 24 Necessary — ChampionII 28 Large grouper 58 Cognizant

74 ' Rabbi — Ezra” 104 Horizontal mine75 Art deco entrances

illustrator 106 "Love — many-76 Operatic splendored

highlight thing"77 Mike men 107 Lacking funds80 Avenues 111 ' Mine eyes nave83 Figure of speech - glory87 Sao — 113 Tend to the sick88 Abundance 118 Lend —89 Edge (listen)91 "Dios like — •" 119 Rille

(Whittier) 122 Platitudinous92 US scenic 123 Coquets

wonder 124 Lab burner99 Cu've 125 Chukker game

100 Consume 126 Pied -101 Unclose to poets 127 Lumber102 Dug underground 128 Fast planes103 Favorite 129 Duck

59 Palate 96 Like mesh60 Tolerates 97 TLC dispensers:62 Majors abbr.65 A Gabor 98 Silly67 Special respect 103 Cleaner68 Happens 104 A Harpy69 Put on a throne 105 Clogs70 Paris subway 107 Fastener71 52 108 Against72 Childbirth 109 Gather in the

technique crops73 Dem.'s foe 110 Roy Rogers78 High notes wife79 Long, long time 111 Starch81 Light brown source82 Strain 112 Salamanders84 Pedestal figure 114 Refs' kin85 Solitary 115 Motel unit86 Old oath 116 Food fish88 Go awayt 117 Plenty for90 Hawaiian isle poets93 Like a gorge 119 Promise94 Sang in a way 120 Explosive95 Thinks 121 Owns

Features F'riday November 9, 1990 Page 6

Humor Columnist Dave BarruPoliticians should have termsBy Dave Barry

Recently, in a deviation from Standard Journalism Procedure, I’ve been talking with members of the public. We journalists gen­erally avoid members of the public because they always tell us that we get everything wrong, although in fact what they’re usually talking about is insignificant errors such as Identifying Jam es Baker as “the governor of Connecticut." when he is technically the mayor of Connecticut.

So usually we journalists prefer to obtain our information about the public by watching it walk past our cafeteria windows. “The public appears guardedly optimistic today," we’ll say. Or: “Stop the presses! The public appears to be in a recession!"

But lately, because of car trouble, I have been in very close contact with the public, at least the part of it that operates tow trucks, and I’ve been able to “dig up" the following major "scoop":THE PUBLIC IS FED UP WITH POLITICIANS.Yes. If you don’t believe me. just look around

you (Not NOW. you moron! At the end of the sentence!) and you ’ll see su b tle yet unmistakable signs of voter dissatisfaction:

— In survey after survey, the public ranks “politician," as a profession, between “arsonist" and “hookworm."

— Many politicians are unable to appear in daylight because the public throws rocks ar them. They’re forced to campaign in the dead of night, sneaking into voters’ houses, creeping into the nurseries, hastily kissing babies and then sprin ting off into the d a rk n e s s , t ra i led by a id es carry ing camouflaged briefcases.

— Eighty-seven percent of the members of the U.S. Congress now wear special armored socks because they keep getting bitten BY THEIR OWN DOGS.

— In a dramatic example of the mounting

Election results distressingBy Dave Kueter

Okay, I’m depressed.I didn’t pay all that much attention to the gubernato­

rial and congressional races before election day itself. However, there were two specific s which I was very de­cided on: Big Green and Harvey Gantt. And they both lost. Now I know that everybody gets upset when their candidates or referendums lose, but this goes beyond that.

Jesse Helms has been an embarrassment to this coun­try’s legislative system since day one. CNN reported that when a group of people in San Diego heard of Helms’ bid for re-election, they gathered $100,000 for the cam ­paign of the challenger. Harvey Gantt. Basically. Jesse Helms is one of the greatest enemies of our First Amendment (thank the Lord Florida governor Bob Martinez was ousted). In addition, he ran the sleaziest campaign this side of Central America. Ads were run reporting that gays and lesbians were flocking to North Carolina to try to get Helms out of office. Postcards were sent to low-income neighborhoods telling those who might vote for Harvey Gantt not to show up to the polls and “misrepresent" themselves. In addition, voting m a­chines were inoperative in many areas and others had only one machine. Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.

On the other hand, California’s "Big Green" was possi­bly the most sweeping environmental proposal of Its time. Addressing all kinds of problems from off-shore drilling to pesticide use to logging In ancient redwood forests. The mere existence of the bill was a sign that perhaps we were ready to begin the essential steps to pre­serve our environment and. through this our own future. However. Big Green’s 65-35 defeat stomped those hopes. If we can ’t get a good environmental program going in California, what can we possibly hope for in more con­servative areas?

Anybody know how one can apply for Canadian citi­zenship?

• •voter backlash against incumbents, the two- term governor of Oklahoma was recently defeated by a ja r of totally inexperienced mayonnaise.

Yes. our election leaders are “feeling the heat." bu t is this really fair? Should the public tar all of the apples in the political barrel with the same broad brush just because a few rotten eggs are crying over spilt milk? Of course not. The truth is that there are a great many politicians who are honest, t ru s tw orthy , in telligent, hard-w orking, decent and competent. Unfortunately, they are all located on the planet Zoombah. The ones here on Earth are dumpsterheads.

Consider, for example, the ir recent concerted effort to reduce the pesky federal budget deficit, which, shockingly, continues to mount despite the fact that BOTH MAJOR POLITICAL PARTIES have issued sternly worded position papers against it. Day after day, week after week, the top b ra ins of Congress and the Bush administration sat in a conference room, eating prune Danish supplied by the Prune Danish division of the Bureau of Pastries of the U.S. department of Refreshments at a cost of $2,350 per slice.

“What should we do about this pesky budget deficit?" the leaders asked, c rum bs of concern dribbling from their mouths. “How can we reduce it? If only we had an idea! If only we could think of ..."

“SPEND LESS MONEY, YOU CRETINS!!" shouted a group of cockroaches, who had been listening from the floor and managed to figure out the solution despite the handicap of not being top political brains. Unfortunately, however, our political leadership is not responsive to cockroaches, unless of course they operate savings -and -loan Institutions.

So the government does not appear to be working, and the public is sick of politicians, with their bloated campaign budgets and their slick, phony TV commercials.. But the tide Is starting to turn. That Is the beauty of democracy. More and more politicians, fl-

. but no parolenally getting the message, are using their bloated campaign budgets to produce slick, phony TV commercials IN WHICH THEY DENY THAT THEY ARE POLITICIANS. You’ve probably seen these:

(The screen shows a candidate with his sleeves rolled up. pretending to talk with a group of factory workers.)

ANNOUNCER: Morton Lamprey is not a po lit ic ian . M orton Lam prey h a s NO INTEREST in politics. That’;s why Morton Lamprey spen t $287,000 to make th is commercial.

CANDIDATE: I’m Morton Lamprey, and because I am not a politician I constantly hang out with ordinary workers, informally rolling up my sleeves and holding exactly the same opinions as they do about everything. Sometimes I even touch them. (He touches a worker.)

ANNOUNCER: Let’s help Morton Lamprey continue the fight against insider “fat-cat"politics-as-usual that he’s been waging for 17 consecutive terms in office.

(One of the workers throws a rock, which bounces harmlessly off the candidate’s hair spray.)

CANDIDATE (to an aide): Have that worker Shot.

ANNOUNCER: Morton Lamprey. He’s just like you. assuming you have a media advisor. Morton Lamprey. Notice how sincerely I say his name. I also do the Infiniti (cq) com­mercials.

So we’re definitely seeing some meaningful reform in the area of political advertising. Some radicals, however, feel we need to go still further, and actually improve the qua lity of GOVERNMENT, via simple, com m on-sense political reforms such as becoming a British colony again. Another Increasingly popular idea is to give politi­cians terms of a specified length, which I th ink Is an excellent Idea. Twelve years sounds about right to me.

But no parole.

MA-fr

Entertainment/The Arts NovemberFriday

9, 1990Page 7

Irvin to present lec tu re /rec ita lMarjory Irvin, professor

of music emerita and de­signer of the freshman and sophom ore theory p ro ­gram, will present a lec­ture/recita l to benefit the Pi Kappa Lambda scholar­ship fund at 8:30 p.m. T h u rsd ay , Nov. 15 in Harper Hall.

In her first public perfor­mance since retiring from Lawrence in 1987, Irvin will play the works of F ren ch co m p o se r Lili

WPR...Continued from pg. 1

The memo issued by S c h n i r r in g s t a t e d , “Classical music stations th roughou t the country have been forced to rethink their approach.

“I have believed that we would have better, more creative, and more in ter­esting program m ing if each program host selected h is /h e r music and could speak about it from knowl­edge.

“The alternative that our new Associate Director. Greg Schnirring, and I pre­fer to keep is the present system, b u t to develop clearer policies on what is expected."

In an interview with Jack Mitchell, programming di­rector at WPR. he said that there h a s not been an overwhelming am ount of response to the policy draft, but a fair amount.

“Not as much as we would have gotten had we actu ­ally begun to implement the policies. There was more response from pro­fessional m usicians than from other people."

Boulanger accompanied by Nancy Stowe, assistant to the dean of the conserva­tory.

Irvin began her teaching career in 1948 at Milwau- kee-Downer College, which merged with Lawrence in 1964. She earned the bach­elor’s and m aster’s degrees from Illinois W esleyan University and continued her studies at the Juilliard School in Paris, the Uni-Mitchell said the reaction

has been, “All negative. After all. who would react positively with the way it was worded?“

Mike Engelson, president of Phi Mu Alpha Sinfonia. said the memo was “Just as bogus as the proposition so how out of context could

versity of Indiana. Univer­sity of Arizona, the Ameri­can Conservatory and the Aspen School of Music.

A popular and respected teacher. Irvin was awarded the Lawrence University Award for Excellence in

teach ing , the Babcock Award; for cooperation with s tudent enterprises and the Mortar Board Award for Excellence in Teaching.they have been?

Julia Hillbrick. president of Sigma Alpha Iota, the women’s professional m u­sic fraternity, said that WPR has dug itself a hole with this new proposition and this memo was an a t­tempt to get out of the hole.

-Recitals-

-HANDEL'S MESSIAH-Sunday, Dec.2 7:30 p.m. Chapel *

-American Music Recital-Saturday, Dec. 1 8:00 p.m. Harper Hall

-Guest Recitals--Andrew Rangell, piano

Wednesday, Nov. 14 8:30 p.m.Harper Hall -Marjory Irvin and Nancy Stcwe *

Lecture and recital on the songs of Nadia Boulanger Thursday, Nov. 15 8:30 p.m. Harper Hall

-Faculty Recitals- -Below and Murray, piano

Sunday, Nov. 11 8:00 p.m. Harper Hall -Brass Quintet

Friday, Nov. 16 8:00 p.m. Harper Hall -Student Recital-

-Chris Weigel, clarinet; Margaret Jenks, voice Monday. Nov. 19 8:30 p.m. Harper Hall

-Joyanne Kohler, flute Monday, Nov. 26 8:30 p.m. Harper Hall

* admission charged

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The CrosswordLast week’s solution

DKPRKSSION By Dorolhv B. Martin

ACROSS 1 Thin olafe 5 Spheres of

influence 9 Sound: pref

13 A House Is Not —

18 Director Kazan19 Exploit20 Bangor s state21 Pigmentation22 Beii-shapeo

flower25 Greeting26 Subseauently27 Pianos28 Awards29 Talk too much32 RBI and ERA33 Rubicund34 Foster song

DOWN1 TV actor Gabe2 Pelvic bones3 Delta deposit4 Former comic

actor Danny5 Away6 Soak flax7 Scrooge words8 Phases9 Painter's board

10 Sword handles11 Certain bills12 Marshal under

Napoleon13 Yearned14 Did gardening15 Stewpot16 Gangster s girl17 Cupid 20 Control23 Musical

instrument24 Necessary28 Large grouper

39 Deputy: abbr40 Scratch41 Mornings: abbr 44 Ichabod Crane s

tale48 Walter — Mare49 Shillelagh50 Away: abbr51 Goat antelope 53 Chutney and

turmeric 56 Boat race60 Scram'61 City on the Oka63 Hawkeye state64 Social gathering66 Schuss67 1941 Academy

Award film73 Legendary bird

30 Coniunction31 Snooty one33 Cheers34 Name in cars35 Trickle slowly36 Citrus fruit37 Manatee38 Distant40 just cares

for me"41 Like a bump

on —42 Downhearted43 Pretentious45 Mug46 Stroke47 Garment size:

abbr.52 Garland54 Unit of work55 Some Europeans57 Dance director

— Champion58 Cognizant

74 Rabbi — Ezra 104 Horizontal mine75 Art deco entrances

illustrator 106 'Love — many-76 Operatic splendored

highlight thing"77 Mike men 107 Lacking funds80 Avenues 111 Mine eves nave83 Figure of speech - glory87 Sao — 113 Tend to the sick88 Abundance 118 Lend —89 Edge (listen)91 Dios like —I" 119 Rille

(Whittier) 122 Platitudinous92 US scenic 123 Coquets

wonder 124 Lab burner99 Cwve 125 Chukker game

100 Consume 126 Pied -101 Unclose to poets 127 Lumber102 Dug underground 128 Fast planes103 Favorite 129 Duck

59 Palate 96 Like mesh60 Tolerates 97 TLC dispensers:62 Majors abbr65 A Gabor 98 Silly67 Special respect 103 Cleaner68 Happens 104 A Harpy69 Put on a throne 105 Clogs70 Paris subway 107 Fastener71 52 108 Against72 Childbirth 109 Gather in the

technigue crops73 Dem s foe 110 Roy Rogers78 High notes wife79 Long, long time 111 Starch81 Light brown source82 Strain 112 Salamanders84 Pedestal figure 114 Refs' kin85 Solitary 115 Motel unit86 Old oath 116 Food fish88 Go away! 117 Plenty for90 Hawaiian isle poets93 Like a gorge 119 Promise94 Sang in a way 120 Explosive95 Ttiinks 121 Owns

Women’s cross country team takes Midwest Conference accolades

By Fred Andersen

The LU women’s cross country team placed four r u n n e r s on the all- conference team as they cruised to the Midwest C o n f e r e n c e c h a m ­pionship last Saturday at Ripon.

Robin Dvorak. Beth

Switzer. .Julio Secor. and Heather Hill each finished in the top ten. while senior J en Aspen, lor the second year in a row, finished one second away from being a ll­conference.

The conference champs will travel to Rock Is la n d . I ll ino is th is weekend to compete in the NCAA Division III regional meet.

The Viking men, last weekend, finished third In their conference race, with Chris Naumann and Tom Cook being selected as all-conference.

Jun io rs Dan Sheridan, Brady Nichols, and Sean Henne all finished in the top 30 in Saturday’s race, placing LU behind only Grinnell and Monmouth in the 10 team field.

Viking football team mayhave found ‘turning point’By Fred Andersen

This y e a r’s Viking football team featured a u n i q u e b l e n d of a cco m p lish e d u p p e r ­classm en and talented f resh m en th a t could prove to be the turning po in t for LU’s once s t r u g g l i n g f o o tb a l l p rogram . The team f in ish e d th e i r 1990 s ea so n la s t S a tu rday with a 14-6 loss to Ripon on a wet, sloppy Banta Bowl field.

Joe Krueger scored for the Vikes in h is last collegiate game on a 20 yard pass reception from Russ Scott.

LU’s defense held the R e d m e n ’s ex p lo s iv e offense to only 219 yards, bu t it was not enough. Ripon took second place In the conference while the Vikings dropped to 4 th in the 5 team Northern Division.

Leading this year’s LU team offensively were Russ Scott, with 1,399 pass ing yards. Robbie E is in g e r , w ith 256 rushing yards, and Ed

I^amm with 38 receptions for 456 yards.

Defensively, Damian LaCroix led with 119 tackles in 9 games. Clint Weninger had a team- high 6 interceptions for LU, who finished the year w ith a 4 -5 m a rk , including a 2-4 record in the Midwest Conference.

Volleyball squad takes fifth1 r i f * l i j w i n l H v n n 11 f r r \ n c i H p r p H a c i i p p a c o cine l,u vuiieyDan team

came into last weekend’s conference tou rnam ent at St. Norbert with a 3-21 record and unsuspecting opponents.

Their 5th place finish c o u ld th e re fo re be

considered a success, as the hard-working Vildng team won their first two m a t c h e s , a g a i n s t Grinnell and Coe, before ev en tu a lly los ing to ch am p io n sh ip b racke t foes Cornell and Beloit.

Men’s, Women’s hoops previewed

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Seventeen players will co m p ete for lim ited playing time on th is year’s m en’s basketball team , w hich sh o u ld p r o v id e LU w ith unparalleled depth and also an opportunity to f in ish f ir s t in the Midwest Conference.

All-everything point guard Matt Miota will lead a talented bunch of e x p e r ie n c e d p lay e rs , which includes 2nd team all-conference selection Joe l D illingham , into battle starting November 20, when LU will take on non-conference o p p o n e n t W isc o n s in Lutheran.

Guards Miota and Ross R y n d e r s , f o r w a r d s D ill in g h am a n d Leo L in n e n m a n s to n s , and cen te r Clint Schneider expect to s ta r t for the Vikes, with many others s ee in g p lay ing tim e throughout the year.

The Midwest Conference

season will begin for LU on January 8 with a game against rival St. Norbert.

The Viking women’s basketball team starts its non-conference season n e x t w e e k e n d in Minnesota, with games Friday against Augsburg and S a tu rday against Macalaster.

The 1990 Midwest C o n fe re n c e c h a m p s r e t u r n n in e le t te r - winners, who with one more year of college baske tba ll experience, should again challenge for the conference title.

Expected s tar ters are sophomores Susan Steele and Krista Tom ter at g u a r d s . s o p h o m o re Vickie L ea th e rs and Junior Sarah O’Neill at f o r w a r d s , a n d so p h o m o re K atherine Lofgren at center.

Defense of the MC title begins Jan u a ry 4th with a home game against Coe.

For more information on Marine Corps Officer Programs see the Marines in the cafeteria 29 Nov or call 1-800-852-3680.