p andemic ed it ion - balbix
TRANSCRIPT
PANDEMICEDITIONPANDEMICEDITION
ANDEMIC EDITIONPANDEMIC EDITIONP2
CHIEF INFORMATIONSECURITY OFFICER
BIG BOSS INFOSEC TEAM MEMBERINFOSEC TEAM MEMBER
CAST OF CHARACTERS
When he took the role of CISO, Ed knew that he would be challenged day in and day out. Cybersecurity has become a whole new ball-game with his current team and he sometimes wonders just how much longer he has before Owen gets phished, Kayla forgets a critical patch, or Donnie down-loads malware.
Janet is the Big Boss, the CIO. She has perfected the art of busy-ness. With all the various areas under her purview, she is often seen moving from one meeting to the other. Her brain works a mile-a-minute and her words flow faster. She has a tight grip on ev-erything, especially CISO Ed’s infosec team.
Who needs a threat intel feed when you have Tara? She knows every CVE and the devices most susceptible to them. Not only is she a smart cookie, but she doesn’t mind flaunting it. Her smartass at-titude gets giggles from Owen throughout the day, but doesn’t always fly with CISO Ed, especially when there’s a code red.
The Tide pod challenge exists for people like Owen. A normal day involves him losing his pen multi-ple times, only to realize that it is behind his ear. Owen was brought onto the team for his extensive experience finding worms. By the time Ed realized that he had been referring to earthworms in his interview, it was too late.
EVERYONE BRINGS JOY TO THIS OFFICE.
SOME WHEN THEY ENTER. OTHERS WHEN THEY LEAVE.
THE CLOSEST A PERSON EVER COMES TO PERFECTION
IS WHEN THEY FILL OUT THEIR JOB APPLICATION FORM.”
PASSWORDS ARE LIKE UNDERWEAR: MAKE THEM
PERSONAL, EXOTIC, AND CHANGE THEM ON A REGULAR BASIS.
EdCHIEF INFORMATION SECURITY OFFICER
JanetBIG BOSS
TaraINFOSEC TEAM MEMBER
OwenINFOSEC TEAM MEMBER
PATCHES ARE FOR PIRATES.
ANDEMIC EDITIONPANDEMIC EDITIONP3
CAST OF CHARACTERS
INFOSEC TEAM MEMBER INFOSEC TEAM MEMBER INFOSEC TEAM MEMBER MARKETING TEAM MEMBER
In every group project, there’s the team member that floats by with-out doing anything. That’s Kayla. She’s got a great smile, but has never really understood the con-cept of work. Lucky for her, every-one else is too consumed with their own tasks to notice.
Cybersecurity professionals are some of the smartest people on the planet. However, there are some exceptions. Donnie might not be the brightest, but he’s got a knack for creative ideas that work (sometimes).
Jasper is a cybersecurity consul-tant. His cocky attitude and hubris can rub people the wrong way, es-pecially when he describes him-self as “an individual who does precise guess-work based on un-reliable data.” But does Jasper care? Oh no! He continues to come up with “ground-breaking” solutions. That it’s your job to find the problems they will solve, is beside the point.
Close your eyes and think of the most annoying marketer you have ever worked with. Now imagine them with long brown hair, a perky demeanor, and a know-it-all attitude. That’s Jessica. She is supposed to inform CISO Ed’s team well in advance of the marketing department launching a new product or spinning up a website page, but does she do it? About 0.7% of the time.
SOMETIME THE BEST PART OF MY JOB IS THAT
THE CHAIR SWIVELS.
I’VE GOT 99 PASSWORDS BUT 123456 AIN’T ONE OF THEM. I ADDED A $ SOMEWHERE TOO.
IF AT FIRST YOU DON’T SUCCEED, TRY DOING WHAT
YOUR CONSULTANT TOLD YOU TO DO THE FIRST TIME.
ONE OF US IS WRONG. AND THE OTHER ONE IS ME.
KaylaINFOSEC TEAM MEMBER
donnieINFOSEC TEAM MEMBER
JasperINFOSEC TEAM MEMBER
JessicaMARKETING TEAM MEMBER
ANDEMIC EDITIONPANDEMIC EDITIONP4
CONGRATULATIONS, OWEN!YOU SOLVED MORE SECURITY ISSUES
THIS MONTH THAN ANY OTHER TEAM MEMBER -- AND DURING QUARANTINE! AS A REWARD, PICK
ANY GIFT YOU WANT!
LATER AT HOME
PICK A GIFT, ANY GIFT!
ANDEMIC EDITIONPANDEMIC EDITIONP5
TARA, YOUR ZOOM VIDEO IS CUTTING OUT AND WE CAN
BARELY HEAR YOU. SOMETHING WRONG
WITH YOUR INTERNET?
HONESTLY, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT’S GOING ON.
IT’S BEEN ACTING FUNNY SINCE WE STARTED “SHELTER IN PLACE”
?
INTERNET PROBLEM?
ANDEMIC EDITIONPANDEMIC EDITIONP6
AFTER WAITING FOR 10 MINUTES ON THE VIDEO CALL
HEY OWEN! SURVIVING QUARANTINE?
DID YOU JUST WAKE UP? IT’S 11:30am. THIS IS SUPPOSED
TO BE BUSINESS AS USUAL!
HE DOESN’T KNOW BUT THIS HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY NAPTIME.
THOUGH MY BED IS A LOT MORE COMFORTABLE THAN MY CUBICLE.
NAP TIME
ANDEMIC EDITIONPANDEMIC EDITIONP7
WELCOME TO OUR FIRST PANDEMIC TEAM ZOOM MEETING.
DONNIE, YOU SEEM A BIT DISTRACTED. EVERYTHING OK?
NO, ED. IT’S BUSINESS AS USUAL,
JUST LIKE YOU ASKED.
FIRST ZOOM MEETING
ANDEMIC EDITIONPANDEMIC EDITIONP8
THE BOARD WANTS TO KNOW IF WE’RE AT HIGHER BREACH RISK WITH
EVERYONE WORKING FROM HOME.HAS ANYONE SEEN MY WORK LAPTOP?
MEANWHILE, AT HOMETHERE IT IS!
BREACH RISK
ANDEMIC EDITIONPANDEMIC EDITIONP9
TARA, HOW’S THAT OLD VPN APPLIANCE HOLDING UP WITH SO MANY
PEOPLE WORKING FROM HOME?
IT’S GROUND TO A HALT. I CAN’T TELL WHAT’S HAPPENING
SINCE I’M USING IT TOO.
IN THE DATA CENTER
THE OLD VPN APPLIANCE
ANDEMIC EDITIONPANDEMIC EDITIONP10
I JUST SENT A NOTE TO EMPLOYEES ON HOW TO
STAY SAFE ONLINE WHILE WORKING FROM HOME GREAT IDEA,
ED!
MEANWHILE, AT HOME
SOFTWARE THAT PREVENTS CORONAVIRUS?
DEFINITELY NEED TO DOWNLOAD THAT!
INSTALLING...
VIRUS PROTECTION
ANDEMIC EDITIONPANDEMIC EDITIONP11
AFTER REMOTE MEETING WITH BOARD OF DIRECTORS
WELL, THAT WAS EASY.
YES, IT WAS GREAT. FOR ONCE MY KIDS
COOPERATED.
ULTIMATE COOPERATION
ANDEMIC EDITIONPANDEMIC EDITIONP12
…AND TO SUMMARIZE MY PITCH, ED, WE ABSOLUTELY GUARANTEE THAT OUR CYBERSECURITY PRODUCT
WILL ELIMINATE ZERO DAYS AND CORONAVIRUS FROM YOUR COMPANY.
SO YOU CAN ELIMINATE ALL MALWARE AND SOLVE A GLOBAL PANDEMIC.
WHAT, NO WORLD HUNGER?
IF YOU BUY, WE’LL ADD THAT
TO THE ROADMAP!
PRODUCT GUARANTEES
ANDEMIC EDITIONPANDEMIC EDITIONP13
CISO ED'S TEAM
THEN
NOW
SOCIAL DISTANCING
BROUGHT TO YOU BY YOUR FRIENDS AT
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