overlooking a profitable part of your business? aegis...

TM

The Funeral Professional’s #1 Resource For Business Growth and Profitability | January/February 2009

• Sustainable Success, Naturally

• Creative Memorialization – The Celebration of Life

PLUS:

TM

Overlooking a Profitable Part of Your Business?aegis™ Makes Monument Sales Lucrative – and Simple. (Turn to page 28)

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SOLUTIONS ON

MARKETING24 How to Make 2009 Your Best Business Year Ever! by Dan Heaman

32 Creative Memorialization – The Celebration of Life by Elizabeth Puckett

40 The Challenge of Helping Families Heal by Melinda Alefs

LEADERSHIP44 Getting Your Ideas Across - A Guide To Building Your Business by Brian Tracy

MANAGEMENT18 Sustainable Success, Naturally by Cynthia Beal

34 Analyzing the Purchase of a Funeral Home by Ronald H. Cooper & Kathy M. Bennett

Monumental News: 3 ways aegis™

Transforms Monument Selling

50 SPECIALTY VEHICLES 52 ADVERTISERS’ INDEX

8 INDUSTRY ALERT 48 BUYER SOLUTIONS

COMPANY SPOTLIGHT26 Pure Country Weavers, Inc. 30 LifeGem

CONTENTS COVER STORY

TM

JANUARY/FEBRUARY2009Vol. 3 | No. 1

28

4 www.funeralbusinessadvisor.comFBA | January/February 2009

Transforming the Difficult

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Funeral Business Advisor Magazine

A FMM MEDIA PUBLICATION 211 Townepark Circle, Suite 200

Louisville, KY 40243 Phone 502.254.7018

Facsimile 502.254.7022

Funeral Business Advisor Magazine is published bi-monthly (6 Issues a year) by FMM Media, LLC. 211 Townepark Circle, Suite 200 Louisville, Kentucky 40243. Subscriptions are free to qualified U.S. subscribers. Single copies and back issues are $7.99 each (United States) and $10.99 each (International). United States Subscriptions are $54.00 annually. International Subscriptions are $65.00 an-nually. Visit www.funeralbusinessadvisor.com for fresh content updated frequently and to access articles on a range of funeral industry topics. FMM Media provides its contributing writers latitude in expressing opinions, advice, and solutions. The views expressed are not necessarily those of FMM Media and by no means reflect any guarantees that material facts are accurate or true. FMM Media accepts no liabil-ity in respect of the content of any third party material appearing in this magazine. Copyright 2007. All rights reserved. Fu-neral Business Advisor Magazine content may not be photocopied or reproduced or redistributed without the consent of publisher.

For questions regarding subscrip-tions, please call 502.254.7018 or email [email protected].

ARTICLE REPRINTSFor high quality reprints of ar-ticles in this issue, contact Michael Manley at 502.254.7018 or via email at [email protected].

January/February 2009

Publisher, Michael Manley [email protected]

Creative Director, Brian [email protected]

The Funeral Professional’s #1 Resource For Business Growth and Profi tability | January/February 2009

• Sustainable Success, Naturally

• Creative Memorialization – The Celebration of Life

• • Sustainable Success, NaturallySustainable Success, Naturally

PLUS:

Overlooking a Profitable Part of Your Business?aegis™ Makes Monument Sales Lucrative – and Simple. (Turn to page 26)

WIN $100Find the Contest

Details Inside

Copy Editor, Christy [email protected]

Editor, Shawn [email protected]

TM

Publisher’s View

Associate Publisher, Lisa Angus [email protected]








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Find the “FBA” logo < > hidden in each issue of our magazine and win $100 from Funeral Business Advisor Magazine. Search our ads thoroughly to find the hidden “FBA” logo somewhere in the magazine. Find the “FBA” logo and submit an entry to be entered into a drawing for $100. Three winners will be randomly drawn each issue and announced in the following issue of Funeral Business Advisor. **

Enter to win by visiting www.FuneralBusinessAdvisor.com and “click” on the Contest Entry link, or fax your response to 502.254.7022. All fax entries must include business name, contact name, email address and phone number. In addition, you must include the page number and the name of the ad where the FBA Symbol is hidden. For this issue, all entries must be received by February 13, 2009 to qualify.

*Special Restrictions: Entries are limited to one per person, per issue. All Winners must agree to have their names listed in Funeral Business Advisor (picture optional).

Find the and win $100 Symbol shown is above is the ACTUAL SIZE as the hidden logo.

THE NEW YEAR2009 is here and upon us. The time of year when New Year’s Resolutions are at the top of everyone’s mind and hopefully have not already become an after thought. I now reflect on the great number of challenges and changes we face heading in 2009. The economy continues to be a concern on the minds of all Americans. However, we do have choices as to how we look at the current economic situation and how we decide to handle our businesses moving forward. I have spent a lot of time thinking about this and have come to the conclusion that in tough times two things can occur: We either fight or we walk away. I assume we are all fighters and like anything else in life, this too shall come to pass.

As with each new year that comes, it is my hypothesis that we all tend to take a look back over our shoulder and evaluate where we have been the past year, so that we can make the necessary changes moving forward. As we look ahead and wonder where we might be going, I am reminded of a quote I once heard by hockey legend, Wayne Gretzky: “While others are going to where the puck is, I’m going to where the puck will be.” That captures what I believe to be the true essence of a winning human spirit that business owners must have to succeed. And as we enter a challenging new year, that spirit is going to be tested if we only look at where we are, instead of where we want to be.

I want to thank all of our contributing writers and advertisers who have made the January/February 2009 Issue a success. Please note below our new contest and I hope you enjoy the issue.

Michael Manley Publisher

This issue’s contest sponsored by SRS Computing

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INDUSTRYALERT

10 www.funeralbusinessadvisor.comFBA | January/February 2009 www.funeralbusinessadvisor.com 11 January/February 2009 | FBA

INDUSTRYALERT


INDUSTRYALERT


MAKING A DIFFERENCE • Exceptional quality • Images carefully restored • Original music • Cinematic scenery • DVD copy-protection

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THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVINGWhen you close the service with a moving production commensurate with the high quality of your funeral home, you can be assured you are providing a means to begin the healing process. As the family leaves with a feeling of love and celebration for the one they’ve lost, you can be confident that as they share the video, they pass along their experience with your funeral home.

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Sustainable Success, Naturally

Cynthia Beal management••••

SOLUTION ON

Last October, I exhibited our firm’s biodegradable coffins and urns at the NFDA’s convention in Orlando. While I was there two things came through loud and clear - 1) there’s a difference between a “natural funeral” and a “natural burial,” with only the funeral director in control of the first half of the equation, and 2) many funeral directors already offer the basics of a natural funeral – they just don’t know it.

Time and again, I heard about funeral directors who already performed the fundamentals of a natural funeral service:

The Funeral1. No embalming or formaldehyde-free embalming in special cases.2. A biodegradable coffin made of natural materials.3. No synthetics permitted in the burial or cremation.4. And that’s about it…

There are plenty of other elements to offer that bring meaning to the celebration while adding the natural touch, creating a more “sustainable” funeral home or cemetery at the same time. But the simple truth is this: a natural funeral is not rocket science, you don’t need certification to offer it, and there’s a good chance that at least 20-30 percent – and maybe more – of the folks walking in your door already want it, so your market’s already here. You just have to let them know you can do it and explain to them how it’s done.

The BurialThe burial, on the other hand, is what happens after the funeral service and consists of, at its core:1. A biodegradable coffin made of natural materials.2. A vault-free burial.3. Appropriate grave depth for decomposition.4. And that’s about it!

Sustainable Cemetery ManagementAfter the funeral and the burial (or cremation, if that’s the option chosen), there’s another separate component we term “sustainable cemetery management,” that describes

how the land the burials take place in, is managed. This typically involves ecologically sound maintenance techniques that reduce or eliminate chemical and energy inputs, create good habitat in the landscape, and provide environmentally friendly memorial options.

I wanted to make this point early, because funeral directors have asked me why they should be interested in natural burial if they don’t run a cemetery. I reminded them that anyone who wants a natural burial probably wants a natural funeral as well, and if the family isn’t opting for a family-directed funeral (or even if they are!) they can benefit from the services of a good funeral service provider who understands how to create a natural funeral service and has the setting to deliver it in.

However, just by calling around the community and finding out which of the local cemeteries offer vault-free burials, you can do a great service to your naturally-minded clients, helping them plan a meaningful funeral that’s in keeping with their own ecological “family values” while assisting them in finding the burial options that are suitable for their situation – again, something funeral directors already do. But funeral service providers need to be able to tell the story. And, in order to tell the story, you need a bit of the history…

Natural Burial -- the English BeginningsStarted in the early 1990’s by Ken West, a professional cemetery manager (now retired) in Carlisle, UK, the woodland burial movement (as it’s commonly known in the UK) took off there, primarily because it satisfied two important needs. First, it lowered the price of cemetery maintenance for managers conscious of the increasing costs of fuel, grounds keeping, water, labor, and land. Second, it appealed to a growing number of people who felt that conventional cemetery operation imposed a burden on future generations and no longer provided the type of memorialization they desired.

Today, there are more than 220 recognized woodland burial grounds throughout the UK offering natural burials

(continued on page 20)

Part I: The End is Near - and it’s a Natural One…

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(vault-free, biodegradable coffins, etc.). More than half of them are city or county run, operated by and for the benefit of taxpayers, while beautifying their communities in the process. There is no formal certification, although West and others utilized the UK’s national cemetery trade association to identify, create and coordinate a set of operating standards in the form of a charter, that cemeteries voluntarily adopted.

But it’s one particular phenomenon - the natural burial, in a woodland setting with a tree memorial - that has caught the public’s imagination more than anything else. And that’s what is causing an increasing number of calls to funeral homes and cemeteries today, asking about natural burial. These folks (and I count myself among them) do this because we have a value system that includes behaving in ways that do less harm to the environment. We spend time and money to live more natural lives, and it is “natural” for us to want to end with more natural funerals as well.

As I stated, if you’re already offering body management services that include no chemical embalming or other synthetic preparations, if you can procure a natural coffin of biodegradable materials, and if you encourage casketing the body without synthetic materials for either burial or

(continued from page 18)

cremation, you’re almost there…

But what do people mean when they say the want a “natural burial” or a “natural funeral?” What do your customers mean when they say that? What do they really want, and how can you provide it for them? Even more importantly, how can you provide it for them sustainably?

What is Sustainability?That’s a tough question to answer and better minds than mine are still working on it. In the vocabulary of the success stories in other businesses you may be familiar with – Whole Foods (a multi-billion dollar upstart barely 20 years old, began as a small corner store in Austin, Texas), General Mills (now using organic grains and with its own Vice President of Sustainability, the man who started the first organic jam company in the US), Real Goods (the premium seller of solar panels and renewable energy equipment), and a growing list of others – “sustainable” means “what works over the long run; that which sustains.”

Sustainability is hard to define for business and it’s also hard to achieve. Sustainability lasts and it sustains those who create and maintain it. One reason the business community has increasingly embraced the concept of sustainability

(even if it’s sometimes reduced to a buzzword) is that it makes a kind of intuitive sense; everyone wants to have a sustainable business. Sustainability works!

And one of the reasons why you often find “natural” products used and/or offered by businesses that openly strive for “sustainability” is because natural things often:1. Cost less to make, especially when the costs of the competition are fully accounted for. 2. Are often more readily available and more easily reproduced, once the market infrastructures are in place. 3. Are less dangerous to process, handle and dispose of. 4. Have a current market advantage –because people currently want them.

All of those qualities affect the bottom line, usually in a positive way. Therefore, natural materials and goods are often equated with sustainability, and sustainability is often considered a smart way to do business.

Serving the Unmet NeedIt’s that last quality in the list – because people want them – that’s the driver for the change. What I’m suggesting is possible in funeral service today, because when you fill the gap of the unmet need you’ll gain a market advantage. For

a variety of reasons market monopolization, complacency, or simply a lack of imagination – there’s an underserved desire that exists among funeral consumers at present. There’s no doubt that at least a certain portion of your clients want something natural by way of a coffin, a service, and a burial. The size of that group remains subject to speculation, but the group exists.

And what they want isn’t that hard to figure out. With just a little bit of focus, and some concentrated attention to your facilities, your product lines, and your bottom line; a number of you will find you’re ideally poised to start serving that group – and you won’t even have to go outside your own doors to find them!

The purpose of this set of articles I’ll be writing over the next few months is designed to give you - the funeral service provider who wants to offer your environmentally-minded clients the natural products and services they truly desire - permission to explore the world you have at your fingertips, your funeral home and your cemetery business, and discover all the natural possibilities just waiting, undeveloped opportunities now ready for your creativity.You don’t need anyone to tell you what to do. You probably


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know it already, and many of you have been planning these changes for years. You certainly don’t need to pay anyone to certify your capacity to clean up the soaps in your dispensers and your laundry, to conserve your water and energy use, to add solar to your roof, to acquire hybrid transportation vehicles when you can afford them, to use natural fibers for your linens, recycled paper for your office, and paper padding instead of plastic for your disposables.

You don’t need to be told how to recycle your packaging, and to support suppliers who do the same; you don’t need instructions on how to select coffins that are made

with renewable and natural materials, and free of toxic chemicals that end up in the air or in the ground, nor to choose florists that offer sustainably grown flower tributes, paper artists to make your paper memorials, local craftspeople for your handmade fine-art urns, and organic coffees and teas and chemical-free juices at receptions. You know all this already.

You may find reminders useful -- and that’s what our articles and pamphlets are all about. But once you’ve been reminded, and once you’ve made the connection between the many natural things that you can do and that set of clients who are currently coming in your door and want to

buy these items and services if you’ll just make them available, you’ll be able to do this -- and a whole lot more -- all on your own.

When I participated in the transformation of the food business from conventional to natural during the 1990’s, one thing stands out that I want to share with FBA readers: don’t expect perfection overnight. Don’t set the bar too high, but also choose a place that you’ll be proud to occupy. If your product or service is more natural than the top ten percent of what’s out there and that’s all you can afford to do right now, you’re doing great! If you can do more, then do so - compete! Your community will shop till they find what they’re looking for, and I do hope you feel the pressure to be among the best. But please remember, the goal is improvement across the board so that the mainstream can change gears. “Natural” isn’t for the few. It’s for the many. Transition is a process. And changing for the right reasons in order to do more of the right things, can be a very rewarding process indeed. FBA

Cynthia Beal is the Founder of the Natural Burial Company. She is also the author of a forthcoming book, “Be a Tree, the natural burial guide for turning yourself into a forest.” She may be contacted by phone at 503-493-9258, or by email at [email protected] or visit www.naturalburialcompany.com.


1-877-874-1611

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marketing solution

How to Make 2009 Your Best Business Year Ever!

Dan Heaman marketing••••

SOLUTION ON

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I was speaking with a funeral home owner the other day who responded to the old standby, “How’s business?” with a rather odd answer.

“The year’s been okay…no loss, no gain.” I could almost hear the relief in his voice that his business hadn’t lost any ground.

But is that the way we should operate? Should we be glad that we’ve maintained the status quo? Do you celebrate mediocrity? Does being average put more money in the bank? As the year winds to a close, now is an excellent time to re-examine where you are right now, and make a commitment as to where you want to be next year at this time. Do you want to be relieved that your business didn’t falter? Or would you rather be toasting your ferocity, your commitment and your success?

This is the perfect opportunity to take a look at your firm or perhaps a location that’s not growing or performing to your expectations. Start at the curb and work your way inside the funeral home. Does the curb appeal need to be enhanced? Now is the time to get bids to spruce up the landscape. Add a fresh coat of paint. Have the parking lot re-sealed (which looks almost as good as re-paving at a fraction of the cost). Consider adding an unforgettable feature to the front…such as a large, brightly colored flower garden or a memorial tribute flagpole. You can also enhance a feature that’s already there. Make sure that whatever you do, it jumps out at people passing by!

While we are looking at what people see on the outside, this is also the time to take a look at your advertising and marketing. Just how long have you been using that ad with your family picture on it? And is anyone looking at it anymore, other than you? What about that same radio spot you’ve been running since ’98…let’s put that one into the hall of fame and let a rookie get some airtime, eh? Remember that people are spending less time reading the paper and more time watching TV and listening to the radio.

Adjust your marketing sights accordingly. The easier you make it for someone to see/hear your message, the more likely you are to get and keep their attention. Television watching and radio listening are activities people can do while doing other things, unlike sitting down and reading the paper. Don’t let advertising dollars become recycle bin fodder.

Have you hosted any community events this year? How was the response? A couple of big events a year and a monthly small one is a great way to reach out to the community, prove you care and begin establishing a relationship with families. Your preneed counselor will get a lot further cold-calling someone who had been to your Fall Festival/4th of July Ice Cream Social/Veteran’s Day Tribute than someone who hasn’t. You can smartly and easily use these events to build a database of prospects for your preneed department to use all year long! Better yet, eliminate the cold-calling all together. It’s one of the most difficult ways to try and sell funeral/cemetery products and services. Try some great direct mail pieces or a well-written sales letter. Give the phones and your prospects a rest for a few weeks and try some handwritten notes! You might be surprised at the results!

Does your interior space need a makeover? Remember that every contact is marketing, and when someone comes in for a visitation they are consciously (and subconsciously) making mental notes about your firm in case they need it. Worn furniture and carpeting, dated décor, gloomy lighting, no lounge or food space, grim and unfriendly employees all add up to be one big FREE advertisement for your competition! Perhaps, it’s time for a change! People WILL notice.

Your staff is a crucial part of your image as well. Is your phone being answered in a friendly way? Or do your callers get the old “Smith Funeral Home” and nothing else? Are your greeters warm and helpful? Do they actually stand up and greet visitors? Or do they sit in a chair and simply point to the visitation space? One way helps your business and the other helps your competition.

You’ve got a lot of questions to answer. Smartly invest in your business and your bank account will grow accordingly. Note, that I said smartly and not CHEAPLY. Being cheap mostly does more harm than good. And one final step-don’t forget to figure in a good raise for your loyal hard-workers, lest they cease to be loyal or hard-working! Making small improvements like the ones suggested here just might make 2009 your best year ever! FBA

Dan Heaman, The Guerrilla Director, is a licensed Funeral Director, Certified Funeral Service Practitioner and Certified Guerrilla Marketing Coach. He specializes in funeral service marketing and public relations, having worked with both family and corporate owned locations. You can contact him through his website www.guerrilladirector.com or email him at [email protected].

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Pure Country Weavers, Inc.Location: 81 Skylar Rd.Lynn, NC 28750Tel: 800-233-0439

Contact:John Sparacino [email protected]

Company Spotlight

Who is Personalized Funeral Products and what products do you provide? Pure Country Weavers, Inc. is part of a second generation - Made in America - family business. We weave cotton blankets for the gift industry and are the world’s largest weaver of high end wall tapestries for art galleries worldwide. How did Pure Country Weavers get involved in the funeral industry? We developed a product in our gift line whereby we can weave a photo into a blanket. It sold very well in gift stores, but we soon discovered that many of these gifts were for bereavement and memorial purposes. About a year ago we started researching the funeral industry and through focus groups, identified the unique needs of the industry. This caused us to develop systems for rapid production to meet the overnight demands of the funeral directors. What makes the product unique? We are unique because our blankets are all WOVEN-not printed. The shear size of the 54” x 70” blanket and the impact it has when first revealed to a family is extraordinary. Our woven photo blankets allow someone to have a hug from a lost loved one and have been proven to be therapeutic in the grieving process. The blankets are machine washable, will not shrink or fade and are designed to be used by the family. A recent email from a partner funeral director sums it up best:

I received my first order from personalizedfuneralproducts.com and was thrilled with the colors, the quality, and how the photo turned out. The family was overwhelmed with this tribute. The wife took the throw from me, wrapped herself in it, and said, “My husband is still keeping me warm!” Paul, PA.

This gift is special and will be treasured forever as a family heirloom.

What are the benefits to funeral homes using Personalized Funeral Products?

Our product will definitely add significant revenues to your bottom line if you utilize our “self-propagating” marketing strategy. Funeral homes make fantastic add on sales with this product as whole families order copies of blankets after the service. Another benefit is that this product also gets visibility in the family home. Everyone that comes to visit them will see the blanket on the couch or chair and it becomes a natural conversation piece. This creates great word of mouth “where did you get it” advertising for the funeral home. How does your company provide a solution for Funeral Homes?

Pure Country Weavers provides solutions for the families while providing numerous opportunities for funeral homes. For instance:

• Every family that you help and everyone that comes for a visitation or memorial service will see the blankets. This gives opportunities for significant non-funeral related sales like anniversaries, holidays, pets, gifts, etc. all year long.

• Our complete line of stock blanket products is available to sell as gifts for others to give to the families. These include hundreds of choices of beautiful full color inspirational,

religious, sympathy, military and occupational blankets.

• When financial restraints present themselves, you can easily show a family how to use a blanket in place of a casket spray, casket cover or as an incredible backdrop for a memorial service or closed casket showing. How would a potential Funeral Home contact Personalized Funeral Products for more information? We have the “plan for success” if a funeral home will follow our plan.

Contact: John Sparacino - Senior Vice-President Phone: 800-233-0439 Ext. 501Email: [email protected]: www.personalizedfuneralproducts.com

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COVER STORY COVER STORY

Monumental News: 3 Ways aegis™Transforms Monument Selling

Smaller profits Delays and hassles Tedious paperwork

60-100% more profitable Done in an hour or less Simple & easy Larger sales Greatest consumer experience

aegis™ processstandard process

Monument Process Comparison

Funeral home owner Scott Hersberger admits that selling monuments and memorials to his families wasn’t always a priority. The hassles, headaches and risks inherent in the monument process were just too uncontrollable and time-consuming.

Then he was introduced to aegis™. Immediately, selling monuments became easy – and a growing source of significant revenue.

“When I first heard about the aegis process, I couldn’t get them here fast enough,” comments Scott. “One day after signing on with aegis, I sold a $12,000 monument. In just 30-45 minutes the design was finalized and approved by the family, the drawings were printed out, the paperwork was completed and I earned a profit of $6,000 in one-third the time I would typically spend on a monument sale.”

If you have stayed away from selling monuments because it’s too time consuming and not worth the hassle, aegis may be the solution for you. If you currently provide monuments but don’t like the process, aegis can help you as well.

What is aegis?aegis is a web-based system that allows you to design and personalize monuments and markers. With the click of a mouse you start a simple process that gives you access to:

1000s of design options•100s of granite and bronze products•3-D monument models•Complete laser-etching library•Life-like granite colors•Porcelain and laser portraits•

Families see their monument right away, in true color and 3-D, so design modifications and approval can be done at once. The aegis system then automatically generates the price of the memorial, renders the memorial and creates the paperwork for customer agreements and manufacturer order forms. The average time from start to order submission is just one hour, eliminating, on average, four weeks. aegis, or the manufacturer of your choosing, can supply the finished memorial.

By taking advantage of a 30-day FREE trial, available at http://freetrial.aegis3d.com or by calling 866-488-8881, you will discover firsthand 3 ways aegis will transform your monument sales.

#1. Monument Sales Made Easy.The frustrating, time-consuming details of monument sales are literally eliminated with aegis. With this user-friendly, Internet-based process – compatible with most funeral home management software – there is NO MORE:

Waiting for approval drawings•Sifting through brochures for design •ideas Faxing and refaxing •Complex pricing and paperwork•Need for technical or CAD •experienceSurrendering control•

Instead, you control the simplified process. Design options are at your fingertips and changes can be made

instantly. Because families see their rendering in 3-D and true colors, risk of disappointment is eliminated. The automatic pricing and customer agreement and order documents save you time and headaches. Rather than a drawn-out process requiring attention and oversight during as much as four weeks, the sale is wrapped up in an hour – sometimes even less.

“Time wise, aegis is a huge benefit,” notes Brian Love of Bailey Love Mortuary in Huntington, Indiana. “Small changes can be made on the spot, the pricing calculated and the automated purchase agreements created. Best of all, there is no waiting for approval drawings.” Brian appreciates the ease of the system, too. “aegis is very user-friendly, unlike other design options which require CAD skills.” To start transforming your monument sales process, get a FREE 30-day trial at http://freetrial.aegis3d.com or call 866-488-8881.

#2. Monument Sales: A Significant Source of Revenue. Identifying productive sources of revenue is a growing challenge in the funeral industry. The increasing percentage of cremations results in lost revenue. Using the aegis system may transform monument sales from a hassle

to a certain way to replace revenue lost to cremation.

Consider this: the gross profit on a direct cremation in a Midwestern city is typically $375. Compare that to the average gross profit on a monument sold using the aegis system. It is an impressive $1,500 – more than four times the amount from a cremation. And because the aegis approach takes, on average, just one hour, it is both a practical and profitable option for increased revenue.

When your families can see the many options available to them and can create and view their monument on the spot, they typically choose a more significant memorial. aegis users report that their unit sales average twice as much.

aegis not only makes you money, it saves you money. By streamlining the process to just an hour, aegis gives you and your staff two valuable hours. Time you would have spent overseeing the tedious process is now available for other revenue-producing tasks.

Are you overlooking a most profitable side of your business? To see how aegis can replace revenue lost to cremation, visit http://freetrial.aegis3d.com or call 866-488-8881.

#3. Monument Sales: A Satisfying Consumer Experience.The aegis process focuses on providing the greatest possible consumer experience, for you and your families. While the aegis system is easy to use, a knowledgeable staff is readily available to answer your questions, offer advice and provide the necessary training and tools for getting maximum results from aegis. They’re just a phone call, an e-mail or instant message away. Because satisfying your families is the key to your ongoing success.








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aegis by the numbers.

In 2006, Scott Hersberger sold 10 monuments at an average price of $1,600.

Time spent per order: 3 hours

In 2007, using aegis Scott sold 20 monuments at an average price of $3,200.

Time spent per order: 1 hour

Can the aegis process significantly increase your revenue? There is one easy way to find out. Log on to http://freetrial.aegis3d.com or call 866-488-8881 for our FREE 30-day trial.

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LifeGemLocation: 836 Arlington Heights Rd. #311Elk Grove Village, IL 60007Tel: 866-543-3436

Contact: www.lifegem.com

Company Spotlight

Who is LifeGem and what product or service do you provide?

LifeGem was formed in 2001 after three years of intense research to create the most unique memorial product ever invented, the LifeGem created diamond. The patented LifeGem is a certified, high-quality diamond created from the carbon of a loved one as a memorial to their unique life. The carbon is captured from a standard eight ounce cup of cremated remains, or a lock of hair. The LifeGem Created Diamond helps fulfill the growing need in today’s funeral services industry of providing families with a more individualized and personalized approach to memorializing their loved ones.

How did LifeGem get involved in the funeral industry?

When LifeGem announced the news that they could create a diamond from the carbon of a loved one, the LifeGem Memorial Diamond was reported in over 500 newspapers and thousands of TV and radio stations worldwide. As a result of this world wide coverage, families started requesting the LifeGem from their local funeral directors. In many cases, family members would walk into a funeral home holding a newspaper clipping and explaining to the funeral director that they wanted a diamond from the cremated remains. Funeral directors then sprang into action and called LifeGem to gather all the relevant information. This process started with our first funeral partner Doug Ahlgrim of Ahlgrim Family Funeral home in 2002 and expanded to over 1,350 funeral homes nationwide by 2008.

What Makes the LifeGem Memorial Diamond unique?

The LifeGem is a real diamond made in a lab from a specific source of carbon, the carbon from a human being. The LifeGem diamond is a personalized diamond created using carbon captured from a lock of hair (five grams) and or an eight ounce cup of the cremated remains. It is the most personal and unique diamond in the world.

What are the benefits of funeral homes offering the LifeGem?

By offering the LifeGem, a funeral home provides a product that will ease the grieving process and provide everlasting comfort to a family. It’s a natural extension of what the funeral home already does for families. Many families are referred to our funeral partners via the online directory. This is a valuable referral tool that allows for funeral homes to offer all their other services to a family in addition to the LifeGem. By offering the LifeGem, funeral homes are also letting the community know that they are in touch with the latest trends and technologies available.

How does the LifeGem provide a solution for the funeral home?

With cremation on the rise, funeral homes are looking for ways to replace the revenues that would normally come from the sale of a casket and vault. The LifeGem diamond is a very real and very permanent memorial option that can take the place of a traditional service when a family chooses cremation. LifeGem clients are very enthusiastic about their memorial diamonds. They wear their diamonds proudly and take them everywhere they go.

How would a potential funeral home contact LifeGem for more information?

Getting started with LifeGem is easy. Just call 1-866-543-3436 for your intro kit. LifeGem provides a free startup kit which includes a beautiful acrylic display that holds 25 brochures, a free informational DVD, a customer shipping kit and a Business Partner Booklet - your manual for processing orders.

For more information on LifeGem Memorial Diamonds contact them at 866-543-3436 or visit them at www.lifegem.com.

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Creative Memorialization – The Celebration of a Life

Elizabeth Puckett marketing••••

SOLUTION ON

So much planning, so many details, notification of family and friends, obituaries, visitation, music selection, funeral and graveside services… for the bereaved, the number of decisions that have to be made is overwhelming, especially at a time when everything feels completely out of control. Time is limited

and yet everything must be “perfect.” This is your calling…to gently, yet firmly guide a grieving family to make appropriate choices; ones that will continue to bring them comfort for years to come. As the expert, it is your objective to gain each client’s trust and instill confidence in your ability to manage the many

tasks that must be completed. You bear a tremendous responsibility, but with the number of resources available, you are well equipped to handle it.

Meeting the expectations of your clients is a tall order, yet that’s where the creativity and professionalism of your funeral home staff has an opportunity to shine. Whether the family elects to have a traditional burial service or cremation, there are hundreds of products and options available to personalize every service, honor each life in a meaningful way, and provide lasting comfort to your clients. Aftercare is an important part of your service to each client. Use your time with them to develop a lasting memorial to honor their loved one.

It is the life of the individual – not their death – that determines the wayin which they will be memorialized. Death is the inevitable end to every

life, but the impact an individual made on the lives of others is the cornerstone for building an

appropriate tribute.

Your responsibility is to ensure that every person who comes to your funeral home leaves with the satisfaction of knowing that their loved one was properly honored. From the time one arrives and signs the Guest Register, until they give that “one last hug” as they leave the gravesite, you are constantly creating settings where they may put things in perspective. You have the honor of giving them an opportunity to celebrate a life!

Regardless of the type of service, sadness and grief will always be present. Yet, the spirit of the deceased lives on in the hearts and minds of those in attendance. By developing an atmosphere that celebrates the life of the individual, you start the process of building a memorial to them. You help family and friends alike find comfort in having been blessed to

have known and loved the departed. No one wants or deserves a “generic” funeral, so guide your clients in the selection of appropriate tributes to remember special events, hobbies or character traits that honor the deceased in a very personal way.

Looking through pictures and photo albums or finding comfort in owning personal items that allow them to “stay connected” to the deceased, are typical ways that people deal with loss. The telling of stories that reflect the personality and interests of the deceased brings friends and family together to comfort one another. As the funeral director, you can request photos or personal items and use these resources to help those in attendance take home good thoughts and fond memories.

“I remember how he always loved that hand-carved walking stick.” “There’s a picture of Lois with her first grandbaby. She was so excited when he arrived.”

There are hundreds of products available and many methods of creating a positive memorial for any individual. From the style of the Guest Register and “In Memory” folders, to the placement of a service portrait or a meaningful personal item in the room where guests are received; these are things you can control. A video or photo display showing the deceased interacting with family and friends allows guests to “Remember when…” An attractively designed memorial folder can be a positive conversation starter at a time when words are hard to find. Make it your goal to have each guest take away more than they came with. Help them find peace.

In designing your pre-packaged service options, be open to new ideas. Include highly personalized products that can be taken from the service as a memento by the guests as well as family members. You may also want to select meaningful memorial gifts that can be delivered to the client’s home after the services are over. Aftercare visits work well in tandem with the presentation of preneed insurance plans, allowing you to capitalize on these additional opportunities to have contact with your client in a home setting. They will be more relaxed and receptive when approached with the thoughtfulness of a personalized memorial gift.

Whether you are involved in providing at-need services, or assisting a client with preneed arrangements, make it a point to offer a variety of products and services that provide dignified memorialization at all budget levels. Think beyond the burial and present your client with several tribute options that will help fill the unspoken needs. The bereaved have entrusted their loved one to your care. Do not let them leave your funeral home empty-handed. Have a display of memorial products and brochures depicting ways to keep the memory of a loved one alive. Lead your clients toward creating a tribute that will turn this event into an opportunity to truly honor the individual who has passed. You are instrumental in creating a lasting memorial. What a gift it is to help someone choose to “celebrate” the life of a loved one! FBA

Elizabeth Puckett is the Marketing Development Coordinator of Reflections Commemorative Portraits. She can be contacted at 423.854.8632, or by email at [email protected]. For more information, visit www.reflectionsCP.com.

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Analyzing the Purchase of a Funeral Home

Ronald H. Cooper management••••

SOLUTION ON

How much is the funeral home worth and how much can I afford to pay? These questions are often asked by those aspiring to become a funeral home owner or looking to acquire a competitor. This article will identify the financial information required to answer this question, discuss a method often used to determine the purchase price, outline the financial analysis required to determine if the operations of the new funeral home will pay for itself, review what lenders look for when evaluating loan applications, and surmise the steps all potential buyers should take in order to protect themselves from potential problems.

Gathering of Financial InformationThe first step in this process is to obtain as much financial information as possible about the target funeral home before making an offer. Relevant financial information includes, but is not limited to, the following: (1) tax returns for the past five years; (2) financial statements for the current and past five years, if available; (3) statements of goods and services for the current and past five years; (4) a summary of call volume broken down by types of services for the current and past five to seven years; (5) business or real estate appraisals completed within the past three to five years. This financial information and additional data are the building blocks for properly assessing the viability of the acquisition. A complete financial analysis will also help to minimize the risk of overpayment.

How to Determine the Purchase Price – The Revenue MultipleThe price that is paid for a funeral home must be an amount that provides the purchaser with a reasonable return on his investment. This return should provide the owner with the ability to meet its debt obligations, pay all operating bills, and provide the owner with sufficient money to meet his or her personal and financial objectives. One method of determining this price is to take the funeral home’s net revenues and multiply it by a number that is referred to as the revenue multiple. A revenue multiple essentially measures the value of a business relative to the revenues it

generates. This article will not cover how one derives this multiple, as it can vary depending upon the geographical location of the funeral home and a myriad of other factors. Currently, in the funeral home acquisition market, the revenue multiple is somewhere in the range of 1.5 to 2.5 for a typical “turnkey” funeral home business (one which includes real estate, inventories, automobiles, furniture, fixture and equipment, and goodwill).

The other important piece in this equation is the calculation of net revenues. For purposes of the revenue multiple valuation method, a funeral home’s net revenues is determined by taking total funeral revenues (total of all statement of goods and services) minus cash advances. For example, a funeral home with projected gross revenues of $545,000, including cash advances of $45,000 would be valued between $750,000 and $1,250,000. Although this equation appears to be relatively simple and straight forward on the surface, it is designed to answer the most important and critical aspect of buying a funeral home – can it pay for itself? However, given that revenue multiples can have a range of approximately 1%, which can result in a significant valuation range depending on the net revenues of a funeral home, this computation must be supplemented with additional analyses. There are many other factors to be considered when determining a fair and reasonable value to pay for a funeral home that go beyond the numbers. These factors and variables will be addressed later. But first, it is of utmost importance that the buyer goes into the deal with a thorough understanding of the funeral home’s financial position and potential. Thus, the next step in evaluating the viability of acquiring a new funeral home is an analysis of its cash flow.

Cash Flow AnalysisA cash flow statement (also referred to as statement of cash flows or cash flow analysis) shows a funeral home’s flow of cash coming in and going out from its normal operations. It tells where the money is coming from and how it is being spent. The net result represents the amount of cash that is available to pay its debt (principle and interest) and


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taxes. The target funeral home’s tax return and financial statements are the starting point for this analysis. Once prepared, it can be used in assessing the reasonableness of the purchase price and in predicting future cash flow. However, in making future projections, it is paramount to understand that cash flow analyses are based on historical financial information. Whereas projections are made using averages and estimates. Thus, future expected financial results can never be certain.

A Lender’s PerspectiveComing up with a reasonable purchase price is all well and good. The question is – how are you going to pay for it? Thus, all potential funeral home buyers must understand the lender’s perspective. A lender’s primary concern is will they be paid back? The lender will require you to put the funeral home building up as collateral; they don’t want to end up owning a funeral home. Therefore, in their acquisition analysis, lenders will attempt to measure the funeral home’s ability to produce enough revenue to cover its monthly mortgage payments. This is called a debt-coverage ratio. The higher the ratio, the easier it is to borrow money for the property. This ratio is calculated by taking the annual net operating income (which does not include interest, depreciation, or amortization) and dividing it by the total debt service (principal plus interest).

The issue when acquiring a funeral home, is that the net operating figure is not yet known. In addition, lenders will have a pre-determined debt-coverage ratio requirement based on the industry and geographical location of the target business. In general, lenders in the funeral home industry will require a minimum coverage of 1.2, with most requiring a minimum coverage of 1.5. Here is where the cash flow analysis comes into play. For example, let’s assume that your target funeral home generates cash flow of $150,000. This means that your annual debt payments

cannot exceed $125,000 (cash flow divided by the debt-coverage-ratio 1.2). However, in most instances the lender would adjust that to $120,000. The resulting loan amount can be backed into using this figure and the following assumptions: equal monthly payments of principal and interest of $10,000 ($120,000/12 = $10,000 per month), 15 year amortization period, 8% stated interest rate: Maximum loan amount: $1,046,406. Of course this maximum amount will vary depending upon the cash flow figure, interest rate, and amortization period.

Buyer’s Due DiligenceOnce you have performed the above analyses, there is one more important step that must occur before completing a purchase transaction – buyer’s due diligence. The likelihood of achieving projected financial results is greatly increased when accurate and pertinent information is obtained and properly evaluated through this due diligence process. In many instances, this process is divided into segments with limited information being available until a purchase and sale agreement is signed. However, under no circumstances should a buyer be restricted from securing complete and accurate information prior to the final closing on the transaction. The goal is for a potential buyer to seek as much information as possible about the funeral home that will support his or her decision to offer a particular amount. The first and most important step in the due diligence process is to verify the number of calls and the related revenues for the past three to five years. This is accomplished by obtaining copies of the statements and goods and services and summarizing each case on an excel spreadsheet. This analysis should be prepared for each year and the total revenues for each year should be compared to the revenues reported on the tax returns and financial statements for those same years. If there are significant differences between the amounts shown on the analyses and the amounts on the tax


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in accordance with state rules, regulations, and laws. If the funeral home has used funeral insurance products, it is incumbent on the prospective buyer to not only review the contracts and policies but to also obtain as much financial information about the insurance provider as possible. Insurance funeral providers have been affected by the recent tumult in the financial markets and their ability to pay full benefits might be in jeopardy. ACA Assurance of Manchester, New Hampshire, who provided funeral policies to funeral homes in New Hampshire and Vermont, is presently only paying 75% of the total policy value. Preneed contracts represent future revenues and it is important that the values of the investments or insurance policies at the time of death are at least equal to the future prices on the general price lists.

SummaryThere is much information to be obtained and a great many questions to be answered in determining a reasonable purchase price of a funeral home. After the above steps have been completed, the potential buyer should have a good feel for whether the historical call volume or revenues will be sustainable. One sure recipe for financial failure is the inflation of expected revenues by assuming

returns, the seller or his or her representative should provide details to explain the discrepancies. The prospective buyer needs to then assess whether these explanations are accurate and reasonable.

There is one thing to note with cash basis funeral reporting. If the target funeral home’s tax return and financial statements were prepared on the cash basis, as opposed to the accrual basis, the revenues reported on the tax returns and financial statements will be the total cash collected from families for the year. Thus, total revenues reported on the cash basis will normally differ from the revenues reported using the statements of goods. But on an average basis over a three to five year period, this difference should not be greater than 5-10%. If the revenues on the tax returns are greater or less than 5-10%, this is a red flag regarding the accuracy of the tax returns. This discrepancy should be resolved before moving forward with the purchase. This verification of the target funeral home’s revenues also plays an important part when using the revenue multiple for determining the purchase price.

Another step in the due diligence process is to ascertain whether the preneed contracts have been properly funded

that call volume will increase, or by assuming large price increases can be implemented. The expected future or budgeted revenues must be calculated using sound and realistic assumptions. Each potential funeral home owner should understand that protecting or growing future market share and maintaining or growing revenues is paramount to achieving financial success. Other important factors to investigate and evaluate are the demographics of the funeral home and the increase in the cremation rate. In communities that are experiencing sharp increases in cremation rates, an analysis should be prepared to determine the impact on future revenues.

For many funeral directors, owning and operating a funeral home is a dream come true. But, a dream can turn into a nightmare if the amount paid for the business is more than the funeral home can afford. The overall process of evaluating the financial merits of a particular funeral home involves much time and effort. Each potential funeral home buyer should be able to answer this very simple question before making a purchase: “Can I reasonably expect the business to generate adequate cash to pay the expenses, retire the debt, and compensate me?”

Another complicating factor is the current economic and lending state of affairs. A prospective borrower will most likely be required to have an excellent credit history and sufficient funds for a down payment. The availability of funds provided by lending institutions for funeral home acquisitions and the terms of the loans will also have a direct impact on the selling price. The final purchase price and the borrowing terms under which the transaction is consummated will have a tremendous effect on future operations. Prospective buyers should seek professional assistance from attorneys and CPAs who understand the nuances involved with the purchase of a funeral home.

This information was presented to give prospective buyers a broad overview of the process involved in purchasing a funeral home. Buyers should seek professional assistance before making final decisions. FBA

Ronald H. Cooper, CPA and Kathy M. Bennett, CPA are funeral home accountants with Cooper & Associates, CPA, LLC. They can be contacted at 866.446.0656, or by email at [email protected].


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The Challenge of Helping Families Heal

Melinda Alefs marketing••••

SOLUTION ON

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Something missing from your Funeral Home operations?

Every day, funeral industry professionals face an unenviable task: helping grief-stricken customers after the devastating loss of a loved one. Whether old or young, spouse or sibling, friend or family member, the joy that the dearly departed bring to our lives is truly irreplaceable. Let us consider that the service we provide isn’t limited to helping grieving customers through the necessary steps of arranging the memorial service and burial. We have an opportunity to reach far beyond that and find a way to provide true comfort to the bereaved.

Some common ways of serving families are useful in the beginning, but do not help meet their long-term needs. The pre-prepared meals that are delivered and the initial visits are comforting, but soon leave the grieving family forgotten.

The colorful flower arrangements that provide cheer will soon wither and die. This means that when the final visitor has come and gone, the family is left all alone, with nothing to guide them through the days of grief and uncertainty that lie ahead.

We all know that wounds of the soul are much more difficult to deal with than those of the body, so perhaps we should consider a new way of serving our families. There is a gift many funeral homes choose that can offer nourishment, beauty, hope and solace: the gift of the Holy Bible.

The Bible has provided families of every era, culture and location comfort and strength in times good and bad. Inspired by God and written by some of the world’s most noted

theologians, the Scriptures contain everlasting guidance and hope that can be relied on by those left behind, no matter where they are in the grieving process. In many instances, even those that profess no faith at all have looked to the Bible for hope and encouragement during times of grieving.

When given preneed, the Bible can help families prepare for the impending departure of a loved one by reminding them that they will be moving onto a better place. And while you can never prevent the hurt that death inevitably brings, knowing that their spirit lives on can provide solace when that time comes. Of course, many times a loved one dies with little or no warning. By giving the Bible at-need, the faithful immediately have a place to turn to in their search for the answer to the most bewildering question of all: “Why?”

And as an aftercare gift, families can return to its passages again and again,


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finding new meaning not only in the words before them, but in their own lives as they continue forward without their loved one.

McNett Funeral Home in Andrews, Texas has been giving Bibles to their families since 1990, according to Funeral Director, Eddie McNett. The response has been overwhelming. “After everyone is gone and they are all alone, Bible passages can be uplifting to loved ones left behind,” says McNett. “They always mention the Bible when they send us thank you cards.”

In addition to serving as a spiritual support, the Bible can help you reach out to other families. Nearly two-thousand years old, the Bible is the most revered book in the history of mankind — not the kind of gift that is simply discarded. In fact, a beautifully-designed Bible can become more than just another book on the shelf. It may remain on display in a family’s home for many years, a cherished keepsake that provides a concrete reminder of the care and consideration you’ve shown.

Some Bibles have special presentation pages, which are ideal for memorializing the family member lost. Some also contain a family record section where families can record the evolution of their family tree, from each newborn baby to each passing. These valuable additions can turn your gift into a true heirloom, passed on from generation to generation. And by keeping it on display, it can also become a conversation piece for visitors to the family’s house — which means that your funeral home’s name will be on the lips of potential customers for a long time after the burial.

Aside from the years of lasting inspiration, one other benefit of giving a Bible is the surprisingly low cost involved. There are a number of deluxe Bibles on the market — complete with luxurious padded covers, easy-to-read type printed on specialty grade papers, full color inserts and more — available for less than $25. Compare that to the cost of a specially-designed flower arrangement or even a day’s worth of food, and you’ll see that the return on your investment far surpasses other services.

It’s likely that you’ll run across many different faiths in the families that you serve, so it’s important to know that one Bible doesn’t necessarily fit all. Fortunately, there are

many different translations available on the market. For Protestant families, for example, the King James Version of the Bible is the most commonly used. For Catholics, the New American Bible translation is appropriate, as well as the Douay Rheims translation. There are several Spanish language translations on the market, and there are even versions that honor the heritage of the African-American family.

Try as you might, the time you spend with families in their time of need is rarely adequate in lessening the pain in their hearts. It is a whirlwind time for them and between family and friends, their attention will be pulled in many different directions. But after things settle down, they will finally begin the long process of coming to terms with their loss. And that is when your gift of the Holy Bible will mean the most. FBA

Melinda Alefs is an Account Representative at Heirloom Bible Publishers. She can be contacted at 1.800.676.2448, ext. 112, or by e-mail at [email protected].

“These valuable additions can turn your gift into a true heirloom, passed on from generation to

generation.”


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Getting Your Ideas Across - A Guide to Building Your Business

Brian Tracy leadership••••

SOLUTION ON


Over the years, I’ve learned that fully 85 percent of what you accomplish in your career and in your personal life will be determined by how well you get your message across and by how capable you are of inspiring people to take action on your ideas and recommendations.

You can be limited in other respects- by education, contacts and intelligence- but if you can interact effectively with others, minute-by-minute and hour-by-hour, your future can be unlimited.

I am going to share with you some ideas, techniques and skills that you can use to accelerate your progress toward power communication. But first, there are two major myths about communication that must be dispelled.

The first myth, which many people believe, is that because they can talk, they can communicate with others. Men especially, according to the research, think that by speaking louder and faster, they’re more effective in dealing with people. Many people think that because they have the gift of gab, because they have no problem talking to others on any subject that comes to mind, they’re good communicators.

Often, exactly the opposite is true. Many people who talk a lot are often poor communicators- even terrible communicators. Many people in sales and business think that being able to string a lot of words together in a breathless fashion makes them excellent at getting a message understood by others. However, in most cases, those people are seen as boring or obnoxious, or both.

Let me say this slowly and clearly: The ability to talk is not the same as the ability to communicate. As I will discuss later, the ability to communicate is the ability both to send and to receive a message. The ability to communicate is the ability to make an impact on the thoughts, feelings and actions of someone. Many people who consider themselves excellent talkers are not very effective at all in this regard.

So let’s dispel the first myth, the myth that talking is equal to communicating. Don’t allow yourself to become complacent. The ability to talk to one or more persons is only the basic requirement for communication. It’s the starting point. It’s the jumping-off place. Effective communication is something else again.

The second myth about effective communication is that it’s a skill that people are born with. Either you have it or you don’t have it. If you’re not extroverted, gregarious and outgoing, you don’t have what it takes to be a good communicator.

Again, nothing could be further from the truth. Communication is a skill that you can learn. It’s like riding a bicycle or typing.

It takes time and practice, over and over. But if you’re willing to work at it, you can rapidly improve the quality of every part of your life, as you will soon see.

Communication requires both a sender and a receiver. The process of communication happens rapidly, and this same process takes place whenever two or more people exchange ideas. First, the sender thinks of an idea or image that he or she wishes to convey to the receiver. The sender then translates the idea or image into a form, or words, either written or spoken. Those words constitute the basic message that is transmitted to the receiver. The receiver catches the words, like a baseball player catches a baseball, and then translates the words into the ideas and pictures that they represent in order to understand the message that was sent.

The receiver then acknowledges receipt, and replies by translating his or her ideas and pictures into words and transmitting them to the sender. When the message has been sent and the receiver has acknowledged receiving it by transmitting a response that the sender receives, accepts and understands, the communication is complete.

If this sounds complicated, it is. Probably 99 percent of all the difficulties between human beings, and within organizations, are caused by breakdowns in the communication process. Either the senders do not say what they mean clearly enough, or the receivers do not receive the message in the form in which it was intended.

An enormous number of factors can interfere in any communication, and every one of them can lead to a distortion of the message in some way. Probably every problem you’ll ever have will be somehow associated with a failure or breakdown in the communication process.

Let me explain.According to Albert Mehrabian, a well-known communications specialist, there are three elements in any direct, face-to-face communication: words, tone of voice and body language. You’ve probably heard that words account for only 7 percent of the message, tone of voice accounts for 38 percent of the message, and body language accounts for fully 55 percent of the message. For an effective communication to take place, all three parts of the message must be congruent. If there is any incongruency, the receiver will be confused and will tend to accept the predominant form of communication rather than simply the literal meaning of the words.

Very often, you will say something that you feel is innocuous to a person and he will be offended. When you try to explain that you felt the words you used were inoffensive, the person will tell you that your tone of voice was the issue.

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The third ingredient of communication, body language, is also very important. The way you sit or stand or incline your head or move your eyes, relative to the person with whom you’re communicating, will have an enormous effect on the message received.

For example, you can dramatically increase the effect of your communications by leaning toward the person you’re speaking with. If you’re sitting down, this is easy. If you’re standing up, you can accomplish the same effect by shifting your weight forward onto the balls of your feet and leaning slightly toward the person you’re talking to. When you make direct eye and face contact with the person, combined with focused attention, you double the impact of what you’re saying.

In fact, one of the easiest ways for you to break off a conversation, almost like knocking a needle off a phonograph record, is by just turning away from a person and looking into the distance when he is speaking. That will usually abruptly cause the person to stop speaking. He will feel that he’s just been abandoned in the middle of the conversation.

So your choice of words is important, but even more important is your tone of voice and your body language. The better you can coordinate all three of those ingredients, the more impact your message will have, and the greater will be the likelihood that a person will both understand it and react the way you want him to.

You’ve heard the saying that God gave man two ears and one mouth, and in conversation, you should use them in

those proportions. Truer words were never spoken. The best communicators are excellent listeners. The worst communicators are continuous talkers. In fact, often the most important part of the message is the part that is conveyed by the pauses you make between thoughts and ideas. The message is conveyed in the silence that takes place during the lulls in conversation. All master communicators have learned to be comfortable with silence. Remember that a person can absorb only a certain amount of information, as ground can absorb only a certain amount of water. If you pour too much water onto the ground, it will form into puddles instead of soak in. A person’s mind is very much the same. If you don’t give someone an opportunity to absorb what you’re saying, by pausing and waiting quietly and patiently, he will be overwhelmed by the continuous stream of thoughts and ideas, and often will distort the message and miss the point.

One of the most vital requirements for effective communication, especially with important messages, is preparation. Preparation is the mark of the true professional. The late Coach Paul “Bear” Bryant of the University of Alabama football team was famous for saying, “It’s not the will to win but the will to prepare to win that counts.” In all communications, the will to prepare in advance of talking and interacting with people is the key to achieving maximum effectiveness.

In high school and college debating, where the individuals and teams are judged on the effectiveness of their ability to get their ideas across and to win their points, they’re taught

to prepare exhaustively. Especially, they’re taught to prepare the debate from the point of view of the opposition before they prepare their own arguments. Lawyers were taught to do this in law school. Before they go into court, lawyers think through every possible piece of evidence or information that favors the opposing party. They then prepare their arguments in such a way as to undermine what they think the opposing party will present as its strongest point.

Remember that in communicating, people do things for their own reasons, not for yours. Everyone’s favorite radio station is WIIFM, which means “What’s in it for me?”

The more important the communication, either in business or personal life, the more important it is to prepare for it. Think through where the other person is coming from. What is his or her point of view? What are his or her problems or concerns? What is he or she trying to accomplish? What is his or her level of knowledge or information about the subject under discussion?

The best communicators do not use a lot of words, but they choose their words carefully, in advance. People appreciate straight talking. Avoid the tendency to dress up your message and sugarcoat it. When you have a question or a concern, or you want something, come right out and say it without confusion or distortion. You’ll be amazed at how much better you feel and how much more positively someone will respond to your message.

In getting your point across, perhaps the most important word of all is the word ask. The most effective people are those who are the best at asking for what they want. They ask questions to uncover real needs and concerns. They ask questions to illuminate objections and problems that people might have with what they’re suggesting. They ask questions to expand the conversation and to increase their understanding of where people are really coming from.

You get your message understood by getting out of yourself, by putting your ego aside, and by focusing all of your attention on the other person. You get people to do the things you want them to do by presenting your arguments in terms of their interests, in terms of what they want to be and have and do. You prepare thoroughly in advance of any important conversation. You think before you speak, and you think on paper. You can say almost anything if you say it, or ask it, pleasantly, positively and with courtesy and friendliness. The ability to communicate is a skill that

you can learn by becoming genuinely interested in people and by putting their needs ahead of your own when sending a message or asking them to do something for you. When you concentrate your attention on building trust, on the one hand, and on seeking to understand, on the other hand, you’ll become known and respected as an effective communicator everywhere you go. FBA

Brian Tracy is legendary in the fields of management, leadership, and sales. He has produced more than 300 audio/video programs and has written 28 books, including his just-released books “Million Dollar Habits” and “Time Power” He can be reached at 858.481.2977 or visit www.briantracy.com.

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