ocean beach chronicle #3

made with luv in ob the ocean beach chronicle 1

2 the ocean beach chronicle made with luv in ob


Wow, a third installment of the ob chronicle! what were we thinking? That’s kinda the point, we aren’t

doing to much thinking, just moving along, and doing our thing. Why 1975 this issue? I dunno, maybe dreams of Agnetha from Abba. It all makes perfect sense and yet makes no sense at all. Maybe next issue we’ll jump ahead to 1989 and explore the birth of acid house and rave culture. I could interview Paul Oakendfold, he was a huge influence and starting point in this cultural shift that changed not the just the music but also ourselves. I too used to dj during this period and ran numerous underground nightclubs spinning an eclectic mix of house, acid, trance, balaeric and everything in-between. We’ll talk about that later. Who knows maybe we’ll shift gears the other direction, and go back to the baroque period, not even use the computer to design and layout the issue, i’ll pop down to the art store and get a quill and large pot of india ink; hand draw and letter the whole thing. Guess you’ll have to wait and see.

We hope you enjoy our humble paper as we move along exploring our unique community and the numerous years of change.

We also look forward to your contributions, Send us your thoughts, stories, art, poetry, photography. The ob chronicle is your’s too.

Like to thank Dayna, kook of OB. She

has been so enthusiastic about this project and is not only writing for it, but also out there soliciting some advertising. Without advertisers, we’d not be here. If your’e not advertising with us, we’d love to entice you aboard. Our rates are shamelessly affordable, this ain’t a get-rich-scheme. Come be a part of a publication that truly believes in our town.

Also like to shout out a huge thank you to Cyndee Love that runs OB Attitude. This wonderful girl supports and promotes our community in ways you wouldn’t believe. I love you Cyn, and am so glad we met and now work together. Be sure to visit her booth at the top of Newport every Farmer’s market, fantastic clothing and stuff, all with that OB Attitude.

We’ll see you next issue. Thanks for picking us up and having a read. Cheers, [email protected]

For advertising contact Dayna @ 619-808-5038wanna earn some extra cash? we’re lookin’ for a few extra ad repscall trevor@ 619.886.4478


Midnightish by Dayna Celise

Through the mysterious ways of the Most High, I've lived damn near on every beach and tourist resort from here to Guatemala. From

Vallarta to Cancun, Miami and Jamaica, from Lake Tahoe to Waikiki. I was just a vagabond looking for nirvana, it seemed so out of reach. Until I stepped off the bus and touched ground in Ocean Beach.

I actually came here to buy beads for the hemp Jewllery I made back then. I got off on Cable in front of the Appletree Supermarket, and was immediately acosted in the alley by the Stones singing, "Pleased to meet you hope you guess my name." It was coming out of the VFW. Veterans Of Foriegn Wars Canteen, Members and non members only. When I stepped in there, I had no idea this would be my refuge and sanctuary, as close to nirvana as I've ever been. After I had been signed in by Mitch as a guest, I finished off two beers and headed back out the door, and continued walkng down the alley to the tune of Stevie Windwoods, "Low Spark of the High Heeled Boys." Later I would name this alley" Drama Alley"

One block later and a block away from the beach, I thought I was having a flashback to Bezerkley, in the late sixties. Standing at Newport and Bacon St. there was a Dalmation crossing the street pulling someone on a skateboard towards me. I felt like Brad Noel of Sublime was standing next to me. Telling me, "Welcome Home Sancho".

As I made my way towards the beach I passed Head Shops, Boutiques, Restaraunts, Smoke Shops, Bead Shops, Tattoo Shops and Rons Body Piercing Shop. Art and Music assailed my senses. When I arrived at the Wall that boarders the beach I realized that this is where the homeless, misfits, fiends, drunks and runaways hang out just trying to have a good time with what they have to work with so I joined them. They taught me the ropes, no drinking

before 12PM was the most important, and getting up before 6AM was the second.. It didn't take me long to break these rules. I was having too much fun.

The elderly coming out of the sea toting their surf boards, saltwater dripping off of their wetsuits. Tattooed hotties everywhich away, Kids and Dogs running amok in glee.

Ocean Beach is surrounded with Rec-centers and parks for the kids. Beaches and vistas from Sunset Cliffs to Dog Beach. When you find your way there you'll understand what Bob Dylan was singing about when he sang, "If Dogs Run Free, Why can't we?" Every morning Dog Beach becomes Canine heaven, frisbees and tennis balls getting snatched out of the air by every kind of loving breed you can imagine. From Chihuahuas to Rottweillers, they all get a bong...along and party with each other.

On the other side of the jetty south of Dog Beach our swimming beaches fill up with sunblock, bikinis , thongs, surfers and kids. From Tower Two to Tower Five, the Life gaurds do a great job of taking care of the people who gravitate here. They come from the state of Maine and every where else in between, coming to claim their piece of the American Dream. From San Ysidro to Escondido, from Santee to P.B. and even Mission Beach they all end up here where nirvana is in reach. Walking down the street you can see license plates from all parts of our nation. Welcome to the edge of the world, everyone closer to the sun, where you enjoy looking for that missing piece of your puzzle.

The International Hostel on Newport hosts youngsters from all over the world, which just adds more spice to the hood, you know, a little Brazillians here, a dash of Europeans there,

a tiny touch of Canadians and a table spoon of Chipotle, ummmm.

Every nite at Winstons we have live

music. Sandy is the manager/ Goddess of O.B. When you see her you'll know what I mean. Sometimes I get a glimpse of Jamaica when the band at Winstons take a break. Drama Alley gets krizonicked with smoke and dreadlocks. Americas finest roll slowly through the crowd with their lights out to protect and serve. There is no other paved area in S.D.with more comaraderie and a cool community feel than Drama Alley on the weekend.

Cheswicks is the local Harley Bar, always full of friendly locals and Bikers. It has an open view of the activity on Newport where you can enjoy exotic beers or cocktails, or watch sports on the plasmas. Usually there is a line of Harley's gleaming like shark teeth all in a row in front of the Bar. You can't miss it.

A special feature of O.B. is it's small town feeling. Your sure to see anyone that you may be looking for within a couple of hours. I'ts not spread out and commercialized yet like P.B. and Mission Beach.

June 23 is Street Fair Day at least a 100,000 people arrive from every corner of San Diego County to "My Neighborhood" for the festivities. As they do every weekend.

My favorite place to go for breakfast, lunch or dinner is Tims Restraunt "Tower Two". It sits on Abott across the street from the beach and the life guard Tower 2. The view of the Ocean and the Pier, second longest in California, is breath taking, as well as the ambiance there in the restraunt. On Sundays Tim has live music out on this huge deck, with plenty of outside seating. The children dance and play, while their parents toss back a cold one after eating. Last Sunday I felt like Jesus because all the tiny tots sort of drifted over to me, with their cute mischievious smiles, trying to make me laugh. They succeded, just as Tim's restaraunt employees succeed in mixing joyful vibes, with the food and service. The food is outstandingly tasty and the prices

are surprisingly low which is good for your indigestion.

Sitting out on Tims deck or anywhere else in O.B., if you look up you can see the green/red flashes streaking across the clear blue sky and hear the wild Parrotts cussing and squawking to eachother like most of us do..

One version as how these wild Parrots and Macaws arrived in O.B.is that a local Pet Store burnt down and the Firemen had to let the Birds fly away ...Amen. The other version ?

A paisa from Mexico was smuggling Marijuana and Exotic birds across the border and a cheech and chong high speed chase ensued, his truck turned over and the birds flew to all parts of our county and like everyone else, they all ended up in "My Neighborhood." Both versions are true. Sorry about your luck.

The most important information I can give you about my neighborhoood is that it's not all about competiveness. It's about one hand washing the other with kindness and compassion, volunteering, watching out for eachother and contributing to the less fortunate, the elderly, the Hood. We have resources for the homeless and runaways, the elderly, the addicted and the inflicted. There is a community resource center on Newport across from Cheswicks,that helps anyone who walks through their door. Feel free to come to the edge of the world, where you can freefall, sprout wings and fit in. The ones who don't, Im glad you could make it, come back when you can stay awhile. Remember this, We Drive Slow in O.B.. That is the first step of fitting into "My Neighborhood".

Tu Amigo, ExtebanPeace Out! 9210B


Rod Stewart & Britt Ekland were spotted hob-nobbing around town. They had a quite, romantic dinner at 3rd Corner and then hit Tony’s for a few drinks. I gather they closed the place down, Rod was passed out in the ladies room.

Sex bomb - Ingrid Pitt, who recently co-starred with Britt Ekland in ‘The Wicker Man’ was seen shopping at The Temptress. I’d certainly like to see what she bought.

The Boy is back in town - Phil Lynott of the British band, Thin Lizzy was in town promoting his new album, Jailbreak. I heard he got up and played

a few impromptu songs at Dreamstreet.

Super stud, Warren Beatty was seen hanging out with Eric at Sweet salon over the weekend. His new movie - Shampoo has just been released and is causing quite a stir.

A young New York artist by the name of Andy Warhol was hovering around OB promoting his first west coast show that happens the end of this month at Newport Nights.

Maybe it’s just Halloween fever, but there were

numerous reports that Rod Serling was in OB. Someone said they say him perusing the comics at Galactic on newport ave. If so, must have been his ghost. He died just a few months ago.

celebs sighted this month in OB

Jonathan Livingston SeagullBy Richard Bach

Now available at a good bookstore near you $2.10

"Most gulls don't bother to learn more than the simplest facts of flight--how to get

from shore to food and back again". "For most gulls it is not flying that matters, but eating. For this gull, though, it was not eating that mattered, but flight." That is what the author of this book says about the "hero" of this story, a seagull named Jonathan Livingston Seagull.

Jonathan Livingston Seagull is different to the other gulls in his flock. He doesn't live to eat, but eats to live and pursue his passion: flight. But his search for perfection and speed doesn't endear him to the other seagulls, that eventually expel him from the flock for daring to be different. To know what happens afterwards, you will need to read this book, because I don't want to spoil the ending.

The real question here, I guess, is whether you want to read a story about gulls... I mean, there are so many good books out there, why read a book about a bird?. The answer is simple: the story in "Jonathan Livingston Seagull" is a metaphor about things that can happen to you in real life. Have you ever felt tempted to do the same that everybody else, just for the sake of conformism?. Have you often felt like given up when something you really want to do demands too much work?. Just think about it...

I believe that many of us are sometimes like most of the gulls in this book, and we need to learn the lessons that "Jonathan Livingston Seagull" gives us: the most

important thing is to believe in ourselves, and always do our best without giving up.

I would like to point out that some people say that this book is full of New Age ideas. I really don't think so. Okay, I certainly don't know much about those ideas, and I'm not interested enough to learn more about them. But in my opinion, we often find in a book what we want to find in it.

For me, this is only a charming allegory with a very pertinent message: DON'T ABANDON YOUR DREAMS... For that reason, I recommend this book to you. And whether you read "Jonathan Livingston Seagull" (English edition) or "Juan Salvador Gaviota" (Spanish edition), enjoy it !!!

The Hidden PersuadersBy Vance Packard $3.15

THE HIDDEN PERSUADERS by Vance Packard stands as one of the more eye-opening accounts of the development of the motivational sciences in the 20th Century. What is being described by Packard is the evolution of a systematic relationship between merchandisers of America's then-booming manufacturing industries who teemed up with Madison Avenue-style advertising firms, who themselves were backed by a network of behavioral scientists. As described by Packard, this network not only developed novel and creative ways of reaching into the psyche of its intended target audiance to tap into hidden motivations; but in the process of turning us all into more compliant consumers, so shifted the values of the entire society that

they changed American society for all time. Today many of us have virtually succumbed our natural "reality" to a phony existance based upon presenting an image of ourselves to our peers that is actually based upon media and market-generated

values. Once we understand the process that created this vast consumer culture, with all it's attendant neuroses, we can then begin to fashion for ourselves a strategy for recovering our basic humanity. What is being described in THE HIDDEN PERSUADERS, is the origins of a system to manipulate us out of that humanity.


Agnetha Fältskog is not easy to get hold of for an interview. The whole world's press can agree with that.

Recently the world press gathered outside her villa on Lidingö after the divorce. The begged to get an interview. But nothing helped. Agnetha wanted to be left alone.She doesn't think that she has very much to say. But she is also a naturally shy person, which makes her avoid journalist who often asks not so very important questions, she says.

So why she agree to give me an interview I don't know. Maybe I just happened to ask her at the right time. Or maybe it was because she just happened to be in Ocean Beach.

For the first time she talks about her childhood, her upbringing, how she got her breakthrough, how ABBA was born, love and divorce. Her own way of expressing herself shows what an insecure and searching person she is. She has been through a difficult crisis, but now she sees the light at the end of the tunnel. So the picture of a very much alive fellow human being who is plagued by guilt and wants to stand on her own emerges.

There's one story that wasn't included in this interview. I can tell it here. It says alot about what a modest person Agnetha Fältskog is:

Agnetha and I decided on the phone to meet at a Thee Bungalow restaurant on West Point Loma Blvd. Somewhere we got our wires crossed. I ended up at Tower Two on Santa Monica while Agnetha was waiting at Shades also at the end of Santa Monica.

It too me half an hour to realize the mix up. During that time Agnetha had called my house and asked my friend why I hadn't shown up. My friend said I left a long time ago and that I'm usually very punctual ( She lied!)

- I thought he had forgetten about me, said Agnetha. But that's OK, I'll wait a little longer.

Forget about a world famous celebrity! Forget a dinner with Agnetha Fältskog! the knock-out bird from Abba! I was astonished when I heard about her reaction.

I didn't dare to believe that she would still be there. But she was - when I came running, out of breath. I could name at least 50 other celebrities who would have left the restaurant after five minutes if the reporter didn't show up. But that's how she is, Agnetha Fältskog. So far from a diva as could get.

Trevor – You have just been through a crisis in your private life. How do you cope when something like that happens?Agnetha - I have some security in my self. When a problem occurs I just want to go home to my parents. I'm so glad they are still around. I think them a lot, and my childhood. It's there everything starts, isn't it? I grew up in Jönköping. My dad is an administrator at the electricity company, my mother is a cashier at Konsum (a food store), but when I and my sister were young she was a stay at home mom for several years.Trevor – How was it at home?Agnetha- It wasn't a quiet home exactly. Everyone talked with each other. Dad - a real joker - was something like a entertainmentdad

for the whole town. He wrote New Years' shows and played the piano. Mom is also musical. Early on I developed a taste for entertaining. When I was a teenager I toured with a dance orchestra and sang, I wrote my own songs which were successfull. I had a lot of freedom. But of course I had to be responsible. I had to be punctual and not stay out too long. At the same time I worked in an office. I was the girl on the switchboard. It didn't give me much, just a feeling of being an outsider. When the phone wasn't ringing I was thinking of what to do with my life. I was a dreamer and fantasized a lot, but at the same time I realized that I had to get an education. But the music got in the way. A boyfriend broke up with me and I wrote a sentimental song called "Jag Var Så Kär" (I was so in love).Trevor – And then the adventure started?Agnetha- The band leader's wife knew the rock singer Little Gerhard (Karl Gerhard Lundqvist) in Stockholm. The orchestra decided to send him a tape with some songs. We really wanted to make a record. I got a personal reply, which was positive. I couldn't belive it at first. That's how convinced I was that I would never amount to anything. It resulted in a recording at the Philips studio in Stockholm, but not with "my" orchestra. Dad came with me and held my hand. I was more nervous than I have ever been. I was shaking and my mouth was dry. We recorded and released two singles which was unusual for a debutant. My idol at that time was Connie Francis. They said that I sounded a bit like her. "Jag Var Så Kär" became a hit. The adventure

had started.Trevor – How was ABBA formed?Agnetha - ABBA was formed out of love, you could say. Björn and I was in love. And so were Benny and Anni-Frid. We all were in love and excited especially when we worked together. We became world famous, but that doesn't mean anything to us. We are Swedes and Swedes are firmly planted on the ground. Björn and I lived together for three years, then we got married. We had been married for seven years when we divorced. It didn't end abruptly. It was a long process. But ABBA didn't have anything to do with it. We would have divorced even if we didn't work together. We developed in different directions and the problems started. I felt like I didn't have any freedom in the marriage, locked in. We just fell out of love and we annoyed each other until we decided to live apart.Trevor – Why?Agnetha - There's something weird about being married. You devote all your time to your partner and you forget about your friends. After a while you feel locked in and you wonder what has happened. You haven't grown as a person and you start to panic. Can I make it on my own, will I destroy it for my children? What do I want to do with my life? Is the grass greener on the other side? Trevor –Your conscience haunts you, as well as your fears for the future.Agnetha- When Björn and I reached that level we contacted a psychologist, quite like you go to the doctor if you are physically ill. Nothing strange about that. But the tabloids made a big deal of the fact that we were seeing a psychologist and even insinuated that I had an affair with him.Trevor – Was that just a lie then?- A divorce is something terrible to go through. But it's even worse to be subjected to the tabloids lies in articles where they present them as the truth. You're powerless. It doesn't help if you appeal to them to be left alone. There are some magazines that writes exactly what they want and they use you to increase sales.So now you had crisis meeting within

By Trevor29 September 1975Ocean Beach, California

up close and personal with

Agnetha Fältskog of ABBA


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ABBA?- Once we had decided about a separation this naturally led to meeting within ABBA. What will a divorce mean to ABBA? We all agreed that it wouldn't have to mean anything. We were going to go on as usual and now we've been doing that for six months. And it works fine.Trevor – When will ABBA split up?Agnetha- If ABBA splits up it will not be because of internal love affairs, it would be because Björn and Benny don't want to write songs anymore. It takes a lot of strength, they worked, isolated for weeks every time they write something new. It's only reasonable that the inspiration will disappear eventually.Trevor – How do you spend your free time?Agnetha - I spend all my free time with my children. Linda is 6 years old, Christian 1. We play, go for walks, go to Skansen, listen to music. The children are the most important in my life. It's important to get enough sleep. That's not always the case when you have small children. If I only get four hours sleep the following days is completely ruined for me.Trevor – Have you received a lot of letters (from the fans?Agnetha- A lot of letters comes, not least from abroad, after our divorce. The writers are upset about what has happened, they want to comfort and help. I think it's amazing that so many people can get so involved just because I'm a singer. Some of them wonder if we're getting back together. But I'm afraid that will not happen. We have hurt each other so badly, so many things have been said. Trevor – Why are we so careless about love? By the way, Is it possible to live

without love? No, I can't.Trevor – What did Stikkan Anderson say when he got to hear about your divorce?Agnetha- Stikkan became really sad when I told him that it was decided. He was also worried about ABBA, but mostly he was sad for me and Björn.Trevor – And what were you thinking?Agnetha- I wonder how attractive a single mother of two really is? I don't think it's very easy. I question my whole existence. But within my music, I'm strong. But I don't write lyrics anymore. The reason for that could possibly be that I think that life itself is like a schlager lyric.Trevor – Are you happy now?Agnetha- It has said in the papers that I'm happy after the divorce, that I'm jubilant and active within the Women's right movement. That is not true. I had that article read to me before it was published and I approved it. But I have a weakness: I want to please everyone. That's why I didn't ask them to remove that.Trevor- Happiness, what is that? I can wake up one morning and feeling really excited... And in the evening I can be prepared to go and hang myself. Happiness only exists in the moment. Happiness is writing music. Sometimes I get a melody stuck in my head after I've gone to bed. Then I get up and sit down at the piano. But usually these melodies don't measure up. The music that is good enough I have to struggle to get to. It's hard work. But it's some sort of happiness just the same. It's also hard to find inspiration since I hardly ever hear any good music. If I turn on the music radio I'm disappointed. They seem to talk more. Melodiradion sucks!Trevor – Do you feel unconcentrated?Agnetha- Periodically I feel very unconcentrated. I never have enought time for my own music. ABBA takes most of my time and the children. Sometimes I have thought of staying at home. But I also want to do something else, otherwise taking care of the children would absorb me. And I'm lucky enough to have a nanny, a friend really, who helps me with the children, she has been with us for a year and half now.Trevor – Are you active within the Women's rights movent?Agnetha- I have nothing to do with it I really don't understand it or what it is for. Female liberation is good. But it mustn't be exaggerated. Aren't we equal enough now? If I understand the Women's right movement correctly they want total independence. And there is no such thing. We all depend on each other.Trevor – Do you believe in love - despite everything?Agnetha- Yes. Love between man and woman and between people.Trevor – The guys they must be chasing you?

Agnetha- Now - after the divorce - the guys are chasing me. I get flowers and tickets. But I'm very carefull and I won't fall easily. Living together is so complicated. If I fall in love again I will be very careful with that love. At the same time I know it's impossible to find a perfect scheme for your love life. Crisis will appear eventually. The reason being that you never really know another person and that the daily routine within a marriage contains a lot of traps.Trevor – A marriage contract - is that for you?Agnetha - Marriage contracts are unrealistic. You don't sit down and tick off each others good and bad qualities on a form before you get married. A marriage is like a white piece of paper, which can be filled with scribblings.Trevor – Are you interested in power?Agnetha- Through success you gain power. But I'm not interested in a power position. It pains me when people see me as a star, when they can't interact with me naturally. I notice that they are tense, so I get tense. Though I think I have learned to make it easier for them. I myself aren't impressed with anyone. I'm a person who is driven by emotions, I act and judge others very much from how I feel. I have tried to get over my failed marriage for a long time now. I've been working with myself. And in the process I have developed a sense where I can see if someone has been through a divorce. It leaves irreverseable marks, it's in the atmosphere around that person.Trevor – What do you reach with your intuition? Agnetha - Mostly it's used to feel if a song will be a hit or not. But I'm also that kind of person who can turn around on the runway from a flight. - The more I fly, the more anxious I get. I think it's challenging higher powers and I always say a prayer just before start or landing. I would prefer to stay on the ground. But we do travel around the world quite a lot. I enjoy it, for a while. Then I want to get home to the children, the kitchen zink, the jeans, the spaghetti bolognese. I prefer the simple life over the life in luxury, I have difficulty to feel like a millionnaire. Our money mostly gets invested in real estate and other things and then the taxes are huge - so we never really see the money.Trevor – Are you still living in the villa?Agnetha - I intend to stay in the house on Lidingö that I and the children moved to when we decided to break up. Its location is a little to visible, but I will get help to get a fence up to avoid people looking in.Trevor – And ABBA's island - what will happen to that? Agnetha - I will leave ABBA's island in the Stockholm archipelago for good. But the others will continue to be there just like before. The island never really meant that much to me. It's nice to be there when the weather is nice. But that's not always the case and then you only feel isolated. You have to depend on boats to get there and back and I only drive them into the bridge. I just cannot learn how to dock the boat.

ABBA


Banter between the Treditor (Trevor/Editor) and his servant.

Ever wonder how weirdos find each other?Better yet, ever wonder how 2 kooks don’t kill each other while working together?So do we. Here is an inside look: It started out so simple...

enjoyed your piece on ob and the crazy bird. wondered if i could print it in the OB Chronicle? It’s a free OB [email protected]

Then I offered to help sell ads and he flaked...

Dearest Trev,I am concerned about you. You never EVER call me back you filthy limey!! I know it is hard to be you, talented, smart, funny, witty, clever. I have the same dang problem! Lets talk soon., wanna seee ya! Happy and ready... love, Dayna

Then the Tredator disappeared...

Jeeze Trev,You Can’t tell a gal that your life is in shambles and then fall off for a few days...I was fixin’ to call neighbor Katie for your address and come over with a batterin’ ram!! Hahaha. Anyhoo, call me or I will call you. I have been a busy busy gal. Got $350 so far! A few checks with your name on them if that interests you at all. Haha ha. Life is good-we need to chat and I need to breathe call or be called, the Dayneratordayna,

Then he flipped out...

dayne, why do i do this? every time i’m about to put out a publication or am about to present an art show or whatever . . . i go off and drink my self stupid aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i wanted to ask you loads of questions did i pay my tab at tower two? the cash that you gave me was for what ad? what do i do to build the green room? what other ads are pending? shit, i’ve got to go work at vision magazine

all weekend and i’m feeling dodgy i’m crazy -trevThen he slacked off...

Daynhey daynerrrrrr,> > my apologies . . . i had not paid for your business cards so they are not printed but i just got an email from the printers and they’ll be done in 2 days.

Then he left me hangin...

Turkey neck! Give me a ring when ya are headin here from el cajon....where do you want me to distribute? wtf amigo?

Then he crossed the line. And I don’t even know what the hell a wagtail is...

you artless, motley-minded miscreant you wayward, tickle-brained wagtail, you droning, toad-spotted, foot-licker you varlet-harlet ahhhhhh like you to get small bundles to all the advertisers asap especially sweet salon on bacon st as they have an event tomorrow night that they advertised. meet you at about 4:30 with moula for ya! now go and bug someone else and get off my ass, trev

So I gave him a piece of my mind...

Don’t tell me what to do! You ain’t my boss, ya ole’ grail chasin’, trouser wearin’, skirt chasin’, libido led, sunuva monarchist! Just do whatcha told, and none y’all gits ruffed up...

Then he changed his tune...

wanna hook up soon? i delivered loads of papers yesterday even though i’d fallen into my cave and now i’m out and the sun is shining

Then he back-slided...

Yo what is the scoop on the market? Does Cindy need help? Are we getting a table? Whassup whassup whassup????? write back or call.

Then he came back...

yet, I haven’t written jack...so we changed to monthly-ish...

hey dayna dane, hows schtuff? wanna get together this weekend and start scheming and plotting and stuff? i really appreciate your crazy enthusiasm and your knock-out humour. you’re a doll, doll, doll. the issues have been flying out of places, i spoke with the guy at your mamas mug, he said tons

of people were coming in asking for it, they were desperate to get a copy . . . pretty cool eh! are we the bomb and we don’t know it? let’s make this next issue way better, you’re gonna write, right? will you ask claudia if we can just get a table to have at farmers to promote the chronicle and stuff, and sell postcards etc. I’ll pay you Dayna to man the table or woman the table. Your middle-aged ol’ [f@#$]-face of a useless turd of a good-fer-nuttin’ messed-up, big nosed, alchy, irresponsible, super-stud of a new friend. trev

Disclaimer: No kooks were harmed in the compilation of these emails. Feelings don’t count ya ole’ Treditor!

kook

Compiled by Dayna Celise


ocean beach

the ob chroniclewould like your thoughts, articles, poetry, art, photos etc.send to:[email protected]

1975next issue - 1989 and the birth of acid house & rave, are you on one matey?


I am a recent transplant from New Jersey living in Ocean Beach. I already know what locals or natives think of me. Another

East Coaster, another poser, another person sucking the life out of the little slice of paradise left in California. Believe me, I used to hate sitting on the subway in New York answering tourists’ questions about what stop to get off to get to a museum, what train to take to get to Brooklyn, blah, blah, blah, blah. My favorite used to be when Boston Red Sox fans attempted to figure out how to get to get to Yankee Stadium from hotel rooms in midtown. “Where the

hell is the Bronx anyway?” Take a right at your mom, and keep on going until your head is squarely up your ass.

San Diegans, particularly native San Diegans, probably feel the same. We live in America’s Finest City, and everyone wants to keep it that way. For the record, I am here for the same reason(s) everyone else trekked out to California in the first place. The weather has been fantastic, and the living is surely easy. Actually, I don’t know about easy (see: car accident last week that totaled my Honda, coupled with bank account hovering around three dollars). But at least I have the illusion of life being easier and I live two blocks from the sand.

On the first night of recovery after a 72 hour stretch of weekend drinking I found myself on laundry duty. And with an impending trip to New York City coming in a few days, I wanted to be sure I had my whole repertoire of t-shirts and cargo shorts at my disposal in order to look as sharp as possible. So instead of using the wimpy washer/dryer at my apartment building, I decided to head down the street and utilize a Laundromat with industrial size dryers to save time. Apparently they include industrial size life lessons in the experience as well.

At first, I was pleasantly surprised at how quiet and empty the place was. Wonderland Coin is fairly popular (although, unlike other coin laundries, they do not offer arcade games to kill time) and I was anticipating a gauntlet of people to try and get to an open dryer once the wash cycles ended. With a frivolity I have never felt when doing laundry, I threw the clothes in the dryer and exited to return upon the completion of the load.

Laundromats, unsupervised and open to the public as they are, can draw some interesting people after the later wave of customers finishes folding their clothes.

Considering the proximity to the beach, I should have expected that this was the rule, not the exception. But for some odd reason, I had made myself believe that it was my night with the Wonderland and that this would be the most simple laundry experience of my life.

Five minutes before the place closed, alone with literally every item my girlfriend and I own, I threw on some headphones and started folding. With my back turned to the door I was vulnerable to any kind of ninja or sneak attack, but the relaxing tunes of Wilco allowed me to float into a state of rumination and I let my guard down. If a ninja wanted to chop me and steal some undergarments, then so be it. This was my time to decompress. It was while gripping a pair of my lady’s pink, orange, and chartreuse panties that I heard a soft sound eerily similar to a male voice. I decided to ignore the sound at first, assuming it was some creepy effect Jeff Tweedy had pumped into the background. Unfortunately, the sound did not dissipate, and I was forced to remove myself from a peaceful existence and slowly turn around. What I found slouched before me was exactly the kind of person who I was trying to avoid that evening: a particularly upset, middle-aged man who had stumbled in off the street and was mumbling to himself. Typical OB, but even more typical for me: I finally get into a groove folding clothes, comfortable with my girlfriend’s panties in hand in a public place, and here comes someone who will obviously start spitting out his life story.

At first, he just kept talking to himself. This isn't comforting to most people, but I was elated at the turn of events. As I mentioned before, this was time for decompression. I think Dr. Phil might call it “me-time.” Unfortunately,

as I moved from panty stage to t-shirt stage a blissful, almost Zen laundry experience reverted to its habitual, impersonal nature. I could no longer expect peace and quiet.

The man turned to me, surprised."Oh, I didn't realize there was anyone else

in here. I was just talking to myself," he said. "My brother's wife died today. 54 years old. Cancer."

Well, at that point I was sucked in. Of course, his life story followed. I listened intently as he ran down the six different addresses on Brighton Avenue he lived at for a number of years before being drafted and being sent to Vietnam. We chatted briefly about his time in the jungle, but never actually got into the “meat.” We discussed how my father was a firefighter in the Air Force Reserves, and he talked about all the times them "flyboys" saved his life. I surely didn't feel like bursting this guy's bubble, so I didn't tell him that my dad was not a "flyboy" during Vietnam.

The conversation revolved primarily around his extended family and not around his own life. His sister-in-law had left behind twin boys, who were now in their thirties, one with a couple of children himself.

"Amazing kids, really great people,” pausing for a second, he continued. “I guess the whole marriage thing was never for me, so I'm happy they're out there carrying on my name. I was never able to keep a lady in my life. Kept offing those girls." At which point, he pointed gun shaped fingers at his head, and squeezed the “trigger.”

Did this man, in a state of emotional confusion, just admit that he had committed murder? Even more, did he admit that it was on several occasions?

Apparently I misinterpreted his intention. What he meant to infer was that somehow he

By Ltizzle


had always messed up good relationships with stupidity, and it had lead him to where he was today. But the thought of standing next to a serial killer was one part scary and two parts thrilling.

Either way, what came next changed the entire course of our tête-à-tête.

"You remember Chris Farley? That old skit about the guy who was livin' in a van down by the river....well that's me. I'm living in a van down by the beach."

There are plenty of people who have chosen to live unconventionally, particularly in the beach communities. I am a firm believer in the rights of an individual to do so. As a case manager working with families who have lost their homes in the wildfires, I have found that people seem to be comfortable with living in an RV so that in the event of a disaster they can just up and move everything they own. My initial assessment of this man was that for someone who had probably seen some really horrible things, he was doing alright. This could be why when he told me, bluntly, "I love my country, but I don't trust it,” I responded with a surprisingly upbeat "could be a lot worse off than living by the beach in San Diego."

He nodded, and we both went back to folding clothes. I could not determine if I had just offended him or if he had nodded in agreement. The elevator music that had been all up in my ear for the past twenty minutes seemed to fade. He broke the silence with a simple, but important question: "So how did you, being from New York and all, find OB?"

At first I wondered whether or not I should just ignore him. I’m always being asked that question, and most of the time the inquisitor is not even looking for an answer. The question just seems to serve as a reminder that I am not native, and that I should feel uncomfortable in a new place – a visitor. But despite the initial shock of thinking that he may have been a serial killer, this man was quite pleasant for someone who had just found out that his sister-in-law passed away. I owed this guy those pleasantries back and, without realizing it, had been more kind to him than most folks probably would have been in that very same situation. In regard to his question, I half-assed something about knowing someone who lived in San Diego in the 1970’s.

The real question was how did I end up in the Wonderland Coin, in San Diego, with a man who lived in a van down by the ocean, talking about the Vietnam War, his now dearly departed sister-in-law's grandchildren, and my new life in OB? Why did I place so much emphasis on the situation, but could care less about the actual conversation? I didn’t even get the dude’s name!

It didn't hit me right away, but on August 21st, 2008, I reached Nirvana at the Wonderland Coin Laundromat on Abbott Street in Ocean Beach.

I’m here in San Diego because I want to be here. Of course I would love to have the ability to travel around the world and see it all without worrying about rent or car payments or the cost of soy milk. I have nonetheless, through a series of various avenues, chosen

to get to where I am today. What is most interesting is that although we differ in just about every imaginable manner, my situation is eerily similar to a man who has made the decision to live in a van down by the ocean. I cannot speak for all the bumps and bruises along the way, and I cannot tell whether or not he truly wants to be living this way. But is the question even worth asking? He and I are here, together, folding laundry, living the dream. His name, his goals, and the canker sore he just can’t get rid of, none of these things matter because we’re the same, he and I.

Guy from the Wonderland Coin Laundry, I’m looking for you. I want to thank you for putting everything in perspective. I want to apologize for thinking you are a murderer and that I was possibly victim number who knows however.

Most of all, I want to get the whole story. I think you deserve to know mine as well, because I definitely held back during our time together. I would like to discuss in detail how you got to where you are today (and maybe get a little bit more information about all those girls you “offed”.)

Taking a mundane event, such as doing laundry, and turning it into a revelation is a selling point for fad diets, fundamentalist Christianity, and crack addiction alike. At a time when gasoline costs more than beer (finally a deterrent for drunk driving!) it is easy to forget that things can always get worse then they are already.

You could be living in a van down by a river. At least here in San Diego, you always have the ocean.


surfrider paddle for clean water / photos by joe ewing

mike from Hodads birthday bash - phptos by joe ewing


My mind doth wander back thru all of the incidences/circumstances that ever dropped me in on a wave

of couches in OB. Let’s see...tweaker slumlords, alcoholic roommate, senile landlord, lack of lease status, alcoholic roommate, senile landlord/alkie roomie combo, lack of lease status/alkie roomie combo, alkie roomie/sister bedroomie moving BFF & dog in while I was on vacation combo, big Kujo-ish dog that bites tweakers/tweaker slumlord combo, alcoholic roomie that thought she was supposed to give my rent to the bartenders at Lucy’s, Tiny’s, and Sunshine Co...Interesting...There seems to be a correlation between alcoholic and/or illicit substances & ridin’ the lack of residential status wave. At least in my own personal experiences. Having been on both sides of the couch, on it and owning it, I possess a particular heart and weakness for the friend in need friend indeed lot. Couch surfing can be a chronic condition or a temporary housing solution. Especially in the land of OB, where beauty, booze and buds are bountiful!

I can say at least one thing with certainty: Couch Surfers definitely have the propensity to piss folks off! Whether by sheer extended presence, lethargy, (i.e. never leaving said couch,) not contributing to the household, invasion of personal space, (“He breathes my air, and his feet stink,” my eloquent Grandmother once said,) constriction from lounging in your b-day suit, being a filthy slob, or eating every last savory bite of your leftovers from your favorite restaurant.

My last (and I mean LAST) couch surfer denied me a loan (yes, LOAN) of 20 Bucks to cover my Eleven Hundred Dollar rent check! Twenty bucks! I had also gotten him a job where I worked, so I knew he had just gotten paid. I stated the obvious. His excuse: I need it for rent at my new place. Luckily, I didn’t have a gun. Needless to say, that was his last night on my couch. He had ended up on my couch as a refuge from a speedy girlfriend, if you catch my sniff, er, drift.

Gets me to wonderin’: What is the typical deal-breaking point for OBceans when it comes to couch surfing? How do they define couch surfers? How do they get rid of them? Given my fresh insight into the alcohol/substance link, I think I should go seek these answers at the spot where OB speaks, thinks, and drinks: Happy Hour at Sunshine Company Saloon.

“Oh, I’ve had couch surfers. The kind that seem like they’ll never leave. Usually, they seem to be fine for the first three days. Didn’t Benjamin Franklin say somethin’ bout fish and visitors for three days? After three days they both start stinkin’?” asked my first source, a dimpled fellow called Hank Trice the Third.

“I had this one guy named Tiger when I first moved here,” recalled Hank while enjoying a pitcher of IPA with friends. “The first thing he did was make me take him down to Tijuana and drop him off at the whorehouses. Then, we went downtown to a club where he met some old(er) lady that was forty-five or fifty. He started shackin’ up with her and he would call and say, ‘You gotta come pick me up. I don’t have money for a cab, I’m stranded! He kept runnin’ me all around town, every day callin’ Southwest and pushin’ his flight back. Finally, I met this

woman and she was heinous! (He grins.) He kept talkin’ bout how lovely she was! That was one that would never leave,” he remembered.

In OB’s own slightly slurred words:

Top Five Worst Offenses of OB Couch Surfers:

1. Cleaned my shower with the “Shit Brush” (toilet scrubber,) then left it on the stove 2. Hooked up on my couch (in a way I won’t relay)3. Smoke your weed, definitely smoke your weed, Drink your booze, Eat all your damn food4. Filled my house up with people I didn’t know when I wasn’t home5. They think they can dance the best

Top Five Most Effective Methods to Get Rid of OB Couch Surfers:

1. Demand Rent2. Stop Buying Food/Booze/Weed3. Ignore Them 4. Toss ‘em out/Tough Love (verbal abuse)5. Challenge them to a battle of wits, for the couch, to the death

Top Five Definitions of O.B. Couch Surfers

1. An Unemployed Roguish Ne’er Do Well2. Someone who asks to sleep on couches in a serial manner, routinely asking different people, not paying rent 3. A dude that chills at various peoples pads around their area that doesn’t have their own couch to crash on4. An out of town visitor with no return ticket home 5. Someone who sits on your couch and surfs the t.v. channels

Top Five Response to Whether or not Alcohol/Illicit Substances Relates to OB Couch Surfing:

1. Can my name be Alex? That’s like, that’s a really #$@*% complicated question man, like, you know? Technically it makes you lazy, but sometimes it makes you creative, you know?2. There is a side effect warning on the label of medicinal marijuana bottles that reads: May cause couch surfing, munchies,

and severe paranoia.3. Yes. If you live on a couch it usually means you are a loser; there is a definite correlation between drugs and losers.4. They think they can pay rent with pot or beers. Sometimes they can.5. Oh yeah, of course. That’s a direct link. If you are sober you are more apt to go out and get a job and place.

Keep in mind that couch surfing is a sensitive and vulnerable state for some. I speak from experience, as I told you; They aren’t all scrubs. You never know how people may have ended up on couches. I tried to interview a friend that we will call John. He has been around OB forever. He told me he would call me after work, but he didn’t. Then I saw him at the Tilted Stick. He asked me what I wanted to interview him about and I told him couch surfers. He gave me a hurt look and said, “Geeze, I’ve been couch surfing for 2 weeks and now

I’m the star of your story?” I would like to apologize to him now. Please forgive me for offending you, I didn’t even know you were on the wave!

To my surprise, and OB’s credit, nobody I interviewed had ever gotten in a fist-fight with a couch surfer. A few people said no and fessed up to wanting to clobber one or two of them. Somebody else said they definitely could see how it would happen. I think it’s nice to be patient, but we all have our limits! If you ever want to fight your couch surfer, please refer to the top five methods before resorting to violence. O.B. peaceful.

“It’s a very natural status of Twentieth to Twenty-first century man, isn’t it?” Hank asked rhetorically. “It’s like the nomad of modern times. No home, no posessions, nothing but the shirt on his back. Roaming from couch to couch. It’s a different lifestyle. Some people can do it for a long time. I knew a man that couch surfed for thirty-five years straight. Never stopped. Never slowed down.”

By Dayna Celise


While perusing OBC Issue 2, I realized I had ignorantly sold an ad to Rose@ Word-Wide. Meaning, I didn’t really

understand what they were doin’ up Voltaire at Word-Wide or what it meant to Ocean Beach and the world. Grow your language; grow world peace: Grow your mind? And what were those brainy flowers on the walls outside? (Come to find out that was her logo which Treditor failed to put on her ad. What a likely scapegoat.) So, I interviewed B. Rose Anderson, Director, PDSO of Word-Wide ESL Institute and WordWide Language Tutoring Center. May my readers learn with me...

DC. How does learning another language grow your garden for peace?

RA. I always say, when you grow your language, you grow your mind for world peace, because language changes the way you think. In Candide, French philosopher-writer Voltaire concludes his satirical magnum opus with the concept that everything isn’t optimistically meant to happen, such as destructive earthquakes. Because of that, we would truly be better off cultivating our own gardens instead of going to war.

I know that WordWide’s English school has the ability to change stereotypes about Americans. For instance, I had a 42-year old student from Japan who asked about a bumper sticker she had seen. When I explained it, she said she was surprised to find out that not everyone in the country supported Bush and the war. She was actually shocked that someone thought Bush didn’t really win the presidency. Whether or not you like Bush and/or think he was actually elected is not my point. The point is, she learned what it means for people in this country to be free to print their opinions. We may respect our president if we want to, but we don’t have to like him or her. Right now, we’re still free to say so. This is really amazing for international students to see freedom of speech in action.

It’s the same for our Americans that are learning Italian, French and Spanish. I don’t know much of these languages – I speak German as my second language – but luckily, I have been able to attract great tutors. There is a cultural difference inherent in a language, and each of my tutors brings that into the classroom. WordWide Language Tutoring Center concentrates on teaching international languages to Americans or residents of the United States, because a person simply can’t learn a language without learning at least a little love for the culture and the people. This helps get rid of the “ugly American” and creates more international friendships. Not only does it keep your mind active and elastic, it teaches you about culture and builds friendships across countries.

DC. Why do you teach Americans English?

RA. There are many Americans who do not speak or write English well enough to succeed in college. Because of our on-going international program, these Americans can join a class where there are other people of similar ages and backgrounds who are learning English. We have met Americans who have come from bilingual families, refugees to this country, and people from Mexico. If they speak English, most of it was learned on the street, so they aren’t able to read and write past a third-grade level. We just trained a student who is a U.S. citizen but lived abroad most of his life. He plans to go to school here next fall. If he attempted to go to school without any formal English or cultural training, he wouldn’t know a noun is a person, place or thing. He’d end up dropping out of college in his first English 101 class. To be successful and accepted by Americans, a person has to learn so many things -- like who Mark Twain is, how to talk

about a movie or write an email. We want successful students. Having internationals from many countries helps people feel welcome and not alone here.

DC. Could you clarify your term ‘”ugly” American’ for the less traveled/cultured OBcean (like myself ) who had travel plans which vaporized upon arrival here?

RA. Well, an “ugly American” is a loud and obnoxious American who travels to a foreign country but is ignorant of the country and its customs. Someone who thinks spending large sums of money is an excuse for being demanding. It’s easy to prevent. All one needs to learn is the type of government, the name of the president or prime minister, and please and thank you in the language native to the people who are serving you in public places. It’s so nice to be able to say “thank you” in someone else’s language. It really means a lot -- just like it does to us.

DC. Give me an example of cultural training.

RA. In Brazil, you can’t flash around the gesture for “okay”. You know, when you make an “o” shape with your thumb and forefinger? That means something entirely different there -- and not very nice. You want to hear something interesting? At one time, the most failed move to make was from the United States to Great Britain. Even though the language is so similar the differences fit on a single page, the cultural differences were so complicated that many companies failed to train families moving there for business. It was an oversight that caused many corporate moves there to fail -- more than any other destination. This is simply because there was no need for language training, and therefore there was too little cross-cultural training.

DC. What is brain elasticity?

RA. There is much research being published recently about the elasticity of the brain that suggests that using your brain in intensive concentration and problem solving allows your brain to continue to produce an ability for intensive concentration and problem solving. Pretty simple, really. Learning another language is one of the best ways to use your brain in high levels of concentration. In a special by PBS, it was said that learning another language could actually delay Alzheimer’s disease by about five years. That’s amazing.

DC. What is the most exciting affect WordWide could have/has on our community?

RA. Word-Wide ESL Institute is a post-secondary, nationally accredited school authorized under Federal law to enroll non-immigrant alien students. What that means to Ocean Beach is that our school is able to attract people from other countries into Ocean Beach to learn English, and that has a positive economic impact. Plus, it allows our students to learn about Americans from the uniquely tolerant Ocean Beach perspective. Our students are not allowed to work, just to go to school. So, with the host-family exchange alone, if you’re a young family struggling to pay for a three-bedroom home in Ocean Beach, our school allows you to host a student, have dinner and do things that are fun with an interesting person and provide you with income during the months you want or all year long. Besides, you might make such good friends that you or your children might have another friend to

visit in the world.

One of the things that was really important to me in bringing this school to Ocean Beach was the ability to teach English to Americans or residents of the United States at low prices. Our international students provide a foundation in which to teach English to anyone who will benefit from our programs. We practice doing it very fast, too: from total beginner to advanced in a little under two years – that’s two years faster than most other ESL schools. That saves all of our students time and money – and gets them into college faster, but it also ensures a Certificate in English is available to any high school graduate whether already in the United States or coming to our school from other lands.

Another thing is that our international students are taught English to compete with native speakers, so that they may go to a college or university in the United States or do business speaking English in their home countries. The latter certainly helps Americans while traveling abroad, but the former raises the bar for English competence in higher education in our country.

DC. the world?

RA. WordWide is serious about teaching languages for world peace. On a small scale, it creates international friendships and bonds. Last night, we were all at a student’s house for a late dinner, and it almost brought tears to my eyes to watch our student from Chile exchange cell phone numbers with our student from Saudi Arabia. It wasn’t just the very polite exchange of phone numbers that got to me; it was that they each had to ask the other to spell out his name.

Then, I also think of the worst things that can happen, like in Candide, and the difference languages make in times of war. I truly believe it would be a lot harder to point a gun at an American if the person with the gun had lived with a really nice American family for two years while he or she was learning English at my school in Ocean Beach – especially if the American started talking in a language other than English. I seriously believe that if America is to dictate how the rest of the world should behave, the least we can do is to have gone in our own back yard first and grown our own garden.

For more info, feel free to contact Rose, she is a dear doll of a woman.

World peace through language education, Word Wide , 4843 Voltaire Street, Suite A,San Diego, CA 92107 Tel: (619) 222-6411 Fax: (619) 222-6404 [email protected]


Breaking news – Just been reported that President Gerald Ford has survived a second assassination

attempt, this time by Sara Jane Moore in San Francisco. It was only two weeks ago In Sacramento that Lynette Fromme, a follower of jailed cult leader Charles Manson, attempted to assassinate Ford, but was thwarted by a Secret Service agent.

On The Home Front – Fugitive Patricia Hearst has been captured in San Francisco.

Abuse by CIA – U.S. President Gerald Ford appoints Vice President Nelson Rockefeller to head a special commission looking into alleged domestic abuses by the CIA.

The Trial Begins – The trial begins after the earlier in the year bombing of the U.S. State Department main office in Washington, D.C. by a group known as The Weather Underground.

Across the pond – The London Hilton hotel has been bombed by the Provisional Irish Republican Army; 2 people have been killed and 63 injured.British police are dealing with a siege that occured at the Spaghetti House restaurant in Knightsbridge, London.Reports are that three men created a hostage taking situation, where the managers of the chain had assembled to pay in the week’s

takings (approximately £13,000). It may be that the siege was simply an armed robbery that went wrong. Nine Italian staff members were taken prisoner, and moved into the basement; another escaped and raised the alarm.The Metropolitan Police surrounded the restaurant and cordoned off the area. The gunmen, claiming to represent the Black Liberation Front, a Black Panther splinter group, demanded safe passage and an aircraft out of the country to Jamaica. Sir Robert Mark, the then Commissioner, consulted with the Home Office and refused.Psychiatrist Dr Peter Scott gave advice about the mental state of the criminals. Radio reporters demoralised the robbers with the insistence their demands would never be met, and the Daily Mail suppressed a scoop at the commissioner’s request, concerning the police arrest of a believed confederate of Davies. The police also ensured Davies received a false message that his alleged confederate was selling information to the newspapers. The demoralised robbers and their captives emerged unharmed.

The Yorkshire Ripper – A man in Yorkshire, England has been visciously

atttacking young women. A few weeks ago he attacked Anna Rogulskyj (aged 36), who was walking alone, striking her unconscious with a ball-pein hammer and slashing her stomach with a knife. Disturbed by

a neighbour, he left without killing her. Anna Rogulskyj is expected to survive.Just a week ago Wilma McCann (aged 28), from the Chapeltown district of Leeds, a mother of four, was killed on 30 October. The same man, now being reffered to as “The Yorkshire Ripper” struck her twice with a hammer before stabbing her 15 times in the neck, chest, and abdomen. Traces of semen were found on the back of her pants. An extensive inquiry, involving 150 police officers and 11,000 interviews, did not uncover Sutcliffe.

On The World Scene – A coup d’état in Chad led by the military overthrows has left President François Tombalbaye dead.

This breaks my ‘art’ – Rembrandt’s painting “The Night Watch” is slashed a dozen times at the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam.

On a lighter note – NBC has aired the first episode of Saturday Night Live with host George Carlin.

Disco Fever – The infamous New York Discoteque, Studio 54 is being called a moral obscenity by many residents of New York City. They say that the place glamourizes Marijuana & Cocaine. They’d like to have the place shut down. Where will the “beautiful people” go then?

Music News – The Rolling Stones open their North American Tour in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.The Bee Gees begin their mid-70s comeback and Jive Talkin’ reaches #1 and goes platinum with sales over 1 million.Pink Floyd released a new album ‘Wish You Were Here’ aI think its gonna be a huge hit.Bob Dylan’s Rolling Thunder Revue tour beginsThe Ramones release their debut single, “Blitzkrieg Bop”.The Sex Pistols played their first concert at St. Martin’s School of Art in London. The local music weeklies are calling it ‘punk rock’ and think its gonna be the next ‘big’ thing.Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” goes to number one.Peter Gabriel has left Genesis - what next!

Cost of living is rising – Average Cost of new house $39,300.00

Average Income per year $14,100.00

Average Monthly Rent $200.00

Cost of a gallon of Gas 44 cents

Average cost new car $4,250.00

Foster Grant Sun Glasses $5.00


I’ve noticed that there are as many different styles of walking as there are people who perform the function. So one sunny day, while relaxing at Dog Beach, I decided to jot down my

observations.With such a cornucopia of walkers

passing in front of me, I tried to come up with as many alternatives to the verb "walk" as I could. A single word doesn’t always work. Sometimes it takes a few. A friend of mine used to describe folks as “walking with their heads,” or “walking with their chests.” I asked her to show me how that would look. She had no problem animating her descriptions for me, which caused me to laugh so hard I had to hold various parts of my anatomy intact.

The first specimen I was able to identify was the “sprinter.” The sprinters are the athletic types, or those aspiring to be athletic, who sprint everywhere; to the shore, back to their towels, in front of the opposite sex, and alongside of their dogs. The male sprinters are more interesting than the female especially if they are trying to keep their bellies in check. Sometimes they do the belly-suck-in sprint, which involves a bit of holding the breath to present a more flat tummy. I always hope they don’t faint from lack of oxygen.

The next category on my list is the “lumberers.” The lumberers are either old, infirmed, lazy, or just plain tired. Their gate is slow and sways from side to side with a heavy kind of pokiness. Everything is an effort. I saw an older dog that was lumbering. Unfortunately, he had a sprinter for an owner. No matter how much the man begged him, the dog would not move any faster. “I ain’t gonna run on no damn beach,” the dog seemed to be saying while lowering his head and rolling his eyes upward in disgust.

Next we come to the “strutters.” This is probably the most populated category. Actually, I think there needs to be some subcategories here. The main group of strutters moves like “wise guys” and pop their weight from one side to the other while including a bit of head action. Everyone

struts in South Philadelphia, where I was born. That’s why the Mummers are so popular there. To properly do the Mummers’ Strut takes talent. And guts. Even women strut with a certain “tough guy” bounce in their step. My brother is from Philly and used to strut, but then he moved to Texas and learned to swagger. So now he either swuts or straggers. A very weird combination matched by his Philly accent that has been influenced with a Texas twang.

Another kind of strut is more akin to that of a runway model. This particular type of walk is usually performed by females with great bodies wearing bikinis. They put one foot directly in front of the other, which causes their hips to jut up and down. It’s pretty close to what my older African-American friend used to call “switching” only with much less shoulder movement. I tried to switch when I was very young but couldn’t coordinate my hips with my shoulders and wound up looking as if I had an affliction. My father kept asking me, “What’s the matter with you? You got something wrong with your foot? Your leg? Your ass? What? What? Somebody beat you up? Huh? Tell me who it was, I’ll kill him! I’ll kill him!”

The “swagger” is at the top of my list of favorites. Not too many people on Dog Beach swagger. They saunter, promenade, trudge and stroll, but they don’t swagger. In Texas, swaggering is held to a very high standard. It is an art. If you have bow legs, you can really get the swaggering going in the right direction. This form of walking is perfected only after much practice and perseverance. Everyone thinks George Bush has a swagger. He doesn’t. He has more of a toddle mixed in with a bit of a saunter. A true swagger can be seen coming over the horizon. It rocks with confidence as it leans from left to right and rivals the strut for arrogance. Thumbs pushed into a waistband with fingers hanging out the front adds a final touch to a perfect swagger.

Some folks “prance.” Owners of small dogs have a tendency to prance. Big burley men and women with pit bulls tend not to prance. They either lumber or strut depending upon their age. It is important

beach etiquette and self-defense practice for prancers to leave plenty of room for strutters.

Of course there is still the “shuffle,” “slog” and “traipse.” Because of the sand and dog droppings, the shuffle is very popular at this spot. It is not at all uncommon to see a prancer suddenly break into an arm-flailing shuffle after stepping in a concealed pile of excrement. This event is usually followed by a traipsing to the water for a cleaning and a slogging back. Many times cursing accompanies the entire scenario.

The human body is capable of an unending repertoire of walking styles. Each one is an individual dance of personal expression. Each one is like a kinesthetic work of art, unique and beautiful. Each one is a joy to watch while sitting in the warm sand at Dog Beach.

By bohemianopus

Walking OB Style

The Amorous Milkman (1975)Randy Milkman Davey bites off more than he can chew when he starts to deliver more than pints of milk to some of the bored housewives on his route.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (1975)

McMurphy thinks he can get out of doing work while in prison by pretending to be mad. His plan backfires when he is sent to a mental asylum. He tries to liven the place up

a bit by playing card games and basketball with his fellow inmates, but the head nurse is after him at every turn. Starring Jack Nicholson.

Dog Day Afternoon (1975)

Based upon a real-life story that happened a few years ago in which the Chase Manhattan Bank in Flatbush, Brooklyn, was held siege by a gay bank robber determined to steal enough money for

his male lover to undergo a sex change operation. On a hot summer afternoon, the First Savings Bank of Brooklyn is held up by Sonny and Sal, two down-and-out characters. Although the bank manager and female tellers agree not to interfere with the robbery, Sonny finds that there’s actually nothing much to steal, as most of the cash has been picked up for the day. Sonny then gets an unexpected phone call from Police Captain Moretti, who tells him the place is surrounded by the city’s entire police force. .

Late Night Horror - Double BillDoors open at 10:30pm $2:00

The Exorcist (1973)

Linda Blair stars in this truly scary flick that has been causing so much controversy this past few years.

Something beyond comprehension is happening to a little girl on this street, in this house. A man has been called for as a last resort to try and save her. That man is The Exorcist.

The Wicker Man (1973)

Sgt. Howie travels to Summerisle to investigate the disappearance of a young girl. He

discovers that the locals are weird and unhelpful, and becomes determined to get to the bottom of the disappearance. The place belongs to Lord Summerisle and is famous because of their plantation of apples and other fruits and their harvest. Sgt. Howie realizes that the locals are pagans, practicing old rituals, and Rowan is probably alive and being prepared to be sacrificed. Be prepared for a frightening conclusion . . . that’s all i can say. Starring knock-out birds, Britt Ekland and Ingrid Pitt.

Tickets $1.50Your local Movie Theater

ocean beach chronicle #3

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