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Karen’s TOP 7 TIPS TO

CALM YOUR

BABY NOW

One thing that parents hate is to hear their baby cry. It can send the most

confident parent into a total tailspin. You end up trying ANYTHING to fix it.

You’d pay a million dollars at times if it would just stop!

The baby sleep market is full of devices to take the pain of a crying baby away

from parents. There are fancy chairs that swing and rock at the press of a button,

shushing devices that are put into cots or held against baby’s ears, white noise

apps, swaddle suits, cots on castors so they can rock, slings and baby carriers to

hold your baby close, bassinets that fit onto parents beds that are the next thing

to bed sharing. And the list could go on and on.

Crying is your baby’s way of communicating her/his physical and emotional

needs to us. Most babies will cry a lot in the early weeks and months and as much

as 1-3 hours, once or twice a day. This situation usually improves at 3-4 months of

age. At times it can feel overwhelming and parents often feel at a loss to know

what to do to stop it.

In those early weeks and months your baby will most probably cry a lot in the

early evening. We know this as the ‘witching hour’ and it’s often a result of a long

day with lots of stimulation they can’t turn off to. It can also be be exacerbated by

a build up of lactose and babies have a low lactase in the early months that leads

to a lactose load. You’ve probably heard the phrase ‘3-month colic’ mentioned a

lot. (READ MORE HERE)

It’s important to provide help and comfort to a crying baby. Leaving them to cry

for long periods and unattended leads to flooding the brain with cortisol, which

can lead to long-term emotional issues. As long as you’re with them and providing

support and comfort this is very unlikely to happen.

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Some babies do cry more than others and they cry for many different reasons:

How do you know why you’re baby is crying?

Sometimes it’s really hard to know why they’re crying. Parents feel they should

know but as I always say they don’t come with an instruction manual and every

baby is different. It’s important to know that some crying is normal and to be

expected, but any excessive crying should always be investigated.

Nurturing love and cuddles helps physical & emotional health

It must be such a huge adaptation from being in a lovely warm and snug womb to

this outside world of noise, sensory experiences and new relationships. The first 3

months are a time of more than normal crying and we call this the 4th trimester.

Babies benefit from lots of love and cuddles and love to be swaddled, almost like

being back in the womb. It helps them feel secure and adapt to this new crazy

world. Think of this as helping your baby adapt and not as spoiling them. I’ve never

seen a baby spoilt with too much love. They’re only little for such a short period of

time. Babies that are held and cuddled in a positive way, grow to make secure

attachments and healthy emotions as an adult. So try and ignore, in a polite way,

any well-meaning relation who says you are spoiling your baby with too much

love!

So what can you do right now to get your baby to calm and sleep?

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• Hunger

• Tummy ache/colic/wind/gas

• Overtired

• Bored and want attention

• Wet or dirty nappy

• Too cold or too hot

• Uncomfortable

7 TIPS TO HELP YOUR BABY TO

CALM AND GET TO SLEEP

1. Cuddles are so important

You can never give too many cuddles.

Looking at your baby and talking to

them in a calm positive voice helps

make more networks in their brain. So

don’t be frightened of cuddling a

crying baby, you are helping your baby

navigate whatever is causing them to

cry.

Even if you need to hold them to sleep know that you are helping your baby.

2. Have a positive day and night routine to help create security.

I’m not talking about a strict schedule, more a pattern of behaviour. We know that

routines reduce cortisol and increase security in babies. Structure also helps mum

and dad learn to manage their baby’s day. The type of routine I find many parents

find helpful is feed-play-sleep and feed-play-feed-sleep for day-time and at night-

time it’s a straight forward feed-sleep. Bedtime routines can be started at 3

months and by 6 months your baby will know their routine and that sleep is

coming. At 6 months I like to give solids at 5pm, bath by 6pm and story and milk

feed at 6-6:30pm and bed not long after 6:30pm.

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3. Baby massage helps baby’s feel calm and soothed.

It is also known to help them get to sleep

quicker and sleep much better. If every parent

knew this I think more babies would

experience a blissful baby massage every day!

Do it as part of your afternoon routine. Trying

to fit too much into your bedtime routine can

create an overtired baby and worn out frazzled

parents. Use grape seed oil to massage with

and gentle strokes down all the limbs away

from the heart and either side of the spine are

recommended.

My best selling baby massage book and baby massage video offer helpful

instruction on best practice for a blissed out bub.

4. White noise has helped many baby’s stop crying.

It stops the loud hysterical, overtired baby back into a calm moment. Having

witnessed it myself it is quite amazing. I only use it sparingly and only when I’m

sleep training an overwhelmed baby. One mum recounts her experience, “I

learned the power of white noise when Baby V and I ventured out to meet some

new mums for lunch. As I frantically tried to reverse the ensuing meltdown,

another mum came over with her phone. “Try this,” she said as she held up her

phone and blasted white noise. Lo and behold, her black magic worked. Instantly,

Baby V snapped to attention, stopped screaming and stared wide-eyed at the dark

wizardry that is the White Noise Lite app.” But lots of parents do rely on white

noise to soothe their babies and help them sleep through the night. These

machines are recommended on top parenting websites by top paediatricians,

parenting bloggers and, most convincingly, all of the other parents you know.

White noise machines are literally everywhere. Like other sleep aids I avoid using

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them after 3 months. It just creates another layer of sleep association that

eventually becomes unhelpful to the baby. But now, a study published online

[Paediatrics, March 2015] is attempting to silence these ringing endorsements.

After analysing the max output of these machines, the study authors conclude

that some have the potential to harm babies. Any level of white noise over 85db

has the potential to harm the baby’s delicate eardrum. Sobering reading. Keep the

noise level at 65db or below and those delicate little ears will be OK.

5. Keeping yourself calm is so important.

Babies pick up and feed off our anxieties. As a

midwife I learnt this very quickly and I’ve learnt

to be mindful and calm. I remember being in a

nursery on postnatal on night shift in the UK.

This was before the days of baby rooming in

with mum. I had 6 babies in my nursery and they

all started crying at once. I felt so overwhelmed

and stressed. I attended to them all as quickly

as I could and fed the loudest first and so on.

There wasn’t time for lots of love and care. It

was practical care and pure survival!

It most certainly was not an enjoyable experience for anyone. Thank goodness for

rooming in.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed try taking a few more breaths out than you take in

to calm yourself. The ratio of 3 breaths in to 5 breaths out is generally

recommended to calm yourself. Concentrating on this can help you get calm and

mindful. Other good calming techniques are chanting a yoga ‘OM’ or shushing. All

these will not only calm you but also baby too.

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6. The lazy lion, a baby yoga position has reduced crying and

provided comfort to many babies.

I discovered this little gem whilst working on

night shift on postnatal. In the UK I was the

only midwife for a postnatal ward of 26 mums

and babies. We had an auxiliary nurse to help

us but that was all! So I had to develop ways of

calming these fractious new babies. I found this

position was a lifesaver and soothed many

babies. It stimulates the vestibular system

(balance) in babies and is an instant soother.

Amazing. Since doing my baby yoga diploma I

discovered it is a tried and tested soothing

yoga position for babies. It is sometimes known

as the ‘Tiger in the Tree’.

The baby is held on their front, over your forearm and your other arm and hand is

either supporting their tummy (see photo above) or gently massaging it in a

clockwise direction.

7. Baby wearing is a great way of calming an overwhelmed baby.

We’ve been baby wearing for generations and it’s really back in vogue with the

attachment parenting movement. We know that babies that are held will cry

much less than babies who are not. Sometimes this crying can be as much as 50%

less. It is instinctual to keep your baby close to you. It helps attachment and

bonding. We become in-tune with our baby’s bio-rhythms as they do us. Babies

are instantly soothed as they sense our smell and listen to the heart rate that was

so familiar in utero. (READ MORE HERE) Choose an age appropriate sling or

carrier and one that supports baby’s hips and head.

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I’d like to reassure you, the parents that some crying is necessary and unavoidable

and it can actually be a healthy thing.

Crying teaches your baby about emotions, the ups and downs of life and

emotional self-regulation. Being able to self-regulate helps your baby prepare for

life and builds confidence and resilience. As parents, as long as you are supporting

your baby and are present whilst they are having a little cry that is the key thing.

It’s when babies are left to cry for hours on end that this is known as toxic stress

and real harm happens to babies. Love and cuddles are important to support them

through the challenges of being a baby and helps them navigate those

developmental changes AKA Wonder Weeks so much smoother.

Nobody was ever been harmed with too much love and they are only little for a

very short period of time. Enjoy every second and I hope you liked my 7 tips to

help calm a crying baby.

If you’re still feeling helpless and in need of

support the Nurture Parenting team and

myself are here to support you.

Through a range of online and in home

programs we can help bring peace and

tranquility to your home, for more details

on our current range of services please

visit our website and get in touch.

All the best,

Karen

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