For more information: holtinternational.org/korea

888-355-HOLT

Fall

2013

HURRY!Great gift ideas inside! GIfts of hopeINSIDE: Christmas 2013

A partnership for children and families in Ethiopia

Moving

HEARTS ACTIONto

november-december 2013 vol. 55 no. 5

our visionA world where every child has a loving and secure home.

In 1955 Harry and Bertha Holt responded to the conviction that God had called them to help children left homeless by the Korean War. Though it took an act of the U.S. Congress, the Holts adopted eight of those children. But they were moved by the desperate plight of other orphaned children in Korea and other countries as well, so they founded Holt International Children’s Services in order to unite homeless children with families who would love them as their own. Today Holt International serves children and families in Cambodia, China, Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (North Korea), Ethiopia, Haiti, India, Nepal, the Philippines, the Republic of Korea (South Korea), Thailand, Mongolia, Uganda, the United States and Vietnam.

president & ceoPhillip A. Littletonvice-president of Africa & haiti programsDan Lauervice-president of finance & Administration Kevin Sweeneyvice-president of Adoption services Lisa Vertulfovice-president of development Jack Wharfieldvice-president of policy & external Affairs Susan Soonkeum Coxvice president of Asia programsDavid Limvice president of china programsJian Chen

Holt International magazine is published by Holt International Children’s Services, Inc., a nonprofit, Christian, child welfare organization. While Holt International is responsible for the content of Holt International magazine, the viewpoints expressed in this publication are not necessarily those of the organization.

creative services director Brian Campbellcreative services manager Laura Mathews managing editor Robin Munrowriter/editor Ashli Keyserwriter/editor Billie Loewen

subscription orders/Inquiries & Address changesSend all editorial correspondence and changes of address to Holt International magazine, Holt International, P.O. Box 2880, Eugene, OR 97402. We ask for an annual donation of $20 to cover the cost of publication and mailing inside the United States and $40 outside the United States. Holt welcomes the contribution of letters and articles for publication, but assumes no responsibility for return of letters, manuscripts or photos.

reprint InformationPermission from Holt International is required prior to reprinting any portion of Holt International magazine. Please direct reprint requests to editor Brian Campbell at 541/687.2202 or brianc@holtinternational.org.

copyright ©2013 by holt International children’s services, Inc.Issn 1047-7640

in this issue4 A Place of Hope & Promise

In Shinshicho, Ethiopia, Holt is partnering with the local community to improve the lives of children and families.

11 Holt’s Gifts of Hope catalogHonor your loved ones this holiday season by giving gifts of hope to children and families in need.

22 Adoptees TodayAn adult adoptee shares her story of meeting her birth family in Korea.

24 Post Adoption Struggling with their daughter’s indiscriminate affection, a family learns ways to teach her about appropriate boundaries.

This month, we explore Holt's work in Ethiopia, from family strengthening projects like the Shinshicho Mother and Child Hospital, to the changing adop-tion landscape. Cover photo by Jessica Boever Photography.

P.O. Box 2880 (1195 City View) Eugene, OR 97402 Ph: 541/687.2202 Fax: 541/683.6175

Dear Readers

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I’m excited to share with you the fall 2013 issue of Holt International Magazine! In

this issue, we feature a story about our recent work in Ethiopia. In three vignettes, staff

writer Billie Loewen explores the different ways Holt is working to improve the health

and wellbeing of families and children in the southern region of Shinshicho — from

supporting a new school for deaf children, to partnering with the community to build

a hospital focused on maternal-child health. These projects bolster our efforts to help

vulnerable children remain in the loving care of their birth families, and we are so

excited to see the lasting impact they will have on this beautiful community.

This month, we are also celebrating another important part of our work. November

is National Adoption Month! While in recent years we have broadened the scope of

our work to focus on family strengthening and other child welfare programs, interna-

tional adoption remains a significant part of what we do. We still seek a world where

every child has a loving and secure home. And we still seek families for children who

truly need them — children like Kettie Lou Britton, whose face graces the cover of this

magazine. Kettie just came home to her family from Ethiopia this past July. Her story

is featured on page 8.

This National Adoption Month, join us in advocating for children who need families!

Start by reading about Shaun, Scott, Anderson and Andy in the waiting child section of

this magazine. Boys, especially older boys, continue to need extra help finding loving

families, and you can help by sharing their stories.

During this year’s awareness campaign, we will be sharing lots of wonderful family

and adoptee stories on the Holt blog and social media pages. We will also post stories

about children waiting for families, and helpful information about everything from

affording adoption to post-adoption services for families and adoptees. As an adoptive

parent, you can encourage others to consider adoption by sharing your own story. Or if

you’re considering adoption — what a wonderful month to begin your journey! Follow

us online at www.holtinternational.org/blog for more ideas and inspiration on how you

can help advocate for orphaned and abandoned children this National Adoption Month.

Adoption Rocks!

directions

P.O. Box 2880 (1195 City View) Eugene, OR 97402 Ph: 541/687.2202 Fax: 541/683.6175

A message of hope, A Gift of love A holiday message from Holt’s President and CEO

Weaved throughout the Christmas season is the theme

of “messages.” We celebrate Christmas to remember the

birth of our savior, Jesus Christ. God sent Jesus to earth

to share His message of love and hope for the future. And

today, as we prepare for the holidays, we receive messages

in our mail from family and friends, wishing us happiness

and health. These warm messages offer us all a heart-

felt reminder of all the blessings the Lord has provided

throughout the year.

I recently returned from a trip to Ethiopia, a beauti-

ful country, indeed, but one that is in desperate need of

another kind of message — a message from people here in

the United States, especially at Christmas time. A message

that we have not forgotten what the Lord has called us to

do: “help the widows and orphans in their distress.”

Through our special Gifts of Hope catalog, Holt offers

you a chance to do just that, and not only in Ethiopia.

Maybe you adopted a child from China or India. Wouldn’t

it be special to send a Christmas gift to a vulnerable child

who lives in your child’s birth country? Or help a struggling

family provide for their children? This holiday season, you

can purchase gift items for your family members and other

loved ones that will go directly to children in Holt’s care.

Items that will help a girl in India receive a proper educa-

tion, or help a family generate income.

This Christmas, you can also help Holt finish construc-

tion on the maternal-child hospital in Shinshicho, Ethiopia

— the project featured on page 6. Through your gift, you

could help save the lives of thousands of children, and

bring a brighter future to the people of Shinshicho.

Just as we receive loving messages during Christmas

time, it’s time to send the people of Ethiopia, and all the

countries where we work, a message that we care about

what happens to them. A Christ-centered message of good

wishes, of health, of happiness and of hope.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

phillip A. littleton | President

Scan here for Gifts of Hope giving opportunities online.Scan here for Gifts of Hope giving opportunities online.

In 2010, Ato Abebe AburA, a business-

man in Shinshicho, Ethiopia, was walking

through a lively market where residents

sell coffee beans from hand-woven bas-

kets, rolls of colorful fabric, and heaps of

bananas. Families were busy buying and

selling goods, and children were busy run-

ning and playing. He saw a group of children

surrounding one boy. At first, he thought

they were playing. When he realized the

boy was being beaten, Abebe rushed in to

help. He broke up the crowd and pulled the

boy to his feet.

It took a moment, but Abebe soon real-

ized why the boy was being bullied. He was

deaf.

In Shinshicho, the rate of deafness in

children is alarmingly high. More than 500

children in the area have been identified as

deaf, and most are from poverty-stricken

families — the same families we support

through family strengthening and other

programs. No one is sure why deafness

is so prevalent here. Some think it may

be an adverse side effect of malaria, or

even malaria antibiotics. Others suspect

it’s genetic.

While the cause is unclear, the impact

on deaf children is quite apparent — and

goes beyond a daily struggle to communi-

cate. In Ethiopia, most physical disabilities

are heavily stigmatized. “For children with

disabilities, including deafness and blind-

ness, it is very terrible,” says Dan Lauer,

Holt’s vice president of programs in Africa

and Haiti. “They are marginalized from the

community.”

Until three years ago, the deaf children of

Shinshicho were mostly kept behind closed

doors and had nowhere to learn. Without a

place in society, they also risked losing their

families — ending up on the streets, vulner-

able to abuse and exploitation.

In 2010, Abebe convInced coun-

try officials to donate a mud-and-stick,

two-room school, and he worked with the

ministry to find sign language teachers.

Recognizing that this school is vital to

keeping deaf children in their families, Holt

aided with supplies, and now about 200 stu-

dents attend the first school in Shinshicho

for deaf children. For some of these chil-

dren, the school is the first place — outside

of their homes — where they feel safe and

loved.

During Dan’s visit in August, he watched

as children bent and curled their fingers,

following the hand movements of their

teachers in white lab coats. Their shoulders

touched those of the student sitting on a

bench next to them, and the classroom

was hot and sticky. The teacher scratched

a stick-figure shape of a dog onto the black-

board with chalk. The kids slapped their

thigh twice, lifted their hand near their chin

and snapped their fingers. Dog.

In the classroom with older kids, they

were stringing together sentences, and

learning to write in English and Amharic.

“This school is giving our children a

chance for a future,” one student’s father

told Dan. “Before they came to this school,

they could not talk to anyone, includ-

ing their mothers and fathers. Now they

have a life that was not possible before.

Whatever it takes to get them to school, we

will do it.”

On Saturdays, parents attend classes too,

learning to communicate with their child

for the first time. The parents laugh and

follow along in the lesson with their child.

Some have walked up to eight miles to be

here. “Most of these parents are very poor,”

Dan says. “They are mostly illiterate and for

them, this is their first time receiving an

education. It’s very emotional for them.”

AlreAdy, the number of students

has overwhelmed the available space and

resources. When the school opened, they

had space for 50 students, but didn’t want

to turn away any of the hopeful faces who

showed up — eager to learn.

With the help of local officials and Holt,

the community is drafting plans to expand

the school. Next year, the school hopes to

add at least 100 new students, and continue

adding students at the same rate each year

until every deaf child is included.

By giving them a place in society, this

grassroots movement is slowly erasing the

stigma against deaf children in Shinshicho.

“For the first time, kids get to have support-

ive friendships and normal childhoods,” Dan

said. “They get to re-enter their community,

and be embraced.”

Holt is working with the school to deter-

mine how we can continue to assist. Holt

hopes to add 50-100 families with deaf

children to our sponsorship and family

strengthening program. In addition to edu-

cational assistance, sponsors will help pro-

vide these families with medical care, live-

stock and other projects to generate income,

and other vital services. While these family

strengthening services will help keep deaf

children in their families, the education

they receive at the school is essential to their

overall health and wellbeing. In many ways,

supporting this school is an important part

of achieving our mission in Shinshicho.

Less than three blocks away stands the

nearly complete Shinshicho Mother and

Child Hospital — the hospital Holt is help-

ing to build for the people of this commu-

nity. Dan hopes that once the hospital is

operational, some time and resources will go

toward studying and identifying the cause

of deafness in the region — and ultimately,

eradicating it from Shinshicho.

A PLACE OF HOPE & PROMISE

billie loewen | Staff Writer

Whether it is two communities partnering to build a life-saving hospital, sponsors and parents joining forces to educate children with special needs, or a family welcoming home their newest edition, Holt International and the people of Shinshicho, Ethiopia have come together for one cause: to give children a brighter, more hopeful future.

A PLACE TO LEARN

TOP LEFT: Students follow along with their teacher during a lesson at Shinshicho's first school for deaf children. The number of deaf children in this region is alarmingly high, and no one is sure why it is so prevalent. TOP CENTER: A teacher signs the alphabet with her students. When the school for deaf children opened in 2010, the teachers expected 50 students. On the first day, more than 100 showed up for classes. The school has grown to include 200 students, and hopes to add 100 new students per year until every deaf child is in attendance. TOP RIGHT: On Saturdays, parents attend class with their child. Some are learning to communicate with their child for the first time. BOTTOM: Children run and play near Shinshicho, where the first deaf school in the region is helping erase the stigma associated with this common special need.

the pArKInG lot of Eugene, Oregon’s Big Y

Storage looks like a Tetris board of metal IV

drips, padded gurneys and birthing equip-

ment. On an unseasonably hot September

morning, volunteers from four local organi-

zations and businesses are emptying three

large bays of storage, each overflowing with

medical gadgets, into a semi-truck.

From the Big Y lot, the equipment will

embark on the first leg of a two-month jour-

ney, from Eugene to Seattle in a 40-foot ship-

ping crate, across the Pacific by ship to the

port of Djibouti in the horn of Africa, then by

truck to its final destination — the hospital

Holt is helping to build in Shinshicho.

In this isolated region scarred by civil war,

famine and illness, thousands of women

and children die every year in childbirth, or

from other preventable causes.

Three years ago, Holt allied with the

Shinshicho community to combat

this reality. Together, we would build a

40,000-square foot maternal and child hos-

pital in Shinshicho, equipped with surgical

units, X-ray labs and more than 100 doc-

tors trained in advanced care. Although

this project developed from a partnership

between Holt and Shinshicho, Holt never

anticipated this decision would unite two

communities from opposite ends of the

globe; together, we would turn an incredible

vision into a life-saving reality.

It all started in 2007.

when holt beGAn a family strength-

ening project in Shinshicho six years ago,

the region's only health clinic desperately

needed repairs. Many mothers were forced

to gamble on their health, and the health

of their children. When children had high

fevers or mothers went into labor, they

could try to make the 12-mile journey by

foot to the nearest hospital, or hope for the

best. Seeing the tremendous need for bet-

ter medical care, Holt helped revamp the

run-down clinic, and more than 50,000

people received care the first year. Still,

the clinic couldn’t treat more advanced

conditions.

At the urging of Shinshicho elders, Holt

and officials from Ethiopia began to draft

plans for a hospital focused on mother and

child health, but equipped to offer life-sav-

ing medical care to the 250,000 people who

live in the region.

Neither Holt nor Shinshicho could have

predicted how God would make the hospital

come together. But Psalm 145:14 is a remind-

er that, “The Lord is faithful to all His prom-

ises and loving toward all He has made.”

True to His promises, the Lord orchestrated

a plan that moved hearts to action.

In 2009, a year before the hospital project

officially began, Patric and Holly Campbell

traveled to Ethiopia to adopt their son,

Miles. While there, they visited the clinic in

Shinshicho, and heard about plans for the

new hospital. Not long after the trip, Patric

was in a board meeting at Slocum Center for

Orthopedics and Sports Medicine in Eugene,

Oregon — the Campbells just happen to

live in the same town as Holt’s headquar-

ters — when he heard the company wanted

LEFT: Rotary Club members help move donated hospital equipment from storage bays into a semi-truck. The

equipment arrived in Shinshicho, Ethiopia in October. CENTER: Children and parents near the mother and child

hospital Holt is helping to build in Shinshicho. In Shinshicho, the closest hospital is about 12 miles away. RIGHT: The

mother and child hospital in Shinshicho is expected to be complete in early 2014.

Neither Holt nor Shinshicho elders could have predicted how God would make the hospital come together. But Psalm 145:14 is a reminder that, “The Lord is faithful to all His promises and loving toward all He has made."

A PLACE TO HEAL

To help support the Shinshicho Mother and Child Hospital, turn

to page 17

to upgrade some of their X-ray equipment.

Patric saw an opportunity to help the hos-

pital that still weighed heavy on his heart,

and asked Slocum to donate their unneeded

equipment to Shinshicho.

“The equipment still had a 20-plus year

lifespan,” Patric says, “Slocum didn’t want

the equipment to become junk.”

In 2010, Slocum donated two full rooms of

X-ray equipment, including tables, machines

and film processing materials.

meAnwhIle, In shInshIcho, the hos-

pital project was transforming local families

before the foundation had even been poured.

Holt strived to employ locals to build the

hospital, which created more than 200 new

jobs in the area.

“Part of the reason the hospital is tak-

ing longer to build is that it was important

to keep the work local, which means the

workers had to be trained,” says Holt’s vice

president of Africa programs, Dan Lauer.

The construction crew has learned skills

that will continue to increase their employ-

ment opportunities long after the hospital

is complete, ultimately strengthening their

ability to provide for their children.

Four village elders rallied the community

to raise funds, and gathered support from

farmers, ministry officials and local lead-

ers. Already, the people of Shinshicho have

pooled more than $150,000, and they’ve

done it by donating $2-20 at a time. Many

people in Shinshicho live on less than $2 per

day, so these funds represent a tremendous

sacrifice. “When I visit people struggling to

survive — they mostly live on subsistence

farming — it’s amazing to think of that

many donations,” Dan says.

After slocum donAted the X-ray

equipment, Patric told hospital administra-

tors about Shinshicho, and some clinics

donated equipment. Patric also met with

Eugene’s Delta Rotary Club, which shared

some incredible news. Across Oregon, when

medical clinics updated their equipment,

rotary clubs in the area had the vision to

place the discarded equipment into storage.

Across the state, hospital supplies began to

stockpile, waiting to be put to good use.

Shinshicho was the perfect opportuni-

ty.

In 2011, Big Y Storage donated three bays

of space to keep the hospital equipment in

one central location in Eugene.

On the equipment shipping day, Rotary

Club members volunteered to do the heavy

lifting, and an international shipping com-

pany based in Eugene, Lile Moving and

Storage, donated trucks to facilitate the

haul. Wheelchairs, ultrasound machines,

and exam tables litter Big Y’s parking lot.

While Patric coordinates the move on his

cell phone, volunteers carry boxes of gowns,

blankets and X-ray illuminators into the

truck, which will then transport the sup-

plies to Lile’s headquarters. Then, every-

thing, including Slocum’s X-ray equipment,

will be loaded into one of two 40-foot metal

shipping containers.

Already, Shinshicho is drafting future

plans for the hospital. The district donated

a large parcel of land, which could some day

house medical staff offices or a care center

for the elderly. The zonal health ministry

is committed to staffing the hospital long-

term, and continuing to invest financial

resources in the project.

The community of Eugene helped the hos-

pital get off the ground, but it’s the commu-

nity of Shinshicho that will keep the hospital

running for years to come. The hospital is

set to open in early 2014, and already there

is a sense of hope — both in Eugene and

Shinshicho — for the future.

the bus bounced and bobbled during

a 45-minute drive on rough, dirt roads

through Ethiopia’s capital city. Shannon

and Jeff Britton had studied books on the

region, but this was their first time in the

country, and as the driver pulled up to a

small gate and honked a few times to be

let in, their hands shook with nervous-

ness. The care center director welcomed

the American guests, and led them to a

back room where a row of babies was fast

asleep. The caretaker picked up one baby,

a tiny 14-month-old who had just recently

entered care. Ketinbone, which means “she

who has pride,” wore a blue denim dress,

her short, dark hair separated into little

ponytails all over her head. Shannon wasn’t

sure whether to laugh or cry. She and Jeff

had waited more than two years for this

moment, fighting off doubt that it would

ever come. When the caretaker handed

Ketinbone to Shannon, the baby didn’t cry

or seem scared. Her big, sleepy brown eyes

curiously studied the woman smiling down

on her, tears in her eyes.

Ketinbone didn’t know it, but she was

meeting her parents for the first time.

In KetInbone’s nAtIve ethIopIA, more than 4.6 million children are miss-

ing one or both parents. Illness, economic

instability, and drought all threaten the

livelihood of families and children — chil-

dren like Ketinbone, who is just one of

many whose family felt compelled to relin-

quish her not for lack of love, but lack of

resources.

When Holt began our work in Ethiopia in

2007, we aimed to help strengthen vulner-

able families, and find families for orphaned

and abandoned children — for children who

truly need adoption to have a stable, loving

home. Whenever possible, we strive to keep

or reunite children with their birth families

before pursuing adoption. But some children

have lost their families. Or in some cases,

their families have made the informed deci-

sion to place them for adoption. For these

children, adoption is truly the best avenue

to a stable, loving family.

This fact has remained unchanged in the

years since Holt began placing children from

Ethiopia. What has changed is the number

of children coming home every year.

In 2008, adoption placements grew as

hopeful adoptive families learned of the

need in Ethiopia. The following year,

Shannon and Jeff Britton spent a week car-

ing for orphans in Guatemala, and their

hearts opened to the idea of adoption. On

Shannon’s 25th birthday — in 2010 — they

submitted paperwork to adopt a child from

Ethiopia. A short while later, Ethiopia began

to limit placements and create stricter adop-

tion guidelines over concerns about child

trafficking. While Holt joined forces with

the U.S. and Ethiopian government to help

ensure important protections for children

and their birth parents, the process slowed

to a near halt for many families. Meanwhile,

the number of orphaned and abandoned

children continued to grow.

Caught in the delays, the Brittons con-

tinued to wait for a match. They stayed

awake at night questioning whether adop-

tion was really God’s plan for them, and

every time Holt’s 541 area code appeared

on their phones — their hearts jumped, and

then sank. Then, one afternoon nearly two

years into the process, Shannon laid her son

down for a nap, and kicked back to relax.

Her phone rang.

“It was a number I didn’t recognize,

but it said Oregon, and if you’re adopting

from Holt, you always answer if it’s a call

from Oregon,” Shannon says. “I said hello,

expecting that we needed to turn some-

thing in.”

The call was from Holt. They had a daugh-

ter.

Crying, shaking and jumping, Shannon

drove to meet Jeff at his office. Together,

they opened an email from Holt, and a

picture of Ketinbone stared back at them.

In July 2013 — two years and eight months

from the time they applied to adopt —

Shannon and Jeff brought their daughter,

“Kettie Lou,” home.

todAy, As ethIopIA contInues to

strengthen safeguards for children, the

standard time frame to adopt from Ethiopia

is upwards of 26 months. But just this year,

Holt’s Ethiopia program has matched 70

children with families — a number small in

comparison to the 186 placed in 2010, but a

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TOP LEFT: Kettie Lou with her older brother, Charlie. Shannon says the siblings quickly became best friends. MIDDLE LEFT: Shannon and Kettie Lou meet for the first time at a childcare center in Addis, Ethiopia. Shannon and Jeff brought Kettie Lou home two years and eight months after applying to adopt. BOTTOM LEFT: Shannon, Jeff and Charlie welcome home Kettie Lou, one of 70 children Holt placed in 2013. RIGHT: Shannon says Kettie Lou is learning quickly. She is giggly and loves to eat.

A PLACE TO CALL HOME

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significant increase from the last two years. While the majority of chil-

dren being placed in loving homes are infants-to-3 years old, older chil-

dren, children with special needs, and sibling groups are also finding

families. As referral ages vary, Holt is only accepting applications from

families who are open to adopting a child 5 years or older, which helps

ensure that every child referred to us for home-finding will soon be

matched with a family. To keep wait times reasonable for families, our

Ethiopia program is only accepting a limited number of applications.

Shannon and Jeff say even though their process was tricky, the

transition home has been relatively easy. Kettie is giggly and happy.

She gained five pounds in her first seven weeks home. She and her

brother Charlie are best friends, and Kettie is learning to identify all

the members of her big new family. When Kettie is ready to learn about

her family in Africa, Holt has provided Jeff and Shannon an incredible

resource to guide that conversation.

In AprIl, holt began a partnership with care centers in Ethiopia

to create an innovative new resource for adoptees and their parents,

called “life books,” which are short, deeply personalized documen-

taries on the child’s birth country and life prior to adoption. The life

book helps answer an adoptee’s questions about his or her birth family,

and also reassures parents that their child’s relinquishment was well

considered and done purely out of love.

Kettie’s life book is about 11 minutes long and includes interviews

with her birth mother, scenes from the town where she was born, and

important information about Kettie’s birth family and circumstances

of relinquishment. The DVD is both heartbreaking and reassuring,

intimate yet candid.

Jeff and Shannon say Kettie’s life book is a blessing. Some day, it will

help answer questions Kettie may have, and remind Kettie how deeply

loved she was and is.

“We knew a lot of Kettie’s story before the life book was given to us,”

Shannon says. “Because of that, it was hard for us to get the courage

to watch it. We deeply love Kettie’s birth mother, and are saddened by

the events in her life. The blessing Kettie is to our family and our gain

came with great loss and pain for her young birth mother.” Like many

young women, Kettie’s birth mother faced tremendous struggles, and

wanted Kettie to have a better future.

Shannon is grateful that Kettie will be able to see what her birth

mother looks like, and hear how much she loves her.

While adoption wasn’t easy for the Brittons, it was worth it. “We

would cry every tear and go through those sleepless nights again in

a heartbeat,” Shannon says. “She is more than worth the wait.”

Interested in adopting from Ethiopia? Learn more at www.holtinternational.org/ethiopia.

VOLUNTEERS NEEDED to promote child sponsorship!Join Holt International & NewSong at

COMING SOON TO YOUR AREA!

SIGN UP TODAY!

we need volunteers for wInter JAm 2013Your gift of time for one evening will positively impact

a vulnerable child’s life forever!

Since 2006, NewSong has helped find more than 50,000

new sponsors for vulnerable children around the world.

We are excited to join forces again in 2013 to advocate for

orphaned, abandoned and at-risk children and families

overseas! Every year, in jam-packed stadiums from

the West to the East coasts, Winter Jam artists inspire

thousands of people to sponsor children in need.

Tell your family and friends about this fun and easy

way to make a difference in the life of a child — with Holt

and NewSong at a concert near you!

We look forward to seeing you at one of the 50 winter

and spring concerts planned for Winter Jam 2014! See

Holt’s website for a full list of concert dates and locations

and to register online as a volunteer!

Register NOW to volunteer at

a concert in your area! Go to:

holtinternational.org/winterjam

be A volunteer SIGN UP ONLINE AT: holtinternational.org/winterjam

YOU CAN HELP CHANGE A CHILD'S

LIFE FOREVER!

On September 24, 2004, we welcomed home our first child from

Ulsan City, South Korea — a boy we named Jake. When he came off

the plane, a relative of his escort pulled my husband aside and whis-

pered in his ear, “He is a wise old soul.”

Jake is a third grader now. He is a smart, compassionate kid with

one main love — hockey. When Jake was in preschool, he would use

everything — blocks, playdough, markers — to create a hockey arena.

He would make his classmates or friends stand while he sang both the

U.S. and Canadian national anthems. Always a determined little kid,

he learned to skate as a young toddler and now plays goalie for the

New Jersey Youth Devils hockey club.

We live in the suburbs of New Jersey, where our kids attend Brunner

Elementary School. As part of a grade-wide service learning project,

the third graders embarked on a mission to help others who need

companionship. The class identified and discussed different groups

who may be in need. After their teacher, Mrs. Pincus, read them a

child’s story about a community coming together to help those in

need — Give a Goat by Jan Schrock — Jake’s class was determined to

raise enough money to help struggling families. Some students held

bake sales, while others donated money from their allowances.

Inspired by the book and his classmates’ efforts, Jake came home

from school with an idea. He wanted to organize a fundraising event

that combined his desire to help others with his favorite sport, hockey.

He simulated a game often held between periods in NHL arenas

across North America, called Super Score O. In Super Score O, partici-

pants try to shoot a puck into the net from a set distance. It’s not an

easy game for any adult, let alone a third grader! Despite an early heat

wave in New Jersey, friends came out in droves to participate in Score

O. All together, his class raised $892.94, of which Jake and his Score O

teams contributed $330.

We weren’t surprised when Jake wanted to incorporate a hockey

theme into helping others, but we were surprised by how much

money he was able to raise. We were even more surprised when we

heard whom the money would benefit.

When Jake’s class was deciding where to donate the money, Jake

told them about Holt International, the agency through which we

adopted him and his sister, Chloe. After he shared how Holt helps

orphaned, abandoned and vulnerable children all over the world, Mrs.

Pincus’ third grade class decided to donate half the money they raised

to Holt. As a special way to honor Jake, the class felt the money should

go specifically towards the South Korea program! Of the $450 donated

to Holt, more than $300 will help children in Korea who need cleft lip

and palate surgeries, or surgeries for a congenital heart condition. The

rest will help support children living in foster care.

Holt’s foster care program in Korea holds a special place in our

hearts. Both Jake and Chloe were privileged to live in foster care while

they were in Korea. They received the unconditional love and care that

is vital to a child's healthy development. Words cannot express how

grateful we are to these selfless families who care for these babies as if

they were their own. The love Jake received in foster care helped shape

him into the loving and compassionate boy he is today.

We couldn’t be more proud of Jake, his amazing classmates, and his

extraordinary teacher, Mrs. Pincus, who helped teach such an invalu-

able lesson. She taught her students that altruism and generosity

can make the world a better place, and that wisdom can come from

anyone, at any age.

christine schunke | Scotch Plains, New Jersey

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score one for holtAs part of a service learning project at his school, Holt adoptee Jake Schunke uses his love of hockey to raise funds for orphaned and abandoned children in Korea.

ABOVE LEFT: Jake in his New Jersey Youth Devils hockey uniform, pictured with his sister, Chloe. ABOVE RIGHT: Jack and Chloe with their parents, Brian and Christine.

children who give

Help children with special needs receive the medical

care they need! See item #8 on page 14.

Help children with special needs receive the medical

care they need! See item #8 Giftsof

HOPE

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HURRY!Great gift ideas inside!

cows and donkeys save familiesA cow’s milk, fertilizer, calves and meat can quickly strengthen a family’s

fi nancial stability and help them escape hunger for good. Donkeys help

transport grains, vegetables and other crops to market, easing the burden

on many subsistence-farming families in Ethiopia and Uganda.

suggested Amount: $150

1.

Most populargifts!

little chicks make a huge differenceWithin a few months of birth, chicks become

chickens and begin laying eggs. Eggs provide

protein and other vital nutrients for growing kids,

and extra eggs and chicks can generate income

for a small family business.

suggested Amount: $50

2.

pigs and Goats are like money in the bankWithin months, piglets grow to

weigh a couple hundred pounds

— bringing a big payoff at the

market. Goats are also a smart

investment, as they thrive in

extreme climates and arid

landscapes while fertilizing

the ground with their manure.

Goats also supply families with

nutritious milk every day!

suggested Amount: $100

4.

An egg a dayFor children in our partners' care in In-

dia, eggs are a valuable source of protein

and an essential part of their diet. Your

Gift of Hope can provide ten children

with one egg every day for one month!

suggested Amount: $30 per month for 10 children

3.

vocational training or education In countries around the world, Holt works to strengthen

families by giving them the tools and resources they need to

support their children. In some cases, Holt helps provide job

skills training or other education for parents struggling to

make ends meet — many of them single mothers. In India,

Holt equips many struggling

mothers with induction cookers

or sewing machines they can

use to run small businesses

selling meals and sewn items.

This Christmas, give the gift of

education or vocational training

and start-up resources to an at-

risk family overseas — helping

loving families stay together, and

children grow and thrive.

suggested Amount: $100

6.

medical procedures for childrenGive a gift that lasts a lifetime! Many children relinquished into Holt’s care have

disabilities or special medical needs. When children receive the medical attention they need, not

only are they more likely to thrive, they are also more likely to rejoin their birth families or join adoptive families.

Your gift of a cleft lip and palate repair or surgery for a congenital heart condition can change a child’s life forever.

suggested Amount: $300

8.

protect a child from deadly diseasesMany of the families Holt serves can’t

afford basic healthcare for their children

— care that can safeguard a child

against life-threatening illnesses. Your

gift will provide basic treatments, tests

and immunizations against preventable

childhood diseases.

suggested Amount: $75 per child

7.

foster care for a vulnerable child A more nurturing alternative to institutional care, foster

care provides the loving, personal attention children need to

grow and thrive. Holt strives to place as many orphaned and

abandoned children in foster care as possible while they wait

to rejoin their birth families or join loving adoptive families.

Typically, $85 — less than $3 a day — will cover one

month of care for one child.

suggested Amount:$85 per month per child

5.

sturdy shoes and bootsImagine walking to school

or gathering food and water

in a pair of homemade,

cloth shoes. Without sturdy

shoes, children’s feet are

defenseless against injury

or parasites. We wish you

could hear the squeals of

delight when children open

boxes of brand new shoes

and boots!

suggested Amount: $20 per child

10.

help furnish holt’s childcare centers with beds, cribs, bedding, linens and toysMany of Holt’s programs are always in need of more beds, cribs,

bedding, linens and toys for children. Your Gift of Hope will help us

provide a refuge for children in greatest need.

suggested Amount: $50 per child

11.

Many children enter Holt’s care in nothing but tattered rags, exposing

them to weather and disease. Your Gift of Hope will help provide climate-

appropriate clothing and other personal items for children in need.

suggested Amount: $40 per child

warm clothing for children in care

9.

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education for school-aged Girls in IndiaOver half of all girls in India don’t fi nish primary

school, most because they lack money for fees,

books, uniforms and supplies. Help one girl in

India achieve her goals — support one year of her

education!

suggested Amount: $100 per student/per year

14.

16

$100 per student/per year

education for orphans in chinaThe Nanning Educational Support project provides

food and educational assistance for orphans living

with their grandparents or other extended family in

southern China. Often, extended family can barely

afford to care for extra children in their home, much

less pay for their education. Your Gift of Hope can

help keep children in school, and with their families.

suggested Amount: $50 per student and family/per month

15.

school supplies for At-risk childrenIn many of the impoverished regions Holt serves, edu-

cation is a child’s best hope of escaping a life of poverty

and despair. But many families can’t afford the fees,

textbooks and supplies children need to attend school.

Your Gift of Hope will help a child receive an education,

and a brighter future!

suggested Amount: $25 per child

12.

daycare for vulnerable childrenMany low-income families can't pay

for daycare, which leaves children

at risk of malnutrition, neglect and

isolation. Your Gift of Hope will

provide a preschool-aged child with

the opportunity to attend a safe,

education-based daycare, complete

with nutritious snacks and meals.

With reliable childcare, parents are

able to seek and maintain regular

employment — creating stronger,

healthier families.

13.

suggested Amount: $100 per child

urgently needed Infant diapers, clothing and personal Items for new children in careMost children in Holt’s care own little more than the

potential within them. Your gift will deliver basic

necessities to one new child in care for one month

— necessities like brand new clothing, diapers,

blankets and other personal care items.

suggested Amount: $50 per child

16.

life-saving foodIn recent years, the cost of food worldwide has risen

sharply, putting many impoverished families at

greater risk of malnutrition. Your gift can provide

basic grains, vitamin and mineral-enriched biscuits,

infant formula, powdered milk and other nutritional

supplies, helping families and children in Holt’s

care to weather this growing food crisis.

suggested Amount: $35 per family

17.

shinshicho hospital constructionIn 2009, Holt upgraded a small clinic in Ethiopia, tripling the number of people

who receive treatment every year — most of them children. The clinic, however,

remained ill-equipped to provide more advanced treatment, such as surgery.

To meet the needs of this community, Holt committed to funding the construc-

tion of a full maternal-child hospital. Once complete, the Shinshicho Mother

and Child Health Center will provide acute, quality care for a region of 250,000

people, saving the lives of many who would never otherwise receive treatment.

suggested Amount: $1,500

18.

Popular

giftPopular

gift

support for single mothersIn the Philippines and Thailand, single women who be-

come pregnant often suffer from discrimination. Holt’s

partners help provide women with a safe and support-

ive environment to carry their babies to term. Your

Gift of Hope will provide expectant mothers with food,

shelter, counseling, medical assistance and vocational

training. By supporting new or expectant mothers, you

will help provide a bright and loving future for their

babies.

suggested Amount: $150 per mother and child

21.

help children with special needs in chinaMany orphaned, abandoned and

vulnerable children in China have

correctable or treatable physical

conditions. Children with special

needs often require more involved

care for them to reach their full

potential, including more frequent

physical exams, therapies and

treatments. Your Gift of Hope can

help a child with special needs

receive the specialized care he or

she needs to thrive!

suggested Amount: $150 per child

19.

special needs in chinaMany orphaned, abandoned and

vulnerable children in China have

correctable or treatable physical

conditions. Children with special

needs often require more involved

care for them to reach their full

potential, including more frequent

physical exams, therapies and

treatments. Your Gift of Hope can

help a child with special needs

receive the specialized care he or

20. special needs Adoption fund (snAf)Every Child Deserves a Family: Special

Needs Adoption Fund (SNAF). Hundreds

of children with special medical

conditions, older children and sibling

groups wait for a forever family. Today,

one in fi ve children in our care has a

special need. SNAF grants offset the

cost of adoption, and also help families

pay for any medical care the child may

need. This is often a critical factor in a

family's ability to adopt, meaning your

Gift of Hope will help give children the

loving, permanent families they need.

suggested Amount: $60

Where most needed

where most needed Immediate ImpactHelp where it's needed most!

Your Gift of Hope helps us

immediately address specifi c,

vital needs of children and

families — needs that might

otherwise go unmet.

Any amount makes a difference

22.

suggested Amount: $60

like an extended familyHolt's long-time partner in Thailand helps single mothers succeed for their children.

When you bring your first child home

— whether from the hospital or through

adoption — your whole world changes.

Life before baby quickly becomes a distant

memory. At once, your world is flooded

with a love you never knew was possible,

as well as fears you never knew existed.

Suddenly, you have so many questions

you never had to ask before. Is she get-

ting enough to eat? How will I know if he

needs something? What if I mess it all

up? The newness of it all can prove over-

whelming and exhausting.

Enter grandparents.

Always around to answer questions

or just offer a listening ear, your parents

know just how to help. They’ve been there,

after all.

And when imperfect circumstances

find a new parent raising a child on his or

her own, one can only hope that a helpful

grandparent, or equivalent support sys-

tem, will be there to support the needs of

the frightened parent and fragile baby.

But in countries like Thailand, where a

stigma against unwed mothers endures,

single mothers rarely receive support

from their families. Out of shame and

fear, many choose to relinquish their

babies into institutionalized care.

When *Prim, a university student in

Thailand, became pregnant at the age

of 20, the baby’s father abandoned her.

Terrified, Prim kept her pregnancy hidden

from her family for as long as she could.

When Prim gave birth to little *Bell, Prim’s

mother, *Ning, insisted that she relinquish

Bell to an orphanage to avoid scandal and

disgrace.

At the urging of a relative, Prim instead

looked into the range of services provided

by Holt’s longtime partner in Thailand,

Holt Sahathai Foundation (HSF).

Founded on the belief that every child

deserves to grow up in a permanent, lov-

ing family, HSF is a prominent provider

of child welfare services. Over the years,

HSF services have expanded to include

counseling, financial assistance, vocation-

al training, educational sponsorship and

income-generating projects.

To assist unwed mothers like Prim, HSF

also provides shelter, health and postnatal

care, as well as counseling to help them

cope with discrimination, and ultimately

make an informed decision about whether

to relinquish their child.

Through HSF intervention, Prim made

the decision to keep Bell, and Ning agreed

to assist in raising her grandchild after she

received counseling and training. “Ning

loves Bell very much,” says an HSF social

worker. HSF offered Prim financial help

to finish her education, and while Prim

attends school, Ning looks after her grand-

daughter. Both Ning and Prim also receive

financial management counseling.

Today, precious Bell thrives in her

mother and grandmother’s care. “She is a

lively and healthy girl,” says a social work-

er. Ning received the tools she needed to

assist her daughter in raising her grand-

child, and Prim no longer feels shame

about being a single parent.

To date, about 80 percent of the single

mothers who receive HSF support eventu-

ally decide to keep their baby.

When Prim felt hopeless and alone, HSF

came through for her, acting, in a way, like

a special surrogate family. Now, not only

does Prim have her mother’s support, she

also has the entire HSF community there

to encourage her. Like many new moms

before her, HSF helped Prim cope with

the dramatic, wonderful change that is

parenthood.

Ashli Keyser | Staff Writer

Give hope to single mothers in the Philippines and Thailand this Christmas! See item #21 in our Gifts of Hope catalog

Giftsof

HOPE

*names changed

from the field

TOP: When Prim attends school, her mother lovingly cares for Bell. CENTER: Today, Bell is a lively and healthy toddler. BOTTOM: Prim

deposits funds monthly into a savings account designated for Bell.

In November 2009, we brought our sons home from the

Philippines. At the time, Lucas and Eli were 8 and 9 years old and

had spent five years in an orphanage. Their adoptions were consid-

ered unique in that they are biological siblings and were older at

the time of their adoption. Our family make-up was also somewhat

different for a newly adopting family. At the time we adopted, we

had been married for 30 years and had daughters who were 24, 19

and 16 years old.

Starting into the process of bringing Lucas and Eli home, we

quickly foresaw that we’d need to be on a steep learning curve in

relation to a multitude of issues that we’d never experienced or

heard about.

We learned that the boys did not speak English but spoke a com-

bination of Tagalog, Visayan and Chavacano. We were told that

because of the mix of the three languages, people in the Philippines

had difficulty understanding their unique dialect. Clearly, we had

a communication obstacle to overcome. This was partly met when

the boys were transferred from their orphanage on the island of

Mindanao to foster care in Manila, where they stayed while waiting

to join our family. The boys spent four months in Manila, where

they attended a school that utilized both Tagalog and English.

While they began learning basic

English, we learned some basic

words and phrases in Tagalog.

Once we arrived in Manila and

for three months after arriving

home, we used a combination

of English, Tagalog and sign

language to communicate.

We mistakenly assumed

that Lucas and Eli would

retain their native language

because they would be able

to speak with one another.

This was not their experi-

ence. Within six weeks of

arriving home, they were

communicating primarily

in English and sign lan-

guage. When consulting

a professional in English

Language Learning, we

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from the familythe language of

While they began learning basic

English, we learned some basic

words and phrases in Tagalog.

Once we arrived in Manila and

for three months after arriving

home, we used a combination

of English, Tagalog and sign

retain their native language

loveOlder brothers Lucas and Eli faced many challenges coming home — from learning a new language, to blending with their new siblings, to fi nding their individual places within their new family. But no matter the diffi culties, they soon discover that in this family, they will forever belong.

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found out that this was normal. Inundated with a new language,

the boys were building pathways within their brains to accom-

modate English — leaving their native languages unused and,

eventually, lost. Listening to them speak while playing gave us

great insight into how they were making accommodations to their

new environment. They would play in English, and when they

weren’t able to come up with the correct word, they would ask the

other for the word using Tagalog. Eventually, the Tagalog phased

out completely. There was a period of time we called “the silent

period,” in which they no longer used Tagalog, but had not yet

developed enough English to fill the gap. This period lasted about

two weeks.

While working to communicate with Lucas and Eli, we also

faced the challenge of blending our family into a new definition.

Our three daughters had three varying concerns. Alison, then 24,

was concerned about the new dynamics within our family. While

my husband and I read adoption books and attended seminars,

we couldn’t locate available information to aid the siblings on the

home front.* Now at age 27, Alison is her brothers’ biggest support-

er, but will also attest to the need for more up-front information on

adoption dynamics for the sibling group, both new and established.

Added stress, financial strain and potential behaviors that could

impact the family were but a few of her areas of concern.

Rachel was then 19 and an out-of-state college freshman whose

top concern was how she would establish a sibling relationship

with Lucas and Eli while not living close to home. She put in a lot

of extra time driving home on long weekends, as well as calling and

using Skype to help all three of them connect. Currently, Rachel is

student teaching and living at home. She now gets to experience

her rambunctious teenage brothers on a daily basis.

Sydney, then 16, was our daughter most directly affected by the

arrival of two new brothers. She traveled to Manila when we went

to bring the boys home and is the only sister to have a glimpse of

their birth country and culture. Living through the daily struggles

with them has afforded her a deeper understanding of her brothers.

She observed their struggles with homework, their frustrations

with English, and the physical exhaustion that came with being

absorbed into a previously unknown environment and family.

During the first year after arriving home, Lucas and Eli would often

approach Sydney for answers to many issues, giving her further

insight into their concerns. They would often take their social cues

from Sydney. Even at the age of 20 and in college, Sydney is fre-

quently checked on and consulted by her brothers.

We knew going into the adoption that Lucas and Eli were a solid

unit and very dependent on one another for their daily needs. Lucas

was a people pleaser who would ingratiate himself with adults to

receive favorable treatment. Eli was not. He was described as inde-

pendent, uncooperative and difficult. How this would play a part in

building relationships would not come to be known until we were

home for several months.

After the initial honeymoon period, it became apparent that for

each boy to understand his need to become an individual, it would

take a concerted effort on our part to separate them with activi-

ties. This has allowed them to develop appropriate social skills

and find their individual places in our family, without resorting

to institutional coping methods or relying solely on one another

for their needs. Separate classrooms, sports teams and circles of

friends have helped the boys develop their individual identities.

Ultimately, they discovered that they did not have to enjoy the

same things and have begun exploring their own interests inde-

pendent of one another. In the process, Lucas discovered that we

were his family even when he wasn’t working overtime to be com-

pliant. Eli learned not to shut down and turn away when he would

misstep and have consequences. He, too, had to learn his family

would be there even when things weren’t always pleasant.

There have been many challenges and triumphs these past four

years. Lucas and Eli attend public school and have loved the inter-

action with peers from the first day they walked through the doors,

two weeks after coming home. Interacting with peers and partici-

pating in sports has helped them progress in learning language and

social skills at a much faster rate than we had initially anticipated.

Our entire family has grown in ways that we would never have

imagined. I asked Alison for her input for this article. “Mom,” she

said, “Honestly, I can’t imagine our lives without the boys.”

When you ask Lucas what adoption means to him, he maintains

the same response he had the first time we raised the subject. “It

means I have a family and they have me,” he says “I belong forever.”

Eli grins and responds, “It means you get to be my parents. You’re

lucky!” Did I mention he’s quite the comedian?

mike and lori pickle | Logan, Iowa

LEFT FROM TOP TO BOTTOM: Lucas and Eli while still in care, at ages 7 and 6. From left: Eli, 10, and Lucas, 11, in fall 2010 — a year after coming home. Lucas and Eli with their older sisters. From left: Sydney, 20, Alison, 27, and Rachel, 22. Bottom from left: Lucas, 13, Eli, 12. RIGHT: Participating in sports has helped the boys learn English and develop stronger social skills. From left: Lucas, 13, and Eli, 12.

*Introducing an adopted sibling into your family? Help prep your kids at home by viewing Holt's webinar series Sisters and Brothers in Adoption.

Go to: www.holtinternational.org/webinars/

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meeting

adoptees todayadoptees todayadoptees todayadoptees today

Before traveling on Holt’s heritage tour of Korea, adoptee Natalie Anderson initiated a search for her birth family. Five months later, she reunites with a family who has long awaited meeting her.

THIS STORY IS ABOUT A MEETING that I never planned, but

one that my birth family had been waiting for a long time.

Some assume that meeting your birth family is about get-

ting closure. For me, it was an opening not only to my past, but also

to a different and happier future.

In the summer of 1988, I took my first transcontinental flight to

meet the family that would lovingly name me “Natalie.” Growing

up, my parents were very open about my adoption and told me

everything that they knew. I didn’t feel an overwhelming need to

know my birth family or the circumstances of my adoption. The

reason for this, I have found to be two-fold. First, I was completely

satisfied, thankful and blessed to live in the family I was placed

with. The second reason I didn’t discover until my twenties, when

I realized I was avoiding potential pain that could come along with

asking questions about my birth family.

In high school, my mom began asking me if I wanted to go on a

Holt heritage tour of Korea. I kept coming up with excuses of why

we should wait until the next year. But after finishing graduate

school, I had no more excuses. I was at a point in my life where I

no longer wanted to avoid, and felt ready to find out more about

where I came from. So we planned to go on Holt’s 2012 heritage

tour. Little did I know that making this decision — especially at

that particular time — would forever change my life.

While filling out the birth family search paperwork, I can dis-

tinctly remember thinking that nothing would come of placing my

name on the adoptee registry. Then, six weeks prior to the tour, I

mybirthfamily

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received an email. Holt Korea had been in contact with my birth

mother and father, and I had a sister who lived in the States. They

all wanted to meet me. Wait… What?! My husband had to brace

me as I cried tears full of alien emotions. Questions that had never

come up reeled through my head, especially about my sister. Was

she a full sister? Was she older or younger? Was she adopted too

and that’s why she lived in the States? I had an intuition that she

was a full sister, and I was so anxious to meet her. All I could do

during the wait was try to process how I felt and pray that the

meeting would go well, bringing everyone peace and joy.

The day before the meeting, I visited the Holt Korea office to

look at my file. They gave me a folder with letters from my birth

mother, father and sister, each with pictures of their families.

Overwhelmed with emotion, I took them to my room and carefully

read through each letter and looked at the pictures. I saw my sister

for the first time and noticed that we looked so much alike. She

was an older full sister, just like I had thought. We had spent the

first two years of my life together. My sister had spent her child-

hood with our birth father, and high school and college years in

Japan with our birth mother. For the first time, I saw someone who

looked just like me. Also, I saw resemblances in my birth parents

and half-siblings. It was so emotional and miraculous that I would

actually meet these people.

The next morning, I was so nervous that I was pacing the hotel

before it was time to go to the meeting place. When I arrived, they

were all waiting in one room. I walked in by myself. Immediately,

they all gathered around me, crying and hugging me. It felt weirdly

like a reunion — like we had all been together at one time and now,

24 years later, we were together again. After the initial and very

emotional introduction, we sat down and my sister, who speaks

English, translated for us. So many things to say and ask. My par-

ents then came in and met everyone, and my birth mother and

father could not stop thanking them for taking care of me and

loving me. The next day, I got to meet my three half-brothers

and we all spent time getting to know each other.

It turned out that my sister and her family lived in San

Francisco, only six hours away from us in Los Angeles!

After making plans to go visit her and meet her children

and her husband, I discovered that my birth mother

already had plans to visit them in the U.S. for a

month. This gave me more time to get to know my

sister and birth mother, and to ask a lot of ques-

tions that I still had.

It was wonderful to meet my birth family and learn about the cir-

cumstances of my adoption, but this also opened a lot of other feel-

ings that I am still processing. No matter what, I know that God’s

hand was in all of this. There were too many ways that the trip and

timing worked out perfectly. It was my sister who re-established

my family’s contact information in the Korean adoption registry.

Just two months before I decided to go on the trip and search for

them, my sister also wrote a letter to me — a letter I could only

read if I decided to open my file in Korea. She was in the U.S. and

had recently moved to California just a few years after I had moved

there. Now, I see "Unni" — Korean for “older sister” — about once

every couple months. It feels like we have always been sisters. She

calls me “JiEun,” my Korean name, because that is what she has

always known me as and it feels right. I also keep in contact with

my birth mother and father through video chat.

I was concerned about my parents and brother and how they

felt about me meeting my birth family. However, I am now more

confident than ever that the people that love you and raise you

are indeed your true family. I expressed this to them when I came

home, and I feel like this experience has brought us closer together.

I am so thankful to Holt International and Holt Korea for helping to

make this meeting possible. Every adoptee has a unique story and I

am so blessed to have been a part of the amazing story that Harry

and Bertha Holt began over 60 years ago.

by natalie Anderson | Rogers, Arkansas

"My husband had to brace me as I cried tears full of alien emotions. Questions that had never come up reeled through my head, especially about my sister. Was she a full sister? Was she older or younger? Was she adopted too and that’s why she lived in the States?"

LEFT: Natalie with her birth mother and sister in San Francisco. FAR LEFT: Natalie with her birth family in Seoul, Korea. From left: Natalie’s birth

father, birth sister, birth mom with her son, and Natalie.

BELOW FROM LEFT: Natalie on the Holt heritage tour with her parents, Paul and Luann • Natalie and her family at her brother’s wedding last

December • Natalie with her birth sister in San Francisco

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Today I ran across a photo of my daughter, Anandi, taken before

she was my daughter. Dark curls framed her chocolate complexion

and sparkling eyes. Instantly, I felt transported back to the time

when we were preparing to welcome a new child into our family — a

three-year-old foundling from half a world away.

It’s commonplace to hear adoptive families say it was “love at first

sight” when they first saw a photo of the child they would adopt.

That wasn’t the case for me. I thought this tiny girl from southern

India was cute, to be sure, as did my husband. But a cute stranger,

one whom I definitely didn’t feel “in love” with. As with an arranged

marriage, love would have the opportunity to grow with the relation-

ship. But it wasn’t guaranteed…for her or for us.

The first time I met Anandi — whose name means “bringer of

joy” in Hindi — she was astride a white plastic horse that she had

wheeled to the doorway of the therapy room at Vathsalya Charitable

Trust (VCT), a care center in Bangalore and one of Holt’s legacy

partners in India. She was tinier than I had envisioned; 25 pounds

and not yet three feet tall at age three and a half, she seemed more

toddler than preschooler. She soon showed herself to be a charming

extravert, first posing for the camera, then commandeering it.

With Anandi were three of the women who had cared for and

loved her for the past two-and-a-half years. Her foster mother, sister

and aunt sat on the floor alongside me and my own foster mother, a

remarkable woman who had brought me into her home as a 16-year-

old and taught me a thing or two about loving the stranger in your

midst. Thirty-three years later, she was my guide and companion on

this adoption journey. It felt like coming full circle to be welcoming

an unknown child into my family, much as she had done for me so

many years before.

During the next ten days together in Bangalore and Delhi, Anandi

accepted both me and my foster mother, seemingly without qualms.

Except for nightly sleep disturbances that suggested separation trau-

ma, she seemed to take it completely for granted that she suddenly

had a new mother and grandmother. While it made for a shockingly

smooth transition, I felt uneasy at her equanimity. If losing the only

family she’s ever known doesn’t seem unsettling to her, how will

OUR family ever matter to her? Of all the things I worried and prayed

about during our adoption, experiencing overt rejection from our

adopted child topped my list. With her instant acceptance, it seemed

that God answered my prayers with utmost clarity. It never occurred

to me that I would adopt a child who accepted me too readily!

Anandi’s easy transition seemed, at times, too good to be true —

especially when she exhibited wildly enthusiastic affection for the

man in line behind me at the bank, and every other person at the

grocery store. She climbed into strangers’ laps at Starbucks, and

gestured to be picked up by every parent at dance class. I began to

feel like an “auntie,” as they referred to caretakers at VCT. Perhaps a

favorite auntie, but nevertheless interchangeable with the numerous

other “aunties” — and “uncles” — she encountered.

bringer of Joy

post adoption

While the Marran family teaches their daughter Anandi about appropriate boundaries, she teaches them about unbridled joy.

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ABOVE FROM LEFT: Anandi with her father, David, mother, Maire, and sister, Aubrey • Anandi in her favorite pink cowboy boots • A recent photo of Anandi playing in a fountain in downtown Lewiston •

Maire first meeting Anandi in India • Anandi with her sister, Aubrey

“Indiscriminate affection” is the term used to describe the behav-

ior of children who lovingly interact with others with no regard

to the level of relationship. It’s a survival mechanism that results

from not having developed a permanent attachment to a caregiver.

I knew that it was common in adopted children. I just didn’t know

what it was going to feel like to parent a child who exhibited it so

frequently. To quell my discomfort when she’d greet strangers a little

too eagerly, I’d gently pull her away and joke that she’s practicing to

be an ambassador when she grows up. I certainly wasn’t going to

complain about having the world’s friendliest child!

Child psychologists will often describe indiscriminate affection

as an attempt by the child to manipulate or control the emotional

responses of the adults around them. I dislike the negative conno-

tation of that terminology, however, as the child is most likely not

conscious of his or her behavior. According to The St. Petersburg-USA

Orphanage Research Team, a collaboration between the University

of Pittsburgh and St. Petersburg State University in Russia, “The early

experiences children have in orphanages often produce deficits in

executive functioning skills (things like planning, organization,

decision-making, inhibiting responses, etc). It's quite possible that

this superficial social ‘charm’ that children show is actually showing

their inability to inhibit social responses around strangers.”

This rang true: Anandi could seemingly not stop herself from

flinging herself into strangers’ arms!

Anandi has a language impairment that makes it difficult to

explain to her that giving hugs and climbing into laps are only for

family and friends. To teach appropriate boundaries, I have primar-

ily relied on physical intervention and redirection. However, when

she recently startled the pet store employee who was netting a

guppy from the tank for us by suddenly thrusting her hand deep into

his front pocket, I knew it was still very much a work in progress.

While Anandi still frequently goes right up to strangers, I am

relieved that she seems to be developing a real attachment to us as

her mama and papa. I feel a thrill course through me on the rare

occasions when she clings to my leg and peeks out at someone she’s

just met. And I was actually happy when, after a rare date night

out, our babysitter reported that she cried for Mama and Papa at

bedtime.

Since our arrival home on Thanksgiving Day two years ago,

Anandi has taught me that it’s the simple moments — or rather,

opportunities — that I need to be mindful of. While I teach her about

appropriate boundaries, she teaches me about unbridled joy and

enthusiasm. I make a conscious effort to do little things that nour-

ish the concept that she is my daughter and I am her mama: feeding

her by hand, playing “baby” and other reciprocal connecting games,

saying “Hold Mama’s hand” instead of just “Hold my hand.” And

although I can’t guarantee that our family will ever matter to her

in the way I hope it will, I can make an effort to make this moment

matter to her — and to me.

by maire marran | Lewiston, Idaho

“Anandi’s easy transition seemed, at times, too good to be true —

especially when she exhibited wildly enthusiastic affection for the

man in line behind me at the bank, and every other person at the

grocery store.”

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P o s t O f f i c e B o x 2 8 8 0E u g e n e , O R 9 7 4 0 2

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california

July 27-31, 2014, Camp Rockin U —Holt Adoptee Camp for adoptees 9-16

years old

Georgia

July 20-24, 2014, Calvin Center—Holt Adoptee Camp for adoptees 9-16

years old

nebraska

March 29, 2014, Omaha—Gala Dinner & Auction, Embassy Suites,

La Vista, 5:30 p.m.

new Jersey

August 3-8, 2014, Camp Louemma —Holt Adoptee Camp for adoptees 9-16

years old

oregon

April 12, 2014, Eugene —Gala Dinner & Auction, Valley River Inn, 5:30 p.m.

July 13-17, 2014, Camp Angelos — Holt Adoptee Camp for adoptees 9-16

years old

wisconsin

July 6-10, 2014, Camp Lakotah —Holt Adoptee Camp for adoptees 9-16

years old

Get the Info

For Holt Adoptee Camp and Family Picnic information, contact:

Pame Chow at pamec@holtinternational.org

For Events information, contact:

Shonna Wells at shonnaw@holtinternational.org

For Holt Heritage and Adult Adoptee Tour information, contact:

Sara Higgins for China tours:

sarahiggins@holtinternational.org

Paul Kim for Korea tours:

paulk@holtinternational.org

Meghan Nelson for adult adoptee tours:

meghann@holtinternational.org

For Vision Trip information, contact:

Sally Dougherty at sallyd@holtinernational.org

neighborhood

calendar

updatesP o s t O f f i c e B o x 2 8 8 0

updatesP o s t O f f i c e B o x 2 8 8 0

updatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdates2013 holt GraduatesIn the Sept/Oct 2013 issue of Holt International Magazine, we celebrated Holt adoptees who recently graduated from high school or college. We have three more updates to share with you.

Brenda Osler of Rochester, Minnesota recently graduated with a bachelor’s degree in management, with an empha-sis in human resources, from St. Cloud State University. During her time at St. Cloud State, she was involved in Delta Zeta and University Program Board. She plans to pursue a career in human resource recruiting. Brenda was adopted from Guatemala.

Earlier this year, Jacob Vedral graduated from high school in Egg Harbor City, New Jersey. In high school, Jacob participated in varsity baseball, achieved the rank of Eagle Scout at the age of 15, and graduated as a member of the National Honor Society. He plans to study business management at Rutgers University and would one day like to open a small business. Jacob was adopted from South Korea.

Michael Evanowski of Beachwood, New Jersey recently graduated from high school and plans to study math at Rutgers University. In high school, Michael was involved with marching band, concert band, jazz band, track, cross-country and Tri-M Music Honor Society. He was awarded the Louis Armstrong Jazz Award, TREA scholarship, and the Toms River High School South Indian Bandwagon scholarship. Michael was adopted from South Korea.

philippines Ambassador tripTwo years ago, Holt led our first ambassador trip to the Philippines to advo-cate for older children living in orphanage care. During a week full of fun activities, eight Holt ambassadors got to know 11 older children — their likes and dislikes, their challenges and strengths, and what makes them special. Once home, the ambassadors began advocating for the children’s adoptions.

This program has proven so successful in helping older children find families that over the past two years, Holt has led two more ambassador trips to the Philippines! The most recent group of ambassadors returned just last month, ready to find families for the boys and girls they met. To learn more about the program and this year’s special group of children, contact Jessica Palmer at jessicap@holtinternational.org or visit us online at www.holtinternational.org/philippines.

national Adoption monthWe at Holt love the month of November, when families, organizations and public figures rally together to support a cause dear to our hearts — finding families for orphaned and abandoned children. This National Adoption Month, help raise awareness about children who need families! Share stories of waiting children you read about on the Holt blog. Donate to the Special Needs Adoption Fund, featured on page 18. Encourage others to consider adoption by sharing your own story, or if you’re considering adoption — what a wonderful month to begin your journey!

Michael Evanowski of Beachwood, New Jersey recently graduated from high school and plans to study math at Rutgers University. In high school, Michael was involved with marching band, concert band, jazz band, track, cross-country and Tri-M Music Honor Society. He was awarded the Louis Armstrong Jazz Award, TREA scholarship, and the Toms River High School South Indian Bandwagon the Toms River High School South Indian Bandwagon scholarship. Michael was adopted from South Korea.

Earlier this year, Jacob Vedral graduated from high school in Egg Harbor City, New Jersey. In high school, Jacob participated in varsity baseball, achieved the rank of Eagle Scout at the age of 15, and graduated as a member of the National Honor Society. He plans to study business management at Rutgers University and would one day like to open a small business. Jacob was adopted from South Korea.

more updates to share with you.

Brenda Osler of Rochester, Minnesota recently graduated with a bachelor’s degree in management, with an empha-sis in human resources, from St. Cloud State University. During her time at St. Cloud State, she was involved in Delta Zeta and University Program Board. She plans to pursue a career in human resource recruiting. Brenda was adopted from Guatemala.

ShaunBorn: 04.07.2007, China

Gregarious and clever, Shaun entered foster care as a newborn. Developmentally, he is on track. Shaun enjoys bike riding and skateboarding. He helps his foster mother with household chores and enjoys bedtime stories. He likes to sing children’s songs and tell stories. Shaun is affectionate to his fos-ter mother and is well liked by his teacher and kindergarten classmates. Shaun needs a family prepared for an older child adop-tion, with access to the resources he may need as he continues to grow and thrive.

ScottBorn: 08.05.2000, S.E. Asia

Scott is described as very smart, kind, generous, observant and creative. He entered a child care center in 2002, and then a foster home in 2003. Scott is in good health and his development is on target. He enjoys running, climbing, playing soc-cer, riding his bicycle and drawing cartoon characters. Scott is doing well in the sev-enth grade. He reads well, writes short sto-ries and knows some English words. Scott enjoys playing folk music with his school band and would love to be an animator or music composer one day. He also gets along well with friends. He has received counsel-ing on intercountry adoption and he says he would love to have a family adopt him. He needs a family who understands the behav-ioral impact of grief and loss. Experience parenting past his age and with adoption is also preferred. *scott has an $8,000 special blessings grant from holt for this adoption and holt fees have also been reduced.

AndersonBorn: 10.23.2008, Africa Anderson is a handsome little boy who likes to play outdoor games and sports. Although Anderson tested positive for Hepatitis B, he is in otherwise good physi-cal and mental health. Anderson is a very happy, healthy and active boy. He is highly sociable. He has a good sense of humor and strong imagination. He has a good relation-ship with his caretakers and shows concern for small children. Anderson is in need of a family who understands the impact of grief and loss on development, emotional regula-tion, transition and academic learning. An ideal family will have access to any medical care he may need and should also have a plan on how to communicate effectively with Anderson during the transition.

holtinternational.org/blog/2013/09/a-typical-5-year-old-in-every-way-but-one-anderson-needs-a-family/

Andy Born: 02.28.2012, N.E. Asia

Andy is a sweet little boy who was born premature at 36 weeks. He has been receiv-ing physical therapy to help him overcome some developmental delays. He is able to pull himself to a stand and walk holding onto furniture. He is also able to say six words, wave bye-bye, drink from a cup and scribble with a crayon. His foster parents report that he is a very popular child, and all of the neighbors enjoy spending time with him and holding him. He has met with an endocrinologist, and has had a few tests to try and determine the cause of his short stature and poor weight gain. Andy is in need of a family who is open to some unknowns and can provide him with any medical care or therapies that he may need.

waiting childrenthese and other children need

adoptive families

Andy

Anderson

then a foster home in 2003. Scott is in good health and his development is on target. He enjoys running, climbing, playing soc-cer, riding his bicycle and drawing cartoon characters. Scott is doing well in the sev-enth grade. He reads well, writes short sto-ries and knows some English words. Scott enjoys playing folk music with his school

Scott

Shaun

For more information on adopting these and other waiting children, contact Erin Anderson at erina@holtinternational.orgw w w.holtinternational.org/waiting-child/photolisting

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For more information: holtinternational.org/korea

888-355-HOLT

adopt from

• Mostly boys, ages 18-24 months at

placement who have some minor,

correctable health issues

• All children live in foster or family-like

care

KoreaMany children in Korea

holt urgently needs families for…

are waiting, right now,

for a LOVING family.