The Salem NewsWednesday, January 28, 2015

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FINAL-1 Mon, Jan 26, 2015 1:10:42 PM

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FINAL-1 Mon, Jan 26, 2015 1:10:48 PM

Dear Mr. Dad: It seems like every meal in my house is a bat-tle. I try to make healthy, tasty foods and my kids do nothing but complain about it. It seems like all they want to eat is white rice and plain pasta. Why won’t they eat anything else, and what can I do to get them to expand their preferences?

A: Ah, yes, the white food group. I remember it well. Besides rice and pasta, my two oldest kids were flexible enough to include French fries (or, sometimes, a baked potato with sour cream), cheese pizza, fish sticks, and salt. Lots of salt. For a while, I was worried that their limited diet would stunt their growth, but they’re both 5-feet-7 and incredibly healthy. When I think about it, they did eat non-white

foods, too: Peas and carrots were okay (as long as they weren’t touching on the plate), tomatoes (cleverly disguised as pasta sauce), vitamins (in milk), lots of fruit, and even some protein (often fish sticks or chicken nuggets). I’m sure your chil-dren’s culinary repertoire is broader than you think. That said, I know I could have done a better job.

I recently interviewed Jennifer Tyler Lee, author of a new cookbook called “The 52 New Foods Challenge,” who, like most parents, struggled with the same issues you brought up. She came up with an approach that I wish I would have dis-covered years ago. The goal is to stop asking “Why won’t they eat their vegetables?” to “Why WILL they eat their vegetables?” The answer is, “If you make it fun.”

I know, I know, we don’t want our kids to play with

their food. But this is dif-ferent. As Jennifer told me, “It’s not about the broccoli.” Instead, it’s about the colors (most nutritionists will tell you that the more colorful the foods you eat, the bet-ter). Her first step was to start giving her kids points for eating colors — and extra points for trying new foods — and the kids could cash in their points at the end of the week for various rewards. We did a review of Jennifer’s game, Crunch a Color, at www.parentsatplay.com.

The next step was to stop cooking for her kids and start cooking with them. In other words, get them involved in the process. Even little kids can tear kale in to small pieces or break the stems off of green beans. As they get older and more coordinated, they can cut fruits and veggies into slices, sprinkle season-ings, and even use the oven or stove — with plenty of supervision, of course.

Then came the big chal-lenge: Try one new food every week for a year. Now

don’t worry, “new” doesn’t necessarily mean “unfa-miliar,” “weird,” or “never seen or tasted before.” Preparing an old food in a new way counts. For exam-ple, steamed zucchini is great, and so are zucchini muffins. And cantaloupe chunks are a great dessert, but what about cold can-taloupe soup to start the meal?

Put all the pieces together and you end up with Jenni-fer’s pretty simple healthy-meal formula: 3 colors + 1 protein + 1 healthy grain + 1 non-sugary liquid = a winning plate. Make things easier for yourself and the kids by keeping lots of color-ful snacks around (and no, Lucky Charms and Cheetos don’t count). Finally, don’t torture yourself if you and the kids occasionally have an all-white-food-group meal. Instead, shoot for a balanced week. For a

lot more shopping, meal-planning, and cooking sug-gestions, pick up Jennifer’s new book.

¢ ¢ ¢(Read Armin Brott’s blog

at www.DadSoup.com, follow him on Twitter, @mrdad, or send email to armin@mrdad.com.) follow him on Twitter, @mrdad, or send email to armin@mrdad.com.)

Color-fast way to healthy eatingAsk Mr. Dad

Armin Brott 

Even little kids can tear kale in to small pieces or break the stems off of green beans. As they get older and more coordinated, they can cut fruits and veggies into slices, sprinkle seasonings, and even use the oven or stove — with plenty of supervision, of course.

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FINAL-1 Mon, Jan 26, 2015 1:10:49 PM

WASHINGTON — Tired of hearing people grouse about a tuned-out, apathetic younger generation?

Well, here’s a comeback: Today’s young Americans are more serious about giv-ing back than their parents were.

In fact, those under age 30 now are more likely to say citizens have a “very important obligation” to vol-unteer, an Associated Press-GfK poll inds.

The embrace of volun-teering is striking because young people’s commitment to other civic duties — such as voting, serving on a jury and staying informed — has dropped sharply from their parents’ generation and is lower than that of Ameri-cans overall.

Among six civic activities in the AP-GfK poll, volun-teering is the only one that adults under 30 rated as highly as older people did.

“I want to make my city where I live a better place,” Morgan Gress, 24, of Wash-ington said after sorting and hanging donated clothes with co-workers who chose to volunteer in lieu of an ofice holiday party. After you volunteer, she said, “You never walk away feel-ing you didn’t have a great time, or help someone out, or learn something new.”

Today’s young adults grew up amid nudges from a volunteering infrastructure that has grown exponen-tially since their parents’ day, when the message typically came through churches or scouting.

Gress doesn’t ind it unusual that her employer, a hub for tech startups called 1776, encouraged workers to sort clothes at Bread for the City during ofice hours. Most of her friends work at companies with some sort of volunteer program, she says. Community service was required at her private high school in Buffalo,

New York, like many other schools across the country. Volunteer opportunities were plentiful as a student at American University.

In the decades since President George H.W. Bush championed America’s volunteer groups as “a thou-sand points of light” at his 1989 inaugural, the number of nonproits has skyrock-eted. The Martin Luther King Jr. holiday and Sept. 11 have become days of service. Individuals launch community projects through social media, instead of hanging posters and making phone calls.

Twenty percent of adults under 30 volunteered in 2013, up from 14 percent in 1989, according to census data analyzed by the Corpo-ration for National and Com-munity Service. It seems likely that the Millennials’ volunteering rate will climb higher, because past genera-tions have peaked in their 30s and 40s, when many parents give their time to schools, youth groups or community improvements.

“We’re on the crux of something big, because these Millennials are going to take this spirit of giving and wanting to change com-munities and they’re going to become parents soon,” said Wendy Spencer, CEO of the Corporation for National and Community Service. “I am very encouraged by what we’re seeing.”

The vast majority of Americans believe citizen-ship comes with an array of responsibilities. But the strength of that conviction has weakened since the General Social Survey asked about obligations of citizen-ship in 1984.

Seventy-seven percent say reporting a crime you witness is very important, down from 90 percent three decades ago in the survey conducted by NORC at the University of Chicago. Three-quarters call voting in elections very important, about the same as in the

1984 survey, though only about 36 percent of eli-gible voters cast ballots in November’s midterms.

The biggest decline among the six obliga-tions tested? Keeping fully informed about news and

public issues. A majority — 56 percent — of Americans considered that very impor-tant in 1984; now only 37

percent think so.Young adults are even

less interested in keeping up. Despite unprecedented

Young generation no slouches at volunteeringBy Connie Cass

 ASSOCIATED PRESS

Associated Press

Patrick McAnaney, from the company 1776, as he volunteers in the clothing room with a group of his coworkers at Bread for the City in Washington.

Morgan Gress, from the company 1776, as she volunteers in clothing room with a group of her coworkers at Bread for the City in Washington. Tired of hearing people grouse about a tuned-out, apathetic younger generation? Well, here’s a comeback: Today’s young Americans are serious when it comes to volunteering. In fact, measured against their parents as young adults back in the 1980s, those under 30 today are more likely to say that citizens have a “very important obligation” to give their time, an Associated Press-GfK poll finds.

Associated Press

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FINAL-1 Mon, Jan 26, 2015 1:10:50 PM

access to news and information, 28 per-cent feel no obligation to stay informed.

A similar number say there’s no obli-gation to volunteer, but the trends are moving in opposite directions.

The share who call volunteering very important has climbed 10 percentage points, while staying informed dropped 13 points. The importance of voting, jury duty, reporting a crime and speak-ing English as obligations of citizenship also declined among young adults.

Peter Levine, associate dean for research at Tufts University’s college of citizenship, said while the nation was building up its institutional support for volunteering, many of the organizations that promote political and civic involve-ment, including labor unions, churches and newspapers, were shrinking.

Could experience gained while vol-unteering lead more young people to other civic roles, such as banding together to solve local problems, follow-ing national issues or joining political parties?

There are some positive signs.Kaleigh Gordon, a junior at the Uni-

versity of Southern Mississippi, has a history of volunteering but says she hasn’t followed politics much because “there’s so much negativity.” Now, a trip to Washington to help care for homeless people has her thinking about how to solve some of their underlying

problems, such as untreated mental illness.

“This is different from anything I’ve done before. It’s been very shocking,” Gordon, 21, said before serving lunch at So Others Might Eat. “The government should do more — we need more funds — and people in the community need to be stepping up to do more, too.”

But Rutgers University Professor Cliff Zukin, who studies civic engage-ment, sees little prospect that volun-teering will lead to a strong return to political participation and other civic virtues that were in decline well before today’s young adults came of age.

“They’re starting at a very, very low point,” he said. “And each generation seems to have peaked at less than the previous generation.”

The AP-GfK Poll of 1,044 adults was conducted online July 24-28, 2014, using a sample drawn from GfK’s probabil-ity-based KnowledgePanel, which is designed to be representative of the U.S. population. The margin of sam-pling error for all respondents is plus or minus 3.4 percentage points.

Respondents were irst selected randomly using phone or mail survey methods and later interviewed online. People selected for KnowledgePanel who didn’t otherwise have access to the Internet were provided access at no cost to them.

Associated Press

Patrick McAnaney, center, and Morgan Gress, right, from the company 1776, as they volunteer in the clothing room at Bread for the City with a group of their coworkers in Washington.

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FINAL-1 Mon, Jan 26, 2015 1:10:57 PM

NEW YORK — Lori Oster-berg and her husband are lifelong Denver folk, but they got restless and intended to relocate for adventure’s sake once their only child left home for college.

Well, long story short, they did that. Sort of.

Rather than following the sun down to Mexico, they followed their daughter to Portland, Oregon, where she is a sophomore. While still taking long weekends and other trips to Canada and California, the couple bought an apartment near campus that all three share.

“We’re calling it our gap year. We’re here for now, with the possibility of extending throughout her college career,” Osterberg said. “We’re taking it one year at a time.”

Sometimes scoffed at as

the ultimate in helicopter parenting, Osterberg and others see only beneits in relocating or buying a second home to be close to their college kids.

Osterberg feels lucky. She and her husband work mainly online rather than grind it out 9-to-5 the old-fashioned way to pay college bills.

For Dianne Sikel in Phoe-nix, it’s all about football for her two boys, ages 18 and 15. She plans to rearrange her schedule as an auction-eer, part-time real estate agent and actress when her oldest starts college next year near Anaheim, Califor-nia, so she can attend the games of both.

That, she said, means she’ll leave Phoenix irst thing Saturday mornings during football season for a rental home near the California campus, after she watches her youngest play

in Phoenix on Fridays. Her youngest will stay with his father when she’s away.

“These are moments that will be gone forever. I refuse to miss them,” Sikel said. “I’ve got to be near my children.”

Coldwell Banker, the real estate irm, irst noticed parents making such moves in 2008 while compiling its annual College Home Price Comparison Index that ranked average home prices in more than 300 college towns. David Siroty, a com-pany spokesman, said the index has not been done in several years but anecdotally agents continue to see it pop up in home rentals and sales around the country near campuses.

Regina Santore, a Cold-well agent in Knoxville, the East Tennessee home of the University of Tennessee, relo-cated a couple last summer from a town about 380 miles

away on the western side of the state so their freshman could live with them.

“They felt very strongly they did not want their daughter living on campus. They felt like she would have a better study environment if she were with them. She didn’t seem to have any prob-lem with it,” Santore said.

The father, a computer programmer, and mother, a budding restaurateur, settled on a 1,600-square-foot ranch-style house near campus.

“I can understand it, frankly, these days,” said Santore, who has a 4-year-old son.

“But I don’t know if he’s going to appreciate me fol-lowing him to college,” she laughed.

Santore, originally from a small town in upstate New York, said a neighbor there relocated to New York City recently to live with her daughter during law school.

“She basically made her daughter her priority,” she said.

More common in Knoxville, Santore said, are parents buying weekend condos so they don’t have to ight for hotel rooms when attend-ing football games at UT’s 100,000-plus-seat stadium. The school has about 21,000 undergraduates.

A surprising twist for Ros-lyn Levy, a Coldwell agent in Gainesville, Florida, was parents making the move there irst, followed by their kids transferring later to the nearly 50,000-student Uni-versity of Florida or Santa Fe College, a feeder.

“So it actually works both ways,” she said.

“We do see parents mov-ing here or buying a second house here, either because they have a child in school here or because they went to school here themselves,” Levy said. “We see people

buying homes that are larger and more expensive than one would expect for a col-lege student because they want to use the home when they come here to visit.”

Some, she said, keep the house once the kids move on.

Sheila Baker Gujral in Maplewood, New Jersey, is a Georgetown alum who inter-views prospective freshmen for the Washington, D.C., school. She’s been volunteer-ing to do that for 10 or 15 years and only last summer ran across such relocations.

“I was talking to this girl and asked how her parents were doing about her leav-ing,” Baker Gujral said. “She said, ‘They don’t mind living on the East Coast or the West Coast, so I’m applying to those places.’ I was, like, ‘Do you mean to tell me they’re going to move wherever you go to school’ and she said yeah. She didn’t look entirely thrilled about it.”

Helicoptering? Parents go with kids to college Leanne iTaLie 

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FINAL-1 Mon, Jan 26, 2015 1:11:01 PM

Q: How do you stop tantrums in a 3-year-old? My daughter never went through the “terrible twos,” but began throwing wild tantrums shortly after her third birthday. This coincided with the birth of a sibling, a boy, but she’s very affectionate and help-ful toward him, so I don’t know if there’s any connection. I’ve tried everything I can think of to prevent and stop the tantrums — things I’ve seen recommended in vari-ous places — but nothing has worked. She throws one whenever she doesn’t get her way. Help!

A: Tantrums are fairly common in toddlers and even if properly han-dled can persist well into the fourth year of life. Furthermore, they occur with or without the birth of new siblings, so one can never know whether or not your second child was the trigger. In your case, given that your daughter shows no jeal-ousy otherwise, I rather doubt that her younger brother has anything to do with her meltdowns.

In my estimation and experience, the standard advice given concerning

tantrums is not generally helpful. One website offers six different methods, including what they call the Yuk It Up method, in which the parent begins doing silly things like dancing around and singing loudly. Yes indeed, that may be enough of a distraction to stop a particular tantrum, but it will not solve the problem. The same website also lists whispering, ignoring, repeating the rule over and over again (e.g. “You must hold my hand in a parking lot, you must hold my hand in a parking lot….”), trying to engage the child in a game and picking him up and hold-ing him close. The question becomes, which of the six recommended meth-ods should a parent use at any given time? And how long does one try a method before going to another?

To be brutally honest, hav-ing raised two kids who threw tantrums as toddlers and having counseled many, many parents of tantrum-tossers, I give these six recommendations a rating of “fairly worthless.”

When my daughter Amy was three, she began throwing tantrums. They began as protests over green things on

her plate and quickly expanded from there to include anything and every-thing she didn’t like. After floundering around for several weeks, my wife and I identified the downstairs half-bath-room (aka powder room) as Amy’s “tantrum place” and told her that she could only throw tantrums there.

“These tantrums you’re having,” I said to her, “are very special things, Amy, so you need a special place in which to have them. We’ve decided that this bathroom is going to be that special place. See? If you scream so loud that you have to use the potty, there’s one right here! And there’s a rug you can roll around on! And you can even get a drink of water!”

From that point on, whenever she launched into a fit, we simply directed her (or took her) to the bathroom. “Come out when you’re done!” we’d say, closing the door. Immediately, the tantrum would stop. Then, a minute or so later, the door would open and Amy would appear, scowling. To be honest, it was hard to keep from laughing.

Her tantrums stopped in no time at all. On to back-talk! It never ends, does it?

Closing the door on toddler tantrums Living with Children

John Rosemond

Q: My son, age 13, cannot remem-ber to take care of his personal hygiene. If we didn’t remind him, he would never brush his teeth. He forgets to put on deodorant. Every time he leaves the bathroom, we have to make him go back to wash his hands. We feel like we are constantly nagging him. How do we change this behavior?

A: “If you’re nagging, and you hear yourself nagging, it’s not working,” says Anastasia Gavalas, author of the self-published “Wing It: 6 Simple Steps to Succeed as a Modern Day Parent.” She’s a mom of five, ages 8 to 16.

Consider giving this a shot: Let him suffer the natural con-sequences, she says. “Let go of the immediate control,” Gava-las suggests. You’ve already

spoken to him repeatedly. He’s 13. He isn’t forgetting — he’s making a choice.

“Very often life has an interesting way of giving us organic, natural responses,” Gavalas says. In the case of personal hygiene, the consequences don’t pose an imminent danger, so letting him experience them may change his behavior, she says. “If a 13-year-old boy smells, chances are there’s going to be another kid in school who is going to say something.” If his breath is revolting, they’ll walk away or tease him, she says.

Some consequences can be imposed by you. For instance, tell him he can choose not to wash his hands after using the bathroom, but he won’t be allowed to touch anything in the kitchen until he washes up.

Son resisting personal hygiene

Parental Guidance

Beth Whitehouse 

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FINAL-1 Mon, Jan 26, 2015 1:11:03 PM

Who are the happier campers in a workplace setting: the employees who (a) obey the rules, follow the procedures and voice any complaints respectfully, such that the entire workplace is not disrupted, or (b) dis-obey the rules at every possible opportunity, deliberately fail to follow procedures and disrupt the workplace with fre-quent and often subver-sive complaints?

You answered (a) of course. And so it is with children. The happiest kids, so inds the best research (if interested, Google Diana Baumrind and Robert Larzelere), are those who obey

parents and teachers, do what they are expected to do without lots of management and voice complaints and disagree-ments respectfully.

Therefore, because happiness is a child’s right (because, for one, a child cannot learn the beneits of pursu-ing it unless he has irst experienced it), teaching obedience and respect is a fundamental paren-tal responsibility — the third, in fact, which comes after securing a child’s physical well-being and demonstrating unconditional love.

The question then becomes: How does a parent go about teaching obedience and respect? The answer is in four parts.

First, the parent acts like she knows what she is doing and knows that what she is doing is correct. This means, for example, that the parent does not need to consult with a 5-year-old to determine what foods are going to be on the child’s dinner plate. The parent is, in a word, decisive. She knows it is more important, gener-ally, to be decisive than to always make the most perfectly correct decision (if there is even such a

thing).Second, the parent

acts like she knows why she is doing what she is doing. She is guided by overarching principles, not whim or emotion. Therefore, she is con-sistent from decision to decision. The parent is, in a word, purposeful. Her purpose is to assist the child toward standing on his own two feet, to raise a compassionate and responsible citizen.

Third, the parent acts like she knows what she

expects of the child, what she wants the child to do at any given point in time. In giving instructions, for example, she does not bend forward, grab her knees, and speak to the child in a beseech-ing tone of voice. She does not offer reward for obedience or threaten punishment for disobedi-ence. She simply tells, using as few words as possible, and never, ever punctuates an instruction with a question mark. She communicates to the child that he will do what she tells him to do not because of reward or threat but simply because she tells. The parent, in ive words, comes straight to the point.

Fourth, the parent acts like she knows the child

is going to obey. After giving an instruction, she leaves the area (if at all possible). She does not stand there, waiting for obedience, because that is the equivalent of saying, “I don’t think you’re going to do what I just told you to do.” And that is deinitely going to provoke push-back. The parent, in three words, communicates positive expectations.

Those four attributes deine the effective delivery of authority regardless of setting. They deine effective leadership, and effective parenting is a relatively simple matter of provid-ing a child with equal measures of love and leadership.

How simple is that?

4 rules for teaching obedience, responsibilityBy John Rosemond

LIVING WITH CHILDRENBecause happiness is a child’s right (because, for one, a child cannot learn the benefits of pursuing it unless he has first experienced

it), teaching obedience and respect is a fundamental parental responsibility.

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FINAL-1 Mon, Jan 26, 2015 1:11:04 PM

Like it or not, kids are fascinated by things that shoot. And while we under-stand that some parents are completely against anything that looks remotely like a weapon, shooting toys aren’t going away anytime soon. In our view, there’s nothing inherently wrong with ire-arms (admittedly, my being a Marine Corps vet may influence that philosophy). So the solution is to learn to use them safely. This week we take a look at two amaz-ing blasters and one other toy that stretches the defini-tion of “shoot” a little.

BOOMco Rapid Madness (Mattel)

Rapid Madness gives blaster fans two ways to shoot: one dart at a time or 20 in about 5 seconds. Either way, the foam darts can fly up to 50 feet. One of the drawbacks with other dart-shooting blasters is that you never know for sure whether you’ve hit your tar-get. Not so with Rapid Mad-ness. The darts have “Smart Stick” tips that cling to the included target, as well as to some glossy surfaces, which makes competitive shooting and scoring easy. Darts also stick to the pop-up shield that’s part of the blaster so you can seize your oppo-nent’s ammo. Comes with 30 darts, a 20-dart clip, and the target. We generally don’t talk about packaging in our reviews, but the “certified frustration-proof packaging” means you can be up and shooting within minutes instead of running around trying to find a scissors or wire cutter. Ages 6 and up. $25-$40. http://shop.mattel.com

Xploderz Mayhem Firestorm series (Maya Group)

We first saw Xploderz at Toy Fair a few years ago and were impressed with the unique ammo, which starts

off as tiny pellets (that can’t be fired) and turns into gel-like marbles (that can be fired) when soaked in water. We also loved that they’re completely non-toxic, don’t stain, require virtually no clean-up, and really and truly don’t hurt. We men-tion that last bit just in case someone gets hit — we highly recommend that you have your children fire at non-human (or animal) targets, or, if they do fire at other people, they aim no higher than their target’s waist). Mayhem comes with 2,000 rounds and 250-round clip. So while your oppo-nents are busy trying to find their darts under the couch and fumbling around try-ing to re-load them, you can keep blasting away (at two rounds per second, you’ve got more than two minutes of non-stop firepower). Plus, with an accuracy range of 50 to 80 feet, you’ll be invin-cible. Ages 8 and up. About $18. http://xploderz.com

Smart Shots Sports Center (Vtech)

OK, this one isn’t a weapon, but it still involves shooting. The target,

however, is either a basket-ball hoop or a soccer net. When your toddler drives in for a layup or shoots a half-court jumper, Sports Center’s LED screen keeps score. And when he or she finds the back of the net, Sports Center applauds, cheers, and shows encouraging anima-tions. It’s a fun, energetic way to expose young kids to both sports. If your little one gets tired of shooting and kicking and wants to relax by brushing up on fine motor skills, there are plenty of buttons and other things to play with that introduce shapes and num-bers and make all sorts of fun sounds. Comes with a small basketball, soccer ball, net, and hoop. All you need is batteries, which aren’t included. Ages 12-36 months. About $28. http://www.vtechkids.com

¢ ¢ ¢Armin and Samantha are

the authors of the popular parenting blogs: http://www.mrdad.com and http://www.havesippywilltravel.com. For more reviews of toys and games, visit http://www.parentsatplay.com/

and http://www.havesippy-willtravel.com.

Starting off the year with a bangBy aRmin BRoTT and

samanTha Feuss PARENTS @ PLAY

Courtesy photos

Xploderz Mayhem: With 2,000 rounds of non-mess-making ammo, you’ll be invincible in the blaster wars.

Rapid Madness: Soft-tipped darts stick to the target so you know what you’ve actually hit.

The Smart Shots Sports Center is a fun, energetic way to introduce kids to soccer and basketball.

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HACKENSACK, N.J. — When he was 3 years old, Mohammad Abdelha-mid told his mother that he was going to be a basketball player and — like the pros — buy a mansion.

His mother, Azza Abdelziz, took his ambitions to heart and raised him as a well-rounded athlete. He now plays three sports at Fort Lee High School — soccer, basketball and baseball — as well as participating in a pri-vate soccer club that travels all over the region.

Abdelziz, who laughed off the promise of a mansion, was full of encouragement

on a recent Sunday as she watched him take on Para-mus Catholic High School in an area basketball tourna-ment hosted at Fort Lee. Also in attendance were rel-atives, friends and recruiters taking in the action as the warm bodies on the court pushed up the temperature in the gym.

But Abdelziz deserved as much applause from her son as she was heaping on him.

The sacriices many par-ents in the crowd have made on behalf of their children’s athletic careers are as remarkable for their size as for their duration. Abdelziz, for example, said that over the past 10 years, she has hosted relatives at her house

less and less due to her son’s game and practice schedule. She has also stuck with her job as a school bus driver because the hours are con-ducive to high school sports.

Jocelyn Picache, the mother of another Fort Lee player, said basketball is not even the most demand-ing of youth sports. She estimated that her family spent upwards of $100,000 transporting her eldest daughter around the coun-try for weekly gymnastics competitions when she was between the ages of 6 and 13. Her daughter, who was a prospect for the U.S. Olym-pic team, had to give up the sport after a serious back injury.

“We could have made a down payment on a house,” Picache said.

But in talking about such decisions, parents were full of pride, not bitterness.

Howard Breindel, the father of a player for Tenaly High School, said that mak-ing sacriices for your chil-dren is what parenting is all about.

“You have kids so you can support them through these years,” he said, “because after that they’re gone.”

Plus, he said, by participat-ing in sports young athletes learn essential life lessons, like discipline, teamwork, respect, sportsmanship and focus. It was a point made over and over by parents watching the tournament: These games will help these boys succeed in the class-room and in life.

Then there is the allure of playing ball in college. Kevin Goodson, whose son plays for Jersey City’s Henry Snyder High School, said that playing basketball in college was a dream for everyone on his son’s team.

But Breindel speculated that by the time kids get to high school and see a wider pool of talent, they become more realistic about their chances of playing at the next level. Which is ine,

he said, because there is so much else to do. His son, for example, has been accepted into college to write screenplays.

According to 2013 esti-mates from the NCAA, a mere 3.3 percent of high school men’s basketball players compete at the col-lege level, as opposed to 5.7 percent for soccer, 6.5 per-cent for football, 6.8 percent for baseball and 3.7 percent for women’s basketball.

Only 0.03 percent of high school men’s basketball players make it pro.

While the high school sports last — together with the attendant sacriices — Abdelziz and Picache are going to make the most of

the time. The two women live on different loors in the same apartment complex, but see each other most often at their sons’ sporting events.

“All these kids are like my kids,” Abdelziz said as she cheered alongside Picache. She said she especially enjoyed road trips when all the players and family members go out to dinner together and stay at the same hotel.

For Picache, attending the games helps to relieve her stress after a long day of work.

“Once I go to the game, it takes the pressure off,” she said. “I forget about everything.”

For parents, sacrifices worth it for children’s athletic careers

By niChoLas PugLiese

THE RECORD 

Azza Abdelziz, left on bleachers, and Jocelyn Picache cheer for their sons on the Fort Lee basketball team in Fort Lee, N.J.

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Kids and Salem residents are always free!Visit pem.org/calendar for more information.

PEM+FAMILIES=FUNThere’s always something to do atthe Peabody Essex Museum!

Story TrailsSunday, February 82–3 p m,meet at information deskFor ages 5 to 8 with an adultJoin staf from the Art & NatureCenter to explore PEM’s galleriesthrough artwork and stories.We’ll read Dare the Wind andthen experiment with saltwatercolor painting.

School Vacation WeekMonday–Friday | February 16–2010 am–4 pm daily

Explore the unexplored, createunique art experiences and take partin secret activities!

Wear your pajamas to PEM!Wednesday, Februrary 1810:30–11:30 am

Join us for a special PEM Pals with theauthor and illustrator of Pajamas of MyDreams. Consider bringing a pair of newchildren’s pajamas to donate toCradles to Crayons.

Lunar New YearSaturday, February 2810 am–4 pmCelebrate the Year of the Goat withlion and ribbon dances, dulcimermusic, art activities and more.

These programs included with museum admission and madepossible by the Lowell Institute and American Dental Partners.

161 Essex St. | Salem, MA | 978-745-9500 | pem.org

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