Well Women Newsletter Issue 8 Term 3, 2010

Helping You and your family cope with Antenatal and Postnatal Distress

The Stigma of Mental Illness 1

PORSE In-Home Childcare and Educator Training – supporting South Auckland mothers

2

Time Out 3

Useful Contacts 3

Our supporters 4

Who Are Well Women? 4

Inside this issue:

The Stigma of Mental Illness

As the partner of someone who experienced Post Natal Depression, I have been astounded by the stigma that still surrounds a mental health diagnosis. I am a social worker and had hoped that people would feel empathic, but that was not always the case, even in the so called “caring professions” and work places can be a nightmare to navigate. The trouble with mental health is that it invariably brings up issues for other people. And they don’t often have the cognitive insight to see that their reactions are in fact just projections of their own unresolved issues. This can be because they themselves are feeling vulnerable and in fear of becoming mentally ill; they have had family upbringings where memories are triggered by hearing that you have been diagnosed; they don't know how to react and feel embarrassed; or they simply buy into the stereotypes prolifically lauded in the media. If any of these reactions occur, you can guarantee that the response you receive will not be a supportive one. They either run a mile, start talking to you whilst backing away slowly, or they simply leave without even acknowledging your disclosure. This is often doubly difficult in groups for new mothers. Often there can be a self defeating superiority game occurring where mothers buy into the belief that they should all be having a ball with their beautiful bundles of joy. How can a mother sit there and discuss her very real fears that she is feeling suicidal, when all the other mothers are going to look askance and probably contact CYFs, because naturally, the child(ren) will be at risk. The answer is in honest discourse. The only way that mental health issues are going to be de-stigmatised, is by the honest discussion of “how it really is”. The more people who come out of the stigma and into the light, the more understanding there will be of the issues, the journeys and the successes. Here are a few things you can think about:

• If they had cancer, how would you perceive

the illness? Having a mental health diagnosis is no different to having any other illness

really. They both might need medication, and will definitely need understanding and lots of love

• Keep in mind that 1 in 4 of us will suffer with

mental health issues in our lifetime, so it is not that uncommon. Men also experience PND

• Women experiencing PND can often feel

ashamed or guilty about their feelings, especially at a time when people around them expect them to be happy and smiling (PND is sometimes described as the ‘smiling’ depression).

• PND can be overlooked or dismissed as

‘baby blues’. This can prevent people seeking help and getting early treatment.

• It is common for the mother to feel that she is

a bad mother who is incapable of raising her child(ren). This can lead to a fear that if she talks about her symptoms and feelings, she will be judged and her child(ren) will be taken away.

• A common misunderstanding is that mothers

who experience PND are a danger to their child(ren) and may neglect or harm them. Although some mothers may fear that they will unintentionally harm the baby, actual incidents are very rare.

• PND is very treatable, in-fact the easiest

depression to treat and help is available.

• Lack of awareness about PND can lead to

women experiencing feelings of guilt and isolation. This can prevent people from seeking help.

• Early detection and treatment will help

making recovery faster and smoother.

• Treatments available for PND include CBT,

therapy and antidepressants. Many people also find alternative therapies and counselling helpful. A GP or health visitor can offer advice on appropriate treatment. There may be additional considerations if the woman is pregnant or breastfeeding

• Often women find a combination of different

treatments helpful.

Don’t make recovery from the mental health ‘label’ more difficult than recovery from the illness

By Well Women Journalist, Andi Chapman

Support Bellyful and Well Women at a fundraising garage sale on Saturday 24th July from 8am until 12pm @ Christian Family Centre, Belgium Road, Pukekohe

Don’t forget to buy a sausage, lollies, toffee apples and baked goods from Well Women on the day!

When PORSE Pukekohe team coach Cherie Wilson came face to face with a local family devastated by the effects of post natal depression, the event made her even more determined to help other families in the same situation. Cherie was called by a distraught husband in the local community who was worried that his wife was suffering from PND. “He asked me if PORSE could help find in-home childcare for their child as support for his wife so we set about finding the right educator for the family. “Tragically we were brought in too late and his wife took her own life – just days before her child’s first birthday,” Cherie explained. The event affected Cherie enormously and she, with the PORSE Pukekohe team now take an active role in the community helping women to work through the dark days of depression. A group of PORSE Educators are on hand, together with other volunteers, at the Well Women Franklin support group. Women are able to leave their children with the understanding and caring volunteers while they join the peer support group. Cherie says that while PORSE volunteers are there to help at support groups, the strength that women find from having the on-going support of a PORSE Nanny or Educator in their lives is huge. “People think they don’t need help or sometimes they think they wouldn’t be able to afford help but it’s amazing how just having a break for one day can help mothers through PND.” Kim’s story: Kim Myhill is a Well Women committee member and the South Auckland social worker has first hand experience of post natal depression. “In the time that I was most unwell, I felt scared and desperate. I felt overwhelmed, and a failure. I felt I had no value for anyone, or any place in the world. I felt ugly and useless, and unable to function. “ Kim says these feelings fluctuated from hour to hour – shifting from one extreme to the other. “At times, I would feel that I could take on the world, and do anything.” Kim was able to call on support from those closest to her, her partner, midwife, family members and birth support people. “They helped me stay safe from my own actions, and made sure that my babies remained safe too. “ Kim’s journey to wellness required medication to bring some stability, combined with a peer support group that was offered at the time by Maternal Mental Health Services. “My links and relationships with women who were also unwell was so significant – to know that I wasn’t alone and that others knew how I felt.

Another important milestone for Kim was her first contact with PORSE. “I needed someone to care for my baby once a week to allow me time out from the demands of motherhood . My baby was only 5 months old – so we didn’t want to use a childcare centre, but we didn’t want someone coming to my home. So, a PORSE Home Educator was ideal and affordable with help from a WINZ subsidy.” “Now my child is almost 3 years old, and is still with the same PORSE Home Educator - she doesn’t want to leave her.” “PORSE also enabled me to return to paid employment when I was ready, it helped to know my child was having a good day while I was at work.” Kim has been part of the team responsible for creating the successful Well Women Franklin, a registered charitable trust offering support for mothers suffering from PND in South Auckland. “For Well Women – PORSE actively work with us on our Management Committee, and remind us that PND affects children in the family too. During our weekly support group meetings, PORSE undertake responsibility for providing volunteer childcare providers for the children of the women attending the group. PORSE ensures that volunteers are safe and appropriate to be caring for children and are police checked. Kim says the Well Women service is a model that could work throughout the country. “PORSE are passionate about the needs of children, which means family. Well Women are also about supporting families – PND is an illness that affects the whole family.” Kim explains that new mothers need to look out for the warning signs – and talk to someone about them. “Tired is normal with a new baby, but other stuff is not ‘normal’, and doesn’t have to be – such as low mood, being more unhappy than happy, crying most of the day (and night), feelings of panic and/or anxiety, lack of enjoyment in motherhood. Sleep deprivation can bring some of this, but not on-going.” Kim says it is so important for a mother to talk to someone, the moment she recognises any signs of PND - either ante-natal or post natal. “Tell your partner, friend or family member, and perhaps most importantly your GP, and keep telling people until you get some help.” But don’t expect recovery to be quick. “You need to allow time; recovery can not be rushed” says Kim. “Each step is needed. At present, I’m not sure if I can say ‘I am fully recovered’ – I am still on medication; still need support from my family and friends at times, and still rely on the support from PORSE to give my family the extra stability we need.”

PORSE In-Home Childcare and Educator Training – supporting South Auckland mothers

Time Out!

X

X

X

X

X

X

X

X

X

X

X

X

X

When caring for our children, it’s too easy to forget about ourselves! We must remember that if we burn out, we’re no good to anyone.

Well Women Newsletter Editor, Charlie Saunders, guides you through the art of thinking about yourself

once in a while - and encouraging friends to do the same!

When I heard about a local group - Time Out (Waiuku) - setting up a session that provided (almost) free childcare and an opportunity for mums (and caregivers) to have some ’Time Out’ to learn some new crafts, I was quickly excited and had the children ready at the door! I don’t mind mingling with others and the opportunity to have Twin A and Twin B looked after for merely a gold coin, was too good to pass up! That was back in early 2007 and I’ve hardly missed a Time Out session since. My ‘crafting’ knowledge is now vast as I have learnt to mosaic, decoupage, make cards, scrapbook, make chocolate (my ultimate favourite), make a notice board and recover shoe boxes - to name a few! What I’ve made has never been that important (apart from the chocolate!). The time off I’ve allowed myself has been the most valuable. I’m a busy mum of four children and along with house

duties, working as a Childbirth Educator, writing various publications, involving myself with committees and being a wife, I never seem to squeeze in any ‘me’ time - unless you count the indulgence of sleep! I always encourage my friends and mums from the antenatal classes I facilitate, to attend the Time Out sessions. You never know what you’ll learn, what new hobby you’ll take on and what new friends you’ll develop. From the very popular chocolate making session, I decided that the fun couldn’t end with one hour long class, it needed to become a club! A club that my friends could join. And so, Chocolate Club was born. Below is a very simple guide to setting up your own chocolate club. Enjoy….. And if you want to find out more about Time Out in Waiuku, please contact Kate Fegan - 09 2351301 or 021 1024677 or feganfarm@maxnet.co.nz

Step 1 Contact friends and set a date

E-mail Text Call

Step 2 Everyone donate $5 to purchase equipment ($2 donations or 1 bar of chocolate will be the contribution after the first club night).

Purchase moulds from Trade Me, www.homestylechocolates.co.nz or Spotlight. (You can also use ice cube trays). Purchase bulk chocolate from Crean or buy family size blocks from the supermarket when on special!

Step 3 Lay out newspaper or a wipeable table cloth on to your dining table. Using a fondue set, heat the chocolate until it is of pouring consistency (if you don’t have a fondue set, you can put a bowl of chocolate in to the microwave to melt and keep melting as it hardens)

If you have bought some powdered colouring (to add to white chocolate), you can make up different colours in microwave safe bowls and reheat when it hardens.

Step 4 Using the moulds or ice cube trays, you can pour in the chocolate and tap the container on the surface to bring out any air bubbles. Leave in the fridge to set (it doesn’t take too long).

If you are using coloured chocolate, you can add it to the mould first, using a tooth pick for finer detail, and then add white, dark or milk chocolate to fill the mould/tray.

Once set, eat!

Top Tip!

You can buy fillings (strawberry, marshmallow etc.) from specialist stores but you can also find yummy fillings from your supermarket: caramel sauce, nutella, nuts and liquers

www.881homestay.co.nz 09 232 8581 or 0211 635 606

accommodation@881homestay 881 Tuakau Bridge – Port Waikato

Road, Te Kohanga, Tuakau, RD3

Our Supporters Please support

those who support us!

Susan Goldstiver Psychotherapist

www.postnataldistress.co.nz

Bogaart's Hair Design & Tanning Bogaart's Hair Design & Tanning Bogaart's Hair Design & Tanning Bogaart's Hair Design & Tanning

StudioStudioStudioStudio

42 Edinburgh Street 42 Edinburgh Street 42 Edinburgh Street 42 Edinburgh Street

Pukekohe Pukekohe Pukekohe Pukekohe

(09) 2388766(09) 2388766(09) 2388766(09) 2388766

Well Women is a group for women who women who experience ante or post natal distress. We meet every week (during the school term) at a venue in Franklin and have a group discussion facilitated by a qualified Social Worker. We discuss anything that is ‘on top’ and playing on our minds. On three occasions throughout the term, we have a speaker who is invited to come along and share their expertise with us. This could be a clinical psychologist, dietician, someone specialising in bonding & attachment, play therapist, masseuse or anyone who might be able to assist with the path to recovery for PND sufferers. We are a Non-Profit Organisation who rely on sponsorship for childcare - an essential component in the effectiveness of the group sessions - and for other aspects of running the group. We welcome new members and offer an initial discussion with a social worker, who can assess the needs of an individual more effectively.

Contact us via any of the following means: Phone: Kim Myhill - 0211588134 (daytime) Or 09 2328581 (evenings and weekends)

E-mail: nzwellwomen@hotmail.com

Who Are Well Women?

Phone Numbers

• Well Women: Phone: Kim Myhill -

0211588134 (daytime) Or 09 2328581 (evenings and weekends); E-mail: nzwellwomen@hotmail.com;

• Awhinatia Community Mental Health

Centre - 09 2951200

• Mental Health Foundation of New Zealand -

Phone: 09 300 7010

• Lifeline - 09 5222 999

• Manukau Community Mental Health Team -

09 261 3700

Websites

• www.webhealth.co.nz

• www.mentalhealth.org.nz

• www.depression.org.nz

• www.mothersmatter.co.nz

• www.outoftheblue.org.nz

• www.spinz.org.nz (Suicide Prevention)

• www.centreforattachment.com

• www.pnd.org.nz

• www.pnpsupport.org.nz

(Postnatal Psychosis support group)

• www.fatherandchild.org.nz

• www.lifeline.org.nz

Well Women Franklin

Useful Contacts Phone Numbers

• Well Women: Phone: Kim Myhill -

0211588134 (daytime) Or 09 2328581 (evenings and weekends); E-mail: nzwellwomen@hotmail.com;

• Awhinatia Community Mental Health

Centre - 09 2951200

• Mental Health Foundation of New Zealand -

Phone: 09 300 7010

• Lifeline - 09 5222 999

• Manukau Community Mental Health Team -

09 261 3700

Websites

• www.webhealth.co.nz

• www.mentalhealth.org.nz

• www.depression.org.nz

• www.mothersmatter.co.nz

• www.outoftheblue.org.nz

• www.spinz.org.nz (Suicide Prevention)

• www.centreforattachment.com

• www.pnd.org.nz

• www.pnpsupport.org.nz

(Postnatal Psychosis support group)

• www.fatherandchild.org.nz

• www.lifeline.org.nz

Well Women Franklin