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The Rotary Club of Ballina Incorporated Po Box 150 Ballina NSW 2478 www.rotaryballina.org

Newsletter of the Rotary Club of Ballina

10th July 2017 Edition 201702

Meeting Notes

DUTY ROSTER 17th July 24th July 31st JulyPRESIDENT

Michael Jones

VICE PRESIDENT

John Anderssen

SECRETARY

Gary Faulks

TREASURER

Bryan Marriott

PRESIDENT ELECT

TBA

CLUB ADMIN

Jenny Hill

SERVICE PROJECTS

John Anderssen

FOUNDATION

Neil Bambrook

PUBLIC RELATIONS

Bruce Bevan

YOUTH

Gary Massie

MEMBERSHIP

Debbie Carter

Sergeant at Arms

Jenny Hill

Bulletin & Web

Bruce Beesley

INFORMATION

www.rotaryballina.org

On Duty Therese Crollick Debbie Carter Jenny Hill

Welcome Guests & All MJ MJ

Introduce Guest Speaker

Thank Guest Speaker N/A MJ MJ

CLUB PROGRAM

17th July Ballina RSL – Board Meeting – Gary Massie 5Min

24th July Ballina RSL – Bryan on Ballina Foundation

31st July Ballina RSL – Assistant Governor Elva Fitzell Visit

7th August TBA

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The Rotary Club of Ballina Incorporated Po Box 150 Ballina NSW 2478 www.rotaryballina.org

Meeting Notes

President Michael opened the meeting and welcomed guests Linda & John and made a few announcements:

A new organisational chart showing where everyone slotted in was circulated by email so

everyone could start the year knowing that the ship would be run in an efficient and orderly

manner.

The Ballina-on-Richmond Changeover is on this coming Thursday and a few from our club

will attend.

The Combined Services Club will be winding up and a meeting to sort out the finer detail to be held next week.

President Michael then spoke briefly on some thoughts he had for projects during the year.

Sergeant Session – our second sergeant for the year – Bob – again came well prepared

and put up a good performance. The session was longer than he had predicted, by the time

he dealt with all the fines proposed by other members. Ex Sergeant Eddie even passed a

favourable comment on how the floating Sergeant is working so far.

Heads & Tails – won by Garry M – Gary selected a bottle of Red whilst President Michael

broke out the new pack of cards – unfortunately the card drawn was the 4 of spades.

Reports

Public Relations – Bruce hopes to have something in the Advocate next week.

Youth – Gary has nothing to report just yet.

Membership – Debbie is away.

Administration – Jenny reminded members that unless advised all future meeting will be

at the Ballina RSL.

Service Projects – John looking to do a few BBQ’s this year as well as the possible new

projects on the agenda.

Foundation – Neil went through the information recently sent out by Sue Randel on the

District Grants Annual Report for 2016/17 which highlighted the great work of the

Foundation and the Grants program.

President Michael then closed the meeting.

“Remember the person on duty is the Sergeant for the evening”

A Symphony of Opera" in Lismore

The newly formed committee of the ‘Combined Rotary Clubs of Lismore’ has collaborated with the Lismore Symphony Orchestra, Artist Director Nicholas Routley and 4 fabulous Opera singers to present ‘A Symphony of Opera’ concert on Saturday 22nd July 2017

IF YOU CANNOT ATTEND A MEETING CALL TREUDIE ON 0414 863 012 or EMAIL info@flowersinparadise.com.au

The Rotary Club of Ballina Incorporated Po Box 150 Ballina NSW 2478 www.rotaryballina.org

These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word,

taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were

taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'

ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

WITNESS: My name is Susan!

______________________________ _

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

______________________________ ______________

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?

WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

______________________________ ______________

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?

WITNESS: July 18th.

ATTORNEY: What year?

WITNESS: Every year.

______________________________ _______

ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?

WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.

ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?

WITNESS: Forty-five years.

______________________________ ___

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget..

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

______________________________ _____________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next

morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

______________________________ ______

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.

______________________________ _____________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS: Are you shitting me?

______________________________ ___________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?

WITNESS: Getting laid

______________________________ ______________

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ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

WITNESS: None.

ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

______________________________ ______________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS: By death..

ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

WITNESS: Take a guess.

______________________________ _____________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard

ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.

______________________________ _______

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

______________________________ ________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?

WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

______________________________ ___________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

WITNESS: Oral...

______________________________ ___________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM

ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.

______________________________ ______________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________ ________

And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS: No..

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

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The Rotary Club of Ballina Incorporated Po Box 150 Ballina NSW 2478 www.rotaryballina.org

OLD EXPRESSIONS

"They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to

all pee in a pot Once a day it was taken and sold to the tannery.

If you had to do this to survive, you were 'piss poor.'

But worse than that were the really poor folks who couldn't

even afford to buy a pot. They 'didn't have a pot to piss in' and

were considered the lowest of the low."

"Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May,

and they still smelled pretty good by June.

However, since they were starting to smell, brides carried a bouquet of

flowers to hide the body odour.

Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married."

"Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water.

The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then

all the other sons and men, then the women, and finally the children.

Last of all the babies.

By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it.

Hence the saying, 'Don't throw the baby out with the bath water!'"

"Houses had thatched roofs with thick straw-piled high and no

wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get

warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived

in the roof.

When it rained, it became slippery and sometimes the animals

would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying, 'It's raining

cats and dogs'

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house.

This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and

other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed.

Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top

afforded some protection that’s how canopy beds came into

existence."

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"In old, small villages, local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins

and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25

coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside, and they realized they had been burying people alive.

So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and

tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night ('the graveyard shift') to listen for the

bell. Thus, someone could be 'saved by the bell,' or was considered a 'dead ringer. Now, whoever said history

was boring?"

This incredible piece about "the way things were" is a great reminder to respect our rich history.

"The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt.

Hence the term, 'dirt poor.' The wealthy had slate floors that would

get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw)

on the floor to help keep their footing.

As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you

opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood

was placed in the entrance-way. Hence, 'a thresh hold.'" "In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that

always hung over the fire. Every day, they lit the fire and added

things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much

meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the

pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day.

Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while.

Hence the rhyme, 'Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas

porridge in the pot nine days old.' Sometimes they could obtain

pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over,

they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth

that a man could 'bring home the bacon.' They would cut off a little

to share with guests, and would all sit around and 'chew the fat.'" "Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid

content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing

lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so

for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt

bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the

top, or the 'upper crust.'" "Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination

would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days.

Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and

prepare them for burial

They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the

family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if

they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a 'wake.'"